here. In my 50ies, married, divorced. DON'T EVER F*ING MARRY. If a girl asks you that, have an open discussion. If she still insists - you stand up and leave. And : get kids when you are young! Best, all of them before you are 30. Just think about your age when they're 18.
This information was not available when I married in 2002. Men mostly suffered in quiet desperation. Maybe you had an uncle that had a bad divorce and that was your only knowledge of it. This despite the fact that being Gen X, nearly everyone I knew was from a broken home. The Men’s Roghts Activists made a little noise in the 90’s and early 00’s but it’s UA-cam that’s really blown the lid off this and exposed the difficulties and pitfalls.
They are also at societal, financial and emotional war with men. General Sun Tzu and Niccolo Machiavelli would both be impressed with their application of their respective doctrines.
going through it now. With children involved, I never thought she would be as selfish. No reason provided. She basically couldn't get me under her thumb is my reading of the situation.
David, that is what happened to me first time around. Married at 20, and by 32, she decided she wanted a new guy in her life. And when I married her, she at least appeared to be, a christian woman with good values. Didn't turn out that way. Oh well, it helped shape the man I became by the time I was 40. Peace to you brother, I hope you heal well.
In the women's court system they are all the same. You had an entire team waiting to fleece you and I bet you left through the men's door (loser) and she walked away with cash and prizes and an indentured servant.
I never understood that logic tbh. If I see something happening to almost every man, my first thought is not "I'll be the exception" but instead "oh cheat, it could easily happen to me". That's how statistics work. But hey, we all decide which dices we want to roll I guess. And we all get a bad roll at some point.
@@John_Wood_ correct mate. You stood your ground as a man and did not fall into the trap of her controlling you. This was the cause for divorce on her part.
@@bobsnittle3793 Casey is more pick up artists than/ dating guru type though he reveals female nature pretty well. It’s more of a short term thing IMHO, the guys I mentioned give advice which remains relevant till the very end of life. And not just that, they make the whole thing very entertaining.
Someone once said: "In marriage, you are just ONE bad mood away from getting divorced". Today, wom3n will literally leave you if they are not feeling happy in any given moment. It's out of your control for the most part as your wife is controlled by her emotions and hormones.
This happened to me and most of my friends. About mid 30’s the women become unhappy. There is nothing a guy can do to change their mind. My X divorced me, took all the money she could, took the kids, then proceeded to work through and live with at least 10 guys. She is now old, broke, and moved in with the oldest daughter because she is broke. Happens all the time.
That is exactly what’s happening to my ex-wife right now. I helped my daughter buy a house. Now I think my ex-wife might be moving into her basement. Very ironic.
😒 i have four ex wives, i met the all around 19, they all started to molt into a Succubuss just like Clockwork before the Age of 30. Ever Single One. Now you can imagine that all these creatures once they had their wings flew away and started roaming for new Prey in their 30s, which means those dudes were the Clean Up Dudes, the dont understand how dangerous that is, these Dames are coming to you with alot of streetwise experienced and they are really good at putting on a face and pretend to act like they are Sweet 19, i can go on and on and on about this, I put in the time, ive done the Tour of Duties, i know what t f im talking about
I’m now getting divorced after 26 years. I’ll have enough money to buy a small house outright, so it will be ok. I’m honestly just looking forward to running my own life again, & living in peace, after all these years of marriage.
I wish you good luck. I cannot tell you the feeling of peace I got being on my own, especially those first few months.. divorce was the best thing for both of us. We loved each other, but were two very different personalities who probably should’ve never gotten married to each other.
@@gailflora1835 it's funny how some of us guys who have been married a long time.. I was married for 22years coming up 23years . before my wife passed away to illness . over the years on and off I had comments about her when she was in her wheelchair who. was the person I was looking after I said my wife . some people tought she was my mum because of some of the medicines she was on . some thought she was my sister as well. we genuinely got on well but I said no she was my wife but like you mentioned in a relationship some people generally loved and care for each other and it last a life time .some people remain friends after divorce don't get me wrong in our early days we nearly chucked it all away .but we learnt to compromise with each other and the longer your in your relationship you need to remain friends as well as husband and wife. my mum divorce my dad after 13 years due to someone seeing a weakness in there relationship . mum lost my nan at that point in time and my dad was not an emotional huggy guy. long story short both had affairs after the marriage bake down and realised what fools thay had been and got remarried. As thay generally loved each other dad was not an over emotional guy . and stayed that way until dad passed away .its cost the both in the loss of the family home but thay re started over again. different things effect different people some stuff really is shitty at times that's when we really need God to restore our relationships. I don't do regrets but some thimes I wish we had done things differently. if only we had said sorry or you know let try it your way there might be less stress in relationships but we are human at the end of the day you can't take your house car job or all the money you might have earned with you but you can build Good memories and a happy life. but you need God in your relationship even if thay end to be on good terms with each other take care and may God bless you in the next chapter of your life
I have zero regret not getting married. I do regret not getting my finances in order before 40. Fortunately, I still have years to work and get to control my household expenses.
@@burtbakerack1110 you likely may have ended up in the same financial predicament if you’d married and then divorced in your 40s anyway. So don’t be too hard on yourself.
Fact. And they will pour all their love into the kids leaving you sidelined and waaay down the list of priorities. No intimacy and she'll even cut you out of parenting leaving you completely emasculated.
Add in hypergamy and the state paying them to be vow-breakers and you quickly realize western "marriage" is an absurd concept and contract for any man.
So I’m the classic case (married for 20 years then divorced) it’s devastating guys. DO NOT THINK “YOUR GIRL IS DIFFERENT…IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME” Women are very emotional and moods/hormones change as they age. They will do a 180 on you at ANY POINT in the marriage…take half and leave.
My ex-wife was incredibly beautiful and extraordinarily driven by sex That did not last. Sex slowly dropped from four or five times a week to four or five times a month to 4×5 times a year until it was maybe once a year and then maybe once every other year you get the idea.
This is a point I've made on some of John's other vids: people can and often do change and evolve over time. I keep commenting on these vids, for two reasons. One I hope some younger men will read and consider what some of us old guys are saying. And two, to let men going thru this stuff know that you have brothers in arms out here who understand and want you to know, you're going to survive and in fact thrive as time goes by.
55 years old and never married, but over the years I have co habituated. Co habitation taught me, marriage is out of the question. Ain't no way, and now I refuse to cohabitation. The reward is having what women want, but nope. Sorry, it's all mine, and all for me.
44 here. Lived in 7 states, worked around the world. Had a couple great relationships. Never married nor kids. Everyone is pressuring me to do so. Guess what, I'm super happy and very active. Make friends and have versatile hobbies. Good luck out there!
51 and married twice and divorced twice. No kids and just now getting my Financials together as the second one had 3 kids that zapped all savings. I am better now then I ever have been😊
The way you described it is exactly spot on, like we were married to the same woman. Going through it after 15 years of marriage. There’s good and bad days. On the bad days I try to remind myself of how peaceful life has become once again (once you start getting over the initial shock and heartbreak). At this point, 3 years post separation, my main issue is occasional loneliness. But I’ve come to realize that I don’t miss being married, I miss the company in general. And I’ve found that just hanging out with family and friends or even being at work where I get to socialize, usually is enough for me to fill that need. Stay strong boys.
Yeah, same here. It's hard to think back to the really good times when she was all the company you ever needed. But at the same time, women are in business, not love. The fact that we are in a blissful moment and at the same time they were thinking "is he the best I can do?" is soul-crushing.
It’s their nature. Don’t be mad at them for it. Just act accordingly. Unfortunately for some reason idiots today think we don’t need the social legal or cultural guardrails to protect women from themselves like every single society and culture knew for 1000s of years
As a married man I can say that this guy sums it up pretty well. Please spread his message or the video to any single male friends you have. It just might save them long term grief and financial costs, by warning them that “this lady isn’t different”, because that’s what most of us think until we find out the truth much later
I have been saying marriage is like prison for years. I got married in 1974 and left in 1981. Been single for 43 years and my life has been good. Retired at 53 years old, now 69, I am feeling good..
That’s funny my wife left recently and I told a friend I feel like I got paroled. I can’t do much until things are settled , can’t got back to prison/marriage and can’t go back to my life before it because that world and people are gone.
@@DavidVincent-g8i You can start your life again immediately. A few ideas, hit the gym, get off of garbage food if you are so inclined. Look at your money and try to protect it as much as possible. It's tough when you first get paroled but it will work out. The main thing, is to stay away from women unless it is for an hour or two and for Pete's sake, control your small head.
@@carlossebastiannecroticgot7232 Do you ever find yourself yearning for intimate human connection (I don't mean sex), and do you ever wonder if you have a healthy amount of realistic cynicism?
Do you ever feel you missed out? I'm 43 and never been in a relationship, I've never felt the need to go on dating sites. It's partly because I've had depression and social anxiety all my life.
I bet you are! That poultry little tax break they give you each year doesn’t cover anything. I raise three children and I estimate each child cost between a half million and 1 million to raise each.
Should You Get Married? Men, NEVER voluntarily give the government and family courts jurisdiction over your assets, and future income. In my CPA practice, clients often ask how I feel about marriage. I usually answer them with a question of my own. “How many other relationships do you have where you have signed a legal document and a license that will force you to go to a court to terminate that relationship?” "For example, have you and your best friend signed a Best Friend License?" Of course the answer is no. Imagine you have a Best Friend License and before you can stop being friends with that person you have to file a lawsuit. You will need to hire attorneys and a judge has to approve you no longer being best friends. Then that judge can legally take some of your assets and give them to your former best friend against your will. That judge can also order you to pay a monthly amount to that former best friend forever. And imagine the courts are biased against you and favor your best friend in every way while in court. Of course, we all see how ridiculous it would be to ever sign a best friend's license. A marriage license should be viewed the same way. The adversarial party to the marital contract, your wife, is financially incentivized to breach this contract, (file for divorce against you), where you have no such equal benefit, and with NO consequence to her. I don’t blame women for filing for divorce at such a high rate. Any contract where one party has no consequences of any kind if they breach, but instead has benefits and incentives, is not legal in my opinion. As a compromise, if your beloved demands marriage, consider a religious ceremony with no corresponding governmental paperwork. Make sure this cannot be construed as a legal marriage in your state. Voluntarily bringing governmental and judicial oversight into any of your personal relationships is insanity. With a marriage license, this is only strengthened by the fact that the family laws are heavily biased towards women and mothers. Voluntarily giving family courts the authority to seize your property and income streams, and give them to another person sometime in the future, is irrational and self-destructive and should never be done under any circumstances. Never sign any contract where the other party has little or no consequence for breaching it. A woman has incentives to breach a marriage license (contract). Men, never sign such an agreement.
Great perspective, thanks for sharing. However, I’m fairly certain that, so long as you simply appear to be a married couple, whether you are legally married or not, the court will treat you as such. At least that’s how it is here in Texas…
@@marcoemiliovalle7708 Very few states still recognize couples as common-law married. Those that do, in some form, include Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Texas and Utah, as well as the District of Columbia
This is all so true. I'm 72 and have been through it. This is real. Young men need to be for warned because the emotional pain feels waaaaayyyy worse than you can imagine before it happens to you. Be very careful.
I am 70 and as a kid in the early 60's my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles with one exception were all married and all seemed content and happy being husbands and wives. I remember that each spouse from my tamily had significant roles that they played in the marriage . A formula for success so to speak back then at least in my family.. It seems to me that the game changed for the worse by the late 60's into the 70's. The next generation lost what the generation that my mom and dad represented had.
sir things have changed there is no sense of belonging in today in family and one becomes a burden in old age better find our own way without disturbing others life and time
@@john-griffin I don't know that you would have, John. When you look at the current stats from the USA, young men are abandoning relationships with women at astonishing rates. Are you aware of the 2022 Pew Research study of 18 to 29 year olds? They found 62% of a study groups of 5000 young men stated they were, "Single, not looking". Only 32% of the young women put themselves in that category. The sharing of information now gives men a very clear picture of the risks. Most young men have seen fathers, uncles, brothers, friends and work colleagues get screwed over in divorce and have also seen a significant number of men get falsely accused by women and charged despite no evidence. The tide is turning.
🙂 2004, i remember the early 2000s the new thing was Pickup Artist Stuff and Cold Approaching, which was definitely more viable back then, Dames off the street were definitely more approachable, so these videos might not have made sense back then yet.
A marriage counselor told me that a lack of a divorce is NOT an indication of a successful marriage. He told me that he has met many couples that have been married for 20 years but haven't spoken to each other for 15 years! I was only married for a few years, I can't imagine living with someone that has become a stranger to me.
I know some men that lost everything when they got divorced. I recently ended my engagement because my ex refused to pay for anything. Even a dinner bill. I told her I can't afford this. The risks were too high. It took me 28 years to pay off my mortgage. My gut was telling me bail out. So, I did. I'm sure I'll be dying alone. It's ok.
She would have taken half your home after 7 years, married another man, taken half his home and then bought herself her own home. I knew an older woman who had four shipping containers on her property, each one contained all of the household possessions from each one of her marriages, she was ruthless!
@@jadenkutz once we were CAVE MEN, drag them out by their long hair when they were moody., like when they were bitching about wanting HALF THE CAVE and wanting a divorce…
Marriage is a business contract and an institution. I was married for 20 years. She cheated, left me and forced me to sell our home and took half. I will never get married AGAIN. I have worked too hard to rebuild and buy another home. It’s fun to flick women away as soon as a red flag pops up. No loss, no schedules and I can be selfish.
Same happened to me brother 20 years also I went through three long agonizing years in divorce court and may I say I had a prenup protecting assets prior to the marriage in a nutshell the lady judge threw it out and I will never and I mean never get married again never
BINGO ! ... marriage has absolutely nothing to do with love and romance = the 2 of you have entered into a business partnership - everything that requires a license, permit, etc, is commercial ... look up and watch 'Esoteric Agenda' and 'Kymatica' and note the parts about contracts, certificates, licenses, and especially capital letters = everything in all capital letters is commercial - notice your names on practically everything (drivers & marriage license, SS & insurance cards, birth certificate, etc ???
I got married at 27 after being pressure by her to do so. Divorced at 30 with one child and yes the judge gave her the world financially, never married since. I’m now 65 and enjoying my live, living alone. If you’re young and have never been married, really give it careful thought, discuss it with other men who have been married or maybe still are, consider their opinions. Chances are They’ll tell you HELL NO!
It's crazy how when I'm single, everything in my home is spotless, but when a woman is temporarily living under my roof while in a relationship, everything is suddenly dirty and I need to do my "share" of the chores. It's not my hair clogging the drain, my clothes all over the place or my dishes piling up in the sink. 😂
The married ones might be happy now, but give it some time. It's ONLY a matter of time before it all goes downhill and turns to crap. Just wait and see. NOTHING lasts forever.
I concur.I envied alot of college buddies on their mid 20s marriages.Fast forward ten years and they are squirming.Sexless marriage and bad finances and inlaw issues.Run for the hills guys!
🙂 im not sure but the current stats if you only look at first marraiges couple, and they got married in 2001 to 2024, that chances of the marriage leading to a Family Cemtery Burial where Husband and Wife is laid next to each other has a failure rate of about 80% at Best
My Father used to say, " the only difference between a wedding and a funeral was that you could smell the flowers at a wedding".....after a ruinous marriage of 15 years my ex got her Psychology degree and a $240000 job at the expense of my staying home to look after the 2 children and putting my life on hold and earning potential up the creek, as an at home Dad. I got fleeced at the divorce hearing because basically I'm a man.I couldn't claim loss of income or any compensation.. go figure. That was when I was 50 and after 5 or 6 years of online dating looking for someone else I gave up because most of the women I met had so many issues and demands I basically ended up with a type of PTSD . It took some years to get my life together again and I'm now 70 . I see no reason to get involved with women at all and haven't for over 10 years . Is life great ...not overly but the tangible feeling of not having to put up with relationships with women and their baggage is palpable and over all I'm more content with my own company as each day passes. Thanks again John Griffin you're spot on with you videos I hope many men listen to what you're saying
It sounds like you really got the bad end of the stick all the way around. I’m sorry that happened to you. But at the same time, I’m glad you’re free of it. Hopefully you still have a good relationship with your kids. And you have to admit having autonomy over your own day-to-day life is, wonderful.
SO many single women over the age of 40 have issues. Some examples of things I have had said to me recently: 1) "Ive been flooded with men on Tinder it is overwhelming. I will cancel our first date as I had better banter with some other guys" 2) After 5 dates, and making love, where she was groaning in pleasure and was clearly REALLY turned on "I will only make love to you again if you are better than the first time"! (noone has complained before!). 3) After 3 dates when I tried to kiss her at the end of the night "What are you doing!?" 4) After copulating like rabbits for the first few months, she moved in with me - because it was working really well, and when I made a romantic move "What are you doing!? I don't think your desire for sex matches mine" 5) After 1 date - she sends me a survey about our love styles....
@@PeterCunningham-rk5qk Been there, lived a similar situation. Ex is now a health care executive. She wanted a divorce and a year later married a doctor.
@@rememberdavid9329 My X married a senior public servant on around $300000 that makes about a million between them. I moved around a fair bit after splitting up and left some clothes and kitchen stuff at her place while I found my own place. When I came around to her place to pick up my stuff this guy was wearing my clothes and drinking out of a coffee cup the kids gave me for Fathers day....I should have knuckled them both....little things mean a lot,
It's amazing how women weaponize intimacy very quickly into marriage ,mine started on our wedding night Divorced 6 yrs now, extremely happy,and have money for the first time ever and I'm 68
It's called the bait-and-switch and every married feem ale does it. They (and all of soyciety) actually expect the man to be a married in cell for the rest of his life, because his vow-breaker "doesn't feel like it" the second she owns him. Now imagine the outrage if a man withheld intimacy or said I quit my job on day 1 of marriage.
@@IAmTheEggMan111 I am with you on that. I just clocked 39 years. I actually can't tell whether I am happy or not as the emotional roller-coaster makes it all a blur. I lose 2 to 3 nights sleep a week as she suddenly finds something to get upset about right on bedtime. It was worse a few years ago but, on my third threat of leaving, she got some help. The problem is I was so done at that point, that even though things are considerably better now I feel like I am just acting a lot of the time. NEVER AGAIN for me.
@@effortless-one Its called supply. Narcissists, whether covert or overt need that constant supply of attention and if they don't receive it, they create it. I was married to one (covert) for 17 years and not until year 10 did I start to investigate. Nobody should ever have to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting their partner. Does she ruin vacations and holidays? How about the silent treatment? Gaslighting with things like "you" lost or misplaced your keys, when it was her that hid them. Yea, I don't miss midnight to sometimes 3:00 a.m. arguments over BS. Narcissism and BPD (borderline personality disorder) are virtually impossible to heal from and wow, 39 years? You are probably what the experts call trauma bonded. It's never too late to get your life back.
it's the threat of divorce that emboldens women. Take that away and they'd be meek as kittens. And now that the me-too moment has mucked up dating, single women are feeling the pinch. Good for them, you go gurl. Change that tire, you got this! Pay those bills, you don't need no man ! Car won't start? No worries, you're strong and independent. Call your BFFs, sit around and cry about it...maybe that'll get it started.
lol I had a friend (a girl) call me and several of our friends up cause her car broke down… I told her to call a mechanic, and she doesn’t even speak much ever since.. bye Felicia! No one’s missing you!
😏 LOL, its strange but some of these older women are loaded with money, so they could simply build a network or blue collar men in the are to service the house, handymans, pool guy, mobile mechanic. Its strange. The only thing I can think of is that they are just really stingy to cough up their money just like Scrooge.
Toxic feminism is ruining women nowadays. I know you guys out there are thinking no, not my wife or girlfriend. Please don’t complicate your life. That old saying still stands. No wife happy life.
@@davidpitchford6510 I've got a buddy who's been married 40 years and his wife has severe mental problems, being under the care of a psychiatrist and taking psychoactive prescription drugs. He told me that he has been in so much stress over the years that he has developed stomach ulcers and now he has to take prescription meds to treat that condition. His life has been pure hell, but he didn't have the balls to leave her.
Agreed 👊🏾…. I am 58, got married 4 years ago at 54… Never been married before this my first and last time…. The stupidest thing I have did in my 58 years on this earth….. I filed for divorce back in June after 4 years married and 9 years together…
I told an older woman that I fed the stray cats in my yard. She told me why I had to spend on the animals, so I told her, cuz I didn’t have to worry about rattlesnakes. I stopped talking to her. The other day I went to Pizza Hut and had wings . I asked this 27 yr old girl to bring me a bag, cuz I was taking the left over to my stray cats. She smiled and went back to the kitchen and got me more leftovers. She was really happy to hear someone cared about the homeless cats. It seems that the older women get the more they become bitter ...
Yep. I have a couple stray cats that hang out in my yard too. I figure they keep the mice away from my RV. A little cat food for them seems like a fair trade. The one that hangs out in my backyard, my dog has reached an uneasy truce with her !
Older women carry a ton of baggage. They usually fall into a few groups: 1.) manhater who needs a man to take out her frustrations on; 2.) broke and needs a man to bail her out of her financial problems; 3.) mentally unstable, bipolar and/or schizophrenic; 4.) has kids who are juvenile delinquents or else in their 30s and still living at home (losers). Don't even think of marrying or even living with an older woman.
Mine started out 5'6" and 125 lbs. Pretty girl too. After our second child, she was still 5'6" tall but the width changed considerably. She hit 190 - 200 and stayed there. Insecure, self conscious, she hated (hates) the way she felt (feels) about herself but wouldn't do a damned thing about it. The easiest thing to do was to be hateful and bitter at me, because of what I must be thinking about her.
@@Brian-qg9bm That is all cope on her part. She wants the kids but isn't emotionally mature enough to deal with the responsibilities of being a parent so they balloon and blame it on that.
@@bbosc674 yes sir! happiness of the husband never is seen as important, nor are the kids involved in what happiness in a woman. We live in weird times. i was a blue pilled guy up to my last divorce. I will never spend time on this hobby of women again. i have spent to much money and time and was not able to make 2 marriages work to make a woman happy. now it is my time to get my finances together and work on hobbies that make me happy. i am content, at times i think of having a friend with benefits, but i do not have the tolerance to deal with all that even goes with that.
@@john-griffin agree. i loved having a wife i spent almost every day for 8 years with her three kids. then found out she was not backing me as a step dad and the kids pounced to get me gone. they have had full control of the house since i left and she use to call and ask for my opinion on what she should do. i have cut ties fully now and wanting to live more remote and work on my forever home and work on growing food and have a much more peaceful life. i tried to date again after divorce and it was another crap fest. so i am out. enjoy my tobacco pipe and ride motorcycles and make videos on YT myself. mine are more fun based and enjoyment of life.
this is the real issue, they will check out anytime they want and the state approves and rubber stamps it like nothing happened, leaving the man broken and destroyed without remorse
I was supposed to get married and finally decided to cancel the wedding. I would’ve been insane to go through with the wedding as my girl friend turned out to be a violent drunk. I actually preferred living with my parents in their finished basement serving as their elder care insurance. For one thing neither of my parents were emotionally disturbed so at least for me they were both easy to get along with.
@@masterblaster1502 I had an ex girlfriend who was a violent drunk as well. She had 2 cats and drank copious amounts of wine. Stereotypes exist for a reason. The relationship lasted 4 and 1/2 months.
I knew a middle aged man whose wife was a secret raging alcoholic. She would drink an entire bottle of Scotch every night and beat him up while she was drunk. He just took it, along with the financial cost of the liquor, and kept quiet. I only found out it was happening by accident. You didn't dodge a bullet. You dodged a nuclear missile.
😏 dam you dodged a bullet, as for Elder Care it is very expensive if you need a Nurse to come by and do checkups, in addition they would need a Driver, and a HandyMan, somone to do errands, Housekeeper, it can get really expensive really fast. And we are talking about just one parent.
I'm SO glad I NEVER wanted kids. Even when I was a kid, I thought other kids were noisy. I think I had an old soul. I'm SO glad now to be single and FREE of ALL the nonsense.
I agree with you half way. It's important for good people to have children. If you don't know what good is, then you'll have to think about that. A country needs to have responsible citizens. I didn't have kids either. They can be very annoying, but in some ways they can be just as or more mature than adults. I think it's extremely important to have similar political views as your wife or hers similar to yours, otherwise the differences can bring on heaps of trouble.
Don’t rob yourself the joy of being a father bro u can have kids and not deal with the woman …..don’t let women rob u of the job of passing on ur genetics
When my GF brings up marriage, I ask "Why?" She never has a rational answer. I tell her it's not her I'm anxious about, it's the state (i.e. family court). For high net worth individuals, marriage is a high-risk, low-reward proposition. As a 1%er, I can verify that 1% status doesn't insulate one from her being an "alpha-widow." Great meme: A couple in bed, him contentedly sleeping, his Superman cape draped over a chair, her sitting up in bed with the thought bubble "Is he really the best I can do?"
So true! Just look at what happened to Kevin Costner, Tom Brady, Johnny Depp, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Tyrese Gibson, and many other highly successful men. No one is safe. Bait and switch is real. And you can meet someone who's amazing to begin with, but they change over time and particularly in marriage.
She knows marriage secures cash and prizes. If she gets pregnant because she 'forgot" to take her birth control it is almost as bad except you get to keep your stuff, but 40% of your gross plus extras are heading her way. The ladies are well educated by their hive members on how to set the table for divorce and they follow the playbook.
All of the things you spoke of as negatives are true for most of us; some won't admit it. Since I've been free for 12 years and no longer feel any of the initial divorce pain, I did chuckle at quite a few statements due to how accurate they are. I would add that guys generally are content and can survive with less while the wife's needs tent to continually increase.
🙂 sure, medical care, as their bodies fail they will need Housekeeper, Handyman, Driver, Errand Boys, Hospital, Clinics, Supermarket, Bank, Post Office. Ive been there, they have no idea whats coming down the pike.
I got divorced after 12 years. A few years later I married a Dominican woman in her country. I’m 49 she is 45. Her kids are grown and she can no longer have more. I only speak english and she only speaks spanish which cuts out a lot of the arguments.😅 Its unusual but working so far. Last one for me.
You mentioned women’s monthly cycle. It’s important to also consider menopause. I was married for 23 years. Then she hit perimenopause and it all went south. The marriage did not survive it. It was not because I didn’t try. She just was hit really hard by it and it seemed reasonable to her that ending the marriage would improve her life. It didn’t. It just took a few years for her body to reach the other side. But the marriage ended anyway.
Yes, menopause is the worst. Because then they’re either getting zero hormones or they’re getting 10 X hormones. Do you never know what you’re gonna get from day-to-day
Spot on. When my wife (eventually) had perimenopause confirmed after, probably, a couple of years of it, I remeber standing on the stairs and thinking "well, that's me fucked". If only I knew. 3 years down the line and she has told me she has no interest in sex and hasn't really for the last 5 years. Plus I'm apprently crap at it too. This has led to a functional relationship, lack of emotional connection (certainly on my part), chronic alcohol use, substantial weight gain and a feeling of hopelesness. We have been together almost 30 years and I'm nearly 50. I didn't expect this in the early days. I love my kids dearly so I'll take one for the team. Once the banging stops, the feelgood hormones go and the connection withers. I don't know if I would have believed anybody that tried to tell me anyway.
@@mightymike2192 Some things have to be learned the hard way, unfortunately. Got to walk that mile in the shoes to really get it. Unfortunately it's one of - if not the - hardest one to learn; the cost is so high.
I was married for 18 years, I don’t really remember that many good times except for 1 or 2. What I DO remember are the times when I met up with my old college buddies and listened to our favourite songs, played guitar, 🍺 and played video games. We still stay in touch and play games online once a while, each of us is in a different country!
80/20 rule in my experience at 59. 8 out of 10 of my buddy's got divorced and I live in Phoenix. Women are definitely never happy today. Just back from golfing. Had the whole course to myself! Timmy C Arizona
56, MGTOW for 17 years, never married, but didn’t have to be to learn how dangerous females and their matriarchal state are. I hate this world. It’s wicked. I’ll stay single rather than fall victim.
New sub here. You are so right! Been divorced for over 15 years. I’ve only had a few dates all of which were a complete waste of time. Love my single life. As the old saying goes, if it floats, flies, or f*cks, rent it - don’t buy it.
😒 the problem is most dates nowadays is the old school world BLIND DATES and that was never a good idea in any time period, i wouldnt be going out with any stranger at least not where i live, if im traveling then thats different
Thank you for this video, John. I just turned 50 years of age a couple of days ago, NEVER married, NO kids. I thank God almost every day for never having allowed me to give into any of my ex's demands to get married or have kids. Romance, dating, dating apps, social media, going to clubs/bars, marriage, having kids, divorce universe is completely lopsided in favor of one side at the expense of the other and because of that there is virtually an infinite variety of reasons for men to not marry and the other side to continue to chase the top 10% of men. There are so many men who don't even ask for numbers anymore because the llepht, social media, university educations continues to enable feemails to berate a man for simply not being "her type." So much must change, and my instinct is telling me these dynamics are going to mutate so bad that we are looking at problems never experienced by humanity.
I saw on another channel that loyalty is a masculine trait and pragmatism is a feminine trait. That seems pretty accurate to me. As the song says "What's love got to do with it?"
I’m a recovering alcoholic, been sober 14 years. Pleasing a woman is just another addiction. Plain and simple. I’ve been sober from women for 5 1/2 years. No stress. No criticism.
@@john-griffin Fraudulent comparison. Just as fraudulent as saying that devoting yourself to the emotional well being of your child or your aging parent is an 'addiction' Newsflash:That spouse IS somebody's child - and, often - somebody's aging parent. You're pathologizing empathy for a spouse's well being in a way that would be utterly indefensible in those other contexts. All so some fecking YT channel can cynically turn a buck leading that MGTOW parade. And it's utterly vile.
I endorse everything I’m hearing in this video and most of the comments. If I had my life to live again, I would not get married or have children. At an age when I should be free to enjoy leisure activities, travel, improve my skills in certain creative endeavors, and develop new relationships, I remain shackled to a petulant, deadbeat wife and four dependent adult children who either can’t or won’t gain self sufficiency.
John, I just came across your channel and have been watching your various episodes. During each episode I break out laughing and almost to tears, so funny, so real and so to the point. I had a question for you. How do you know my ex-wife so well? 😅😂😅😂 Keep up the good work. Maybe I am just laughing at myself and how your comments are related to my situation. All be best to you! Wishing positive energy for a long and happy life. Cute dogs by the way.
I’m glad you enjoy it. I think it’s funny because it’s true. The absurdity of what we put ourselves through. Just has to be laughed at. We all make the same stupid mistakes. I think that’s just part of being human. And since we’re all gonna die in the end, anyway we might as well laugh and have some fun along the way. Thanks for watching. I appreciate it.
One factor not mentioned was menopause in women. Menopause can really put a man through the ringer, which will squeeze the last bit of patience and tolerance a man has left.
I never married because I witnessed my 3 sisters and most of my friends get divorced... The few who remained married look miserable to me. They aren't even particularly friendly toward one another... I never quite understood why people subject themselves to marriage.
It's an outdated contract and way for two people to live together which isn't compatible with today's relationship dynamics and what men and women want in life.
😏 its because People Are Sheep, they haven't realized we aren't living in Colonial Times anymore, if everything around us would start to really look like a Cyberpunk Video Game then things would start to sink in alot better,
Searching the comments - where are the women with well reasoned compelling arguments as to why marriage is a good idea for men? I think they aren’t there for 2 reasons. First, most women don’t care what men want or think so they don’t watch the video, and second, there really is no good argument for a man to take on so much risk for a woman - you’re in the realm of emotion and desire there, not reason.
I was married for well over 20 years , part time single now for 7 . I said part time because this time around it's on my terms , having lived the experience of surrendering every thing that mattered to me to my ex wives whims I 've learn to never allow that to happen again !!! At this stage of our lives companionship is the name of the game . No more what's mine is yours , and what's yours is YOUR's !!!
I always regarded my older brother's marriage as ideal and a model for my own. Sure, they had their challenges but overall it seemed strong and secure. Then out of the blue just two years after my divorce, my brother's marriage fell apart and he got divorced too. Goes to show that it's impossible to know what's really going on behind closed doors and that things can change for the worse very quickly. His ex wife essentially lost her mind due to hormonal changes and childhood trauma that got amplified out of control as a result. Relationships and marriages are very fragile these days and it's best not to become co-dependent or lose oneself in a relationship.
So refreshing to hear someone speak so openly and honestly. At 48 I'm getting towards the end of the potential time to have children. I'm financially very well off, in the best shape and health of my life, there are some women I know of childbearing age I'm very attracted to and might be interested in me, probably with a view to having a family. Part of me thinks I should really want this, it's why we're here, it would be great to have a purpose to drive me forward etc. etc.. But the truth is, except for a brief period when they're funny toddlers, I don't really like kids. My nephews and nieces are a bit annoying, I don't really find them charming, my friends even less so. I'm sure when they're yours it's a bit different, but Like you say, I've never had the urge to go cooing over babies, or playing with dolls when I was a child. The adult ones are interesting, like most adults are, but I don't see a lot of my father, there's not much reason to think adult kids will want to hang out with you, and it's a bloody long time to get there. My older sister has a mental health issue that still causes my father a massive amount of head and heart aches, even at 80 years old, many of my friends have had mentally scarring experiences with at least one of their children's behavioural problems, so there might be just as many difficulties as life affirming experiences, and the problems will cost even more than the blessings. I still have a visceral drive - albeit much less dramatic than it was 25 years ago - to have sex with a hot woman, but the drive to have children, as far as it exists at all, is really purely theoretical. I don't feel a hole in my life that I think I need kids to fill, and it seems entirely selfish to impose the many pains of existence on something for that reason anyway. So I find myself ambivalent about relationships. I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with an older woman, whatever John says, I'm sexually stimulated by signs of youth and fertility, I've seen the impact of menopause on my sisters and mother, and have zero desire to bring that into my life, and I find the energy younger women have to be intoxicating, and the cultural differences more interesting than the commonalities of women my age. As far as a relationship with a younger hot woman goes, I know she will probably want kids, overall I'm probably marginally against the idea, but not completely, I can at least afford it no problem, so if she gives me a really really good time and we completely hit it off I'd be OK with letting nature take it's course, even with all the risks it entails. On some level I think separating the drive to have sex with a nubile woman from the drive to have children is over intellectualising something much deeper than my own cognitive abilities. It's designed to result in children by some force greater than I, I should have the humility to deal with it if that occurs. If I'm too old, ugly or insecure for them, that's fine too, at least I can relax and carry on and enjoy my time and freedom. Relaxed ambivalence is an altogether much better feeling than the manic desperation of my youth. Long live middle age!
Years ago at a family get-together, a married distant relative tried to "shametalk" me for a couple of minutes into getting married while his wife was there beside him listening to us talk. I politely asked him when was the last time he was able to keep a whole paycheck for himself, after taking out half of the household expenses. He got pissed at me for asking him a personal question.
I am 55 - I have not seen a successful, happy marriage my entire life for the man; not from classmates, not from my own family, not from service team members, not from co-workers, not from business acquaintances, not from travel buds, not from friends ... NOT ONE - in fact, EVERY married man I have ever asked has ALWAYS recommended - *Don't EVER get Married* - I heeded those words - the moment marriage makes the table - I leave.
Two marriages totaling forty years so far have taught me to believe in and respect marriage only as a divine institution. That isn't a conclusion borne of happy personal experience (much along the way has NOT been happy), but of a Biblically informed faith. A good husband walks by faith, not by sight.
...anecdotally....among my friends/family/work-mates....50% are divorced, 45% married and miserable, 5% happily married...that last one might be exaggerated...I only know 2 couples that appear to love each other.
That has been my experience as well. I used to have a couple that I worked with who had been married for 50 years. Being in the same room with them was not pleasant. I don’t know how they made it without killing each other. Thanks for your feedback, though. I appreciate it.
@929cbr_rr- Several years ago I heard on the news where an older man robbed a bank and waited near the entrance for the cops so they could arrest him. His response was he couldn’t live with his wife anymore and couldn’t afford to leave.
Thank you. This is definitely what I have observed from my married buddies. Quite of bit of these caveats apply to even non-marital relationshits... er... relationships. It's absolutely NO wonder why men are eschewing marriage, lol.
I’ve heard that from other guys too. It does seem that modern women are looking for something outside of themselves to help them feel happy. Not realizing that happiness is something they can create. I blame Facebook.
Great stuff, John. Do a video about how they always come back, and what to do, as I’m sure yours did. I’d be interested to hear how you handled it when it eventually happened.
Yeah, she did come back. In fact, just a few months ago she asked me if I would take her back again. I told her no. I’m fine being friends with her because our kids need to live in a world where their parents can get along. But there’s no way on earth I would ever bring her back into, a trusted relationship again. She will always be at arms length. Although she is really hot. 😎
We’ve traveled a lot of the same road. You do a great job of articulating it all. Had I heard these lessons at 19, I sure would have done a few things different. Thank you for your channel.
100% accurate. 10 years, 2 kids, now divorced, had to fight for 50/50 even though I’m the one who does the majority of caregiving and carry the financial end, so she can go out and pursue her boss life. DOA
Well, she wouldn’t want anyone to think. She’s a bad mom. She doesn’t really give a damn about having partial custody of the kids. She just doesn’t like the way it appears to others. Very familiar with that aspect of women’s psych.
Thank you , exactly right , every word , your genius. Helps me realize that I’m not as bad as she makes me feel that I am!!! Bless you my friend, love your videos. !
I heard that the federal government matches dollar for dollar the amount of a family court judges retirement based on how much child support they decide to make a man pay. There is no incentive at any level to promote the unity of Marriage- divorce and child support is a big revenue stream for the legal system.
recently sub'd.. as a single man (59, single 13 years) involved in a relationship I am sure about, you are reminding me of things that I have forgotten. Thank you!
I think you just have to be really careful about entering into a marriage contract. When you’re dating, it’s like walking a tightrope. Everyone has to be extremely careful or the relationship will come crashing down. When you’re married, it’s like you suddenly have guard rails to hold onto and the chances of falling or almost 0. That makes it really easy to act stupid and say and do things that you would never do if you were just dating. I think women take us for granted once were married. I think women realize that they have leverage in the contract. So I would just be really cautious about entering into any marriages.
I was recently dating a woman who had a cat. She was homeless and crashing at a friend's place temporarily so her cat was living with me. Her cat is a long-hair exotic and left huge amounts of fur all over my house and also used my bed headboard as a scratching post and destroyed it. I didn't care, I love animals and don't mind cat or dog hair and I don't mind if a cat destroys my furniture, I purposely have crappy furniture because prefer having pets around than luxury furniture. She overstayed her welcome at her friends and stayed with me for a few weeks. During that time, she made tons of complaints about my 15 year old dog who doesn't have bladder control anymore and made several comments that it was time to put him down. Happily, I am no longer seeing her, but I do miss that cat.
My neighbor always dumps his grass clippings in the green dumpster in the service alley. I'm out there a lot myself either dumping my grass clippings or dumping the dog poop. We both have a lot to talk about and always look forward to meeting in the alley. Then you hear DON, DON and he yells IM COMING. Then he says to me I gotta go the boss is calling. Hès a very likeable guy and she is a bitch, no other way to describe her. I always think to myself how TF can he stand her. Another great vid John, you really know how to hit the nails on the head.
@rcas350pilot8 His thirst overrides his dignity. I cannot stand men’s sheepish displays of servitude like this - because I feel it has destroyed our society. Women, with few exceptions, simply CANNOT lead. Leadership is about serving others. They will never even consider this.
One of those "gotta ask the boss, happy wife happy life, my better half" NPCs who drank all the famine-ist kool aid. This is the reality for most males who are zombified on the plantation.
Never again. Being single at 55 is something I value greatly. Being brainwashed into the wife, house, kids deprived me of exploring my true self. Tied to jobs just to pay bills and buy sofas etc 😂 Think long and hard about risk v’s reward gentlemen.
Shout out to all older men who got married before and are coming out to tell us the truth of how it really is in marriage.
I see some married friends and the woman just hen pecks and beats down the man continually. It's painful to watch.
@@Chucky-r8l We're here for you brother!
here. In my 50ies, married, divorced. DON'T EVER F*ING MARRY. If a girl asks you that, have an open discussion. If she still insists - you stand up and leave.
And : get kids when you are young! Best, all of them before you are 30. Just think about your age when they're 18.
This information was not available when I married in 2002. Men mostly suffered in quiet desperation. Maybe you had an uncle that had a bad divorce and that was your only knowledge of it. This despite the fact that being Gen X, nearly everyone I knew was from a broken home. The Men’s Roghts Activists made a little noise in the 90’s and early 00’s but it’s UA-cam that’s really blown the lid off this and exposed the difficulties and pitfalls.
@@stevend8785 The information was definitely not available in 1984!
You right man been married twice. The more I learned about my wife the more I love my classic car.
Keep the rust out of your working parts and you will live a happy life. Regards.
@@PeterSorn-v5s what did she do now??😂😂
@@PeterSorn-v5s I think that I would love your classic car also...
alpha Romeo 159 for me
Four X Here, been there done that =)
HELL TO THE NO! Marriage is a wonderful concept. The reality is much different. "Men are in love. Women are in business."
Nicely said
Wow, never thought of it that way!
@@WTHenry2023 Well go and get on with being a lackey, then !!!
They are also at societal, financial and emotional war with men. General Sun Tzu and Niccolo Machiavelli would both be impressed with their application of their respective doctrines.
@@spaceted3977 is that shame? I’m afraid that doesn’t work anymore, a lot of people stopped giving a fuck about it 😂
Hard lessons learned after wife filed for divorce last year after 10 years and 3 kids. I always thought "would never happen, she's different".
going through it now. With children involved, I never thought she would be as selfish. No reason provided. She basically couldn't get me under her thumb is my reading of the situation.
David, that is what happened to me first time around. Married at 20, and by 32, she decided she wanted a new guy in her life. And when I married her, she at least appeared to be, a christian woman with good values. Didn't turn out that way. Oh well, it helped shape the man I became by the time I was 40. Peace to you brother, I hope you heal well.
In the women's court system they are all the same. You had an entire team waiting to fleece you and I bet you left through the men's door (loser) and she walked away with cash and prizes and an indentured servant.
I never understood that logic tbh. If I see something happening to almost every man, my first thought is not "I'll be the exception" but instead "oh cheat, it could easily happen to me". That's how statistics work.
But hey, we all decide which dices we want to roll I guess. And we all get a bad roll at some point.
@@John_Wood_ correct mate. You stood your ground as a man and did not fall into the trap of her controlling you. This was the cause for divorce on her part.
Keep it simple guys……find a woman you hate and give her a house.
That’s hilarious. I love it!! it saves a lot of time
@@agmjfcom 🤣
@@agmjfcom great comment.. best I’ve seen in a while.
In what order¿???????😢😢😢😢
Um, no, find a woman who hates you and give her half your money lol 😂
This man says what others are afraid to say.
Thanks!
You Tube is full of these truths… try Greg Adams, Better Bachelor, Strong Successful Male and many more.
@@PhilipTikka casey zander is the best when it comes to that. no bs.
@@bobsnittle3793 Casey is more pick up artists than/ dating guru type though he reveals female nature pretty well. It’s more of a short term thing IMHO, the guys I mentioned give advice which remains relevant till the very end of life. And not just that, they make the whole thing very entertaining.
Most men are cowards which is why we have such a mess now with women
Someone once said: "In marriage, you are just ONE bad mood away from getting divorced". Today, wom3n will literally leave you if they are not feeling happy in any given moment. It's out of your control for the most part as your wife is controlled by her emotions and hormones.
100% - if she gets in to a bit of a rut, she blames hubby and thinks the grass is greener elsewhere.
Not just the mood. Its the brain altering medications so many people are on as well.
@throughthefire9225-That is for sure.
Thats one reason s3x robots will replace them easily...I wouldnt myself but I can see it going mainstream 😊
An untenable contract for any logical man.
This happened to me and most of my friends. About mid 30’s the women become unhappy. There is nothing a guy can do to change their mind. My X divorced me, took all the money she could, took the kids, then proceeded to work through and live with at least 10 guys. She is now old, broke, and moved in with the oldest daughter because she is broke. Happens all the time.
That is exactly what’s happening to my ex-wife right now. I helped my daughter buy a house. Now I think my ex-wife might be moving into her basement. Very ironic.
Mid 30s , there eggs get scrambled
😒 i have four ex wives, i met the all around 19, they all started to molt into a Succubuss just like Clockwork before the Age of 30. Ever Single One. Now you can imagine that all these creatures once they had their wings flew away and started roaming for new Prey in their 30s, which means those dudes were the Clean Up Dudes, the dont understand how dangerous that is, these Dames are coming to you with alot of streetwise experienced and they are really good at putting on a face and pretend to act like they are Sweet 19, i can go on and on and on about this, I put in the time, ive done the Tour of Duties, i know what t f im talking about
Age 45 was the "witching hour" for two of my ex-wives (!). What happens to Women at that age?
@@rplace8737 they get on their brooms and fly away with their flying monkees 🎃
I’m now getting divorced after 26 years. I’ll have enough money to buy a small house outright, so it will be ok. I’m honestly just looking forward to running my own life again, & living in peace, after all these years of marriage.
Congratulations and enjoy yourself, you are now free
I wish you good luck. I cannot tell you the feeling of peace I got being on my own, especially those first few months.. divorce was the best thing for both of us. We loved each other, but were two very different personalities who probably should’ve never gotten married to each other.
same here I am not going to divorce but definitely going to shift to my own place saving for same I will hand over all exisiting apartments to kids
It's an amazing experience to be free from the plantation of indentured servitude and usury (western "marriage" for men).
@@gailflora1835 it's funny how some of us guys who have been married a long time..
I was married for 22years coming up 23years .
before my wife passed away to illness .
over the years on and off I had comments about her when she was in her wheelchair who.
was the person I was looking after I said my wife .
some people tought she was my mum because of some of the medicines she was on .
some thought she was my sister as well.
we genuinely got on well but I said no she was my wife but like you mentioned in a relationship some people generally loved and care for each other and it last a life time .some people remain friends after divorce don't get me wrong in our early days we nearly chucked it all away .but we learnt to compromise with each other and the longer your in your relationship you need to remain friends as well as husband and wife.
my mum divorce my dad after 13 years due to someone seeing a weakness in there relationship .
mum lost my nan at that point in time and my dad was not an emotional huggy guy.
long story short both had affairs after the marriage bake down and realised what fools thay had been and got remarried. As thay generally loved each other dad was not an over emotional guy .
and stayed that way until dad passed away .its cost the both in the loss of the family home but thay re started over again. different things effect different people some stuff really is shitty at times that's when we really need God to restore our relationships. I don't do regrets but some thimes I wish we had done things differently. if only we had said sorry or you know let try it your way there might be less stress in relationships but we are human at the end of the day you can't take your house car job or all the money you might have earned with you but you can build Good memories and a happy life. but you need God in your relationship even if thay end to be on good terms with each other take care and may God bless you in the next chapter of your life
I have zero regret not getting married. I do regret not getting my finances in order before 40. Fortunately, I still have years to work and get to control my household expenses.
@@burtbakerack1110 you likely may have ended up in the same financial predicament if you’d married and then divorced in your 40s anyway. So don’t be too hard on yourself.
i think striving in life for a garanteed Pension would make more sense, and a couple of surrogate kids would be nice as well
Subconsciously a lot of women just want kids not necessarily a man
Fact. And they will pour all their love into the kids leaving you sidelined and waaay down the list of priorities. No intimacy and she'll even cut you out of parenting leaving you completely emasculated.
@@plasmaarmelund exactly !
just look at all of their social media profile pictures. no man. just her and the kids.
Add in hypergamy and the state paying them to be vow-breakers and you quickly realize western "marriage" is an absurd concept and contract for any man.
@@rickturnr You are merely the wallet that funds the lifestyle.
So I’m the classic case (married for 20 years then divorced) it’s devastating guys. DO NOT THINK “YOUR GIRL IS DIFFERENT…IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME” Women are very emotional and moods/hormones change as they age. They will do a 180 on you at ANY POINT in the marriage…take half and leave.
My ex-wife was incredibly beautiful and extraordinarily driven by sex That did not last. Sex slowly dropped from four or five times a week to four or five times a month to 4×5 times a year until it was maybe once a year and then maybe once every other year you get the idea.
This is a point I've made on some of John's other vids: people can and often do change and evolve over time. I keep commenting on these vids, for two reasons. One I hope some younger men will read and consider what some of us old guys are saying. And two, to let men going thru this stuff know that you have brothers in arms out here who understand and want you to know, you're going to survive and in fact thrive as time goes by.
@@929cbr_rr Yes, exactly…that’s my reason for commenting also! 🍻
55 years old and never married, but over the years I have co habituated. Co habitation taught me, marriage is out of the question. Ain't no way, and now I refuse to cohabitation. The reward is having what women want, but nope. Sorry, it's all mine, and all for me.
It’s called hypergamy
44 here. Lived in 7 states, worked around the world. Had a couple great relationships. Never married nor kids. Everyone is pressuring me to do so. Guess what, I'm super happy and very active. Make friends and have versatile hobbies. Good luck out there!
Thanks for sharing!
51 and married twice and divorced twice. No kids and just now getting my Financials together as the second one had 3 kids that zapped all savings. I am better now then I ever have been😊
@@T-HoID 59 no kids and never married. The pressure never stops. Keep on keeping on.
@T-HoID can you make a video on how to mange once time as single and relationships
🫡
The way you described it is exactly spot on, like we were married to the same woman. Going through it after 15 years of marriage. There’s good and bad days. On the bad days I try to remind myself of how peaceful life has become once again (once you start getting over the initial shock and heartbreak). At this point, 3 years post separation, my main issue is occasional loneliness. But I’ve come to realize that I don’t miss being married, I miss the company in general. And I’ve found that just hanging out with family and friends or even being at work where I get to socialize, usually is enough for me to fill that need. Stay strong boys.
@@805hiker2 I couldn’t agree more
@@805hiker2 same feelings
Thanks for sharing its learning
It’s a hard lesson but one that you will never forget
Yeah, same here. It's hard to think back to the really good times when she was all the company you ever needed. But at the same time, women are in business, not love. The fact that we are in a blissful moment and at the same time they were thinking "is he the best I can do?" is soul-crushing.
Golden. The hypergamy is stronger now than when we were hunter gatherers. Meaning, women couldn’t be more untrustworthy or less loyal.
Shows you how much men have evolved but women haven’t kept up…
It’s their nature. Don’t be mad at them for it. Just act accordingly. Unfortunately for some reason idiots today think we don’t need the social legal or cultural guardrails to protect women from themselves like every single society and culture knew for 1000s of years
Very cool to "virtually meet" a man at peace with his existence. It's actually quite soothing to realize that solitude is indeed a manageable thing.
Thanks
As a married man I can say that this guy sums it up pretty well. Please spread his message or the video to any single male friends you have. It just might save them long term grief and financial costs, by warning them that “this lady isn’t different”, because that’s what most of us think until we find out the truth much later
Thanks
I have been saying marriage is like prison for years. I got married in 1974 and left in 1981. Been single for 43 years and my life has been good. Retired at 53 years old, now 69, I am feeling good..
Thanks, I agree completely with your assessment of prison and marriage.
@@john-griffin I realized that when I was in my 20's. A lot of men are in denial of that and some need their mommy wives..
Inspiring 👍👍
That’s funny my wife left recently and I told a friend I feel like I got paroled. I can’t do much until things are settled , can’t got back to prison/marriage and can’t go back to my life before it because that world and people are gone.
@@DavidVincent-g8i You can start your life again immediately. A few ideas, hit the gym, get off of garbage food if you are so inclined. Look at your money and try to protect it as much as possible. It's tough when you first get paroled but it will work out. The main thing, is to stay away from women unless it is for an hour or two and for Pete's sake, control your small head.
The massive mood swings are exhausting
@@terence.j Bipolar then!!!!!!?
I'm 49 I've never been in a romantic relationship I've never been married and I'm child free that's the best decision I've ever taken
You are doing it right. Enjoy your freedom brother.
How do you know that?
@@carlossebastiannecroticgot7232 Do you ever find yourself yearning for intimate human connection (I don't mean sex), and do you ever wonder if you have a healthy amount of realistic cynicism?
You did well 👍🏻
Do you ever feel you missed out? I'm 43 and never been in a relationship, I've never felt the need to go on dating sites. It's partly because I've had depression and social anxiety all my life.
The key phrase that I would hope that young men take from this conversation is: you can be replaced ( and probably will be ).
Sooner or later definitely when she’s not haaaaaapy.
Turd Flinging Monkey used to say,” she’s not your girl, it’s just your turn”.
work on yourself and replace her, too
t.u.r.d. Flinging monkey used to say, “she’s not your girl, it’s just your turn “.
TFM used to say, she’s not your girl, it’s just your turn
At age 65, I am experiencing a big financial benefit from never getting married.
I bet you are! That poultry little tax break they give you each year doesn’t cover anything. I raise three children and I estimate each child cost between a half million and 1 million to raise each.
Wait! You get given chickens in the States each year if you’re not married?
@@john-griffin so, the tax credit for kids not that great?
According to financial advisory experts divorce is one of the biggest impediments to wealth accumulation
Me too! I can retire if I wish.
Should You Get Married?
Men, NEVER voluntarily give the government and family courts jurisdiction over your assets, and future income.
In my CPA practice, clients often ask how I feel about marriage.
I usually answer them with a question of my own.
“How many other relationships do you have where you have signed a legal document and a license that will force you to go to a court to terminate that relationship?”
"For example, have you and your best friend signed a Best Friend License?"
Of course the answer is no.
Imagine you have a Best Friend License and before you can stop being friends with that person you have to file a lawsuit. You will need to hire attorneys and a judge has to approve you no longer being best friends.
Then that judge can legally take some of your assets and give them to your former best friend against your will. That judge can also order you to pay a monthly amount to that former best friend forever.
And imagine the courts are biased against you and favor your best friend in every way while in court.
Of course, we all see how ridiculous it would be to ever sign a best friend's license.
A marriage license should be viewed the same way.
The adversarial party to the marital contract, your wife, is financially incentivized to breach this contract, (file for divorce against you), where you have no such equal benefit, and with NO consequence to her.
I don’t blame women for filing for divorce at such a high rate.
Any contract where one party has no consequences of any kind if they breach, but instead has benefits and incentives, is not legal in my opinion.
As a compromise, if your beloved demands marriage, consider a religious ceremony with no corresponding governmental paperwork. Make sure this cannot be construed as a legal marriage in your state.
Voluntarily bringing governmental and judicial oversight into any of your personal relationships is insanity. With a marriage license, this is only strengthened by the fact that the family laws are heavily biased towards women and mothers.
Voluntarily giving family courts the authority to seize your property and income streams, and give them to another person sometime in the future, is irrational and self-destructive and should never be done under any circumstances.
Never sign any contract where the other party has little or no consequence for breaching it. A woman has incentives to breach a marriage license (contract). Men, never sign such an agreement.
Great perspective, thanks for sharing. However, I’m fairly certain that, so long as you simply appear to be a married couple, whether you are legally married or not, the court will treat you as such. At least that’s how it is here in Texas…
@@marcoemiliovalle7708 Very few states still recognize couples as common-law married. Those that do, in some form, include Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Texas and Utah, as well as the District of Columbia
@@marcoemiliovalle7708 Good Point.
Well stated
All facts. Untenable contract for men.
Gentlemen,
Listen to this man. Don’t learn the hard way.
This is all so true. I'm 72 and have been through it. This is real. Young men need to be for warned because the emotional pain feels waaaaayyyy worse than you can imagine before it happens to you. Be very careful.
I am 70 and as a kid in the early 60's my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles with one exception were all married and all seemed content and happy being husbands and wives. I remember that each spouse from my tamily had significant roles that they played in the marriage . A formula for success so to speak back then at least in my family.. It seems to me that the game changed for the worse by the late 60's into the 70's. The next generation lost what the generation that my mom and dad represented had.
modern woman refuses to be a woman and won't let the man be a man. It's a recipe for disaster...
sir things have changed there is no sense of belonging in today in family and one becomes a burden in old age better find our own way without disturbing others life and time
The day no-fault/no-reason divorce laws came into effect was the day western "marriage" became an untenable contract for men.
You’re right - it was the late sixties. Everyone was getting divorced. It hadn’t happened like that before.
Birth control and the Sexual Revolution. Rollo talks about it all the time.
I wish these videos existed 20 years ago.
Me too, but I think I may have been too stupid to take my own advice 20 years ago. Thinking with the wrong head, you know.
@@john-griffin Agree. Some lessons are best learned the hard way to let them sink in. Otherwise, they will be repeated.
@@john-griffin I don't know that you would have, John. When you look at the current stats from the USA, young men are abandoning relationships with women at astonishing rates. Are you aware of the 2022 Pew Research study of 18 to 29 year olds? They found 62% of a study groups of 5000 young men stated they were, "Single, not looking". Only 32% of the young women put themselves in that category.
The sharing of information now gives men a very clear picture of the risks. Most young men have seen fathers, uncles, brothers, friends and work colleagues get screwed over in divorce and have also seen a significant number of men get falsely accused by women and charged despite no evidence.
The tide is turning.
🙂 2004, i remember the early 2000s the new thing was Pickup Artist Stuff and Cold Approaching, which was definitely more viable back then, Dames off the street were definitely more approachable, so these videos might not have made sense back then yet.
Yeah, would have been nice....
A marriage counselor told me that a lack of a divorce is NOT an indication of a successful marriage. He told me that he has met many couples that have been married for 20 years but haven't spoken to each other for 15 years! I was only married for a few years, I can't imagine living with someone that has become a stranger to me.
Facts! I'd dare to say that most marriages today are miserable. Just go to any store and observe couples out shopping together. Not a happy sight!
I lived like that the last 10 years.. my ex totally ignored me. No marriage there.
@@theglobalvagabond3074 The stat I have heard is that only 13 percent of marriages are happy
@@plasmaarmelund rightly said
I know a counselor, she told me years ago, only about 1/4 of her married clients are happily married. 😅
I know some men that lost everything when they got divorced. I recently ended my engagement because my ex refused to pay for anything. Even a dinner bill. I told her I can't afford this. The risks were too high. It took me 28 years to pay off my mortgage. My gut was telling me bail out. So, I did. I'm sure I'll be dying alone. It's ok.
You dodged a bullet, my friend. Dying alone is OK. Be at peace with it. We'll all go back to being one with the universe as we came from stardust.
You’re never alone when you can hear your own thoughts! Live well, my friend
@@plasmaarmelund Thank you. Yes. I fully agree! Live life happy.
@@john-griffin Thank you. I can hear my thoughts quite clearly now. Life is good.
She would have taken half your home after 7 years, married another man, taken half his home and then bought herself her own home. I knew an older woman who had four shipping containers on her property, each one contained all of the household possessions from each one of her marriages, she was ruthless!
The fact that there’s such a thing as a “man cave” tells you that the house is hers
That’s very true. Good observation.
@@jadenkutz once we were CAVE MEN, drag them out by their long hair when they were moody., like when they were bitching about wanting HALF THE CAVE and wanting a divorce…
@@gustavscholten597😂😂
The thing is that men allow it.
Marriage is a business contract and an institution. I was married for 20 years. She cheated, left me and forced me to sell our home and took half. I will never get married AGAIN. I have worked too hard to rebuild and buy another home. It’s fun to flick women away as soon as a red flag pops up. No loss, no schedules and I can be selfish.
Same happened to me brother 20 years also I went through three long agonizing years in divorce court and may I say I had a prenup protecting assets prior to the marriage in a nutshell the lady judge threw it out and I will never and I mean never get married again never
BINGO ! ... marriage has absolutely nothing to do with love and romance = the 2 of you have entered into a business partnership - everything that requires a license, permit, etc, is commercial ... look up and watch 'Esoteric Agenda' and 'Kymatica' and note the parts about contracts, certificates, licenses, and especially capital letters = everything in all capital letters is commercial - notice your names on practically everything (drivers & marriage license, SS & insurance cards, birth certificate, etc ???
i survived 4 exwives, i didnt lose any of my properties because i had nothing in my name 😅
He who has nothing to lose loses nothing 😅😅
@MattyLiam333 ... "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" - Janis Joplin 'Me and Bobby McGee'
I got married at 27 after being pressure by her to do so. Divorced at 30 with one child and yes the judge gave her the world financially, never married since. I’m now 65 and enjoying my live, living alone. If you’re young and have never been married, really give it careful thought, discuss it with other men who have been married or maybe still are, consider their opinions. Chances are They’ll tell you HELL NO!
It's crazy how when I'm single, everything in my home is spotless, but when a woman is temporarily living under my roof while in a relationship, everything is suddenly dirty and I need to do my "share" of the chores. It's not my hair clogging the drain, my clothes all over the place or my dishes piling up in the sink. 😂
I use paper plates. I need to do dishes one-time per week. Since I rewash my silverware each day, those dishes are about 7 glasses and two cook pans.
😂 exactly. Hair all over the floor, shower filled with products, counter cluttered, etc
The married ones might be happy now, but give it some time. It's ONLY a matter of time before it all goes downhill and turns to crap. Just wait and see. NOTHING lasts forever.
The older she gets, the better she could have been if she hadn't married you. That's the subconscious mindset inside her head.
I concur.I envied alot of college buddies on their mid 20s marriages.Fast forward ten years and they are squirming.Sexless marriage and bad finances and inlaw issues.Run for the hills guys!
💯
🙂 im not sure but the current stats if you only look at first marraiges couple, and they got married in 2001 to 2024, that chances of the marriage leading to a Family Cemtery Burial where Husband and Wife is laid next to each other has a failure rate of about 80% at Best
My Father used to say, " the only difference between a wedding and a funeral was that you could smell the flowers at a wedding".....after a ruinous marriage of 15 years my ex got her Psychology degree and a $240000 job at the expense of my staying home to look after the 2 children and putting my life on hold and earning potential up the creek, as an at home Dad. I got fleeced at the divorce hearing because basically I'm a man.I couldn't claim loss of income or any compensation.. go figure. That was when I was 50 and after 5 or 6 years of online dating looking for someone else I gave up because most of the women I met had so many issues and demands I basically ended up with a type of PTSD . It took some years to get my life together again and I'm now 70 . I see no reason to get involved with women at all and haven't for over 10 years . Is life great ...not overly but the tangible feeling of not having to put up with relationships with women and their baggage is palpable and over all I'm more content with my own company as each day passes. Thanks again John Griffin you're spot on with you videos I hope many men listen to what you're saying
It sounds like you really got the bad end of the stick all the way around. I’m sorry that happened to you. But at the same time, I’m glad you’re free of it. Hopefully you still have a good relationship with your kids. And you have to admit having autonomy over your own day-to-day life is, wonderful.
Listening to what John-griffin is saying is the next step for men's survival.
SO many single women over the age of 40 have issues. Some examples of things I have had said to me recently: 1) "Ive been flooded with men on Tinder it is overwhelming. I will cancel our first date as I had better banter with some other guys" 2) After 5 dates, and making love, where she was groaning in pleasure and was clearly REALLY turned on "I will only make love to you again if you are better than the first time"! (noone has complained before!). 3) After 3 dates when I tried to kiss her at the end of the night "What are you doing!?" 4) After copulating like rabbits for the first few months, she moved in with me - because it was working really well, and when I made a romantic move "What are you doing!? I don't think your desire for sex matches mine" 5) After 1 date - she sends me a survey about our love styles....
@@PeterCunningham-rk5qk Been there, lived a similar situation. Ex is now a health care executive. She wanted a divorce and a year later married a doctor.
@@rememberdavid9329 My X married a senior public servant on around $300000 that makes about a million between them. I moved around a fair bit after splitting up and left some clothes and kitchen stuff at her place while I found my own place. When I came around to her place to pick up my stuff this guy was wearing my clothes and drinking out of a coffee cup the kids gave me for Fathers day....I should have knuckled them both....little things mean a lot,
Simple answer... NO
amen
Great answer! Thanks
Well sad😅
I listened to a divorce lawyer from NY on a podcast a while back that said, “Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.”
What I said...
It's amazing how women weaponize intimacy very quickly into marriage ,mine started on our wedding night Divorced 6 yrs now, extremely happy,and have money for the first time ever and I'm 68
It's called the bait-and-switch and every married feem ale does it. They (and all of soyciety) actually expect the man to be a married in cell for the rest of his life, because his vow-breaker "doesn't feel like it" the second she owns him. Now imagine the outrage if a man withheld intimacy or said I quit my job on day 1 of marriage.
They use men
I am very happily married for 36 years but no way in gods green earth would I ever do it again
Interesting take on it. One would have to wonder, if you are "that" happy, I would think you would want to do it again.
@@IAmTheEggMan111 I am with you on that. I just clocked 39 years. I actually can't tell whether I am happy or not as the emotional roller-coaster makes it all a blur. I lose 2 to 3 nights sleep a week as she suddenly finds something to get upset about right on bedtime. It was worse a few years ago but, on my third threat of leaving, she got some help. The problem is I was so done at that point, that even though things are considerably better now I feel like I am just acting a lot of the time. NEVER AGAIN for me.
@@929cbr_rr He speaks from experience and knows he was one of the lucky few. Try not to be so obtuse.
@@effortless-one Its called supply. Narcissists, whether covert or overt need that constant supply of attention and if they don't receive it, they create it. I was married to one (covert) for 17 years and not until year 10 did I start to investigate. Nobody should ever have to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting their partner. Does she ruin vacations and holidays? How about the silent treatment? Gaslighting with things like "you" lost or misplaced your keys, when it was her that hid them. Yea, I don't miss midnight to sometimes 3:00 a.m. arguments over BS. Narcissism and BPD (borderline personality disorder) are virtually impossible to heal from and wow, 39 years? You are probably what the experts call trauma bonded. It's never too late to get your life back.
@@929cbr_rrNo, he merely recognizes the risk. Smart man.
it's the threat of divorce that emboldens women. Take that away and they'd be meek as kittens. And now that the me-too moment has mucked up dating, single women are feeling the pinch. Good for them, you go gurl. Change that tire, you got this! Pay those bills, you don't need no man ! Car won't start? No worries, you're strong and independent. Call your BFFs, sit around and cry about it...maybe that'll get it started.
True
The bear can change the tire
lol I had a friend (a girl) call me and several of our friends up cause her car broke down… I told her to call a mechanic, and she doesn’t even speak much ever since.. bye Felicia! No one’s missing you!
😏 LOL, its strange but some of these older women are loaded with money, so they could simply build a network or blue collar men in the are to service the house, handymans, pool guy, mobile mechanic. Its strange. The only thing I can think of is that they are just really stingy to cough up their money just like Scrooge.
Toxic feminism is ruining women nowadays. I know you guys out there are thinking no, not my wife or girlfriend. Please don’t complicate your life. That old saying still stands. No wife happy life.
Sometimes I think toxic feminism should be renamed to Chronic Bitchism. Could you blame me?
Happy wife sick, sad wasted life.
@@davidpitchford6510 I've got a buddy who's been married 40 years and his wife has severe mental problems, being under the care of a psychiatrist and taking psychoactive prescription drugs. He told me that he has been in so much stress over the years that he has developed stomach ulcers and now he has to take prescription meds to treat that condition. His life has been pure hell, but he didn't have the balls to leave her.
Agreed 👊🏾…. I am 58, got married 4 years ago at 54… Never been married before this my first and last time…. The stupidest thing I have did in my 58 years on this earth….. I filed for divorce back in June after 4 years married and 9 years together…
No wife, no strife
I told an older woman that I fed the stray cats in my yard. She told me why I had to spend on the animals, so I told her, cuz I didn’t have to worry about rattlesnakes. I stopped talking to her. The other day I went to Pizza Hut and had wings . I asked this 27 yr old girl to bring me a bag, cuz I was taking the left over to my stray cats. She smiled and went back to the kitchen and got me more leftovers. She was really happy to hear someone cared about the homeless cats. It seems that the older women get the more they become bitter ...
Yep. I have a couple stray cats that hang out in my yard too. I figure they keep the mice away from my RV. A little cat food for them seems like a fair trade. The one that hangs out in my backyard, my dog has reached an uneasy truce with her !
@@929cbr_rrsame here! 2 strays. Feed them daily.
Older women carry a ton of baggage. They usually fall into a few groups: 1.) manhater who needs a man to take out her frustrations on; 2.) broke and needs a man to bail her out of her financial problems; 3.) mentally unstable, bipolar and/or schizophrenic; 4.) has kids who are juvenile delinquents or else in their 30s and still living at home (losers). Don't even think of marrying or even living with an older woman.
sure they become Scrooge, bah humbug 🙂
My demanding 200 lbs ex gf dumped me about two years ago. Sad at first; happy now. I retired and traveled to Asia. Happy days
Mine started out 5'6" and 125 lbs. Pretty girl too.
After our second child, she was still 5'6" tall but the width changed considerably. She hit 190 - 200 and stayed there. Insecure, self conscious, she hated (hates) the way she felt (feels) about herself but wouldn't do a damned thing about it. The easiest thing to do was to be hateful and bitter at me, because of what I must be thinking about her.
@@Brian-qg9bm
That is all cope on her part. She wants the kids but isn't emotionally mature enough to deal with the responsibilities of being a parent so they balloon and blame it on that.
Sounds like a lot of guys are following in your footsteps. There must be a really great ex patriot community.
@@Brian-qg9bm that was me. I was at fault for not loving her enough
Well rid of 200lb turn off.
I was happily married until she wasn't. So those respond to you they are happy, they are! But it can change next month.
Believe me, I know! I thought I was in heaven until I realized I wasn’t
Yes! So you are happy in mariage only if she and only She is happy in it!
@@bbosc674 yes sir! happiness of the husband never is seen as important, nor are the kids involved in what happiness in a woman. We live in weird times. i was a blue pilled guy up to my last divorce. I will never spend time on this hobby of women again. i have spent to much money and time and was not able to make 2 marriages work to make a woman happy. now it is my time to get my finances together and work on hobbies that make me happy. i am content, at times i think of having a friend with benefits, but i do not have the tolerance to deal with all that even goes with that.
@@john-griffin agree. i loved having a wife i spent almost every day for 8 years with her three kids. then found out she was not backing me as a step dad and the kids pounced to get me gone. they have had full control of the house since i left and she use to call and ask for my opinion on what she should do. i have cut ties fully now and wanting to live more remote and work on my forever home and work on growing food and have a much more peaceful life. i tried to date again after divorce and it was another crap fest. so i am out. enjoy my tobacco pipe and ride motorcycles and make videos on YT myself. mine are more fun based and enjoyment of life.
this is the real issue, they will check out anytime they want and the state approves and rubber stamps it like nothing happened, leaving the man broken and destroyed without remorse
I was supposed to get married and finally decided to cancel the wedding. I would’ve been insane to go through with the wedding as my girl friend turned out to be a violent drunk. I actually preferred living with my parents in their finished basement serving as their elder care insurance. For one thing neither of my parents were emotionally disturbed so at least for me they were both easy to get along with.
Dodged a bullet and doing a good service for your parents. Win/win.
@@masterblaster1502 I had an ex girlfriend who was a violent drunk as well. She had 2 cats and drank copious amounts of wine. Stereotypes exist for a reason. The relationship lasted 4 and 1/2 months.
I knew a middle aged man whose wife was a secret raging alcoholic. She would drink an entire bottle of Scotch every night and beat him up while she was drunk. He just took it, along with the financial cost of the liquor, and kept quiet. I only found out it was happening by accident. You didn't dodge a bullet. You dodged a nuclear missile.
😏 dam you dodged a bullet, as for Elder Care it is very expensive if you need a Nurse to come by and do checkups, in addition they would need a Driver, and a HandyMan, somone to do errands, Housekeeper, it can get really expensive really fast. And we are talking about just one parent.
If I had known this information in my twenties, the whole focus of my life would have been different.
😎 Hit and Move
I'm SO glad I NEVER wanted kids. Even when I was a kid, I thought other kids were noisy. I think I had an old soul. I'm SO glad now to be single and FREE of ALL the nonsense.
You’re totally fine. No problem
Yeah, procreating is nonsense. It's better to be selfish and live only for yourself. /s
I agree with you half way. It's important for good people to have children. If you don't know what good is, then you'll have to think about that. A country needs to have responsible citizens. I didn't have kids either. They can be very annoying, but in some ways they can be just as or more mature than adults. I think it's extremely important to have similar political views as your wife or hers similar to yours, otherwise the differences can bring on heaps of trouble.
Don’t rob yourself the joy of being a father bro u can have kids and not deal with the woman …..don’t let women rob u of the job of passing on ur genetics
When my GF brings up marriage, I ask "Why?" She never has a rational answer. I tell her it's not her I'm anxious about, it's the state (i.e. family court). For high net worth individuals, marriage is a high-risk, low-reward proposition.
As a 1%er, I can verify that 1% status doesn't insulate one from her being an "alpha-widow." Great meme: A couple in bed, him contentedly sleeping, his Superman cape draped over a chair, her sitting up in bed with the thought bubble "Is he really the best I can do?"
So true! Just look at what happened to Kevin Costner, Tom Brady, Johnny Depp, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Tyrese Gibson, and many other highly successful men. No one is safe. Bait and switch is real. And you can meet someone who's amazing to begin with, but they change over time and particularly in marriage.
Marriage license is really a licensed for a woman to take control of your life. Do not allow it.
She knows marriage secures cash and prizes. If she gets pregnant because she 'forgot" to take her birth control it is almost as bad except you get to keep your stuff, but 40% of your gross plus extras are heading her way.
The ladies are well educated by their hive members on how to set the table for divorce and they follow the playbook.
@john-griffin Amen and AMEN🙌
she wants to retire early. that is what she would answer , if she were honest.
All of the things you spoke of as negatives are true for most of us; some won't admit it. Since I've been free for 12 years and no longer feel any of the initial divorce pain, I did chuckle at quite a few statements due to how accurate they are. I would add that guys generally are content and can survive with less while the wife's needs tent to continually increase.
🙂 sure, medical care, as their bodies fail they will need Housekeeper, Handyman, Driver, Errand Boys, Hospital, Clinics, Supermarket, Bank, Post Office. Ive been there, they have no idea whats coming down the pike.
I got divorced after 12 years. A few years later I married a Dominican woman in her country. I’m 49 she is 45. Her kids are grown and she can no longer have more. I only speak english and she only speaks spanish which cuts out a lot of the arguments.😅 Its unusual but working so far. Last one for me.
That is fascinating! Thanks
I'm gonna be 50 in December. I do NOT regret avoiding marriage or having kids.
I’m 70 ,never married,no children and the only things l’ve missed are BIG HEADACHES!!
You mentioned women’s monthly cycle. It’s important to also consider menopause. I was married for 23 years. Then she hit perimenopause and it all went south. The marriage did not survive it. It was not because I didn’t try. She just was hit really hard by it and it seemed reasonable to her that ending the marriage would improve her life. It didn’t. It just took a few years for her body to reach the other side. But the marriage ended anyway.
Yes, menopause is the worst. Because then they’re either getting zero hormones or they’re getting 10 X hormones. Do you never know what you’re gonna get from day-to-day
Spot on. When my wife (eventually) had perimenopause confirmed after, probably, a couple of years of it, I remeber standing on the stairs and thinking "well, that's me fucked". If only I knew. 3 years down the line and she has told me she has no interest in sex and hasn't really for the last 5 years. Plus I'm apprently crap at it too. This has led to a functional relationship, lack of emotional connection (certainly on my part), chronic alcohol use, substantial weight gain and a feeling of hopelesness. We have been together almost 30 years and I'm nearly 50. I didn't expect this in the early days. I love my kids dearly so I'll take one for the team. Once the banging stops, the feelgood hormones go and the connection withers. I don't know if I would have believed anybody that tried to tell me anyway.
@@mightymike2192 Some things have to be learned the hard way, unfortunately. Got to walk that mile in the shoes to really get it. Unfortunately it's one of - if not the - hardest one to learn; the cost is so high.
Like I always say, I wish we had UA-cam when I was in my teens. It would’ve helped me avoid a lot of the mistakes I made in my life.
Yeah, listening to losers complain is a great life strategy.
I have been married twice now and would never recommend any man doing it. I’m 70 now
agree, i did four Tour of Duties, im only advising my Son to look for a couple of surogate kids if you so desire, but dont get involved with any Dames
I was married for 18 years, I don’t really remember that many good times except for 1 or 2. What I DO remember are the times when I met up with my old college buddies and listened to our favourite songs, played guitar, 🍺 and played video games. We still stay in touch and play games online once a while, each of us is in a different country!
A DOG IS A MUCH BETTER COMPANION. NO DRAMA, NO RISKS, JUST A LOVING FRIEND.
80/20 rule in my experience at 59. 8 out of 10 of my buddy's got divorced and I live in Phoenix. Women are definitely never happy today. Just back from golfing. Had the whole course to myself! Timmy C Arizona
You go, playa!😆
I’ve just visited Phoenix last month loved and all the best for the future mate
57, single now for 15 yrs, was married for 11. Never again.
15? yeah you should be in the clear 😒👍
56, MGTOW for 17 years, never married, but didn’t have to be to learn how dangerous females and their matriarchal state are. I hate this world. It’s wicked. I’ll stay single rather than fall victim.
ya picked a fine time to leave me, lucille. - kenny rogers (1977)
New sub here. You are so right! Been divorced for over 15 years. I’ve only had a few dates all of which were a complete waste of time. Love my single life. As the old saying goes, if it floats, flies, or f*cks, rent it - don’t buy it.
I like that saying. I think I should get a tattooed on the back of my hand so I never forget it. Thanks.
@@misterrick9734 Words that should really be lived by 🍻
😒 the problem is most dates nowadays is the old school world BLIND DATES and that was never a good idea in any time period, i wouldnt be going out with any stranger at least not where i live, if im traveling then thats different
Thank you for this video, John. I just turned 50 years of age a couple of days ago, NEVER married, NO kids. I thank God almost every day for never having allowed me to give into any of my ex's demands to get married or have kids.
Romance, dating, dating apps, social media, going to clubs/bars, marriage, having kids, divorce universe is completely lopsided in favor of one side at the expense of the other and because of that there is virtually an infinite variety of reasons for men to not marry and the other side to continue to chase the top 10% of men. There are so many men who don't even ask for numbers anymore because the llepht, social media, university educations continues to enable feemails to berate a man for simply not being "her type."
So much must change, and my instinct is telling me these dynamics are going to mutate so bad that we are looking at problems never experienced by humanity.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
I believe you are right and relationships generally are in big trouble
Guys, don't let her bully you into marriage. And yes I am a woman.
you shouldnt be in a relationship with a bully
I’m married to myself - being single safes me from endless headaches 😌
I’m happily married now for 21 years. I married a woman from Thailand who is very family oriented.
if she has an apple , she has a banana
@@WhiteGhost21haha, she’s not a ladyboy
Congratulations!! I’m glad to hear some people are HAPPY
Sure...very family oriented I've heard...as in giving YOUR money to HER family...
I saw on another channel that loyalty is a masculine trait and pragmatism is a feminine trait. That seems pretty accurate to me. As the song says "What's love got to do with it?"
Yeah, that’s really good information. I think you’re exactly right.
I’m a recovering alcoholic, been sober 14 years. Pleasing a woman is just another addiction. Plain and simple. I’ve been sober from women for 5 1/2 years. No stress. No criticism.
Excellent comparison
@@john-griffin NO wife=Happy Life.
@@cbn7239 I like that
😏👍 going to pickup a 6pack of Old Style this Afternoon
@@john-griffin Fraudulent comparison.
Just as fraudulent as saying that devoting yourself to the emotional well being of your child or your aging parent is an 'addiction'
Newsflash:That spouse IS somebody's child - and, often - somebody's aging parent.
You're pathologizing empathy for a spouse's well being in a way that would be utterly indefensible in those other contexts.
All so some fecking YT channel can cynically turn a buck leading that MGTOW parade.
And it's utterly vile.
I almost got married when I was 19 years old and the wised up...almost 70 years old never married no kids and retired..Lifes good!😊😊😊
I endorse everything I’m hearing in this video and most of the comments. If I had my life to live again, I would not get married or have children. At an age when I should be free to enjoy leisure activities, travel, improve my skills in certain creative endeavors, and develop new relationships, I remain shackled to a petulant, deadbeat wife and four dependent adult children who either can’t or won’t gain self sufficiency.
Man, I think I made out great. Never married no children. I taught elementary school for almost 20 years.
Dependent adult children? Sorry, but you're a sap. Tell them to get a job. Man, that's pathetic.
Dependent adult children? Sorry, but you're a sap. Tell them to get a job. Man, that's pathetic.
@@andre1987eph Good for you my friend. You avoided a major pitfall in life (for men).
Who raised those losers? Z
'the lifestyle is more important than you are'.
This sums up everything I've seen about marriage.
John, I just came across your channel and have been watching your various episodes. During each episode I break out laughing and almost to tears, so funny, so real and so to the point. I had a question for you. How do you know my ex-wife so well? 😅😂😅😂 Keep up the good work. Maybe I am just laughing at myself and how your comments are related to my situation. All be best to you! Wishing positive energy for a long and happy life. Cute dogs by the way.
I’m glad you enjoy it. I think it’s funny because it’s true. The absurdity of what we put ourselves through. Just has to be laughed at. We all make the same stupid mistakes. I think that’s just part of being human. And since we’re all gonna die in the end, anyway we might as well laugh and have some fun along the way. Thanks for watching. I appreciate it.
"That lifestyle is more important than you are" soooooooo true!!!!!
One factor not mentioned was menopause in women. Menopause can really put a man through the ringer, which will squeeze the last bit of patience and tolerance a man has left.
It's rough. imagine being the one actually going through it. Z
Show men early in life how divorce laws and alimony works, 60% divorce rate and 95% cut off sex. No man would marry knowing this.
100%
I never married because I witnessed my 3 sisters and most of my friends get divorced... The few who remained married look miserable to me. They aren't even particularly friendly toward one another... I never quite understood why people subject themselves to marriage.
It's an outdated contract and way for two people to live together which isn't compatible with today's relationship dynamics and what men and women want in life.
😏 its because People Are Sheep, they haven't realized we aren't living in Colonial Times anymore, if everything around us would start to really look like a Cyberpunk Video Game then things would start to sink in alot better,
Searching the comments - where are the women with well reasoned compelling arguments as to why marriage is a good idea for men? I think they aren’t there for 2 reasons. First, most women don’t care what men want or think so they don’t watch the video, and second, there really is no good argument for a man to take on so much risk for a woman - you’re in the realm of emotion and desire there, not reason.
I was married for well over 20 years , part time single now for 7 . I said part time because this time around it's on my terms , having lived the experience of surrendering every thing that mattered to me to my ex wives whims I 've learn to never allow that to happen again !!!
At this stage of our lives companionship is the name of the game . No more what's mine is yours , and what's yours is YOUR's !!!
Not sure if its intentional, but I appreciate the peaceful pauses in your delivery, lets the wisdom you're speaking sink in for the audience. 👍
I always regarded my older brother's marriage as ideal and a model for my own. Sure, they had their challenges but overall it seemed strong and secure. Then out of the blue just two years after my divorce, my brother's marriage fell apart and he got divorced too. Goes to show that it's impossible to know what's really going on behind closed doors and that things can change for the worse very quickly. His ex wife essentially lost her mind due to hormonal changes and childhood trauma that got amplified out of control as a result. Relationships and marriages are very fragile these days and it's best not to become co-dependent or lose oneself in a relationship.
Married @3 yrs?!! You from Appalachia? Z
Oops. Didn't catch the "er". z
So refreshing to hear someone speak so openly and honestly. At 48 I'm getting towards the end of the potential time to have children. I'm financially very well off, in the best shape and health of my life, there are some women I know of childbearing age I'm very attracted to and might be interested in me, probably with a view to having a family. Part of me thinks I should really want this, it's why we're here, it would be great to have a purpose to drive me forward etc. etc.. But the truth is, except for a brief period when they're funny toddlers, I don't really like kids. My nephews and nieces are a bit annoying, I don't really find them charming, my friends even less so. I'm sure when they're yours it's a bit different, but Like you say, I've never had the urge to go cooing over babies, or playing with dolls when I was a child. The adult ones are interesting, like most adults are, but I don't see a lot of my father, there's not much reason to think adult kids will want to hang out with you, and it's a bloody long time to get there. My older sister has a mental health issue that still causes my father a massive amount of head and heart aches, even at 80 years old, many of my friends have had mentally scarring experiences with at least one of their children's behavioural problems, so there might be just as many difficulties as life affirming experiences, and the problems will cost even more than the blessings.
I still have a visceral drive - albeit much less dramatic than it was 25 years ago - to have sex with a hot woman, but the drive to have children, as far as it exists at all, is really purely theoretical. I don't feel a hole in my life that I think I need kids to fill, and it seems entirely selfish to impose the many pains of existence on something for that reason anyway. So I find myself ambivalent about relationships. I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with an older woman, whatever John says, I'm sexually stimulated by signs of youth and fertility, I've seen the impact of menopause on my sisters and mother, and have zero desire to bring that into my life, and I find the energy younger women have to be intoxicating, and the cultural differences more interesting than the commonalities of women my age. As far as a relationship with a younger hot woman goes, I know she will probably want kids, overall I'm probably marginally against the idea, but not completely, I can at least afford it no problem, so if she gives me a really really good time and we completely hit it off I'd be OK with letting nature take it's course, even with all the risks it entails. On some level I think separating the drive to have sex with a nubile woman from the drive to have children is over intellectualising something much deeper than my own cognitive abilities. It's designed to result in children by some force greater than I, I should have the humility to deal with it if that occurs. If I'm too old, ugly or insecure for them, that's fine too, at least I can relax and carry on and enjoy my time and freedom. Relaxed ambivalence is an altogether much better feeling than the manic desperation of my youth. Long live middle age!
Even if y’all “completely hit it off “, it will be “very short lived “. Then the feeling of being on the plantation sets in. Better wake brother.
Thanks for sharing your story
Very well said Jake!
Your humility is rare and refreshing.
Years ago at a family get-together, a married distant relative tried to "shametalk" me for a couple of minutes into getting married while his wife was there beside him listening to us talk.
I politely asked him when was the last time he was able to keep a whole paycheck for himself, after taking out half of the household expenses. He got pissed at me for asking him a personal question.
Don’t ask questions, especially if the Mrs is around
Tom cruise didnt stay married..And he seems like hes allways smiling
His smile is his veneered teeth
😎
This dude is the greatest truth teller... Thank you
Thanks I really appreciate your feedback
Another great presentation, many thanks for posting. Thankfully I never got married. I'm truly contented.
Thanks for watching. Appreciate it.
I am 55 - I have not seen a successful, happy marriage my entire life for the man; not from classmates, not from my own family, not from service team members, not from co-workers, not from business acquaintances, not from travel buds, not from friends ... NOT ONE - in fact, EVERY married man I have ever asked has ALWAYS recommended - *Don't EVER get Married* - I heeded those words - the moment marriage makes the table - I leave.
So true!
Two marriages totaling forty years so far have taught me to believe in and respect marriage only as a divine institution. That isn't a conclusion borne of happy personal experience (much along the way has NOT been happy), but of a Biblically informed faith. A good husband walks by faith, not by sight.
...anecdotally....among my friends/family/work-mates....50% are divorced, 45% married and miserable, 5% happily married...that last one might be exaggerated...I only know 2 couples that appear to love each other.
That has been my experience as well. I used to have a couple that I worked with who had been married for 50 years. Being in the same room with them was not pleasant. I don’t know how they made it without killing each other. Thanks for your feedback, though. I appreciate it.
@@john-griffin I knew a couple like that. The fella passed away from cancer a few years ago in his 80's. At least he finally found peace.
@929cbr_rr- Several years ago I heard on the news where an older man robbed a bank and waited near the entrance for the cops so they could arrest him. His response was he couldn’t live with his wife anymore and couldn’t afford to leave.
@@robertlewis3116 haha ! Well, that's one way to do it !
Thank you. This is definitely what I have observed from my married buddies.
Quite of bit of these caveats apply to even non-marital relationshits... er... relationships.
It's absolutely NO wonder why men are eschewing marriage, lol.
Glad it was helpful!
No, did it twice, never again, lost too much money
Even when we’re the first choice, this still happens. They change.
I’ve heard that from other guys too. It does seem that modern women are looking for something outside of themselves to help them feel happy. Not realizing that happiness is something they can create. I blame Facebook.
Great stuff, John. Do a video about how they always come back, and what to do, as I’m sure yours did. I’d be interested to hear how you handled it when it eventually happened.
Yeah, she did come back. In fact, just a few months ago she asked me if I would take her back again. I told her no. I’m fine being friends with her because our kids need to live in a world where their parents can get along. But there’s no way on earth I would ever bring her back into, a trusted relationship again. She will always be at arms length. Although she is really hot. 😎
We’ve traveled a lot of the same road. You do a great job of articulating it all. Had I heard these lessons at 19, I sure would have done a few things different. Thank you for your channel.
Glad it was helpful! Thanks
John your speaking style is calming and agreeable to me. I wish I could be so levelheaded. Thanks
Thanks, I really appreciate that
100% accurate. 10 years, 2 kids, now divorced, had to fight for 50/50 even though I’m the one who does the majority of caregiving and carry the financial end, so she can go out and pursue her boss life. DOA
Well, she wouldn’t want anyone to think. She’s a bad mom. She doesn’t really give a damn about having partial custody of the kids. She just doesn’t like the way it appears to others. Very familiar with that aspect of women’s psych.
A dog is a man’s best friend!
👍👍
Thank you , exactly right , every word , your genius.
Helps me realize that I’m not as bad as she makes me feel that I am!!!
Bless you my friend, love your videos. !
I heard that the federal government matches dollar for dollar the amount of a family court judges retirement based on how much child support they decide to make a man pay. There is no incentive at any level to promote the unity of Marriage- divorce and child support is a big revenue stream for the legal system.
recently sub'd.. as a single man (59, single 13 years) involved in a relationship I am sure about, you are reminding me of things that I have forgotten.
Thank you!
I think you just have to be really careful about entering into a marriage contract. When you’re dating, it’s like walking a tightrope. Everyone has to be extremely careful or the relationship will come crashing down. When you’re married, it’s like you suddenly have guard rails to hold onto and the chances of falling or almost 0. That makes it really easy to act stupid and say and do things that you would never do if you were just dating. I think women take us for granted once were married. I think women realize that they have leverage in the contract. So I would just be really cautious about entering into any marriages.
I was recently dating a woman who had a cat. She was homeless and crashing at a friend's place temporarily so her cat was living with me. Her cat is a long-hair exotic and left huge amounts of fur all over my house and also used my bed headboard as a scratching post and destroyed it. I didn't care, I love animals and don't mind cat or dog hair and I don't mind if a cat destroys my furniture, I purposely have crappy furniture because prefer having pets around than luxury furniture. She overstayed her welcome at her friends and stayed with me for a few weeks. During that time, she made tons of complaints about my 15 year old dog who doesn't have bladder control anymore and made several comments that it was time to put him down.
Happily, I am no longer seeing her, but I do miss that cat.
Women had their goose that laid golden eggs. Their greed and selfishness killed it.
That’s actually a really good analogy
My neighbor always dumps his grass clippings in the green dumpster in the service alley. I'm out there a lot myself either dumping my grass clippings or dumping the dog poop. We both have a lot to talk about and always look forward to meeting in the alley. Then you hear DON, DON and he yells IM COMING. Then he says to me I gotta go the boss is calling. Hès a very likeable guy and she is a bitch, no other way to describe her. I always think to myself how TF can he stand her.
Another great vid John, you really know how to hit the nails on the head.
21 years of practice!
@rcas350pilot8 His thirst overrides his dignity. I cannot stand men’s sheepish displays of servitude like this - because I feel it has destroyed our society. Women, with few exceptions, simply CANNOT lead. Leadership is about serving others. They will never even consider this.
One of those "gotta ask the boss, happy wife happy life, my better half" NPCs who drank all the famine-ist kool aid. This is the reality for most males who are zombified on the plantation.
Never again. Being single at 55 is something I value greatly. Being brainwashed into the wife, house, kids deprived me of exploring my true self. Tied to jobs just to pay bills and buy sofas etc 😂 Think long and hard about risk v’s reward gentlemen.
Well said!
😏 shiiiiii it nice to be able to go to Pattaya on a dimes notice, see ya! 😎