Like a lot of people, I tend to catastrophisize while lying awake at night. I try to remember the wise words of an old girlfriend: "Nothing you think at 3 in the morning is real."
yes , true . but it can be SO hard to convince myself that the world i live in at 3AM isn’t real. i have to constantly tell myself that my thoughts are not the world . it’s hard because i like to believe i’m not stupid so then why isn’t this the real world ? 😞
For over 30 years, I have been in survivor mode because I catastrophize everything. I been told to stop being dramatic, but this was not me stirring up drama. I even would ask my manager at work if we were getting laid off because I was laid off before. I wouldn’t do things, experience life, go places, or pursue my dreams because I just knew, from my past experiences, these endeavors were going to fail. Regardless of what I did or would do, the inevitability was failure. Now I take pride in every effort I make, even if it was a fail. I look for moments I can claim as a victory, no matter how small. This helps to get rid of those catastrophic thoughts. It also reminds me that failures happen in life, but my life is not a failure. 🕉️
What a powerful story! I appreciate you sharing your life experiences and how you are shifting your perspective on what it means to “fail” without taking on the label of “failure.” Who can get through life without some failures? (Or a lot of failures, if we’re really observant 😂…) And how many victories do we just take for granted because we are worried about the failures? You have reminded me today not to define myself by everything that has happened to me or around me in my life (even the things I contributed to with my own actions) but by how I respond to those things and learn from them. ❤ Thank you!
Yes! This is me! To be fair, the world is legitimately catastrophic with random, capricious, arbitrary tragedy that can lurk around any corner. My catastrophisizing is not hallucination, paranoia or a reality-testing problem. I don’t fear being abducted by aliens.
"Whom is my Master? He who decides, what I do or do not like" - Epictetus. Was born into slavery in Ancient Rome, but an admittedly privileged one. "What stands in the way becomes the way" - Marcus Aurelius. "Be water" - Bruce Lee, extremely oversimplified. "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst" - unknown. Often attributed to Aurelius and many more. "Never overly rely on anyone else, for even your own shadow leaves you, in complete darkness" - Ibn Taymiyyah. "Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong" - Churchill.
Some of us have had more adverse lives than others , that can also cause real fear for the future. It's hard to pretend that there are not serious risks in making the wrong move in life when you have no safety net ( Family Wealth or Personal ) . Unfortunately this undermines your confidence , and makes failure unacceptable . That's a lot of pressure , and tends to set you up for anxiety and stress .
So true! Lack of spouse & family for financial or emotional support can make a huge difference. As a sufferer/survivor of depression & anxiety, a lot also depends on your meds, which depends on health ins & income. There's a delicate balance between ↑ good stress for motivation & productivity and ↓ the neg stress/anxiety that overwhelms & causes shutdown mode. The fear of success can be just as debilitating as fear of failure. It's a vicious cycle. I know from exp that criticism vs positive encouragement are also contributing factors. Unfortunately, social isolation has become an epidemic in recent yrs so I'm glad we can share & support each other in this format, at least.
The phrase that always helps me cope with negative thoughts is "real but not true". If I fear that I'm going to die or lose my job, I have to recognize that that is a real fear, and it can happen to anyone. But that doesn't mean it's going to happen, or that if it does, I will not be able to find a healthy way to deal with the situation. The feelings are real, but the worst possible outcome almost never comes true.
This goes hand in hand with hypervigilance which I struggled with a lot myself due to CPTSD. Unfortunately parental influences play a big part in how we can cognitively process information. Highly recommend everyone to do some family history digging
Everything you’ve said resonates with me. Im constantly catastrophizing due to my upbringing and depression. Thank you, Dr. marks. Your videos are my lifeline. ❤
Me as well, I am in my 60's too. I actually felt a bit better after this video from Dr Marks and I hope that it gives you some hope too. I wish you well and I am really sorry that you have suffered so much.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
My ears were ringing lately. I pictured my friends visiting me after they found my brain cancer. After about a week I could say I think this is just my sinuses
My husband is the worst case KING! I am his balance because I HAVE lived in my worst case scenario and I came out the other side stronger than I thought I could be. I infuriate him because I learned to just let him rant and rave and then I calmly question him about how he came to this conclusion (or I just laugh at him which used to infuriate him but now he takes it as a sign to look at the issue from a different perspective) I have been blessed by my trauma because I am closer to God than I have ever been and more grateful for my life.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
Because we are all traumatized, look at what the world has done to us lately. Now we have to look for solutions to cope. I'm constantly in the flight or fight out of the fear of being homeless from poverty because of what they are doing to us... I've never been so insecure... I've never felt so powerless... before all of this I felt strong and vital.
Had problems with my in laws for years. I couldn’t control the constant ruminating and churning angry thoughts. Someone with even worse problems told me that you can’t stop a bird from sitting on your head but you don’t have to let it stay there. This was initially helpful and I expanded on it by stopping and thinking why am I suddenly thinking these things, am I angry at that person right now, etc. It let me just recognize anger, try not to let myself get embroiled in their lives anymore and just move on with life.
Yes! My brain always calculates the worst case scenario without me really being conscious of it. I quit a lot of stuff, because I'm convinced I won't do well at it. This is so me!
I do it !!!!! so if something happens, I've already thought about what I will do or say if/when it happens..being prepared so I can control my words/reactions 🤷🏾♀️
Omg I’ve never felt so understood 😢 I’ve been told that I over think and should just stop reading into things too much. But I can’t help it, it’s second nature for me. Now I know what I’m dealing with and I’ll seek to make my life better by working on it. Thank you Dr. Marks 🙏🏾
Being in presence is powerful. I read Eckhart Tolle the power of now years ago..and am on his latest book. A new earth. But the Ego Is so powerful it loves to return with a vengeance and tell you allsorts of lies...I also read Louise Hay book you can heal your life 10 years ago and I still do her UA-cam meditation vids now. I love her x
I have health anxiety and GAD. I tend to catastrophize a lot and ruminate in fear. Especially when my pulse rate remains high for days on end because of an anxiety attack (yes, I saw a doctor and it's anxiety related, but I can't get good mental health treatment in rural nowhere). So, I've been trying to watch videos in order to deal with these issues and calm myself down.
Thank You for this video. My wife and I live with BPD. This ‘catastrophic thinking’ style is prevalent and we do have trauma. We’re grateful for therapy. Thanks for your dedication and time.😊
Having had some hard losses in our family in the past year, I seem to be experiencing anticipatory grief. Every feeling of love I have is now tainted with that expectation of loss. I’m sure I’m not alone, especially with all the tragic losses to Covid, and this has been very helpful, and timely. Thank you.
I lost my 28 year old son in August and it was extremely sudden and tragic. I find myself looking around thinking everyone in my life is dying. My favorite uncle just died on Jan 2. I’m terrified. I’m going to try some of these techniques.
I have CPTSD. While I was a child I was convinced I would die young. I felt I was simply unlucky and everyone else knew something I didn't. When I had kids, my worries centered around them. I was convinced they would unalive themselves bc I was a bad parent. Therapy helped break me of this belief. It was awful but, I was a great paramedic! 😂 Thinking of the worst-case scenario is vital to saving a life. You have to be prepared and work with urgency to prevent the worst. See, mental illness has its up sides!😅😂😂😂
OMG I am crying like a baby listening to this because this is a huge problem for me and I could never understand what was going on in my head...what I was doing to make it worse. AND you are giving me ideas to break this pattern. Thank you, Dr. Marks, from the bottom of my heart.
As someone who’s Autistic and has ADHD, has had a pattern of rigid, Worst Case Scenario Thinking, and is working to buy a new(er) replacement car with their spouse, this video came into my life at exactly the right time. I’ll be watching it on repeat and practicing the techniques to get more resilient in my thinking and subsequent outlook/behavior! 😊 Thank you for sharing this!! ❤
Since I was born, every time I got up out of one situation, something or someone knocked me down in some horrific way. Eventually, something triggered the catastrophisizing, and everything started to look as if it was the inevitable beginning of the apocalypse where mankind simply kills himself. I lost touch with the fact that we are made of star dust. I forgot that we are in some sort of way, the universe, existing to experience itself from all infinite perspectives... if nothing else. That if we can't see spirituality, that we still have the comfort about the connection of what we are ALL made of. That helps me stop and enjoy the moment. Knowing that my existence is my experience helps keep me here. I hope this helps someone else too.
The Universe has spoken through you Dr. Marks! I am moving this weekend and starting a new job Monday. While these are stressful life events, I am feeling anxious and catastrophizing to the extreme today! Thanks for the video, it was great timing for me.
Thank you Dr. Tracey. Have done this a lot myself and it makes sense because I did go through a family tragedy when I was young where I lost a few of my immediate family members. It’s a hard feeling to shake off. It’s because we’ve seen the worst that can happen and automatically we are confident it can happen again. Thankfully I am improving with this and I thank my husband for his encouragement and support. I still automatically think negatively and worry, but I am aware that this is something I need to work on.
Yes it is a hard tendency to break away from when something traumatic really happened. It's good that you recognize the automatic thinking then you can work on not immediately acting on the auto thinking. All the best to you. 😊❤️
Dr. Marks, you are SO d*** sharp! lol I am currently in treatment both for Bipolar 1 and ADHD and at age 57, although I have experienced seasons of success and contentment, the rest of my life has been a series of train wrecks. As I look to keep moving forward and redefine myself at my current age (while continuing in treatment), I desperately needed to hear this video! You have cleared an enormous amount of fog on a lot of what I'm doing and have been doing basically all of my life. Thanks as always! 👍
I do this all the time. I am always bracing for a storm that typically never comes. One day, a friend said something that opened my eyes. I was in the middle of catastrophizing when he said, "Are you psychic? How do you know that's going to happen?" Now, when I jump to the worse case scenario, I remember his words and try to be optimistic. I also have a habit of ruminating. I curb that behavior by saying, "It's over! Let it go!" Thanks for a great video, Doctor!
I work very hard on preparedness, research, and action plans, but the stress is just too much to manage and I can't afford therapy, and am allergic to the available medications that I formerly used to take. Sometimes my action plans fall through due to things outside my control, only making the situation worse. It's all such a catch 22.
Catastrophic thinking is very tiring. I’ve done this since I was about 5 years old. Now that I’m older if I hear about bad news or anything I begin to imagine I’m next in line for that particular event to happen to me if I’m not very empathetic towards the event. I’m overly empathetic, I feel drained and sometimes it’s too much I just want to sleep. I’ve never gone to therapy before. I love God but I believe I need therapy as well. Many people will think it’s because I don’t trust God but this goes deeper. I can feel paralyzed by fear. I have children and if I leave my children with my mom for her to watch them I call her 30 times to check if they’re fine and nothing has happened to them. I feel anxious on car rides, going out alone for fear of getting kidnapped. This is so overwhelming. 😢😢
I am in a DBT program and your video is my most difficult challenge. My auto button to spiral is definitely working well. Definitely not my best button. It’s hard to practice my Stop button but I do try. Thanks for your videos and the validation they offer.
Thank you, I needed this. My cataphrosizing comes from my failed romantic relationships and the false expectation that future ones will fail too. Therefore, I haven’t even tried pursuing women I’m interested in. Your video helped me recognize that unrealistic pattern in the moment. My thoughts weren’t based on reality, but a warped perception.
This is so helpful! I really need to start practicing this. I've been through one catastrophe after another the past 2 years. I've definitely picked up this habit of thinking, and fell into despair. I've climbed out for the most part. The biggest turn for me was when my dad survived his stroke with minimal damage. I realized how blessed I am despite all the setbacks. I still have some issues I need ironed out but where there's love there's hope.
Dr. Marks. Great video!!!! Unfortunately, this is me to a tee. I will save this video and watch it a few times. Thank you!!!! You couldn't have described me better.
Tracy is absolutely right. The first time I had a mayor depression I had also these heavy hypchondric symptoms . My fantasy was unlimited creating new possible disorders on a daily basis. It was all in from multiple sclerosis, brain tumor, AIDS , Alzheimer etc. and of course all the illnesses the science has't been discovered until now. One day I realized that my thinking was somehow ridiculous because everthing was examined without no result and I stopped hypchondria from one day to another
I catastrophize so much that over the past 10 - 15 years, I have had so many good ideas of wanting to start a Non-profit, write books, publish my poetry, learn to play guitar, learn to drive, be involved in developing programs for the youth in high schools to improve literacy levels in my community etc ...BUT, none of these things have ever seen the light of day because every time I think about them, all I see is how they will all fail, and how disastrous the failure will be, how embarrassing it will be and therefore how I am better off not even starting with any of them. I hate that my mind instinctively conjures up all the things that can go wrong, before even trying to see how well something might turn out. I always prepare for the worst or just avoid everything altogether just to avoid failure. I'm terrified of failure. You can't fail if you never try, right? That's where my mind lives. Safer to not ever try. My heart breaks when I look back at all the opportunities I've missed or let go over the years just because I was convinced that if I tried anything, it just wouldn't work out for me. I'm now 36 and still terrified of trying to start anything. I want to, I wish to...but all I see in my lists of goals and desires for the New Year is how it's all doomed and I will fail and make a fool out of myself by trying. 😞💔
Cognitive distortions almost always are protecting us from facing emotions. Learn how to handle the waves of emotion that hit you, and how to reassess your thinking using logic. Get free from your mind traps. MY THOUGHTS AREN'T ALWAYS MY TRUTH needs to be your mantra.
I am fond of Dr. Marks because she always gives credence to the parts of a thought process that are legitimate. She shows that in almost all cases it isn’t ALL of your thinking in a particular vein that is necessarily wrong, but perhaps just certain parts. Thought processes are a spectrum, and she shows where the line is where you start to cross over between “normal” and areas that can cause trouble for you.
This is my daily life especially in the past 90 days. Ended up being diagnosed with ADHD at 53 years of age, on medical LOA, Severe Anxiety, and lots of therapy. She literally brought up examples of distortions which I unfortunately have embraced over the years.
Yep I still do that when sometimes there’s JP need to. The need to control events especially when you’re childhood was so chaotic.. learning to work through that though - 😊
This is how iv been since I was little. I have always been a worst case scenario thinker. Iv always thought it was just me. N iv had no idk how to change it. Hopefully after this video I can finally start changing it.
Hello Dr. Tracy Mark, you're videos 📹, ❤ if not, all of them resonate with me dearly along with Dr. Ramni, I feel so rejuvenate, I've got excepted into UEI College to study Medical Billing & Coding, evening however, I will continue to stay positive about my thoughts towards my self defenses and keep a level mindfulness. That hard work toward a goal is never-ending. LOL 😊 Thank you for your 📹 OH am a
Overthinking, intrusive thoughts, catastrophizing thoughts... It's getting worse even when I'm doing simple short chores... I miss the time when I was a kid, I might be a loner but at least I'm happy
I had a major meltdown Wednesday about an incident at my apartment complex and feel that eviction is a policy even though the issue with my apartment complex has been dealt with...I almost went to the emergency room over it.... Then I was going to go on a 2 week vacation to Florida on Tuesday but had to cancel because I really scared myself with the Blind Rage about what happened Wednesday and because Airports and Planes can be very stressful I felt it was in my best interest to cancel my vacation.. So I most definitely struggle with this. I definitely need to discuss this with my therapist..
Thank you!!! I find myself always thinking negative and setting myself up for failure only because I thought it was going to happen anyway. But these reminders to change that pattern and see and accept other options I will save my life.
I was having a cup of coffee while watching this, and the way you were guiding us to being connected to the present moment, engaging our senses as well as we can (notice the temperature, the texture, how low in your chest you feel it...), made it possibly the best cup of coffee I've had in a long time! I am in awe at how disconnected or on autopilot I was as I was drinking my coffee, something I do a couple times a day 😮 ps: it's actual coffee - black or sweetened with cane sugar, sometimes, served in a small mug, not the most common american version of it, of milk and sugar/syrups with coffee notes served in huge cups, but I still would benefit from consuming less of it, daily.
been doing for a long time since I was at least 24 and now I'm hard wired to do it and I'm 42 and life is getting really overwhelming. plus, learned helplessness that I learned from this doctor as well.
This whole video describes me to the core. What I have believed is the cause of trauma (which I guess it kind of is) - is this way of thinking. I can’t believe it - my brain has just exploded - the whole video - it has explained things to me that I didnt realise were the cause of catastrophising . I had major health issues as a child, had 2 heart operations and stuff, at 13 my sister was diagnosed with MS and has really struggled with it ever since. My parents and brother also have health problems and I am constantly waiting for another disaster, because that is just what happens to our family. I constantly have nightmares and am very anxious if any of them are a little late to come home or answer a message…. This video just explained everything to me in only a few minutes🤯 - thank you so so much.
Dr. Tracy your videos are a godsend ❤️I have never been able to access therapy due to finical issues but your videos are like free therapy for me. I have learned so much from your videos about negative thought patterns and how to change them. It has helped me so much, thank you for all you do
Writing thoughts down and burn or rid of the paper for not reading again. I am for that with negativity. Mood wellness journal...and therapy like that artistically I keep however
As always, informative and pragmatic video. Recently, I did very bad on two of my exams and got stressed about it because I was expecting so high of me. After seeing the results of the tests, I had only two polarizing opinions. First, I was a stupid that expecting so high of me, though in reality I am like this. Second, this is nothing. Anything like test scores can't describe my full potention. I should just ignore it. Either way, I was missing the importance of the event, which is to learn where I did wrong and how to fix it in the future. Thank you for reminding me of our cognitive distortions.
I’ve been struggling with a lot of these over the past few years, especially rumination. I’ll often ruminate over something that worries me over and over, even if it’s something I’ve worried about a few months ago, because I’m so worried that I’ve missed something in the past.
Great video as always! I have a question: my therapist uses the word “fatalistic” and not “catastrophic.” Are these two states the same or are they different in some way? My rumination is so bad that I simply can’t move forward anymore. And, of course, at bedtime is when my rumination hits its peak. For me this then turns into insomnia because I cannot shut my brain off. The only medication that has any benefit for me is alprazolam. And nowadays it’s difficult to get a psychiatrist to prescribe it. I’ve also tried all the medication in the benzodiazepine family (diazepam, clonazepam, etc.). I’d love to hear your input on this. As always I enjoy your content very much. It’s informative for sure! Paul 🌴☀️🌴
Hi Paul. Fatalistic thinking is similar, it's believing that bad things are inevitable and you have no control over your fate. The outcomes you think are inevitable may not be extremes like they would be with catastrophizing. Most if not all sleeping pills can stop working as you build a tolerance. So the more lasting approach to the nighttime rumination is doing things like worry journaling or meditating to unload some of the thoughts so you don't have to rely on meds to stop the thoughts.
I’ve catastrophised when people start being unpleasant at work. Very hard not to just bail. I found the only way to deal with people is directly take control, establish your intentions and tell their boss that is what you are doing and they (unpleasant person) may react badly, but this is the way you’ve decided to deal with the situation. Either way, you are either out or you turn it around. You will learn alot by turning it around and nothing by bailing.
Wow I didn’t realize I did this. My therapist doesn’t even help. She def could have told me this and I pay out of pocket each week. This video is so helpful! ❤
I do this but it’s not as bad as it used to be, but I don’t mind it much anymore, it has helped me learn to prepare for most outcomes ahead of time. I think of all the ways something can go wrong and ways to fix the problem, all the ways I could get hurt and fix it or make it safer. I’ve had too many bad things happen that could have been avoided if I thought of the possibility of what could have gone wrong ahead of time and prepared for it. Once I started preparing ahead of time for the bad possibilities, people made fun of me until I saved their day by being prepared. It applies to my work now, so when I trained people, I always made sure to give simple explanations and then go over scenarios that may likely happen and how to handle them. I was told all the people I trained were the best employees and were all well prepared for their job and did better than the ones who weren’t.
Like a lot of people, I tend to catastrophisize while lying awake at night. I try to remember the wise words of an old girlfriend: "Nothing you think at 3 in the morning is real."
and the catastrophy won't take place at that very moment.
Lol I’d say often there’s a reason but yeah u shouldn’t carry those thoughts through the rest of your day when u wake up
yes , true . but it can be SO hard to convince myself that the world i live in at 3AM isn’t real. i have to constantly tell myself that my thoughts are not the world . it’s hard because i like to believe i’m not stupid so then why isn’t this the real world ? 😞
I just checked the time
Me, too.😂Then or while I’m doing my hair.🤷♀️😂
"your mind is just marinating in negativity". marvellous definition!
For over 30 years, I have been in survivor mode because I catastrophize everything. I been told to stop being dramatic, but this was not me stirring up drama. I even would ask my manager at work if we were getting laid off because I was laid off before.
I wouldn’t do things, experience life, go places, or pursue my dreams because I just knew, from my past experiences, these endeavors were going to fail. Regardless of what I did or would do, the inevitability was failure.
Now I take pride in every effort I make, even if it was a fail. I look for moments I can claim as a victory, no matter how small. This helps to get rid of those catastrophic thoughts. It also reminds me that failures happen in life, but my life is not a failure. 🕉️
What a powerful story! I appreciate you sharing your life experiences and how you are shifting your perspective on what it means to “fail” without taking on the label of “failure.” Who can get through life without some failures? (Or a lot of failures, if we’re really observant 😂…) And how many victories do we just take for granted because we are worried about the failures?
You have reminded me today not to define myself by everything that has happened to me or around me in my life (even the things I contributed to with my own actions) but by how I respond to those things and learn from them. ❤ Thank you!
@@gnomie2.0 You're welcome. Happy healing!
Thanks for sharing this, I'm going through the same thing. I wish you the best
@@martinvansanten4417 you too! Happy healing ❤️🩹
@@MamaMo2-2 thank you 🙏🏼❤️
Yes! This is me! To be fair, the world is legitimately catastrophic with random, capricious, arbitrary tragedy that can lurk around any corner. My catastrophisizing is not hallucination, paranoia or a reality-testing problem. I don’t fear being abducted by aliens.
Lol, one of my biggest fears as a kid, being abducted by aliens.... Glad I got over that one, mostly, lol....
You are a legend!
"Whom is my Master? He who decides, what I do or do not like" - Epictetus. Was born into slavery in Ancient Rome, but an admittedly privileged one.
"What stands in the way becomes the way" - Marcus Aurelius.
"Be water" - Bruce Lee, extremely oversimplified.
"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst" - unknown. Often attributed to Aurelius and many more.
"Never overly rely on anyone else, for even your own shadow leaves you, in complete darkness" - Ibn Taymiyyah.
"Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong" - Churchill.
OMG TAY!!!
Sounds like somebody who lives in the city. Hey you're the guy from T'osh.0
Some of us have had more adverse lives than others , that can also cause real fear for the future. It's hard to pretend that there are not serious risks in making the wrong move in life when you have no safety net ( Family Wealth or Personal ) . Unfortunately this undermines your confidence , and makes failure unacceptable . That's a lot of pressure , and tends to set you up for anxiety and stress .
I feel like the irony is that the stress can often cause you to 'mess things up' more
What an enlightening comment. This is a great description of why I tend to stay in the survival mode.
This is so true! One wrong decision and you could be on the streets and possibly die from starvation or an illness.
That’s me. Growing up poor and not having a safety net does a number on your mental health.
So true! Lack of spouse & family for financial or emotional support can make a huge difference. As a sufferer/survivor of depression & anxiety, a lot also depends on your meds, which depends on health ins & income. There's a delicate balance between ↑ good stress for motivation & productivity and ↓ the neg stress/anxiety that overwhelms & causes shutdown mode. The fear of success can be just as debilitating as fear of failure. It's a vicious cycle. I know from exp that criticism vs positive encouragement are also contributing factors. Unfortunately, social isolation has become an epidemic in recent yrs so I'm glad we can share & support each other in this format, at least.
The phrase that always helps me cope with negative thoughts is "real but not true". If I fear that I'm going to die or lose my job, I have to recognize that that is a real fear, and it can happen to anyone. But that doesn't mean it's going to happen, or that if it does, I will not be able to find a healthy way to deal with the situation. The feelings are real, but the worst possible outcome almost never comes true.
This goes hand in hand with hypervigilance which I struggled with a lot myself due to CPTSD. Unfortunately parental influences play a big part in how we can cognitively process information. Highly recommend everyone to do some family history digging
Everything you’ve said resonates with me. Im constantly catastrophizing due to my upbringing and depression. Thank you, Dr. marks. Your videos are my lifeline. ❤
I'm so glad they are helping you! ❤️
@DrTraceyMarks in todays world, it isnt that hard to catastrophize.
@@DrTraceyMarkssee above
Feels like I have ALWAYS been in this mindset... and in survival mode. I'm 65.
Same here. It sucks, I'm 37
Me as well, I am in my 60's too. I actually felt a bit better after this video from Dr Marks and I hope that it gives you some hope too. I wish you well and I am really sorry that you have suffered so much.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
I can relate to this. It’s like I’m too scared to be optimistic because I don’t want to be let down
Health anxiety. A pain turns into cancer etc.
This is me
Definitely me
My ears were ringing lately. I pictured my friends visiting me after they found my brain cancer. After about a week I could say I think this is just my sinuses
I was just talking yesterday about how I tend to catastrophize and how hard it is not to. Thank you for this.
My husband is the worst case KING! I am his balance because I HAVE lived in my worst case scenario and I came out the other side stronger than I thought I could be. I infuriate him because I learned to just let him rant and rave and then I calmly question him about how he came to this conclusion (or I just laugh at him which used to infuriate him but now he takes it as a sign to look at the issue from a different perspective)
I have been blessed by my trauma because I am closer to God than I have ever been and more grateful for my life.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
Laughing at him is not loving.
Because we are all traumatized, look at what the world has done to us lately. Now we have to look for solutions to cope. I'm constantly in the flight or fight out of the fear of being homeless from poverty because of what they are doing to us... I've never been so insecure... I've never felt so powerless... before all of this I felt strong and vital.
Had problems with my in laws for years. I couldn’t control the constant ruminating and churning angry thoughts. Someone with even worse problems told me that you can’t stop a bird from sitting on your head but you don’t have to let it stay there. This was initially helpful and I expanded on it by stopping and thinking why am I suddenly thinking these things, am I angry at that person right now, etc. It let me just recognize anger, try not to let myself get embroiled in their lives anymore and just move on with life.
Thank you for providing these great videos for those of us who cant afford to pay $200 an hour for a therapist.
Yes! My brain always calculates the worst case scenario without me really being conscious of it. I quit a lot of stuff, because I'm convinced I won't do well at it. This is so me!
I do it !!!!! so if something happens, I've already thought about what I will do or say if/when it happens..being prepared so I can control my words/reactions 🤷🏾♀️
Omg I’ve never felt so understood 😢 I’ve been told that I over think and should just stop reading into things too much. But I can’t help it, it’s second nature for me. Now I know what I’m dealing with and I’ll seek to make my life better by working on it. Thank you Dr. Marks 🙏🏾
I wish you made videos 15 years ago. Thank you for what you do. You're videos are truly a gift for both children and adults.
Being in presence is powerful. I read Eckhart Tolle the power of now years ago..and am on his latest book. A new earth. But the Ego Is so powerful it loves to return with a vengeance and tell you allsorts of lies...I also read Louise Hay book you can heal your life 10 years ago and I still do her UA-cam meditation vids now. I love her x
I find this quite true with ocd and intrusive thoughts. The absolute worst thoughts at the least expected time. It’s like constantly on repeat
I have health anxiety and GAD. I tend to catastrophize a lot and ruminate in fear. Especially when my pulse rate remains high for days on end because of an anxiety attack (yes, I saw a doctor and it's anxiety related, but I can't get good mental health treatment in rural nowhere). So, I've been trying to watch videos in order to deal with these issues and calm myself down.
Me too
Thank You for this video. My wife and I live with BPD. This ‘catastrophic thinking’ style is prevalent and we do have trauma. We’re grateful for therapy. Thanks for your dedication and time.😊
Having had some hard losses in our family in the past year, I seem to be experiencing anticipatory grief. Every feeling of love I have is now tainted with that expectation of loss. I’m sure I’m not alone, especially with all the tragic losses to Covid, and this has been very helpful, and timely. Thank you.
You are not alone
I lost my 28 year old son in August and it was extremely sudden and tragic. I find myself looking around thinking everyone in my life is dying. My favorite uncle just died on Jan 2. I’m terrified. I’m going to try some of these techniques.
Sending you healing and love. So sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss..
Sending you a hug and love, ❤
I am really sorry. Love and prayers
That's so very sad,
“I’m just always anxious” that’s me :(
Same 😢
I have CPTSD. While I was a child I was convinced I would die young. I felt I was simply unlucky and everyone else knew something I didn't. When I had kids, my worries centered around them. I was convinced they would unalive themselves bc I was a bad parent. Therapy helped break me of this belief. It was awful but, I was a great paramedic! 😂 Thinking of the worst-case scenario is vital to saving a life. You have to be prepared and work with urgency to prevent the worst. See, mental illness has its up sides!😅😂😂😂
Seems in your case, it's a way to save them from getting to a worst case scenario
So you feel 100% better now? You described me
OMG I am crying like a baby listening to this because this is a huge problem for me and I could never understand what was going on in my head...what I was doing to make it worse. AND you are giving me ideas to break this pattern. Thank you, Dr. Marks, from the bottom of my heart.
As someone who’s Autistic and has ADHD, has had a pattern of rigid, Worst Case Scenario Thinking, and is working to buy a new(er) replacement car with their spouse, this video came into my life at exactly the right time.
I’ll be watching it on repeat and practicing the techniques to get more resilient in my thinking and subsequent outlook/behavior! 😊
Thank you for sharing this!! ❤
You're so welcome Rachel!
@@DrTraceyMarks Please keep making your videos! I find them very helpful!!
Hi fellow AuDHD'er
Since I was born, every time I got up out of one situation, something or someone knocked me down in some horrific way. Eventually, something triggered the catastrophisizing, and everything started to look as if it was the inevitable beginning of the apocalypse where mankind simply kills himself. I lost touch with the fact that we are made of star dust. I forgot that we are in some sort of way, the universe, existing to experience itself from all infinite perspectives... if nothing else. That if we can't see spirituality, that we still have the comfort about the connection of what we are ALL made of. That helps me stop and enjoy the moment. Knowing that my existence is my experience helps keep me here. I hope this helps someone else too.
Oh my God, I would pay any price to have one session with this incredible therapist!
The Universe has spoken through you Dr. Marks! I am moving this weekend and starting a new job Monday. While these are stressful life events, I am feeling anxious and catastrophizing to the extreme today! Thanks for the video, it was great timing for me.
Good luck and congratulations Jonathan
Good luck, Jonathan
Thank you Dr. Tracey. Have done this a lot myself and it makes sense because I did go through a family tragedy when I was young where I lost a few of my immediate family members. It’s a hard feeling to shake off. It’s because we’ve seen the worst that can happen and automatically we are confident it can happen again. Thankfully I am improving with this and I thank my husband for his encouragement and support. I still automatically think negatively and worry, but I am aware that this is something I need to work on.
Yes it is a hard tendency to break away from when something traumatic really happened. It's good that you recognize the automatic thinking then you can work on not immediately acting on the auto thinking. All the best to you. 😊❤️
Dr. Marks, you are SO d*** sharp! lol I am currently in treatment both for Bipolar 1 and ADHD and at age 57, although I have experienced seasons of success and contentment, the rest of my life has been a series of train wrecks. As I look to keep moving forward and redefine myself at my current age (while continuing in treatment), I desperately needed to hear this video! You have cleared an enormous amount of fog on a lot of what I'm doing and have been doing basically all of my life. Thanks as always! 👍
You are one of the most easy to understand professionals I have encountered on here.
I have OCD and I think this'll be helpful for the most part!
That's great!
I do this all the time. I am always bracing for a storm that typically never comes. One day, a friend said something that opened my eyes. I was in the middle of catastrophizing when he said, "Are you psychic? How do you know that's going to happen?" Now, when I jump to the worse case scenario, I remember his words and try to be optimistic. I also have a habit of ruminating. I curb that behavior by saying, "It's over! Let it go!"
Thanks for a great video, Doctor!
This video came at a perfect moment, thank you so much, doc!
You're very welcome!
Ive lost so many close loved ones in the past 5 years I definitely feel that's where it started with me. Thank you for this video.
I do this. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
Tracey is the BEST.
I work very hard on preparedness, research, and action plans, but the stress is just too much to manage and I can't afford therapy, and am allergic to the available medications that I formerly used to take. Sometimes my action plans fall through due to things outside my control, only making the situation worse. It's all such a catch 22.
This is my entire life. I hate it but it’s kept my head above water over the years. The thing is it sometimes makes me try a lot harder.
I've been looking for a clear and concise video on this topic that I could share with students. This is it. Thank you.
Thank you Dr. Marks, I needed this today.
Catastrophic thinking is very tiring. I’ve done this since I was about 5 years old. Now that I’m older if I hear about bad news or anything I begin to imagine I’m next in line for that particular event to happen to me if I’m not very empathetic towards the event. I’m overly empathetic, I feel drained and sometimes it’s too much I just want to sleep. I’ve never gone to therapy before. I love God but I believe I need therapy as well. Many people will think it’s because I don’t trust God but this goes deeper. I can feel paralyzed by fear. I have children and if I leave my children with my mom for her to watch them I call her 30 times to check if they’re fine and nothing has happened to them. I feel anxious on car rides, going out alone for fear of getting kidnapped. This is so overwhelming. 😢😢
Yes it is. I haven been like this too since I was a little girl too. I am a grandma now. 😢
@@moriahpalmas5264 Praying for you 🙏❤️
Wow! This is so on time. I needed to hear this. I was getting ready to go into this mode with a recent custody threat.
Thanks for pointing out the difference between planning and catastrophizing.
This is the best video I've found on this topic.
Now I know why I have a panic attack every time there's a storm!!!
I am in a DBT program and your video is my most difficult challenge. My auto button to spiral is definitely working well. Definitely not my best button. It’s hard to practice my Stop button but I do try.
Thanks for your videos and the validation they offer.
Thank you, I needed this. My cataphrosizing comes from my failed romantic relationships and the false expectation that future ones will fail too. Therefore, I haven’t even tried pursuing women I’m interested in. Your video helped me recognize that unrealistic pattern in the moment. My thoughts weren’t based on reality, but a warped perception.
This is so helpful! I really need to start practicing this. I've been through one catastrophe after another the past 2 years. I've definitely picked up this habit of thinking, and fell into despair. I've climbed out for the most part. The biggest turn for me was when my dad survived his stroke with minimal damage. I realized how blessed I am despite all the setbacks. I still have some issues I need ironed out but where there's love there's hope.
I soo needed this video today, its the ruminating that gets me.. Thanks for the tools, staying present and writing feelings down. I will use them.
Dr. Marks. Great video!!!! Unfortunately, this is me to a tee.
I will save this video and watch it a few times. Thank you!!!! You couldn't have described me better.
Tracy is absolutely right. The first time I had a mayor depression I had also these heavy hypchondric symptoms . My fantasy was unlimited creating new possible disorders on a daily basis. It was all in from multiple sclerosis, brain tumor, AIDS , Alzheimer etc. and of course all the illnesses the science has't been discovered until now. One day I realized that my thinking was somehow ridiculous because everthing was examined without no result and I stopped hypchondria from one day to another
I catastrophize so much that over the past 10 - 15 years, I have had so many good ideas of wanting to start a Non-profit, write books, publish my poetry, learn to play guitar, learn to drive, be involved in developing programs for the youth in high schools to improve literacy levels in my community etc ...BUT, none of these things have ever seen the light of day because every time I think about them, all I see is how they will all fail, and how disastrous the failure will be, how embarrassing it will be and therefore how I am better off not even starting with any of them.
I hate that my mind instinctively conjures up all the things that can go wrong, before even trying to see how well something might turn out. I always prepare for the worst or just avoid everything altogether just to avoid failure. I'm terrified of failure.
You can't fail if you never try, right? That's where my mind lives. Safer to not ever try.
My heart breaks when I look back at all the opportunities I've missed or let go over the years just because I was convinced that if I tried anything, it just wouldn't work out for me. I'm now 36 and still terrified of trying to start anything. I want to, I wish to...but all I see in my lists of goals and desires for the New Year is how it's all doomed and I will fail and make a fool out of myself by trying. 😞💔
I’m sorry.
Grounding meditation has helped me stop this thinking ❤❤
Cognitive distortions almost always are protecting us from facing emotions. Learn how to handle the waves of emotion that hit you, and how to reassess your thinking using logic. Get free from your mind traps. MY THOUGHTS AREN'T ALWAYS MY TRUTH needs to be your mantra.
False evidence appearing real,remember that cathy
Can you please talk about the new research suggesting that depression is not caused by low serotonin levels
I am fond of Dr. Marks because she always gives credence to the parts of a thought process that are legitimate. She shows that in almost all cases it isn’t ALL of your thinking in a particular vein that is necessarily wrong, but perhaps just certain parts. Thought processes are a spectrum, and she shows where the line is where you start to cross over between “normal” and areas that can cause trouble for you.
I'm going to try journaling.. 💕✨️
This is my daily life especially in the past 90 days. Ended up being diagnosed with ADHD at 53 years of age, on medical LOA, Severe Anxiety, and lots of therapy. She literally brought up examples of distortions which I unfortunately have embraced over the years.
Yep I still do that when sometimes there’s JP need to. The need to control events especially when you’re childhood was so chaotic.. learning to work through that though - 😊
This is how iv been since I was little. I have always been a worst case scenario thinker. Iv always thought it was just me. N iv had no idk how to change it. Hopefully after this video I can finally start changing it.
Hello Dr. Tracy Mark, you're videos 📹, ❤ if not, all of them resonate with me dearly along with Dr. Ramni, I feel so rejuvenate, I've got excepted into UEI College to study Medical Billing & Coding, evening however, I will continue to stay positive about my thoughts towards my self defenses and keep a level mindfulness. That hard work toward a goal is never-ending. LOL 😊 Thank you for your 📹 OH am a
Overthinking, intrusive thoughts, catastrophizing thoughts... It's getting worse even when I'm doing simple short chores... I miss the time when I was a kid, I might be a loner but at least I'm happy
I had a major meltdown Wednesday about an incident at my apartment complex and feel that eviction is a policy even though the issue with my apartment complex has been dealt with...I almost went to the emergency room over it.... Then I was going to go on a 2 week vacation to Florida on Tuesday but had to cancel because I really scared myself with the Blind Rage about what happened Wednesday and because Airports and Planes can be very stressful I felt it was in my best interest to cancel my vacation.. So I most definitely struggle with this. I definitely need to discuss this with my therapist..
I absolutely hate airports!
Thank you Dr. I'm living with bipolar disorder.. your videos are very helpful. 🤍
Your videos are so helpful. Bless you and the work you do. Honestly.
Thank you!!! I find myself always thinking negative and setting myself up for failure only because I thought it was going to happen anyway. But these reminders to change that pattern and see and accept other options I will save my life.
Greetings from Ghana... seriously, WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME???!!
Some of my college professor's were "PhD"s'. I now appreciate the details packed into these lessons, unlike before. Thanks Dr. Marks and Company.
Wow, thanks for making this video. I've got real bad about doing this over the last few years & it's cool to hear it explained. I love all ur videos!
I was having a cup of coffee while watching this, and the way you were guiding us to being connected to the present moment, engaging our senses as well as we can (notice the temperature, the texture, how low in your chest you feel it...), made it possibly the best cup of coffee I've had in a long time! I am in awe at how disconnected or on autopilot I was as I was drinking my coffee, something I do a couple times a day 😮 ps: it's actual coffee - black or sweetened with cane sugar, sometimes, served in a small mug, not the most common american version of it, of milk and sugar/syrups with coffee notes served in huge cups, but I still would benefit from consuming less of it, daily.
I recognise some of my personal traits here. I will keep up the work of recovery. Thank you Dr. Tracey Marks 😊
I’m so glad you made this video this is definitely ME. I have bipolar disorder, OCD and anxiety disorder
I swear you know me. Lol 😆 I guess a lot of other people deal with this too. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one . Thx for the video
This was very Helpful and informative. Thank you so much for some great techniques to help. ❤ 🙏
NGL - “Catastrophizing” is such a cool word!
Just a shame it adversely affects many people.
been doing for a long time since I was at least 24 and now I'm hard wired to do it and I'm 42 and life is getting really overwhelming. plus, learned helplessness that I learned from this doctor as well.
This whole video describes me to the core. What I have believed is the cause of trauma (which I guess it kind of is) - is this way of thinking. I can’t believe it - my brain has just exploded - the whole video - it has explained things to me that I didnt realise were the cause of catastrophising . I had major health issues as a child, had 2 heart operations and stuff, at 13 my sister was diagnosed with MS and has really struggled with it ever since. My parents and brother also have health problems and I am constantly waiting for another disaster, because that is just what happens to our family. I constantly have nightmares and am very anxious if any of them are a little late to come home or answer a message…. This video just explained everything to me in only a few minutes🤯 - thank you so so much.
Dr. Tracy your videos are a godsend ❤️I have never been able to access therapy due to finical issues but your videos are like free therapy for me. I have learned so much from your videos about negative thought patterns and how to change them. It has helped me so much, thank you for all you do
Writing thoughts down and burn or rid of the paper for not reading again. I am for that with negativity.
Mood wellness journal...and therapy like that artistically I keep however
Thank you so much for this. This came right on time.
Learning so much from you. Thank you! I do it as a learned behavior from my mom. I TRY not to do it. lol.
Thank you for this video.
As always, informative and pragmatic video. Recently, I did very bad on two of my exams and got stressed about it because I was expecting so high of me. After seeing the results of the tests, I had only two polarizing opinions. First, I was a stupid that expecting so high of me, though in reality I am like this. Second, this is nothing. Anything like test scores can't describe my full potention. I should just ignore it. Either way, I was missing the importance of the event, which is to learn where I did wrong and how to fix it in the future. Thank you for reminding me of our cognitive distortions.
Excellent, thank you.
I would like some more information on prompts and mindfulness.
I’ve been struggling with a lot of these over the past few years, especially rumination. I’ll often ruminate over something that worries me over and over, even if it’s something I’ve worried about a few months ago, because I’m so worried that I’ve missed something in the past.
Great video as always!
I have a question: my therapist uses the word “fatalistic” and not “catastrophic.” Are these two states the same or are they different in some way?
My rumination is so bad that I simply can’t move forward anymore. And, of course, at bedtime is when my rumination hits its peak. For me this then turns into insomnia because I cannot shut my brain off.
The only medication that has any benefit for me is alprazolam. And nowadays it’s difficult to get a psychiatrist to prescribe it. I’ve also tried all the medication in the benzodiazepine family (diazepam, clonazepam, etc.).
I’d love to hear your input on this. As always I enjoy your content very much. It’s informative for sure!
Paul
🌴☀️🌴
Hi Paul. Fatalistic thinking is similar, it's believing that bad things are inevitable and you have no control over your fate. The outcomes you think are inevitable may not be extremes like they would be with catastrophizing. Most if not all sleeping pills can stop working as you build a tolerance. So the more lasting approach to the nighttime rumination is doing things like worry journaling or meditating to unload some of the thoughts so you don't have to rely on meds to stop the thoughts.
@@DrTraceyMarks Thank you for clarifying this and taking time out of your busy day to reply.
🌴☀️🌴
I've always expect the wrorst case scenarios so the pain of them won't hurt as much.
This is excellent! I’ve used some of these techniques but hearing you go through them in a very practical way is very helpful. Thank you.
I’ve catastrophised when people start being unpleasant at work. Very hard not to just bail. I found the only way to deal with people is directly take control, establish your intentions and tell their boss that is what you are doing and they (unpleasant person) may react badly, but this is the way you’ve decided to deal with the situation. Either way, you are either out or you turn it around. You will learn alot by turning it around and nothing by bailing.
Wow I didn’t realize I did this. My therapist doesn’t even help. She def could have told me this and I pay out of pocket each week. This video is so helpful! ❤
Amazing video. Thank you for sharing. I am hopeful now that things can be better for me.
HOW COMMON IS THIS? JUST CURIOUS...
Very common especially if you grew up in a traumatic situation it takes years to heal and recover
I do this but it’s not as bad as it used to be, but I don’t mind it much anymore, it has helped me learn to prepare for most outcomes ahead of time.
I think of all the ways something can go wrong and ways to fix the problem, all the ways I could get hurt and fix it or make it safer.
I’ve had too many bad things happen that could have been avoided if I thought of the possibility of what could have gone wrong ahead of time and prepared for it.
Once I started preparing ahead of time for the bad possibilities, people made fun of me until I saved their day by being prepared.
It applies to my work now, so when I trained people, I always made sure to give simple explanations and then go over scenarios that may likely happen and how to handle them.
I was told all the people I trained were the best employees and were all well prepared for their job and did better than the ones who weren’t.
hi doc great video as usual
can you talk about more prompts for cognitive restructuring when it comes to anxiety (social anxiety in particular)
This has been a longtime difficulty for me alongside my health anxiety, it’s so exhausting