What Does It Mean To Project? A Psychological Defense Mechanism
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- Опубліковано 22 чер 2021
- Today's video answers the question:
How do I stop projecting when the person is reinforcing some of my insecurities with insults? I give examples of projecting your own thoughts onto others. I define the unconscious vs subconscious. The answer is you have to identify your negative self-talk and work through it.
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Yes, please talk more about defense mechanisms!
make them to get activated at people, with your vomiting of, attacking with lies :D :D :D
The thing is without considering the genetics, no one is born with self hatred, negative self talk or mental illnesses. If someone keeps destroying how you perceive yourself verbally all the time, in time, it's easy to believe these words instead of what you knew was true. So it's all in her head but others were in the first place.
Mental illnesses do have a genetic base... Im adopted and had a great childhood... But Im still bipolar and im pretty sure my bio mom was bipolar and im pretty sure my daughter's bipolar... There are mental illnesses you can gain through trauma... But some of the really difficult one's that are life long you're definitely born with... There's no triggering event... They just seek up one you... But they do drop hints if you can spot them.. But having creeps spout a bunch of b.s. at you does not help either... Especially if you're already vulnerable...
@@hunnybadger442 That's so true. 👏🏻
@@hunnybadger442 Facts!🗣
Elizabeth Moore yes! There’s even some hypothesis that even trauma can be inherited because of how it might affect gene expression.
@@daniela9488 Agreed. If you've ever read or watched Sapolsky, he talks about (so many things) but the seconds, minutes, hours, days, and years before a decision is made and all that happens in the brain before that point. We come to find out very little is actually decided by "us" in that moment.
Thinking of projection as a defense mechanism was revolutionary for me, and really helped me deal with a family member that really does it A LOT.
She's brilliant. She takes huge ideas and makes it digestible to the rest of us.
You are one reason why I’m doing psychology as a degree because the way you explain these makes me hopeful for helping other people as well thank you!
People with mental illness can often psychologically project when they feel stuck or are suffering in their mental health and having a crisis. I've seen this happen a lot. I had took my own advice in the comments after ruminating about issues for years. I have decided to finally get real help for my neurological disorder.
People without mental illness project. It's an individual thing, not a mental illness thing.
@@Sharon-sw7mr You are right, anyone can really. I'm just saying from the perspective of someone who is mentally ill when it becomes unmanagible you can often project or blame others for stuff uk. It can be hard to be totally accountable for your actions anr faults when you deal with any sort of thing really not just from a mental illness. Its human nature when stressed to outright dismiss something if it pertains negatively to you or you make the negative association uk. Everyone can find themselvez projecting but few will actually call out their own bs to try and learn not to default to that uk.
I told this to my mother last week & since she won't listen to me she should go see a professional that way she can speak with out feeling judged. It won't happen and I'm done trying to get a 61yr old to grow up. Thanks for helping in my mental growth. 💖💖
The key to healing from personality disorder is to be aware of the self unconscious thought that we all have. Meditation was a amazing tool to become self aware of these negative thoughts that make us trigger and go through another circle of paranoia episode.
I really hope the people in your life tell you every single day how much they love you, because you're a freakin blessing to the world. Thank you so much for working so hard and continuing to work hard both on and behind the scenes every single day. You're a real hero.
Yes to hearing more about defense mechanisms. One thing I do is clam up or reveal very little to those I feel are judgmental or self-righteous. I feel very uncomfortable talking about my life - small or large details.
Doctor Marks, your knowledge and willingness to share this knowledge is appreciated. For a future topic, can you explain why people live in the "past" instead of the " here and now"? Is there a condition for this? Thanks
That's one I will like to watch. I don't understand people that are just stuck on the past.
Most don't know they are stuck in the past, repeating the same patterns, until they become conscious they get re-cycled. Some people call it karmic loops.
I think if there was some sort of trauma its likely to repeat or replay the situation ( usually PTSD). When my best friend died at a very young age his Mother was never ever the same. Some things I dont think people get over. Maybe your asking about people that constantly dwell in the past. That would be an interesting talk. I would love something on re-training the brain to truly let go ( then sometimes I think we could almost get into a religious/God discussion.....sorry for the ramble!!
Thanks @Maria D for the suggestion. I’ve saved it to my list
Being ‘stuck in the past’ is called trauma.
The internal dialogue, the drama, the twist at the end where you find out real motivations. These fictional scenarios are so gripping!
I can't say enough how helpful your clear, concise and compassionate content has been in (our) lives, esp lately. Learning how elements of mental health work and interact inside of ourselves, and in the world/relationships around us, gives incredibly valuable perspective. Sometimes a shift in perspective can be not only inspiring or healing, but life saving.
Thank you
Thank you Dr Marks. This video was like it was made just for Me. I took a lot away from this. I did not see the connection regarding my own self hate. And knowing that that I need to bring my own self acceptance and love up to a place where I no longer allow people's criticisms to pierce my soul. Thank you so much.
That was exactly my takeaway!
Excellent takeaways. Best wishes to both of you 👍🏽
@@DrTraceyMarks Thank you so much Doctor.
@@wanjikuwainaina3091 I appreciate you saying this . knowing that it isn't something exclusive to me is very comforting. Often the mind and thoughts can be so convincing that it's an issue unique to myself and brings about even more shame and self condemnation because you feel like you're the cause of all life's problems. These videos and the cognitive behavioural therapy Dr Marks mentioned do help in recognising that it isn't normal and that these thoughts aren't always true. And I've learnt that often I catastrophize a situation. There's much work to do, but you're not alone. And neither am I. As the Bible so correctly says As well that we must "take every thought captive to Christ. " Grace, peace and best wishes
@@Ron-SA Amen! And it says that you have the power to take every thought captive. And that there is NOW (not tomorrow) NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus. He is where our help comes from. We need to know these things to be absolutely true, because they are.
PS: my first name is Grace ☺️
Developing a string sense if self is really hard to be able to stop projecting and to protect yourself when someone is projecting on to you.
🙃 I bet Dr. Marks is contributing to a better understanding of ourselves and others.
I like her work.
As a therapist I appreciate your psychoed videos. I've shared them with my clients and find them to be a great tool for my own learning as well as theirs. Thank you for making this video, I would love to learn more about defense mechanisms!
Hi, I'm new discovering you, but im very glad i did...Love your videos...They are very educational and awesome
Thanks so much Austria!
You explained projection and examples head on! I have enjoyed recently discovering you, and understanding the Psychological approach as to why we do things. I look forward to more videos!
How in the world do your videos not have +1 mill views each?! This content is very underrated. Your videos are amazing resources and the presentation is spot on.
So what about a narcissistic parent projecting all of their attitudes onto their children and the children growing up with a shame. Or siblings projecting their inner core being onto each other by which the narcissistic parent or parents projected onto their children
I was going to say the same thing. When your brain is developing and that is all you hear your whole life, how do you get out of that mindset? I had a Mother like that. Best thing I did was cut her out of my life, yet I can still hear her saying her hate daily. Even in therapy its very difficult to conquere
@@jaybyrd3240 affirmation videos are literally replacing cruel words spoken to me. They make me remember who I Know I am!! Loved and a very precious gift to my loved ones and this cold world. Fight fire with 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Good question. All I got was how disappointing I am to the family.
@@kellymoi7959 wish you a thousand thank you's ....and if I knew how to make a heart signal I would. Guess I'm too old for that. ...but thank you
@@jaybyrd3240 emojis!💙❤️💜💛🧡💚
GIVE US MORE ON THE DEFENSE MECHANISMS!!!! You’re incredible, thank you! ♥️
This has helped me so much. I've been aware of my actions but never knew the correct term and what goes into projecting. Not to mention the fact that I've always needed deeper explanations to things in order to grasp a concept. Definitely is very helpful to me
Yes, please ! More of defence mechanisms:) thank you
Thanks. Will do
I'd like to hear about all the different types of defense mechanisms people use. As insecure as I am, this one did not apply to me. I feel better when a loved one, or a friend accomplishes something that makes them happy or proud. I could be using a different defense mechanism that I'm not aware of. Thank you, I love your channel and this was quite interesting. ❤
After experience the horrors of depression I project it on my loved ones, always asking if they're feeling down as soon as they are a bit quiet or tired. 🤔
I was trying to tell my brother that he was being a jerk and he accused me of projecting. No, brother, you're being emotionally abusive and manipulative.
This! I hate people saying that everytime we lash out it's projecting. Or that everytime you don't like something about another person is because you hate that about you 🙄
@@Kaybye555 would that be them projecting that you're projecting? Projecting inception?
@@ebunni5862 right 😂 never ending loop of projection
this is gold. so glad to have found you on here. i love psychology as it helps me stay self aware and grow
I’m so glad you found me to
I always enjoy and am impressed by your presentations, and I really enjoy how you enunciate difficult medical terms; words I would find hard to say. Thanks!
So glad it’s helpful AthaB!
@@DrTraceyMarks hello. what are the common questions you ask to make unconscious behaviors conscious? and how would you know that you overusing defense mechanism? as stated, overuse of defense mechanisms will lead you to psychological dysfunction. please enlighten me on this part. thank you so much.
You are truly incredible. How well do you explain everything?! Thanks for making this video.
Thanks so much SangeetaSarma!
Good morning Dr Marks! Thank you for another awesome, engaging video
My pleasure and thank you!
6:30 I remember being told, excessively, that "People don't really hate their family; they're just saying that."
It takes on a twisted meaning after awhile.
Mom would tell us kids, "Your dad loves you, he just doesn't know how to show it". We knew Dad was running around on Mom, and we knew he did not love us. So what kind of projections and fear was my mom living with? Sad when your family lies to protect their own feelings, while gaslighting everyone else.
@@chinookvalley It's not common for people to realize what kids pick up on... Life is buried in the fog.
Oh man, I remember walking 3 whole blocks from home to the school play at like 8pm, and the teachers in charge asking where my Mom was; me telling them she was working... and then hearing them "whisper" to each other about how she's probably too drunk to show up...
I learned A LOT about the difference between what is said to you, and what is said about you.
Can I tell you something? I did a search for what is neurosis to educate myself and found your video. Now I’m hooked! Your voice tone and cadence are splendid. I can listen to you talk for days. Please tell me you’re single.
I've been binging on your videos today. You explain things so well! Thank you!
Dr. Marks, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE how you tell stories to explain mental health topics. It captures my attention (because I love a good story lol) and it makes it feel less like an abstract concept and more like something that I can apply. Thank you for such phenomenal teaching! See you next Wednesday! 😀
Thanks a lot Yvette. I like to help people “see” things. I love stores and examples too. 😊
Excellent Dr. Tracey! Yes please can you speak more on this. Thank you for your knowledge & expertise, thank you for sharing. God bless you, you are helping so many!
Omg I'm so tired now after Journaling, praying, crying watching your videos. I need to heal and get better. 3 years and from time my traumas came back to hunt me😬
mine never leave they just hide for a little bit to tease me into thinking im fine all of a sudden
I’ve literally been talking about projection a lot lately and then I see you just posted this, wow.
You are awesooooooooooooooooooooooooooome...... You even don't know how much we are benefitted from you and your videos...... Dr. Thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
Please, do talk more about defense mechanisms!! And thanks for your work, we appreciate it!
You’re welcome Andreas! 😊👍🏽
Wow! That was extremely helpful! Thank you! I do this a lot and didn’t even realize it! 💖 Your videos are very helpful!
You're so welcome!
Hi Dr. Marks! Your channel has been enormously helpful for me and I wanted to thank you for creating this content🙏🙏 and yes, I would love to hear about other psychological defense mechanisms such as self-defeating which I've noticed exists in my own behaviour.
Thanks Sam for your vote. I’m glad the content helps you
Thank you dr for inspiring videos like this!
You're welcome Hunk!
please do all the defense mechanisms! I love your examples
Thanks Palumbog2! That's the plan then.
Please please please make more videos like this Dr. Mark's. I just became aware that I do a lot of projecting. I would love to have more information and tips on this subject. Your videos have made a phenomenal impact in my life my health and my mental health. Thank you!
Yes please I would like to hear more. In my case specifically as a child who’s mother didn’t know where I ended and she began. As an example, she would often tell me I looked like a “streetwalker” when I left the house if it wasn’t in clothes she would approve of. It was almost like it was an affront to her own personal reputation.
I would love to hear more about that content. The example of using food as a weapon against someone was incredible!!!!!! More of that!!! You are the best!
I really like this example. Boy we are complicated! I wish you were in my area
Asking questions to understand the unconscious mind - that is why journaling and writing your thoughts out to put language to thoughts that can be processed and worked on .... thanks Tracey
Today I was thinking about this video lol I watched your old video (Stop Projecting) and I keep thinking about it . It’s so relatable I am the King of Projecting 😅 I read everyone’s mind it’s insane .
This was really great. I’d love to hear more about other defense mechanisms. It’s also interesting to see how different therapy approaches handle the same subject, like you did on CBT and psychotherapy. Thanks!
I'd love to hear more about projection such as "can someone work on this by themselves?"
If a person keeps meeting the same toxic/narsasistic person over and over again in different relationships. How is that person a mirror of their own projections? Or am I confusing two different concepts??
You explain things so easily and articulately! I love your videos.
Love Love Love this video! Thank you so much for sharing! I've seen my own fair share of projection in the workplace and I've wanted to understand why for a while now. I realize that I cannot help heal this person's own issues. I've debated pointing them out, but it seems like it may just upset them more. I'm starting to think that maybe just privately letting them know about the resources available to them may help them the most.
I do appreciate the clarity of your explanations on each topic. Thanks
YESSSSS MY QUEEN ALSO GAVE A VOCABULARY LESSON!!! BLESS YOU DR MARKS
I'm a little confused, because I thought to project means assuming/interpreting someone else's words, actions, mental state etc. within one's own frame of reference. I never thought that has to be connected to negative internalized stuff.
Example: "What do you mean, you don't want a bday party? _Everybody_ loves bday parties. You're gonna get one anyways, and I promise you're gonna love it!!"
I'd argue this is a kind of projection without negative internalized stuff.
As a person with autism, I often feel that people without autism project their abilities and enjoyments on me, not out of any negative internalization, but sometimes out of an intent to do me smth good (party, spontaneous visit) and almost always out of forgetting that I have limits that they don't have (spontaneous changes of plans, unpunctuality, well-meant advice "why don't you 'just' do " where will likely send me into a meltdown etc.).
In turn, I project too, for example, when I see someone being sad, my instinct is to comfort them by leaving them alone - because loneliness, peace and quiet comforts me, when I'm upset. And I did act like that for a long time until I got social competence training that taught me that most people like a hug when they're sad.
I always called these situations projection. Is there a different word for this?
Dr. Mark, you are an amazing person and doctor. Thank you for sharing your expertise. I really appreciate you. ❤❤❤
I'd like to see more videos like this. I find them very useful for self reflection.
I'm interested in wanting to know how to deal with someone who is projecting onto me, especially when dealing with a narcissist (or at least someone with a narcissistic trait) who is trying to protect themselves by preempting the possible accusation (which I consciously try to avoid making unnecessary accusations) by projecting what they know they're doing onto me, accusing me of what they are doing. I deal with this a lot in intellectual conversations online; as a person's argument falls apart, they begin lashing out to avoid admitting the failure of their argument. This has also occurred in person from time to time. (People are usually more self-controlled in person.)
My response is typically to ignore their accusations until it reaches a tipping point, such as if they reiterate them by listing their accusations against me that are all projections of their own behavior while I am trying to stick to the subject.
It’s different when it’s a virtual/online debate rather than an interaction with someone who knows you well. I think in the case of the debate it is best just to ignore or deflect because you really aren’t going to convince them that what they are saying is incorrect. When it happens with an acquaintance, you have to set limits that you’re not going to own what the person is saying. They have to see that what they’re saying doesn’t have much impact.
@@DrTraceyMarks Thanks for the reply, Dr.
Oh you explained this so well! THANK YOU! ❤
It's hard to be honest to your own self. But my therapist once told me that I should own not only my positive feelings but also my negative feelings. Now that I understand that owning my negativities is actually a positive thing, it helps a lot. There's no need to feel ashamed to acknowledge that we feel or think negatively sometimes. What matters is that how we would navigate the emotions and thoughts skillfully after first acknowledging them. To have both positive and negative emotions is to be a human. It's normal, it just means that we're human. That's what my thrapist told me.
I would very like to hear and learn about these things. It resonates in me strongly Thankyou Dr. Tracey for your help.
She's the best!
REWATCHED three times!! Maybe one of your best videos ever. Your explanation centering on self-responsibility and focusing on improving oneself over blaming others if excellent. Thank you for explaining this in such a clear way
Dr. Marks, I cannot thank you enough for tackling the viewer's question and this topic - this has been eye-opening. I appreciate you and all you do!
Thank You, Dr. Marks you help so many people with your videos
Hope many blessings come your way, kirk
Thank you so much for your help.🙏🏼🙏🏼
You’re welcome
Yes please I would like to learn more about self-defense mechanisms! Keep up the incredible work! :)
Clear, concise, and precise. Not emotional, but very easy to understand and identify with. Thank you. Be blessed.
This was a great explanation, Dr. Marks. Thank you very much for all your work.
Would you PLEASE do a video on FIGHT , FLIGHT or FREEZE and the differences? Maybe why some freeze why others dont? I think with all the anxiety in the world right now many are experiencing these feelings
This is like eating food that’s so good for my soul. I appreciate so much the content you provide as a mental health professional ! You’re a blessing 💜🙌🏻
So glad to be nourishing! Thanks Stephanie
Thank you doctor. I learn more from your videos than I have in 3 years of grad school for my masters.
Oh my goodness, Dr. Marks!!! You're awesome. Have you been reading my journal? Secretly reading my thoughts? Due to my miracle child I was bedridden. Then I had to have a c section so I was late in losing the weight. After that, I was In a car accident and live with back problems so the weight just stayed. And add relationships with verbally abusive men, I just gave up. This video explains so much. How can I lose the "not good enough" mentality??
I don't know what Dr. Tracy would say, but my situation is a lot like yours. I went for counseling. It became about asking myself the question: Not good enough for who? Whatever little I could do, to be the best version of myself, that's what I did. I couldn't do much, physically, due to my health, but I tried doing the best I could. I stopped telling myself I wasn't good enough, and all the other negative things you could imagine. I had to give myself a break, and NOT compare myself to anyone else who was fit and fabulous! Because I'd always be on the losing end of that, and it was not a fair comparison. I had to stop blaming myself. I had to stop blaming others. I had to learn to accept my limitations, and only be better at what I was able to. It took a long time. But, it helped me. I learned to try really hard to be better than 'good enough' for MYSELF. Nobody counts more than you do. Nobody's opinion of you should make you feel not good enough. Your opinion, is all that matters. Then work with the other stuff, like relationships. Was hard, but it can be done. No matter how small the steps you take are. You ARE good enough, you just don't know it, yet. Good luck, and good health to you. ❤❤❤
@@JustDr.S aww that's so kind of you. Thank you for the encouragement. I will try to get back to "wanting" to live life happily instead of focusing so much on my health issues. Thank you 😇
@@violetlove1893 I'm really glad to hear that. I had to do the same, with my health issues. ~hugs~ ❤
@@JustDr.S hugs back at you.
P. S. I just saw your picture and you're beautiful. I'm not gay, but if I see something beautiful, I make sure to let the person know. Sometimes we need to hear it to remind ourselves that we're not the horrible thing others make us feel like. You're no Igor. You're a snow white.
Wonderful examples! Please do talk more about psychoanalysis, it is a neglected theme but so important! Thank you so much!
Dr. Marks! Your video is so good! I love the deep dive.
To stop Projecting:
"Work through your own negative self talk".
Wow...thank you....exactly what I needed to hear before I go to see my therapist with my mom to mend some fences this week. Can you make a video about gastoparesis? Bedtime procrastination?
This video is very helpful to me. Thanks again Dr. Tracey Marks! How about a video about fending off an attack in a healthy and mature way? I don't know how to do this. My mom has Narcisstic Personality Disorder and I've lived into middle age compulsively compliant. I'm becoming my own person later in life.
Yes, I'd like to learn more of this type content. It's fascinating. Plus, projection is really rampant in society and individuals right now.
You are such a gift to the global community. Your professional insight inspires change and understanding to so many of us.
I didnt know that and it's really interesting. Thank you doc :) yes to more about self defense mechanisms content
Great thanks!
I enjoyed this information, and I look forward to more videos explaining terms such as projection. Thanks 🙏🏻
This was very helpful, thank you. I understand this a lot better and I can change this behavior.
Yes! I'd love to hear your thoughts on psychodynamic therapy!
It was a great explanation of projection..we would love explanations of other defense mechanisms
I've just found your channel. Thank you for the "real life" examples you give , it make more easier to understand and relate to another experiences.
re 3:20. This is a gem. Wish more people understood it. Unfortunately people have to be ‘psychologically minded’, in order to grasp this concept. Creating and using ‘positive self-talk’ is vital, as our brain is like a computer which we are constantly re-programming.
I would love to see more videos like this!!!
Wow this is a really good breakdown thx
Clear and v informative. Great job. Thx!!
I love your videos Tracy.
Awesome content,
~Thank you!
Thank you for another informative useful video!
I always wonder how people not notice when they're projecting. It seems like only someone who lacks complete self-reflection would perform such behaviour.
The person is usually convinced that what they believe is correct.
Would love to see/hear more about food as a psychological weapon. Thank you.
Wish you had a radio show segment to put these topics in the ears of listeners in the morning to educate them on mental health
Wow, I learned a lot about my unconscious self. 🤦🏽♀️😟 But so happy to be a Subie to have these great insights👏🏾☺
Thanks for this, I learned a lot!
Great mental health lesson and English lesson.
Dr. Marks, thank you for the videos. They are really helpful. Can you make a video about trauma bonding?
The best. Thank you.