Declutter Your Feelings | The Minimalists Ep. 427
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- Опубліковано 2 сер 2024
- The Minimalists talk about emotional clutter, the dangers of being a “helper,” and whether hoarding is a form of procrastination. Watch all 2 hours of episode 427 on The Minimalists Private Podcast: / theminimalists
Discussed in this episode:
Intro (00:00)
Did I accidentally steal a bicycle? (01:22)
Is hoarding just another form of procrastination? (15:29)
How can I teach my boyfriend to minimize? (24:39)
Where are The Minimalists touring in 2024? (31:52)
How can you maintain control of your space while moving an elderly parent or in-law into your home? (38:15)
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#TheMinimalists #Emotions #Clutter
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What’s one emotion you’d like to minimize?
Frustration.
Fear of people not reciprocating.
@@elaineclaire7063 Or the wrong kind of reciprocation. 🙁👍
Can relate, going through an experience like that now, send some tarts for an artist opening and i got ignored without a thank you.
Fear
My best friend in Connecticut called me to tell me she was feeding a stray cat about eight years ago.I was visiting and wound up taking over trying to find this cat's owner. We never found them and I wound up taking the cat back to my State and still have him many years later.He is a sweet cat, but he barfs after he eats A LOT. Years later, it has occured to me that maybe he had loving owners even though he was out in a snow storm.Maybe he was just barfing in their house too. I realized he was previously owned when I took him for a check up and found out he was neuterd. Oopsie. What could I have done? Taken him back and left him outside in a snow storm? So I kept him and have always felt guilty in case he had owners who loved him.I can relate to the bike story...Many years ago,I found an envelope with $400 bucks in at in a salon that I worked at. I gave it to my manager at the pharmacy next door and it occured to me years later, that he might have kept it. It might have been someone's rent and I wish that I just had posted it in the newspaper to find it's rightful owner.
I am a minimalist and my roommate is a collector and a beautiful pack rat. Boundaries have been priceless. Their space in the house is packed up to the ceiling and my spaces are what they call institutionally clean. The shared spaces are portioned off the same. I have anxiety with things and I laugh because they have anxiety without things. Around their chair are a few things and around mine nothing but a spot for coffee. They love art so there is a room that is 20 by 20 and I told them that they can take every wall and it looks like an art gallery. My only requirement is that they have to keep things clean, dusted, vacuumed, and neat which they have. You have never seen so many see through bins. At first it was difficult for me and after 5 years I have not convince them to have less. They love to shop and rescue things from second hand stores. It brings them joy. None of their stuff ever ends up in my space so it works out.
"Clinging to the luxury of not doing the hard things now "wow❤❤
TK, thank you for your compassionate response to the woman with the bike. Ryan, good to have you back, man. We love you!
The BIKE: use this as a learning experience- drop trying to control’ (in a good way), forgive yourself for taking on the baggage and learn from this- the BIKE has caused you to be trapped into a situation that has taken up space in your mind. Let it go- forgive- don’t pick it back up. Move forward with the knowledge that there are some situations that are not worth getting involved in. TK’s wallet example was a great one- ID was available so was an easy fix.
Wow, that last call gave me chill bumps. I am a 12 step gal myself, 25 years in Alanon, I grew up in serious violence, addicted parents and abuse.
Recovery saved my life and his call was so moving. You gents are in my top 3 list as well. Everything Thing That Remains has helped me learn to live in new ways. Thank you!
Love TK's quote about seeing someone's brilliance and beauty and calling it forward more effectively. Jotted this down to remember it.
This is not about the bike! Think lack of clear boundaries and control issues.
Random, but Ryan sounds so clear. I thought he was physically there. 😂
The biggest thing I got was from Tk. He was saying something about making an area easily accessible to put your things down even on the most tiring days.
What about understanding for the person living with a hoarder? Do they deserve no respect? Why is it all about respecting the hoarder? I have a twelve year relationship with someone who is a hoarder. It is very stressful.
Said by Josh with such lackadaisical nonchalance "nothing can get in your way if you dont know which way youre going in the first place" that certainly hits home and stunned me in such a way that i missed the next 5 minutes of what was said.
Josh, you’re wrong! THE BIKE: I don’t know about the laws of where she lives but if this was the U.K. then she has not stolen the bike. Here if you have made ‘all reasonable steps’ to find the owner, which clearly she has and even contacted the police, then after 28 days the property legally belongs to her. Here if the police took it in, they would give it to her.
Poland
Thanks. I'm needing this. ❤
My mom always taught me and my brother to be “saviors” later I learned she was a narcissist. This year my brother was killed, shot in the chest trying to interfere with a couples fight in a parking lot.
Sorry for your immeasurable loss.
Very sorry for the loss hugs
Thanks. We both lived a rough life and I’m actually shocked he make it to 25 years old. It’s a lifelong journey, reversing toxic and learned behaviors
Loving this “bite the bullet” topic.
I mean...I think TK deserved the cone.🍦👮♂
Thanks a lot for the ebook, I have just downloaded it in my Kindle👍
So much wisdom in this show.
Great channel, thank you!🙏
A person who leaves a bike unlocked and unchained is usually either someone who put it there for someone to take (decluttering) or is someone who stole the bike for some reason and stopped needing it, or wanting to get rid of evidence. I wouldn't take the bike in case it belonged to someone who had just become a murder or kidnapping victim.
Thoughtful
Deeply good
Thanks
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever,hoping to retire next year.. Investment should always be on any creative man's heart for success in life
That's awesome!!! I know nothing about investment and I'm keen on getting started. What are the strategies?
The first step in every successful investment is to establish your goals and risk tolerance, a task best undertaken with the assistance of a financial advisor with extensive financial market knowledge like Fergus Waylen
Wow. I'm a bit perplexed seeing him been mentioned here also Didn't know he has been good to so many people too this is wonderful, i'm in my fifth trade with him and it has been super
YES!!! That's exactly his name (Fergus Waylen) so many people have recommended highly about him and am just starting with him from Brisbane Australia
I don't want to put a figure to how much i've made doing that but let's just say it's more than enough to make trading worthwhile. And when i say worthwhile, i mean it.
Thank you
Where is the third guy? Not seen him for the past ~10 podcasts
Sentimental is the hardest for me
Aleksandra's dilemma reminds me of something the NYTimes ethicist would take on in his column.
If this was a dog, you reported it found and there was no record of the dog missing, and you would like the dog, would you leave the dog on the street?
Good point!
putting human attributes onto things is something i have trouble with. - like this lady feeling she needs to care for the bike. In case it ends up in a bad home or suffers a bad outcome. This kind of thinking gets in the way of me getting rid of things sometimes.
Amy's stolen all of my money. I can't even get a colonic to stay alive one more week.
😘
How not procastination?
You cant "teach" the boyfriend...you need to learn to deal with him❤