#6 Discounting my own value, #8 Downplaying my own Successes, and almost all the others. Except for #13. I keep a lot of the promises I make to myself. Thanks for the video really hit home.
Have a hard time making decisions. I don’t respect my own needs and wants. I discount my own value. I beat myself up. I downplay my successes. I over think what the right thing to say, to do, and to be. I replay the things I’ve said or another person said..I try to control everything around me. I’m really hard on myself. I break promises to myself. I believe in other peoples opinions more than my own.
Having to control others 😔 - I love your channel, Julia! 🥰 such great insight....I realize I don’t trust myself, because I didn’t leave my abusive marriage when I should have...but I didn’t realize that me being controlling in my new, beautiful relationship was because I didn’t trust myself to take care of ME...so I needed to make sure my wonderful man did a perfect job of taking care of ME...that was so eye opening when you said that...I need to learn to trust that even if all the world abandons me, I will not abandon myself....thank you so much for this! 😇
The increase in self-love has given me many things: 1. I am able to love others even when they don't deserve it. 2.I have an increased ability to forgive others. 3. I am naturally a better person. 4. I am not hurt as much by what others think of me. 5. I am more adventurous. 6. I think I look good. I don't have to look like a model to be attractive. 7. I am able to forgive myself for mistakes and move on.
Things that break self trust: 1)decision paralysis-> don’t trust how we will treat ourselves if we make the wrong decision 2)Don’t acknowledge our own wants or needs-> shows up as people pleasing, codependence not respecting our wants and needs, fusion 3)don’t let process emotions 4)second guessing->because we aren’t sure how well treat ourselves, because we don’t trust that we won’t catch ourselves instead of kick ourselves when we’re down. 5)don’t believe in your inherent worth 6)discount own value 7) beat yourself up for your mistakes 8) downplay successes 9)
8)overthink what the right thing is to do->afraid of your own reaction if it goes poorly 9)overly ruminating 10)try too much to control your environment 11)really hard on yourself ->we are scared to be ourselves 12)no problem breaking promises to ourselves 13)pass off decisions to other people 14)you believe that others peoples onionion of you is more important than your own Take the time to believe who we are, knowing who we are
The hard truth and what hit me the most is that I believe what others opinion about me more than I believe in myself. It made my head spin bc that’s exactly what I have done most of my life and that not fair to me. I have try to work thru the crap ppl said about me and making myself more worthy to be loved. However ppl are hard to please. I’ve given up at times thinking is not goi g to get better and I have to focus on myself. I have to work on trusting myself more!
You cannot have good self-esteem without self trust. If there is no trust, it’s hard to have a healthy relationship. Signs you don’t trust yourself : 1. Have a hard time making decisions. 2. You don’t acknowledge your own wants and needs. 3. You don’t let yourself process your feelings. 4. You second guess yourself often. 5. You don’t believe in your inherent worth. 6. You discount your own value. 7. You beat yourself up for your mistakes. 8. You downplay your success. 9. You often overthink what the right thing is to do. 10. You overly ruminate what you said or did. 11. You try too much to control your environment. 12. You’re really hard on yourself( shoulds). 13. You have no problem breaking promises to yourself. 14. You pass off decisions to other people most of the time. 15. You believe that other people’s opinion of you is more important than your own.
As an instructional assistant at a community college, my very first day, I had to explain to someone that they deserve to be in the classroom. "I don't know why your father said those things to you (lack intelligence) but you are here, you're doing it, so you are worthy. Whatever reason he said that, it's his problem, not yours."
For me, it is certainly the value I place on other people’s opinion on me more than the value I place on myself. Even those who hardly know me and who are quick to judge on the basis of practically nothing. It’s a killer for me. I am slowly getting better at recognising it and trying to question my feelings around this.
I want to trust myself without deceiving myself. I really fear self deception knowing I'm my own worst enemy. I really like this video and find it very helpful. Thank you Julia K.
I super love this video, taught me a lot! These are the things that resonated to me most: 1. Hard time making decisions 2. No problem breaking promises for yourself 3. Pass off decisions to others Will need to work on trusting myself more. Thank you so much for this, very helpful!
This is really nice to hear. I actually have trust in myself! There are definitely some moments where I question myself but I believe this is normal. It doesn’t meant that I don’t trust myself. Something that really helped me is to stop looking for external validation and started becoming my own healer / validator. It’s been a long journey but I have come so far and I’m very proud of myself. I want those to know that are on this journey that it isn’t just one straight road, it’s very back and forth! Don’t beat yourself up over it. Progress is not linear.
this is exactly what i've realized lately.. it really is the center of all self confidence and self love, so i started slowly working on it. thanks for this video!
I watched this with full knowledge that I need to build some self trust, and the first 14 hit like a sledgehammer, but the last one, about believing external opinions over my own about my life, hit like a bomb. I also had not realized that my attempts to build self-esteem and self-confidence needed a foundation of self trust, so I have some things to work on, written on my wall
I have all 15 points..I really struggle to trust myself. Love to pass on decisions to others. But the fact that you said "what if I am still not to blame, even if I made the wrong decision" is such an eye opener for me. Because I would usually blame and beat myself up.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, love thyself, trust thyself. Holding back from opening your mouth is self-trust as you are building patience, tolerance & wisdom. Your self-compassion is growing & your cup is so full this compassion spills over to the person (people) who is hurting so much while their mouth is spewing obscenities. Dampen your senses a moment, calm your ears, eyes, brain to pass judgment as you know there are vast possibilities of the outcome. Your compassion will then give you an inner vision of this person's suffering & soon you see their reaction from their point of view. We all struggle and we are all perfectly imperfect. Hafiz said, "I am made whole by your life. Each soul, each soul completes me." Welcome all the thoughts & emotions of your life as well as those of others and watch your Love & Light carry you in Peace & Calmness (Rumi).
I am feeling like I am going through this shift right now. There are many things that have happened recently and I noticed I am trying to get through it like I usually do but it's more survival mode. Just push through it and do action. I am definitely having a hard time processing my emotions. I never really did this before and although you get through the mess at the time, it's starting to surface in ways such as anger, indecisiveness, brain fog, not living in the moment. Im trying to change and so glad I came upon this video... I needed to hear this
I have every single one of the signs that I don't trust myself. In fact, I knew beforehand that I don't trust myself at all. This behavior has kept me stuck in life since my early teens. I am always doubting my decisions, my future goals, and now I have two beautiful girls that deserve some one with a healthy mind to help them build character to overcome the unexpected events of life or to just simply be 100 percent them. I have been working hard on not being so hard on me, on giving my self positive self talk and since I been doing this I have noticed how much I have been putting myself down throught the years (20 years of self hate and mistrust) thank you for your great videos. 😘
Hello Ana, I have had a very similar experience growing up. Give gratitude to yours and “The Universe” that you have discovered this and admitted it to yourself - because that’s hard and most people don’t - Set about expanding your awareness of times your don’t trust yourself and “have some humour with yourself” if you catch yourself not trusting and then forgive yourself and move on. The Ancient Hawaii Prayer Ho’oponopono is Fantastic for Self-Forgiveness. Dr Joe Vitale has a great 7.5 minute video explaining it. - I hope that helps. I feel excited anticipation for your new journey of self- trust/ love/ worthiness and forgiveness. Take care. X💪🏽😃💫🌈
@@paula-elizabeth I watched the video you suggested and while at first didn't make any sense now I get what is trying to say. I think the message is, look inside and heal from the inside. I will practice the prayer starting today. Thank you.
Hello everyone, I am here because I've realized that for most of my life - or from when I can first remember 11-12 I started to feel like I wasn't enough and would be desperate to change my exterior bc I did not know how else to make change especially at that age. I began to be a follower instead of just liking what I like and being curious, I was a critical child and even once I was told I was pessimistic (jokingly called Miss Pessimistic) by a teacher. I always wonder where and why is this rooted in me but I can't recall a specific time where something traumatizing or daunting happened. All I know is, I have been anxious even as a little one, my 5th teacher wrote to me "everything will be fine, stay calm and keep moving forward". It is now that I see how much work I need to do, and I have somewhat begun but I know that it isn't consistent or even intentional sometimes. What I know is that I feel emotionally tired/drained and I would like for one second to stop thinking about me but my task at hand or what I am learning, and really soak that information in. For the most part I feel like I am alive but not living and I feel like I hear but don't listen because these thoughts consume me. Thank you.
Most of these I could resonate with --- what I found most helpful was to realize (from your talk), that the way to healing these is when life goes awry (not if, but when b/c it always does) then it is up to me to treat myself with the same kindness, respect, and understanding that I would a good friend. The distrust comes & even builds when I continue to criticize / beat myself up when life doesn't go as I had planned. My self trust will increase as I accept the situation without the accompanying voices in my head that tell me I am not good enough, a failure, etc Perhaps if I can stop the critical thoughts, the self trust will build.
Yes to this Nancy. Watching those thoughts and working on being kind and compassionate toward ourselves instead of critical is huge. We're doing a 14 day challenge on exactly this right now in The Shift Society and people are having breakthroughs just by not letting themselves be mean to themselves.
I have a very uneven habit of trusting myself because it largely depends on the situation I’m in! For example, with school-related things, I generally know I’ll be fine. I hope you’re having a great day ❤️
@@juliakristinamah I want to start by being more independent and also learn to better forgive others and not have such high expectations of those around me! Another area regarding self-trust I know I need to do better in involves trying certain things rather than making excuses about why it won’t turn out well
All three : self - esteem, confidence and self - trust come from a positive sense of identity -they are reflections of how well we were nurtured as children. Not meeting child's needs for attachment, relational safety and basic physical well -being leads to complex trauma - we end up having a shame based, negative sense of identity which requires continuous reparenting. We need self -love, self -care and relational support to heal and that will restore self - trust.
Thank you so much for bringing me clarity and understanding on the fact that I do not have self-trust and that I need it for myself. I resonate so much with Brene Brown, and I resonate so much with you. Working on my self-worth has been a constant struggle and its the ultimate means to an end for me. Thank you so much, this is helping me in ways that I thought never possible.
Many of these points I have always just put down to a life long lack of confidence. I have never thought of it in terms of self trust. This could change the way I look at many situations. Thank you for this, I appreciate you putting it out there for us.
Ruminating and obsessing about my past mistakes, being hard on myself,beating up myself for past mistakes ,feeling stuck thinking what people are gonna say or think,yeah julia that's me
It was really difficult for me to explain what I was feeling and after watching this video I can completely understand myself better I can completely relate to this. Thank you so much after watching this i have more clarity. Wauw I'm finally able to believe what I am and how to improve myself. Thank you so much 🌹
Wow!! I have listened to several of your videos now. Everyone and every word is so potent for me. At 58, I sit realizing I have very few skills under my belt like boundaries and self trust etc. I’ve been a wreck for years and feel worn down and depleted. I am very grateful to have found your so well expressed information. I have a lot of work to do. I am worth it!! Thank you so much for every word you speak!!
Thanks Julia. I find very helpful your videos. I love them. And i feel very gratefull you put the subtitles for the people who English is our second language. Thanks so much!! 🤗
Hi Julia, all of these signs resonates. Some more than others, yet I am seeing from this how I had started to grow-up, lol, with the help of insights like yours, and other authors, teachers and counselling. ❤
It's great to have this list and understand the meaning for myself and for my loved ones. I can beat myself up for mistakes, ruminate on past actions, and break promises to myself. Recenctly I noticed that I'm more inclinced to get out of bed quickly when I have to do something for others. When I am going to do something for myself (yoga, errands, make a smoothie), I usually stay in bed longer before getting up.
All of these really hit home for me -it’s amazing how we show up for others but not ourselves. I’m definitely working on it though. I needed to hear this -thank you so much for bringing this out. I am really thinking about getting on the waitlist for the shift society. This is the time that I have got to work on me and love myself and put me first.
I'd love to have you in there Lynn. I wish I could explain how transformational The Shift Society is and how incredible the support from the other Shifters is - I know you'd love it.
@@juliakristinamah -I will put my email on the waiting list -Thank you for responding to me and thank you for your amazing content -it really does help me understand things better. 😊
Thank you julia kristina. Self Educational experience, for me. You install many good things , in me. You make me come to terms with myself. You make me a better person. Slowly it gets to me. While listening to you, i adopt your instructions, emulating it in my mind. Even just for the duration of this film, it feels good, it feels right. You make me feel better. You are the best thing that happened to me, on youtube. You are guiding me. It is a miracle, because it is very hard to get to me. No one gets to me. Your smile.
Almost all of the seigns I recognised, oh dear. Ik need to work on this since I am in a divorce right now and I will be together with myself in the future. So thank you Julia Kristina.
Which of these connected with me? Every single one. I learned something important. And I deserve better. Thank you for this video. It was very enlightening. I want to trust myself. I want to learn how to trust myself.
Listening to you makes me realise how far I've come because some of the things you mentioned were things I used to do but I've learned to trust myself more and more. The one thing that I do is think over and over conversations saying I said something wrong and even with articulating myself. I've always stood up for myself and I always stand up for what I believe in. And the one thing that does not bother me so much is people's opinions of me, sometimes it can get to me but most times I'm like whatever they're not me, they have no idea who I really am and people will always have something to say.
Julia, you have helped me so much in the past 3 months. Been learning to set boundaries, love myself, heal, let go of relationships that are not good for me; and will eventually learn to trust men again... Thank you for your heart, and your videos. They help me so much. God bless you!
Been binge watching your videos all day...they calm me down. Almost all of the points I could relate to in this one. Thank you so much for the content and I always look forward to when you post here or on Instagram. ❤️❤️
This is so good. I have had major issues trusting myself because I have a Narcissistic mother who gaslight me in childhood & caused me to mistrust myself and everyone. I’m going to work on this. I’ve learned about inner child work, my codependency and anxious attachment style. This is so important to educate people about this. Thank you! 💕
Every single point. As if you were directly describing me. I’m so bad, though, that I can’t even begin to figure out what small steps I could take to get on the right road…
Hello Julia, I used to not trust myself and I’m moving past this. Thank-you, your video really helped me see how far I’ve come and where I need more awareness. X👍🏽💫😃🌟🌈X
Wow Julia this video fits me to a T! everything you talked about is what I struggle with every day, I have learned some tools to use when I see myself reverting back to old unhealthy thinking, but when you've spent your whole life pretty much stuck in that crap, it's still a challenge for me to overcome. Your such a big help Julia, you bring things up just when I need to hear them thank you.
the decision making one was true for me. You said right when I was acting indecisively regarding a decision regarding my tea (explaining the choice would take too long). I noticed that the reason I wasn't making a particular choice - let's call it "Option A" instead of "Option B" - was because I thought that just because I think "A" is the choice to make doesn't mean that is the correct choice to make. I asked myself "for what reason do I think that?", and I found my answer to be "because I don't always make the choice that is correct/useful". But then I challenged that. And I came to realize that, since survival is the aim anyway - survival for us as a whole, including me as well as others - , that since I've made it this far and not died (and also not caused the destruction of the whole community of living things), that many choices I've made so far must've been the correct choice to make. So then the statement must be false; and what must instead be true is "I very often make the correct/useful choice"; and so "because I think Option A is the choice to make, it is very likely (if not certain in this case) that it truly is the choice to make". And so I did what I've labelled Option A. In other words, whatever thoughts we may think whilst we are acting in a way that is a sign of not trusting ourselves - challenging those thoughts can help. Oh and I appreciate the efforts you put in making this video. I've not finished it yet but I love it so far - I know I'll love it all ✌🏽
Dear Kristina, eye-opener! One can take the 15 signs as a start... But yesterday to me it happened with a Lady... I can't continue with cause of these signs... Yes, I trust myself and everytime things happening in which selfreflection brings me back to my own worthy trusting myself.. You notice the other signs quicker at others... And.... Always have your few friends to reflect on on.
Hi Julia, I’m a subscriber from England. Just to say that I’m so pleased I found your channel. It makes all the difference to me and so helps me get through the tough times. Thank you so much.
What i took from this is that if my boundaries are being threatened, i will politely decline and say no to whatever it is with the intention of understanding that getting the other person to dislike me works better in my favor. ⛲
Julia, you are singing my life theme song, I don’t trust myself at all and it shows up EVERYWHERE! I am intentionally working on these, wow , I do all of these.
Hi from a new subscriber 👋 I'm a 23 yo woman and I'm so so broken. My parents divorced when I was 10. My dad emotionally hurt my mom and I so much. I've lived my childhood swimming in a pool of lies, manipulation, cheating, emotional abuse. He also compared me to every girl and I was never enough. And now, I'm living a never-ending torture. I'm with an incredible man for 3 years now. But I don't trust him. I can't trust him. Like, 'he's gonna find someone better'. Everytime he talks to a girl, my head says 'He's preferring her'. I am conscious that I'm on a looooong journey. I'm slowly standing up by myself. But that's so damn hard.
I can literally relate to all 15 of these...yikes! This video was very eye opening to me. For the longest time I tried to control other people’s perceptions of me through perfectionism because I was scared of their judgments and opinions but I was actually more scared of how I would treat myself when those people did have negative opinions of me. Deep down I knew that I would kick myself and go into a shame spiral. I did not trust that i could catch myself. Now that I have made that connection I choose to catch myself no matter the outcome.
Christ Julia You hit every nail on the head, That really opened my mind to it, Bang on every point, It cost me dearly not really knowing this. I'm going g to digest this slowly Thank You.
Julia, I want to thank you 🙏 You have done so much for me. I wish schools would help out young children with self love, setting healthy boundaries and how to deal with trauma. It’s sad to see so many people with mental health issues... unfortunately ,there isn’t enough professional help provided or supported by our system. I’m astonished
What resonated with me was I don’t know how to process my feelings so I am living in constant fear of not trusting myself as I was brought up to believe I couldn’t do anything right so how can I possibly be any good when this is my core belief. Also that has made me feel I am not important because that’s how my parents (especially my mother) made me feel . so I’m scared of my feelings and myself and therefore afraid to admit I have needs or what those needs are just in case I can’t meet them .
I Found this so eye-opening. I constantly replay over and over things I’ve said, written, or done. Drives me crazy. Thank you for helping me figure out what’s going on. Actually, I think I do all of them. So I have a lot of work to do. 🙁😳🙄
This is something I struggle with as I was taught growing up that I was responsible for other people by whay I said and how I acted was a reflection on other people.
Getting help has been incredibly difficult and this video gave me so much to be cognizant of that I can use with future therapy going forward. Very very very helpful.
I'm overwhelmed. I identify with that entire list...and I don't know which one to start working on first. Too many choices for me to POSSIBLY make the RIGHT choice...which one should I choose?? haha!
I love your advice!! Just watching this made me realize the solution to a problem I prayed about for so long!If I'd been confident my choice of what to do, I wouldn't have kept second guessing it. Thanks for your input! :)
❤- you are wonderful . I wish I had a million dollars to help fund you. You are amazing at getting thru the tough stuff and helping your clients gain their “WHOLE SELF “ 1. I don’t process my feeling I people please I can’t make decisions. I used to be good at all of these things until I was in an abusive relationship. Now , I am still trying to gain “ self trust” even years later .
I’m 29 . I discover that all my life I being depressed and not believing in muself. I want si much to feel good , it’s feel alone and I’m isolating myself . I wanna don’t talk to anyone but everyday I keep my energy to talk and share with other people but the thing is I don’t want . I feel that nobody undertsand me . The thing with other decide even go to a fast food is me . Now I have goals and I’m scare . I wanna do things.
What connected with you from our talk on self-trust?
#6 Discounting my own value, #8 Downplaying my own Successes, and almost all the others. Except for #13. I keep a lot of the promises I make to myself. Thanks for the video really hit home.
@@jdfirewalker really glad it helped, and glad you're here.
Have a hard time making decisions. I don’t respect my own needs and wants. I discount my own value. I beat myself up. I downplay my successes. I over think what the right thing to say, to do, and to be. I replay the things I’ve said or another person said..I try to control everything around me. I’m really hard on myself. I break promises to myself. I believe in other peoples opinions more than my own.
I bought your Building self trust work book and I have blogged about how great it is
Having to control others 😔 - I love your channel, Julia! 🥰 such great insight....I realize I don’t trust myself, because I didn’t leave my abusive marriage when I should have...but I didn’t realize that me being controlling in my new, beautiful relationship was because I didn’t trust myself to take care of ME...so I needed to make sure my wonderful man did a perfect job of taking care of ME...that was so eye opening when you said that...I need to learn to trust that even if all the world abandons me, I will not abandon myself....thank you so much for this! 😇
The increase in self-love has given me many things:
1. I am able to love others even when they don't deserve it.
2.I have an increased ability to forgive others.
3. I am naturally a better person.
4. I am not hurt as much by what others think of me.
5. I am more adventurous.
6. I think I look good. I don't have to look like a model to be attractive.
7. I am able to forgive myself for mistakes and move on.
This is beautiful an 100% truth.
👍🏽👏🏽👏🏽💫
I’m so glad to be hearing from you. I need this.
That is so cool. I hope I can say something similar about my progress one day. Inspiring! 👍🏼
Why do you want to love the undeserving?
Things that break self trust:
1)decision paralysis-> don’t trust how we will treat ourselves if we make the wrong decision
2)Don’t acknowledge our own wants or needs-> shows up as people pleasing, codependence not respecting our wants and needs, fusion
3)don’t let process emotions
4)second guessing->because we aren’t sure how well treat ourselves, because we don’t trust that we won’t catch ourselves instead of kick ourselves when we’re down.
5)don’t believe in your inherent worth
6)discount own value
7) beat yourself up for your mistakes
8) downplay successes
9)
8)overthink what the right thing is to do->afraid of your own reaction if it goes poorly
9)overly ruminating
10)try too much to control your environment
11)really hard on yourself ->we are scared to be ourselves
12)no problem breaking promises to ourselves
13)pass off decisions to other people
14)you believe that others peoples onionion of you is more important than your own
Take the time to believe who we are, knowing who we are
The hard truth and what hit me the most is that I believe what others opinion about me more than I believe in myself. It made my head spin bc that’s exactly what I have done most of my life and that not fair to me. I have try to work thru the crap ppl said about me and making myself more worthy to be loved. However ppl are hard to please. I’ve given up at times thinking is not goi g to get better and I have to focus on myself. I have to work on trusting myself more!
here to support you along the way.
You cannot have good self-esteem without self trust.
If there is no trust, it’s hard to have a healthy relationship.
Signs you don’t trust yourself :
1. Have a hard time making decisions.
2. You don’t acknowledge your own wants and needs.
3. You don’t let yourself process your feelings.
4. You second guess yourself often.
5. You don’t believe in your inherent worth.
6. You discount your own value.
7. You beat yourself up for your mistakes.
8. You downplay your success.
9. You often overthink what the right thing is to do.
10. You overly ruminate what you said or did.
11. You try too much to control your environment.
12. You’re really hard on yourself( shoulds).
13. You have no problem breaking promises to yourself.
14. You pass off decisions to other people most of the time.
15. You believe that other people’s opinion of you is more important than your own.
Thanks! Was looking for the list.
Would clicked right passed it if I hadn't pressed 'click more'.
As an instructional assistant at a community college, my very first day, I had to explain to someone that they deserve to be in the classroom. "I don't know why your father said those things to you (lack intelligence) but you are here, you're doing it, so you are worthy. Whatever reason he said that, it's his problem, not yours."
It breaks my heart that i can relate to all of these. I don't trust myself. Especially the ones about over analyzing everything i write, or message.
Same here.
Permission from others for our own decision making....
For me, it is certainly the value I place on other people’s opinion on me more than the value I place on myself. Even those who hardly know me and who are quick to judge on the basis of practically nothing. It’s a killer for me. I am slowly getting better at recognising it and trying to question my feelings around this.
This is great Aditi - keep it up!
I am beginning to Trust myself more and more each day💖 in my family life, my career and my personal goals‼️
Yes!! Standing up and cheering. GOOD for you.
Gratitude 🖤💜✨
I want to trust myself without deceiving myself. I really fear self deception knowing I'm my own worst enemy. I really like this video and find it very helpful. Thank you Julia K.
Time to be your own best friend Jerr. You deserve that from you.
How to get over fear?
I super love this video, taught me a lot! These are the things that resonated to me most:
1. Hard time making decisions
2. No problem breaking promises for yourself
3. Pass off decisions to others
Will need to work on trusting myself more. Thank you so much for this, very helpful!
Unfortunately, I can relate to all of these. Thank you for bringing this to my attention! 🙂
Glad it helped bring some insight Michelle.
Same here
This is really nice to hear. I actually have trust in myself! There are definitely some moments where I question myself but I believe this is normal. It doesn’t meant that I don’t trust myself. Something that really helped me is to stop looking for external validation and started becoming my own healer / validator. It’s been a long journey but I have come so far and I’m very proud of myself. I want those to know that are on this journey that it isn’t just one straight road, it’s very back and forth! Don’t beat yourself up over it. Progress is not linear.
Amen, and good for you!
I been on this journey too long damnit
this is exactly what i've realized lately.. it really is the center of all self confidence and self love, so i started slowly working on it. thanks for this video!
Absolutely. I'm really glad it connected.
I feel intense fear that stops me from taking action and I miss the opportunity.
I watched this with full knowledge that I need to build some self trust, and the first 14 hit like a sledgehammer, but the last one, about believing external opinions over my own about my life, hit like a bomb. I also had not realized that my attempts to build self-esteem and self-confidence needed a foundation of self trust, so I have some things to work on, written on my wall
I have all 15 points..I really struggle to trust myself. Love to pass on decisions to others. But the fact that you said "what if I am still not to blame, even if I made the wrong decision" is such an eye opener for me. Because I would usually blame and beat myself up.
Preach Julia!!!! I felt like you were speaking directly to me!! Pure gold here! Thank you Julia! You are truly changing the world! 🌎 we 💗 you!
Rita, you are so kind. I truly do love you all too, and I'm so glad this connected.
Thank you, Kingdom Blessings 03/08/23
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, love thyself, trust thyself. Holding back from opening your mouth is self-trust as you are building patience, tolerance & wisdom. Your self-compassion is growing & your cup is so full this compassion spills over to the person (people) who is hurting so much while their mouth is spewing obscenities. Dampen your senses a moment, calm your ears, eyes, brain to pass judgment as you know there are vast possibilities of the outcome. Your compassion will then give you an inner vision of this person's suffering & soon you see their reaction from their point of view. We all struggle and we are all perfectly imperfect. Hafiz said, "I am made whole by your life. Each soul, each soul completes me." Welcome all the thoughts & emotions of your life as well as those of others and watch your Love & Light carry you in Peace & Calmness (Rumi).
I am feeling like I am going through this shift right now. There are many things that have happened recently and I noticed I am trying to get through it like I usually do but it's more survival mode. Just push through it and do action. I am definitely having a hard time processing my emotions. I never really did this before and although you get through the mess at the time, it's starting to surface in ways such as anger, indecisiveness, brain fog, not living in the moment. Im trying to change and so glad I came upon this video... I needed to hear this
I have every single one of the signs that I don't trust myself. In fact, I knew beforehand that I don't trust myself at all. This behavior has kept me stuck in life since my early teens. I am always doubting my decisions, my future goals, and now I have two beautiful girls that deserve some one with a healthy mind to help them build character to overcome the unexpected events of life or to just simply be 100 percent them. I have been working hard on not being so hard on me, on giving my self positive self talk and since I been doing this I have noticed how much I have been putting myself down throught the years (20 years of self hate and mistrust) thank you for your great videos. 😘
Hello Ana, I have had a very similar experience growing up.
Give gratitude to yours and “The Universe” that you have discovered this and admitted it to yourself - because that’s hard and most people don’t - Set about expanding your awareness of times your don’t trust yourself and “have some humour with yourself” if you catch yourself not trusting and then forgive yourself and move on. The Ancient Hawaii Prayer Ho’oponopono is Fantastic for Self-Forgiveness. Dr Joe Vitale has a great 7.5 minute video explaining it. - I hope that helps. I feel excited anticipation for your new journey of self- trust/ love/ worthiness and forgiveness. Take care. X💪🏽😃💫🌈
@@paula-elizabeth I watched the video you suggested and while at first didn't make any sense now I get what is trying to say. I think the message is, look inside and heal from the inside. I will practice the prayer starting today. Thank you.
@@anaml3879 Absolutely Ana! - Now is your time to Shine! 💫😃🌟
I am working on not controlling others, and not seeking approval in my decision making. Trusting my own choices is huge for me!
Hello everyone, I am here because I've realized that for most of my life - or from when I can first remember 11-12 I started to feel like I wasn't enough and would be desperate to change my exterior bc I did not know how else to make change especially at that age. I began to be a follower instead of just liking what I like and being curious, I was a critical child and even once I was told I was pessimistic (jokingly called Miss Pessimistic) by a teacher. I always wonder where and why is this rooted in me but I can't recall a specific time where something traumatizing or daunting happened. All I know is, I have been anxious even as a little one, my 5th teacher wrote to me "everything will be fine, stay calm and keep moving forward". It is now that I see how much work I need to do, and I have somewhat begun but I know that it isn't consistent or even intentional sometimes. What I know is that I feel emotionally tired/drained and I would like for one second to stop thinking about me but my task at hand or what I am learning, and really soak that information in. For the most part I feel like I am alive but not living and I feel like I hear but don't listen because these thoughts consume me. Thank you.
Most of these I could resonate with --- what I found most helpful was to realize (from your talk), that the way to healing these is when life goes awry (not if, but when b/c it always does) then it is up to me to treat myself with the same kindness, respect, and understanding that I would a good friend. The distrust comes & even builds when I continue to criticize / beat myself up when life doesn't go as I had planned. My self trust will increase as I accept the situation without the accompanying voices in my head that tell me I am not good enough, a failure, etc Perhaps if I can stop the critical thoughts, the self trust will build.
Yes to this Nancy. Watching those thoughts and working on being kind and compassionate toward ourselves instead of critical is huge. We're doing a 14 day challenge on exactly this right now in The Shift Society and people are having breakthroughs just by not letting themselves be mean to themselves.
I have a very uneven habit of trusting myself because it largely depends on the situation I’m in! For example, with school-related things, I generally know I’ll be fine. I hope you’re having a great day ❤️
Where do you want to build your self-trust?
@@juliakristinamah I want to start by being more independent and also learn to better forgive others and not have such high expectations of those around me! Another area regarding self-trust I know I need to do better in involves trying certain things rather than making excuses about why it won’t turn out well
Indecisiveness being stuck in a loop to protect myself from pain of the outside and learn to process my feelings.
Thank you Julia!
All three : self - esteem, confidence and self - trust come from a positive sense of identity -they are reflections of how well we were nurtured as children. Not meeting child's needs for attachment, relational safety and basic physical well -being leads to complex trauma - we end up having a shame based, negative sense of identity which requires continuous reparenting. We need self -love, self -care and relational support to heal and that will restore self - trust.
Thank you so much for bringing me clarity and understanding on the fact that I do not have self-trust and that I need it for myself. I resonate so much with Brene Brown, and I resonate so much with you.
Working on my self-worth has been a constant struggle and its the ultimate means to an end for me. Thank you so much, this is helping me in ways that I thought never possible.
good for YOU for showing up for yourself. That's everything.
Many of these points I have always just put down to a life long lack of confidence. I have never thought of it in terms of self trust. This could change the way I look at many situations. Thank you for this, I appreciate you putting it out there for us.
Ruminating and obsessing about my past mistakes, being hard on myself,beating up myself for past mistakes ,feeling stuck thinking what people are gonna say or think,yeah julia that's me
It was really difficult for me to explain what I was feeling and after watching this video I can completely understand myself better I can completely relate to this. Thank you so much after watching this i have more clarity. Wauw I'm finally able to believe what I am and how to improve myself. Thank you so much 🌹
Hello Joti, that’s Fantastic! - Well Done! 👍🏽✅✨
Really glad to hear it.
All of them except devaluation which isn't good but the rest them shows a lack of trust in myself. Thanks for the download 😊
Wow!! I have listened to several of your videos now. Everyone and every word is so potent for me. At 58, I sit realizing I have very few skills under my belt like boundaries and self trust etc. I’ve been a wreck for years and feel worn down and depleted. I am very grateful to have found your so well expressed information. I have a lot of work to do. I am worth it!! Thank you so much for every word you speak!!
Self Trust is one I really need to work on
Thx, 3rd vid. and yer style draws out my need for restatement of truths you unveil so simply and solidly.
Thanks Julia. I find very helpful your videos. I love them. And i feel very gratefull you put the subtitles for the people who English is our second language. Thanks so much!! 🤗
Hi Julia, all of these signs resonates. Some more than others, yet I am seeing from this how I had started to grow-up, lol, with the help of insights like yours, and other authors, teachers and counselling. ❤
It's great to have this list and understand the meaning for myself and for my loved ones. I can beat myself up for mistakes, ruminate on past actions, and break promises to myself. Recenctly I noticed that I'm more inclinced to get out of bed quickly when I have to do something for others. When I am going to do something for myself (yoga, errands, make a smoothie), I usually stay in bed longer before getting up.
All of these really hit home for me -it’s amazing how we show up for others but not ourselves. I’m definitely working on it though. I needed to hear this -thank you so much for bringing this out. I am really thinking about getting on the waitlist for the shift society. This is the time that I have got to work on me and love myself and put me first.
I'd love to have you in there Lynn. I wish I could explain how transformational The Shift Society is and how incredible the support from the other Shifters is - I know you'd love it.
@@juliakristinamah -I will put my email on the waiting list -Thank you for responding to me and thank you for your amazing content -it really does help me understand things better. 😊
Yup. Downplaying successes is a BIG one. Definitely guilty of this more often than I would like.
Time to appreciate you more, you think?
@@juliakristinamah Yes. Needed this today. Thanks for the encouragement. :)
Thank you julia kristina.
Self Educational experience, for me.
You install many good things , in me.
You make me come to terms with myself.
You make me a better person. Slowly it gets to me.
While listening to you, i adopt your instructions, emulating it in my mind. Even just for the duration of this film, it feels good, it feels right.
You make me feel better.
You are the best thing that happened to me, on youtube.
You are guiding me.
It is a miracle, because it is very hard to get to me. No one gets to me.
Your smile.
I totally resonate with this!! The “perfectionist theme song” really called me out 😅
im on a journey of self love after years of deep depression and you've been helping lots, thank you!
Hi I love your stuff. Been a pastor for 27 years. Learning so much from you about myself and others. Thanks
Thank you, Julia. It opens up my eyes to how much I REALLY TRUST MYSELF.
Dang Dr julia Christina thank you for your videos its a blessing.
Almost all of the seigns I recognised, oh dear. Ik need to work on this since I am in a divorce right now and I will be together with myself in the future. So thank you Julia Kristina.
Really glad you found it helpful Fairy.
Which of these connected with me? Every single one. I learned something important. And I deserve better. Thank you for this video. It was very enlightening. I want to trust myself. I want to learn how to trust myself.
Glad it connected. Here's to your healthier, more loving relationship with you ❤️
Listening to you makes me realise how far I've come because some of the things you mentioned were things I used to do but I've learned to trust myself more and more. The one thing that I do is think over and over conversations saying I said something wrong and even with articulating myself. I've always stood up for myself and I always stand up for what I believe in. And the one thing that does not bother me so much is people's opinions of me, sometimes it can get to me but most times I'm like whatever they're not me, they have no idea who I really am and people will always have something to say.
Just the video I needed, also congrats on 200k!!
Thanks for noticing Anna!
Julia, you have helped me so much in the past 3 months. Been learning to set boundaries, love myself, heal, let go of relationships that are not good for me; and will eventually learn to trust men again... Thank you for your heart, and your videos. They help me so much. God bless you!
Been binge watching your videos all day...they calm me down. Almost all of the points I could relate to in this one. Thank you so much for the content and I always look forward to when you post here or on Instagram. ❤️❤️
Great to connect with you - thanks for watching.
This is so good. I have had major issues trusting myself because I have a Narcissistic mother who gaslight me in childhood & caused me to mistrust myself and everyone. I’m going to work on this. I’ve learned about inner child work, my codependency and anxious attachment style. This is so important to educate people about this.
Thank you! 💕
I love it when you find a life changing channel on UA-cam 🙏
This is excellent - particularly the trouble with decision making!
Every single point. As if you were directly describing me. I’m so bad, though, that I can’t even begin to figure out what small steps I could take to get on the right road…
I meet every single one of these. Holy crow! Thank you for this. 💞
I didn't realize that I was afraid of how I would treat myself if my decisions didn't turn out. So I keep waiting for a sure sign. Thankyou for this !
Hello Julia, I used to not trust myself and I’m moving past this. Thank-you, your video really helped me see how far I’ve come and where I need more awareness. X👍🏽💫😃🌟🌈X
Really glad it connected - happy you're here.
This is Mischa Bakaleinikoff and I Luv myself and for sure Trust my self!
It's not me, I 💕 l liked!
Wow Julia this video fits me to a T! everything you talked about is what I struggle with every day, I have learned some tools to use when I see myself reverting back to old unhealthy thinking, but when you've spent your whole life pretty much stuck in that crap, it's still a challenge for me to overcome. Your such a big help Julia, you bring things up just when I need to hear them thank you.
the decision making one was true for me. You said right when I was acting indecisively regarding a decision regarding my tea (explaining the choice would take too long). I noticed that the reason I wasn't making a particular choice - let's call it "Option A" instead of "Option B" - was because I thought that just because I think "A" is the choice to make doesn't mean that is the correct choice to make. I asked myself "for what reason do I think that?", and I found my answer to be "because I don't always make the choice that is correct/useful". But then I challenged that. And I came to realize that, since survival is the aim anyway - survival for us as a whole, including me as well as others - , that since I've made it this far and not died (and also not caused the destruction of the whole community of living things), that many choices I've made so far must've been the correct choice to make. So then the statement must be false; and what must instead be true is "I very often make the correct/useful choice"; and so "because I think Option A is the choice to make, it is very likely (if not certain in this case) that it truly is the choice to make". And so I did what I've labelled Option A.
In other words, whatever thoughts we may think whilst we are acting in a way that is a sign of not trusting ourselves - challenging those thoughts can help.
Oh and I appreciate the efforts you put in making this video. I've not finished it yet but I love it so far - I know I'll love it all ✌🏽
Great insights.
Very helpful, thanks.
Dear Kristina, eye-opener! One can take the 15 signs as a start... But yesterday to me it happened with a Lady... I can't continue with cause of these signs... Yes, I trust myself and everytime things happening in which selfreflection brings me back to my own worthy trusting myself..
You notice the other signs quicker at others... And.... Always have your few friends to reflect on on.
Hi Julia, I’m a subscriber from England. Just to say that I’m so pleased I found your channel. It makes all the difference to me and so helps me get through the tough times. Thank you so much.
Hey Rob - welcome here.
What i took from this is that if my boundaries are being threatened, i will politely decline and say no to whatever it is with the intention of understanding that getting the other person to dislike me works better in my favor. ⛲
Julia, you are singing my life theme song, I don’t trust myself at all and it shows up EVERYWHERE! I am intentionally working on these, wow , I do all of these.
Hi from a new subscriber 👋
I'm a 23 yo woman and I'm so so broken.
My parents divorced when I was 10. My dad emotionally hurt my mom and I so much.
I've lived my childhood swimming in a pool of lies, manipulation, cheating, emotional abuse.
He also compared me to every girl and I was never enough.
And now, I'm living a never-ending torture. I'm with an incredible man for 3 years now. But I don't trust him. I can't trust him.
Like, 'he's gonna find someone better'. Everytime he talks to a girl, my head says 'He's preferring her'.
I am conscious that I'm on a looooong journey. I'm slowly standing up by myself. But that's so damn hard.
I can literally relate to all 15 of these...yikes! This video was very eye opening to me. For the longest time I tried to control other people’s perceptions of me through perfectionism because I was scared of their judgments and opinions but I was actually more scared of how I would treat myself when those people did have negative opinions of me. Deep down I knew that I would kick myself and go into a shame spiral. I did not trust that i could catch myself. Now that I have made that connection I choose to catch myself no matter the outcome.
I am learning to Live and Trust Myself helpful advice.
Great for you!
Christ Julia You hit every nail on the head, That really opened my mind to it, Bang on every point, It cost me dearly not really knowing this. I'm going g to digest this slowly Thank You.
Take your time. I"m glad it connected.
Wow. This is a real eye-opener
Hi I’m Kelly and so glad you popped up! I need this type of help ♥️
Thank you soooo much.
There isn't so much content about Self-trust
Will be watching this one a few times!
Julia, I want to thank you 🙏 You have done so much for me. I wish schools would help out young children with self love, setting healthy boundaries and how to deal with trauma. It’s sad to see so many people with mental health issues... unfortunately ,there isn’t enough professional help provided or supported by our system. I’m astonished
What resonated with me was I don’t know how to process my feelings so I am living in constant fear of not trusting myself as I was brought up to believe I couldn’t do anything right so how can I possibly be any good when this is my core belief. Also that has made me feel I am not important because that’s how my parents (especially my mother) made me feel . so I’m scared of my feelings and myself and therefore afraid to admit I have needs or what those needs are just in case I can’t meet them .
Hi Christina. This is Shak. Your usual listener. Love your work. Its growing on me
I Found this so eye-opening. I constantly replay over and over things I’ve said, written, or done. Drives me crazy. Thank you for helping me figure out what’s going on. Actually, I think I do all of them. So I have a lot of work to do. 🙁😳🙄
Your videos are so good! I loved your ego video's as well!
This is something I struggle with as I was taught growing up that I was responsible for other people by whay I said and how I acted was a reflection on other people.
For sure I identify with all 15 of these
Practically all of them. It is difficult facing and addressing them.
I hear you Hitesh. Be gentle with yourself, okay?
Getting help has been incredibly difficult and this video gave me so much to be cognizant of that I can use with future therapy going forward. Very very very helpful.
Julia, your videos have been really helpful in my journey to discovering myself.
Good for you for doing the work Tom. That's a big deal.
I can relate with evry word here......thanks alot mam....
These thoughts are my theme song esp at work creating soo much anxiety, esp being so hard on my self. I’m scared at work.
Just about all of them i need to work on. Thank you so much.
I'm overwhelmed. I identify with that entire list...and I don't know which one to start working on first. Too many choices for me to POSSIBLY make the RIGHT choice...which one should I choose?? haha!
I love your advice!! Just watching this made me realize the solution to a problem I prayed about for so long!If I'd been confident my choice of what to do, I wouldn't have kept second guessing it. Thanks for your input! :)
So glad it connected Odessa.
I need this so bad I swear I need this .
❤- you are wonderful . I wish I had a million dollars to help fund you. You are amazing at getting thru the tough stuff and helping your clients gain their “WHOLE SELF “ 1. I don’t process my feeling
I people please
I can’t make decisions.
I used to be good at all of these things until I was in an abusive relationship. Now , I am still trying to gain “ self trust” even years later .
Almost all of these are true and it's very nice to know this. It helps me realize. Ty so much 🙂
Really glad it was helpful.
It would be helpful to have a follow up of how to work on these same 15 signs.
Here's the guide that will show you exactly how to do that: courses.juliakristina.com/self-trust
Oh my.. i so much identified with a lot of this.
I am mervat. Thank you. I really count on you searching my self trust
I’m 29 . I discover that all my life I being depressed and not believing in muself. I want si much to feel good , it’s feel alone and I’m isolating myself . I wanna don’t talk to anyone but everyday I keep my energy to talk and share with other people but the thing is I don’t want .
I feel that nobody undertsand me . The thing with other decide even go to a fast food is me .
Now I have goals and I’m scare . I wanna do things.
Thank you, Wow all of them applly
Michael