Like a lot of people, I tend to catastrophisize while lying awake at night. I try to remember the wise words of an old girlfriend: "Nothing you think at 3 in the morning is real."
yes , true . but it can be SO hard to convince myself that the world i live in at 3AM isn’t real. i have to constantly tell myself that my thoughts are not the world . it’s hard because i like to believe i’m not stupid so then why isn’t this the real world ? 😞
For over 30 years, I have been in survivor mode because I catastrophize everything. I been told to stop being dramatic, but this was not me stirring up drama. I even would ask my manager at work if we were getting laid off because I was laid off before. I wouldn’t do things, experience life, go places, or pursue my dreams because I just knew, from my past experiences, these endeavors were going to fail. Regardless of what I did or would do, the inevitability was failure. Now I take pride in every effort I make, even if it was a fail. I look for moments I can claim as a victory, no matter how small. This helps to get rid of those catastrophic thoughts. It also reminds me that failures happen in life, but my life is not a failure. 🕉️
What a powerful story! I appreciate you sharing your life experiences and how you are shifting your perspective on what it means to “fail” without taking on the label of “failure.” Who can get through life without some failures? (Or a lot of failures, if we’re really observant 😂…) And how many victories do we just take for granted because we are worried about the failures? You have reminded me today not to define myself by everything that has happened to me or around me in my life (even the things I contributed to with my own actions) but by how I respond to those things and learn from them. ❤ Thank you!
Yes! This is me! To be fair, the world is legitimately catastrophic with random, capricious, arbitrary tragedy that can lurk around any corner. My catastrophisizing is not hallucination, paranoia or a reality-testing problem. I don’t fear being abducted by aliens.
"Whom is my Master? He who decides, what I do or do not like" - Epictetus. Was born into slavery in Ancient Rome, but an admittedly privileged one. "What stands in the way becomes the way" - Marcus Aurelius. "Be water" - Bruce Lee, extremely oversimplified. "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst" - unknown. Often attributed to Aurelius and many more. "Never overly rely on anyone else, for even your own shadow leaves you, in complete darkness" - Ibn Taymiyyah. "Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong" - Churchill.
Some of us have had more adverse lives than others , that can also cause real fear for the future. It's hard to pretend that there are not serious risks in making the wrong move in life when you have no safety net ( Family Wealth or Personal ) . Unfortunately this undermines your confidence , and makes failure unacceptable . That's a lot of pressure , and tends to set you up for anxiety and stress .
So true! Lack of spouse & family for financial or emotional support can make a huge difference. As a sufferer/survivor of depression & anxiety, a lot also depends on your meds, which depends on health ins & income. There's a delicate balance between ↑ good stress for motivation & productivity and ↓ the neg stress/anxiety that overwhelms & causes shutdown mode. The fear of success can be just as debilitating as fear of failure. It's a vicious cycle. I know from exp that criticism vs positive encouragement are also contributing factors. Unfortunately, social isolation has become an epidemic in recent yrs so I'm glad we can share & support each other in this format, at least.
The phrase that always helps me cope with negative thoughts is "real but not true". If I fear that I'm going to die or lose my job, I have to recognize that that is a real fear, and it can happen to anyone. But that doesn't mean it's going to happen, or that if it does, I will not be able to find a healthy way to deal with the situation. The feelings are real, but the worst possible outcome almost never comes true.
Everything you’ve said resonates with me. Im constantly catastrophizing due to my upbringing and depression. Thank you, Dr. marks. Your videos are my lifeline. ❤
Me as well, I am in my 60's too. I actually felt a bit better after this video from Dr Marks and I hope that it gives you some hope too. I wish you well and I am really sorry that you have suffered so much.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
This goes hand in hand with hypervigilance which I struggled with a lot myself due to CPTSD. Unfortunately parental influences play a big part in how we can cognitively process information. Highly recommend everyone to do some family history digging
My husband is the worst case KING! I am his balance because I HAVE lived in my worst case scenario and I came out the other side stronger than I thought I could be. I infuriate him because I learned to just let him rant and rave and then I calmly question him about how he came to this conclusion (or I just laugh at him which used to infuriate him but now he takes it as a sign to look at the issue from a different perspective) I have been blessed by my trauma because I am closer to God than I have ever been and more grateful for my life.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
I lost my 28 year old son in August and it was extremely sudden and tragic. I find myself looking around thinking everyone in my life is dying. My favorite uncle just died on Jan 2. I’m terrified. I’m going to try some of these techniques.
Had problems with my in laws for years. I couldn’t control the constant ruminating and churning angry thoughts. Someone with even worse problems told me that you can’t stop a bird from sitting on your head but you don’t have to let it stay there. This was initially helpful and I expanded on it by stopping and thinking why am I suddenly thinking these things, am I angry at that person right now, etc. It let me just recognize anger, try not to let myself get embroiled in their lives anymore and just move on with life.
Having had some hard losses in our family in the past year, I seem to be experiencing anticipatory grief. Every feeling of love I have is now tainted with that expectation of loss. I’m sure I’m not alone, especially with all the tragic losses to Covid, and this has been very helpful, and timely. Thank you.
Because we are all traumatized, look at what the world has done to us lately. Now we have to look for solutions to cope. I'm constantly in the flight or fight out of the fear of being homeless from poverty because of what they are doing to us... I've never been so insecure... I've never felt so powerless... before all of this I felt strong and vital.
As someone who’s Autistic and has ADHD, has had a pattern of rigid, Worst Case Scenario Thinking, and is working to buy a new(er) replacement car with their spouse, this video came into my life at exactly the right time. I’ll be watching it on repeat and practicing the techniques to get more resilient in my thinking and subsequent outlook/behavior! 😊 Thank you for sharing this!! ❤
I have CPTSD. While I was a child I was convinced I would die young. I felt I was simply unlucky and everyone else knew something I didn't. When I had kids, my worries centered around them. I was convinced they would unalive themselves bc I was a bad parent. Therapy helped break me of this belief. It was awful but, I was a great paramedic! 😂 Thinking of the worst-case scenario is vital to saving a life. You have to be prepared and work with urgency to prevent the worst. See, mental illness has its up sides!😅😂😂😂
Yes! My brain always calculates the worst case scenario without me really being conscious of it. I quit a lot of stuff, because I'm convinced I won't do well at it. This is so me!
Thank You for this video. My wife and I live with BPD. This ‘catastrophic thinking’ style is prevalent and we do have trauma. We’re grateful for therapy. Thanks for your dedication and time.😊
OMG I am crying like a baby listening to this because this is a huge problem for me and I could never understand what was going on in my head...what I was doing to make it worse. AND you are giving me ideas to break this pattern. Thank you, Dr. Marks, from the bottom of my heart.
I have health anxiety and GAD. I tend to catastrophize a lot and ruminate in fear. Especially when my pulse rate remains high for days on end because of an anxiety attack (yes, I saw a doctor and it's anxiety related, but I can't get good mental health treatment in rural nowhere). So, I've been trying to watch videos in order to deal with these issues and calm myself down.
The Universe has spoken through you Dr. Marks! I am moving this weekend and starting a new job Monday. While these are stressful life events, I am feeling anxious and catastrophizing to the extreme today! Thanks for the video, it was great timing for me.
Omg I’ve never felt so understood 😢 I’ve been told that I over think and should just stop reading into things too much. But I can’t help it, it’s second nature for me. Now I know what I’m dealing with and I’ll seek to make my life better by working on it. Thank you Dr. Marks 🙏🏾
Thank you Dr. Tracey. Have done this a lot myself and it makes sense because I did go through a family tragedy when I was young where I lost a few of my immediate family members. It’s a hard feeling to shake off. It’s because we’ve seen the worst that can happen and automatically we are confident it can happen again. Thankfully I am improving with this and I thank my husband for his encouragement and support. I still automatically think negatively and worry, but I am aware that this is something I need to work on.
Yes it is a hard tendency to break away from when something traumatic really happened. It's good that you recognize the automatic thinking then you can work on not immediately acting on the auto thinking. All the best to you. 😊❤️
I do this all the time. I am always bracing for a storm that typically never comes. One day, a friend said something that opened my eyes. I was in the middle of catastrophizing when he said, "Are you psychic? How do you know that's going to happen?" Now, when I jump to the worse case scenario, I remember his words and try to be optimistic. I also have a habit of ruminating. I curb that behavior by saying, "It's over! Let it go!" Thanks for a great video, Doctor!
Another great video♥️. Our family of origin in any past trauma we experienced affects the way we view the world and ourselves. Journaling and reframing can be so helpful .
Dr. Marks, you are SO d*** sharp! lol I am currently in treatment both for Bipolar 1 and ADHD and at age 57, although I have experienced seasons of success and contentment, the rest of my life has been a series of train wrecks. As I look to keep moving forward and redefine myself at my current age (while continuing in treatment), I desperately needed to hear this video! You have cleared an enormous amount of fog on a lot of what I'm doing and have been doing basically all of my life. Thanks as always! 👍
I tend to do this a lot. I think of the absolute worst outcome in situations. Sometimes I can catch them after years of counseling. I try to walk myself through the steps. It’s hard but sometimes it helps me calm down.
Catastrophic thinking is very tiring. I’ve done this since I was about 5 years old. Now that I’m older if I hear about bad news or anything I begin to imagine I’m next in line for that particular event to happen to me if I’m not very empathetic towards the event. I’m overly empathetic, I feel drained and sometimes it’s too much I just want to sleep. I’ve never gone to therapy before. I love God but I believe I need therapy as well. Many people will think it’s because I don’t trust God but this goes deeper. I can feel paralyzed by fear. I have children and if I leave my children with my mom for her to watch them I call her 30 times to check if they’re fine and nothing has happened to them. I feel anxious on car rides, going out alone for fear of getting kidnapped. This is so overwhelming. 😢😢
I catastrophize so much that over the past 10 - 15 years, I have had so many good ideas of wanting to start a Non-profit, write books, publish my poetry, learn to play guitar, learn to drive, be involved in developing programs for the youth in high schools to improve literacy levels in my community etc ...BUT, none of these things have ever seen the light of day because every time I think about them, all I see is how they will all fail, and how disastrous the failure will be, how embarrassing it will be and therefore how I am better off not even starting with any of them. I hate that my mind instinctively conjures up all the things that can go wrong, before even trying to see how well something might turn out. I always prepare for the worst or just avoid everything altogether just to avoid failure. I'm terrified of failure. You can't fail if you never try, right? That's where my mind lives. Safer to not ever try. My heart breaks when I look back at all the opportunities I've missed or let go over the years just because I was convinced that if I tried anything, it just wouldn't work out for me. I'm now 36 and still terrified of trying to start anything. I want to, I wish to...but all I see in my lists of goals and desires for the New Year is how it's all doomed and I will fail and make a fool out of myself by trying. 😞💔
I do it !!!!! so if something happens, I've already thought about what I will do or say if/when it happens..being prepared so I can control my words/reactions 🤷🏾♀️
Being in presence is powerful. I read Eckhart Tolle the power of now years ago..and am on his latest book. A new earth. But the Ego Is so powerful it loves to return with a vengeance and tell you allsorts of lies...I also read Louise Hay book you can heal your life 10 years ago and I still do her UA-cam meditation vids now. I love her x
Since I was born, every time I got up out of one situation, something or someone knocked me down in some horrific way. Eventually, something triggered the catastrophisizing, and everything started to look as if it was the inevitable beginning of the apocalypse where mankind simply kills himself. I lost touch with the fact that we are made of star dust. I forgot that we are in some sort of way, the universe, existing to experience itself from all infinite perspectives... if nothing else. That if we can't see spirituality, that we still have the comfort about the connection of what we are ALL made of. That helps me stop and enjoy the moment. Knowing that my existence is my experience helps keep me here. I hope this helps someone else too.
Cognitive distortions almost always are protecting us from facing emotions. Learn how to handle the waves of emotion that hit you, and how to reassess your thinking using logic. Get free from your mind traps. MY THOUGHTS AREN'T ALWAYS MY TRUTH needs to be your mantra.
Finding this channel has helped me a ton. During downtime at work, scrolling through UA-cam, I see these videos pop up in my recommended. It's always a nice to have reminders ❤
Tracy is absolutely right. The first time I had a mayor depression I had also these heavy hypchondric symptoms . My fantasy was unlimited creating new possible disorders on a daily basis. It was all in from multiple sclerosis, brain tumor, AIDS , Alzheimer etc. and of course all the illnesses the science has't been discovered until now. One day I realized that my thinking was somehow ridiculous because everthing was examined without no result and I stopped hypchondria from one day to another
This is so helpful! I really need to start practicing this. I've been through one catastrophe after another the past 2 years. I've definitely picked up this habit of thinking, and fell into despair. I've climbed out for the most part. The biggest turn for me was when my dad survived his stroke with minimal damage. I realized how blessed I am despite all the setbacks. I still have some issues I need ironed out but where there's love there's hope.
I am in a DBT program and your video is my most difficult challenge. My auto button to spiral is definitely working well. Definitely not my best button. It’s hard to practice my Stop button but I do try. Thanks for your videos and the validation they offer.
I work very hard on preparedness, research, and action plans, but the stress is just too much to manage and I can't afford therapy, and am allergic to the available medications that I formerly used to take. Sometimes my action plans fall through due to things outside my control, only making the situation worse. It's all such a catch 22.
I used to think like this regularly. I was able to work through it a couple years ago and was on top of the world. Right now I’m dealing with some pretty rotten postpartum depression and this thinking pattern is coming back. I think the toughest part for shifting my thinking right now is: 1. If I don’t worry about worst case, I could carelessly ignore something that could affect the life of not just me, but my child who is now my world. 2. I keep thinking of all the times I was right with my catastrophic thinking. I was so mad at those who convinced me to think otherwise. I was then caught off guard. Plus how dare I… to have felt so comfortable and happy when I should have had the foresight to anticipate the bad. I should have felt awful in the lead up too. Being anxious is bad, but sometimes not being anxious when you “should” have been anxious is worse. I know that if I don’t change this thinking now, it will affect my relationships, my career and my child’s upbringing. I don’t want my child to do this the same way my mother taught me to, but holy moly changing my thoughts right now seems impossible. I’m just glad that there are good resources out there and that Dr. Marks has a great approach to looking at these things. Good luck to everyone else out there trying to change their default settings! It’s tough but worth it.
Will definitely watch the other videos of controlling negative thoughts. Seems to be what my mind focuses on the majority of the time. I do notice my body changes when I say positive things especially such as “I’ll never get this done” to 😂”I’ve got this, I know I can do this” not always but I’m working on it. Thanks for the video
Overthinking, intrusive thoughts, catastrophizing thoughts... It's getting worse even when I'm doing simple short chores... I miss the time when I was a kid, I might be a loner but at least I'm happy
I had a major meltdown Wednesday about an incident at my apartment complex and feel that eviction is a policy even though the issue with my apartment complex has been dealt with...I almost went to the emergency room over it.... Then I was going to go on a 2 week vacation to Florida on Tuesday but had to cancel because I really scared myself with the Blind Rage about what happened Wednesday and because Airports and Planes can be very stressful I felt it was in my best interest to cancel my vacation.. So I most definitely struggle with this. I definitely need to discuss this with my therapist..
I am fond of Dr. Marks because she always gives credence to the parts of a thought process that are legitimate. She shows that in almost all cases it isn’t ALL of your thinking in a particular vein that is necessarily wrong, but perhaps just certain parts. Thought processes are a spectrum, and she shows where the line is where you start to cross over between “normal” and areas that can cause trouble for you.
Dr. Marks. Great video!!!! Unfortunately, this is me to a tee. I will save this video and watch it a few times. Thank you!!!! You couldn't have described me better.
This whole video describes me to the core. What I have believed is the cause of trauma (which I guess it kind of is) - is this way of thinking. I can’t believe it - my brain has just exploded - the whole video - it has explained things to me that I didnt realise were the cause of catastrophising . I had major health issues as a child, had 2 heart operations and stuff, at 13 my sister was diagnosed with MS and has really struggled with it ever since. My parents and brother also have health problems and I am constantly waiting for another disaster, because that is just what happens to our family. I constantly have nightmares and am very anxious if any of them are a little late to come home or answer a message…. This video just explained everything to me in only a few minutes🤯 - thank you so so much.
Why is journalling the thoughts supposed to be helpful? my mum used to do that, she filled books and books with ruminating thoughts, and I don't see that it helped her at all, I think it made the thoughts more real
Getting them out of your head on onto paper helps you get better control over them by working on them. It's easier for the thoughts to hide in your head. When they stay in your head, they are still very real and affect you, but they are secrets that you can convince yourself aren't real or don't cause problems.
This is my daily life especially in the past 90 days. Ended up being diagnosed with ADHD at 53 years of age, on medical LOA, Severe Anxiety, and lots of therapy. She literally brought up examples of distortions which I unfortunately have embraced over the years.
In a not so good situation now. Catastrophizing like hell and scared. Hoping I can come back to this comment and look back on this time of my life lightly.
Writing thoughts down and burn or rid of the paper for not reading again. I am for that with negativity. Mood wellness journal...and therapy like that artistically I keep however
I’ve catastrophised when people start being unpleasant at work. Very hard not to just bail. I found the only way to deal with people is directly take control, establish your intentions and tell their boss that is what you are doing and they (unpleasant person) may react badly, but this is the way you’ve decided to deal with the situation. Either way, you are either out or you turn it around. You will learn alot by turning it around and nothing by bailing.
😭😭 I just catastrophized myself out of the best relationship ever! 😭😭 He's the love of my life, didn't do anything wrong, a beautiful soul, and a ruined it. He's not coming back. 😭😭 Help 😣
Yep I still do that when sometimes there’s JP need to. The need to control events especially when you’re childhood was so chaotic.. learning to work through that though - 😊
I was having a cup of coffee while watching this, and the way you were guiding us to being connected to the present moment, engaging our senses as well as we can (notice the temperature, the texture, how low in your chest you feel it...), made it possibly the best cup of coffee I've had in a long time! I am in awe at how disconnected or on autopilot I was as I was drinking my coffee, something I do a couple times a day 😮 ps: it's actual coffee - black or sweetened with cane sugar, sometimes, served in a small mug, not the most common american version of it, of milk and sugar/syrups with coffee notes served in huge cups, but I still would benefit from consuming less of it, daily.
This is how iv been since I was little. I have always been a worst case scenario thinker. Iv always thought it was just me. N iv had no idk how to change it. Hopefully after this video I can finally start changing it.
Thank you!!! I find myself always thinking negative and setting myself up for failure only because I thought it was going to happen anyway. But these reminders to change that pattern and see and accept other options I will save my life.
I've been catastrophising lately since my last reaction to my epilepsy medication. I've wanted to stop taking all drugs, but I'm told that it could lead to a higher risk of status epilepticus or even SUDEP. Now, I can't stop thinking about what it would be like if I unexpectedly died, and I keep thinking that I don't have long to live and I could die at any moment. I hope to reduce these thoughts and enjoy life to the fullest while I still can.
I catastrophize because the world does not fundamentally make sense to me. I never really know what to expect from any given situation, and life in general feels unpredictable.
Dr. Tracy your videos are a godsend ❤️I have never been able to access therapy due to finical issues but your videos are like free therapy for me. I have learned so much from your videos about negative thought patterns and how to change them. It has helped me so much, thank you for all you do
This seems like a form of OCD; you can’t be OK until you have absolute certainty that things have been done properly or will turn out fine. Maybe like the part or mechanism of the brain or mind that says, ~”ok, that’s enough assurance” isn’t functioning properly so we continue to seek assurance that things are or will be ok. Without the “assurance” that we can stop being concerned, we focus on achieving that assurance which can mean examining and re-examining a potential hazard with the intent of finding a way to assure ourselves that we can dismiss our concern related to the hazard. I have experienced a bit of this in a brief period in the past. One thing I did was break down the concern into probabilities. E.g., what are the chances of the several things happening that would comprise the outcome of concern. Chances of thing 1: 1/1000, Chances of thing 2: 1/50, etc. Then I did the math and the odds were many millions to 1. Wasn’t an instant fix, but it was certainly helpful.
I do catch myself catastrophizing but whenever I try to talk myself out of it, it feels like I'm gaslighting myself. There's literally so many negative things happening that I don't know how much self-gaslighting I could do.
Hello Dr. Tracy Mark, you're videos 📹, ❤ if not, all of them resonate with me dearly along with Dr. Ramni, I feel so rejuvenate, I've got excepted into UEI College to study Medical Billing & Coding, evening however, I will continue to stay positive about my thoughts towards my self defenses and keep a level mindfulness. That hard work toward a goal is never-ending. LOL 😊 Thank you for your 📹 OH am a
I've been ruminating for the last 7 months, I've been going to a Therapyst for the last 2 years and I just can't stop ruminating, it's driving me crazy.
Like a lot of people, I tend to catastrophisize while lying awake at night. I try to remember the wise words of an old girlfriend: "Nothing you think at 3 in the morning is real."
and the catastrophy won't take place at that very moment.
Lol I’d say often there’s a reason but yeah u shouldn’t carry those thoughts through the rest of your day when u wake up
yes , true . but it can be SO hard to convince myself that the world i live in at 3AM isn’t real. i have to constantly tell myself that my thoughts are not the world . it’s hard because i like to believe i’m not stupid so then why isn’t this the real world ? 😞
I just checked the time
Me, too.😂Then or while I’m doing my hair.🤷♀️😂
For over 30 years, I have been in survivor mode because I catastrophize everything. I been told to stop being dramatic, but this was not me stirring up drama. I even would ask my manager at work if we were getting laid off because I was laid off before.
I wouldn’t do things, experience life, go places, or pursue my dreams because I just knew, from my past experiences, these endeavors were going to fail. Regardless of what I did or would do, the inevitability was failure.
Now I take pride in every effort I make, even if it was a fail. I look for moments I can claim as a victory, no matter how small. This helps to get rid of those catastrophic thoughts. It also reminds me that failures happen in life, but my life is not a failure. 🕉️
What a powerful story! I appreciate you sharing your life experiences and how you are shifting your perspective on what it means to “fail” without taking on the label of “failure.” Who can get through life without some failures? (Or a lot of failures, if we’re really observant 😂…) And how many victories do we just take for granted because we are worried about the failures?
You have reminded me today not to define myself by everything that has happened to me or around me in my life (even the things I contributed to with my own actions) but by how I respond to those things and learn from them. ❤ Thank you!
@@gnomie2.0 You're welcome. Happy healing!
Thanks for sharing this, I'm going through the same thing. I wish you the best
@@martinvansanten4417 you too! Happy healing ❤️🩹
@@MamaMo2-2 thank you 🙏🏼❤️
Health anxiety. A pain turns into cancer etc.
This is me
Definitely me
me too
Yes! This is me! To be fair, the world is legitimately catastrophic with random, capricious, arbitrary tragedy that can lurk around any corner. My catastrophisizing is not hallucination, paranoia or a reality-testing problem. I don’t fear being abducted by aliens.
Lol, one of my biggest fears as a kid, being abducted by aliens.... Glad I got over that one, mostly, lol....
You are a legend!
"Whom is my Master? He who decides, what I do or do not like" - Epictetus. Was born into slavery in Ancient Rome, but an admittedly privileged one.
"What stands in the way becomes the way" - Marcus Aurelius.
"Be water" - Bruce Lee, extremely oversimplified.
"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst" - unknown. Often attributed to Aurelius and many more.
"Never overly rely on anyone else, for even your own shadow leaves you, in complete darkness" - Ibn Taymiyyah.
"Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong" - Churchill.
OMG TAY!!!
Sounds like somebody who lives in the city. Hey you're the guy from T'osh.0
Some of us have had more adverse lives than others , that can also cause real fear for the future. It's hard to pretend that there are not serious risks in making the wrong move in life when you have no safety net ( Family Wealth or Personal ) . Unfortunately this undermines your confidence , and makes failure unacceptable . That's a lot of pressure , and tends to set you up for anxiety and stress .
I feel like the irony is that the stress can often cause you to 'mess things up' more
What an enlightening comment. This is a great description of why I tend to stay in the survival mode.
This is so true! One wrong decision and you could be on the streets and possibly die from starvation or an illness.
That’s me. Growing up poor and not having a safety net does a number on your mental health.
So true! Lack of spouse & family for financial or emotional support can make a huge difference. As a sufferer/survivor of depression & anxiety, a lot also depends on your meds, which depends on health ins & income. There's a delicate balance between ↑ good stress for motivation & productivity and ↓ the neg stress/anxiety that overwhelms & causes shutdown mode. The fear of success can be just as debilitating as fear of failure. It's a vicious cycle. I know from exp that criticism vs positive encouragement are also contributing factors. Unfortunately, social isolation has become an epidemic in recent yrs so I'm glad we can share & support each other in this format, at least.
The phrase that always helps me cope with negative thoughts is "real but not true". If I fear that I'm going to die or lose my job, I have to recognize that that is a real fear, and it can happen to anyone. But that doesn't mean it's going to happen, or that if it does, I will not be able to find a healthy way to deal with the situation. The feelings are real, but the worst possible outcome almost never comes true.
Everything you’ve said resonates with me. Im constantly catastrophizing due to my upbringing and depression. Thank you, Dr. marks. Your videos are my lifeline. ❤
I'm so glad they are helping you! ❤️
@DrTraceyMarks in todays world, it isnt that hard to catastrophize.
@@DrTraceyMarkssee above
Feels like I have ALWAYS been in this mindset... and in survival mode. I'm 65.
Same here. It sucks, I'm 37
Me as well, I am in my 60's too. I actually felt a bit better after this video from Dr Marks and I hope that it gives you some hope too. I wish you well and I am really sorry that you have suffered so much.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
“I’m just always anxious” that’s me :(
Same 😢
"your mind is just marinating in negativity". marvellous definition!
This goes hand in hand with hypervigilance which I struggled with a lot myself due to CPTSD. Unfortunately parental influences play a big part in how we can cognitively process information. Highly recommend everyone to do some family history digging
I was just talking yesterday about how I tend to catastrophize and how hard it is not to. Thank you for this.
My husband is the worst case KING! I am his balance because I HAVE lived in my worst case scenario and I came out the other side stronger than I thought I could be. I infuriate him because I learned to just let him rant and rave and then I calmly question him about how he came to this conclusion (or I just laugh at him which used to infuriate him but now he takes it as a sign to look at the issue from a different perspective)
I have been blessed by my trauma because I am closer to God than I have ever been and more grateful for my life.
My partner thinks this way and it is so difficult. I try to be understanding and comforting but can't do much when he has already decided to create dooms day scenario in his mind. It is exhausting for me but I love him so much and I'm scared that if I try to nudge him to come out of this thing a lot, he will again start to overthink that he is unable to hold a steady relation and will quit altogether. Idk what to do to help him and I don't want to lose him. Any tips?
I lost my 28 year old son in August and it was extremely sudden and tragic. I find myself looking around thinking everyone in my life is dying. My favorite uncle just died on Jan 2. I’m terrified. I’m going to try some of these techniques.
Sending you healing and love. So sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss..
Sending you a hug and love, ❤
I am really sorry. Love and prayers
That's so very sad,
Had problems with my in laws for years. I couldn’t control the constant ruminating and churning angry thoughts. Someone with even worse problems told me that you can’t stop a bird from sitting on your head but you don’t have to let it stay there. This was initially helpful and I expanded on it by stopping and thinking why am I suddenly thinking these things, am I angry at that person right now, etc. It let me just recognize anger, try not to let myself get embroiled in their lives anymore and just move on with life.
Having had some hard losses in our family in the past year, I seem to be experiencing anticipatory grief. Every feeling of love I have is now tainted with that expectation of loss. I’m sure I’m not alone, especially with all the tragic losses to Covid, and this has been very helpful, and timely. Thank you.
You are not alone
Because we are all traumatized, look at what the world has done to us lately. Now we have to look for solutions to cope. I'm constantly in the flight or fight out of the fear of being homeless from poverty because of what they are doing to us... I've never been so insecure... I've never felt so powerless... before all of this I felt strong and vital.
As someone who’s Autistic and has ADHD, has had a pattern of rigid, Worst Case Scenario Thinking, and is working to buy a new(er) replacement car with their spouse, this video came into my life at exactly the right time.
I’ll be watching it on repeat and practicing the techniques to get more resilient in my thinking and subsequent outlook/behavior! 😊
Thank you for sharing this!! ❤
You're so welcome Rachel!
@@DrTraceyMarks Please keep making your videos! I find them very helpful!!
Hi fellow AuDHD'er
I have CPTSD. While I was a child I was convinced I would die young. I felt I was simply unlucky and everyone else knew something I didn't. When I had kids, my worries centered around them. I was convinced they would unalive themselves bc I was a bad parent. Therapy helped break me of this belief. It was awful but, I was a great paramedic! 😂 Thinking of the worst-case scenario is vital to saving a life. You have to be prepared and work with urgency to prevent the worst. See, mental illness has its up sides!😅😂😂😂
Seems in your case, it's a way to save them from getting to a worst case scenario
So you feel 100% better now? You described me
Yes! My brain always calculates the worst case scenario without me really being conscious of it. I quit a lot of stuff, because I'm convinced I won't do well at it. This is so me!
Thank You for this video. My wife and I live with BPD. This ‘catastrophic thinking’ style is prevalent and we do have trauma. We’re grateful for therapy. Thanks for your dedication and time.😊
I wish you made videos 15 years ago. Thank you for what you do. You're videos are truly a gift for both children and adults.
OMG I am crying like a baby listening to this because this is a huge problem for me and I could never understand what was going on in my head...what I was doing to make it worse. AND you are giving me ideas to break this pattern. Thank you, Dr. Marks, from the bottom of my heart.
I have health anxiety and GAD. I tend to catastrophize a lot and ruminate in fear. Especially when my pulse rate remains high for days on end because of an anxiety attack (yes, I saw a doctor and it's anxiety related, but I can't get good mental health treatment in rural nowhere). So, I've been trying to watch videos in order to deal with these issues and calm myself down.
Me too
The Universe has spoken through you Dr. Marks! I am moving this weekend and starting a new job Monday. While these are stressful life events, I am feeling anxious and catastrophizing to the extreme today! Thanks for the video, it was great timing for me.
Good luck and congratulations Jonathan
Good luck, Jonathan
Omg I’ve never felt so understood 😢 I’ve been told that I over think and should just stop reading into things too much. But I can’t help it, it’s second nature for me. Now I know what I’m dealing with and I’ll seek to make my life better by working on it. Thank you Dr. Marks 🙏🏾
Thank you Dr. Tracey. Have done this a lot myself and it makes sense because I did go through a family tragedy when I was young where I lost a few of my immediate family members. It’s a hard feeling to shake off. It’s because we’ve seen the worst that can happen and automatically we are confident it can happen again. Thankfully I am improving with this and I thank my husband for his encouragement and support. I still automatically think negatively and worry, but I am aware that this is something I need to work on.
Yes it is a hard tendency to break away from when something traumatic really happened. It's good that you recognize the automatic thinking then you can work on not immediately acting on the auto thinking. All the best to you. 😊❤️
I do this all the time. I am always bracing for a storm that typically never comes. One day, a friend said something that opened my eyes. I was in the middle of catastrophizing when he said, "Are you psychic? How do you know that's going to happen?" Now, when I jump to the worse case scenario, I remember his words and try to be optimistic. I also have a habit of ruminating. I curb that behavior by saying, "It's over! Let it go!"
Thanks for a great video, Doctor!
I find this quite true with ocd and intrusive thoughts. The absolute worst thoughts at the least expected time. It’s like constantly on repeat
Another great video♥️. Our family of origin in any past trauma we experienced affects the way we view the world and ourselves. Journaling and reframing can be so helpful .
So true! 👍
Dr. Marks, you are SO d*** sharp! lol I am currently in treatment both for Bipolar 1 and ADHD and at age 57, although I have experienced seasons of success and contentment, the rest of my life has been a series of train wrecks. As I look to keep moving forward and redefine myself at my current age (while continuing in treatment), I desperately needed to hear this video! You have cleared an enormous amount of fog on a lot of what I'm doing and have been doing basically all of my life. Thanks as always! 👍
I tend to do this a lot. I think of the absolute worst outcome in situations. Sometimes I can catch them after years of counseling. I try to walk myself through the steps. It’s hard but sometimes it helps me calm down.
Catastrophic thinking is very tiring. I’ve done this since I was about 5 years old. Now that I’m older if I hear about bad news or anything I begin to imagine I’m next in line for that particular event to happen to me if I’m not very empathetic towards the event. I’m overly empathetic, I feel drained and sometimes it’s too much I just want to sleep. I’ve never gone to therapy before. I love God but I believe I need therapy as well. Many people will think it’s because I don’t trust God but this goes deeper. I can feel paralyzed by fear. I have children and if I leave my children with my mom for her to watch them I call her 30 times to check if they’re fine and nothing has happened to them. I feel anxious on car rides, going out alone for fear of getting kidnapped. This is so overwhelming. 😢😢
Yes it is. I haven been like this too since I was a little girl too. I am a grandma now. 😢
@@moriahpalmas5264 Praying for you 🙏❤️
Having a mother and father that catastophize life set me up. Everyday I have to work on me to change!
I catastrophize so much that over the past 10 - 15 years, I have had so many good ideas of wanting to start a Non-profit, write books, publish my poetry, learn to play guitar, learn to drive, be involved in developing programs for the youth in high schools to improve literacy levels in my community etc ...BUT, none of these things have ever seen the light of day because every time I think about them, all I see is how they will all fail, and how disastrous the failure will be, how embarrassing it will be and therefore how I am better off not even starting with any of them.
I hate that my mind instinctively conjures up all the things that can go wrong, before even trying to see how well something might turn out. I always prepare for the worst or just avoid everything altogether just to avoid failure. I'm terrified of failure.
You can't fail if you never try, right? That's where my mind lives. Safer to not ever try.
My heart breaks when I look back at all the opportunities I've missed or let go over the years just because I was convinced that if I tried anything, it just wouldn't work out for me. I'm now 36 and still terrified of trying to start anything. I want to, I wish to...but all I see in my lists of goals and desires for the New Year is how it's all doomed and I will fail and make a fool out of myself by trying. 😞💔
I’m sorry.
I do it !!!!! so if something happens, I've already thought about what I will do or say if/when it happens..being prepared so I can control my words/reactions 🤷🏾♀️
Ive lost so many close loved ones in the past 5 years I definitely feel that's where it started with me. Thank you for this video.
THIS TIMING IS DIVINE I AM LOOSING MY SHIEEEEESH RN OVER FINANCES
Me too!!!!!!
Being in presence is powerful. I read Eckhart Tolle the power of now years ago..and am on his latest book. A new earth. But the Ego Is so powerful it loves to return with a vengeance and tell you allsorts of lies...I also read Louise Hay book you can heal your life 10 years ago and I still do her UA-cam meditation vids now. I love her x
Thank you for providing these great videos for those of us who cant afford to pay $200 an hour for a therapist.
This video came at a perfect moment, thank you so much, doc!
You're very welcome!
Since I was born, every time I got up out of one situation, something or someone knocked me down in some horrific way. Eventually, something triggered the catastrophisizing, and everything started to look as if it was the inevitable beginning of the apocalypse where mankind simply kills himself. I lost touch with the fact that we are made of star dust. I forgot that we are in some sort of way, the universe, existing to experience itself from all infinite perspectives... if nothing else. That if we can't see spirituality, that we still have the comfort about the connection of what we are ALL made of. That helps me stop and enjoy the moment. Knowing that my existence is my experience helps keep me here. I hope this helps someone else too.
I do this. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
I've been looking for a clear and concise video on this topic that I could share with students. This is it. Thank you.
Cognitive distortions almost always are protecting us from facing emotions. Learn how to handle the waves of emotion that hit you, and how to reassess your thinking using logic. Get free from your mind traps. MY THOUGHTS AREN'T ALWAYS MY TRUTH needs to be your mantra.
False evidence appearing real,remember that cathy
Finding this channel has helped me a ton. During downtime at work, scrolling through UA-cam, I see these videos pop up in my recommended. It's always a nice to have reminders ❤
I'm glad they have been helpful for you!
Wow! This is so on time. I needed to hear this. I was getting ready to go into this mode with a recent custody threat.
Tracy is absolutely right. The first time I had a mayor depression I had also these heavy hypchondric symptoms . My fantasy was unlimited creating new possible disorders on a daily basis. It was all in from multiple sclerosis, brain tumor, AIDS , Alzheimer etc. and of course all the illnesses the science has't been discovered until now. One day I realized that my thinking was somehow ridiculous because everthing was examined without no result and I stopped hypchondria from one day to another
This is so helpful! I really need to start practicing this. I've been through one catastrophe after another the past 2 years. I've definitely picked up this habit of thinking, and fell into despair. I've climbed out for the most part. The biggest turn for me was when my dad survived his stroke with minimal damage. I realized how blessed I am despite all the setbacks. I still have some issues I need ironed out but where there's love there's hope.
I am in a DBT program and your video is my most difficult challenge. My auto button to spiral is definitely working well. Definitely not my best button. It’s hard to practice my Stop button but I do try.
Thanks for your videos and the validation they offer.
I have OCD and I think this'll be helpful for the most part!
That's great!
Thank you Dr. Marks, I needed this today.
I work very hard on preparedness, research, and action plans, but the stress is just too much to manage and I can't afford therapy, and am allergic to the available medications that I formerly used to take. Sometimes my action plans fall through due to things outside my control, only making the situation worse. It's all such a catch 22.
I used to think like this regularly. I was able to work through it a couple years ago and was on top of the world. Right now I’m dealing with some pretty rotten postpartum depression and this thinking pattern is coming back.
I think the toughest part for shifting my thinking right now is:
1. If I don’t worry about worst case, I could carelessly ignore something that could affect the life of not just me, but my child who is now my world.
2. I keep thinking of all the times I was right with my catastrophic thinking. I was so mad at those who convinced me to think otherwise. I was then caught off guard. Plus how dare I… to have felt so comfortable and happy when I should have had the foresight to anticipate the bad. I should have felt awful in the lead up too. Being anxious is bad, but sometimes not being anxious when you “should” have been anxious is worse.
I know that if I don’t change this thinking now, it will affect my relationships, my career and my child’s upbringing. I don’t want my child to do this the same way my mother taught me to, but holy moly changing my thoughts right now seems impossible. I’m just glad that there are good resources out there and that Dr. Marks has a great approach to looking at these things.
Good luck to everyone else out there trying to change their default settings! It’s tough but worth it.
Thanks for pointing out the difference between planning and catastrophizing.
Will definitely watch the other videos of controlling negative thoughts. Seems to be what my mind focuses on the majority of the time. I do notice my body changes when I say positive things especially such as “I’ll never get this done” to 😂”I’ve got this, I know I can do this” not always but I’m working on it. Thanks for the video
Overthinking, intrusive thoughts, catastrophizing thoughts... It's getting worse even when I'm doing simple short chores... I miss the time when I was a kid, I might be a loner but at least I'm happy
I soo needed this video today, its the ruminating that gets me.. Thanks for the tools, staying present and writing feelings down. I will use them.
Some of my college professor's were "PhD"s'. I now appreciate the details packed into these lessons, unlike before. Thanks Dr. Marks and Company.
Tracey is the BEST.
I had a major meltdown Wednesday about an incident at my apartment complex and feel that eviction is a policy even though the issue with my apartment complex has been dealt with...I almost went to the emergency room over it.... Then I was going to go on a 2 week vacation to Florida on Tuesday but had to cancel because I really scared myself with the Blind Rage about what happened Wednesday and because Airports and Planes can be very stressful I felt it was in my best interest to cancel my vacation.. So I most definitely struggle with this. I definitely need to discuss this with my therapist..
I absolutely hate airports!
HOW COMMON IS THIS? JUST CURIOUS...
Very common especially if you grew up in a traumatic situation it takes years to heal and recover
This is my entire life. I hate it but it’s kept my head above water over the years. The thing is it sometimes makes me try a lot harder.
I am fond of Dr. Marks because she always gives credence to the parts of a thought process that are legitimate. She shows that in almost all cases it isn’t ALL of your thinking in a particular vein that is necessarily wrong, but perhaps just certain parts. Thought processes are a spectrum, and she shows where the line is where you start to cross over between “normal” and areas that can cause trouble for you.
Dr. Marks. Great video!!!! Unfortunately, this is me to a tee.
I will save this video and watch it a few times. Thank you!!!! You couldn't have described me better.
This whole video describes me to the core. What I have believed is the cause of trauma (which I guess it kind of is) - is this way of thinking. I can’t believe it - my brain has just exploded - the whole video - it has explained things to me that I didnt realise were the cause of catastrophising . I had major health issues as a child, had 2 heart operations and stuff, at 13 my sister was diagnosed with MS and has really struggled with it ever since. My parents and brother also have health problems and I am constantly waiting for another disaster, because that is just what happens to our family. I constantly have nightmares and am very anxious if any of them are a little late to come home or answer a message…. This video just explained everything to me in only a few minutes🤯 - thank you so so much.
Grounding meditation has helped me stop this thinking ❤❤
Why is journalling the thoughts supposed to be helpful? my mum used to do that, she filled books and books with ruminating thoughts, and I don't see that it helped her at all, I think it made the thoughts more real
Getting them out of your head on onto paper helps you get better control over them by working on them. It's easier for the thoughts to hide in your head. When they stay in your head, they are still very real and affect you, but they are secrets that you can convince yourself aren't real or don't cause problems.
NGL - “Catastrophizing” is such a cool word!
Just a shame it adversely affects many people.
I’ve literally driven myself to anxiety and depression by catastrophizing
This is my daily life especially in the past 90 days. Ended up being diagnosed with ADHD at 53 years of age, on medical LOA, Severe Anxiety, and lots of therapy. She literally brought up examples of distortions which I unfortunately have embraced over the years.
This is the best video I've found on this topic.
Now I know why I have a panic attack every time there's a storm!!!
In a not so good situation now. Catastrophizing like hell and scared. Hoping I can come back to this comment and look back on this time of my life lightly.
Can you please talk about the new research suggesting that depression is not caused by low serotonin levels
Writing thoughts down and burn or rid of the paper for not reading again. I am for that with negativity.
Mood wellness journal...and therapy like that artistically I keep however
Wow, thanks for making this video. I've got real bad about doing this over the last few years & it's cool to hear it explained. I love all ur videos!
Greetings from Ghana... seriously, WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME???!!
I’ve catastrophised when people start being unpleasant at work. Very hard not to just bail. I found the only way to deal with people is directly take control, establish your intentions and tell their boss that is what you are doing and they (unpleasant person) may react badly, but this is the way you’ve decided to deal with the situation. Either way, you are either out or you turn it around. You will learn alot by turning it around and nothing by bailing.
😭😭 I just catastrophized myself out of the best relationship ever! 😭😭 He's the love of my life, didn't do anything wrong, a beautiful soul, and a ruined it. He's not coming back. 😭😭 Help 😣
You are one of the most easy to understand professionals I have encountered on here.
Yep I still do that when sometimes there’s JP need to. The need to control events especially when you’re childhood was so chaotic.. learning to work through that though - 😊
I was having a cup of coffee while watching this, and the way you were guiding us to being connected to the present moment, engaging our senses as well as we can (notice the temperature, the texture, how low in your chest you feel it...), made it possibly the best cup of coffee I've had in a long time! I am in awe at how disconnected or on autopilot I was as I was drinking my coffee, something I do a couple times a day 😮 ps: it's actual coffee - black or sweetened with cane sugar, sometimes, served in a small mug, not the most common american version of it, of milk and sugar/syrups with coffee notes served in huge cups, but I still would benefit from consuming less of it, daily.
I'm going to try journaling.. 💕✨️
Oh my God, I would pay any price to have one session with this incredible therapist!
This is how iv been since I was little. I have always been a worst case scenario thinker. Iv always thought it was just me. N iv had no idk how to change it. Hopefully after this video I can finally start changing it.
Your videos are so helpful. Bless you and the work you do. Honestly.
I've always expect the wrorst case scenarios so the pain of them won't hurt as much.
If you grew up in an environment where this thinking was common - bulls eye.
Thank you!!! I find myself always thinking negative and setting myself up for failure only because I thought it was going to happen anyway. But these reminders to change that pattern and see and accept other options I will save my life.
I've been catastrophising lately since my last reaction to my epilepsy medication. I've wanted to stop taking all drugs, but I'm told that it could lead to a higher risk of status epilepticus or even SUDEP. Now, I can't stop thinking about what it would be like if I unexpectedly died, and I keep thinking that I don't have long to live and I could die at any moment. I hope to reduce these thoughts and enjoy life to the fullest while I still can.
Speak on learned helplessness.
I catastrophize because the world does not fundamentally make sense to me. I never really know what to expect from any given situation, and life in general feels unpredictable.
Dr. Tracy your videos are a godsend ❤️I have never been able to access therapy due to finical issues but your videos are like free therapy for me. I have learned so much from your videos about negative thought patterns and how to change them. It has helped me so much, thank you for all you do
9:51 this really helps me. Stop and think about all the senses. Especially if I’m super upset 🤯
This thumbnail is everything 😂
noo don't change it! 🤣
This seems like a form of OCD; you can’t be OK until you have absolute certainty that things have been done properly or will turn out fine. Maybe like the part or mechanism of the brain or mind that says, ~”ok, that’s enough assurance” isn’t functioning properly so we continue to seek assurance that things are or will be ok. Without the “assurance” that we can stop being concerned, we focus on achieving that assurance which can mean examining and re-examining a potential hazard with the intent of finding a way to assure ourselves that we can dismiss our concern related to the hazard.
I have experienced a bit of this in a brief period in the past. One thing I did was break down the concern into probabilities. E.g., what are the chances of the several things happening that would comprise the outcome of concern. Chances of thing 1: 1/1000, Chances of thing 2: 1/50, etc. Then I did the math and the odds were many millions to 1. Wasn’t an instant fix, but it was certainly helpful.
I do catch myself catastrophizing but whenever I try to talk myself out of it, it feels like I'm gaslighting myself. There's literally so many negative things happening that I don't know how much self-gaslighting I could do.
Hello Dr. Tracy Mark, you're videos 📹, ❤ if not, all of them resonate with me dearly along with Dr. Ramni, I feel so rejuvenate, I've got excepted into UEI College to study Medical Billing & Coding, evening however, I will continue to stay positive about my thoughts towards my self defenses and keep a level mindfulness. That hard work toward a goal is never-ending. LOL 😊 Thank you for your 📹 OH am a
Looking at the thumbnail I was thinking glad you made it out in time. 😂🤣
I've been ruminating for the last 7 months, I've been going to a Therapyst for the last 2 years and I just can't stop ruminating, it's driving me crazy.