In my 56 years I have learned 3 immutable truths. 1) True love is much rarer than you think. 2) The vast majority of people will never find true love. 3) The person who cares the least in a relationship will always have the most power. Good luck.
"Women have boyfriends and they have girlfriends. If you're not sleeping with her, you're a girlfriend" -Rollo Tomassi. Truest statement I've ever heard on this topic.
@@cyre9188 Women are interested in attention, men are interested in intercourse If you put her into a friendzone, it means you become pure f-buddies, without the validation. The reverse of "emotional t-pon"
Or just a friend. It's only the friend zone if you're physically attracted to that person and you're only hoping to get together eventually. Just keep in mind friendship is a two way street girl or guy.
If she puts you in the friendzone, put her in the fuckzone. You'll only be friends if friends with benefits is an option. If not, get f*cked but don't come to me crying afterwards.
@@Cormac-jd2kx haha yeah, should said that after getting to know her, you'd prefer not to take it further, and drop her off without further explanation - she would go crazy LOL
Seriously tho. I’m 18 and know all of this. Ion know why all these videos of females have been coming up but I know all of this about females and I think it’s cus I’ve just fw so many of them. Just do your own thing and don’t chase or validate women. Definitely let them know you are interested in multiple women tho. You act like you don’t care and live in the moment, I promise you gon be stacking bodies.
It depends on your background. Personally i had no father, no brother, no uncle, and a very toxic mother who never stop repeating that men were the cause of his unhapinness. I am 45 now and 2 years ago, i was still a "Nice guy" . Why did my father abandon me? I am stronger now. 😁
Myles Frampton I feel that man, I just got out of a 6 year long relationship because I found out she was cheating. Literally dating another guy, not even just hooking up. They’re so weak.
This made me smile, Tnx for sharing. My man and I didn't work out. We were together for a long time, but it fell apart. I thought we'd grow old together, have kids... but now I'm left alone, wondering what I did wrong. The divorce was a long and difficult process. I had to move out of our home, leave behind all the memories we made together. It's hard to accept that it's really over.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds incredibly painful. I've seen friends go through similar situations, and it's never easy. You're strong for facing this, and I'm here for you. Actually, I know someone who might be able to offer some guidance and support. There's this spiritualist who's helped others navigate difficult times like this. You could set up a virtual session if you're interested.
Thats the thing: most will NOT say that up front, leading the guy to believe he still has a chance. When a woman gives NO RESPONSE to an offer to hang out/ hook up/ date/ have sex, its the same as a NO.
Ding ding ding, THAT is the only time you can believe it woman, when she outright says she is not interested. Even if she IS sleeping with you, she might still be using you.
@@Stierenkloot I went to a gym in Alaska one time. A drunk guy in the sauna offered me cocaine and anal reaming. I took the cocaine and left. He yelled at me.
In the Japanese culture, people NEVER say "I love you". It is such a strong phrase that it's one of those sentences reserved for a "last breath" scenario. Instead, they focus on actions. Even a small loving gesture is better than an ellaborate sentence.
Yep I think most of us have simped at least twice, but i think after the second time you wake up quicker, and recognise when they are manoeuvring to try & freindzone you & we walk away.
I was the first love of my gf. She gave me money and gifts. She cut her arm twice then she left all her friends and broke her phone. Before she did that she deleted all her social media and she cried blood for me. Although she did all that, she managed to cheat on me 5 times with 3 different guys 🤣. Don't believe women at all guys .
I am a woman and I 100% approve this message! He is exactly correct - PLEASE LISTEN TO HIM!!! Especially the part where he says that chasing after someone who doesn't want you will block you from having a relationship with someone who actually does want you. I have been blocked, so I've seen how that plays out first hand Last year I was deeply in love with a man. We started out as friends, he asked me out, I said yes. We were in a relationship, I was sleeping with him (the sex was amazing)... and yet he was in his head convinced that I wasn't serious about him because I wasn't asking him to do things for me 🙄 When you allow yourself to get played, your thinking becomes backwards Why did he think that way? Because his ex-gf from 5 years ago (who is now his "closest friend") was always asking him to do stuff for her. He would jump to her rescue anytime she needed something and she is a train wreck of a person so that was often. I told him a couple of times that I hated watching her manipulate him like that and he refused to acknowledge that's what was going on. After 2 months I ended up leaving that relationship because it was hurting me too much. He wasn't bonding with me because he was still so emotionally attached to her and they didn't have proper friend boundaries in place He could have had a beautiful, loving relationship with me but he chose to give his energy to a sexless pseudo relationship with her instead... at least until she finds someone to marry her and then she'll likely never speak to him again I am NOT one of the women who keeps orbiters and I never have been. I think that's a seriously gross way to behave. However, I know other women who are exactly as he describes and I watch men falling all over themselves doing all kinds of favors, giving them money, protecting them, running around town picking stuff up, fixing their house, etc... and I can never understand how these men don't see that they're just being used! If you're NOT in a committed relationship and you're doing things like that, they she is not interested in more and you are being used! Seriously, have some self respect! ...and then look for a woman who respects herself as well... because women with self respect don't act like emotional prostitutes for money or favors
That kind of situation is pretty unsettling, when there is a couple, one is an abuser, and the victim is mysteriously so into the person, they gladly allow it, or they think it's normal. Now, in that case it wasn't even a couple, which makes it even worse. Boggles the mind how this stuff happens, and those invloved just go along with it. Can you tell more about it?
@@jeansynklar386 that's a trauma bond. People with an internalised experience of distrust to having something good with another person will find themselves either as the abuser or abusee.
I'm sorry that your potential relationship was ruined by the ex. I haven't been an orbiter but I've still been a bit hung up on a girl for a while and I've started to wake up to the fact that I need to completely let it go. It's his loss, and he's gonna realize that one day. You sound like an amazing woman. Have a nice life 🤟
@@interdimensionalsteve8172 I mean I can show it to my GF and she would probably agree to most of what this guy says, but I certainly won't show it to guys who are emotionally hurt, especially if their heart is not in the right place. I agree it could reinforce negative bias, but this content is for guys who are already there, men who are of high value. I don't think guys like that would misinterpret these pieces of information. I know I wouldn't.
@@improbablepebble8549 lol if this was for men of high value there would be no market for it I'd guess his audience is 2% high value men .. and I'd guess you're not one of them
@@thenarrator1984 Maybe I'm not a high value man, but I guess what I really meant was this content is for men with an already good mindset; men who value personal growth. No hate tho. I wish you the best in life.
"There is a lot of low-value women out there who have to be avoided at all cost". WOW! Now that's a statement. I appreciate the frankness, so refreshing in this politically correct world of censorship. More of this please!
Even though I agree with his statement, I lowkey feel that a man has to be low-value to think he can friendship his way into a relationship or pussy. Women and men that have this phony "friendzone" relationship, are both low-value, IMO. The typical symbiotic, parasitic relationship.
In Every Religion it is advised that a Young man who wants to become something in life should stay away from women Cause Majority of the girls/women are not nice people for sure they will ruin u mentally, emotionally or ur career
Young men : Advice from an old guy, 68. Lust will destroy your spirit. Avoid it at all costs. The earlier you practice a stoic lifestyle, the better. Marry a plain looking women. And commit for eternity. Have children and love them correctly. Grow old talking about your kids and hobbies. Pass over to a high realm.
actually my father also said such a thing for women (well in his experience asian women, probably americans too since he moved here in his early twenties): women date and play around with hot guys (who also can do the same to women) for awhile while young, then eventually marry the “ugly” guy. hes not running off, no girl will entertain him. and so the woman who wants a family will have a stable man. realistically a plain jane can cheat very easily, everyone likes a plain jane bc theyre seemingly genuine bc “oh this girl cant sleep with anyone, look at her!” ik mean to say, but actually most men find average girls attractive bc they physically are and also that “girl next door” feeling…anyways yes its true a plain girl will cheat or otherwise less. pray you have the foresight to choose a nice girl and be a good man
It’s funny I’d be saying the exact opposite. Do your own thing, never settle. Don’t marry, don’t have kids unless you meet a perfect match for you until then keep your standards high as a man you can afford it.
You have to internalize that being an orbiter is a lost cause, and demeaning to you as a man, BEFORE you are put in a situation where a woman seduces you into becoming an orbiter. Alexander is performing a public service for men, here.
If you find yourself being an orbiter and you are in a situation where the attraction is one-sided, then you need to leave. If you like someone and want to make her first in your life and she already has someone else she likes better than keep her as a friend but move on with your search. She may also have a friend if you hang out with her or her friends you may connect with. Under no conditions should you allow yourself to get emotionally connected to someone you are not already exclusively dating. Good way to get burned.
In Every Religion it is advised that a Young man who wants to become something in life should stay away from women Cause Majority of the girls/women are not nice people for sure they will ruin u mentally, emotionally or ur career
🙋♀️ I am girl...but I am afraid that I must admit that a lot of women behave very bad with men.. they just like to have a guy's attention even when they are not interested on them. In my case if I am not interested in a man and he tells me he likes me I kindly respond that I feel honored and flattered by him but I only see him as a friend or just not looking for a bf. Because a lot of times as a girl you are not giving the guy any hints about you liking him but then he confess the interest in you, but knowing he has some interest in you doesn't gives you permission to treat him in a rude way or to use him in your advantage.
Valeria Castro and that’s the thing. You told them something that pretty much a lot of girls tell other guys that they are not into. “Sorry I have a bf “ “or I see you as a friend”. Do you still keep them around KNOWING that they want something out of you? If you still keep them around then you are no different
Valeria Castro and that’s the thing. You told them something that pretty much a lot of girls tell other guys that they are not into. “Sorry I have a bf “ “or I see you as a friend”. Do you still keep them around KNOWING that they want something out of you? If you still keep them around then you are no different
Miguel Robb if a woman says she’s only interested in friendship, and the man is not, it’s up to the man to leave. The ball is in the mans court. If a man is an orbiter than it’s his fault.
@@miguelrobb5719 I am being clear in my position. I am stating my lack of interest in him for having a romantic relationship. I am not being rude and I am being honest. It's up to the guy if he wants to pretend he didn't understand my words and keep being around me to see if I change my mind or my perception about him.
I've heard it put once: "I would rather have a male friend who secretly loves me, than a female friend who secretly hates me". It's up to the man to have some self respect and walk.
This is needed! The general population assumes that women are more agreeable than men but the truth is the opposite. It's intentional behavior. Awesome video!
Yeah, if she's really your friend, she'd want you to be happy. And if she can't be with you or doesn't want to be with you, then she'd try to find you someone that will.
@@JonBandMiley how hot are we talking...11,s as in paid models-yeah I totally agree that they hang out together,but Im talking in general terms..A female model who is over shadowed by a hotter model is ruthless with her evil.The smoking hot chick at school is nice to the new girl even hotter than her..NO WAY...
@@brettjackman3696 Well you can't tell now cuz of the covid lockdown, but once it's over, pay attention to everyone around you. You'll see hot girls hanging out with other hot girls. And ugly girls hanging out with ugly girls. You won't see a hot girl with an ugly best friend.
Absolutely right! --- "You're too good for me" and "I don't deserve you" (usually done with an extremely cute ductus (characteristic of speaking, but also extended to body language, tone, attitude) … are (unfortunately) dark red flags. Translation: "You got me unprepared in a very weak moment where my instinctual filters cannot hide that these statements are really true. The truth is: (a) I cheated on you, or (b) I am currently cheating on you, or (c) i will cheat on you in the near future (it is 'in the making')" Even with my experience and knowledge now … could i do the right thing? (break up) How strong would the excuses be? ("No, it is not 100% the case - probably just using the wrong words to show gratitude …") Men (I did, too) usually see this as a compliment and our instinct misleads us. We may generate a disarming, warm feeling, the protector instinct gets triggered, we feel extremely appreciated . And even if we identify a part of it as a 'fishing for validation', we happily validate by sth like "Yes, you do! [Because I say so and really believe it]" because we see that our validation is important to her (and this implies we have a high anough status - well, who would care about our validation otherwise. ;) )
It means you're the rebound bro. She doesn't like you, she just likes your attention RIGHT NOW. All girls love attention and if they get caught off guard by a break up and don't have a back up prepared "you're too good for me" translates to the right now guy. You're the place holder for "guy she really wants".
Wish I had watched this about 20 years ago. Much more painful to learn on your own. If you are young and watching this, listen up. This guy is talking sense.
@@kellyg4818 ....probably because women are never content with anything or any situation therefore never happy. When a man try's to make that mindset happy he realizes the futility of it and becomes miserable himself. It's just something men learn over time.
icedtea because happiness is a subjective feeling. Also women tend to get influenced more by the surrounding environment than men. That’s why women are mostly unhappy.
Treat a woman like treating a lawyer and a politician. Whatever they say, never take it seriously! Just watch everything that they do. Watch and observe their actions.
I like how she just: "You ask sensitive stuff. I know it's true and I know that you know it is true so I can't lie about it, thus I am awkwardly laughing because I feel busted."
I just want to say, that in a culture where social media and youtubers are orientated towards females and their feelings, you sir are a breath of a fresh air. Thank you for that
That's just it I like Alexander but he like many content people including men talk about men's issues,problems,rights and struggles but they never talk about men it's like Nixon without watergate,jfk but no dallas 1963,elvis but no drugs,Lennon but don't talk about Mark Chapman and all the redpillers do it talk about men but really talk about women always letting women ignore men's pain or hijack the narrative happens much too often and for too long even in social media nothing has change men are physically and emotionally disposable.
This has been my experience my whole life girls/ women just stringing me along, getting my hopes up, wasting my time, to the point where I'm so cynical that if a girl is actually interested in me, I don't believe it. And the question is, and this really blows my mind, how can they not know the resentment they are causing? Even actual hatred. Personally, when I figure out their game I leave the situation and ghost them, but a lot of guys don't, and they could do something drastic.
@@ConsultColin-fv6rc I just couldn't comprehend it as a guy. I'm broke. I don't have much to offer. Did she really go through all that, just for attention from ordinary me? Couldn't she have just spent that effort on guys she likes? This is why we seem to be so sex focused. I don't even care about having sex in the first month. But I need it as a guarantee that I'm not a fool😭
Bahahaha 🤣 I don’t know why I found this funny, but it made me laugh imagining it. I guess because, horses have a character intuition and don’t trust easily, but she’s dead so it’s ok.
Was in an "orbiter" friendship with a woman for 7 years. It became pretty clear she only wanted me around for emotional support and occasionally to make her boyfriend(s) jealous. What's interesting is that the guys she was in relationships with were all fairly unattractive, but unlike me they all had decent apartments. She tended to move in with them very quickly since she was constantly between jobs with no chance of renting or buying an apartment of her own. Now looking back at it she was the perfect example of a low-quality dating prospect, and a valuable lesson for me. Me not being able to date her wasn't because I was unattractive, it was simply due to the fact that I didn't fit her specific requirements. All those years I was confused since objectively, we were in the same league so to speak. I failed to take into account the wonders of female hypergamy, the benefits of which I now enjoy a few years later...
It's funny, because I used to be friends with a girl I liked for years. I knew I was in the friendzone and it bothered me to be her emotional pillow but couldn't help it. One day when when we were having lunch with a group of friends and the topic was brought up by a mutual friend, I replied that I never thought of her anything more than a good friend. In her face. I don't know what went through her head but it must have done something, we had sex that same night.
"I never thought of her as anything more than a friend" Her brain: "Hold on... Did he just say he didn't want to sleep with me? That can't be right, we've been exploiting that exact thing for years. We have to prove him wrong!"
Thank God for your work. This type of typical exploitative behaviour needs to be exposed and publicly shamed, just as male manipulative behaviour should. We as a society need to be consistent and accountable for our conduct as men and women for us to have mature relationships, whether platonic or sexual. Exploitative behaviour is abusive, no matter what the exploiter has been through or frames their reality to be. Alexander, your explanations are very fair and zen like in their clarity.
When a woman is free to choose whatever she wishes,she chooses what's most bad for her.Here's a tip as well:If she verbally describes you as good then she's not into you.
@@Macheako Not really no. Incase you haven't noticed. This channel exists so men aren't used up by women. Which happens all the time. Our society revolves around women.
I wouldn’t say if she called you “Good”... that’s too vague. If she described you as a “good guy’ or a “nice guy” and says you’re not her type or she doesn’t like you like that. Then you have a point.
@@LanceRahoo when a woman labels you as "good" or "nice" it means you are good for providing her non sexual benefits (attention, time, resources) but she's not sexually attracted to you.
Kara Ndiaye I don’t think either of our comments are mutually exclusive... I was just offering context, I have found in my dating experience women often keep things vague, so they can change the context of what they say, when convenient. Example: “You’re good” she’s impressed. “You’re a good Guy” as you said: (paraphrasing) you are kind and beneficial to me, while not exploiting me and expecting me to benefit you in return. Like those not so good guys I choose to date.
Fellow women who do not want to hurt men’s feelings but also want to signal our lack of interest play the boyfriend card. Basically what I do, to avoid any sort of misconception on the male friend’s end, is to bring my boyfriend up in conversation when I’m getting to know a guy. It’s not as blatant as “uhhh, I have a *boyfriend*”. It’s more like “oh yeah, my boyfriend plays that game too. He has fun with it. I’ve never personally played because I’m not into first person shooters, I prefer open world exploration.” I do this with every guy, not because I think every guy is interested in me, but as an insurance policy in the small likelihood he is.
@@ΤΙΝΜΑΝ There are some men who refuse to accept a woman’s “no” and only back off when they believe another man has claimed “ownership” of her. Making it clear to men that I am unavailable and uninterested is not manipulator behaviour. Women wouldn’t have to lie and say they had a boyfriend if men just accepted “I am uninterested”. I don’t have a boyfriend anymore though. I have a girlfriend. I now talk about my girlfriend. If a guy really isn’t getting the hint I play 4 different versions of brainrot “skibidi Fortnite” songs in succession and hope he gets the ick.
Only believe a woman IF she DOESN'T want something from you. _"How can you tell that she doesn't want something from you?"_ you ask? Easy; do not provide ANYTHING to her and see what she does. That way she will reveal the answer to you and it didn't cost you anything~
@@Devinfrbs the hard part is finding people like that to begin with. Almost everybody you try to befriend wants something from you whether they say so or not.
Many mornings would prepare coffee or breakfast for both of us. I liked doing it and felt good for "providing" her, treaing her like a princess. Noticed she never went out of her own way to treat me. Only day I just did things only for me. She was mad... I realized then. I was free.
This is one of MOST USEFUL videos simply because this is the plight of probably 90% of men, and the first time I have ever heard it stated so fully. (Wellll...there is that scene in When Harry Met Sally about men and women can never be friends...) but this is the first time I have heard the word orbiter. And how about that cliche about the "only true love is unrequited love."? And yes, they ALL do it. The tragedy is so many men don't believe it. This is a case where hope is not a good thing but a waste of time at the very least. Nice job, Alexander.
Terrible advice. If you set the measure of whether a woman likes you as is she sleeping with you, you'll put yourself in a world where 99,9999% of women don't like you. And that's half the population. That will crush you mentally in the long term. You can have meaningful and useful relationships even if there's no sex involved.
@@lennysmileyface It means she sleeps with several men and she didn't sleep with you because she was committed but only because it was your time. Then she keeps "cycling" mates.
I tell everybody when I want only friendship (and when he will abandon me without hope to romantic connection, so be it). But when a guy say "ok" and then still tries as a friend to flirt with me, I dont care if he stays as my friend for years and he is fake (he only pretends to be a friend) - its his fault and when he is mad about the lost time with me, I told him the truth right in the beginning. I also often say "I will never in the future sleep with you or be your girlfriend" = I think its straight enough, I couldnt be more clear about my intentions.
@@maxk880 @maxk880 People shouldnt lie. How can I know for sure if he only pretends to be friends or likes me? Its his responsibility (what if I told some guy "Im OK to by only friends but it would be a lie and I would pretend well", how he could know if Im truthful or not?? He has to believe my words and if I lie, I will suffer = my karma = people shouldnt lie.
may i ask what the next level is? I'm just on the next level and I like to think our relationship is stable as I am not afraid of losing her and I call out bullshit when i see it, I also made sure she calls out my bullshit as well. I do not want to get lazy and start loving her more than I should. What does the next level look like? (1 year relationship so far)
Likewise, if you have a female friend that says that you are an amazing friend ask her to introduce you to one of her female friends (if she has any) that are single, if she refuses to introduce you to one it is a sign that she thinks you are undateable and it's an honest answer she subconsciously tells you.
It is not just women, humans in general do not respect men who act as emotional sponges. A strong confident man would never kowtow to women wishes as an desperate attempt gain relation with her.
You mean a good looking, confident man would not become an orbiter, because he actually has that choice because he's good looking. Ugly means have 2 choices: alone or orbiter. Good looking means you have a 3rd choice: She'll actually be with you.
She says "Any girl would be lucky to have you". *FLASH ANNOUNCEMENT This is new!* This behavior is called pa-fall. She feels that being nice is not an indication she wants you attracted to her. She feels completely entitled to attraction without reciprocation. And she's totally aware of the hypocrisy, but she doesn't care.
The deal is, sexual attraction is based on CONFLICT, not sweetness. Flowers and candy are BORING. She needs a CHALLENGE. Argue with her a little bit, don't let her push you around.
that just shows u respect yourself, and that does well in society, and that in turn brings wealth and status to the relationship. of course that’s different to compromising and working on the relationship, but even irrespective of respecting the other person bc they arent in self inflicted slavery, having a relationship one sides out of ur favor with none of ur wants or needs catered to feels first awful and the experience is literally not for u! its for the other person. so thats a few things on that
and that is the secret they don't want you to know. The true definition of know your own worth is this. Don't allow yourself to be mistreated or disrespected once you know what's up.
@@concerta56 You can do both! And she might just end up chasing you...field tested. Chasing you is the greatest gift you can give her in her tedious life of guys kowtowing to her 24/7
I reversed the friend zone card once. It was the 19 yo friend of a FWB. She's gorgeous but highly insecure. Treats her "partners" like dirt, apparently never experienced much rejection. She was physically very attractive, though not attractive enough to bear her character. You guys should try it some time in being the more active friendzoning part on a woman like that. Slip into some sort of close situation, like watching movies together in bed, give her the "You know, this is really nice. I need a girl like you in my life. Not you of course, but someone like you. I mean she'd need to be less difficult and cook for me but otherwise just like you. You are a great friend. One day you're gonna make some guy very happy. Not me of course, but someone." And watch the whole dynamic shift. Guess who got a freshly cooked meal everytime he visited afterwards? Guess who got tested on the "just friends" part by provoking behaviour? Women love to friend zone but hate it being done to them. I had her quickly turned into what male beta orbiters do... She would cook for me, clean my laundry, pay for dinners, and get suspiciously upset when I talked about women and told me how I deserve so much better women, "women like me". Dont ask me why I did it, I guess it was my own psychology experiment. It was fun to watch how quickly women utilize the least effort thing to get you to break frame, the thing they usually withhold: Sex. Don't give in though. Gain profit indirectly: EVERY female friend of hers opened with some sort of "Oh, I heard so much about you, I hear about how great you are all the time..." That friendzoned girl will do the marketing / advertisement / social proof for you in her female friend circle for you. If you do it right, it's an all you can F* buffet for you. Prepared and served by her.
OK. You're kinda my hero now. And the amazing part is ... I believe you. It sounds too good to be true, but I've accidentally reverse-psychology'd girls in a similar way. Not as epic, but similar.
I have learned this the hard way, and only once or twice was a woman honest enough to say "sorry, not interested," upfront. This video needs to be shown to boys so they won't waste years of their lives on women who do this. This is why men can't be friends with women.
Some of us are brave enough to confront it thankfully.. but most are not I would say. Men CAN be friends with women - when both of them are taken I would argue.
imo the first one tbh @geraldgrogan is what i would prolly do - or just start hanging out wiht other chicks and ignore her - if your in her "stable" to borrow from animal behavioral models of female mammals, then she will act differently about it and seem jealous if she likes you. Thats my move imo - but every girl is a little bit different.
Just understand and ignore women. Focus on your work, hobbies, and self improvement. And just ignore women and be distant from them MOST women are cold and calloused.
@@Axiomatic75 i bet if you graph them all out them nice girls would make like 10% of your sample size. This is the reason i said MOST. Not ALL. But most
@@Axiomatic75 same for Filipinas. FYI Pinoy parents raise their daughters to value becoming beautiful. always telling them to grow into a pretty woman so that they can snag a rich foreigner, and also get rich from the man. Proof? I am Filipino, living in the Philippines.
Love this. I wish I had all this info when I was younger. Had to learn it the hard way. Hope this reaches as many youngsters as possible so they can avoid a lot of wasted emotional energy.
Elderly men in my country always say there is NO friendship with women. If you do that, you must be gay. No other option available. But today's culture says there is friendship between men and women, so I believed it. I was a beta orbiter my entire life, never capable to understand why I couldn't "do the next step".
@Chris yeah that's the origin of the incel. Incel are wrong in many ways for believing there is free lunch, but at this particular point this makes sense, women want attention and social validation, men want sex. Think about a direct exchange is wrong, that's not how things work, but when women have everything and men have nothing, the incel way of thinking gets credit.
if iliked her i would be ass and a real dick. If not i would treat her like a queen . and do any thing for her , couse she would turn me on to the hot friends ! x player
Simple solution: Don't try to get a girlfriend by putting yourself in the "friend zone". You can be a friend to a woman, but if you want more than that, it's on you to make your intentions known. If she turns you down, take it as a win - now you can move on and not waste your time orbiting her. If she does reciprocate your interest, that's obviously also a win for you. So it's a win-win to be direct with your feelings towards her.
Orbiters have existed across every culture and period in time. Know that if you have fallen victim to this trap, you are not alone. Thank you Alexander for bringing this fact to the light. We are witnessing the greatest shift in male self-awareness history has ever seen.
"You need to get over this illusion that women are angelic beings who can do no harm." @1:43 As a woman, this honestly can't be stated enough. For some reason, cultures around the world seem to believe this myth and it's simply just not true Given the right circumstances, most of us can do very dark deeds.
It's a good thing that reality shakes you out of the delusion. Now you can be ultra selective when it comes to the opposite sex and you can stop being used for their selfish gain.
Great video, Alex puts out another insightful piece of content that literally every young guy on the planet needs to hear. I had to learn this the hard way from my last "girlfriend" after we were "seeing each other" for most of a year. I eventually put all the red flags together and just stopped talking to her. You can learn this lesson the hard way as I did, but it would be better for you to learn it the easy way by just paying attention to this fine lad right here.
The most liberating thing a man can learn and embrace is that women are here to help us, not the other way around. If she's unwilling to be your helper you shouldn't have anything to do with her. If that means staying single then so be it.
That is with anyone though to be fair. Helping each other equally is essential for any relationship, romantic or otherwise. One-sided relationships normally turn toxic eventually.
Alexander this may be the most important video to an Orbiter that he'll ever see !! I'm 70 years old I've seen a lot !! Definitely spot on !! I think to really make it strike home even more ( if that is possible ?? ) ,... would be to interview "several orbiters" .... and have them admit to this fear of losing the friendship of whom they are attracted to !! Otherwise it requires new thinking and hard work !! But there is real Beauty in working with the TRUTH !!! Dudes don't miss the boat !! BTW ... EXCELLENT INTERVIEW !!! She is a "perfect example" !!
Spot on. I think an analysis of the wasted money and time orbiters spend on these user types would aslo help. That and the damage to the masculine psych in constantly placing yourself in a position of submission and in-action, how much damage does it do a guy to hear from the girl about the boyfriend and to visualize this too.
If only these videos had been around 30 years ago. Would have basically saved my life from being wasted from ages 14-26 and even beyond. Thankful I can at least teach my sons the truth. Keep up the great work!
@@oddcreatureX Seeing all these comments wishing they found these videos when they were younger makes me so grateful I discovered Alexander’s channel as a 15 year old
Her: Johnny cheated on me yesterday. 😭 Me: aww that’s okay Cindy, your so smart and pretty. Johnny is a jerk. Her: I know. Why do I always fall for the bad boys. I wish I could find a good guy. Me: well I’m a good guy, I would love to date you. Her: oh sorry billy but your like my brother. Me: 🤔
Dad’s don’t teach it. They are from another time/curcunstances… and also many things they don’t know (many are blue pill or just beta) ou just old. We all learn mostly from life, art, friends, youtube. I had a good father, but not on those particular relationships matters… they just don’t teach much…
I actually married her because I was concerned she wasn't really committed. Three years later she told she that she had "changed her mind" and didn't want to be married anymore.
If you have a moment of doubt/misery where you think she's using you... she is. The question is: are you using her? For companionship, as a crush, to feel complete? If you are both using each other for your own benefits, then you need to be aware of the reality of your situation and that it could change (negatively) in a heartbeat. You are *only* friends. Or you need to walk away. Stop wasting your time and energy on something that won't happen (as it hasn't so far, has it?) Have a clean break. Focus on yourself. Build your life. Then when you meet that "special someone" you'll have so much more to you, and so much more to share. Being an orbiter can make you feel wanted, but really you aren't. You are just a *tool* to be used.
The more of Alexanders videos I watch, the more convinced I am that staying single is the way to go. I wished I was this intelligent and informed at his age.
She's never yours. It's just your turn. Women love conditionally and those conditions center around what she can get from a man...money, power, status. for the most part. Pretty much anything they can get out of you. You are just a means to an end. Enjoy being around women. Just know they really don't like you that much if at all. They only like what you can provide them. Have fun. Use them like they do you.
I've left a lot women behind because they were getting all the emotional support you'd get from a relationship from me and when I said something they would always say that they love me, but as a brother. I've heard all the "any woman would be lucky to be with you" trope. I got it very quickly what was going on so I stopped and left, I've only had 2 women actual come back and attack me for not giving them what they wanted, I told them I made my intentions clear. I've found a lot of women can't handle rejection, not being in control or even being told no. Maybe it's because a lot of women are told all the time how amazing and beautiful they are and don't have to chase most of the time. Anyway that was my story 😂
I'm sorry buddy you had those experiences but in hindsight it made you stronger for it. You don't let yourself get taken advantage of by the users. If the woman says that "any women would be happy to have you" and you say "so how about you?" and their answer is immediately no, they never liked u to begin with. Been there done that unfortunately. Got out of one of those where she seemed interested to start for the first month, then slowly every text or call seemed to annoy her. When i then asked her out it was like she was looking to find a way to reject me before she could ever come up with a reason to date me😒. My fault I know. Thats my story.
Yes, we go wild if you reject us, you'll know it because the "what are you gay?" line will come out lol. We are sick fucks us girls... sociopaths most of us. Many of your mothers and sisters as well. Most of them are never going to tell you the real truth. IMO tbh, I don't think we should be allowed in positions of power in government on this basic fact. We have mostly very little control of our own innate power over society and men. We've managed to men convinced that we want equality, when we want dominance. We don't want just half of your money, we want to destroy you as a human being in the process. Never forget, we are a predatory - prey species - the best thing at hurting and killing humans isn't bears or lions or wolves or even the most deadly of viruses - no the best thing at hurting and killing humans - is HUMANS.
Knew a pretty girl in high school that proudly bragged about this sort of behavior. It was like a badge of honor for her, boasting about how much money and time she extracted from her hangers on.. Many, MANY women don't see any problem with it as it's seen at their version of men using women for sex, or something. Two wrongs make a right apparently.
Facts, I recently got out of a toxic relationship just a day ago and the woman in question I suspected of either sleeping with her cousin or having feelings for him. Yes cousin as she claims it's her cousin but the way the man was touching her says otherwise. safe to say it was a long distance relationship and I walked away. also to note yes I met her that's how I knew her and yes we had been intimate before but glad I walked away as everything she said were lies
Alan Roger Currie has written a book titled "The Possibility of Sex: How Naïve and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly", recommended reading.
I needed to hear this. As a nice person, I’m too gullible and I keep giving women the benefit of the doubt, and they keep using me and giving nothing back.
Beware of the narcissist. "If it's benefiting them, they don't care how it impacts you". The only time to believe a woman is when her actions match with her mouth. Good luck with that! This is a very good well presented video that offers good instruction for unwary men.
I think the only time you should believe her is when she tells you how she doesnt like you when she's mad. Especially when not getting their way. Like these borderline women yelling "I hate you, I wish I'd have never met you" when mad about something minor. Believe it when they tell you. Even and especially if she then goes back into lovebombing afterwards. Doesn't matter if she's your FWB, GF or wife, if she indicates she hates you when she is mad, absolutely take her word for it.
Borderlines...they are a category in of themselves. Absoultely avoid them. A relationship with them is inviting chaos into your life. Borderlines are all like that.
Man you;ve just nailed my last 2 years!~ It was only that she deliberately tried to get me up to 14 years gaol for no reason at all other than "I deserved her to do what she did"because of doing for her something she's always praised me for doing for her for almost the whole 2 years! The whole thing was a lie & I haven't spoken to her for 3 months now & never will again as i despise traitors!~
Good stuff, Alexander. There will always be instances in life where two people aren't in the same league of attractiveness or are not compatible. But communicating up front is key. Guys need to learn that getting more definitive so you can check your feelings and NOT be taken advantage of? Is a good thing. You can choose to be friends with a girl who doesn't like you, but you may need to push the issue to keep her from leading you on. You can't expect them all to reject your attraction+attention.
Good point. It's highly unethical for a woman to take advantage of men in this way... In the same way that it's unethical to the quarterback to bang all the cheerleaders... But like it or not both exist.
So here is my story. I once met a girl which was all the things you described. She was "into me", she said nice things and she loved to keep me around. She had a boyfriend which many times referred to as "jerk" and not the one for her. I believed she wanted a relationship with me but every time i mentioned it she changed the conversation. I couldn't understand her but out of respect to myself i wanted to clear the sutiation. It was not easy (the hope you describe). But i was determined. I became colder and colder.I found the courage toi tell her that i cannot continue liek this. She did not answer. 2 Days later she came to my house in a bad emotional situation and told me that she could really use a drink which became 2,3,4. She came physically closer to me as never before. She seemed drunk and i was abit tipsy...it didn't take long. Next day she broke up with the guy... I realize this might be the exception but could it be that my determination changed her mind about me or was she really tired of her relationship?
Women can't accept a man breaking up with them. So if you threatened to leave, she probably was afraid of losing power over you. She was probably hoping she could continue using two guys at once. Maybe she wanted to make sure you were good in bed before leaving the other guy
This video and especially the comment section made me cry. Not because I "just realized", no, I know that I have a girl like this in life. But because I don't know how to get rid of her and move on. I'm on dating apps for two years and those few matches all rejected me. But guess what? She always comes back. I like her. But I know someone likes her more and she doesn't like me at all.
Was orbiter before of one girl, the thing is i knew it wasnt good... But desire for love and affection overwhelmed me, and the little romantic and beautiful (if u can say that) moments we had kept me going.. I was deluding myself that probably we will be together.. *Spoiler alert * we didnt.. And the worst part was that i blamed and unconsciously was punishing myself for it(doing drugs, escapism etc) . I putted so much meaning in my life to this girl and once we broke up, i was very depressed.its a dangerous route, and guys who are still orbiting around some girl. Dont!! Learn from my mistakes.
This describes something i went through for a long time when i was younger but was never really able to put it into words. i used to be a sucker for this girl and i let her use me while she pretended she genuinely cared for me. I found out later she was sleeping around and then chose to be with another guy. It really broke me at the at the time but looking back I feel like it was good for me to go through it because I learned a valuable lesson. I didn't realize until I saw this that it was actually common at all. I always thought that this situation was unique to me.
A woman who is a true Christian can have genuine desire and love for a man AND not give herself physically. She will wait for a commitment of marriage. Rare as it may be these days it is the proper choice.
From what i have learned on this channel is: 1) Always Do the opposite of what a woman says. 2) Always assume the opposite of what she says look at what she does instead.
I had this happen to me and when I confronted her abo to liking her she tried to blame me for having ulterior motives. I’m like I can be friends and not get laid with guy friends. Also why do women try to blame us for that when they are selfish enough to leave us hanging around just for there own validation it’s ridiculous
As a bisexual guy, women can't pull this crap with me. I think straight guys are more susceptible to this behavior. Guys, seriously make some gay/bisexual male friends and they'll help you with understanding women better. And help make sure you don't fall for the mind games women sometimes like to play.
In my 56 years I have learned 3 immutable truths.
1) True love is much rarer than you think.
2) The vast majority of people will never find true love.
3) The person who cares the least in a relationship will always have the most power.
Good luck.
Thanks, sir.
Perspective from the older and wiser is GOLD.
juste live like a top G. women s juste an accessory. focus on the dev your business and they will run after you.
@@causeimyourfa while I agree with your advise, women will not run after you.
That last part hit home like crazy.
"Women have boyfriends and they have girlfriends. If you're not sleeping with her, you're a girlfriend" -Rollo Tomassi. Truest statement I've ever heard on this topic.
And what if YOU friendzone HER , because you have better options availlable ?
@@cyre9188 then she is your boyfriend
@@cyre9188 Women are interested in attention, men are interested in intercourse
If you put her into a friendzone, it means you become pure f-buddies, without the validation.
The reverse of "emotional t-pon"
@@cyre9188 Of what value is a woman in a friend zone? Do you need to cry on her shoulder? Do you need her to move your couch?
Or just a friend. It's only the friend zone if you're physically attracted to that person and you're only hoping to get together eventually. Just keep in mind friendship is a two way street girl or guy.
A girl once told me she thought of me as a friend.
Told her I have enough friends, then dropped her off.
Well done
If she puts you in the friendzone, put her in the fuckzone. You'll only be friends if friends with benefits is an option. If not, get f*cked but don't come to me crying afterwards.
Chad move
You should have told her that you considered her a friend too
You don’t get it 😂
@@Cormac-jd2kx haha yeah, should said that after getting to know her, you'd prefer not to take it further, and drop her off without further explanation - she would go crazy LOL
I'm utterly shocked that some guys still don't realize this
*Respect yourself men*
True 100%
No simps allowed
@@commieslapper3718 I grew up with no father, I have common sense.
Seriously tho. I’m 18 and know all of this. Ion know why all these videos of females have been coming up but I know all of this about females and I think it’s cus I’ve just fw so many of them. Just do your own thing and don’t chase or validate women. Definitely let them know you are interested in multiple women tho. You act like you don’t care and live in the moment, I promise you gon be stacking bodies.
It depends on your background. Personally i had no father, no brother, no uncle, and a very toxic mother who never stop repeating that men were the cause of his unhapinness. I am 45 now and 2 years ago, i was still a "Nice guy" . Why did my father abandon me? I am stronger now. 😁
"Life is too short to spend with someone who doesn't care about you"
I wish I know this in 2005.
Myles Frampton I feel that man, I just got out of a 6 year long relationship because I found out she was cheating. Literally dating another guy, not even just hooking up. They’re so weak.
@@misterstarslayer Yes... weak for attention, money, fun etc
Yes, so spend it with many women who don't care about you I instead
@@Travel_Cebu222 PREEEEEAAAACCHHHH!!!
Same
This made me smile, Tnx for sharing. My man and I didn't work out. We were together for a long time, but it fell apart. I thought we'd grow old together, have kids... but now I'm left alone, wondering what I did wrong. The divorce was a long and difficult process. I had to move out of our home, leave behind all the memories we made together. It's hard to accept that it's really over.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds incredibly painful. I've seen friends go through similar situations, and it's never easy. You're strong for facing this, and I'm here for you. Actually, I know someone who might be able to offer some guidance and support. There's this spiritualist who's helped others navigate difficult times like this. You could set up a virtual session if you're interested.
Wow, that's so cool! I'd love to connect with them. What's their Instagram handle or UA-cam channel? I'm really interested in exploring that option.
Father abulu is his handle, he’s the best in what he does. He has remarkable powers and can help you too.
Fatherabulu, has incredible powers, and he can assist you.
Thank you so much! 🙏 You’re right sharing really does bring solutions. I’m so grateful.
If she says she's not interested ... you can believe her.
Better to be rejected than to have a girl lead you on.
Thats the thing: most will NOT say that up front, leading the guy to believe he still has a chance. When a woman gives NO RESPONSE to an offer to hang out/ hook up/ date/ have sex, its the same as a NO.
Women will communicate overtly (Not interested) when they've run out of covert communication techniques and feel cornered- Rollo
Ding ding ding, THAT is the only time you can believe it woman, when she outright says she is not interested. Even if she IS sleeping with you, she might still be using you.
Still not true. They may lie due to cognitive dissonance.
@@Stierenkloot I went to a gym in Alaska one time. A drunk guy in the sauna offered me cocaine and anal reaming. I took the cocaine and left. He yelled at me.
Actions speak louder than words and that goes for all people.
*Watch what they do, not what they say.*
nice to see ur wise comments on most of the interesting videos on youtube, dude! :)
@@disgust24 Iv whatched him in some videos too
In the Japanese culture, people NEVER say "I love you". It is such a strong phrase that it's one of those sentences reserved for a "last breath" scenario. Instead, they focus on actions. Even a small loving gesture is better than an ellaborate sentence.
Hussein always likes to go around and... *kick in open doors.*
@@thekeffar4879 Love that.
This is called, "Toxic Femininity." But we ain't ever allowed to have that conversation...are we?
too toxic to talk about it :)
Of course not, that's not politically correct to talk about!
They'll say you're mansplaining
You have free will and a mouth to speak Ur mind. Dont be a 😺
@@CouldaWouldaScmooda Until you get sued and doxed for not being politically correct.
I did this mistake 2 times. Never again. Woman can break a man if you let them..
if you become afraid of losing her then you've already lost her in my opinion.
Man I did this 3 times...I must be particularly naïve
@@aurelienbaude8646 at least mentally you lost the game. She might stick around and even be loyal, but you’ve lost the joy you used to have.
Yep I think most of us have simped at least twice, but i think after the second time you wake up quicker, and recognise when they are manoeuvring to try & freindzone you & we walk away.
@@uberhaxonovasurely that way of thinking totally removes the ability for a deep romantic connection, no?
I was the first love of my gf. She gave me money and gifts. She cut her arm twice then she left all her friends and broke her phone. Before she did that she deleted all her social media and she cried blood for me. Although she did all that, she managed to cheat on me 5 times with 3 different guys 🤣. Don't believe women at all guys .
You dodged a bullet my friend. Be grateful.
@@10314347 that wasn't a bullet. At least 5 known rounds in a single shot? That was a shotgun. These things can blow your mind, just ask Kurt.
Sounds like a BPD mess
Sounds like she had more cocks than John Wayne's hand gun ! I wouldn't trust a female as far as i could bowl her. :=)
John Wayne comment 😩😭
I am a woman and I 100% approve this message! He is exactly correct - PLEASE LISTEN TO HIM!!! Especially the part where he says that chasing after someone who doesn't want you will block you from having a relationship with someone who actually does want you. I have been blocked, so I've seen how that plays out first hand
Last year I was deeply in love with a man. We started out as friends, he asked me out, I said yes. We were in a relationship, I was sleeping with him (the sex was amazing)... and yet he was in his head convinced that I wasn't serious about him because I wasn't asking him to do things for me 🙄 When you allow yourself to get played, your thinking becomes backwards
Why did he think that way? Because his ex-gf from 5 years ago (who is now his "closest friend") was always asking him to do stuff for her. He would jump to her rescue anytime she needed something and she is a train wreck of a person so that was often. I told him a couple of times that I hated watching her manipulate him like that and he refused to acknowledge that's what was going on. After 2 months I ended up leaving that relationship because it was hurting me too much. He wasn't bonding with me because he was still so emotionally attached to her and they didn't have proper friend boundaries in place
He could have had a beautiful, loving relationship with me but he chose to give his energy to a sexless pseudo relationship with her instead... at least until she finds someone to marry her and then she'll likely never speak to him again
I am NOT one of the women who keeps orbiters and I never have been. I think that's a seriously gross way to behave. However, I know other women who are exactly as he describes and I watch men falling all over themselves doing all kinds of favors, giving them money, protecting them, running around town picking stuff up, fixing their house, etc... and I can never understand how these men don't see that they're just being used! If you're NOT in a committed relationship and you're doing things like that, they she is not interested in more and you are being used!
Seriously, have some self respect! ...and then look for a woman who respects herself as well... because women with self respect don't act like emotional prostitutes for money or favors
That kind of situation is pretty unsettling, when there is a couple, one is an abuser, and the victim is mysteriously so into the person, they gladly allow it, or they think it's normal. Now, in that case it wasn't even a couple, which makes it even worse.
Boggles the mind how this stuff happens, and those invloved just go along with it.
Can you tell more about it?
@@jeansynklar386 that's a trauma bond. People with an internalised experience of distrust to having something good with another person will find themselves either as the abuser or abusee.
I'm sorry that your potential relationship was ruined by the ex. I haven't been an orbiter but I've still been a bit hung up on a girl for a while and I've started to wake up to the fact that I need to completely let it go. It's his loss, and he's gonna realize that one day. You sound like an amazing woman. Have a nice life 🤟
Dear men, remember, never trust a woman advice....
@@Lucas-eg2xd get out your front door some
Ladies, if you’re offended by this then you’re one of the low quality women he is talking about
@@interdimensionalsteve8172 well I have a happy relationship rn and I think a lot of things he talks about is definitely true at least to some extent
@@interdimensionalsteve8172 I mean I can show it to my GF and she would probably agree to most of what this guy says, but I certainly won't show it to guys who are emotionally hurt, especially if their heart is not in the right place. I agree it could reinforce negative bias, but this content is for guys who are already there, men who are of high value. I don't think guys like that would misinterpret these pieces of information. I know I wouldn't.
@@improbablepebble8549 lol if this was for men of high value there would be no market for it
I'd guess his audience is 2% high value men .. and I'd guess you're not one of them
@@thenarrator1984 Maybe I'm not a high value man, but I guess what I really meant was this content is for men with an already good mindset; men who value personal growth. No hate tho. I wish you the best in life.
1:58 Still Official@@improbablepebble8549
"There is a lot of low-value women out there who have to be avoided at all cost".
WOW! Now that's a statement. I appreciate the frankness, so refreshing in this politically correct world of censorship.
More of this please!
100
Even though I agree with his statement, I lowkey feel that a man has to be low-value to think he can friendship his way into a relationship or pussy. Women and men that have this phony "friendzone" relationship, are both low-value, IMO. The typical symbiotic, parasitic relationship.
@Timothy They are still good for one thing :P
Yeah you need to test them
In Every Religion it is advised that a Young man who wants to become something in life should stay away from women
Cause Majority of the girls/women are not nice people for sure they will ruin u mentally, emotionally or ur career
Young men : Advice from an old guy, 68. Lust will destroy your spirit. Avoid it at all costs. The earlier you practice a stoic lifestyle, the better. Marry a plain looking women. And commit for eternity. Have children and love them correctly. Grow old talking about your kids and hobbies. Pass over to a high realm.
Amen brother.. I'm 25 and almost committed to being on this path for eternity. I'm so close.
@@HiCARTIER Good man. You will never regret doing the right thing. Go well Sir.
actually my father also said such a thing for women (well in his experience asian women, probably americans too since he moved here in his early twenties): women date and play around with hot guys (who also can do the same to women) for awhile while young, then eventually marry the “ugly” guy. hes not running off, no girl will entertain him. and so the woman who wants a family will have a stable man. realistically a plain jane can cheat very easily, everyone likes a plain jane bc theyre seemingly genuine bc “oh this girl cant sleep with anyone, look at her!” ik mean to say, but actually most men find average girls attractive bc they physically are and also that “girl next door” feeling…anyways yes its true a plain girl will cheat or otherwise less. pray you have the foresight to choose a nice girl and be a good man
It’s funny I’d be saying the exact opposite. Do your own thing, never settle. Don’t marry, don’t have kids unless you meet a perfect match for you until then keep your standards high as a man you can afford it.
@@hiddentreasures9336”afford it” you mean how young?
You have to internalize that being an orbiter is a lost cause, and demeaning to you as a man, BEFORE you are put in a situation where a woman seduces you into becoming an orbiter. Alexander is performing a public service for men, here.
Best comment
If you find yourself being an orbiter and you are in a situation where the attraction is one-sided, then you need to leave. If you like someone and want to make her first in your life and she already has someone else she likes better than keep her as a friend but move on with your search. She may also have a friend if you hang out with her or her friends you may connect with. Under no conditions should you allow yourself to get emotionally connected to someone you are not already exclusively dating. Good way to get burned.
In Every Religion it is advised that a Young man who wants to become something in life should stay away from women
Cause Majority of the girls/women are not nice people for sure they will ruin u mentally, emotionally or ur career
@@volleyballjerryred pill is a cope. The truth is your level of self development SUCKS.
@@volleyballjerry Excellent advice!
I can see why this dude gets no female viewers. They know.
🙋♀️ I am girl...but I am afraid that I must admit that a lot of women behave very bad with men.. they just like to have a guy's attention even when they are not interested on them. In my case if I am not interested in a man and he tells me he likes me I kindly respond that I feel honored and flattered by him but I only see him as a friend or just not looking for a bf. Because a lot of times as a girl you are not giving the guy any hints about you liking him but then he confess the interest in you, but knowing he has some interest in you doesn't gives you permission to treat him in a rude way or to use him in your advantage.
Valeria Castro and that’s the thing. You told them something that pretty much a lot of girls tell other guys that they are not into. “Sorry I have a bf “ “or I see you as a friend”. Do you still keep them around KNOWING that they want something out of you? If you still keep them around then you are no different
Valeria Castro and that’s the thing. You told them something that pretty much a lot of girls tell other guys that they are not into. “Sorry I have a bf “ “or I see you as a friend”. Do you still keep them around KNOWING that they want something out of you? If you still keep them around then you are no different
Miguel Robb if a woman says she’s only interested in friendship, and the man is not, it’s up to the man to leave. The ball is in the mans court. If a man is an orbiter than it’s his fault.
@@miguelrobb5719 I am being clear in my position. I am stating my lack of interest in him for having a romantic relationship. I am not being rude and I am being honest. It's up to the guy if he wants to pretend he didn't understand my words and keep being around me to see if I change my mind or my perception about him.
I've heard it put once: "I would rather have a male friend who secretly loves me, than a female friend who secretly hates me".
It's up to the man to have some self respect and walk.
This is needed! The general population assumes that women are more agreeable than men but the truth is the opposite. It's intentional behavior. Awesome video!
They're often more careful to camouflage thier hard side by sweet external words. Actions are what you watch very hard & analytically.
If she wants you as a friend, she should do the right thing and introduce you to her female friends.
Yeah, if she's really your friend, she'd want you to be happy. And if she can't be with you or doesn't want to be with you, then she'd try to find you someone that will.
women rarely if ever have any true female friends,better looking than themselves,that ,Im not sure that has ever happened.
@@brettjackman3696 I disagree with that. Usually hot girls hang out with hot girls. Everyone likes attractive people... including the same sex.
@@JonBandMiley how hot are we talking...11,s as in paid models-yeah I totally agree that they hang out together,but Im talking in general terms..A female model who is over shadowed by a hotter model is ruthless with her evil.The smoking hot chick at school is nice to the new girl even hotter than her..NO WAY...
@@brettjackman3696 Well you can't tell now cuz of the covid lockdown, but once it's over, pay attention to everyone around you. You'll see hot girls hanging out with other hot girls. And ugly girls hanging out with ugly girls. You won't see a hot girl with an ugly best friend.
Don't forget the supplement to that: "you're too good for me". And she's absolutely right, move on immediately upon hearing that.
Absolutely right! --- "You're too good for me" and "I don't deserve you" (usually done with an extremely cute ductus (characteristic of speaking, but also extended to body language, tone, attitude) … are (unfortunately) dark red flags.
Translation: "You got me unprepared in a very weak moment where my instinctual filters cannot hide that these statements are really true. The truth is:
(a) I cheated on you, or
(b) I am currently cheating on you, or
(c) i will cheat on you in the near future (it is 'in the making')"
Even with my experience and knowledge now … could i do the right thing? (break up)
How strong would the excuses be? ("No, it is not 100% the case - probably just using the wrong words to show gratitude …")
Men (I did, too) usually see this as a compliment and our instinct misleads us.
We may generate a disarming, warm feeling, the protector instinct gets triggered, we feel extremely appreciated .
And even if we identify a part of it as a 'fishing for validation', we happily validate by sth like "Yes, you do! [Because I say so and really believe it]" because we see that our validation is important to her (and this implies we have a high anough status - well, who would care about our validation otherwise. ;) )
It means you're the rebound bro. She doesn't like you, she just likes your attention RIGHT NOW. All girls love attention and if they get caught off guard by a break up and don't have a back up prepared "you're too good for me" translates to the right now guy. You're the place holder for "guy she really wants".
Wish I had watched this about 20 years ago. Much more painful to learn on your own.
If you are young and watching this, listen up. This guy is talking sense.
Same here Felix but I’m 30 years before videos like this schooled me! Damn
Wish I knew this in the 90s. Been divorced 6 years. I'm rather lonely but aren't cheated on or abused
Patrice O’neal said: A happy man is a happy relationship, a happy woman is a miserable man.
Sad but so true.
😂😂😂
Why can't a happy relationship include a happy woman?
@@kellyg4818 ....probably because women are never content with anything or any situation therefore never happy. When a man try's to make that mindset happy he realizes the futility of it and becomes miserable himself. It's just something men learn over time.
icedtea because happiness is a subjective feeling. Also women tend to get influenced more by the surrounding environment than men. That’s why women are mostly unhappy.
Treat a woman like treating a lawyer and a politician. Whatever they say, never take it seriously! Just watch everything that they do. Watch and observe their actions.
Exactly what I’m doing at this moment
I like how she just:
"You ask sensitive stuff. I know it's true and I know that you know it is true so I can't lie about it, thus I am awkwardly laughing because I feel busted."
I just want to say, that in a culture where social media and youtubers are orientated towards females and their feelings, you sir are a breath of a fresh air. Thank you for that
That's just it I like Alexander but he like many content people including men talk about men's issues,problems,rights and struggles but they never talk about men it's like Nixon without watergate,jfk but no dallas 1963,elvis but no drugs,Lennon but don't talk about Mark Chapman and all the redpillers do it talk about men but really talk about women always letting women ignore men's pain or hijack the narrative happens much too often and for too long even in social media nothing has change men are physically and emotionally disposable.
This has been my experience my whole life girls/ women just stringing me along, getting my hopes up, wasting my time, to the point where I'm so cynical that if a girl is actually interested in me, I don't believe it. And the question is, and this really blows my mind, how can they not know the resentment they are causing? Even actual hatred. Personally, when I figure out their game I leave the situation and ghost them, but a lot of guys don't, and they could do something drastic.
It's so disrespectful and I don't know why they do this. I don't feel mad about it though I just move on
Because by and large they go unpunished. If that behavior had a more significant mortality rate, it would be different.
@@rasluffi we also don't have a mortality rate for smashing and dumping so chill
Not everything can be solved by the law
@@ConsultColin-fv6rc I just couldn't comprehend it as a guy.
I'm broke. I don't have much to offer. Did she really go through all that, just for attention from ordinary me?
Couldn't she have just spent that effort on guys she likes?
This is why we seem to be so sex focused. I don't even care about having sex in the first month. But I need it as a guarantee that I'm not a fool😭
Trust a woman only when a horse is grazing on her grave.
- Hungarian wisdom
@Saad Siraj a horse is grazing on her grave = a horse is eating the grass above her grave
@@georgeturner301 It's what Mr Garrison said in South Park
Yeah we have a few good thoughts...
Szia, Zsolt.
Bahahaha 🤣 I don’t know why I found this funny, but it made me laugh imagining it. I guess because, horses have a character intuition and don’t trust easily, but she’s dead so it’s ok.
Was in an "orbiter" friendship with a woman for 7 years. It became pretty clear she only wanted me around for emotional support and occasionally to make her boyfriend(s) jealous. What's interesting is that the guys she was in relationships with were all fairly unattractive, but unlike me they all had decent apartments. She tended to move in with them very quickly since she was constantly between jobs with no chance of renting or buying an apartment of her own.
Now looking back at it she was the perfect example of a low-quality dating prospect, and a valuable lesson for me. Me not being able to date her wasn't because I was unattractive, it was simply due to the fact that I didn't fit her specific requirements. All those years I was confused since objectively, we were in the same league so to speak. I failed to take into account the wonders of female hypergamy, the benefits of which I now enjoy a few years later...
SAYS IT ALL ! VERY ENLIGHTENLIGHTING, MY BROTHER!
She said “it’s nice to know you’re appreciated & wanted” haha
It's funny, because I used to be friends with a girl I liked for years. I knew I was in the friendzone and it bothered me to be her emotional pillow but couldn't help it. One day when when we were having lunch with a group of friends and the topic was brought up by a mutual friend, I replied that I never thought of her anything more than a good friend. In her face. I don't know what went through her head but it must have done something, we had sex that same night.
You damaged her narcissistic ego and she had to soothe it ASAP
Well played, sir, well played. 😂👏
The going forward to be sex friend..lol
"I never thought of her as anything more than a friend"
Her brain: "Hold on... Did he just say he didn't want to sleep with me? That can't be right, we've been exploiting that exact thing for years. We have to prove him wrong!"
@@vikingshark2634
Or sometimes it could be because she realized she wanted NSA sex.
Thank God for your work. This type of typical exploitative behaviour needs to be exposed and publicly shamed, just as male manipulative behaviour should. We as a society need to be consistent and accountable for our conduct as men and women for us to have mature relationships, whether platonic or sexual. Exploitative behaviour is abusive, no matter what the exploiter has been through or frames their reality to be. Alexander, your explanations are very fair and zen like in their clarity.
the most authentic channel in this platform, keep up dud men need you!
Some women want you to like them, but reserve the right not to like you back.
John Houlgate yeah I noticed that, weird.
The right of "first refusal". Even if you don't like them, they want to be the ones to do the rejecting.
@@PastafarianLemur as a guy I’ve been guilty of this too at times.
once they loose their ability to pair bond, it's just companionship and sex for them, but youre the one in love.
@@Pastor_Sempahurts yet true
When a woman is free to choose whatever she wishes,she chooses what's most bad for her.Here's a tip as well:If she verbally describes you as good then she's not into you.
Because if you were good she wouldn't be into you.
@@Macheako
Not really no. Incase you haven't noticed. This channel exists so men aren't used up by women.
Which happens all the time. Our society revolves around women.
I wouldn’t say if she called you “Good”... that’s too vague.
If she described you as a “good guy’ or a “nice guy” and says you’re not her type or she doesn’t like you like that. Then you have a point.
@@LanceRahoo when a woman labels you as "good" or "nice" it means you are good for providing her non sexual benefits (attention, time, resources) but she's not sexually attracted to you.
Kara Ndiaye I don’t think either of our comments are mutually exclusive... I was just offering context, I have found in my dating experience women often keep things vague, so they can change the context of what they say, when convenient.
Example: “You’re good” she’s impressed.
“You’re a good Guy” as you said: (paraphrasing) you are kind and beneficial to me, while not exploiting me and expecting me to benefit you in return. Like those not so good guys I choose to date.
Fellow women who do not want to hurt men’s feelings but also want to signal our lack of interest play the boyfriend card.
Basically what I do, to avoid any sort of misconception on the male friend’s end, is to bring my boyfriend up in conversation when I’m getting to know a guy. It’s not as blatant as “uhhh, I have a *boyfriend*”. It’s more like “oh yeah, my boyfriend plays that game too. He has fun with it. I’ve never personally played because I’m not into first person shooters, I prefer open world exploration.” I do this with every guy, not because I think every guy is interested in me, but as an insurance policy in the small likelihood he is.
😂
@@bananewane1402 Ok but if you don’t have a boyfriend you’re just being a manipulator
@@ΤΙΝΜΑΝ There are some men who refuse to accept a woman’s “no” and only back off when they believe another man has claimed “ownership” of her.
Making it clear to men that I am unavailable and uninterested is not manipulator behaviour. Women wouldn’t have to lie and say they had a boyfriend if men just accepted “I am uninterested”.
I don’t have a boyfriend anymore though. I have a girlfriend. I now talk about my girlfriend. If a guy really isn’t getting the hint I play 4 different versions of brainrot “skibidi Fortnite” songs in succession and hope he gets the ick.
I cut everyone away that makes me feel like they are just using me to fill up time. And now I'm most times all alone.
Being alone and happy is better than being with someone and staying sad.
That's better for you Son.
Use your loneliness wisely
Yes likewise.
Same. But there's a peace in that.
Only believe a woman IF she DOESN'T want something from you.
_"How can you tell that she doesn't want something from you?"_ you ask?
Easy; do not provide ANYTHING to her and see what she does.
That way she will reveal the answer to you and it didn't cost you anything~
That works for almost anyone. Male or Female. If somebody needs nothing from you, there's nothing to manipulate you for.
women like that will probably leave you alone anyway, just walk off and totally disregard you
@@Devinfrbs the hard part is finding people like that to begin with. Almost everybody you try to befriend wants something from you whether they say so or not.
They will still lie in an anonymous survey, fellas. Some times it seems like there's nothing to gain, but not so.
Many mornings would prepare coffee or breakfast for both of us. I liked doing it and felt good for "providing" her, treaing her like a princess.
Noticed she never went out of her own way to treat me.
Only day I just did things only for me. She was mad... I realized then. I was free.
This is one of MOST USEFUL videos simply because this is the plight of probably 90% of men, and the first time I have ever heard it stated so fully. (Wellll...there is that scene in When Harry Met Sally about men and women can never be friends...) but this is the first time I have heard the word orbiter. And how about that cliche about the "only true love is unrequited love."? And yes, they ALL do it. The tragedy is so many men don't believe it. This is a case where hope is not a good thing but a waste of time at the very least. Nice job, Alexander.
"but ask your self this question: is she sleeping with you?" hahahaha amazing.
Why is it called "sleeping"? No one is actually sleeping.. That's something I'll never understand..
@@191. "sleeping " In this sentence means "sex".
@@d.sgalactic2580 I know.. but why?? Nobody's sleeping. Doesn't make sense. 🤔🤔😆
Terrible advice. If you set the measure of whether a woman likes you as is she sleeping with you, you'll put yourself in a world where 99,9999% of women don't like you. And that's half the population. That will crush you mentally in the long term. You can have meaningful and useful relationships even if there's no sex involved.
@@191.you usually sleep in the same bed after having sex in the night buddy. Get laid bro
As the saying goes, she's not yours, it's just your turn.
It's actually worse than that
Yes, the merry go round.
What is this saying supposed to mean lmao
@@lennysmileyface It means she sleeps with several men and she didn't sleep with you because she was committed but only because it was your time. Then she keeps "cycling" mates.
@@HighLanderPonyYT I mean a bit presumptive lmao. Some dudes do the same. I think it's generally just shitty people I guess.
One of my closest friends is a super hottie. The friend zone is the best. No dramas, no jealousy, no problems.
3:19 “I’d rather string them along and still have the friend”
Who intentionally deceives friends and just how many women are doing this?
Women. All if them, when they benefit from doing so.
All of them, and they are not your friend either.
"I'll use him, and when he finds out and gets angry I'll just replace him"
What a vile view of friendship
Humans are essentially bad.... People have to get their fairytales about a happy non-manipulative world out of their minds. FAST.
All of them
at least the girl in the interview is being honest, i give her credit for that
Kinda like a store owner who admits he always keeps his thumb on the weigh scale
@@RideAcrossTheRiver lol
@Cyril Euscobar it brings to mind...
"Yo momma so fat, she got three smaller fat women orbiting around her!"
Quite cynical I’d say. I don’t think she should giggle about it
I wouldn't give credit to a criminal who confesses his crimes.it doesn't change the fact that he's still a criminal.
I tell everybody when I want only friendship (and when he will abandon me without hope to romantic connection, so be it). But when a guy say "ok" and then still tries as a friend to flirt with me, I dont care if he stays as my friend for years and he is fake (he only pretends to be a friend) - its his fault and when he is mad about the lost time with me, I told him the truth right in the beginning. I also often say "I will never in the future sleep with you or be your girlfriend" = I think its straight enough, I couldnt be more clear about my intentions.
That's fake and evil of you. If you know he likes you as more than a friend, don't be friends with him.
🤡🤡🤡
@@maxk880 @maxk880 People shouldnt lie. How can I know for sure if he only pretends to be friends or likes me? Its his responsibility
(what if I told some guy "Im OK to by only friends but it would be a lie and I would pretend well", how he could know if Im truthful or not?? He has to believe my words and if I lie, I will suffer = my karma = people shouldnt lie.
The manipulation doesn't stop when the the sex begins. Now it's the next level
This is true. It's just your turn.
the only reason for her to have sex with you is getting something out of it. So still is being "nice" to keep you arround but in a desperate way.
Best comment ever.
may i ask what the next level is? I'm just on the next level and I like to think our relationship is stable as I am not afraid of losing her and I call out bullshit when i see it, I also made sure she calls out my bullshit as well. I do not want to get lazy and start loving her more than I should. What does the next level look like? (1 year relationship so far)
@@uberhaxonova not all women are the same
In Germany (roughly translated) we are saying: TRUE friendship is only common under men.
Also meaning you cannot be friends with a woman.
What's the German version? just curious
@@prance4058 Wahre Liebe gibt es nur unter Männern
@@vallfallar6201 Hört sich ziemlich schwul an.
@@Keckegenkai Jo, weiß was du meinst. Aber es stimmt einfach.
@@Keckegenkai er hat das #nohomo vergessen
Likewise, if you have a female friend that says that you are an amazing friend ask her to introduce you to one of her female friends (if she has any) that are single, if she refuses to introduce you to one it is a sign that she thinks you are undateable and it's an honest answer she subconsciously tells you.
Great advice
If I saw this in 2009, I would have avoided being friends with a lot of women. I’ve always felt this way since I was a kid.
what was the ending with those girls?
have got into a serious relationship with anyone of them?
Never go out of your way to do something for a female friend that you wouldn’t do for one of your bros.
So very true!
“She’s feeding you crumbs.”
Thank you. That hit.
It is not just women, humans in general do not respect men who act as emotional sponges. A strong confident man would never kowtow to women wishes as an desperate attempt gain relation with her.
Facts!!
Agreed, but you can be a sponge without being the guy that highly worships the pussy he'll never get.
We have to stick up for our brothers and push down the witches.
You mean a good looking, confident man would not become an orbiter, because he actually has that choice because he's good looking. Ugly means have 2 choices: alone or orbiter. Good looking means you have a 3rd choice: She'll actually be with you.
No a men will be a good person and keep on doing that regardless how much women and others hate him for it.
She says "Any girl would be lucky to have you". *FLASH ANNOUNCEMENT This is new!* This behavior is called pa-fall. She feels that being nice is not an indication she wants you attracted to her. She feels completely entitled to attraction without reciprocation. And she's totally aware of the hypocrisy, but she doesn't care.
Pa-fall? Isn't that tagalog?
Philippine society is rampant of this bihaviour
Eye opener
The deal is, sexual attraction is based on CONFLICT, not sweetness. Flowers and candy are BORING. She needs a CHALLENGE. Argue with her a little bit, don't let her push you around.
Nah
Raw sexual attraction it's purely physical and biological.
that just shows u respect yourself, and that does well in society, and that in turn brings wealth and status to the relationship. of course that’s different to compromising and working on the relationship, but even irrespective of respecting the other person bc they arent in self inflicted slavery, having a relationship one sides out of ur favor with none of ur wants or needs catered to feels first awful and the experience is literally not for u! its for the other person. so thats a few things on that
If offered a choice between being alone or being an orbiter, thruth is always the better way to go.
and that is the secret they don't want you to know. The true definition of know your own worth is this. Don't allow yourself to be mistreated or disrespected once you know what's up.
The best move is to friend-zone HER. "You re such a pretty girl, any guy would be lucky to have you!" heh
And that is the thruth 😛
@@concerta56 You can do both! And she might just end up chasing you...field tested. Chasing you is the greatest gift you can give her in her tedious life of guys kowtowing to her 24/7
Belle Delphine thinks otherwise
I reversed the friend zone card once. It was the 19 yo friend of a FWB. She's gorgeous but highly insecure. Treats her "partners" like dirt, apparently never experienced much rejection. She was physically very attractive, though not attractive enough to bear her character. You guys should try it some time in being the more active friendzoning part on a woman like that. Slip into some sort of close situation, like watching movies together in bed, give her the "You know, this is really nice. I need a girl like you in my life. Not you of course, but someone like you. I mean she'd need to be less difficult and cook for me but otherwise just like you. You are a great friend. One day you're gonna make some guy very happy. Not me of course, but someone." And watch the whole dynamic shift. Guess who got a freshly cooked meal everytime he visited afterwards? Guess who got tested on the "just friends" part by provoking behaviour? Women love to friend zone but hate it being done to them. I had her quickly turned into what male beta orbiters do... She would cook for me, clean my laundry, pay for dinners, and get suspiciously upset when I talked about women and told me how I deserve so much better women, "women like me". Dont ask me why I did it, I guess it was my own psychology experiment. It was fun to watch how quickly women utilize the least effort thing to get you to break frame, the thing they usually withhold: Sex. Don't give in though. Gain profit indirectly: EVERY female friend of hers opened with some sort of "Oh, I heard so much about you, I hear about how great you are all the time..." That friendzoned girl will do the marketing / advertisement / social proof for you in her female friend circle for you. If you do it right, it's an all you can F* buffet for you. Prepared and served by her.
This should be chiseled in stone mate!
OK. You're kinda my hero now. And the amazing part is ... I believe you. It sounds too good to be true, but I've accidentally reverse-psychology'd girls in a similar way. Not as epic, but similar.
Great 👍
awesome! doing ok right now, but I'm going to try that next ..and know just where to do it 😀
This is a qualified approach to life the universe and everything.
0:35 she has that stare, psycho stare. But in a cute way. But still a psycho. She knows what she's doing.
Idk. Psychopaths tend to not break eye contact and blink less often
U made stuff up
I have learned this the hard way, and only once or twice was a woman honest enough to say "sorry, not interested," upfront. This video needs to be shown to boys so they won't waste years of their lives on women who do this. This is why men can't be friends with women.
Some of us are brave enough to confront it thankfully.. but most are not I would say.
Men CAN be friends with women - when both of them are taken I would argue.
@@DekkarJr 🤦
@@DekkarJrshould I confront her and ask, or should I just make a move and wait to get rejected?
imo the first one tbh @geraldgrogan is what i would prolly do - or just start hanging out wiht other chicks and ignore her - if your in her "stable" to borrow from animal behavioral models of female mammals, then she will act differently about it and seem jealous if she likes you.
Thats my move imo - but every girl is a little bit different.
@@DekkarJr Agreed, my dad is good friends with my aunt on my mom’s side and they’re both taken
Just understand and ignore women.
Focus on your work, hobbies, and self improvement.
And just ignore women and be distant from them
MOST women are cold and calloused.
facts
@@Axiomatic75 i bet if you graph them all out them nice girls would make like 10% of your sample size.
This is the reason i said MOST. Not ALL. But most
@@Axiomatic75
in essence, its still the *Pareto Principle*
@@Axiomatic75 ... Running a hostel 🤦♂️ genius!!
What a brilliant way to meet women. And adventurous women.... On holiday... In a foreign land... 😁
@@Axiomatic75 same for Filipinas. FYI Pinoy parents raise their daughters to value becoming beautiful.
always telling them to grow into a pretty woman so that they can snag a rich foreigner, and also get rich from the man.
Proof?
I am Filipino, living in the Philippines.
Love this. I wish I had all this info when I was younger. Had to learn it the hard way. Hope this reaches as many youngsters as possible so they can avoid a lot of wasted emotional energy.
"Rather string him along" - Complete deception and lies is their game...Narcissism at it's finest!
Disgusting!
Elderly men in my country always say there is NO friendship with women. If you do that, you must be gay. No other option available. But today's culture says there is friendship between men and women, so I believed it. I was a beta orbiter my entire life, never capable to understand why I couldn't "do the next step".
@Chris yeah that's the origin of the incel. Incel are wrong in many ways for believing there is free lunch, but at this particular point this makes sense, women want attention and social validation, men want sex. Think about a direct exchange is wrong, that's not how things work, but when women have everything and men have nothing, the incel way of thinking gets credit.
If you friendzone her genuinely.. then it's possible to be friends
if iliked her i would be ass and a real dick. If not i would treat her like a queen . and do any thing for her , couse she would turn me on to the hot friends ! x player
But why are you gae? 😂
"it is an illusion, it is a deception" Thanks, you talking so clearly was very very helpful
You quickly put things in their place. Don't get exploited
Simple solution: Don't try to get a girlfriend by putting yourself in the "friend zone". You can be a friend to a woman, but if you want more than that, it's on you to make your intentions known. If she turns you down, take it as a win - now you can move on and not waste your time orbiting her. If she does reciprocate your interest, that's obviously also a win for you. So it's a win-win to be direct with your feelings towards her.
If you tell you love her - you loose already
I actually like the friendzone as I don't want to commit either.
Orbiters have existed across every culture and period in time. Know that if you have fallen victim to this trap, you are not alone. Thank you Alexander for bringing this fact to the light. We are witnessing the greatest shift in male self-awareness history has ever seen.
"You need to get over this illusion that women are angelic beings who can do no harm." @1:43
As a woman, this honestly can't be stated enough.
For some reason, cultures around the world seem to believe this myth and it's simply just not true
Given the right circumstances, most of us can do very dark deeds.
This video is so cruel and though... I agree 100% but oh man reality is just hitting you just in the face, we need to wake up
Its a damn shame!!
You need to wake up...you
Reality and pain are pills that make you stronger.
It's a good thing that reality shakes you out of the delusion. Now you can be ultra selective when it comes to the opposite sex and you can stop being used for their selfish gain.
The brutal reality
Great video, Alex puts out another insightful piece of content that literally every young guy on the planet needs to hear. I had to learn this the hard way from my last "girlfriend" after we were "seeing each other" for most of a year. I eventually put all the red flags together and just stopped talking to her. You can learn this lesson the hard way as I did, but it would be better for you to learn it the easy way by just paying attention to this fine lad right here.
I needed someone like you 40 years ago. You are a God send for men of all ages looking for a long term healthy relationship with a woman.
The most liberating thing a man can learn and embrace is that women are here to help us, not the other way around. If she's unwilling to be your helper you shouldn't have anything to do with her. If that means staying single then so be it.
That is with anyone though to be fair. Helping each other equally is essential for any relationship, romantic or otherwise. One-sided relationships normally turn toxic eventually.
I like that, well put!
it's ignorant and stupid. Help and caring needs to go both ways and certainly within healthy limits.
100% correct
If she (really) likes you, she WILL fark you without hesitation.
No if, buts or maybe.
Well said Alex
FARK? what language (or from what planet) is this word from?
💯
You the man keep making this content much love brotha!
Alexander this may be the most important video to an Orbiter that he'll ever see !!
I'm 70 years old I've seen a lot !! Definitely spot on !!
I think to really make it strike home even more ( if that is possible ?? ) ,... would be to interview "several orbiters"
.... and have them admit to this fear of losing the friendship of whom they are attracted to !! Otherwise it requires new thinking and hard work !! But there is real Beauty in working with the TRUTH !!! Dudes don't miss the boat !!
BTW ... EXCELLENT INTERVIEW !!! She is a "perfect example" !!
excellent idea, and i dont often use the word excellent. Maybe the third time in my life
Spot on. I think an analysis of the wasted money and time orbiters spend on these user types would aslo help. That and the damage to the masculine psych in constantly placing yourself in a position of submission and in-action, how much damage does it do a guy to hear from the girl about the boyfriend and to visualize this too.
If only these videos had been around 30 years ago. Would have basically saved my life from being wasted from ages 14-26 and even beyond. Thankful I can at least teach my sons the truth. Keep up the great work!
@@oddcreatureX Seeing all these comments wishing they found these videos when they were younger makes me so grateful I discovered Alexander’s channel as a 15 year old
Remember, there is always a person who is right for you, who values you.
Her: Johnny cheated on me yesterday. 😭
Me: aww that’s okay Cindy, your so smart and pretty. Johnny is a jerk.
Her: I know. Why do I always fall for the bad boys. I wish I could find a good guy.
Me: well I’m a good guy, I would love to date you.
Her: oh sorry billy but your like my brother.
Me: 🤔
LMAO!! Sad but true!
Ive been there.
r/NiceGuys
You are a " ¡BETAAA MALEEE!.
Lesson learned. Never tell her that you're that guy she'd be happy to have.
I didn't have a dad. So learning from all y'all. I wanna be a great woman of compassion and wisdom to teach my nieces and nephews. Thank you.
Most dads don't flop it out on the table like AG
You would benefit from watching strong successful male on YT. I have.
Dad’s don’t teach it. They are from another time/curcunstances… and also many things they don’t know (many are blue pill or just beta) ou just old. We all learn mostly from life, art, friends, youtube. I had a good father, but not on those particular relationships matters… they just don’t teach much…
I actually married her because I was concerned she wasn't really committed. Three years later she told she that she had "changed her mind" and didn't want to be married anymore.
If you have a moment of doubt/misery where you think she's using you... she is.
The question is: are you using her?
For companionship, as a crush, to feel complete?
If you are both using each other for your own benefits, then you need to be aware of the reality of your situation and that it could change (negatively) in a heartbeat.
You are *only* friends.
Or you need to walk away.
Stop wasting your time and energy on something that won't happen (as it hasn't so far, has it?)
Have a clean break. Focus on yourself. Build your life.
Then when you meet that "special someone" you'll have so much more to you, and so much more to share.
Being an orbiter can make you feel wanted, but really you aren't. You are just a *tool* to be used.
The more of Alexanders videos I watch, the more convinced I am that staying single is the way to go. I wished I was this intelligent and informed at his age.
She's never yours. It's just your turn. Women love conditionally and those conditions center around what she can get from a man...money, power, status. for the most part. Pretty much anything they can get out of you. You are just a means to an end. Enjoy being around women. Just know they really don't like you that much if at all. They only like what you can provide them. Have fun. Use them like they do you.
I've left a lot women behind because they were getting all the emotional support you'd get from a relationship from me and when I said something they would always say that they love me, but as a brother. I've heard all the "any woman would be lucky to be with you" trope. I got it very quickly what was going on so I stopped and left, I've only had 2 women actual come back and attack me for not giving them what they wanted, I told them I made my intentions clear. I've found a lot of women can't handle rejection, not being in control or even being told no. Maybe it's because a lot of women are told all the time how amazing and beautiful they are and don't have to chase most of the time. Anyway that was my story 😂
I'm sorry buddy you had those experiences but in hindsight it made you stronger for it. You don't let yourself get taken advantage of by the users. If the woman says that "any women would be happy to have you" and you say "so how about you?" and their answer is immediately no, they never liked u to begin with. Been there done that unfortunately. Got out of one of those where she seemed interested to start for the first month, then slowly every text or call seemed to annoy her. When i then asked her out it was like she was looking to find a way to reject me before she could ever come up with a reason to date me😒. My fault I know. Thats my story.
Yes, we go wild if you reject us, you'll know it because the "what are you gay?" line will come out lol.
We are sick fucks us girls... sociopaths most of us. Many of your mothers and sisters as well. Most of them are never going to tell you the real truth.
IMO tbh, I don't think we should be allowed in positions of power in government on this basic fact. We have mostly very little control of our own innate power over society and men. We've managed to men convinced that we want equality, when we want dominance. We don't want just half of your money, we want to destroy you as a human being in the process.
Never forget, we are a predatory - prey species - the best thing at hurting and killing humans isn't bears or lions or wolves or even the most deadly of viruses - no the best thing at hurting and killing humans - is HUMANS.
Sad pitiful creatures no wonder they were repressed by the patriarchs of old
@alexfowler978 0:00 0:00 0:00 5
Knew a pretty girl in high school that proudly bragged about this sort of behavior. It was like a badge of honor for her, boasting about how much money and time she extracted from her hangers on.. Many, MANY women don't see any problem with it as it's seen at their version of men using women for sex, or something. Two wrongs make a right apparently.
Facts, I recently got out of a toxic relationship just a day ago and the woman in question I suspected of either sleeping with her cousin or having feelings for him. Yes cousin as she claims it's her cousin but the way the man was touching her says otherwise. safe to say it was a long distance relationship and I walked away. also to note yes I met her that's how I knew her and yes we had been intimate before but glad I walked away as everything she said were lies
Alan Roger Currie has written a book titled "The Possibility of Sex: How Naïve and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly", recommended reading.
It must be similar to Esther Vilar's book "The Manipulated Man". She says women use sex and praise to manipulate men.
@@childfreesingleandatheist8899 Naw for real get out of here !!! Well if a hardcore case of Dr. Feelgood comes a knockin then my bed be a rockin !!!
"Women who happily exploit you", I didn't believe it until it happened to me. Don't do like me kids.
I needed to hear this. As a nice person, I’m too gullible and I keep giving women the benefit of the doubt, and they keep using me and giving nothing back.
Beware of the narcissist. "If it's benefiting them, they don't care how it impacts you". The only time to believe a woman is when her actions match with her mouth. Good luck with that! This is a very good well presented video that offers good instruction for unwary men.
True
I think the only time you should believe her is when she tells you how she doesnt like you when she's mad. Especially when not getting their way. Like these borderline women yelling "I hate you, I wish I'd have never met you" when mad about something minor. Believe it when they tell you. Even and especially if she then goes back into lovebombing afterwards. Doesn't matter if she's your FWB, GF or wife, if she indicates she hates you when she is mad, absolutely take her word for it.
Borderlines...they are a category in of themselves. Absoultely avoid them. A relationship with them is inviting chaos into your life. Borderlines are all like that.
i think you don't understand bpd
Second comment of you that I read and I’m pretty sure we have been through the same with women.
Man you;ve just nailed my last 2 years!~ It was only that she deliberately tried to get me up to 14 years gaol for no reason at all other than "I deserved her to do what she did"because of doing for her something she's always praised me for doing for her for almost the whole 2 years! The whole thing was a lie & I haven't spoken to her for 3 months now & never will again as i despise traitors!~
Good stuff, Alexander.
There will always be instances in life where two people aren't in the same league of attractiveness or are not compatible. But communicating up front is key. Guys need to learn that getting more definitive so you can check your feelings and NOT be taken advantage of? Is a good thing. You can choose to be friends with a girl who doesn't like you, but you may need to push the issue to keep her from leading you on. You can't expect them all to reject your attraction+attention.
Good point.
It's highly unethical for a woman to take advantage of men in this way... In the same way that it's unethical to the quarterback to bang all the cheerleaders...
But like it or not both exist.
So here is my story.
I once met a girl which was all the things you described. She was "into me", she said nice things and she loved to keep me around. She had a boyfriend which many times referred to as "jerk" and not the one for her. I believed she wanted a relationship with me but every time i mentioned it she changed the conversation. I couldn't understand her but out of respect to myself i wanted to clear the sutiation. It was not easy (the hope you describe). But i was determined. I became colder and colder.I found the courage toi tell her that i cannot continue liek this. She did not answer.
2 Days later she came to my house in a bad emotional situation and told me that she could really use a drink which became 2,3,4. She came physically closer to me as never before. She seemed drunk and i was abit tipsy...it didn't take long. Next day she broke up with the guy...
I realize this might be the exception but could it be that my determination changed her mind about me or was she really tired of her relationship?
Women can't accept a man breaking up with them. So if you threatened to leave, she probably was afraid of losing power over you. She was probably hoping she could continue using two guys at once. Maybe she wanted to make sure you were good in bed before leaving the other guy
This video and especially the comment section made me cry. Not because I "just realized", no, I know that I have a girl like this in life. But because I don't know how to get rid of her and move on. I'm on dating apps for two years and those few matches all rejected me. But guess what? She always comes back. I like her. But I know someone likes her more and she doesn't like me at all.
Was orbiter before of one girl, the thing is i knew it wasnt good... But desire for love and affection overwhelmed me, and the little romantic and beautiful (if u can say that) moments we had kept me going.. I was deluding myself that probably we will be together.. *Spoiler alert * we didnt.. And the worst part was that i blamed and unconsciously was punishing myself for it(doing drugs, escapism etc) . I putted so much meaning in my life to this girl and once we broke up, i was very depressed.its a dangerous route, and guys who are still orbiting around some girl. Dont!! Learn from my mistakes.
This describes something i went through for a long time when i was younger but was never really able to put it into words. i used to be a sucker for this girl and i let her use me while she pretended she genuinely cared for me. I found out later she was sleeping around and then chose to be with another guy. It really broke me at the at the time but looking back I feel like it was good for me to go through it because I learned a valuable lesson. I didn't realize until I saw this that it was actually common at all. I always thought that this situation was unique to me.
A woman who is a true Christian can have genuine desire and love for a man AND not give herself physically. She will wait for a commitment of marriage. Rare as it may be these days it is the proper choice.
Why am I finding all of these Christian women that are having sex with multiple men?😝
Agreed
Yea but she ain’t gonna pretend you are just friends.
From what i have learned on this channel is:
1) Always Do the opposite of what a woman says.
2) Always assume the opposite of what she says look at what she does instead.
I had this happen to me and when I confronted her abo to liking her she tried to blame me for having ulterior motives. I’m like I can be friends and not get laid with guy friends. Also why do women try to blame us for that when they are selfish enough to leave us hanging around just for there own validation it’s ridiculous
Shaming is just another manipulation technique that women use to get men to do what's convenient for them.
You're really kind to help men like this, sir. Good on ya!
As a bisexual guy, women can't pull this crap with me. I think straight guys are more susceptible to this behavior. Guys, seriously make some gay/bisexual male friends and they'll help you with understanding women better. And help make sure you don't fall for the mind games women sometimes like to play.
Such an advantage but women can tell nowadays some like it some don’t- being bisexual