Best DRINKING Jokes | Stand-Up Compilation

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 652

  • @debranielsen2002
    @debranielsen2002 4 роки тому +115

    I flip back and forth on UA-cam between Jim Gaffigan and Michael McIntyre just so I can find some joy in these rough times. They never let me down.

    • @krackNsmackk
      @krackNsmackk 3 роки тому +5

      I'd rather rewatch Jim's standup then ever watch Michaels stand up any day of the week.

    • @alysononoahu8702
      @alysononoahu8702 3 роки тому +4

      Sarah Millican
      Tom papa

    • @jasonradford1768
      @jasonradford1768 2 роки тому +5

      Check out Tim Hawkins. He's absolutely hilarious and very talented on the guitar also

    • @nikkijubilant
      @nikkijubilant 9 місяців тому

      Thanks for the other name, I will check him out

    • @bigmacjunkie
      @bigmacjunkie 8 місяців тому

      Nate Bargatze is great

  • @thomasadams196
    @thomasadams196 Рік тому +31

    Your fantastic Jim! My wife recently passed away. watching you takes me away from my sorrow even if it's only for little while. Thanks Jim you now have another follower.

  • @YouTube_User_9
    @YouTube_User_9 2 роки тому +52

    This guy is such a good comedian, funny years ago, funny now. I swear he will never run out of material.

    • @yourface3154
      @yourface3154 2 роки тому

      What material? The totally under-used hot pocket joke?

    • @aazhie
      @aazhie Рік тому +3

      @@yourface3154 why are you here? Go watch a comedian you like. Life is too short to waste on bashing harmless fun xD

  • @ghosted1662
    @ghosted1662 4 роки тому +27

    JIm Gaffigan is my favorite comedian now. Thanks for releasing these compilations. Jesus, do I need a reason to laugh. Breakup, pandemic, job searching, crazy family. Thank you. This is medicine! Medicinal comedy should be a thing.

  • @philwright2480
    @philwright2480 2 роки тому +20

    The bar, nursery comparison is hilarious, spot on

  • @KazamYoutube
    @KazamYoutube 2 роки тому +20

    The Christmas bit literally had me on the floor, the rest of the video kept me there.
    Sooooo good Jim, thanks for doing what you do. So awesome.

  • @patricklaw9951
    @patricklaw9951 3 роки тому +20

    Jim Gaffigan has got to be the king of comedy !!! Funny !!!

  • @desleykakoulidisgallaway3382
    @desleykakoulidisgallaway3382 2 роки тому +46

    You’re a legend Jim- total genius. Amazing humour ❤

  • @kevs6402
    @kevs6402 4 роки тому +106

    Nice to see someone from those early days who actually made it. Well done Jim.

  • @johngardner1898
    @johngardner1898 4 роки тому +45

    We like you Jim, and always have. Now we love and respect you!!! You are a courageous and honorable man. And hilarious!

  • @ShiftingDrifter
    @ShiftingDrifter 4 роки тому +654

    I was a new father and once went through a convenience store checkout with diapers and beer. The cashier laughed and said, "Wow, diapers and beer... you're either a new dad or planning a serious bender."

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 4 роки тому +45

      The guy in front of me a the grocery store purchased a six pack of beer and a quart of mayonnaise. He left, and I told the cashier, "There's a guy who knows how to party!"

    • @gadgetsage
      @gadgetsage 4 роки тому +27

      I once bought wine, clothesline and condoms.
      And yes.

    • @jdunnatl
      @jdunnatl 4 роки тому +25

      I once argued with a cab driver for several minutes that I didn't call him for a ride, when I was passing-out in a hungry circle of homeless men in the parkinglot after a hockey game in Atlanta...and I was wrong, my drunk ass did call him.
      I don't know why I stopped to buy two gallons of milk...to take to my girlfriend's house, either. She was not appreciative of the gesture. 😅

    • @brucebissonnette1758
      @brucebissonnette1758 3 роки тому +1

      @@geraldfrost4710 o

    • @denisemarie1825
      @denisemarie1825 3 роки тому +7

      Great jokes write themselves

  • @oliviajackson9616
    @oliviajackson9616 3 роки тому +20

    Watching this because I'm turning 21 in a week 😼 thank you for helping me stay sane through the pandemic, Jim!

  • @johnhoey4605
    @johnhoey4605 3 роки тому +25

    My wife and I have seen you live several times. On your Hotpockets you asked us after the show during meet & greet if your stuff is funny, because it’s not always easy to tell when you’re on stage. We told you you’re among the funniest ever...we love your work!

    • @yoranger8349
      @yoranger8349 2 роки тому +2

      That’s so sweet and awesome he sounds very humble

  • @allysonsmith2532
    @allysonsmith2532 4 роки тому +66

    You always make my day during this strange and difficult time! Excited for my daily dose of stand-up and dinner with the Gaffigans!!!! Thank you for everything you do to keep us smiling!!!!!!

    • @Laura-Lee
      @Laura-Lee 2 роки тому +4

      I can NOT eat and drink (or breathe) while watching Jim. If I eat, I choke and if I'm drinking something there's a strong chance at some point it will come out of my nose! Jim Gaffigan videos ... The best way to lose weight.
      Thanks, Jimmy and keep on eating to keep up those per capita quotas! I appreciate your sacrifice. 😊 🙋🏻‍♀️✝ 🇨🇦❤

  • @rondunn4084
    @rondunn4084 3 роки тому +46

    Thanks Jim for all the entertainment have watched you for years and you’ve always been funnyWithout all the vulgarity you are a genuine guy Godspeed and be safe

  • @LatinxSwag
    @LatinxSwag 4 роки тому +14

    Thanks Jim for speaking truth to power. I love watching your standup during rough days!

  • @huemann3416
    @huemann3416 4 роки тому +7

    Jim we love you.
    Thank you for all that you do.
    You make life tolerable.
    In fact, I’m sending all my prayers to you.
    Don’t spend them all in one place.
    Unless of course you want to.

  • @globetrekker86
    @globetrekker86 2 роки тому +8

    0:33 almost had me in tears. “Anyway… I love you.” We love you, too, Jim 🙂

  • @warrencolegrove1
    @warrencolegrove1 3 роки тому +13

    Love you Jim ! Thanks for all the great comedy !

  • @mevolveme
    @mevolveme 4 роки тому +16

    Shout out to all the fellow drinkers that started drinking more since covid

  • @adamwarlock2099
    @adamwarlock2099 4 роки тому +57

    As a 43 year old married man with two teenage sons he’s absolutely correct about drinking.

    • @dogscratchedoor
      @dogscratchedoor 3 роки тому

      Yup!

    • @MissSeaSea
      @MissSeaSea 3 роки тому +2

      I met him when I was a bouncer in a bar on the river walk in San Antonio. He was trashedddd, and sooo nice and funny

  • @teresahowick5197
    @teresahowick5197 4 роки тому +24

    You’re too funny. Much love and support from Canada

  • @Blakkrazor69
    @Blakkrazor69 Рік тому +4

    You are a National Treasure sir. Your skit about Hot Pockets had me literally rolling on the floor crying. I hadn't laughed like that since hearing Abott and Costello do "Who's on First?".

  • @gigiarmany
    @gigiarmany 4 роки тому +17

    rewatching these earth shatteringly hilarious old videos, I realise my whole view of the world has been moulded by Jims narrative, I now share his inner monologue on all topics...its uncanny, this is a powerful guy👍🏾👍🏾❤❤ and sooo hilariously funny❤❤❤❤🥳🥳🥳

  • @RonInNapa
    @RonInNapa 2 роки тому +5

    Thanks Jim. Great complilation at a time when I really needed some humor.

  • @gonzosierra1
    @gonzosierra1 3 роки тому +8

    He's an amazing writer/actor!!

  • @thedanadonnashow6798
    @thedanadonnashow6798 2 роки тому +12

    Jim is an incredible comedian 😅

  • @mikki3961
    @mikki3961 4 роки тому +3

    Beer, Bourbon and Prosecco lifes little pleasures. A joke or two from Jim...perfection.

  • @NinjaSushi2
    @NinjaSushi2 4 роки тому +51

    Dude. This is hilarious! I've grown up watching you since I was a kid. I'm thirty-three now and still laughing my butt off.

  • @nancysurbanfarm2504
    @nancysurbanfarm2504 3 роки тому +3

    Best comedian I’ve ever heard!!!

  • @cher8644
    @cher8644 4 роки тому +142

    I was a ground paramedic.
    I couldn't figure out how bars made money because every busted up drunk I hauled out of a ditch only ever had "two beers".

    • @STEVENFRYFRY
      @STEVENFRYFRY 4 роки тому +1

      They didn't mention they were bubba cups of beer

    • @NinjaSushi2
      @NinjaSushi2 4 роки тому

      @@STEVENFRYFRY lol

    • @DeathBYDesign666
      @DeathBYDesign666 4 роки тому +1

      Yeah but those beers are like a gallon and cost 27 dollars each, and that's just for a domestic non-craft beer. It's crazy how expensive bars are these days, dollar beer nights are like 3 dollars now. Lol

    • @bigwin2010
      @bigwin2010 4 роки тому

      Two big pitchers.

    • @badandy102
      @badandy102 4 роки тому +3

      I've heard that Dr.s and nurses usually take the number of drinks a person said they had, or have daily, and at least double it because people lie about the amount they drink.

  • @dmedina6835
    @dmedina6835 4 роки тому +3

    Jim your the greatest !!!!! Stay strong - we are all with you - dump prez chump!!!!!

  • @mikesaler1038
    @mikesaler1038 4 роки тому +9

    Hi Jim! Loved your humor for years (and your wife's)! But I finally joined you & paid up after a friend forwarded your F-you Karen (Tweet?). A hilarious and supremely fitting use of crass language. Thank you for all the laughs, wisdom, and hope!

  • @davejohnson7432
    @davejohnson7432 4 роки тому +11

    Another great video Jim....I stand by you, and always will

  • @palois2022
    @palois2022 4 роки тому +8

    I like Jim in that hat. Is this odd, I'm so used to watching him every morning, my day feels like it just started and its 3pm. Well at least it's a good habit, a healthy habit too.

  • @entrippyZ
    @entrippyZ 4 роки тому +32

    his brooklyn accent is my favorite thing

    • @TayR0C
      @TayR0C 3 роки тому +1

      I love all the voices he does, but the Brooklyn one is my favourite.

    • @danielhamilton3317
      @danielhamilton3317 3 роки тому +1

      The drinking jokes are spot on.

  • @melaniesmiley3055
    @melaniesmiley3055 4 роки тому +3

    You are so funny. Thank you for the videos it has really help my long days go by!!!

  • @stevenkobb156
    @stevenkobb156 4 роки тому +7

    These jokes are awesome as usual. Keep it up.

  • @tomslik4
    @tomslik4 Рік тому +27

    I love the way Jim doesn't have to use profanity in his act, that in itself is quite amazing.

  • @spaceo8568
    @spaceo8568 4 роки тому +7

    👍 Everytime, Jim. You're a national treasure and I adore you! 🤘

  • @Alice-re9ix
    @Alice-re9ix 3 роки тому +1

    You're simply THE BEST, Jim!

  • @plucas1
    @plucas1 4 роки тому +61

    How you can tell a guy has never worked in a bar or restaurant: They think the Men's Restroom has to be worse than the Women's Restroom. HOLY GOD IT IS NOT

    • @mattmorgan5370
      @mattmorgan5370 4 роки тому +4

      Probably looks like a murder scene 🤣🤣🤣

    • @maenad1231
      @maenad1231 4 роки тому +2

      @Leo Proctor
      Buckets of blood I swear

    • @SnarfSnarf1
      @SnarfSnarf1 4 роки тому +5

      Exactly!! The women's bathroom is WAY worse than the men's. I worked as a janitor for a bit and that was the absolute worst part of the job was the lady's room!

    • @manicmamc291
      @manicmamc291 3 роки тому +3

      I worked at a public pool for a while when I was about 14-16. The women’s bathroom was the bane of my existence. So…much…wet toilet paper on the floor, and used tampons… 😖

    • @melmo5218
      @melmo5218 3 роки тому +1

      In public toilets in hospitals too. Tissue paper, wet and dry, litter, all over the place. Toilets unflushed.

  • @JosetteBadger
    @JosetteBadger 2 роки тому +1

    Oh my gosh the clam juice jokes!!’ Thank you JG, thank you!

  • @KingOfgods-hq8cc
    @KingOfgods-hq8cc 4 роки тому +45

    I was drinking out of my flask Bacardi when I herd the flask joke I almost puked of laughter. Good stuff man

  • @MelbaToast7117
    @MelbaToast7117 2 роки тому +2

    The clam juice one gets me every time! "Eh! You know that thing that looks like a snot?!" Lol

  • @sonjatheierl1
    @sonjatheierl1 4 роки тому +79

    Just saw your daughter behind you for your dinner vid yesterday CUTEST SMILE EVER your kids are adorable

    • @Ann71987
      @Ann71987 4 роки тому +4

      Cute but.... Yeah you're probably creepy lols

    • @Str8Flossin
      @Str8Flossin 3 роки тому

      @@Ann71987 😂

  • @sdonato8270
    @sdonato8270 3 роки тому +4

    How do you come up with such funny material? 🤣😭😭 The Canadian clam juice jokes had me weak. 🤣

  • @rosemarie6545
    @rosemarie6545 4 роки тому +12

    Great laughs to start the day! Thanks, Jim!

  • @TheMrwipple
    @TheMrwipple 4 роки тому +17

    Fun stuff, Jim. Thanks. After watching that, now I'm ready for a fancy beer.

  • @timfronimos459
    @timfronimos459 3 роки тому +1

    Thanks Jim. Hope the family is well.

  • @jschmidt8996
    @jschmidt8996 2 роки тому +2

    Just watched a second time. Lol. Your good JG. Clean and hilarious. Keep it up. 🥰🤪

  • @thomascharles44
    @thomascharles44 2 роки тому

    This isn't the typical compilation video i watch but entertaining none the less

  • @amygalvin1799
    @amygalvin1799 2 роки тому +3

    I’ve been binging on your comedy since the Ukraine war, pandemic, global warming ….and you’re just so funny!
    Never could understand why people need a reason from me when I pass on drinks? 🥴

  • @jordanaguilar6162
    @jordanaguilar6162 4 роки тому +7

    Freakin love you jim!! Favorite comedian easily!

    • @EricW800
      @EricW800 4 роки тому

      @@weknow.2304 Jim has been one of my favorite comedians for a long time. I know he has to support the dems in order to survive financially, so I can almost appreciate that - got to provide for your family, however, he really should keep it to himself.

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 4 роки тому +1

      @@weknow.2304 Get a life troll.

  • @matteougolini6753
    @matteougolini6753 4 роки тому +11

    The bathroom attendant jokes made me cry 🤣🤣🤣. I need to see Jim live

  • @davegenther6877
    @davegenther6877 4 роки тому +2

    The bar routine may be his funniest bit. Hysterical.

  • @billydrumskin777
    @billydrumskin777 4 роки тому +17

    This is great! Why is there a pine tree in our living room? Love it! Heath Horner rules!! Rock on!!!

  • @espejoautoexistente
    @espejoautoexistente 3 роки тому

    Thank You for being You. I'm SO happy when i watch your videos haha really.

  • @floridamusician9219
    @floridamusician9219 Рік тому +1

    Jim Gaffigan provides the laughs again and again

  • @hrlnmlclm
    @hrlnmlclm 4 роки тому +28

    Cut off the tree, put it inside. Take all the lights, put them outside. Christmas. 😂

  • @jeremymanning5685
    @jeremymanning5685 2 роки тому +2

    Hey Jim long time fan...really appreciate what you're doing during this pandemic to keep folks laughing in a time of panic around the world 🌎. I had a thought during one of your videos that you might appreciate. (Laugh again with gafigan) I don't know if it's original or if you have Already thought of this but it could be the title of a new special 🤔

  • @BangleWish
    @BangleWish 4 роки тому +3

    I always make sure I also save my Jim Gaffigan clips in my Ted Talks list.

  • @mrmactknife
    @mrmactknife 4 роки тому +5

    I lost it at the yahtzee cup joke, that was a good one :)

  • @robertlangley258
    @robertlangley258 4 роки тому +3

    Very good bar jokes, funny as hell. But true, that makes it even funnier. Excellent video, great comedian.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

  • @desertfish1460
    @desertfish1460 2 роки тому +1

    LOL! I love you Jim Gaffigan! I love your yellow hat in the intro! So cute!❤️

  • @TheBeercase24
    @TheBeercase24 3 роки тому +1

    dang Jim your not that old you still got your humor ever since you started doing comedy plus nice job on super troopers

  • @roostercogburn6469
    @roostercogburn6469 3 роки тому +2

    Hey Jim, just started watching you.... I know, I know, I'm kind of slow!... But, you are without a doubt so stinking funny and the best comedian ever! I'm no prude, yet I so appreciate humor without profanity and porn images! You are a genius!
    Thank-you! Keep the comedy coming!

  • @davidevelyn530
    @davidevelyn530 4 роки тому +83

    Made the mistake of watching him 2 days after hernia surgery.
    Ouch!

    • @PeterGreen2015
      @PeterGreen2015 4 роки тому +2

      what you wrote made me laugh until it hurt - also back from the hospital in pain, meds, ice pack, meditation and prayer and rest, then laughter...I've likely seen all his stuff already but i laugh more than once at his stuff so what you wrote made me laugh at laughing, thanks ever so much

    • @davidevelyn530
      @davidevelyn530 4 роки тому +1

      @@PeterGreen2015 Glad I could be a further source of humor. Heal fast. Love your guitar playing BTW.

    • @staropalis
      @staropalis 4 роки тому +1

      Laughter is the best medicine
      Unless you’re treating a hernia

    • @tbscotty813
      @tbscotty813 3 роки тому

      NOOOOO! I had double hernia surgery when I was 15yo, it seemed like everyone bought me joke books! =D

  • @wayneparke554
    @wayneparke554 3 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing.

  • @savannawisdom1276
    @savannawisdom1276 4 роки тому +1

    Love it! Please do more gardening videos aswell!

  • @branajam
    @branajam Рік тому

    You are an absolute genius! I love your comedy! Proud to be from the same state as you. (But I've lived in Europe for almost 40 years.)

  • @anthonyorduno9634
    @anthonyorduno9634 Рік тому +4

    This guy is a part of our culture everybody knows his voice He's one of the funniest guys you'll ever see his cameos are priceless meow

  • @marshathefishy5721
    @marshathefishy5721 4 роки тому +2

    Love the laughs👍🏻
    You say the things we silently think😂

  • @marietanner7538
    @marietanner7538 3 роки тому +5

    "Hey u seem like a drunk on the go!" 😆

  • @onamission9965
    @onamission9965 4 роки тому +7

    👍I'm with you Jim, craft ipa all the way! Keep in mind.... breathing these days is worse than drinking.

  • @feardrinker
    @feardrinker 4 роки тому +121

    You know you're an alcoholic when you come home sober and your dog attacks you.

    • @rasui80
      @rasui80 4 роки тому +4

      this me cry laugh dude what the hell lmao

    • @lukewitkowski248
      @lukewitkowski248 3 роки тому +2

      That was good 👍

    • @TayR0C
      @TayR0C 3 роки тому +2

      😂😂

    • @jonfrank9424
      @jonfrank9424 2 роки тому

      Fair enuff mate 🤘🏼😂🍺

  • @benevolentmindvirus
    @benevolentmindvirus 4 роки тому +3

    Jim you are my hero you make me cry for loving Dave Chappelle so much. Thanks for the laughter.

  • @peteschreiber9517
    @peteschreiber9517 4 роки тому

    You're the best. Thanks Jim.

  • @julierheault4163
    @julierheault4163 4 роки тому +12

    Your hits are so cool!,

    • @williamdavis7247
      @williamdavis7247 4 роки тому +2

      @@weknow.2304 You seriously need a drink.

    • @700Ezalb
      @700Ezalb 4 роки тому

      @@weknow.2304 Awesome, still only about 0.0000001% of the shit Trump's done.

  • @suzanne4504
    @suzanne4504 2 роки тому

    I just love you so much. Thanks for the laughter😆

  • @TimBailey859
    @TimBailey859 4 роки тому

    Alcohol and your videos make quarantine more bearable.

  • @theemilyelizabeth
    @theemilyelizabeth 4 роки тому +7

    The fake retching noises you made re: no clam juice in a Bloody Mary had me laughing so hard I legit almost peed. Almost. 😂😂😂

  • @Luke-pk9fe
    @Luke-pk9fe 4 роки тому +6

    It's cool you got John Malkovick to do the intro! 👍

  • @Exposetheluciferianagenda
    @Exposetheluciferianagenda 3 роки тому +9

    “I got wasted last night and then I went to build some low income housing” 🤣

  • @melisagilbert4486
    @melisagilbert4486 4 роки тому +2

    Lol, my daily dose of Jim!

  • @AlisMarsaili1351
    @AlisMarsaili1351 Рік тому

    I laugh so hard every time I listen to Jim G! I’m in therapy dumping my narcissistic friend. Talk about pain! Instead of feeling my pain to heal I’m watching Jim G! Thanks Jim, I’ll probably never heal because of you! That’s what a narcissist would say!!!

  • @JoelRodriguez-224
    @JoelRodriguez-224 2 місяці тому

    One of my favorite Comedians before Super Troopers, "Cake" 2013 and one of the hardest times of my life losing contact of my Three Children 2015 "bars", and introducing Jim to my Soulmate 2019, still laughing til this DAY , LOVE you Jaffghanistan.

  • @Bradgdude
    @Bradgdude 3 роки тому

    You’re one of the greats! 🙇‍♂️👊🏻

  • @chadtellevik5479
    @chadtellevik5479 4 роки тому +2

    Best one yet Jim:)

  • @riog8082
    @riog8082 3 роки тому +5

    Jim is one of the best! Wish he used the woman’s voice more often, very funny 🤣

  • @annabishop1769
    @annabishop1769 3 роки тому

    Thank you for your videos

  • @davidozoswald3835
    @davidozoswald3835 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for the laughs

  • @galahadgarza6905
    @galahadgarza6905 4 роки тому +21

    I had to give up smoking (doctor's orders). I also gave up drinking (court ordered).

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 3 роки тому +2

      I have a friend who taught me the heart-attack diet, the diet you follow if you don't want another heart-attack...
      "If it tastes good, spit it out. If it tastes like monkey crap, chew it well."

    • @TeamCat1128
      @TeamCat1128 3 роки тому +1

      Good for u!

  • @mystdragon8530
    @mystdragon8530 4 роки тому +80

    Did this video go from “I don’t drink alcohol” to “I drink the fanciest beer” 🤣😂

    • @PatrickWagz
      @PatrickWagz 4 роки тому +8

      And, somewhere in the middle... he was drinking wine out of a Yaht-zee shaker?
      [I'm not judging... just stating a fact]
      :-)

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 2 роки тому

      And his male relatives call him "Jimmy," Did you catch that,?

  • @buzzygermony2745
    @buzzygermony2745 2 роки тому +1

    It never fails if I want to laugh I watch one of your videos.

  • @anovosedlik
    @anovosedlik Рік тому +1

    'This is the only thing I like about being alive' ...you hit that point WAY earlier than 40 these days!

  • @dawnshilling603
    @dawnshilling603 4 роки тому +17

    🤣🤣🤣 omg!! So relatable and hilarious 😂

  • @trolltothebank
    @trolltothebank 4 роки тому +1

    Ty so much Jim

  • @Exposetheluciferianagenda
    @Exposetheluciferianagenda 4 роки тому +3

    Jim please more gardening videos 😂

  • @geoffhennessy275
    @geoffhennessy275 4 роки тому +4

    Once again Nikki Glaser mentioned you in her podcast. She is in awe of your flawless delivery. It almost makes her cry. Just thought I'd chime in.