The 4 Big Benefits of Being a Highly Sensitive Person
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- Опубліковано 22 лис 2023
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Many people thing being sensitive is a weakness. You may have even been told more than once that you are "too sensitive" and you've seen this as a bad thing. But the truth is, the world needs sensitive people, and being sensitive is not a flaw or a weakness - it is actually one of your biggest strengths.
In this talk, I teach you what a highly sensitive person is, what are some of the biggest strengths about being an HSP are and how to lean in and use those strengths.
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ABOUT JULIA:
Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her UA-cam channel have been watched more than 15 million times and she has built a community of over 375,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.
Visit Julia Kristina's web site: juliakristina.com/
As an (improving) constant worrier who just wants to hug everyone who needs one, sending one out here, because why not :)
As a fellow (improving) constant worrier, I’ll gladly take it! 🤗
What we aren't taught is this worrying is not 'you', it's brain wiring that is automatic. All you need do is recognise when there's worry and remember it's the brain trying to dictate to reality snd it's normal, it's not 'you' and it's here you can apply compassion for yourself.
Sending a big, warm hug right back at you! 🤗
This is literally watering my heart. It’s easy to feel alone as an HSP. Thank you for this. I feel so seen and understood.
You are not alone - here we all are with you!
What's watering your heart? Did you mean literally literally or just that weird literally that people use when they don't mean literally and just makes it more confusing? Either way I wonder.
Can totally relate. As an HSP the biggest struggle for me apart from overstimulation been: loneliness and feeling misunderstood.
Self-acceptance is so important. Connecting with other HSPs helps a lot I think. That's because when we have people around us who get us, who accept us instantly as a result we self-accept ourselves ❤
@@kierlak true! When someone makes you accept and love yourself more 🥺
I’m not ashamed of being a highly sensitive person Julia.
I can identify with all you had to say, however, the more I am around those lacking sensitivity I seem to pull away from them. I did walk away with more awareness after listening to your vid and understand more about myself, but more than not I choose to be a recluse. Some seem to tell me things that are wrong with me, never looking at themselves. I refrain from telling them what I really think about them, easier for me to stay alone.Thank you for your video!! All the best to you!
Wow do I ever relate to this. The older I get the less tolerant I get with people who seem completely devoid of sensitivity. I don’t understand people that lack the ability to look at themselves objectively, something I am constantly doing. Intense self-awareness is just second nature to me. Like you I often go into hermit mode. I suppose I needed to hear that those types of people aren’t flawed, it is what it is. Still it’s difficult to have them in your inner circle because you feel like you’re screaming into a void and end up exhausting each other. I often feel that I’m too much for some so I just shut down. Thankfully I have my dad, brother, and son to ponder the universe with! We can create a deep conversation about a block of wood. 😂
I could have written what both of you have said, word for word @@meh_lady
I really relate to this too.
I told my husband that I like being by myself, people are draining to me.
@@Cindy54504 Me too!
Super painful, too.
Now I feel good about being an HSP . Thanks Julia ❤
It's a gift from GOD!!!!! He created each and every one of us for is purpose!!
Being highly sensitive I actually was suicidal in high school. People can be extremely cruel. But now I know that there also are many good people who are understanding and compassionate. You cannot make yourself less sensitive, so now I have learned to embrace it.
I'm so sorry to hear that you felt suicidal at such a vulnerable and young age. Not to say feeling suicidal is easy at any age, it is extremely difficult, painful, and isolating. No one should have to endure that pain alone. I'm glad to hear you've crossed paths with people who are more caring and compassionate. High school can be such a boiler room and it is not a safe space for so many sensitive kids and youth.
Yeah, high school was a lifetime ago. Now I am 54.@@NeseretBemient and I do not go to high school reunions 😂
@@mollieanne Me neither! I’m 43 and you wouldn’t pay me a million dollars to go to a high school reunion lol 😂
Maybe we can hangout instead when it is our high school reunion ha ha. Last summer was my 35th! But of course did not go ha ha@@NeseretBemient Actually, I dropped out of high school, but then went to college and earned my Masters in teaching. I know weird since I hated school.
Being highly sensitive can lead to remorse in instances where one acts out of anger and causes harm to others.Watching from Kampala, Uganda (Africa
Oh Julia, this was just what I needed to hear right now! Recently at work I was shamed and described as being ‘too nice’ by a manager for helping a guest in a particular way (it benefited them and gave great joy to me, so I remain sure I did the right thing), and it’s been very triggering for me. How can one be too nice or too sensitive in what can be a harsh and merciless world? I love your wise, balanced and positive perspective on this. We need all kinds of people in this world, and I too would not trade my empathy, sensitivity and creativity for anything!
What bugs me most is the shaming around it and I’m still learning how to deal with insensitive comments around my sensitivity 😆 Would it be possible please to do a video on how to respectfully yet assertively respond to comments like ‘You’re too nice’ or ‘too sensitive’? Thank you Julia, you are delight to watch and listen to! Love from Bath in England 🛁
I resonate with this so much too, Anna! Your comment describes how I feel so well. I too have had similar situations in my job where I have been described as, "too nice" and "too sensitive". Thanks for sharing. It's nice to know I am not alone. I also would love to learn more about how to handle these comments in a graceful and assertive manner. It's a great suggestion for a future video..
@@erinseward Ah thank you Erin! It’s a comfort to me to know I’m not alone in this either 😊 I get it from my family sometimes too and it’s frustrating. I wish there were more people like you around in my ‘real’ life!
@@erinseward Also, the irony is that the people who say this to me tend to be the ones I perceive as lacking manners and being too blunt/harsh with people. But I wouldn’t tell them that because… I’m too nice 😆
@@annamallard2730 😆
@@annamallard2730 I often hear the same comments from family members as well. It can be very disheartening. Have you seen the documentary, Sensitive: The Untold Story? It's pretty neat. I found I resonated with many things discussed and explained within the film. There is a psychologist who is in the film who specializes in the field of psychology where she did clinical research taking a closer look at sensitive people and she has authored a book I'd like to read. 😊
Hi Julia Kristina, M.A. Psych! Senior Shifter Chris here!
The 4 Big Benefits of Being a Highly Sensitive Person
I LOVED this video! This video just reminded me that being a HSP does mean that I do have strengths and that it felt good to know that I am not alone.
When you said you are sensitive to brighter lights and only use lamp lights - that is ME! I ONLY use my lamp light and I like the warmer color lights too! I hardly ever use my main bedroom light. That felt very validating!
Does anyone else only use lamp lights too?
I also acknowledge that yes, I do cry and getting over the shame that “men do not cry”.
In fact, I made it a tradition to watch Disney’s Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993) The Wednesday before Thanksgiving. If anyone has ever seen this movie, it has a tearjerker ending. It doesn’t matter, if I had seen this movie 100s of times, I still get choked up.
I think this is what makes me want to connect, read other people's feelings and want to be supportive to others. This is one of my strengths and I think it is a beautiful one! I celebrate this! 🎉
Here are my notes:
*There is nothing wrong with you being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person).
*Society values the warriors, the fighters and people who can handle emotional stress
*We also NEED the nurtures, the creators, the dreamers and empaths and sensitive souls.
*We NEEED BOTH types of people.
*HSP feels things DEEPER and BIGGER than those who are less sensitive.
*All HPS SENSES are more sensitive. (Sound, taste, lighting, other people's moods)
4 BIG Benefits of being an HSP:
1. HSPs tend to be more emotionally sensitive. (read other people's feeling and tune into them and give and provide comfort)
2. Sensory sensitivity (Because of being more sensitive in our senses, we can sense danger and see, feel, smell things that are not right)
3.HSPs are deep thinkers and processors (Enriched world to think about and process and to contemplate and to create.)
4. HSPs are intuitive (Can pick up subtle cues in environment, in others, and within themselves)
"Our intuition is the place where heads are, and our hearts meet." - Dr. Brene Brown
Being an HSP does and can make some things more challenging, but it does make some things much better.
There is NO SHAME being an HSP.
It is part of our genetic makeup.
We can accept and love that.
We work on the parts that make being an HSP more challenging, and we celebrate and lean into the parts that make it amazing.
Let's all celebrate being an HSP! To those it applies to, Happy Thanksgiving!
Great stuff, Chris! 👍 I always see you under Julia’s videos, just wanted to say I think you’re great is all! 🫰❤️📝💟
Jw
@jaylaw.7660 Aww, thanks. I really appreciate that. I started taking notes for myself, but I thought it might help others, too. 😀
I cry at movies that are tear-jerkers Julia like The Lost Valentine with Betty White.
Omg, for the last sixty years I have been criticised for being too sensitive. In the last ten years, I have accepted my sensitivity and don’t care, even when my family criticised me. You are a breath of fresh air. Thank you so much.
I cry hearing the church hymn On Eagle’s Wings Julia.
I still cry watching ET Julia.
I’m a highly-sensitive person Julia.
I can identify with that so much. Because I have all those feelings and sauce, and I worry about other people like that. It’s in my spirit. It’s how I feel about things.
I love warmly lit lamp lights myself Julia.
I love being an HSP. I wouldn't want to change it for anything, even if it may be more painful to live this life.
I rather feel too much than feel nothing or being insensitive.
And I gained so much from my appreciation of art. The beauty of it and the expression of humanity in it.
I feel closest to divinity when I can feel it being manifested in the creative expressions of various art forms.
I have a very rich inner life, and I don't even need to get out of my house. I never feel bored.
Used to cry on movie scenes that were deemed more emotional in school while my classmates didn't. I tend to wonder why they just don't feel the same way as I do. I also don't like killing bugs and instead, catch and release them outside. I am happy to be a highly sensitive person as it makes me more empathetic to those around me.
My goodness!!! I am so glad I found a place where someone gets me. I remember crying in movies going back to when I was maybe 5yrs old? I was very young. The show was when snoopy ran away from home. I was devastated along with Charlie Brown and Snoopy. I have been this way all my life my kids use to tease me so would my friends. I would leave the room if I couldn’t hold back the tears. I understand this isn’t necessarily a HSP but in my reflection going back it was a marker for me to begin to understand my own sensitivities. The other things I would do I never thought anything of it I thought I was “normal” or that “it” was until someone brought it to my attention. You just “be” who you are until after time and the emotional roller coasters etc….The deep thinking omg!!! That’s me too…I’ve had someone comment on that from a negative perspective that wasn’t accurate again I’m just “being” me. I’m going to keep this video so I can remember everything you’ve said here and about accepting myself as I am. I use to try really hard to change my sensitivities especially the ones where it would bring me to tears. I gave it up quickly because it was “easier” to cry or feel than it was to try and turn it off (so painful)……
I’m a deep thinker and a deep processor Julia.
I’m feeling good about being an HSP Julia.
*"Blinded by self-importance....... the visionaries of society haven't the vision of a blind musician nor the perception of a churchmouse_"*
cc. 2003
Most people miss the details in life. I have been a warrior as well as a compassionate listener.
*"Genius Creates; Others Imitate"*
cc. 2004
Extroverted HSP here and I feel seen!
My brother Bryant has told me that I’m to sensitive Julia.
Being a male HSP can be challenging because people don't expect men to be so. Took me a good 40 years to learn and start accepting myself...
People have all kinds of weird/bizarre expectations of boys and men, beside of course expecting you to be the typical astronaut-billionaire-cowboy. lol What do you mean it is unreasonable? Why can't you just be a perfect little boy and man??? At the same time be a million other contradictory things!!!!
The Highly Sensitive Man book by Tom Falkenstein really helped me.
@@kierlak thanks a lot bro, def. going to check it out 💫
Thank you for sharing this! I am highly sensitive and I am just learning to accept this part of me :)
That’s me! ❤
I’m an HSP Julia.
Sometimes I can go around ruining things because of my sensitivity😪. What an incredibly validating and moving video. I love it! Thank you Julia. :)
I’m also very intuitive Julia.
It's good and encouraging to hear you talk about this, no doubt you've probably read or heard about Elaine Aron's research and books on HSPs.
I support this, I love it, this conversation... helping like people make sense of who they are, why they are...
Though I wish more men would talked about this.
Thank you for this 🙏🏾 much love 💗
Thanks for your thoughtful comment - and stick around these parts because I will be talking a lot more about it here.
The Highly Sensitive Man book by Tom Falkenstein really helped me. Very well written.
You are such a quality gal, Julia. Love your heart and insight
Wow. What a well-thought out and cogent video Mrs. Kristina. You rock as always!
Of corse, being an HSP, this video had me on the verge of tears. It’s pretty much a daily internal struggle to be an introvert and an HSP. But it’s nice to hear some good things about this type of personality ☺️
I’m also an introverted HSP and this message got me, too. People mentally exhaust me yet I feel a huge emotional pull toward them and always want to make their troubles go away. Just the thought of someone suffering even the slightest bit shreds me. My sister always says that I may be the younger one, but I’m the big sister. 😊
@@meh_lady You have a beautiful, strong, and loving heart🙂
I am a shy and overly sensitive person and yes, for years, even into adulthood, I was embarrassed about it, and felt that it wasn't a manly way to be. I actually hurt, in my heart, for others.
I am very sensitive to loud sounds and extreme light. My own children, who have yet to understand their dad have gotten so mad at me, because I had difficulty tolerating the screaming of my grand-children. They thought that I disliked them. Not at all, I loved them so very much and understood that they were just being children and enjoying life.
I had a counselor who once asked me what I truly wanted in life. I know that she expected a totally different and was very surprised when I said "I just want people to try to understand me". I am finally learning to accept and embrace the fact of being an OSP, but still ask for the Lord's help in understanding why the world never will. Having a strong INFJ personally doesn't help much either.
Oh yes, when I was younger, despite how shy or lacking in confidence that I was, I was the TOTAL REVERSE in athletics. Aggressive, confident, unafraid of anything or anyone. When playing football, with friends or any walk-ons that wanted to play, I always chose the players that nobody wanted. We generally won all those games because of them, not in spite of them. The other team would never take them seriously, thus not covering them as they should, therefore I was able to hit them time and time again with passes. They may never have made a touchdown, but they were always very instrumental in getting us up the field.
Love your talks....
I’m an HSP Julia and I’m an introvert.
I love lamp light too Julia.
Omg I love you for saying these thing. I'm feeling much more comfortable in my skin now. ❤❤❤
My brother Bryant just doesn’t seem to get bothered by to much Julia.
I’m intuitive Julia.
I felt like when I gave advice to my ex-friend Becky Keena she never took it and just complained Julia.
Thank you for defining an HSP....I fit that description too. Always enjoy your videos, thanks for caring about all of us.
I automatically liked your video without watching it first. I will definitely watch your video this weekend!
Merci beaucoup! Love and gratitude from Gatineau/Ottawa
My mother doesn’t seem to get bothered by to much Julia.
It is sometimes difficult to get other people to believe that HSP is real! I asked a friend (Tom) if our mutual friend, Sarah was, OK? Her high-energy self seemed muted. Tom didn't notice anything. Two months later Sarah told all of us that she had breast cancer. (She is doing much better, after the medical treatment, thank you.) The HSP will often have to follow their star wherever it takes them.
Sometimes people need time to just process information, especially such a challenging news. I'm glad your friend has someone like you who deeply cares about her.
I was MVP in three sports as a senior in high school AND in football senior year in college.
I tried to be a leader by good example. Like you, I wanted the last teammate to feel included. I had no real need to feel superior to others--- this lead to these MVP awards voted on by my teammates.
I always placed high in elementary school in *"working well with others."*
I feel good about being an HSP Julia.
Wow. Maybe I don't know myself as well as I thought I did. This is the second video I've watched and my mind is a little blown by how these things apply so directly to me. So much that I never realized about myself. Very good explanations in the videos and sure does give a positive feeling unlike what I've experienced.
Thank you so much ❤
Thank you!
Thank you! 😊
Thanks for letting me know it is ok to be an HSP.
All of this is familiar. Struggled with deep emotions all my life. Just learning how to deal with them in the last few years of watching your videos.
I'm the sensitive one that would get questioned about it making me want to hide it but you're right, it can't happen 😂.
Crazy thing this video finds me in tears feeling deeply about not even sure what but I know it's a lot. It's Thanksgiving here and guess I just miss a lot of what might have been if I didn't hide away.
Thanks for all your help!
Your hair looks great btw.
And I am very grateful for all of what you have done to improve my connection with myself.
Thank you.
🦃 Happy Thanksgiving 🦃
I can so relate to what you're saying... but we are "ok, just the way we are.. "
I love you. Thank you.
Love you Julia
You always make me feel better ❤
Absolutely brilliant video. I haven’t heard anyone say this. It needed saying.
So back to the first thing that you mentioned. Yes I look around at the moms and I think to myself how can you manage all of that staying awake cooking cleaning etc.
When I was younger yes I was very sensitive with my inner self and everyone around me they all laughed at me. Yes even to this day I still beat my self up and now I am thinking to myself is that why I am depressed all the time and have anxiety all the time?
I've watched many, many of your videos. Thank you so very much. They have been very helpful to me.
Great video! Needed this! I am getting much better at letting things roll off my back. My husband can really let things roll off his back. I do think by turning 60 that was the magic number.
Have a very happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
Spot on! She described me to a tee. I don’t feel alone anymore. Thank you sooo much!♥️
Me 100%, thanks for your channel, you are always on point in every video!
I love you, Julia! Thanks for all the good work and all the content you put out constantly, you are a beast- I love you, girl!!
Jw🎉❤
😘🥰😍
since i was a kid I had light sensitivity, smell and taste and great hearing..
Happy Thanksgiving Julia!! Thank you for this. Growing up, I always thought that it was a curse to be a highly sensitive male, because society frowns upons this, and I was made fun of for it, and called names.
It’s so rough others don’t appreciate us.
Same
Can relate to a lot of this, but a some of it is similar to autism. Especially the feeling things more than most people, and that is always a blessing and a curse. Cause good things feel really good and bad things feels really bad. And it seems I can enjoy taste and smell more than most, but then it also makes me more picky. And the hyper empathy and wanting to include people in a group. But then the autism makes me not relate to some social aspects mentioned. I do not feel good about being HSP, and I would for sure trade... In general I think really bad things are worse than really good things are good. Something I think everyone should agree with.
D O E S
D - Depth of Processing
O - Overstimulation
E - Emotional Reactivity
S - Sensory Processing Sensitivity
For anyone interested in a deeper dive on the HSP subject, I recommend the book "Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person". It's meant for clinicians working with HSP patients, but you can apply the knowledge to learn about yourself.
Thank you for sharing that resources. I think I will check it out. The DOES acronym is spot on! It sounds like a very good tool for clinicians to understand clients as well as the themselves. The first patient on the operating table is always our own self.
I cannot work in an open plan office, am retired now but for years I couldn't understand why I couldn't tune out any distractions. I lost jobs because of all the mistakes I made.
Request: Could you please make a video about being hurt over social media unfollowing/unfriending? I live in constant fear/anxiety of people removing me. I never post anything, so I know it's not because I'm saturating people's feeds or being annoying. It just hurts me that people can't even stand to have me quietly on their friend list and have to actively remove me. I feel like this is kind of a niche topic. Most people don't care and say "it's just Facebook", but for me it really feels like a kick in the guts. :(
Someone has told me that I’m to sensitive.
Can you make a video on toxic bully elder brother one has to live with. And theres no parents.
I cry watching soap operas if the storyline is sad.
Weirdly, i get emotional when i watch certain milestones relating to Elon Musk's rocket launches. Last flight the other day in tears. Not because it exploded, but just the fact its such a great achievement and a privilege to witness. Did the same when he landed his first few rockets. Sounds silly really......Feel the same watching certain movies or if i see people or animals mistreated.
This was good to hear, thanks Julia.
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It's so hard😢
An HSP will never be accused of being an insensitive jerk. That seems like the unofficial fifth benefit.
I am an HSP...my whole life people have made fun of me for being so emotional and a deep thinker/ feeler.
I am overwhelmed and overestimated easily.
I have been shunned and am alone.
Sensitive to light too I have like 10 lamps...lol
🥰❤💛💜
Yeah. Our society values mostly narcissists. People who have zero empathy. They're the leaders most of the time. I get it, people like that bring a lot to the table. But "Sensitive Souls" are also needed in our world.
I can’t worry about my ex-friend Becky Keena Julia.
🤔its gret julia that u r just like me , worrying for other soals, suffering .
But why dont you worry for poor animals brutally killed for humans Taste ??????? 😢😢😢😢😢😢
HSP sounds exactly like autism. the two labels need to be combined in my opinion. the experience and traits are the same. Ive heard that FMRI imaging shows the same brain differences. the main difference i see between HSP and autistics is that the HSP label has less stigma. forwatd thinking autistics have a stronger social movement, stronger identity and a rich culture.
HSP and Autism are not the same thing. There is some overlap but many differences too. Same with ADHD.
I work in mental health with all sorts of clients. As an HSP I connect well with people who have autism and/or ADHD but definitely I feel very different in many areas.
@@kierlak Im glad you are a doctor. i hope you are working to move away from pathologizing medical models of disease and disabilty. i do not intend to ruffle your feathers, but everyone has the right to choose their own identity. if you feel like HSP describes your experience- then you are HSP. If it's not a perfect fit, I think the next smart move would be to look into the autistic experience. the autistic people that I know think that HSP is just autism light - or people who aren't comfortable with the word "autistic".
There are literally no benefits to being highly sensitive at all. It's a very dangerous way to exist
I'm worried for the homeless, bc u gave them "ur change", and that is not hardly enough for somebody in the street. You need to be more caring and compassionate.