The Difference Between The Ego Self and Your True Self
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- Опубліковано 15 гру 2020
- It's hard to always know if we are acting out of ego or out of our true self. But it's important we learn the difference because when we act out of ego, we never feel truly satisfied because the ego seeks from the outside to overcompensate for a lack on the inside - which, it can never truly do. Watch this video here on my channel @Julia Kristina Counselling a few times and really take it in, and learning how to act out of your true self vs. your ego self will transform how you feel everyday.
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#egoself #trueself #falseself
Hey you all, what was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk on Ego Self vs. True Self?
It's interesting that I think I knew all this pretty well, which improved my life so much over the last few years. But yesterday night I was processing a painful event of the day and for a few hours my ego prevailed and it was a firework of negative thoughts. I couldn't sleep so I looked at my phone and found your video, which reminded me of the right way to direct my thoughts and actions. So helpful, thank you!
So, my takeaway is that, once again, we can build and strengthen new synapses but the old ones are still there, a bit weakened but still there. So, we cannot stop working on ourselves!
Recalling different scenarios I can separate the P's from the C's in them.
The C's feel more comfortable while the P's Promote anxiety & stress!
So many times I think we operate on autopilot so this will help me in taking a step back to feel where I'm coming from.
That authenticity is hard to do when your self belief/confidence is shot
My True Self was with me when I was born & then the Ego took over. Thank you this reminded me of the true self hidden behind the shield. Vulnerable
How to identify ego ? 1. What can I prove ? 2. Am I trying to avoid feeling ? 3. Who do I try to please ? 4. What am I trying to create ? The four seeds for authenticity: 1) motivation: what to contribute, 2) how to connect and 3) what to cultivate in this life. I began to plant these seeds before I know this. Working as a university lecturer gives me a great platform to be the authentic self.
“Because we’re trying to protect ourselves from the reality of being imperfect.” THIS WAS NEEDED. It’s ok to not be perfect, no one is, and that’s ok.
Sh*t why we are all trying to be perfect
YES! Growth mindset.
Amen! Love this :)
In the Spirit, our eternal True Eternal Divine Presence we are perfect! When we identify as the temporal finite ego character we will suffer.. Our imperfect ego character we can find compassion and understanding for its ignorance, both mine & others.. learning to align our thoughts and feeling with our Higher Self🙏
@@flexsormusic6721
Because of shitty parents or shitty society standards etc
Ego is the shield from vulnerability but the antidote to authenticity. Such quality content 👌🏽
You put it so eloquently here
So Verry true !
Thankyou this was very helpful.
Yesss deff but the ego will be vulnerable when it okays the victim, but it's still about what's in it for me as opposed to surrendering to the Divine- how can I serve🙏
True and sad. The strength of the shield can be astounding.
Ego 4 Ps
Prove, protect, perfect, please
Authenticity 4 Cs
Create, contribute, connect, cultivate
Ego
1. What can I prove
2. What can I protect
3. What can I perfect
4. Who can I please
Authenticity
1. What can I create
2. What can I contribute
3. How can I connect
4. What can I cultivate
I always feel like i'm not interesting enough and that I never fit in enough so I'm always trying to connect with other people's emotions by pleasing them and even by victimising myself sometimes...
Thanks this video really helps ❤ its amazing how much better I feel when I stop trying and when I tell myself I'm enough. Suddenly I don't feel the need of having this one person that it's going to make me feel ok with myself always, I can do it myself, and that way I'm a much better friend
This threw me for a loop when you said that people pleasing is about ego. I always viewed my people pleasing as coming simply from wanting to be accepted but...it makes perfect sense. When I am people pleasing I am not being who I really am. Thanks 😊
I feel dumb not even knowing about or understanding ego and I am almost 40 years old. I was bringing negativity into my relationship and I didn't even realize it was my ego. Since looking into this, I have learned that it's ok to be flawed and not perfect. I don't need to have all the answers and that I will be loved for who I am. I realized my ego was preventing me from admitting I was wrong by trying to explain myself for being wrong or not knowing something. It seemed innocent enough but it is an act of lying and dishonesty. Being wrong or not knowing something is OK.
Also, I realized my ego was causing me to be more defensive than I needed to be. This was because my ego was telling me that I had a right to be defensive and I didn't take into account what I may have done or if my expectations for the situation were wrong or if I was interpreting the situation incorrectly. Also, my ego was not living in the present but in the past or the future and acting out of past experiences and of fear of future unknown outcomes. When I realized that my feelings and my ego were connected, a lightbulb came on.
I have lots to work on but being new to the concept of ego, it is causing me to look at things so much differently. I vow to be more present and live in the present. And to be mindful of being myself, my true self, and to check my ego and try to put it away. For I do not need to be scared of expressing my feelings or showing my true self, my partner loves me for me. She is a wonderful human and I wish I had known all this sooner. She has opened my eyes to be my better self.
I appreciate videos like these to help me to be a better me. Thank you!
This is why I have trouble communicating wish someone I’m in a relationship with because I’m afraid of rejection
Word it’s like I’m trying to say all the ryt words no words 😶 come out 🤦🏿♂️
Same.
2 minutes in and you’ve already explained the ego that makes sense! This is why our instinct is to protect and avoid pain…it’s the ego self👏🏼
I am feeling so happy to be back. Set in my intention to breakthrough and be my best self🙏🏽🌱
EGO:
What can I prove ?
What can I protect ?
What can I perfect ?
Who can I please?
Authenticity:
What can I create ?
What can I contribute ?
How can I connect ?
What can I cultivate ?
Thank you so much 💚💚💚
Thank you 👍
Thanks appreciated.
Hi I'm Brian.. I've just very recently become aware of what a huge problem ego has been my whole life.. it is my goal to be my true self and to represent my true self.
I battle with my ego a lot , just to stay humble and balanced , great lesson !!! awesome channel !!!!!!
Really well explained. As you say we all have an ego, the trick is to become aware when it comes into play. Then the difficult part is learning how to deal or respond to a situation in an adult mature balanced way.
This is the most practical contents about the ego vs intuition. So helpful. Thanks a lot Julia!!
I am in the process of mentally beating my ego to death. Your ego will ALWAYS find ways of sabotaging your desires, and to try to tell you you're not good enough or not worthy, because it doesn't want to give you permission to take risks that go along with inner growth.
This is a DAMN GOOD video!
I see you doing the work, John - and just a reminder that there's no need to beat up the ego - just notice and observe it and then make a conscious choice that is authenticity-based instead.
Yessss!! Some people call the ego the inner child. When I talk to my inner child in a loving and compassionate way instead of a critical way, it changes everything!! It makes me feel lighter and more optimistic! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Thank you Julia Kristina!!! This is a very good video!!!! I hope you and your family have safe and happy holidays!!!🎄🎁❤️
Often I do not realise that my ego is overriding me . I sometimes mistake it for intuition. it's tricky to know where is this coming from. I have to start checking my inner voice and finding out if it is preventing me from authentic decisions. Tks 🙏
Ego finds ways to sabotage your desires? NO its your ego that desires those things in the first place, all your desires stem from ego, even the seemingly 'good' desires are done in order for temporary pleasure for your ego which keeps you away from your real self.
"try to tell you're not worthy?" yes because your ego benefits from that too, your mind likes telling itself that it's not deserving or worthy to keep you distracted.
"inner growth" is another concept of your ego, you strengthen your ego by 'improving yourself' because you think you are a better version of yourself, until a crisis hits you and you react in the same old ways, if you don't then yeah you've actually stumbled upon something genuine.
This is one that has taken me so long to understand. I just turned 47 yesterday. My hope is my own children will learn this earlier than I have! It feels so exhausting when we are not genuine! Am I sensitive, do I cry more than maybe most? Yes! LOL That’s just me! Happy, sad, frustrated, when in pain and when I’m grateful! I cry! LOL I was ashamed of things like this because I felt so different. But my connection to my loved ones has deepened! They are more meaningful now that I’ve practiced what you’ve been teaching! I’m so very grateful for you and feel excited to keep breaking through and just love life! If we are made to have joy as I believe we all deserve this! You make perfect sense! Thank you! 🤗👍🏻❤️👏🏻👌🏻
Ohh my good lord. How did I only meet you today? Wish I could subscribe 10 times. Thanks so very much. I work with children and teenagers and I can promise you I will be using these 4 Ps and 4 Cs to motivate and empower my, community, young people and families as much as you have empowered me with your words. Thanks 😊
I was a people pleaser. The problem i had was when I stopped focusing on others as much, I felt more anxiety and thought people would notice the change in me and would think something was wrong. I felt better when I gradually phased it out to a point where I WANTED to do things for people rather than all the time. I personally have always had problems with what others think of me, its very tiring. I'm glad I became aware and am now watching a lot of these types of videos to learn about my authentic self. I'm desperate to live my genuine authentic self, at 37 years old I've got time to live my life over again and see the world and people through new eyes. Thank god for videos like these, I mean who else teaches us this stuff? That's a genuine question btw
I like the way you put this. Being a people pleaser, I guess I never thought of it as.... actually doing things for others because you are trying to please them vrs. genuinely WANTING to do things for others. I guess where you have to draw the line is....realizing if you are doing it out of pleasing or not. Right? People actually WONT notice the change that you are helping others more genially because thats actually....normal? The anxiety of people pleasing is all in your mind.
Totally relate and I’m 20 , you got this babe !!!
@@GirlKeepItReal what a beautiful thing to say, thankyou 💖
Hi I like the Holistic Psychologist, Gabor mate, and Patrick Teahan LICSW (all on UA-cam) for more psychological info, support, and help
Watch thewizardliz she will help you❤️
Getting curious has been big for me. I encourage anyone to do this. It’s a total shift in energy....
Thank you Julia,well said.a very simple explanation and well profound.its a great help for me.
Ego Challenges at 51 oldest son and seeking breaking Stuck Ego Expectency... Trying to protect yet prevents self... I Love It!
This is by far one of the best videos on this topic! Thank you for sharing Julia! I’m not sure if you have already, but if not, can you make a video about strategies to stay authentic in love when triggered? ❤
Your EGO is not your Amigo.
" I am not enough" ... a good Mom to my only son who lost his Daddy in 2012. My ego lashes out when he does not act in the way my ego expects! I am here for serious Counseling thank you for being here for me!
Alright, it’s been about two weeks since I first watched this video and it has had a very positive affect on my relationship. On a number of occasions, I’ve asked myself one of the “four c’s” questions. In the midst of a challenging moment with my husband, I did a quick “self check” to choose my behavior, either ego or authenticity. For example, I asked myself, “If I turn away now, isn’t that just a defense mechanism (ego)?” and “How can I truly connect with him right now, even though we’re both triggered?” I was thrilled to discover that I was able to use your four c’s with great results. I reframed the situation and was able to choose healthier behaviors. Thank you so much for this video.
This is such a beautiful testimony! I am soo proud of you as you should be of yourself! Huge step to take!❤
Julia Kristina canceling. Important and good advice video thanks for shareing
wonder if this means I'd been hanging onto relationships that no longer serve my true self, because of my ego overcompensating for lack of self-acceptance, love, and compassion. Of course, I had to ask myself a few questions, but how eye-opening!
I am 60 years old. I have been on a mental health journey. My upbringing was volatile. My father was a prominent figure in our small town. He was also an alcoholic. Kind by day, mean by night. This was eye opening to me. I realize so much of my life is spent trying to prove, protect, be perfect and please people. I am scared of moving forward because I realize I've operated out of ego for so so long. I will work hard to utilize the four "c's" what can I create what can I contribute, how can I connect and what can I cultivate. I don't need to prove anything. I need to let it go and bury my trauma. Thank you for an eye opener. I have much work to do.
Tanti auguri per il suo viaggio di scoperta. Sempre vento in poppa, buona vita, con amore dall'Italia❤
Many thanks friend. All the best to you and yours
This information was well presented. This world is mostly trauma based that leads to being ego driven for "self protection" clearly represented in the music being hailed today.Traits like being understanding and compassionate are going out the door,To truly learn and perform without engaging in a condrontational or aggressive behaviour one has to incorporate what was presentented here today. Very easy to digest and helpful. Thank you for sharing
So true. Great point
I have found that my ego is toxified (if that's a word), because I spent so much time, attention and energy trying to prove my worth to abusers in my life. I'd defend myself against their distorted image of me. I'm human, but because I grew up in a cult family system, raised by malignant narcissists . . . I had no sense of my inherent value, boundaries. So this unconscious repetition of unhealthy abusive relationships, work situations, you name it. I was afraid to let people down, or that I had to always be doing something. I'm in my late 30s, and I grieve over a lot - - mainly over abandoning myself. I know it wasn't my fault, but now I have to 'take the reins of self responsibility' and give my inner child who went unlove, unseen, abused ... the love he deserves. It's easy to type this, but not so easy, because of how deep rooted these traumas are.
Thank you so much for your content, you've got a way about you that I feel somehow safe with, and enjoy listening to you
Watching this video and listening to your words made me realize how far I‘ve come. I‘m so proud of myself 🥺 BUT it is so frustrating dealing with Ego driven people. Conversations are so meaningless, controversies so useless and lead to nowhere. I wished there were more awakened authentic people around. How much more beautiful and peaceful and calm this world would be! Imagine politicians being authentic and not Ego driven. Just think about it for a sec... Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and healing presented so calmly - and explained so clearly. I’m always taking something from it. I appreciate you 💙
I wonder if politicians were forced to walk in the building naked not just one but all of them if it would force them to think more authentically, and not be so embarrassed about even the little things of human beings, what are they protecting by wearing clothes? Scared to be judged.. what do they have to prove by taking a stance on why it should be this way and not that way. where if they just allowed it to be the way it is we would not need police running the streets always strung up with fear like frogs with firecrackers waiting to go off in their asses on enforcing laws onto people who they have the preconceived notion and manipulated thoughts into labels that they are “bad” unless you witness something that genuinely makes you feel bad then perhaps it is but it’s important to not follow the leader or the Hurd and take suggestions as absolute orders you must follow. And police are just one example of a fear based group infact gangs state they are afraid of the police but are afraid of being killed or enslaved, police are afraid of gangs for being raped (hehe) or killed, most people fear death and they allow that to dictate their actions rather than fearing suffering a miserable controlled life and letting their genuine self of love happiness and virtue shine through in even the most disillusioned fear based realities. You may try and change physical energy but if your energy is weak or low vibrational all things that are nice in this world will pick up on that and run somewhere else, it’s only when you align your faith and believes to yourself to guide you that sets you free in this world, live life in wonder and never had a depressed day, live life in sovereignty and let everyone rule your emotions and physical body.
I felt similarly to the way you did. I felt that I was surrounded by quite a few toxic people and I would try to pass on the valuable lessons on mindfulness that I'd learnt but still I felt at odds with them. Eventually I realised that I still had a lot to learn because despite becoming self aware and learning everything I could on personal growth, I was still allowing people into my life who were not emotionally healthy and could bring me down quite often and thus stunted my growth. In fact I could argue that my ego was still a negative presence in my life because I chose to hang out with these people and probably enjoyed feeling like I was above them (emotionally speaking) because I felt I had some authority over them. If anything it has made me think very carefully about my reasons for the things I do and the people I accept into my life, and to consider if I may have any ulterior motives.
Prove, protect, perfect and who can I please. So powerful
This is one of the parts of Freudian Psychoanalysis that I have always believed in
Hi My name is Mark and I am a Los Angeles based researcher on anxiety and depression and proponent of spiritual growth. I'm also a filmmaker and writer-director of the film 'American Anxiety: Inside the Hidden Epidemic of Anxiety and Depression.' Thank you for your great videos, Julia! I've subscribed and will be watching your whole series. Namaste!
So nicely put together and easy to remember on our own, thank you :)
proving, perfecting, protecting, and pleasing are all that I am made of. can't wait for your response!!
Found this because of Thomas Merton. Trying to search for the deep Self. In recovery from Addiction and a traumatic brain injury as a direct result. My true Self has been blotted out by my pasts guise of Booze and Use and coupled along side a TBI, I dont know who I am but getting a better idea each day at a time. Thank you so much for this!
The 4Ps work perfectly. I realized that my ego shows up invariably when somebody makes me wait. I am trying to protect myself from the feeling of unworthiness. This knowledge is changing my life. Thank you and keep up the good work!
I love the "4 P's" - that's super helpful!
Really glad that part helped it connect. Which one of the P's do you want to be more mindful of?
@@juliakristinamah proving is where my biggest challenge is!
@@helloinnerlight I hear you. That's a tough one.
This video is so good. One of the best I’ve ever heard.
YES NEEDED THIS THANK YOU
This has come at just the right time for me, thank you Julia😊
This was really profound and directly relates to something that I have been struggling with. I am going to listen to this many more times.
This is super helpful, thank you!
Hi am Danielle Realine . I would love to see positive perspective in life in different ways ❤
Addressed one of the questions I had. Thank you so much.
This is so helpful!
So fantastic! Thank you for these great Ps and Cs!
This really opened my eyes up so much thank you so much
I get so many aha moments when I listen to you! Thank you 🙏
I am always learning from you:) Thank you!!💖
I felt a weight lifted, thank you. 😊
This stuff is always so gosh darn Brilliant 👏
Thank you for the work you're doing and how you are contributing to the lives of others. I have benefitted a great deal from the shift society and a lot of the videos here on UA-cam.
I'm glad to be here! Thank you for this content!
True self is your true part... Ego is stuck up and all about oneself
You’re beautiful and your videos are extremely insightful and helpful! Thank you for sharing!
Fantastic content. I love how in-depth and practical your content is. This video reminded me that I really have to be self aware in situations where I need to analyze whether I'm reacting based on my ego or from my core beliefs as an individual.
Love what you do, its helped me get a better understanding of who I am and why I feel the way i do along with how to handle it
Thank you so much 💯
Thank you! This is beautiful and so helpful. I'm so very grateful for your contributions to our world.
I have spent several years engaged with Non-duality, no me, Wholeness, no thing, Oneness, as offered by Tony Parsons & many speakers along with a history in Indian spiritual/mystical teachings, who/am i? & 12 step Recovery work re a very bad childhood with shamebased parents, so your teachings & pointers about the Ego are both familiar & also refreshing. Nonduality says that every (apparent) thing is complete, perfect & nothing is missing so there is nothing to teach or learn & everything is simply HAPPENING, with no one or thing doing it. I have had dramatic, mystical/magical experiences that came & then quickly went away, leaving me, the Ego, just as miserable & frightened or offensive as before the "SHIFT" from a troubled 'me' to something free & vast. I often wanted a method or practice to hold on to the astonishing shifts I've experienced over all these years now, Life has led this character to you & I'm pretty sure it's no accident. I am currently consumed with your videos & may join the Shift Society to finally "get there" (that's a joke). Thank you...❤
Thank you! Would love more on this topic!! ❤
Thank you so much for this amazing video 💗
Intense!! Really intense. Made notes. Thanks, Julia!
Thank you so much!! This is just Divine Wisdom!!!
Thank you for this clear distinction between ego and true self.
This video was a major wake up call. Thank you so much. :)
I struggle with Fear and Worry so my ego usually acts in ways of Fearlessness to make me believe I'm Fearless
Thank you for being so vulnerable openly. This made my heart melt. All the best for you on your path to healing and being authentic and therefore being truly fearless 💙
@HUB GOBLIN You make a valid point but think of it this way, Fear Is something we learn, Nobody is born afraid of anything. For example Babies will crawl into a roaring fireplace if you let them because the don't comprehend fire is hot and dangerous, Babies don't fear because they don't understand the concept of fear yet. Children are afraid of the Boogeyman because they were told he is real and scary so for that reason they obtain that fear. Adults have fears to that stem from a variety of experiences they've encountered in life. So yes while no one is truly Fearless I guess it'd be more just trying to be brave and positive instead of while for example your standing on top of a mountain thinking what a nice view instead of I could fall to my death right now if something goes wrong.
Life-changing talk--thank you!
Gosh this is good. Looks like I am discovering myself. And thanks for the final reminder! Kind to yourself!
Great! Thank you so much!
Such quality content. Thank you!
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen. Thank you so much for this.
Great teacher ❤
I’m back to this video for the 2nd time and hopefully more in the future because it is really helping me with what I already believe! Thank you
Thank you so much 😊
This is such great content
Everyone! should listen to this
Thank you Julia
Fantastic video. Thank you .
Thankyou for the sef-check list.
Hi I m Tejaswini.. this is your first video that I m listening to... and it's great! Ego can also be seen as 'false self', as mentioned in "The Power of Now" and definitely it's opposed to the true self.. but identifying which is which in order to operate from authenticity is one of greatest challenges in life..
I m glad to have discovered Julia Kristina today, dec 19, 2020.. I m saying this even before finishing this video.. because I know her messages are great and delivery is clear, unambiguous!!
Thanks for this video. It is so clean and clear. It inspired me to change the mode of storytelling on my Instagram page. I had so many fears, because I started to create content out of my Ego. Now I want to start writing from my geniune self. Thanks for that
thank you !!! ❤ am in the middle of a messy separation and realising exactly how ego driven i am/ have been in my choices especially towards accepting that its ending.
Love this. Thankyou. A very clear and ‘clean’ way of describing the ego 💛😊
Watching this video and listening just to add I don't have a ego though but I am always questioning and trying to find and understand myself who I really am
Thank you
Thank you so much.
This is so good for me now I notice all my life I was a people pleaser. I hope I can cultivate and grow from this failure of my life.
That's it.. self trust? Thank you
Thank you very much, Julia for your brilliant explanation
Thanking you from the heart❤️
Thanks for your help.
Great video✨ Exactly what I was seeking to find. I am a better today than I was just 18 minutes ago. I owe it all to you. Gratitude🙏🏾
The ego attaches to things, beliefs, people thoughts etc. The self observes, it is free of attachment.
The ego has many opinions, the true self just is.
Meditation helps with this dissolving of ego and becoming present and none attached. It takes some time to get used to and ego will sneak back on a regular basis. The ego does not want to die so it fights on the way out. My "Dark Night of the Soul" lasted about six years as ego was being stripped away (and still is). It was my encounter with a Narcissist that catalyzed this.
Prove, Protect, Perfect, Please - if you unpack these you will notice attachment to a belief about yourself. One that was likely given to you when you were a child, it served you then to stay safe. For example we said "yes" to a parent so we could get love (or what passed for love) even if we did not agree with what the parent said or did. Ego is birthed in these moments.
I spoke to my friend last night that is enneagram 1 Perfectionistic. I mentioned to her the way out, that she is lovable even if she is not perfect. Embrace imperfection in yourself and others. We are all working on receiving of love including our own love and that is something (my) ego rejects as it is still attached to a false belief.
I could discuss this for many more paragraphs as it has been something I have been working on for several years now. Still trying to understand the golden shadow and allow it to find me.
This is awesome 😎 I will apply this for myself and with my clients. Thanks for sharing!
Impressive articulation.❤
Thank you
Great comparative breakdown! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the collective.✨
Thank you for your video, I took some good notes. I would like to introduce myself, my name is Bryce. I have bipolar disorder with mixed features anxiety and PTSD. I scour the internet for self help materials because I can't afford a therapist. I came across your video and subscribed to your channel. I find your content to be helpful and meaningful. Just know that I appreciate all that you do for the mental health community 🙂
This is the best video that explains the ego and how to recognize it !!
This is educational for me right now. I can see these traits in myself but also in my good friend of three years. I have had difficulty communicating with her for these past months and I just discovered her ego is hiding her true self. It has gotten to the point that I feel uncomfortable around her. I thought at first she was bullying me. Now I can see clearly what she is doing to me: trying to prove and protect herself by needing to be perfect, needing to be right in almost every topic we discuss. She is a retired NP, a few years younger than I. Today we were talking about the Olympic women’s gymnastics free exercise. I said the floor has springs under it vs a plain floor. She corrected me…you mean a matt. I feel like a light has gone on in my mind. Thank you for this in-depth lecture. Boy, do I feel better. I see the very traits I exhibit with my inflated ego. I can stop people-pleasing with this friend or others and safely be my authentic self which is getting more evident everyday. My question Julia is how do I communicate with her? Do I say she does not need to be perfect around me?
mindblowing👏👏👏👏 Truly needs such content. Thanks a lot 🙏
Very useful, thank you! I found this video the most useful on this subject. 👏🙏♥️