Addressing all 25-Year Old Thinkers
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- Опубліковано 24 вер 2024
- Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and Meditation
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I don't know if anyone's familiar with this, but the 25 YO thinker reminds me of Soren Kierkegaard's description of the aesthetic life: “He cannot become old, for he has never been young; he cannot become young, for he has already become old; in a way he cannot die, for he has never lived; in a way he cannot live, for he is already dead.”
Gut gesprochen. ❤
ropefuel i did not ask for, but needed
thats such a great insight
@@andrzejwilk7316 That's your take away from the video? 😩
@@huehuehuey more like a desperate cry for attention, carry on
**General Introduction & Disclaimer:** 11:43
**Meditation Safety Discussion:** 13:13
- Dangers of intense meditation: 13:33
- Research on meditation effects: 17:31
- Importance of safe practices: 19:23
**Quick Win: Therapy Success Story:** 23:28
**Main Topics:**
- **25-Year-Old Thinker:** 30:53
- Understanding the mind's desire for stimulation: 32:59
- How overthinking leads to negative emotions and coping mechanisms: 36:02
- The thinker's struggle with action and experience: 40:47
- Imaginary success vs. real achievement: 44:18
- The inefficiency of starting and stopping: 46:29
- How to overcome the thinker's mindset: 48:03
- **Cycle of Social Anxiety:** 01:13:24
- Breaking the cycle by targeting individual steps: 01:14:05
- Reducing need for social interaction through solitude: 01:15:45
- Active vs. passive challenges and choosing solitude: 01:19:32
- Interacting with people and managing overwhelm: 01:22:48
- Avoiding isolation and engaging with others: 01:40:41
**Q&A:** 01:48:27
- How to tie everything together: 02:00:47
- Managing anxiety and focusing on enjoyment: 02:06:26
**Closing Remarks:** 02:07:28
You are a god
Goat
did you get chatgpt to do this?
You're a saint
your a hero
video starts at: 11:43
We love you
The hero we need but don’t deserve
Try 32:00
Big clutch
MVP 🏌🏻♂️
Best advice i ever got.
Stop thinking, Start doing! You cannot think yourself out of a bad situation, you need to MOVE out of it.
Literally. The moment you let go of fear the world around you literally changes 🔥💯.
Wish I saw this vid a year ago
You can also fail to think something through adequately before acting. It's more important to learn when and where to draw the line.
You can't sniff your way out of a cocaine addiction
@@jayaramh7750yeah you can its called 6 feet under.
"Nooooo don't turn 25 you're so sexy!"
-Leonardo DiCaprio
Not wrong 💀💀
More like “don’t turn 20,” honestly.
@@heavnxbound once they hit 26, he's no longer interested in them
people get less attractive as they age past their physical prime who knew
16*
Oh man, I remember when I used to overthink social interactions, but then I stopped caring and the problem just kinda solved itself.
Yeah, autopilot works for platonic interactions, but for flirting your brain has to be more active, quick-witted and creative in the moment.
Haha when I stopped caring was when my life really fell apart because that tends to be what actually happens when you stop caring. Must’ve been a fluke if it worked for you
@@sunnybadgr5073imagine judging whether someone is a suitable partner or not based on if they seem quick witted and clever or not. I think you can find less judgmental dates. Don't be so hard on yourself
@@hatch22 How less judgmental should we be? How hard should we be on ourself?
Thank you for your time and thoughts.
@sunnybadgr5073 But that should be autopilot too?
This video won't get deleted right? I will probably come back this video whenever I need to remind myself of how things actually are. Please don't delete the video Dr. K
I would back it up somewhere of its that concerning tbh
Just download that bih
youtube-dl it
@@QW3RTYUUhey what’s the best way to download a UA-cam video (hopefully with the video too if possible) without getting a virus?
As the three other people above me have stated. Download the video now if you are afraid it’s going to disappear
I have ADHD diagnosed late, trying to figure out life. In a very loving 2-year relationship however I am straining it due to the lack of control I have on my own mind. And that my focus and attention tends to be on unimportant aspects. I also can’t settle. My partner said “you have the same insecurities as someone 3 months into a relationship, not two years”. I have been living life 95% in my head. I have days where I am almost a zombie because of it. This leads to the darker, there is no reason for me to be here thinking. As well as they would be better off without me / I’m holding people back / they deserve more. I’m trying to find value in myself and get a fire in my belly to live my own life and be comfortable taking up space. Everything I’ve read talks about reigniting the fire in your belly. I don’t have one. I’m not sure if I ever did. If I did it was extinguished extremely early on. I’m determined to move on from this pathetic life into one I have control over and that starts in my head. Struggling with it but these videos and the comments section are gold dust.
Same in someway
I don't fully know what having ADHD implies, all I know is: The fuel to ignite the "fire in your belly" can be hard to find for some people but it may be just around the corner! My mother only found her calling at 40~ and she's thrilled now, 30 years later :) Keep up the determination, I'm sure you'll find it!
@@Liednard this was so supportive and comforting! Thank you
Somatic therapy or Emotions Focused Therapy
@@kaylinelisa thank you!
This may have stopped me from suicide.
I'm about 50 mins in and definitely a 25/26 year old thinker. Thanks so much man. Thinking of dropping a post in the subreddit too.
As someone who was there, I'm glad you're still around brother. It's rough out here
I'm glad you're here
hugs
same here 26 year old man
I'm glad you're here man. You're not alone.
"Anytime our mind is unable to accept the consequences of our actions, it becomes paralyzed." If that ain't the truth, I don't know what is. Like, sure, I could go tell this lady I think they're cool and want to hang out, but this opens me up to the possibility of being rejected. At that point, my mind slams on the brakes because that's not an acceptable outcome. Too damaging. My ego/self-esteem/whatever must be preserved at all costs.
Kind of dangerous to think that way, a rejection shouldn't mean you as a person are less. It's not like you like every single person you meet or want to date them, but that doesn't mean they themselves are flawed and 'not enough' as a person. It's a matter of compatibility a lot of times. I've been seeing that myself a lot in recent years. There's people I would have liked to be friends with that I have no chemistry with, and there were people desperately clawing at me as a friend (and possibly more, tho I'm married) that I simply had no draw towards. I didn't dislike them, but they weren't someone I enjoyed hanging out with. But there's others that do enjoy them and thankfully they've moved onto that. It's a shame how many interactions and experiences (and life lessons!) one can miss out on if you try to "protect" what's in you. I feel like it's akin to protecting a child from everything. Any hardship, any opposition, or even any injury. They don't know what to do with the world because they were never taught how to interact with the bad parts of it. They don't know how to protect themselves or how to move on from bad treatment. If we 'protect' our cores indefinitely from everything around we prevent ourselves from becoming resilient and we stop our own growth we could gain from positive or altering experiences. Even the bad ones have use. I've been through some horrible things in recent years, but I don't feel bad for them. I was seriously mistreated to the point of considering offing myself, but coming out of it I've learned so much and I'm enjoying life even more now. It sucked in the moment, but boy does it change my perspective of things, in a good way.
Right. Why make yourself miserable like that? Why give someone else a reason to punish you? Better stay safe in your head!
✨ it's the trauma ✨
Rejection is helpful though. Having a fragile ego & being afraid of conflict or discomfort is extremely unhealthy for relationships. When you’re with a woman you love, there will still be difficulty and things she doesn’t like or you don’t like. You need to be comfortable with discomfort.
You should re-think this and think desensitization. If I ask 40 woman out, not only will I stop caring about what the outcome is, but then my 'not caring too much' attitude will translate into confidence, then I can just be myself 100% when asking someone on a date.
If you never take the training wheels off to stop falling, you'll never learn how to balance.
Go out there and experience the shame, experience the rejection... stop thinking about not having women for years on end and just go out and start talking to them.
And here the point of learning is to realize, that the acceptable outcome is what reality brings as experience for you. If you're rejected, that's a good thing because it means you won't have to deal with something that wouldn't have worked out in the first place. Realizing that a rejection is not a criticism of you. You still got experience with asking a girl out, and if the first 10 say no, well thank god there are more than 10 girls in this world.
People meme on the "worst she can say is no" aspect, but in reality the worst she can do is give you experience with rejection management. If your focus is on experience rather than outcome, you will become infinitely more satisfied and successful in life.
I like this advice. Thinking the same negative low self-esteem thoughts will wear them into your mind like reading the same thing over and over again will help you remember it. Cues such as minor social embarrassment that trigger the negative spiral of thoughts will work on your brain like flash cards help you memorize important information. When you're spiraling, realize that you're just walking the pre-walked path that has been eroded into your mind. And go do something or learn something instead.
The same mechanism that makes you insecure makes you intelligent and talented (literally, the same genes that are associated with higher risk for things such as ADHD, BPD, Schizophrenia, Depression, also have a "comorbidity" for artistic skills, academic intelligence and improved pattern recognition). It is your brain, you are in control, and you can use those brain cells for something that makes your life better instead.
“Just go do something and learn something instead” doesn’t work, as free will doesn’t actually exist. We don’t just choose to do things, there’s always neurobiological mechanisms that precede conscious thought and behaviour and these mechanisms are preceded by more influences, that’re either internal or external. Conditioning works, this video is a type of conditioning. It exposes a person to new information that their brain will process, this will then alter how their brain analyses reward and cost. You have to ultimately perceive something as rewarding in order to be motivated to pursue it
@@mmediocahyt1170ok then fail I guess 🤷♂️ poor little you
@@xXx_Regulus_xXx Maybe do some research on neuroscience, then re read what i’ve said.
@@mmediocahyt1170 It's not either or. People DO have agency if they choose to embrace it. Yes, choice does within a probability field, it behooves you and everyoe else to believe that free will versus determinism probably, like most things, exist somewhere in between and depending on perspective.
@@palmereldritch_6669 Determinism is irrelevant. I’m just talking about biological causality. Everyone has agency, yet this is ultimately the illusion of control. We’re organic matter and we ultimately respond to conditioning. Berating people for “their” choices doesn’t always help and rarely ever addresses the root cause. The more logical approach is a neuroscientific one, then a psychological one.
The 25 year old thinker part literally made me cry like a waterfall for the first time in 6 years... I turned 25 in January and check absolutely ALL the boxes 😞
Same bro but I'm 19 we got this!
good !
Do acid, the veil will lift.
There is hope man, trust me I know because I've been there (still not over it tho but its coming!)
My life didn't start until I was 25.
I was trapped in a toxic relationship with my high-school sweet heart. We were together for over 8 years... the longer it went on the more I thought leaving and actually doing something with my life instead of just getting high and being unhappy was impossible.
The simplest solutions tend to be the most difficult choices. We become complacent and think our current situation is the only one we are worthy of. That couldn't be further from the truth.
My mother went to college and got her degree in her 60's... Old dogs can in fact learn new tricks
Always remember, motivation doesn't beget action, action begets motivation.
I'll be 34 in October. I'll be married in September and I have a career with upward momentum and will likely retire when I'm 55... if you'd told me that even 2 years ago I would have laughed in your face.
God I needed this like 20 years ago. Kinda chuffed that I've figured out some of this; I'm incredibly grateful for the rest of the picture. Thank you for a more detailed map of the way forward
I got my first non dead end job 3 days ago, at the age of 28. I gotta say, at first I felt not so great about the opportunity because it is an entry salary (for an entry position). Now that I'm actually seeing how things are in the real world for the first time I'm humbling down real quick and just letting go of my delusional, lifelong expectations, which feels like killing the invincible, never wrong, morally superior part of me. It's definitely painful but at this age when all you managed to do in the past were half hearted efforts that despite of making you tired just ended up in failure, I guess it's not that much of a bad deal. If you're struggling, humble down, be willing to take the first steps and sticking to it. Took me 2 and a half years to get this position, throughout the way I've felt depressed, felt like I was getting nowhere, felt like a fool, got disappointed, for humiliated at some interviews, but I just kept getting back at it. Chill guys, we're gonna make it
20 years old thinker here, you're right and in a way expectation is a burden and i will try to start wtih lower expectation so that it won't come crashing down and also because of my expectations i start out with someone so it actually starts from a casual talk? Thank you my friend for this informational video!
No need to lower expectations. A lot of expectations u have are basic human needs. Just cus some people can't amount to those expectations, doesn't mean u need to change them. Some people are meant for you, some aren't.
- 25 year old thinker
Only advice I have for Dr k is to try to avoid isolating towards a specific age.
We have 35 and 45 year old thinkers as well
That thinking of "i'm behind and it's too late" is a very difficult to overcome, this video was a precision nuke towards it. Thank you!
granpa chill it was to wack a massive niche, ofc he knows
@@YourEyes-wl8ke you have a 45 year old granpa?
@@mrshrek362 You would be surprised, some people are wild. Edit: just to add to this. I was at my grandfathers 50th birthday and I was 8 years old.
Lol I was just thinking welp I’m being like that about 35 but all of this is still valid. My grandma at 90 used to scoff at people like this and say the end is when you’re dead, stupid. I wanna be more like her.
I think he is speaking to all ages of over thinkers. The meme in question just happened to be “The 25 YO over thinker” where you could just as easily put any age in there
I think one thing he might not have addressed in his assessment of the this "archetype", is when you are good at imagining a scenario, and then deploy an effort in reality, even the good results can be seriously disappointing, which arguably feeds the "it's better in my head" mentality FAR more than the failures.
Wow, this is exactly what I needed, it's so strange that I was really struggling to find a realisation of what problem I was having with how I was thinking and it was basically all that was said in this video, mainly about resolving thoughts, annihilating those castles in the sky, bringing you mind in line with reality and killing the idea of achieving perfection. Man Dr.K you spitting pure bars of gold!
its funny.....i have the same reaction to every stream/video uploaded by dr. k. but then i think there cannot possibly be so many things wrong with my mindset can there?. Where did i fuck up so much, or is it really that bad? hope dr.k addresses this question
Very little is so gratifying as seeing a Dr K vid you know is just meant for you, watching it and realising what you were gonna do was already on the good path, and also being informed of the pitfalls that you might be heading towards. That is me rn. You are my idol Dr. K. Keep on doing what you're doing.
Stream starts at 11:42
25 yo thinker at 32:00
The cycle of social anxiety: 1:13:30
Hope you're having a nice day and that your big brain thinker energy will yield great results!
me listening to the chill music for so long that I forgot that I was waiting for Dr K to po up lmao, too high hahaha
@@Ju-Peter667😂😂
@@Ju-Peter667jump scare
Hope you were able to meditate with that music 🙏@@Ju-Peter667
Thanks mate, wish you the best ❤
I have a weird relationship with this phenomenon. I’m currently 23, almost 24, and I definitely fit in some of these categories but I’m very far from others. I definitely get lost in my thoughts and that plays against me sometimes, but I’ve also found that my issues don’t stem from starting to take my life in a better direction. It stems from keeping the momentum. The thing is though, I don’t make the decision to stop doing something, my subconscious does. I’m trying to go through college but I hit points where I completely stop retaining information, to the point where I can study 8 hours a day and make it to all of my lectures and just not get it. My personality is gaged to meet stuff like this head-on and try to push through it, but that always makes the problem worse. I got to the point in 2022 where I put my head down and pushed through my classes, passed all of them with 2 extremely close to failing, and about a week after finals I started getting extremely intense panic attacks and I was extremely paranoid for the entire summer. I couldn’t even sleep properly, as I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly almost the entire time. I eventually recovered, but now I know there is an absolute limit to trying to push myself past my mental blocks and I’d rather not go through that again. The problem then becomes: if I keep developing mental blocks during semesters and I can’t just push through them without risking a similar mental breakdown, wtf am I supposed to do? I saw multiple therapists, about 3-4 months each, but not one actually understood and was able to provide any help. This drives me more inwards and my imagination has become escapism because of this, which then becomes a paradox. If I go out and try to do something with myself, I’ll reach the point of being frustrated with my lack of progress but feel like I need to keep pushing, but apparently pushing through is both not healthy and not the answer? It’s extremely confusing.
I also want to clarify the parts of the “25 year old thinker” I fall under:
1. Extremely active imagination, leading to excessive daydreaming and having little adventures in my head.
2. I don’t full lose sight of my surroundings, but I have a ton of trouble keeping myself out of my head when my anxiety is high. This can affect my driving in the absolute worst instances, however it hasn’t lead to anything dangerous.
3. Strong inner monologue that can break out of my head at times. Like I’ll think a thought and say it without noticing I said anything or I’ll start saying it subconsciously and catch myself. This has gotten me a bunch of weird looks.
4. Imagining success. It’s broad, but I can’t say I don’t do it. I’ve gotten to a point where I feel so close yet so far from it that coming up with ways to achieve success has become one of my hobbies at this point.
5. Can’t learn new things/analysis paralysis. I feel like these are two separate points, but he listed them together. I explained this earlier, I get to a point during a semester when my mind just cuts me off. I stop being able to absorb information almost completely. It’s subconscious, I don’t choose to do it.
Currently trying to find a therapist that specializes in men’s mental health and hoping they can help, but damn is it hard. I feel like I’m constantly dragging weights around.
I just want to say first, thank you for thinking through that and typing it out. It shows you truly care and are looking for help which I admire because it takes vulnerability. I feel like your struggle with mental blocks is not to be ignored, maybe there is something else beneath the surface blocking you, or maybe college is not the path. There are so many things to do on the world not in a college-oriented path, and unfortunately there’s so much going on right now that can give us worry and anxiety about the world. For me, it has been useful to explore other paths or interests, gardening, hiking, traveling and working on a farm perhaps. Anything to get out of your mind and connect with community and the Earth. Ultimately, it is great to connect with yourself, your eternal self, beyond thoughts, sensations etc. meditation can do this, deep breathing, or studying philosophy are all ways to do this. I think lots of people are going through similar things, so keep looking for help, but I suggest looking at the path you are taking and looking inside for what else may be there for you. Thank you again and good luck!
I had a counselling placemet at a university and there are so many people who are overworked with too much pressure and Perfectionism. Studying 8 hours a day is too much! I think you need a more realistic schedule with built in time for fun/time off each day. You're burning yourself out, of course you can't focus. Not sure what you study but it can be a very unrealistic and unhealthy environment because of the amount you need to retain and the pressure. I think you somehow need to reevaluate what is healthy and realistic not based on the external expectations!
@@Roswell33 I may have typed this incorrectly, but I meant up to 8 hours. I only really did that with math because I’ve had single homework assignments take me entire days from me. I usually go for 3-4 a day, at a full load, when I can. Certain subjects will give me the dreaded 8 hour days though
holy fucking shit i genuinely have never read anything as close to what ive been experiencing for the past couple years. i used to be “gifted” and smart and i still think i am but the retention and regression of some stuff has already made me feel terrible; i genuinely almost cried reading this, hope you can get help for it man. ive been trying to find ways to help and havent and its been getting worse and worse this past month as i just had a birthday. good luck man
I've learned that I can push myself way past my limits but it does come with a cost. Over time I've gotten a lot better at noticing when I start to spiral into burn-out and can catch myself before I fall. At the same time though the challenges in my life have been getting harder so it doesn't feel like I'm leveling up.
I think it helps to look back at your old work if you have some way to do that and you can see how far you've come. I've also found this from talking to people who are going through the same problems I used to have.
This is just my own experience, maybe it's helpful, maybe it's not.
35 year old thinker here (in some aspects of life). Dr. K. is spot on again. Sad, that I am too old to change and catch up now. 😂 Joke.. I'll try to keep going instead of hitting the breaks again.
Thanks so much for your work! 🙏
What are you too late to catch up on?
@@djbobby224 I'm almost 33 and feel it's too late to catch up on physical attractiveness (building an attractive physique). I'm 63 kg, 187 cm tall (6"2), very skinny.
I'm good at socializing, also with girls, quick-witted, funny, present to the moment (not in my head), but no girls ever reciprocate true indicators of interest, e.g. when I pursue them and flirt with them etc., some reciprocate verbally but never reciprocate physically, I always get friendzoned because they don't seem to find me physically attractive and the verbal reciprocation is just because they are entertained by the conversation/flirtatious vibe and go along with it, but only in a platonic way (like women flirt among themselves for fun).
I want to start a family with a fertile (early 20s) woman (so that we can have many children), but I don't feel like I will ever reach the physical attractiveness that I would be attractive to the kind of woman I'd like. E.g. if it takes me 10 years of working out to get an attractive physique, I'll be 43. And I'm worried I'll be too old then, so a 21 year old woman would reject me for being old. And if she doesn't, then her parents would (they would veto the marriage).
This worry, that I'll never reach my peak sexual market value and will have to settle for an old (not so fertile) woman is deeply ingrained and holding me back.
And I know that some 43 year old men can attract 21 year old women, but they also started working out at a young age, not at 33. So they've been building up their SMV since forever, and they're usually also quite wealthy and extroverted/well-networked and have a rich-person lifestyle, drive expensive cars etc. which is not what I want to have to do to attract a young woman, because that lifestyle would be annoying to me, and not true to my personality.
Imagine a skinny nerd who starts working out at 33, do you really think he could attract a 21 year old woman after building up his physique for 10 years, and then starts a large family?
Have you ever seen this happen? I haven't :(
That's why I feel like I can never reach this.
Who is the most extreme late bloomer (in this sense) that you've ever seen, that reached this goal?
Don’t worry I’m also turning 35 this year but I still learning new things thanks to Dr. K.
Excited for you bro
Not only you, WE are too old, because at 35 the Body beginns to die until you are 80-100y old.
Damn, it took me a year to realize I didn’t want anything because I already had everything in my head.
Although I don’t share everything with the 25-year-old thinker, the video definitely helped clarify why I wasn’t making progress. I guess this makes me 7 years ahead.
As someone who still deals with feeling lonely quite a lot the best thing I ever did was delete socialising apps off of my phone & only ever socialised in person for the most part. Deleting dating apps actually made me less lonely as opposed to more. I think it’s like showing a treat to a dog, before then it isn’t even thinking about the treat but when you show it to them all of a sudden it’s desperate for it.
Yeah I really like this and do it too. Also you don't have to be alone to be lonely, people who post themselves socialising on apps probably feel the same
Agreed.. but I’m downvoting for all the little pupperdoos being called “it” instead of “they” lol
Hard though when the only social interaction you can get is from your phone
I have read so many books and listened to so many speakers and spiritual teachers, and I have to say - honestly - you are one of the best teachers out there. My son and I both get so much out of your work. Thank you
Its funny because originally the meme said "19 year old thinker" and this meme was made many years ago, i guess all those thinkers got older now
I have a question for past "25-Year Old Thinkers" who overcame the problem:
When you try to "get a reality check" and realign your mind with reality, while coping with the negative emotions and anxiety, how do you avoid losing hope?
That's been my main problem. A sign that got me to slam on the breaks was a pushback from family members or people of influence, another was rejection (job, friendships), and finally me not valuing myself enough to truly push once I hit burnout. At some point I just completely lose any hope, as one of my greatest fears in life is "slaving away": putting mountainous amounts of effort and 30+ years later still remain unaccomplished, injured, ego shattered, while still not being good enough to change anything about my situation. My mind keeps thinking that not putting the effort is better than putting it in vain.
@@tora0neko Thank you for your answer.
@@tora0nekowhat happens when you can't like gaslight yourself or "it is what it is" anymore? Brain is incapable of not being miserable now...
@@tora0neko can't use that , I'm a panicker absolutist
I have the same fear and I waste my life away with my hobbies currently unemployed. I've somehow managed to convince myself it'd be better to not be alive than to "slave away" as you put it. Can't offer any advice but I feel you. One thing I always keep up is taking good care of my health. Eating and sleeping right and exercising. Kinda staying ready to start living.. how pathetic, wow..
What is being described is so close to how I am but just not quite the same. Instead of "reality hurts, it's always better in my head" it's more like "I don't understand reality. Why do people do this? Is this what normal people do? Is this what normal people are like? Why are they like this?" None of the imaginary stuff, just me locked away in my head constantly trying to understand what "normal" is. I tend to be extremely aware of others and what they do, and their expressions, picking them apart in my head trying to figure out what is normal and why it is normal and how to be normal. Then when I try to be "normal" I don't know if it's ego or what, but I cringe, I weird myself out, I feel stupid, it doesn't feel normal, and none of it all makes any sense.
Went into this not knowing what a 25 year old thinker was, I can see now this was me though out a very large portion of my life, i've never seen this problem expressed/articulated so clearly although i've known this was and still kinda is my problem, being a chronic thinker has only lead up to negative consequences and it kinda hurts to look back on, things are moving in the right direction now, although still battling it to some degree, thank you Dr. K!
I used to think I was a thinker. But now that I’ve thought about it more I am not really sure.
Lol🎉
An adage of mine: if something's strong enough to have beneficial effects, it's strong enough to have side effects.
Stealing this
25 yo thinker at 32:00
cycle of social anxiety 1:13:30
Thanks for posting the time stamps. ❤
Bump
Thx
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
11:30 *🔍 Meditation can be transformative, but it involves editing the "source code" of your mind, which can be dangerous if not done properly.*
17:34 *📊 Research on meditation often involves short-term trials with limited sample sizes and excludes people with acute mental illness, so caution is needed when interpreting its effects.*
25:37 *💼 Therapy remains the best evidence-based intervention for improving mental health, often complemented by multiple small interventions over time rather than one big solution.*
32:03 *🧠 The mind can become overwhelmed with imaginary scenarios and inner monologues, indicating a lack of control. Boredom avoidance is a key driving force behind the mind's behavior.*
34:08 *🧠 The mind seeks stimulation to gain energy, which is why it craves drama and engages in anxious thoughts.*
35:18 *💡 Anxiety can provide energy to the mind, leading to increased activation and restlessness.*
36:14 *🔄 Over-reliance on imagination can lead to detachment from reality and hinder real-life experiences.*
37:52 *🎮 Success in life requires a balance between thought and experience, not just excessive thinking.*
39:38 *💔 Excessive thinking can lead to emotional disconnection and negative feelings about oneself and life.*
44:24 *🤦♂️ Imagining success as a coping mechanism can prevent individuals from taking real action to achieve their goals.*
46:17 *🔍 25-year-old thinkers often exert more effort due to their constant mental struggle between imagination and reality.*
48:19 *🚗 Consistent effort, rather than sporadic bursts, is key to progress and success in life.*
53:27 *📈 Experience bridges the gap between imagination and reality, leading to better outcomes and adjusted expectations.*
55:47 *🌍 Annihilating unrealistic expectations allows individuals to perceive the world as it is and move forward effectively.*
57:11 *🚦 Recognize that transitioning into the real world can be challenging, but perseverance is key.*
57:39 *🧠 Be mindful of the thought patterns that lead to analysis paralysis; seek resolutions rather than endless thought loops.*
58:49 *🤔 When faced with uncertainty, take action to gather more data rather than endlessly analyzing with incomplete information.*
59:30 *💡 Cultivate activities that lead to resolution of thought, which ultimately frees you from the burden of overthinking.*
01:04:47 *🎮 Embrace failure as an inevitable part of growth and learning, rather than striving for unattainable perfection.*
01:13:55 *🔄 Breaking a cycle requires disrupting any of its steps; cycles are vulnerable and can be broken at multiple points.*
01:16:46 *🛋️ Spending time in solitude reduces the desperation for social interaction, making interactions less overwhelming.*
01:19:27 *⚔️ Active challenges chosen by individuals are less anxiety-inducing than passive challenges imposed upon them; actively choosing challenges can reduce feelings of overwhelm.*
01:22:04 *🚪 Solitude can be a choice, reducing the feeling of being overwhelmed and improving interactions.*
01:23:41 *🧠 Understanding the role of the thalamus in sensory processing and emotional reactions can help manage overwhelming situations.*
01:26:00 *🧩 Social isolation can lead to "social rust," affecting our ability to detect reassuring stimuli and potentially contributing to dementia.*
01:31:08 *🤔 Overthinking and self-absorption during social interactions hinder connection and relaxation.*
01:33:47 *🌟 Strategies for managing social anxiety include practicing solitude, taking control of overwhelming situations, and avoiding isolation.*
01:39:07 *🤝 Being present, engaging with others, and avoiding excessive phone use can enhance social interactions and alleviate anxiety.*
01:41:56 *💡 Avoiding repeated cycles of socializing and isolating can help acclimatize to social situations and improve overall comfort.*
01:49:00 *🎉 Social anxiety adds complexity by making us worry about how tasks are perceived by others, reducing our ability to engage fully.*
01:52:09 *🔄 Social anxiety creates an exponential problem: shifting focus from the task to others negatively impacts performance.*
01:53:51 *🎯 To overcome social anxiety, focus on the task at hand, practice in private, and enjoy what you're doing.*
01:57:41 *💡 Offer what you have with love and enjoyment, bypassing anxiety about how it will be received.*
02:00:03 *🔄 Practice, enjoy yourself, and focus on the task to overcome social anxiety and improve confidence in public interactions.*
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it's just so hard to try and have a minor fail that you recover for two weeks after and realize how much time you waste
yes its tough for sure. I think Dr.K talks about a mediation that's whole practice is to make something and than destroy it to practice letting go of attachment. I wish I could link you the lecture or what its called. but basically its a meditation/practice to get good at failing.
He’s also talked about how the mind tries to optimize to avoid “waste.” Wasting time, wasting effort, etc. But that leads to procrastination because we want a perfect solution so we don’t “waste” time. In reality, you’re making progress even if you spend 2 weeks recovering.
Exactly!!! Very well said, in those you were recovering so it wasn't a waste !@@skmarshall22
That's sounds more like going beyond your threshold than controled discomfort.
Op
57:43
My take on this isn't exactly like how Dr. K says it, but I'll try describing the feeling. Whenever I do math in a shit mood or like in bed or because I'm just trying to "push through", I'll start undertaking bad assumptions uncritically, usually guided by my emotion and hoping the problem becomes easier. Don't get me wrong; intuition and emotion are GOOD in math, but you have to verify it to avoid making dangerous mistakes. Summing over my lifetime it's probably costs thousands of hours of useless meandering when I'm in this state of uncritically letting thoughts through.
Similarly, I've noticed that when I'm in a good, productive mood, I've grown to the point where negative thoughts, I can brush off easy peasy, and focus back on the task at hand. But when I'm in a bad mood, I'll very frequently get into philosophical thought loops. Very enlightening to hear Dr. K talk about this as a natural thing the brain wants to do (avoid boredom), but it's also my previous bad experiences preying on my weak mental state and everything else Dr. K talks about.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, that in that state, even though you may think "logical" things, it's not actually going through a formal review process. That's what writing down your thoughts, talking with peers, etc. forces you to do, as otherwise it's just all nonsense.
Note I'm not saying *thoughts* are nonsense. When you're in a good mood, you can think good, logical thoughts, heck you can come up with great ideas in that state. And I'm not saying anything about the invalidity of negative thoughts; it's very possible that in your most depressed state you come to some grand revalation. I'm simply saying that chances are, when you're in a good mood, your thoughts go through some sort of actual review process, and when you're in a bad mood your thoughts are just your mind running in a treadmill - 99.999% of them will be useless.
Now how to actually take advantage of my bad mood phases? I dunno. I've just learned to not be as trusting about my thoughts during that time.
I remember going to a Tibetan Buddhist temple for the first time and one of the people said to me was that if I have a mental health issue, I have to see a licensed professional and don’t replace therapy with meditation
I'm glad you got that advice.
There are some dangerous groups who tell people to get off meds because meditation will fix everything.
It's one tool in the box, a very good tool but it cannot be applied to every problem.
Buddhism is perfect therapy if you do it right. Study with Watts and Dass. Many many years.
‘Meditation’ is way too broad of a term. Follow the noble eightfold path, or Patanjali’s eight limb yoga.
Vipassana is known as Theravada buddhism which is a very austere way of becoming enlightened. It’s known as ‘ the little vehicle’ in Mahāyāna buddhism because there’s no room for anyone (anything) else.
This was the first school of buddhism - buddhism grew from the teachings and eventually broadened to encompass many many techniques to achieve enlightenment. Yoga compliments buddhism. Vice versa. Theravada is southeast Asian Buddhist. They didn’t get Mahāyāna. Thich not hanh is theravaden but he did so much karmic work in his life that he became Mahāyāna.
The main qualm I have with theravaden buddhism is that it seems to be the classic “monk lifestyle”. If you goto a monastery and live like a monk for the rest of your life - that’s not Mahāyāna. Mahāyāna is being the monk while living in a big city, and trying to lead others out of avidya.
@@dnbjedi but no reasonable teacher should be informing newcomers to come off their meds.
It's dangerous. Monks are not doctors, and whilst they are wise regarding meditation they do not understand their pupils medical needs.
@dnbjedi this is dangerous advice. I would agree that years of buddhist practice can prevent years of suffering and disease later in life. If someone needs a heart transplant, you don’t bring them to the buddhist temple. Same if someone has mental disorder, you get them psychiatric help. They can give you practices that can change the course of your life through long periods of implementation, they’re not wizards
Strong belief that real healing is careful progress towards goals. Trying to escape maladaptions is mostly symptomatic relief but important for self control to prevent self sabotage, and setting up the success of reaching the intended goals.
Actually, a 31 year old drinker.
@RifleEyezreal. Spending majority of my 20’s thinking life would magically be how I wanted it to be at 30. But nothing is less true. Oh what I would do to be 25 again with the possibility to do things before I turned 30. Tbh I probably will think the same about now when I am 35 but its just so hard to accept that life hasn’t gone according to plan.
what would you do differently and what would you tell your young self?
I like the music in the intro. If I'm gonna listen to dr. K talk for 3 hours straight I feel like the relaxing music for a few minutes is also worth it.
I really enjoy that music, I actually wanted to know if anyone knew the name of it so I could listen to it on its own too
Same here, I really love it !
Look up the liyue OST from genshin impact.
It is meditation music
I have the same problem, and to me two spiritual practices have been bery useful to improve the situation: the thought control practice by Rudolf Steiner and the Concentration practice by his disciple Massimo Scaligero. They allow you to grow a major awareness of the movements of your mind and a better dominion on your thoughts. But the fundamental solution is, as the doctor said, to not let your prejudices about what you should be, how you should act and how things should go, treating them just as self-produced transient thoughts and acting instead. I wish the best for all the thinkers out there. We don't need to start our life again with our current knowledge, we could rejoice our second birth in any moment with that little extra determination. And we all have great potential, we all have refined to perfection thinking, imagination and maybe even intuition after all, and they are all very useful when coupled with experience. But do not daydream about this!
I spend every single day listening and watching to UA-cam, X, Spotify, etc. years of my life gone in a blink.
My memories are digital and my accomplishments are few and underwhelming. Pornography takes me 2 hours into the future in what feels like 5 minutes.
I think, I think a lot, too much. I’m 20 almost 21, so it’s not too late. It’s a constant spiraling into darkness, I’ll try my best to do what I need to do. I need to get out of my mind.
Time gets shorter and shorter the older you get. In 20 years you will remember this comment and you will reflect on all of your experiences the same way you are doing now.
Im the same age and i relate to this immensely i turn 21 this year as well and i feel like all ive been doing is watching youtube playing videogames and watching porn for the past 4 years. Im in such a shitty place in my mind that I desperately need to escape.
Although i think i might have found my passion ( i goddamn hope) and ive been trying to not wack it or watch porn. Im trying to workout everyday and am trying to not watch the addictive youtube shorts that ultimately make me get into my head more and overexposes me to all the terrible things in the world. Its hard and these changes are very recent but there HAS to be a change. Im sick of it and ive been comfortable too long. I hope one day you too can do the same get out of your head and change your life coz no one really can except us individually.
I hope i can look back at this comment and be in a better place in life
@@Duffyfactory I’m doing what I can to change. I got a job, I’m finally going to church like Ive always tell myself to do. I have a gym membership that I haven’t been using recently, I think I’ll have to follow your lead. Gym, at 9pm let’s fking do this!
guys, LEARN HOW TO PROGRAM. FUCKING LEARN IT AND MAKE IT YOUR LIFE GOAL.
because you still will be in front of your pc, but you will have a great purpose. you can’t realize how fucking cool that stuff is
this is the first time i’m watching a video from dr k. i check the box for almost every “attribute of the “25 yo thinker”. just turned 26 last month and it’s a little bittersweet hearing dr k’s explanation..kid me was ALWAYS daydreaming, always imagining a separate life, i only recently discovered how damaging that was in the long run bc i hid it well throughout my teens and most of uni. now im on the wrong side of 25 and i cant get out of my head most days, and it’s paralyzing. i want to live again. and i will!
As a 25-Year Old Thinker, this reminds me of a book I've always wanted to write "Lost in the Abstract"... Oh the irony...
haha, that is ironic for sure. good on ya for recognizing it tho
So basically, just like anything and everything else in life, don't quit, stick to it, and the only way to stick to it is to learn more about it. Adapt to it, embrace failures, they are weak points, also known as stepping stones that help you get to the next level... so to speak. My only problem is that I'm really checking out on life itself. I just have severe apathy. Full of dreams and goals, but not motivated by them because I truly deep down do not care about them, only the experiences, how I'll feel when I check that bucket list item off my list as I go on, and then reach the end game, with the bucket list completed, only to find my self back to square one...
"I have faith in you because of physics" love it!
49:20
that stuck with me too!
my advice to all 25 year old loners/thinkers:
- Loners/thinkers are good at building. Even though they only build inside of their mind. Inefficient and insular. Instead, start building outwardly. Working out, developing a good skillset or a precision hobby. I make 3d models, which allows me to interact my mind with the environment. Its a start.
- Anger. Try anger instead of sadness/depression. Its an emotion you can practice if you allow your mind to be pulled into that direction. Youd be surprised how motivating/addicting it can be.
In my opinion, the thinker sacrifices a first person perspective for a 3rd person perspective, better information synthesis but they lose touch with their own body. Their own perspective. That has physiological consequences. Working out is a very good way to regain access to your volitional abilities. You can lose motivation and stop working out sometimes, but building the habit in the first place makes it easier to jump back in later. Trying very hard semi-frequently is sometimes more accessible than trying a moderate amount constantly. Just gotta pay attention to yourself. Life is boring and pointless and were all gonnna die blah blah blah, but you still exist despite the fact you shouldnt. Exhausting mental resources to spiral inward towards the idea of nihilism seems counter-productive. The mind plays tricks on you, telling you that nothing is better than something, but the moment you start moving around and being productive, life suddenly starts to matter a lot more. Less numb? Probably a dopaminergic/adrenergic phenomenon. Just metaphysics i guess, our mind hyperadapting to the current context in the most energy efficient way possible. And i notice all the really productive people were either really happy or really angry... Gotta pick one. I chose anger because i couldnt justify happiness. Depression still occupies a high volume in my soul however. Bottom line... stagnation = death. Keep moving. Cant control yourself, you can only negotiate.
I’m 27 and I overthink . Thanks for making me overthink more with this video ☠️
The segment on the thinker comes across like we assume the person wanted/chose to be the thinker, but what if someone really hates losing an entire workday to a daydream of what could be? Usually I didn't go looking for a non-reality, it just manifests in the way, and now I have to tear it down to get back to my responsibilities. Gonna be real, in my experience it really sucks once an idea starts rolling. Trying to pick up an engineering task after stopping a multi-hour brain train rarely goes well without intense external pressure, which is also unpleasant.
Summary Part 1
Dr. K discusses the challenges faced by the "25-year-old thinker," a person trapped in a cycle of excessive thinking, imagination, and analysis paralysis. The summary covers the following key points:
Introduction:
- Meditation practices can be transformative but also risky if not practiced properly.
- Dr. K cautions against intensive meditation retreats for those with acute mental illness, emphasizing the importance of moderation and safety.
The Mind's Craving for Stimulation:
- The mind hates boredom and constantly seeks stimulation through thoughts, imagination, and even anxiety.
- The "25-year-old thinker" has mastered fueling their mind with imaginary scenarios, events, and relationships, creating an artificial reality.
Disconnection from Reality:
- Excessive thinking disconnects the individual from real-world experiences and personal growth.
- Relying solely on imagination leads to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when facing reality.
- This cycle perpetuates negative emotions and further reliance on imagination as a coping mechanism.
Analysis Paralysis and Quitting:
- The "25-year-old thinker" frequently starts and stops endeavors, slamming the "mental accelerator" and then the "brakes," leading to analysis paralysis.
- This pattern requires more effort than consistent progress, as the mind justifies quitting by convincing itself that "things are always better in my head."
Breaking the Cycle:
- The key is to annihilate unrealistic expectations and gather real-world data through experience and practice.
- Acceptance of potential consequences and embracing imperfection are essential to move forward.
- Resolution of thought comes from action, acceptance, and gathering objective data, not further analysis.
Data Collection and Perception:
-Our data collection can be biased by pre-existing beliefs, traumas, and mental states like anxiety.
-Refining perception and interpreting data objectively is a crucial skill for personal growth.
In summary, Dr. K provides insights into the mindset of the "25-year-old thinker" and offers practical strategies to break free from excessive thinking, embrace reality, and achieve personal growth through experience, acceptance, and objective data collection.
I haven't watched the video but it seems like it shares some similar themes as from the book from Dostoevsky called "Notes from the Underground."
thank you bro, really needed some clarification on the data collection segment, you're a g
Thanks!!
This concept of the 25-year old thinker is absolutely alien for me. Either I was them at some point and I moved on so far beyond, but I always kept on. I've been failing all my life. I sometimes needed breaks, sometimes to take a breather, sometimes to take a step back, sometimes I needed help but I have always started going on. Or something happened that made me go on. Or I became bored. Maybe it's just because I have ADHD and my inner life can be extremely influenced by my outer life. So when I do not shower for 2 days it doesn't feel good and I need to change it or else I'll feel bad physically.
Maybe this is something you experience when you're completely out of touch with your body and with the real, physical world. It also sounds like something that you can develop when you have no existential threats, no aspirations and live an absolutely frictionless life as an adult. But that doesn't mean that you have had to have a frictionless life. This can also happen if you've been told the world is shit and you've been indoctrinated, like with incels. I could probably think of many more examples. Ok like when your parents decide what you're gonna do with your life and you feel like you have no agency, which is painful in it's own way.
Anyway, it sounds concerning and therapy would probably be a good idea to have while you're starting to do stuff in the real world to lubricate the motor.
Legit this was me, I turned 26 and my modus operandi is just do it.
You want that? Work for it and do it.
You want to achieve that goal? Do it.
I been sitting for too long.
Schedule those doctors and dental appointments, get that affordable dream car, apply to that job you want but aren't qualified for, ask that person on a date, move out your parent house, get that overtime, JUST DO SHIT.
BUY THAT TELESCOPE, FIX YOUR OWN CAR
Within reason ofc, not saying be impulsive, but those things you always wanted but never did....DO IT. I'm almost 30, the time is now.
Youth is out past 40, you're officially old then
definitely me at 22--recovery has been thething that helped fight these habits. slaa & al anon--thank you healthygamer for taking this on 🙏
At some point I did try to break the circle of social anxiety. I enjoy solitude a great deal, I am present in conversations and I have completely stopped overthinking but nothing changes. I want to talk but words don't come out, my whole body feels awkward and I retreat.
Btw that "creepy" Dr K's impression is literally how I talk and there is nothing I can do about it
I empaphise with your story, I want you to think if you actually want to talk to people or if you want to talk to people as a means to an end.
@@plantidentificationnewzeal9032 sounds like a bs for me. If I talk I just talk. If at some point my talk serves as a means to an end should I stop immediately to reflect on it? There is a goal to almost everything in life anyway.
@@andybreadley429 In trying to not overthink you are overthinking, the goal is to let things be, let the way you feel come and accept that you will feel that way. Only then will you be free from your emotions. Try not to react to your feelings and if you do that’s ok, just try again and remember that in judging your reactions you will create more reactions.
@@samysue10 I am already free from overthinking, what is next?
@@andybreadley429 sounds like BS to you and sounds like being sound minded to me, I don't think that's the only time you should reflect on your decisions either.
A psychopath is someone who uses people for self gain.
This is me to a T overthinking, under doing. I live in my head in multiple day dreams based off of my favorite anime and stories where I self insert myself, have an imaginary boyfriend, and an imaginary life where I can be anything I want to be and imagine it so clearly, that in my real life I strive for nothing. I'm turning 25 this year, this video really addressed what I understand about myself, but have been putting off fixing for myself. Quite literary, I need to be a do-er, I need more action and application in my life. I think about the one Andy Warhol quote where he says something along the lines of keep "busy busy busy". Thank you for the vid Dr. K
About perils of intense meditation, there's an interesting text, "I believed the hype and did mindfulness meditation for dumb reasons-- now I'm trying to reverse the damage"
> I really thought that I was simply exploring new territory and learning static truths about myself. I did not realize what a dynamic, feedback-driven process messing with your attention is. I wasn’t just clarifying my attention like you would clean rust off a bike chain; I was deeply reshaping my attention at multiple levels. In short, I was teaching myself not to get habituated to stimuli and not to pattern-match via sensory deprivation, in particular by depriving myself of my default mode network inner monologue stream (“letting go of thinking”). Not habituating or pattern-matching are oft-exhorted goals because of typical mind fallacy: it’s common not to be nuanced enough. Many people believe that you can’t make too few assumptions, but it’s not true. We need heuristics for speed and to make room for the things that actually require nuanced attention. I felt the effects of reducing habituation and not pattern-matching across many domains, from verbal thinking to visual and auditory processing. Similarly, it's common to be excessively involved in "ego," or a self-image or self-narrative, and to benefit from loosening yours up and not seeing it as so solid. But when you attack your sense of self and try to train your brain not to build it up, you can lose things like proprioception and self-recognition.
> One of the general things that mindfulness meditation aims to do is teach the practioner to perceive sense data more directly and less filtered through preconceived ideas of what it is we're sensing. The biggest harm of reducing the tendency to pre-filter input through concepts is the processing time that it takes to bind all the shapes or sounds or ideas I’m hearing into something my brain can use. (...) I just changed my graphics settings to be stupid high and now the game runs slow. I don’t pattern match quickly enough and it makes my thinking slow and contributes to a foggy brain feeling. I have trouble chunking information in my working memory, at least compared to how I used to be.
> If you meditate casually, don't freak out. I was meditating a lot. But please think twice about becoming a more serious meditator.
> But when you attack your sense of self and try to train your brain to not build it up...
That sounds to me like a misapplication of mindfulness meditation. I wonder if the author knows this or if this was actually their goal.
I have to imagine you need to go extreme into meditation to get there, hard to imagine any average person doing this at all. I also have to wonder to what extent pre-existing conditions or predispositions might be involved, ie is this going to happen to everyone or only a certain selection of people
Meditation is the solution to the spurious notion that everything can be solved with thinking. Believe it or not, it took quite a lot to get here. Look at western philosophy. Any time they use the word meditation they are talking about thinking. It's a big deal, but it's complicated. It's not about rejecting thoughts, sensations, feelings, etc. Even if there is some state to achieve in doing meditation, being goal-oriented such that you are sitting down with intent to reach said state thwarts the whole thing. It is not about dulling the mind, but making it fertile, etc
I was super into meditation starting at 23. I was good at it (as in...I could get myself out of the way easily). I had a kundalini awakening gone wrong - another one of the things that can happen. Awakening too much shakti in your body, and your emotional body being so clogged up with knots and traumas it can't allow the energy to pass. The scariuest experience of my life bar none. Specially considering no spiritual teachers spoke about this possibility.
Be objective people. It's all about learning about ENERGY. When we meditate, along with other parts of our body, we mess with energy.
People often get swept up in others. Meditating because your circle of friends desires ego death is a bad idea. Furthermore, "beware of unearned wisdom" is what Dr. K really should be saying. Intense meditation requires a lot of work to integrate, and 95% of people aren't ready for that.
As the 25 yo thinker addressed...
I agree that the solution to the madness is to just do the things you're thinking of ... but I truly do not see the avenues to do those things around me. I graduated college and moved a year ago, and since then the largest social avenues I can find for people in my age group involves bars, spending money and hook ups, and I literally don't enjoy those things as much (if at all) as I enjoy game nights, making things from scratch, hiking, friendship, etc, for which I haven't found any groups.
So I feel like the thinker's core struggle, that being disconnection and isolation, is not necessarily an individual problem. It sucks.
But regardless it IS crucial to not quit. Not going to find those things by quitting either.
I’ve never met a 25-year old thinker who graduated from college in a prolific field (medicine, law, engineering). In my experience, this archetype stems from folks who never wanted to choose college or go down an educationally hard path. They kinda just wanted to pave their own way, be their own boss. But when you opt out of education, you are essentially a master of nothing. You don’t learn discipline through deadlines enforced by university, you don’t meet the actual intellectuals through university events (professors, industry leaders invited by your school). You’re trying to figure it out alone or through other people in the same thought bubble and you get the blind leading the blind.
Education provides purpose and forces you to live up to expectations to become the master of something. I’m in medical school, and I’ve never been stuck in this position.
Well I'm going to offer a differing perspective, I have graduated from university with a computer science degree (unless you don't consider that a prolific field) and I definitely am this kind of person. I was always going to go to university, never had any problems in school and basically had no problems at university either until it came to the end of my studies and I had to approach professors/assistant for thesis projects and basically had to advertise myself and my interests. Mix of thinking that I'm worse than other students and feeling inadequate, social anxiety, not knowing what I want to focus on and not knowing what job I would actually want to have after graduating. Quickly spired out of control because "I should have graduated already" and feeling behind thus making me overthink even more. I did eventually graduate but it was all a giant waste of time.
For me following deadlines and handling tasks with clear goals given to you is the easy part, there is no ambiguity and unavoidable consequences with a clear timeline so there is external motivation, I might procrastinate but I have never missed a deadline. The problems for me start when there are no immediate consequences for overthinking and basically not doing anything to avoid risking rejection/mistakes etc. even though I know I'll regret the wasted time more in the end.
I had a really terrifying realization. Today I woke up and closed my eyes, almost as if I'm going back to sleep again. I saw in first perspective of me, getting out of my bed and untying the mosquito net from both sides. Few seconds later I wake up for real. And none of it actually happened. And I.. was really scared because this is exactly how I lived. And now that I woke up, I have no energy to go through what I just imagined, and when I got out of my bed I just did as I imagined except it didn't feel as I thought it would feel (I wanted myself to screw up somewhere so that I can experience what dr k said. Unfortunately none of that happened.)
I genuinely have no hope for myself anymore, mostly because I never liked myself for as long as I can remember. Nearly 20 years from the age of 5.
10 years from now you will realise that you haven't hated yourself for years and didn't notice, you will look back on today's you and love you for powering through the hard times.
I don't mean this as empty platitudes, but you're on the right path if you're opening yourself up to new ideas like this video.
Just want to say I too was depressed between the ages of 5 and 25, stemming from social anxiety, negative thought loops, and trust issues. Now at 30 I'm incredibly happy and have been for several years, without any major life changes occurring. Keep persevering and try your best to live in line with your values, and you will gradually home in on what you truly want to give and get from life. The seemingly-important-but-actually-totally-unimportant shit just melts away at some point, and once you have some self-confidence, it slightly improves every aspect of life, and that feeds back into itself. The longer you suffer, the more grateful you'll feel when it finally becomes manageable. I don't regret any of the time I 'wasted', because it was necessary to make me who I am today. Not trying to gloat, I just really empathise with your position and how hopeless it can feel from within the darkness. All the best.
This man is both a blight and a blessing to my life. I misapply his advice and suffer, then follow other advice and fix my life for 2 weeks.
32:04 25 yr old thinker portion starts
I find that as I become more active in putting my thoughts to action my 25 year old thinker problem does not go away. It’s as though I just think faster than my action keeps up, and even when taking action my mind is preoccupied with another thought or new idea. It’s as though I can do all my tasks while mentally preoccupied and the end result feels the same as when I exclusively think without taking action
Self fulfilling profecy maybe?
I've never heard a doctor swear so much while explaining things.
That's how I know I can trust him lmao
@@SamFokkerfactss
@@SamFokker exactly lmao
That's the mark of a good doctor. Take it from someone who has multiple chronic illnesses that affect EVERY system in her body. I been AROUND in doctor land and if anyone says it's gross or impolite I cuss, they're fired on the spot.
Humor is also a necessary component.
Humor is necessary to deal with shit. Something or somebody has gotta deal with the shit at some point 😂 @@maggie6152
I used to be an exact caricature of the thinker. Honestly thought I was superior for it but struggled to figure out how people were doing better than me and why I was depressed. Fortunately a lot social stimuli, a weird situationship, some instances of weed, getting a job, and an international trip with my friend all in 2022 got me realizing my expectations of reality are closer than I think but also I need to work harder. And then the last 1 1/2 year has been lowering my expectations while working even harder and so I feel like my life actually started October 2022.
I can talk to new people comfortably and joke with them, I’m not lustful as much, my screen time is like 1-3 hours a day, I’m not depressed or anxious, and I feel like I have a lot more control and a better self image.
I can make videos to break down exactly what I did and what I do to maintain my brain from spiraling down, but major point, it is a difficult, iterative, imperfect, and long process but it’s 5000% worth it.
38:33 this is so true.. through the past I've had to deal with isolation over family members that were unpleasant to say the least. One of the ways that I coped was by becoming a deep thinker.
Well it has its uses doing it all the time usually causes me to not enjoy the present.
The following feels relevant re trying to figure out how to do something while avoiding possible negative consequences, from "Multiagent Models of Mind" - "Craving, suffering, and predictive processing" on LessWrong:
> Craving seems to act in part by creating self-fulfilling prophecies; **making you strongly believe that you are going to achieve something, so as to cause you to do it. The stronger the craving, the stronger the false beliefs injected into your consciousness. This may warp your reasoning in all kinds of ways: updating to believe an unpleasant fact may subjectively feel like you are allowing that fact to become true by believing in it,** incentivizing you to come up with ways to avoid believing in it. a craving for some outcome X tends to implicitly involve at least two assumptions:
> 1. achieving X is necessary for being happy or avoiding suffering
> 2. one cannot achieve X except by having a craving for it
> Both of these assumptions are false, but subsystems associated with craving have a built-in bias to selectively sample evidence which supports these assumptions, making them frequently feel compelling. (...) for the purposes of this discussion, you really only need to know two things [about Predictive Processing]:
> 1. According to PP, the brain is constantly attempting to find a model of the world (or hypothesis) that would both explain and predict the incoming sensory data. For example, if I upset you, my brain might predict that you are going to yell at me next. If the next thing that I hear is you yelling at me, then the prediction and the data match, and my brain considers its hypothesis validated. If you do not yell at me, then the predicted and experienced sense data conflict, sending off an error signal to force a revision to the model.
> 2. Besides changing the model, **another way in which the brain can react to reality not matching the prediction is by changing reality.** For example, my brain might predict that I am going to type a particular sentence, and then fulfill that prediction by moving my fingers so as to write that sentence. PP goes so far as to claim that this is the mechanism behind all of our actions: a part of your brain predicts that you are going to do something, and then you do it so as to fulfill the prediction.
> (...) **Craving creates constraints about what the world should be like, and the brain tries to find an action which would fulfill all of the constraints, while also taking into account everything else that it knows about the world. Suffering/unsatisfactoriness emerges when all of the constraints are impossible to fulfill,** either because achieving them takes time, or because the brain is unable to find any scenario that could fulfill all of them even in theory.
> Let’s suppose that I have broken an important promise that I have made to a friend. I feel guilty about this, and want to confess what I have done. We might say that I have a craving to avoid the feeling of guilt, and the associated craving subsystem sends a prediction to my consciousness: I will stop feeling guilty. My brain searches for a possible world that would fulfill the provided constraints, and comes up with the idea of just admitting the truth of what I have done. It predicts that if I were to do this, I would stop feeling guilty over not admitting my broken promise. This satisfies the constraint of not feeling guilty. **However, as my brain further predicts what it expects to happen as a consequence, it notes that my friend will probably get quite angry. This triggers another kind of craving: to not experience the feeling of getting yelled at. This generates its own goal/prediction: that nobody will be angry with me. This acts as a further constraint for the plan that the brain needs to find.**
> **As the constraint of “nobody will be angry at me” seems incompatible with the plan of “I will admit the truth”, this generates an error signal, driving down the probability of this plan.** My brain abandons this plan, and then considers the alternative plan of “I will just stay quiet and not say anything”. This matches the constraint of “nobody will be angry at me” quite well, driving down the error signal from that particular plan/constraint mismatch… but then, if I don’t say anything, I will continue feeling guilty. The mismatch with the constraint of “I will stop feeling guilty” drives up the error signal, causing the “I will just stay quiet” plan to be abandoned. **At worst, my mind may find it impossible to find any plan which would fulfill both constraints, keeping me in an endless loop of alternating between two unviable scenarios.**
> **it may feel like if I just focus on a particular craving enough, thinking about my desired outcome hard enough will make it true.** Recall that under the PP framework, goals happen because a part of the brain assumes that they will happen, after which it changes reality to make that belief true. So **focusing really hard on a craving for X makes it feel like X will become true, because the craving is literally rewriting an aspect of my subjective reality to make me think that X will become true. Conversely, letting go of this craving, may feel like it is literally making the undesired outcome more real, rather than like I am coming more to terms with reality.** This is most obvious in cases where one has a craving for an outcome that is impossible for certain, such as in the case of grieving about a friend’s death. **Even after it is certain that someone is dead, there may still be persistent thoughts of if only I had done X, with an implicit additional flavor of if I just want to have done X really hard, things will change, and I can’t stop focusing on this possibility because my friend needs to be alive.**
(...)
> As your mind predicts the likely consequences of taking painkillers, it notices that in this simulation, the constraint of “I am not in pain” gets fulfilled, driving down the error signal between the hypothesis and the “I am not in pain” constraint. However, **if the brain could suppress the craving-for-pain-relief merely by imagining a scenario where the pain was gone, then it would never need to take any actions: it could just hallucinate pleasant states. Helping keep it anchored into reality is the fact that simply imagining the painkillers has not done anything to the pain signal itself: the imagined state does not match your actual sense data.** There is still an error signal generated between the mismatch of the imagined “I have taken painkillers and am free of pain” scenario, and the fact that the pain is not gone yet.
> **Craving acts by actively introducing false beliefs into one’s reasoning. If craving could just do this completely uninhibited, rewriting all experience to match one’s desires, nobody would ever do anything: they would just sit still, enjoying a craving-driven hallucination of a world where everything was perfect.** (...)
> There are processes which are neutrally just trying to figure out the best action; and when those processes hit upon particularly good or bad outcomes, **craving is formed in an attempt to force the system into repeating or avoiding those outcomes in the future.** Suppose that you are in a situation where the best possible course of action only has a 10% chance of getting you through alive. If you are in a non-craving-driven state, you may focus on getting at least that 10% chance together, since that’s the best that you can do. **In contrast, the kind of behavior that is typical for craving is realizing that you have a significant chance of dying, deciding that this thought is completely unacceptable, and refusing to go on before you have an approach where the thought of death isn’t so stark.** Both systems have their upsides and downsides. If it is true that a 10% chance of survival really is the best that you can do, then you should clearly just focus on getting the probability even that high. **The craving which causes trouble by thrashing around is only going to make things worse.**
> Suppose that you have a strong craving to experience a feeling of accomplishment: this means that the craving is strongly projecting a constraint of “I will feel accomplished” into your planning, **causing an error signal if you consider any plan which does not fulfill the constraint. If you are thinking about a multistep plan which will take time before you feel accomplished, it will start out by you not feeling accomplished. This contradicts the constraint of “I will feel accomplished”, causing that plan to be rejected in favor of ones that bring you even some accomplishment right away.**
I relate to not being interested in a career
I’ve never been treated well in schools or the workforce so they won’t see me do more than the bare minimum.
agreed with this.. I’m trying to hopefully break this cycle as of right now
Same, despite all my efforts to present well, be polite, truthful and conscientious I just can't hold pace with the neurotypical people in the work place. Needing to be hyper vigilant because of my adhd made me a mess and burnt me out after 6 years in my field at only 27
after watching this I may not need to watch another dr k video ever again. This one was so valuable for me it contained so many good lessons and practical examples. So thankful for how compassionate, wise, and insightful Dr. k is
If you don't resonate with the solutions in this video, another option for approaching these problems is to give up on the concept of having dignity. We all seem to think we need dignity all the time, even though it doesn't make us more likable or happier, and the situations where it makes us more effective are very limited. Literally every time I tell people one of my key skills is having no dignity, they instantly become more likely to want to be my friend. (Admittedly I don't spend a lot of time in boardrooms or courtrooms.)
Go out and be ridiculous. Lean into it. I promise you it will be fine. If you like you can even practice by going to a different city for a while.
"Dignity in some of its modern usages has come to mean the right of a person to be valued and respected for their own sake, and to be treated ethically." yeah lol if I give up on dignity the abusive people who seek for a target to exploit will certainly like me, but I don't think I want to live that kinda life
think you mean to say give up pride. give up caring abt the opinions of others. cause peoples thoughts really don’t matter.
people have thousands of thoughts everyday. and there’s billions of people alive. so a thought is really worthless.
Maybe not pride, it could be the person is good at managing shame
That is the worst idea possible. Civilization would collapse if everyone thought like this. Completely selfish way of thinking.
I’m turning 23 next month and I’m already on a fast track to becoming the 25yr old thinker, if I’m not already. I’ve been semi aware of these problems but this analogy really helped put it into words. Thank you!:)
25 and im checkng out of life! I can't function anymore, I don't know how to, I feel like im 12. Job? can't work, Gf? im depressed, Socal connections? none, im an asshole. Im too weak for all of this
Feels. It's rough.
I think that biggest problem or irony is the message that one needs to pull themselves up, without any direction in how to do that, or a direction to look to for instruction.
@@ChaoticNeutralMatthe has videos on all kinds of things that go into more detail on many of these topics. Livestreams give a big overview more often than not.
Don't give up, start small and walk with yourself, it'll get better little by little. Stay strong and keep going for yourself, your loved ones and community, you're worth more than you know.
Sounds like you're strong enough to have come this far
@@roomtospace I already made my mind up don't be trying to convince me now
This is absolutely amazing and it’s 100% me. Thank you so much, this might have saved my life. I’m not going to forget this. I’m going to pass this on to others. Thanks Dr. K❤
What I don’t understand is some of the most respected people of all time fit in this “25 year old thinker” personality type. They are just able to capture this thinking in one way or another for art/science or some other way. So I don’t see this personality as necessarily a bad thing, just more of a stepping stone.
There's a difference between the myth of these people and the reality.
People who do great things turn their thoughts into action, the drudgery of the work gets left out of the myth.
@@DisgruntledPeasant absolutely, I am just saying that villainizing thought as nothing more than a roadblock is a bit reductive. If this were the case no books would’ve ever been written, no philosophy ever discussed, no art, and no curiosity. There is a balance that needs to be found, but say the 25 year old thinker “sucks at life” is very reductive in my opinion. I think they more are just living differently, which is okay.
@@piewert787 i didn't take any of this as villainising thought, rather that if the only thing you do is think you get stuck.
I've not even started the video properly, was ready to kinda analyse myself but the intro musics got me to relaxed 😅. Thankkyou for grounding me, I think it's what I needed right now. 🙌🏻
Phew, he's not talking to me. I'm 36.
Phew he's not talking to me, I never think.
That first half dialogue was fantastic. I think parts of it do apply to me, but im a little in between in that I've fixed some of those behaviors and thoughts, but the strings are still there. Awesome. Life changing advice for a generation of dudes who seem stuck.
I'm in pain; this is literally me.
The physics analogy makes so much sense
I love how he explains things so much man, it just makes sense
Go from an 'overthinker' to an 'overliver'.
Put those thoughts to work.
Used to be a "thinker" then I realized: If you think about life too much, you'll forget to live it.
Holy crap, I’m exactly 25. Love this video!!
I feel like I have a lot to share that might help about this, and it's quite different from what Dr. K is offering.
I can't speak for this archetype, but I know that I've spent a lot of time thinking, I've sacrificed two degrees, I've distanced myself from friends and family for over 3 years, I've worked in fast food (and still do), I'm 26, and I have no ambition for a career -- which funnily enough makes me somewhat qualified to talk about this? Thinking has become more and more prevalent in my life, and I've been waiting and hoping for some kind of a bursting through the cloud moment where I figure it all out, and somewhat surprisingly actually I feel a fair bit as though it's actually come. But first things first is it's weird to talk about this as though 'I'm fixed now and now I get to bestow you with my ultimate truth', that's not what this is. With any new idea I've had about how to be happier with my life, it has been as though I was desperately trying to gauge if 'maybe **now** I'm normal', constantly testing the waters for if I've kind done enough analysis to have *completed* my problems and getting excited about the prospect that maybe I have, but I don't like doing that anymore, it feels *incredibly* uncomfortable -- so that's not what I'm saying (which you know is one of those paradoxes in life that I think signals something actually good).
There's a template to a lot of problems in my life that looks like this. I'll think and think and think about what's valuable to me, and for the most part I'll suffer in failing to find an answer that resonates with me, just feeling lost and confused. But, occasionally I'll actually manage to stumble across something that seems to motivate me. I'll take this little nugget of inspiration and think and think and think about how to work towards this said thing, what I can do to really fulfill these ambitions of mine, and I'll take great pleasure in exploring all of the options and figuring the details of it out, what it is more specifically that I'm aiming for, whether there's a broader understanding that explains it better, etc. An example of this would be, I've been very temperamentally interested in languages, and I've spent a great deal of time thinking about how to learn languages best. I've reasoned that trying to 'study' grammar and vocabulary etc. doesn't make much sense to me, particularly because this is something you never did as a child to learn your native language, and you're native in it for christ's sake -you were an expert at learning languages- so I've been very skeptical that somehow this becomes applicable as an adult. I came up with all these observations of important things to do to learn them like 'don't just try to translate it into your native language in your head because that's not what natives do so why would you do it?', or put differently 'stop trying to guess at the meaning of things, it's ok to just pay attention to the sounds for now', 'don't try to speak the sounds of a language you can't even mentally recall the sound of, because you're not going to be able to tell how english you sound', and the list goes on...
I do all of this analysis, and I love it, but then -inevitably- the motivation to learn these things wanes, and I'm stranded yet again. Particularly for me, I've questioned whether I've just been pretending to be interested in this stuff the whole time, and now the charade is up and I'm actually just fundamentally lacking passion for life, and I've also thought that maybe I have ADHD because I gradually seem to get more and more resentful towards picking up where I left off until I resent the entire thing and want to give up altogether, and I've then resented myself for not just being able to carry on analysing this stuff. Looking back, it always seems that I enjoyed analysing this stuff up until the point it started making claims about what I ought to then actually act upon, up until it started saying: 'maybe actually talking to people who speak a different language would be a good idea', or 'maybe at the very least you should listen to content of people just speaking their language'. At most, I could stomach an hour of actually acting out these th'oughts' before I got so uncomfortable I knew something was up and I'd have to stop, but I seemed to hate myself endlessly for even needing to.
This example could really almost be copy pasted for everything I've tried to do in life, for example: reading, going to the gym, learning to cook, studying psychology, studying physics, studying music, learning guitar, learning keyboard, learning about history, learning programming, pursuing a career in data analysis, gardening, cycling, learning about ecology, learning Spanish, learning Russian, learning Chinese, learning about fashion, learning about anatomy, etc. Those are just the ones I can think of at the moment. Every one of these has had a kind of hope associated with it, hope I've tried to identify with them, only to find myself drifting away from it and hating myself for it.
Most of the analysis led me to a place of 'you actually just need to be genuinely interested in this stuff in order to learn it as deeply and insightfully as you aspire to learn it', and yet I for the most part just wasn't. The same is true for speaking to people, I analysed and paid enough attention of my experiences to find my way to realising that I just needed to *want* to talk to people in order to be sufficiently curious about them to have engaging conversation, and open enough to actually allow them to speak things different from what I'd say, and yet I absolutely had no space for appreciating that maybe, just maybe, I actually just didn't want to talk to them -- the implications were too awful and too great. I often clung to and puppeteered the long-dead corpse of interests and inspiration because I *needed* them to lead me somewhere. I fucking *needed* it to evolve into a full plane of interests, and particularly into a successful career, so that I'm not a failure, that I can finally make something of my life and not be ashamed of how shit my life is. But even when I pursued things that I felt tried to circumvent the need for it to lead to a successful career, as with my pursuit of languages and music, I quickly lost motivation precisely because I couldn't seem to afford to be interested in these things yet.
What's changed for me has been really being aware of this desperation for things to work out, and the paradoxical costs of this desperation. Maybe it's OK if they don't, and weirdly maybe only through being OK with it not working out will the desperation clear and open up the space for genuine passion. Then what happens is you're so used to thinking this stuff that you might take those words and think them deliberately, like instructions in your head, instructions that you're trying to carry out *because* you're so desperate for them to aid you in your quest to betterment. I think it's just anxiety. We're so anxious about needing our lives to look a certain way that confusingly it closes off the opportunity for other feelings that might actually motivate us to make our lives better.
Eh, reading it back, I'm not particularly proud of what i've written here but I'll post it regardless. There's just too much to say in one comment unless you want a literal novel. It really belongs to conversation rather than exposition, but hopefully you find something useful in all this.
I practiced meditation for 9 months before experiencing a sort of disassociation coupled with a feeling like my gut was being torn open. The sensation ended when I would get up, walk, and place my hands on my body. What on earth was this. It didn’t just happen once. I mostly gave up on meditation because of this. I can do shorter sessions and haven’t reached that kind of bodily sensation since I stopped for a few years. I would like to meditate again but the feeling wasn’t something I was able to just sit back and observe. I had a valence emotion of deep terror and sense of being unsafe.
The most helpful thing I learned when I was young was this simple phrase:
If you don’t like something, change it.
If it can’t be changed (eg your height), learn to accept it.
Works wonders as the challenge to action is always present, less the anxiety for things that can’t be changed. When we act, we gain experience. As we gain experience, the scenarios we run through our head become more realistic, thus can be successfully brought to fruition.
The best place to begin this journey is “pick ONE thing about your character that you don’t like and change it”. Formulate a plan, take active steps, and do it. Assess results, adjust plan as needed, and keep going.
Achieving success in areas where you do have a lot of control helps to build confidence to act in situations where you have less control.
This video is so great. Dr. K hits the nail on the head for so many things that I feel are relatively unique for young people growing up online & in gaming. Really forward thinking.
I can't believe I never connected these feelings with how I have 1,000s of hours in Dota 2 solo bot games. I've been seeing a therapist for a while now, but they never relate as much as Dr K does.
Reliving my life sounds like a horrible kind of hell. Have to suffer through all the bs I dealt with as a kid? No thanks.
Meditation retreats and safety - meditation retreats will not help with acute issues of depression and (this seems obvious in hindsight) - social isolation. A friend (bipolar, emotionally chaotic and damaging family life) ended themselves shortly after a retreat.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither knows victory nor defeat."
When I feel like a 25 YO thinker just need to read this. Hope it helps someone
@Unknown Human
I saw your comment in the stream chat, and ironically, I was once asked about MBTI by a friend. Because I've done some research on the topic, particularly on the NERIS model, I might have some insights. From what I've gathered on their website, there doesn't seem to be a solid theoretical foundation behind the tool. It appears that they've mainly used Jung's typology as a basis, without proper psychometric research. Instead, they seem to have employed the Big Five model and data, and then fit it into the 16 predefined types. The Big Five Model is quite robust and popular, with a dedicated questionnaire, which would likely yield more accurate results than something forced to fit predefined types.
Overall, in psychology, dimensional models are replacing typological ones due to their flexibility and better ability to describe individuals. There's also an article critiquing the MBTI that raises valid points: "Should You Trust the Myers-Briggs Personality Test" by Laith Al-Shawaf in Aeromagazine.
Oh, I guess I can not find the guy.
What’s most likely to happen is you go up to a group to introduce yourself and they just ignore you or they look at you like you’re annoying them.
overthinking wont matter when you're jobless and starving bc the economy is beyond screwed up, or it wont matter if you work your body into oblivion and still cant make ends meet because you simply dont get paid your worth
Exactly, I became a “thinker” because the job/survival requires it, friends and family are in the same boat with their job hours. Not even mentioning 3rd places or urban planning, but everything costs money and time along with experiences especially without direction or help for planning against people trying to make ends meet taking advantage of others. I wish Dr. K would acknowledge that people’s coping mechanisms and rampant ADHD/ “thinker” are a result of reality and not just people’s expectations of it being too different. That maybe people desire change with no one in support to help do so independently nor otherwise
Screw all that. Make your own worth. Don't depend on others to make it for you. Or make yourself more valuable and others will recognize it naturally.
@@TheWasthereonce been there done that, no one gave a shit and still dont
@@TheWasthereonce We shouldn’t strive to make ourselves worthy for anyone else but ourselves sure but people are still needed to help cultivate qualities and give proper advice for choices or guidance
@@DJIronChef Does that include yourself?
I also had “not very good”experiences with psychotherapy. I had been to three therapists of different backgrounds. I felt that each of them had helped me to some extent, but there’s limitations in what they can do. They can never resonate with me or understand my struggles fully, as they probably were never sick in the same way I did. But after a few years, I now somehow understand the whole situation better. I realized that “when you want something to work, you should do it on your own” and if someone else offers help, it’s a bonus, not their responsibility to do so.
I watch inception a day before yesterday for the 3rd time . Recently ive been into this changing mindset , mind stuff , psychology , yoga , and this genre of stuff . After watching inception where, how ideas can build but can also burn a person is depicted so well , actually scared me to even think anything cause I was scared a thought might slip into an idea and then this idea would spread like virus to ruin me . Like how potential and impactful thoughts can be . And today Dr.K talks about the potential side effects of meditation , editing the source code and stuff . Thats timing 😅
See how powerful your mind is? Get out there and use what you’ve got to make a good life for yourself.
This video was great 💯 Happy we’re able to have these conversations!
For me, my meditation never led to negative side effects, but I had the Buddhas teachings that included morality and wisdom training in addition to meditation. I faced a lot of darkness, but I always felt the Buddhist Path guided me to the most positive effects. I know that’s not for everyone, but secular Buddhism is a thing if you’re worried about superstition.
Some types of meditation are harmful to some people with anxiety and/or depression
Im an ex 25 year old thinker. Now im a 27 year old meditator. Still have thinker moments but they are now much more enjoyable and productive.
damn I fill all 2 criteria, can't wait for next year where I'll be cured of being 25
Love you Dr.K thanks for all you do hope you and your family have an amazing year!
19:25
So... Let me get this straight. The average body temperature is 37'C.
If their body temperature drops to 35'C, they get hypothermia.
You're telling me that these people had a body temperature of 29'C... And were alive?
Come on man...
Haha... It's so easy to forget the principle of just "don't give up".
I spent the past 4 years doing way too much programming for my own good, and sure, maybe spending weeks tracking down stupid bugs isn't the most efficient way to learn, but hell it was fun, and damn did I learn a lot.
I've been on and off trying to learn some more theory in my own time, but I kept getting stuck. So now the book I ordered 7 months ago has just been sitting there, dusting. Such a simple reminder to just not give up; even if I'm struggling to understand the most basic of 2 pages today gotta remember that we can just try tommorow.
I feel like if you've never been taught this or never taught yourself it, it's so, so easy to forget that just trying over and over again is a good way to maintain momentum, even when things are hard. Even if you "fail" every day, as long as you keep on doing it, it's all good. I'm jealous of the people who just have that as a default mode of their brain; but hey, doing this more should help remind me of that drive, hopefully.
By the way, another mega coping mechanism is "I'm going to do some super grand thing today, and I'm going to force myself to go all out!" then giving up after 3 days, then calling yourself a failure and never trying again. It's your brain's way of cheekily saying, "see? I gave it my best effort, I did what all the experts did and still failed; there's no way I'll be able to succeed!"
Have to remind myself that, that is the brain's trick. Even if what you do today doesn't feel like progress, 1 year from now, if you just keep doing the small steps, you'll reach a level you wouldn't have dreamed of at first.