Is Sexual Attraction Essential for Marriage?

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  • Опубліковано 27 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 63

  • @calvinsbeard7423
    @calvinsbeard7423 4 роки тому +67

    I'd gladly marry a homely woman. If she loves the Lord, that would make her beautiful to me. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
    ‭‭-Proverbs‬ ‭31:30

    • @JeffayyasarmientoZK
      @JeffayyasarmientoZK 4 роки тому

      @Myballsitchsomethingfierce The problem is not Jimmy. The problem is Jimmy's head or belief system. Work on your son Jimmy's belief system then Jimmy will find a beautiful woman both outside and inside no matter what.

    • @latenitehvac868
      @latenitehvac868 Рік тому

      @@JeffayyasarmientoZKyes

    • @jasonwilliams8321
      @jasonwilliams8321 10 місяців тому

      Its a little more complex than that.

  • @brandonsmith7787
    @brandonsmith7787 4 роки тому +54

    We need to turn the TV off, stop using social media so much, cut off certain people in our lives, and try our best even though we're not perfect to do what the bible says. The best type of conversation a man and woman can have is reading and studying the bible together.

    • @karlyost4732
      @karlyost4732 4 роки тому +4

      Sorry about this but what are you looking at on your phone, how about the things you wacth and look at is it pure and clean and discreet and safe and peaceful and if you are, then you will be all right, bless you brother and he who endures to the end shall be saved amen read Matthew 24 all of it and 25, all so and isaiah chapter 31 32 33 34 35 even so come quickly Lord Jesus ❣️ Christ amen

    • @brandonsmith7787
      @brandonsmith7787 4 роки тому +1

      @@karlyost4732 👏👏

  • @Kelly_Silverman
    @Kelly_Silverman 4 роки тому +12

    Yes, I listened to the video and I hope the woman can draw her conclusion from Pastor John's answer.
    If two people are marrying into a covenant in order to serve God and to have someone to spend their lives with, and sex will not be a requirement but just to have a friend .. then I'd say go for it!
    However, if one isn't sexually attracted and the other one wants sex.... You may find yourself in a real pickle during the honeymoon 👀

  • @jmccottry
    @jmccottry 4 роки тому +36

    Sexual attraction plays a very important piece in physical intimacy. It's going to be hard having physical intimacy with your partner if the sexual attraction isn't there. Sex is important in marriage and it's even a requirement biblically. I believe it's situational, Sexual attraction is more important than others and that shouldn't be a bad thing....for other couples, having a sexual attraction may not matter to them and they may have a happy and fulfilling marriage.

    • @waterbaby_princess
      @waterbaby_princess Рік тому +4

      What does sexual attraction have anything to do with marriage? People put waaaaay too much emphasis on the attraction part. Up until recently, sexual attraction had NOTHING to do with biblical marriage. It's about being holy and showing the true mystery of the Trinity: 3 in 1.

    • @jasonwilliams8321
      @jasonwilliams8321 10 місяців тому +1

      @@waterbaby_princess Historically, cheating and extra marital hooks were difficult and the consequences were not good should the affair come to light. Nowadays there are way too many opportunities for a person to seek out and get fulfillment in that area if they are not experiencing it at home.

    • @Romans-10-9-13
      @Romans-10-9-13 8 місяців тому +2

      @@waterbaby_princess Have you ever read the Song of Solomon?

    • @kevindavis4709
      @kevindavis4709 7 місяців тому

      @@waterbaby_princess I do not even see that in the Bible nowhere if that were so Paul would’ve said unless you were physically attractive it’s better to marry than burn with passion that sink in

    • @waterbaby_princess
      @waterbaby_princess 7 місяців тому +1

      I did not think this post would garner THIS MUCH attention.
      This is coming from a woman who nearly became a Nun and married a guy who nearly became a Priest recently. (Cue hilarity)
      We have known each other for 6 years. It was based out of our love for God and His command for us to marry. I did my duty and continue to do my duty because that's the will of God.
      Now my reply was based on what I read in text books growing up and what I learned during my time in the Convent. So obviously I don't have the average red-blooded American viewpoint on S-E-X.
      Do you always remain sexually attracted to your partner? That would be my next question. Because if you're marrying someone because you want them in bed so badly, I'd question your decision making.
      I got married because it was a necessity. The sexual attraction came in after the marriage only because I was able to experience that in a safe and loving environment with someone who valued the marriage bed as I did.
      Too many people are led by their loins and not their hearts and I stand by that.

  • @ana______6567
    @ana______6567 4 роки тому +41

    As a woman and someone who also had similar experience I have to say that it is not possible, if you are not attracted to him. You Will only be repulsed by the thought of it. Marriage won't change it. And of course sex is not essential for marriage as a covenant, but it is a struggle and disaster waiting to happen because he will want it but she Will avoid it, and for how long? Until one of them Will not be able to take it anymore. What she is experiencing is guilt probably for thinking sex is shallow, looking at person's apperance is shallow and their heart and character should be looked at. But it's not shallow- it's actually very practical, and if it's not working in that area, well, you two are just friends(which he won't accept probably)

    • @JeffayyasarmientoZK
      @JeffayyasarmientoZK 4 роки тому +15

      That's not love then. If you require physical attraction and/or sexual attraction in order for making love with your God-given husband not to be a struggle. If you need sexually attraction to make love with your husband then that is plain superficial crap. It's not coming from love, or wanting to give, or wanting to please, wanting to be one and enjoy your husband.
      What if your husband suddenly got an accident and the whole entire body got burnt scars or had diformities. Or what if he made a big mistake out of confusion and so he is now suffering from alot of mental illness and all, are you gonna divorce your husband now coz you can't make love with him or satisfy his needs because you lost your libido or sexual or physical attraction on him? Is he not a God-given spouse anymore? Is that not a marriage from God now? What if you were the woman God is leading to marry a diformed man like Nick Vujicic! Or what if God lead you to marry a difficult person who has mental incapacity or emotional incapacity, or narcs, I just think this sexual attraction thing you are talking about is all mind games, mind over matter that has to be repented off. That is not God's way of marriage and love.
      And how does it feel if your husband is making love with you because of sexual attraction or physical attraction? I wanna know? Coz if my husband would be making love with me because of sexual attraction or physical attraction, it would make me feel like I'm just a beautiful possession in his eyes instead of being appreciated, thanked, enjoyed as who I am (in Christ, flawed but also growing in the grace of God) inside, not my fleshly vessel. Coz what if my fleshly vessel looks old already, or perished with wrinkles, or birth scars, or sun burns, or anyhow you would see fit. That sexual attraction you are talking about can be easily manipulated by demons too, or anything you see in media, or influenced by any evil seductive thoughts. It is doomed to destroy marriage, not build marriage. Unless you repent of it and put it in the right truth of God, you will always destroy your marriages seeking to find something that self destruct even the very little you have.

    • @baronbrutality757
      @baronbrutality757 4 роки тому +8

      @@JeffayyasarmientoZK You are making this far too much about feelings and emotions. It is not about "making love" it is about meeting a physical need. And no Satan has nothing to do with sexual attraction it was Gods idea!

    • @MazBringsby
      @MazBringsby 4 роки тому +1

      @@JeffayyasarmientoZK Don't listen to these people. Sex is not the foundation of marriage.

    • @JeffayyasarmientoZK
      @JeffayyasarmientoZK 4 роки тому +3

      @@baronbrutality757 I think you should hold off being so dismissive on feelings and emotions. Coz to dismiss feelings and emotions is to dismiss sexual attraction. "Sex" alone involves alot of feelings and emotions. "Sexual attraction" involves feelings and emotions, which are mostly manipulated by this world's ideals, beliefs, media, porn, etc. The very things God is sanctifying and transforming us about. And which feelings and emotions are you talking about from those I wrote above?
      And let me understand you here. When we wives are making love or having sex with our own husband, we are not "making love" with our own husband now?
      Aren't husband and wife supposed to be meeting each other's needs in "sex" or "making love"? Reciprocally giving love and reciprocally receiving love in sex? That is meeting each other's needs. And for sex to be equally or reciprocally satisfying and enjoyable, both each other's needs are met right? Or do you see it fit that we wives are just meant to satisfy or meet our own husband's physical needs in sex only? Do you really think this is about you meeting your physical needs only?

    • @JeffayyasarmientoZK
      @JeffayyasarmientoZK 4 роки тому

      @Creeping Deth. Uhhhm, I don't really understand what you just said. I'm sorry american english is not my primary language. So if you are ever trying to be sarcastic to me at anything, I'm sorry I don't really understand.

  • @NoName-zb1gm
    @NoName-zb1gm Рік тому +3

    I never understood this logic and I see it all over the place. I can see a woman being attractive and someone I can see being intimate with without having it be a "sexual" attraction. A sexual attraction implies a person is looking for sex not the whole person. I wish people would stop thinking this way. Too many people have turned down potential partners because they apply this flawed logic.

  • @JohnSmith-bm6zg
    @JohnSmith-bm6zg 2 роки тому +3

    I’ve been searching for this answer for years. Outstanding analysis. A related question I have is that given Jesus teachings on adultery, to what degree an I sinning when I am sexually attracted to other women outside of marriage but don’t act on it. What is “lustful intent”?

    • @benbroughton2151
      @benbroughton2151 5 місяців тому

      When you continually feel attraction and feed it. Seeing a girl who’s attractive and being attractive is okay, but do not continually stare or give in to the desires

  • @shniderp.9156
    @shniderp.9156 3 роки тому +2

    The issue that I have is that I can see a sister in Christ romantically, because I see them as literal sisters. I also feel dirty and sinful when I try to. Can someone please explain.

    • @chieppachat9381
      @chieppachat9381 2 роки тому +3

      She’s a spiritual sister not physically your sister. Your father in Christ or mothers in Christ are not literally your fathers or mothers.

  • @jasonwilliams8321
    @jasonwilliams8321 10 місяців тому +2

    Marriage for love is a fairly new concept. Historically arranged marriages were the norm. Sexual attraction and love developed within the marriage over time. We seem to think nowadays that being madly in love is a prerequisite. However if two people just generally are repulsed by each other it most likely wouldn't work and if that was at the case the arrangers of the marriage usually found different venues for the people in question. I wold say that in the modern context you SHOULD be sexually attracted to the person you are marrying. Historically is was not so important but nowadays there are too many opportunities due to sexual liberation that a person who marry's someone who they are not sexually attracted to would have too much opportunity to step pout and cheat to fulfill the disappointment they are experiencing should the attraction fail to develop.

  • @succotash95
    @succotash95 3 роки тому +4

    What if the man you married came out as gay? And you went 8 months without being intimate. What am I supposed to do then?

  • @holycats8554
    @holycats8554 4 роки тому +2

    Some of these comments are just jaw-dropping.
    God's precious pearl thinks, "sex-object" a worthy thing.
    Junk food drive-throughs, a dime a dozen, found on any street corner.
    Same analogy.

  • @kevindavis4709
    @kevindavis4709 7 місяців тому

    They bypass Jesus saying if you look at a woman with lust you committed adultery within your heart.

    • @qwertz666
      @qwertz666 5 місяців тому

      What about your wife?

    • @danieltakawi9919
      @danieltakawi9919 5 місяців тому

      @@qwertz666 You would look at your wife with adoration, not lust. Lust seeks pleasure for itself, it belittles the other person from a person to merely an object of pleasure. I would hope that most men who have attractive wives know that their wives are not just sex toys.

    • @danieltakawi9919
      @danieltakawi9919 5 місяців тому

      What do you mean by bypassing Jesus? It is Jesus who said that if you look at a woman with lust you have committed adultery with her in your heart.

  • @Kblog777
    @Kblog777 4 роки тому +2

    Given JP’s self identification as a Christian hedonist, I’d have thought he would place a high value on sexual attraction. After all, appreciating beauty (in the 👁 of the beholder), is surely a God-given virtue and pleasure.

  • @angloaust1575
    @angloaust1575 4 роки тому +1

    Before the pop scene came along
    Couples used to engage in close
    Dancing which aroused passions
    Which led to marriage

  • @ih8mcfly
    @ih8mcfly 3 роки тому +2

    So why can’t we have sex before marriage? Wouldn’t that kinda solve this problem?

    • @mrplayboyinternational.1999
      @mrplayboyinternational.1999 2 роки тому

      Finally, a person who actually thinks! Yeah I understand where you're coming from.

    • @melchizedeks.p.dologbay
      @melchizedeks.p.dologbay 2 роки тому +3

      I'd be a fornication and sin. This sin defiles the marital bed and dishonors God. Marry a person who's connected to God, holy and who shares his heavenly virtues that sex alone can't give.

  • @naits7457
    @naits7457 Рік тому

    The marriage to Jesus does not involve erotic intimacy, but spiritual intimacy.
    That is how earthly marriages should be like in order to reflect the heavenly marriage.
    Sexual intercourse should and is only for reproduction, both of which will no longer be in heaven because men and women don't marry or remain married to each other there.

    • @danieltakawi9919
      @danieltakawi9919 5 місяців тому

      Who said married people won't be married in heaven?

    • @ModelJames13
      @ModelJames13 4 місяці тому

      @@danieltakawi9919 The Bible.

    • @nerinok
      @nerinok 4 місяці тому +1

      @@danieltakawi9919 Jesus Christ in Matt 22:30

    • @danieltakawi9919
      @danieltakawi9919 4 місяці тому

      @@nerinok Thank you for the verse. It's weird that marriage wouldn't exist in heaven considering how beautiful it is. So if married people are not married in heaven, then what would their relationship look like?

    • @nerinok
      @nerinok 4 місяці тому

      @@danieltakawi9919 I cant answer fully but i think things will be beautiful, just in a different way. Marriage represents Christ and His Church and in heaven we will be united with Him. If you'd like i can do some more research and get back to you

  • @ashleyoakley2771
    @ashleyoakley2771 4 роки тому +2

    That's stupid. So because arrangements in history, which sadly you seem to agree with,... because of that horrible oppression ... it must be right seriously???!!!!

    • @NaijaCINE
      @NaijaCINE 4 роки тому +14

      That's all you heard in this video?

    • @francisnjenga142
      @francisnjenga142 4 роки тому +16

      He is pointing us to the fact that it should not be the driving force that leads to marriage which is true because sexual attraction can also be easily twisted to lust.

    • @ana______6567
      @ana______6567 4 роки тому +4

      I also thought it was strange to compare those marriages with today's marriages. Marriages in history were pre-ordained by parents for example but were also problematic on so many other levels, women were abused regularly and had no voice whatsoever only by the excuse that they should be "submissive", such an odd comparison, I agree with you

    • @CEOofSleep
      @CEOofSleep 4 роки тому +6

      You missed the point

    • @francisnjenga142
      @francisnjenga142 4 роки тому +4

      @@ana______6567 he didn't say they were better so that wasn't the point he was driving at