How I remove stress: 1. In a world 🌎 full of opinions, I make sure I still know what my own voice sounds like. 2. I assess every problem with: 1. Is anyone dead 2. Is anyone hurt 3. Is there something wrong with my car. If all the answers are no I take a deep breath and my time to make decisions. 3. I pretend like there is no technology and I stop sharing everything even with ppl in my close circle.
Love point number 3. For some reason having access to info about you makes some people feel they have rights over what resources or opportunities YOU have. It's pretty disgusting. I let the public at large believe I have NOTHING going on at all in my life. It's quite refreshing to be able to enjoy what you enjoy without the negative feedback or the external entitlement. Such a welcome peace.
Recovering people pleaser here! I started setting boundaries, now errbody made with me! Lol😂 But my life is now peaceful and less stressful. Did I mention I lost weight and looking good? 😊Thank you for this video! ❤ Edit: that body tensing thing is REAL!!!
I lost my relationship with my mother by saying no to a $400 request. I could tell that she was trying to manipulate me, my instincts told me so. She told me my son owed her money for rent (he had just graduated from college and was barely making any money, yet she was charging him rent). Anyway, I said no and our relationship has been strained ever since. Her nieces (my cousins turned up the volume on shade towards me as well). Baby, my life is so peaceful now that those people are not in my life anymore!
There is SO MUCH happening in the news that genuinely stress me to the core! It’s like I’m watching the world fall apart and I physically feel my heart hurt because of it. MJ, your message was perfectly timed. ❤
I had to deal with family ONLY when ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY when it came to my mother!!!!! I am her caregiver and only speak limited communication!!!!! I have found so much PEACE and quiet from NOISE!!!!! Sometimes you have to let the one you love go, pray for they for safety etc and let go let GOD!!!!! Thanks so much for your support and honesty!!!!
I’m taking my victories where I can. I used to be a people pleaser and it was incredible taxing on me and my mental health. I am saying no a lot more now. I’m learning not to feel bad about putting myself and needs first. It also helped with my anxiety.
That was very good advice. "No" has always been one of my favorite words and since I've retired, I'm sounding more and more like a broken record. It is now music to my ears and a greatest hit🤭.
my attitude is that I don't have to deal with anything that I don't want to,or need to! the block button is my bestest friend! child,I be BLOCKING mfs w/a SWIFTNESS! &&,once you lose me,good luck ever getting me back!✌🏾😘😘😘
One thing about my ex is he knows how to say no. I always try to learn from every mistake or failure and one thing he taught me was no. He say it so well without saying more than no. Halfway through the asking he makes a face and say no. 🤣🤣🤣 now I’m the same way and everyone ran. He was right. I surrounded myself with people who feed off of people pleasers. Not anymore.
You put words on it! My problem. I finally got words for it. I am a people pleaser! Thank you for making me understand my personality. You are so true and I never thought about it this way.
I ORDERED THE BOOK THE MOMENT I COULD GET MY HANDS ON IT, AND HONEY BUNNY'S I LEARNED SO MUCH THAT I CAN USE IN MY EVERY DAY LIFE. THANK YOU MJ FOR ALL THAT YOU DO. YOU ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED AND VALUED.
There's FLAT TIRE stress...stuff we HAVE to deal with...and then, there's this fluff stuff that people try to pull on us. That's what I'm culling out of my life right now. Those situations are designed to blindside us so we are COMPELLED to become the doormat. Do not become the doormat. ❤
My sister lives in st. Thomas it’s the part of the US..she told you’re in real estate you taught your nephew how to be successful she shared with me something changed it’s like I needed this thank you so much blessings M.J I appreciate you ❤🇩🇲🇨🇦🙏
Just this past Thanksgiving I finally had to set boundaries with family members who are selfish who expect everyone to cater to their preferences, not to me they are very toxic and overbearing because they can’t accept “no” for an answer. I am now in self preservation mode and cutting out the toxic people in my life. Peace of mind is everything.
Hi MJ me again, I notice that when you're on the verge of positive change negative stagnation will reappear. That's how you know you're on the right path. Its called "conscious coherence " or when your conscious and sub-conscious is working in tandem/perfection! Thanks MJ for your kind thoughts/words/advice and expertise. Have a beautiful holiday in 2024 and 2025!
Flat footed with my chest out. Only awkward for you 😂😂😂😂😂love it💕 this is my fourth time listening to this lesson MJ. When I tell u how helpful this has been as I am navigating transition and people trying to take advantage. U have been a blessing to me with this one 💯
Amen 🙏🏼 its so important to stop stressing, i stand on this, dont change, trust God, and stay in the moment, its helped me, and thank you Uncle MJ you are the best speaker, and so wise❤❤❤❤❤
This video couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I am dealing with all of these problems and under a tremendous amount of stress when I don’t need to be. Thank you for the advice MJ, I’ll be taking it ❤
I realized that listening to the news everyday was stressing me, it was getting into me a making me tight! So now I only listen 3x a week it's all repeat anyway and I really don't need them to tell me every day 5x a day about all the horrors out there
Talk about family. You speak a lot about couples (good advice). I’d LOVE to hear your insights about siblings, parents, cousins, etc and family dynamics
I have been procrastinating on a project, I have been reaching out to people wanting to hear something to move me and motivate me, and you just enlightened me, yes C's make degrees, I just need to get started. I was procrastinating by trying to read and learn about it before getting going, I'm just going to keep going and trouble shoot as I go. Thank you MJ, and by the way I purchased your book! I love it! I got the audio one!!
I feel like crying , I needed this video more than you can ever imagine… been struggling so long. This is so helpful and the tips are amazing to use IRL
It’s great to say “No!” It’s ok to pause when you can be in tune with your emotions. I no longer deal with emotional constipated folks. Why compromise my emotional state while others are living their best life? I’m now getting it in my 50s
YES MALCOLM YESSS...I recently had a situation where a family member texted to say they needed my advice as I was JUST DOING ME. They got indignant and I ignored them until the horns came outta me. I didn't get crazy then either. I simply replied with 'The next time I need some ME Time I'll check with you' OH that caused them to loose it and they stayed lost to me...LOST & TURNED OUT. I CAN NOT...WILL NOT BE STRESSED NO MO...I didn't get to almost 60 (58 in my current photo) and look like I'm almost 40 by being stressed...AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME 4 THAT. Continue BEING LOVE & GIVING LOVE MALCOM❣️
Thanks, MJ. miss you. This is so true. stress is the number 1 killer, and if it's not controlled . stress does more harm than good, and so how we sit in it with our coffee and tea babysitting our stress. LET IT GO. WILL HELP YOU TO EXPAND YOUR OPTIONS AMD YES IT'S OK TO BE STRESSED FREE.AND HAPPY🎉🎉.❤❤
Absolutely! Managing stress is crucial for our well-being, and it's great to hear you're embracing the idea of letting it go. Cheers to being stress-free and happy!
I stumbled across this video the other day & found time today to tune in. It touched on a lot of examples of how stress is controlling our lives by killing us slowly. I felt bad tuning in bcuz each example resonates w/what I've voluntarily put myself through. I'm learning to give myself credit for analyzing my thoughts before they're placed into action. Thx for this video. You're never too old to learn new healthier habits.
In the past few months، I've been in some challenging period in my life that only god knows how much it was heavy to carry on my chest.. I ended up with an emotional anesthesia I barely got a feeling of joy or sadness it was the same to me although I was a very emotional yet romantic person that treasure life and remarkable experiences! it was all because of being a people pleaser, and keep telling myself that I'm strong and it doesn't matter when really bad and traumatizing things happened to me٫ until I reached the point that I can't handle it anymore and life became literally black and white and emotionalness.. I just wanted to say that mental health is a very important thing and you have to pay attention to what your heart tells you and please stop pleasing people cuz a lot of them won't even care if something bad happen to you! God bless you MJ for this amazing video you posted it in the right time ❤
I learned I can love certain family members, but I don't have to deal with them up close and personal. Since I distance myself from them, my energy been happy. Even tho they're still trying to hurt me by lying to people building a character of me, not me. But I'm focused on God and my health. Yup, they put my health at risk of stress and Gaslighting. 🙏 thank you, MJ, best friend. I can't wait to get my hand on your book❣️
Hello! I tell people all the time and as recently as this morning, that No is my favorite word because it's final. No expectations and now you're on your way to your next option. Also today, my withholding my No for longer than necessary, caused me actual physical discomfort. Once I withdrew myself and explained my discomfort, I felt better almost immediately. I told them that part as well, that they may understand my extent of self care and use it in their life as fact.
It’s hard here…dealing with depression, stress, obsession after tragic death of adult child and no financial support for teen child that I’m currently providing for. It’s wearing on me from all directions ….
I will be ordering the book. PERIODTTT
Thank you!! www.MJHarrisBook.com
@@RudyRome-ze2il Just ordered the audiobook for 1 credit on Audible 😌
My favorite way of saying no is I'm sorry I don't do that anymore
I love that approach!
I love that
I am learning just because I CAN help or do, doesn’t always mean I SHOULD
Anyone with an able mind, are accountable and responsible for their own wellbeing.
THAT PART!!!
Omg...... You know it Sis! Thank you for reminding me.🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing ❤🙌
Burnout is caused by stress as well....gotta learn to unplug and reset!
Same
Been there. It passes if you don’t give up on yourself
How I remove stress:
1. In a world 🌎 full of opinions, I make sure I still know what my own voice sounds like.
2. I assess every problem with: 1. Is anyone dead 2. Is anyone hurt 3. Is there something wrong with my car. If all the answers are no I take a deep breath and my time to make decisions.
3. I pretend like there is no technology and I stop sharing everything even with ppl in my close circle.
Love this!!
This is beautifully stated.
Love point 3
Oh wow I love this ❤
Love point number 3. For some reason having access to info about you makes some people feel they have rights over what resources or opportunities YOU have. It's pretty disgusting. I let the public at large believe I have NOTHING going on at all in my life. It's quite refreshing to be able to enjoy what you enjoy without the negative feedback or the external entitlement. Such a welcome peace.
I Definitely stopped people pleasing, and I'm learning to let people do what they rather do. And lastly I go where the love is!❤️🙏🏽❤️
Sometimes you have to stop playing the hero
Reduce excess work trying to go beyond the call of duty
Say no, even when you are seen as efficient
“No is a complete sentence.” Thank you so much 🙏
Recovering people pleaser here! I started setting boundaries, now errbody made with me! Lol😂
But my life is now peaceful and less stressful. Did I mention I lost weight and looking good? 😊Thank you for this video! ❤
Edit: that body tensing thing is REAL!!!
I lost my relationship with my mother by saying no to a $400 request. I could tell that she was trying to manipulate me, my instincts told me so. She told me my son owed her money for rent (he had just graduated from college and was barely making any money, yet she was charging him rent). Anyway, I said no and our relationship has been strained ever since. Her nieces (my cousins turned up the volume on shade towards me as well). Baby, my life is so peaceful now that those people are not in my life anymore!
My best way to keep stress out my life I don't communicate with them anymore, and second I stay silent and don't 🔊. I keep it moving.
There is SO MUCH happening in the news that genuinely stress me to the core! It’s like I’m watching the world fall apart and I physically feel my heart hurt because of it. MJ, your message was perfectly timed. ❤
@@marykranberry yes same 😣
I don't watch the news for those reasons.
I had to deal with family ONLY when ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY when it came to my mother!!!!! I am her caregiver and only speak limited communication!!!!! I have found so much PEACE and quiet from NOISE!!!!! Sometimes you have to let the one you love go, pray for they for safety etc and let go let GOD!!!!! Thanks so much for your support and honesty!!!!
I’m taking my victories where I can. I used to be a people pleaser and it was incredible taxing on me and my mental health. I am saying no a lot more now. I’m learning not to feel bad about putting myself and needs first. It also helped with my anxiety.
That was very good advice. "No" has always been one of my favorite words and since I've retired, I'm sounding more and more like a broken record. It is now music to my ears and a greatest hit🤭.
my attitude is that I don't have to deal with anything that I don't want to,or need to! the block button is my bestest friend! child,I be BLOCKING mfs w/a SWIFTNESS! &&,once you lose me,good luck ever getting me back!✌🏾😘😘😘
Yes indeed!!❤
So true.
I agree. I've even blocked my own husband I live with, and my mother
Thank Thank
I am currently going through therapy and also not engaging with toxic people
One thing about my ex is he knows how to say no. I always try to learn from every mistake or failure and one thing he taught me was no. He say it so well without saying more than no. Halfway through the asking he makes a face and say no. 🤣🤣🤣 now I’m the same way and everyone ran. He was right. I surrounded myself with people who feed off of people pleasers. Not anymore.
You put words on it! My problem. I finally got words for it. I am a people pleaser! Thank you for making me understand my personality. You are so true and I never thought about it this way.
I ORDERED THE BOOK THE MOMENT I COULD GET MY HANDS ON IT, AND HONEY BUNNY'S I LEARNED SO MUCH THAT I CAN USE IN MY EVERY DAY LIFE. THANK YOU MJ FOR ALL THAT YOU DO. YOU ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED AND VALUED.
Thank you so much!
There's FLAT TIRE stress...stuff we HAVE to deal with...and then, there's this fluff stuff that people try to pull on us.
That's what I'm culling out of my life right now. Those situations are designed to blindside us so we are COMPELLED to become the doormat.
Do not become the doormat. ❤
No lies told and I’m trying to have faith and avoid it as possible. Easier said than done!
If it doesn't work it doesn't work‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
My sister lives in st. Thomas it’s the part of the US..she told you’re in real estate you taught your nephew how to be successful she shared with me something changed it’s like I needed this thank you so much blessings M.J I appreciate you ❤🇩🇲🇨🇦🙏
Thanks for sharing, I will definitely implement somethings you recommended.
I’m saying NO🌹❤️🖐🏾🖐🏾🖐🏾
Absolutely well said don't let anyone or anything stress you it's not worth it at all take care of yourself always
Hi 👋🏾 Everyone! This is so true. Thank you, MJ! You’re the best. ❤
Just this past Thanksgiving I finally had to set boundaries with family members who are selfish who expect everyone to cater to their preferences, not to me they are very toxic and overbearing because they can’t accept “no” for an answer. I am now in self preservation mode and cutting out the toxic people in my life. Peace of mind is everything.
Hi MJ me again, I notice that when you're on the verge of positive change negative stagnation will reappear. That's how you know you're on the right path. Its called "conscious coherence " or when your conscious and sub-conscious is working in tandem/perfection! Thanks MJ for your kind thoughts/words/advice and expertise. Have a beautiful holiday in 2024 and 2025!
Love your energy
Flat footed with my chest out. Only awkward for you 😂😂😂😂😂love it💕 this is my fourth time listening to this lesson MJ. When I tell u how helpful this has been as I am navigating transition and people trying to take advantage. U have been a blessing to me with this one 💯
I’m glad for this video because it makes me know that No, is not a bad word
A gift of clarity ... yes, yes, yes.
Thank you for this. When I get stressed I drink and overeat. I needed this!
I overeat 😓
Good evening, so true I sometimes take on additional stress trying to please people.
This topic is soooooo important...MJ this should be a series!
Amen 🙏🏼 its so important to stop stressing, i stand on this, dont change, trust God, and stay in the moment, its helped me, and thank you Uncle MJ you are the best speaker, and so wise❤❤❤❤❤
This video couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I am dealing with all of these problems and under a tremendous amount of stress when I don’t need to be. Thank you for the advice MJ, I’ll be taking it ❤
I needed this, gifting myself your book💕. Investing in myself for once! Thank you 🙏🏾.
I got rid of my stress and didn't realize how it was killing me. I retired in July and never felt better.❤. He is so on point❤
I find it very rude to question someone´s "No" to me that´s crossing a very clear boundary.
Agreed. No means no , and yes means yes
People are just so comfortable with doing things they want to, until they are cut off then they act like they are entitled to it
I realized that listening to the news everyday was stressing me, it was getting into me a making me tight! So now I only listen 3x a week it's all repeat anyway and I really don't need them to tell me every day 5x a day about all the horrors out there
Talk about family. You speak a lot about couples (good advice). I’d LOVE to hear your insights about siblings, parents, cousins, etc and family dynamics
You have a gift. You always help me when I listen to you. Happy holidays
I have been procrastinating on a project, I have been reaching out to people wanting to hear something to move me and motivate me, and you just enlightened me, yes C's make degrees, I just need to get started. I was procrastinating by trying to read and learn about it before getting going, I'm just going to keep going and trouble shoot as I go. Thank you MJ, and by the way I purchased your book! I love it! I got the audio one!!
I really need this, thank you have I been suffering with panic attacks every day for over a year 😢
Wow. You can at the right time
MJ I haven’t seen your videos in over a year! So glad I came across you again. Your older videos used to make me feel so motivated.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👏👏👏👏👏i started setting healthy boundaries,I stop pleasing ppl and started pleasing myself ‼️‼️‼️‼️
Right on Bro! I hear you! I tell this to my clients all the time! I'm a Therapist.
I feel like crying , I needed this video more than you can ever imagine… been struggling so long. This is so helpful and the tips are amazing to use IRL
I'm so glad!
The right time for the video, thanks ❤️ God bless
Thanks I shift my emotions and I work with affirmations that attract the best for me.😊😊😊
It’s great to say “No!” It’s ok to pause when you can be in tune with your emotions. I no longer deal with emotional constipated folks. Why compromise my emotional state while others are living their best life? I’m now getting it in my 50s
I'm at the beginning of my fifth decade of life. May each year get better and better as we evolve. Amen! 🙏🏾🥲
You HAVE to take care of self first!
Set boundaries! take care of your mental health It is sooo important
Be blessed✨
I love this and I so needed to hear it ❤
Oh my God I felt that way too no more MJ I refused to put myself in any harmful situations or to be with toxic men thank you 🙏
YES MALCOLM YESSS...I recently had a situation where a family member texted to say they needed my advice as I was JUST DOING ME. They got indignant and I ignored them until the horns came outta me. I didn't get crazy then either. I simply replied with 'The next time I need some ME Time I'll check with you' OH that caused them to loose it and they stayed lost to me...LOST & TURNED OUT.
I CAN NOT...WILL NOT BE STRESSED NO MO...I didn't get to almost 60 (58 in my current photo) and look like I'm almost 40 by being stressed...AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME 4 THAT.
Continue BEING LOVE & GIVING LOVE MALCOM❣️
Thank you, thank you. MR. Harris ❤
Thanks, MJ. miss you. This is so true. stress is the number 1 killer, and if it's not controlled . stress does more harm than good, and so how we sit in it with our coffee and tea babysitting our stress. LET IT GO. WILL HELP YOU TO EXPAND YOUR OPTIONS AMD YES IT'S OK TO BE STRESSED FREE.AND HAPPY🎉🎉.❤❤
Absolutely! Managing stress is crucial for our well-being, and it's great to hear you're embracing the idea of letting it go. Cheers to being stress-free and happy!
I needed to hear this message.Blessings to you Mj
Young man you are so correct and am so glad you are bringing this awareness to your audience baby. Please continue the good fight, blessings ❤
Hey , I didn’t realized how much I missed you until I saw you on my feed. Keep on Keeping on. You are amazing!
Thank you!
Thank you MJ!!!! I have received a so much info from you.
Thank you boss for this on time word
The timing, MJ…gratitude 🙏🏾🌹♥️
Thank you for this message🙏🏽❤️
So true. Yes I can relate to everything in this video
I'm glad to hear that you can relate! It's always nice to know we're all in this together.
Yes so true 💯
This is such a valueable video.Keep up the good work.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽you said that
This is why I love MJ, Thank you thank you!
Thank you MJ ❤
Sho you rite! THANKS MJ!! 🙏🏽😊🙏🏽
Just bought your book. You have amazing energy and advice.
I wish you were there when I was growing up im just now learning and realizing at 25… its sad
Dear One, you're learning your lessons now....thats what matters. Its never too late to learn. Stsy blessed up.🙏🏾💜😊💫
GRATITUDE 👑 💜 for this video 🙏🏾
I stumbled across this video the other day & found time today to tune in. It touched on a lot of examples of how stress is controlling our lives by killing us slowly. I felt bad tuning in bcuz each example resonates w/what I've voluntarily put myself through. I'm learning to give myself credit for analyzing my thoughts before they're placed into action. Thx for this video. You're never too old to learn new healthier habits.
❤
Good Evening Everyone
💯💯💯💯💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 ABSOLUTELY THE TRUTH MJ 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾 THANK YOU!!!
I appreciate you and the time you put into making these valuable videos for us to improve our life! Thank you so much !!!!! ❤
❤❤yes , don't force anything 😊😊❤
Have not seen you in so long and my goodness you look younger. You must be happy with your new move last I heard you had relocated.***
In the past few months، I've been in some challenging period in my life that only god knows how much it was heavy to carry on my chest.. I ended up with an emotional anesthesia I barely got a feeling of joy or sadness it was the same to me although I was a very emotional yet romantic person that treasure life and remarkable experiences! it was all because of being a people pleaser, and keep telling myself that I'm strong and it doesn't matter when really bad and traumatizing things happened to me٫ until I reached the point that I can't handle it anymore and life became literally black and white and emotionalness.. I just wanted to say that mental health is a very important thing and you have to pay attention to what your heart tells you and please stop pleasing people cuz a lot of them won't even care if something bad happen to you!
God bless you MJ for this amazing video you posted it in the right time ❤
Had to hit the like button 🔥🔥🔥🔥❤
Thanks for hitting that like button! Every click helps support the channel!
I learned I can love certain family members, but I don't have to deal with them up close and personal. Since I distance myself from them, my energy been happy. Even tho they're still trying to hurt me by lying to people building a character of me, not me. But I'm focused on God and my health. Yup, they put my health at risk of stress and Gaslighting. 🙏 thank you, MJ, best friend. I can't wait to get my hand on your book❣️
Hello! I tell people all the time and as recently as this morning, that No is my favorite word because it's final. No expectations and now you're on your way to your next option. Also today, my withholding my No for longer than necessary, caused me actual physical discomfort. Once I withdrew myself and explained my discomfort, I felt better almost immediately. I told them that part as well, that they may understand my extent of self care and use it in their life as fact.
MJ I love you and your content. All of it!
Your kind words mean the world to me! Thank you for being such an amazing supporter!
Thank you MJ...you are a blessing to ME ❤
Who or wath, No more stress.period❤
It’s hard here…dealing with depression, stress, obsession after tragic death of adult child and no financial support for teen child that I’m currently providing for. It’s wearing on me from all directions ….
Definitley releasing control. Toxic habit in how you deal with your life and the ever evolving events around you.
Love love love your content
I so appreciate you ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤amen 🙌🏾🙏🏾 Im blocking all none growing factors
Great video!
Wonderful commentary 👍
Thank you for the message MJ! Also, I loved your book!
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO
thank you MJ!!! 💓💓💓