When Chris Distefano’s Mafioso Grandpa Fought in WWII

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  • Опубліковано 25 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 832

  • @UltiChadMan
    @UltiChadMan 4 роки тому +3309

    "38 waist 32 length. what kind of dimensions are those"
    FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS

    • @mediocreengineer8012
      @mediocreengineer8012 4 роки тому +34

      Circumference and length obviously

    • @johnathandoughboy
      @johnathandoughboy 4 роки тому +16

      katebe chikontwe wooooosh.

    • @elsnowman123
      @elsnowman123 4 роки тому +44

      IKR. Its so difficult finding pants in the right size :(

    • @hamthe1st326
      @hamthe1st326 4 роки тому +7

      Hard to find jeans even boot cut jeans

    • @ericoliver1603
      @ericoliver1603 4 роки тому +17

      fatty pants bitch hips lmao!!!!! UGH! Relatable AF!

  • @sup_toonn399
    @sup_toonn399 5 років тому +1742

    "you don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank"😂😂

    • @ejl74
      @ejl74 3 роки тому +7

      Liquid actually shot out of my nostrils

  • @TEXAS2459
    @TEXAS2459 5 років тому +2223

    ANXEITY IS FOR DEMOCRATS
    hahahahaa that cracked me so hard

    • @age-ben4910
      @age-ben4910 5 років тому +6

      Lol

    • @SirTootsAlot
      @SirTootsAlot 5 років тому +8

      I before E unless after C , come on PV get it together.

    • @HamsterK37
      @HamsterK37 5 років тому +3

      The follow up is what made the joke funny. Lol

    • @TheKatarinaGiselle
      @TheKatarinaGiselle 5 років тому

      S R huh?

    • @JarthenGreenmeadow
      @JarthenGreenmeadow 4 роки тому +1

      Yea PV do a better job. We expected better from you.
      You let us down.

  • @adambenzaari324
    @adambenzaari324 5 років тому +4907

    His nyc Italian accent is the most beautiful thing I ever heard

    • @MaloneMantooth
      @MaloneMantooth 5 років тому +57

      He has no accent

    • @limp6129
      @limp6129 5 років тому +68

      Malone Mantooth it’s very faint

    • @lsrpjune3500
      @lsrpjune3500 5 років тому +40

      Yall tripping haha this ain't no accent if you think he even has a slight accent in any type of new York slang or accent y'all tripping😂😂😂 I got sicilian family in new York after moving over or being born and yall trip😂😂

    • @brandonstonestone1795
      @brandonstonestone1795 5 років тому +8

      Gay

    • @publicopinion3596
      @publicopinion3596 5 років тому +6

      @@MaloneMantooth he just gay lol

  • @EnLaLuna23
    @EnLaLuna23 5 років тому +1202

    “Go make the fire house great again” 😂

  • @kylepowpow
    @kylepowpow 5 років тому +174

    "How bout no" and his motion fucking KILLED ME literally burst out laughing holy shit this guy is hilarious

  • @austeasadauskas2665
    @austeasadauskas2665 5 років тому +2231

    ‚If you knew my fireman friend‘s political views you‘d be like just let me burn‘ 😂😂😂 I‘m dead

  • @johnsonjj117
    @johnsonjj117 3 роки тому +165

    Chris always just seems like that really funny friend you have. Like you can tell it's very natural to him, and never feels like he's up on stage doing a bit

  • @rochellethundercloud346
    @rochellethundercloud346 5 років тому +579

    My new favorite saying is yeah,how about no

    • @robinsonshe06
      @robinsonshe06 5 років тому +9

      rochelle thundercloud - lol me too... that and the image of flicking cigarettes at the German tankers 😂🤣😂

    • @047Kenny
      @047Kenny 4 роки тому +7

      rochelle thundercloud “why don’t you go do it Eisenhower

    • @jeremyblackwater439
      @jeremyblackwater439 4 роки тому +1

      😭😂😂

    • @nikos2652
      @nikos2652 4 роки тому +1

      brilliant

    • @baron6797
      @baron6797 3 роки тому +1

      Dr. Evil

  • @alexdee6096
    @alexdee6096 3 роки тому +223

    “i’m good go make the firehouse great again” that line killed me and wasn’t laughed at enough

    • @TheGodlyGamers
      @TheGodlyGamers 3 роки тому

      Ladder 11

    • @PendulousJohnson
      @PendulousJohnson 3 роки тому +5

      Wasn't that funny

    • @tubby4388
      @tubby4388 2 роки тому

      @@PendulousJohnson I know, Most civil servants are conservatives.

    • @teddyperkins3406
      @teddyperkins3406 2 роки тому

      @@tubby4388 most college educated people are liberal

    • @remcovanvliet3018
      @remcovanvliet3018 2 роки тому +1

      @Teddy Perkins most college INDOCTRINATED people are liberals. Most educated people are conservative. Most smart people are libertarian.

  • @foxbritten
    @foxbritten 5 років тому +920

    “No we don’t Diane”

    • @hatkins02
      @hatkins02 5 років тому +2

      Grayson Fox lmfao I burst out laughing bro

    • @robinsonshe06
      @robinsonshe06 5 років тому

      Grayson Fox - “You’re eating your feelings” 😂🤣😂

  • @cdr8031
    @cdr8031 2 роки тому +545

    My grandfather also fought in ww2, he destroyed 3 german tanks only equiped with a crowbar, a hammer and a wrench, never made a big deal of it.
    But his officer called him the worst mechanic of the Wehrmacht.

    • @shempthedog8923
      @shempthedog8923 2 роки тому +11

      Lol that was good

    • @Userhandle7384
      @Userhandle7384 2 роки тому +3

      Underrated comment

    • @genekendrick679
      @genekendrick679 2 роки тому +2

      Lmao 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @curtislee-brown6353
      @curtislee-brown6353 Рік тому

      🤣😂🤣😂

    • @JustTheFlecks
      @JustTheFlecks Рік тому +6

      You think making light of the war is appropriate? I had a great uncle that died in a concentration camp. The ladder to his tower was icy and he fell from the top rung. Tragic.

  • @heyheyitsJoanna
    @heyheyitsJoanna 5 років тому +372

    I don't know why, but at "Go make the fire house great again" I had to pause the video I was laughing so hard.

  • @GatLaFlare
    @GatLaFlare 4 роки тому +87

    I died when he said "I'll make the whole thing look like an accident" 😂😂😂

  • @squirlesg2228
    @squirlesg2228 5 років тому +231

    “UNITED STATES OF MARIO THATS WHOS HERE NOW” LOL

  • @workingguy-OU812
    @workingguy-OU812 5 років тому +773

    He's got a great vibe for a comic - he could go far.

    • @dansmith935
      @dansmith935 3 роки тому +1

      We'll still not that famous

    • @RichPianasOilPump
      @RichPianasOilPump 3 роки тому +12

      @@dansmith935 tuck it back for chrissy d

    • @allnamesaretakenful
      @allnamesaretakenful 2 роки тому +1

      I hope so, because he fucking sucks at history. He thinks they had AK-47s in WWII and that the US army was using them.

    • @exposedbhauturma130
      @exposedbhauturma130 2 роки тому +12

      @@allnamesaretakenful well this might surprise you, but a mafioso fighting in world war 2 with a wifebeater and a baseball bat is not a story intended to be a history lesson.

    • @poppytan5747
      @poppytan5747 2 роки тому +2

      @@allnamesaretakenful I dont think the joke was intended for historical analysts. I think it's meant to be a joke bud

  • @zacharyp7511
    @zacharyp7511 4 роки тому +44

    “I can hide it, shoulders”
    Idk why but to me that was one of the funniest things he said 😂😂

  • @mikemerc74
    @mikemerc74 5 років тому +126

    “The bodies in the trunk of the tank” lol

  • @kingbrutusxxvi
    @kingbrutusxxvi 4 роки тому +330

    My grandfather was also in the mob and fought in WWII. In his case a judge offered his a second "visit" to prison or five years in the army. This was in 1938 and no one in America had any idea what was about to happen so he took the army option thinking it was better. Fun fact, he actually spent a good amount of his army career in the brig. Ah, memories. ;-)

    • @Barbaroossa
      @Barbaroossa 2 роки тому +29

      Can't get mowed down by an MG42 if you're in the brig. Big brain moment.

    • @ktbk5vn
      @ktbk5vn 2 роки тому +4

      The mob that’s cool (in a way) what fmaily

    • @ktbk5vn
      @ktbk5vn 2 роки тому

      The mob that’s cool (in a way) what fmaily

    • @ravagesoyjoy
      @ravagesoyjoy 2 роки тому +6

      So he was a sandbag? I knew a dude like that. No kidding, he got kick out and he didn't know about until one morning he was told by the s-1 guys that they got his papers ready. Lmfao! He thought he had a year left or something😂😂😂😂

    • @jamesbarrisjr
      @jamesbarrisjr Рік тому

      Your grandpa lied to you

  • @NetworkSkyler
    @NetworkSkyler 5 років тому +2933

    “Anxiety’s for the Democrats.”

    • @bull419
      @bull419 5 років тому +62

      Right now it's anxiety for republicans ..!!!

    • @maniclurker1
      @maniclurker1 5 років тому +111

      @@bull419 Haha, yeah! Such a good joke. Wow. Funny!

    • @johnlewis8934
      @johnlewis8934 5 років тому +19

      Nahh a good joke is a good joke.

    • @MichaelDelvalle-nt4gp
      @MichaelDelvalle-nt4gp 5 років тому +3

      bull419 not at all lol

    • @konvix1673
      @konvix1673 4 роки тому +11

      bull419 wrong lol

  • @almostfamous5225
    @almostfamous5225 5 років тому +76

    His cadence, timing and jokes were on point. He got so much better.

  • @michaelivy5327
    @michaelivy5327 5 років тому +282

    Someone was heckling bad, you did a good job sticking to your joke.

    • @npc1172
      @npc1172 5 років тому +23

      Lol what? Nobody was heckling.

    • @michaelivy5327
      @michaelivy5327 5 років тому +15

      Towards the end you can here someone.

    • @MrWolfSnack
      @MrWolfSnack 4 роки тому +5

      Everyone tries to heckle this dude's jokes - he makes a lot of pansies cry with his stories.

    • @DreIsGoneFission
      @DreIsGoneFission 2 роки тому

      @@michaelivy5327 hear

  • @The1Mustache3
    @The1Mustache3 2 роки тому +8

    " Just a War of all grandpa's " this line is gold

  • @Nesto38
    @Nesto38 4 роки тому +33

    Lmao "I'll make the whole thing look like an accident"

  • @speedrob
    @speedrob 5 років тому +10

    "You don't have to stick the bodies in the trunk of the tank" lmfao :D

  • @morenow3092
    @morenow3092 5 років тому +560

    He got funnier since guy code

    • @cecilycook5592
      @cecilycook5592 5 років тому +25

      THATS WHERE I KNOW HIM .... THANK YOU 😱🙏🙏

    • @moosemilk8956
      @moosemilk8956 5 років тому +4

      He was also in benders. Not to well known but great series.

    • @tatsusama3192
      @tatsusama3192 4 роки тому +9

      I was trying to remember the name of that show for years. Thank you! Him and Andrew Schulz were hilarious

    • @zaxx29
      @zaxx29 4 роки тому +2

      @@tatsusama3192 That's where Pete Davidson was too. So many good comedians came from that show.

    • @basketanand
      @basketanand 4 роки тому

      Ohhhh yeah!! That’s where I know him from. It’s so fucking weird to think about it now, but Guy Code was like a University for great, new alt-ish stand up and comedy, the people who graduated from there. It was like a stepping stone where they were paying their dues. Pete Davidson still jokes about it, about how if he got fired from SNL he’d just sneak back into background on Wild N’ Out hahaha

  • @Sylveon1002
    @Sylveon1002 2 роки тому +13

    “Walking up to german tanks flicking cigarettes at them” 💀💀💀

  • @daniloventura112
    @daniloventura112 5 років тому +17

    The canned laughter almost killed this... The man is funny enough on his own. Great bit.

  • @TheDocV627
    @TheDocV627 2 роки тому +4

    "Grandpa you dont have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank" HAHAHAHAHA

  • @outlawz7623
    @outlawz7623 5 років тому +71

    Damn I remember this dude from guy code... didn't know he was this funny.

    • @zaxx29
      @zaxx29 5 років тому +6

      Yeah for real. Him and Andrew Schultz have been killing it recently. Hopefully they get some specials soon.

  • @NIIIIQQ
    @NIIIIQQ 5 років тому +121

    Someone funny on comedy central? This was actually quite refreshing. Digging the new direction, keep it up guys.

  • @r.p.mcmurphy8917
    @r.p.mcmurphy8917 2 роки тому +15

    just found this dude today and I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time

    • @thatonemetalhead4176
      @thatonemetalhead4176 2 роки тому

      until he makes it political. shits annoying

    • @teddyperkins3406
      @teddyperkins3406 2 роки тому +1

      @@thatonemetalhead4176 dont be so sensitive snowflake. the WORLD thinks trumps a clown

  • @happyhaunter_5546
    @happyhaunter_5546 5 років тому +86

    Everyone who's been active knows there's always someone just like this in your unit, and another guy that is Texas everything

  • @Zkullz69
    @Zkullz69 5 років тому +59

    You know what mobsters and ww2 have in common, the tommy gun...

  • @originalrecipe7988
    @originalrecipe7988 2 роки тому +3

    "United States of Mario, that's who's here." lmao sounds like something an Italian would say

  • @epoisme6160
    @epoisme6160 5 років тому +14

    confused black ladies in the front row at 1:01 was my favorite

  • @stevemeters3090
    @stevemeters3090 3 роки тому +3

    i completely understand. My grandfather was an Italian dude raised in Brooklyn named Guiseppe...
    1000% not lying.

  • @erttttt
    @erttttt 4 роки тому +10

    "Grandpa, you don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank."

  • @brandynwells5068
    @brandynwells5068 3 роки тому +1

    You don't have to put the body's in the back of the tank was priceless

  • @alecmoore7664
    @alecmoore7664 4 роки тому +10

    Babe speaks “Valley Girl” perfectly

  • @elmido2664
    @elmido2664 3 роки тому +1

    I pictured his grandpa as Paulie Gualtieri from ‘The sopranos’ and it’s just perfect

  • @huntercrowley564
    @huntercrowley564 4 роки тому

    Love nothing more than people that go to a comedy show. Sit front row, and don’t even crack a smile! STAY HOME

  • @Shaunster1995
    @Shaunster1995 2 роки тому +5

    One of the funniest jokes of all time I've watched this 20 times over the years.

  • @justcurious3514
    @justcurious3514 2 роки тому +3

    Just finished watching this whole special. Funniest thing I've seen in a long time. immediately watching it again

  • @keysersoze3804
    @keysersoze3804 5 років тому +9

    The voice he does when he says "I'm writing an exposé on the mafia." Sounds just like Nick Swordson

  • @davidpfeifer4388
    @davidpfeifer4388 2 роки тому +1

    “Shoot them, move up the beach”😭😭😂😂😂💀

  • @michellea.4243
    @michellea.4243 5 років тому +30

    I feel like the pants joke is relatable to every woman who ever lived 😂

  • @IPlayOneOnT.V.
    @IPlayOneOnT.V. 2 роки тому +5

    I haven't heard Chris in a while and I love his family mob stories.

  • @clydekaila123
    @clydekaila123 3 місяці тому

    Still coming back to this and it still kills 😂😂😂

  • @davescott8859
    @davescott8859 5 років тому +7

    This guy is a beast at the comedy game, great set.

  • @TwentyOneBunSalute
    @TwentyOneBunSalute 2 роки тому

    It's was just a war of all grandpas" lmao dead

  • @harmonyquinn2557
    @harmonyquinn2557 5 років тому +4

    2:53 My captions on the video read
    “You’re eating your veal eggs”

  • @libertasmorix
    @libertasmorix 5 років тому +283

    AK-47 in WWII? Which universe is this?

    • @joegarcia1149
      @joegarcia1149 5 років тому +43

      hahaha ...just roll with it ...

    • @samuelmorel9340
      @samuelmorel9340 5 років тому +55

      This is a dude who got famous on Guy Code on MTV he's not a historian

    • @InnerDness
      @InnerDness 5 років тому +55

      The one where this is a joke in a comedy routine, dipshit

    • @darthballz5349
      @darthballz5349 5 років тому +11

      A liberal universe lol.

    • @MOperator
      @MOperator 5 років тому +11

      @@samuelmorel9340 the manufacturing year is in the g damn name guy

  • @AMetalWorld
    @AMetalWorld 4 роки тому +2

    ‘Fattypants Bitchhips’ is my new favorite insult

  • @scope402
    @scope402 4 роки тому +4

    *walked up to german tanks flicking cigarettes at them* 😂😂😂

  • @colleenbenson7755
    @colleenbenson7755 Рік тому

    "All my friends, cops, firemen, criminals" lol

  • @iveketsmyroksov6834
    @iveketsmyroksov6834 3 роки тому +1

    Grandpa, You don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank. Hahahahahahaaaa

  • @eliweinsteinlcsw
    @eliweinsteinlcsw 3 роки тому +3

    I loved the 38x32 been that way for years and it's a hard life!! Love your comedy man

  • @kt420ish
    @kt420ish Рік тому

    "Grandpa you don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank" 😂😂😂

  • @NomanAhmed3
    @NomanAhmed3 5 років тому +6

    "War of all Grandpas" I just realized mine did too.3:01

    • @Erik-my1in
      @Erik-my1in 4 роки тому

      Noman Ahmed mine did too lmao

  • @ludvigeh
    @ludvigeh 3 роки тому +1

    “United States of Mario is who’s here now”😂

  • @coloradogrownHD
    @coloradogrownHD 4 роки тому +6

    Iv been watching every podcast and every video I see of this guy. Hilarious!!

  • @DekkarJr
    @DekkarJr 5 років тому +9

    hahha man. This guy is an underrated comic.

  • @Aklifedesign
    @Aklifedesign 2 роки тому +2

    i love sensitive guys. soft & cuddly✨

  • @darylchristie3809
    @darylchristie3809 3 роки тому +9

    Great comedian. Most naturally gifted comic. All his stuff is brilliant

    • @frankdehaan3980
      @frankdehaan3980 Рік тому

      Check out : Shane Gillis. I bet you will like him too ✌

  • @davidortiz8705
    @davidortiz8705 5 років тому +16

    People should check out BENDERS. It was a show, cancelled already, but he’s funny as hell & so are most of the rest of the cast. Great if you want to just laugh. It’s on Netflix currently.

    • @isaacc3307
      @isaacc3307 5 років тому

      No. Were not checking out shit.

  • @sxnchamusic
    @sxnchamusic 2 роки тому +2

    Great humour after a while for a change. Class, man!

  • @1evol909
    @1evol909 5 років тому +13

    I love his friends list

  • @aick
    @aick 5 років тому +85

    Thanks for making me insecure.... if 38/32 is mom hips I'm a morbidly obese Minion....

    • @pavelcruz2345
      @pavelcruz2345 5 років тому +3

      Eric Beckstead 36/32 here. I feel ur pain.

    • @gamingsaint6238
      @gamingsaint6238 4 роки тому

      Aick B its okay your hips are kind of like calves, size is genetic.but also you fat

  • @ejaylala1
    @ejaylala1 4 роки тому +1

    This guy is really funny. He is so naturally funny

  • @gmont5082
    @gmont5082 3 роки тому +1

    "The melting candle from beauty n the beast"...😂😂😂

  • @imthesnakeking
    @imthesnakeking 2 роки тому

    "United States of mario" is one of my favorite lines ever.

  • @thatstndguy5862
    @thatstndguy5862 5 років тому +4

    " Who needs to go bye-bye? "

  • @joshjohnson2600
    @joshjohnson2600 4 роки тому +7

    It’s sad that he passed up the opportunity to express how hard it would be to flip the bird without thumbs.

  • @jonsamuels9245
    @jonsamuels9245 5 років тому +1

    Flickin cigarettes at tanks! One liner of the year!

  • @michaelc2321
    @michaelc2321 Рік тому

    My great grandfather was in Sicily and fought in the Italian resistance and was also involved in the Italian M during and after WW2. After the war he came to the US and worked in horse racing for the M at Santa Anita horse park (Arcadia CA) then moved to Keeneland Horse racing park in Versailles KY before being shot & k*lled in 1987. Wild life story

  • @MrKhho100
    @MrKhho100 2 роки тому +3

    The fact Chris is confirming mafia stereotypes baffles me

  • @taemeister9302
    @taemeister9302 4 роки тому +2

    This bastard inherited his grandfather's soundproof basement.

  • @brosegoes
    @brosegoes 5 років тому +10

    Not too shabby

  • @mattcinnamo103
    @mattcinnamo103 2 роки тому

    His grandpa probably was drinking red wine out of his canteen.

  • @rileymcphee9429
    @rileymcphee9429 2 роки тому

    That mafia WW2 bit was legendary

  • @runwithscizzors3904
    @runwithscizzors3904 4 роки тому +5

    I'm an Italian who puked myself until I passed out because of anxiety last night.

    • @dansmith935
      @dansmith935 3 роки тому +1

      I have that what help me is learning how to draw fruit at the beginning and are easier try that bro

  • @raulcazares1985
    @raulcazares1985 3 роки тому +2

    Love this guy man

  • @yesfan157
    @yesfan157 5 років тому +3

    I like Chris's standup style.

  • @wadeperkins714
    @wadeperkins714 3 роки тому

    him calling out my exact size 38-32 😭
    thunder thigh brotherhood

  • @LexValidus
    @LexValidus Рік тому

    Honestly surprised there wasn’t something like “Nice bunker you got here. Be a shame if something happened to it” in there.

  • @damonsta247
    @damonsta247 5 років тому +4

    “No we don’t, Diane”

  • @sabrinaz670
    @sabrinaz670 4 роки тому

    No we don’t Diane. I CRIEDDDD😂😂😂😂😂

  • @tituslabienus01
    @tituslabienus01 3 роки тому

    'United States Of Mario'🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @DanTheTrojanMan123
    @DanTheTrojanMan123 4 роки тому

    As I put my 38x32 pants on! Crying! Lol

  • @TheBrob1983
    @TheBrob1983 5 років тому +1

    Definitely watching the rest of this special😀😀😁😀😁😀

  • @Mr.HotDogShirtGuy
    @Mr.HotDogShirtGuy 3 роки тому

    Ladder 14, it’s a character piece.

  • @calebsargent6902
    @calebsargent6902 5 років тому +1

    This is my new favorite joke sequence

  • @MrAppleOrchard
    @MrAppleOrchard 3 роки тому +23

    The fact that Chrissy Chaos thinks that everyone had AK47s in ww2 really bothers me for some reason...

    • @mikedegrazia
      @mikedegrazia 2 роки тому +1

      Maybe he was in stalingrad...

    • @michaelvega3157
      @michaelvega3157 2 роки тому +2

      It shouldn’t, it’s comedy ya dingbat

    • @phuckyocouch9098
      @phuckyocouch9098 2 роки тому +2

      @@mikedegrazia they had the ppsh 41 in ww2 the ak47 came later.

  • @PapaGuapo
    @PapaGuapo 5 років тому +3

    1:01 these two girls up front are unimpressed 🤣🤣

  • @TheNebraska402
    @TheNebraska402 5 років тому +1

    Glad I found this guy

  • @shotoutcurb9071
    @shotoutcurb9071 Рік тому +1

    United States of Mario that’s who’s here now 😭😭💀

  • @MochiHTX
    @MochiHTX 5 років тому +3

    Bruh the feels of uneven clothes measurements hit home

  • @TheEASTbaseball
    @TheEASTbaseball 3 роки тому +1

    “He would put red wine in his canteen”

  • @tiffanycalle8836
    @tiffanycalle8836 5 років тому +25

    United States of Mario--DEAD.