I’ve literally listened to just about every video on narcissist (from all the experts) but nobody humanizes the experience quite like you do! Thank youu for sharing your success story! It gives me hope in this painful marriage
I remember after I left my mother, I had a year of detox- could not shower, could not do laundry and generally acted like a crazy person. I could not control it, I was like a junky in rehab, only dealers can get charged for their offenses, but the psycho mom never does.
23 years deep in this muck. My “husband” never hoovered either. Too much effort for him, I think, plus he isn’t even able to fake love. I have a few reasons for staying, so far, but on top of those it doesn’t help I have only two friends in other states and no family.
I don’t even like to think about that time I went through. Now his next wife is really struggling, still determined to leave but she’s feeling horrendous guilt because he’s being wonderful as he knows she’s been thinking of leaving. She asked me how I got through this part so I told her the person she fell in love with doesn’t exist, as soon as you accept that you can grieve for the person you thought they were
This is so true. Thank you. Blessing. I wish I will find someone that will show me what love really is and treat me with respect. I lift 2 time and on the 3rd time I didn't came back it so hard 36 years it not easy. The older you are the harder it get to meet a normal men being 56 year old. Nora this video you did gave me alot good information, because I can't stop missing him.
Tjis really answered why I find it so hard to leave and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack from the anxiety this man gives me, but I feel so afraid to leave and just didn’t know why😞😔thank you for this video please keep doing Tjis it really helps ppl like myself understand especially when ur in it like me😔
In actuality, they really abandoned us the minute the abuse began. We feel guilty for leaving, but the leaving was a decision they already made a long time ago. Something that helps me cope: buy a small camera on Amazon and always record them (without telling them of course), even if it just records voices. It will come in handy or at least make you feel validated. I listen to things afterward and it's so much easier to figure out their tactics. I also record when he is with my son, so I talk to my son later on about anything that needs to be addressed. Sharing the recordings will work against you, so don't do that, but keep them for leverage later if needed. They will do anything to not be exposed. Obviously make sure you're safe before ever mentioning that you have recordings.
I was watching your earlier videos and saw this more recent one today. I wonder if you have ever noticed the change in your face from then to now. Your eyes are clearer and your smile is genuine. It lights up your face. Three years out and I still wake up every morning and tell myself I made it, I am free. Someone told me recently that I am always smiling. I know why I can't stop smiling these days. I hope you see that in yourself, too. High five from a far! Lol
You have helped me so much! I am 18 months out and I am thriving and moved up in my career and finding me again. Bless you and I appreciate you! Listen each morning on my way to work!
It's not about trauma bonding for me he stripped my truck for parts so that I can't leave him, I have no job, no money and nowhere to go so I know when I leave I will be living in my truck with my dog until I can get it together and even as old as I am I would rather do that than live with him.
Because we met just after new years, the most love-bomby thing I experienced was Valentines Day. So 1st VDay, dating a month, a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, a stuffed adipose baby (both Dr Who fans), and a table at ballet performance which had more roses, more chocolates, and wine. None and no other occasions have gotten so much fanfare the 6 years since. But if I undershoot his birthday vs his unexpressed expectation, boy, do I hear about that.
Nora, I also like when you do video of person that give you there experience and you tell us about it, hope you do more of those videos. Thank you for caring about us. Blessing.
What you say about the trauma bond is true. We miss the ideal them. After 22 years I always wanted my "love bomb" partner back but I never got her. I got crumbs of her. Now when I think she is love bombing her new supply I know that she thinks she's finally found herself all over again, just like she did with me. It's all fresh, new and exciting. She loves the rush. She loves the adoration / attention and thinks the grass is greener. Eventually I know she will get bored because I know her. He thinks all his Christmas' have come at once (he is a lonely 61 year old and she is 51).
Everytime I say I ll leave he doesn't do anything to hoover me back. It s me who goes back, I start feeling so anxious and sad, that I step back. It happened more than 30 times. It s a loop.
Pray for strength! You are stronger than you think and you don’t need him. Your resilience and belief in yourself will get you through. You deserve MORE!
I feel so happy when things are going well with my husband but then it gets bad again and im wondering if hes a narcissist. Really if he is or isnt doesnt matter. He gets so mean and attacks me in arguments. I asked him or told him his brother should get an apartment and said hes manipulating him(he is living in our driveway and makes as much money as my husband..but he doesn't wanna rent and utilities i guess. Anyways that was enough to set him off. besides he started being rude to me infront of his brother for no reason. He ended up flickin stuff in my face putting his finger up saying FU. I thought things would get better..if only...i will let him do or say what be wants if i just stay cool. There seems to be no hope in our marriage...hes more loyal to his brother..i feel like the enemy.
He obviously has no respect for you speaking and acting that way. I'm sorry to hear this. We all need boundaries and after what I've been through I now have them and won't allow anyone to cross them. Sending you hugs and strength.
after 40 years ....i recently moved 200 miles away.
i love him so much. i feel heartsick. and you know,
its sad to realize that i am at peace.
if only i could get counseling but we are not divorcing and all my
doctor insurance applies in another state. my new independence
is fragile.
@@juliefroman5635 are you doing better?
I’ve literally listened to just about every video on narcissist (from all the experts) but nobody humanizes the experience quite like you do! Thank youu for sharing your success story! It gives me hope in this painful marriage
I remember after I left my mother, I had a year of detox- could not shower, could not do laundry and generally acted like a crazy person. I could not control it, I was like a junky in rehab, only dealers can get charged for their offenses, but the psycho mom never does.
23 years deep in this muck. My “husband” never hoovered either. Too much effort for him, I think, plus he isn’t even able to fake love. I have a few reasons for staying, so far, but on top of those it doesn’t help I have only two friends in other states and no family.
My heart goes out to you, may God keep giving you the strength and Jesus name Amen🙏
Same here
I don’t even like to think about that time I went through. Now his next wife is really struggling, still determined to leave but she’s feeling horrendous guilt because he’s being wonderful as he knows she’s been thinking of leaving. She asked me how I got through this part so I told her the person she fell in love with doesn’t exist, as soon as you accept that you can grieve for the person you thought they were
That’s extremely sound advice! You’re a good person for guiding her through this💖
One of the hardest things I have to keep remembering is that the persons I fell in love with wasnt real.
This is so true. Thank you. Blessing. I wish I will find someone that will show me what love really is and treat me with respect. I lift 2 time and on the 3rd time I didn't came back it so hard 36 years it not easy. The older you are the harder it get to meet a normal men being 56 year old. Nora this video you did gave me alot good information, because I can't stop missing him.
Tjis really answered why I find it so hard to leave and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack from the anxiety this man gives me, but I feel so afraid to leave and just didn’t know why😞😔thank you for this video please keep doing Tjis it really helps ppl like myself understand especially when ur in it like me😔
Sending you hugs, healing and strength! 💖
In actuality, they really abandoned us the minute the abuse began. We feel guilty for leaving, but the leaving was a decision they already made a long time ago. Something that helps me cope: buy a small camera on Amazon and always record them (without telling them of course), even if it just records voices. It will come in handy or at least make you feel validated. I listen to things afterward and it's so much easier to figure out their tactics. I also record when he is with my son, so I talk to my son later on about anything that needs to be addressed. Sharing the recordings will work against you, so don't do that, but keep them for leverage later if needed. They will do anything to not be exposed. Obviously make sure you're safe before ever mentioning that you have recordings.
Omg, That’s what I’m going through Right Now. It is so Sooooooo Hard. HELP.
Lots of good food, vitamin store, long walks and calming music. Try the calm radio app. You just need to weather the storm. Lots if aromatherapy too.
Thank you for sharing this!!!
I was watching your earlier videos and saw this more recent one today. I wonder if you have ever noticed the change in your face from then to now. Your eyes are clearer and your smile is genuine. It lights up your face. Three years out and I still wake up every morning and tell myself I made it, I am free. Someone told me recently that I am always smiling. I know why I can't stop smiling these days. I hope you see that in yourself, too. High five from a far! Lol
You have helped me so much! I am 18 months out and I am thriving and moved up in my career and finding me again. Bless you and I appreciate you! Listen each morning on my way to work!
It's not about trauma bonding for me he stripped my truck for parts so that I can't leave him, I have no job, no money and nowhere to go so I know when I leave I will be living in my truck with my dog until I can get it together and even as old as I am I would rather do that than live with him.
I don't blame you! You and your dog will find peace. In the peace, a plan for your life will come together.
I am doing through this now!😢💔so true!
Because we met just after new years, the most love-bomby thing I experienced was Valentines Day. So 1st VDay, dating a month, a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, a stuffed adipose baby (both Dr Who fans), and a table at ballet performance which had more roses, more chocolates, and wine.
None and no other occasions have gotten so much fanfare the 6 years since. But if I undershoot his birthday vs his unexpressed expectation, boy, do I hear about that.
It IS trauma bond, for sure. You need to live it to truly understand it.
Wow I just watched your video from 7 years ago and look at u now. Wow lady you look beautiful and vibrant❤
Very reassuring thank you lovey lady xxxx
Nora, I also like when you do video of person that give you there experience and you tell us about it, hope you do more of those videos. Thank you for caring about us. Blessing.
It's hard to get therapy if you can't afford it or it's just not available to you so like me you have to deal with it alone
Neither was I, never been love-bombed by him. This thing kept me.for some time thinking he was not really a narcissist.
We pick apart their behaviors, looking for excuses to forgive them because we’re empathetic people. They know it and thrive on that. It’s sad
What you say about the trauma bond is true. We miss the ideal them. After 22 years I always wanted my "love bomb" partner back but I never got her. I got crumbs of her. Now when I think she is love bombing her new supply I know that she thinks she's finally found herself all over again, just like she did with me. It's all fresh, new and exciting. She loves the rush. She loves the adoration / attention and thinks the grass is greener. Eventually I know she will get bored because I know her. He thinks all his Christmas' have come at once (he is a lonely 61 year old and she is 51).
You’re right, they bore easily and that’s when the honeymoon is over!
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Thank you so much for this video. This was exactly how I experienced it!
Everytime I say I ll leave he doesn't do anything to hoover me back. It s me who goes back, I start feeling so anxious and sad, that I step back. It happened more than 30 times. It s a loop.
Pray for strength! You are stronger than you think and you don’t need him. Your resilience and belief in yourself will get you through. You deserve MORE!
I wasn't love bombed either
I’m guessing we didn’t miss much😉
It took me ten years to leave!!
I understand 🤍
I feel so happy when things are going well with my husband but then it gets bad again and im wondering if hes a narcissist. Really if he is or isnt doesnt matter. He gets so mean and attacks me in arguments. I asked him or told him his brother should get an apartment and said hes manipulating him(he is living in our driveway and makes as much money as my husband..but he doesn't wanna rent and utilities i guess. Anyways that was enough to set him off. besides he started being rude to me infront of his brother for no reason. He ended up flickin stuff in my face putting his finger up saying FU. I thought things would get better..if only...i will let him do or say what be wants if i just stay cool. There seems to be no hope in our marriage...hes more loyal to his brother..i feel like the enemy.
He obviously has no respect for you speaking and acting that way. I'm sorry to hear this. We all need boundaries and after what I've been through I now have them and won't allow anyone to cross them. Sending you hugs and strength.
You are a beautiful woman.
This is my relationship with my soon to be ex!