Great. Not only am I insecure, but now I feel guilty about it. Edit: It's been 3 years and people keep telling me that I'm missing the point. So I watched it again, and I stand by what I said. Telling someone they shouldn't feel insecure because someone else has it worse is akin to telling them that they don't have the right to feel the way they do. Most people can't control their feelings. And the apparent 'knowledge' that they should be happy with themselves because of some arbitrary level of privilege can have compounding negative effects. No one's inner struggles have a one size fits all solution. If you think you have a problem, go to therapy. There are people who've been trained to help you. This guy is not one of them.
Don't feel guilty! Yank open the window and yell "I'M INSECURE AS HELL AND I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT!" Then probably slip out the back for a while in case your neighbors call the cops.
Anila Choudhury Anila Choudhury Anila Choudhury I do exactly the same. His videos such as this one always make me stop being so hard with myself and be more grateful for the things that i have. Thank you Matthew ❤
I'm a girl and I totally understand what you mean! Yes even if family members or friends point them out even as a joke, it still really hurts, and it's worse when before you were feeling pretty good about yourself. It's comforting to know that many more people feel like this.
I feel the same way as you guys, my sister will occasionally make jokes, thinking it’s not that personal. *She knows my insecurity. But it hurts, and you try to laugh at it and shake it off.
Ik I’m late but I agree. I had a friend who quite literally called me ugly after I had a summer glow up and disguised it as a joke and now I’m distancing myself from them. Like why would anyone say that. I felt so good cause I was getting compliments and they just destroyed it.
@@talkingweevil3172 that sounds so terrible. some people don't realize the significance of a simple joke. i hope youre finding peace and self love easier! ❤️
I have the same fear about my anxiety and depression. That someone will fall for me when i'm feeling good, and then feeling like its too much to deal with once i hit a low.
o my gosh so do I! like I'm afraid that no one will won't to be in a relationship because I have so much depression and social anxiety. I have friends and such but like I'm scared no one would want to spend their life with me. I've actually never had anyone else say they have that fear too like, I'm not alone!
Hi gorgeous! I won't lie to you, i don't have this kind of problems, but i had Friends that did, and all of them, and i'm sure you are too, are Amazing and kind. I don't know if i Can help you but i'm sure you're a nice and awesome person😄so i'm here if you wanna talk! Stay strong cutie😘😊 much love from France 😘❤
linnerfors So, be up front about it. Do this so you will hear no up front and not after 10 years of marriage. Focus on the yes. When you get a yes, still wait. Go on group dates, do challenging activities, meet their family. KNOW them well, have them get to know you. If they do all tgis and wait for sex? They're a keeper.
As someone on a wheelchair and needing another person for basically anything; I related all too much to this video. You brought me to tears too! "My wheelchair is the shell in which I am the pearl" is something I repeat to myself. Everyone deserves to be happy and loved.
Me too Stephanie. Though i made it out of a wheelchair, i'll probably always be in a walker; regardless of exercise, because i have done a lot in my life and i'm over 30 now lol. I feel any guy who is with me has to have a stronger character than most, because most people have a hard enough time taking care of themselves, even without a disability.
Fall in love with yourself and your life - that sounds like a wonderful program. I'm not interested in finding a man, but it still sounds like a program I would like to do just to be happy.
Also another problem is that sometimes you can become arrogant with too much love and you wont be able to really push yourself. People in the war didnt really love themselves (though they didnt REALLY care about insecurities), but they strived for honour and to defend the motherland and so many died, but the ones who survived had done just what they wanted to do. However on the other hand you get people nowadays that love themself who dont really pay attention to the outside world who get obese or bully people and have no goals in life. Its one hell of a balance. A quote from the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him ,"An extremist is one who shoots the arrow at the game, but with so much force that the arrow goes right through it"
Helena Hayes Message @ Jasperderson on Instagram if you wanna hacking any Instagram, Facebook or Email accounts (except verified accounts). P.S Payment is after you receive proof to confirm account is hacked.
@Sparta Batallion She doesn't necessarily need a man, she might be interested in women. Or maybe she'd be fine with a doggo until she decides she wants a relationship. You know, just because someone doesn't want a relationship at a certain age, doesn't mean they are saying "I never want a man in my life at any point until I am 105. Then, and only then, can I marry."
Generally women need to express how they feel, and men lean more toward stating, solving the problem so definitely him being sincere, vulnerable expressing his perspective with truth and so much emotion it felt like connection and compassion it touched my heart
@@c0g3nt29 This is a situation that is very touching, without being sad, it just makes you feel. Here, he was showing that he is not emotionless, he just showed he was able to feel but wasn't a crybaby. In general no one likes people who are too emotional, we have the feeling they are not mature enough. But I think we all appreciate someone who is showing their feelings with maturity. So, there is a reason. We appreciate his sincerity towards himself and us. Because he is a human being with feelings, he is not trying to a be tough guy, he's only sincere and mature. That's how I see it anyway !
@@c0g3nt29 I'm not sure we can call that a "technique". If you only do that to get the girl, she would see it, because it won't feel sincere. It's something that has to come with time, as you know the person you open up, share your past, your insecurities and your emotions. But otherwise I guess could see it that way. It has to be used "sparingly" because it's only under certain circumstances (as previously describe). And it's "effective" because it gives the feeling to know you better and that you are not afraid to show your true self (and also because guys like this are rare). And everyone loves when people are just honest (it may also be determinant if the girl is looking for a serious relationship, if you don't open up it won't last long). But it's hard to explain, there is no secret recipe entitled "how to show emotions to become attractive", it has to come from you, because that's your emotions you will share. I hope you understood what I meant and that I was clear enough...
Damn, I have a broken crooked nose and a broken jaw so my face isn’t symmetrical. I always feel less beautiful in pictures I look at how my friends look normal and symmetrical. I’m obsessed with perfection for myself, but yet I don’t force my friends, my family, my bf or anyone else to be perfect. In fact I love their imperfections but yet I struggle with accepting my own.
Well hey, you’re not alone ;) I don’t have a broken jaw or crooked nose but have tons of moles, coloured and white on my face which make me feel self conscious... but in the end, they don’t define me either 🤷♀️ it’s so easy to not judge others but ourselves...
Lizzy M. I have a lazy eye and my chin sticks out. My best friend for years told I was so ugly she couldn’t look at me! (Not friends anymore) it destroyed my life. I feel so undeserving and controlled. I can’t talk to people. I feel like I am a monster that makes people uncomfortable. How can I be successful and happy when I cant live.
crnc c : well if women actually banged men like him there would be a lot more of them. You guys just want to bang dirt bags which creates more dirt bags.
I’ve been Alone all day soaking in my thoughts, the more I’m alone and thinking the worse my mind gets. I have a problem with validation. I seek it from everyone else’s opinions about me. I really needed a mind opener and the video did that for me. I feel better about myself instead of blaming myself for being rejected or turned down, to see things a different way. I genuinely feel better.
SUCKRPUNCHED that's true, he is a salesman to a degree. However, people have been deeply hurt by their pasts & may still be emotional about it many many years later. Males can be as hurt, if not worse, than females. Don't judge what you don't know.
@@Pumpkin0_0 i guess that men aren't allowed to show their feelings, or express them without saying the tag (i'm not gay/no homo), i'm aware that this whole thing is fvcked up. Anyways, at least for me, in this very moment of my life i don't care if i'm labeled as gay man for saying / expressing my emotions.
One of my insecurities is to not be smart enough.... but I've learned to not compare myself to anyone once I realized that I'm not stupid because I've accomplished so much and I can still learn because I'm still alive.
I'm 22 and have never kissed. I feel like most of my insecurities come from fear. I'm so ready, yet so scared of "the first time", I guess because I'm ashamed of that.
24 and in the same boat. I've met many girls who I've liked. A few I've closely interacted with - but I'm just too nervous to say anything. Going to an all boys school didn't help. My biggest problem is that I am a little oblivious - I have no idea whether a girl is just being nice or actually likes me. So I ere on the side of caution. I'd rather not make the situation awkward (for time to come)
It’s not special unless it’s with someone special. Your first sexual experiences should be with someone you care about because you’ll never forget it. After that do what you want with whoever you want lol.
He is so empathetic, compassionate, intelligent, and intuitive 😭❤️ him crying makes me wanna ball omfg. Watching this i feel selfish for being insecure even though i know everyone has insecurities this is a perspective shifter 🖤
your video got me crying in shame. shame because i am not being grateful for what i have been given (health, a mother who loves me more than herself, being able to walk, see, taste, having enough money to study etc.), but instead of that, i waste my time thinking i am not capable of approaching any woman because she would think i am just not good enough for her, because my body type is strange and unattractive, because my skin is not perfect, because my size is not the one that all girls mention to admire and so on... and it's all so clear now. In order to find happiness, you have to accept the things you can't change. You have to show gratitude for the opportunities you are being given in life, in contrast to those who are on a wheeling chair, those stuck in a hospital working their way out of a situation called "cancer" and so on. Not looking down upon them, but being grateful that you can leave your house anytime and change the world. Yes, you can change everything and make everything great for you or the people around you even with an ugly nose or a non-perfect body. Thanks a lot. p.s. i apologise for my poor vocabulary and the terrible syntax, i am not a native speaker.
Or you could just fix the things that bother you by getting a nose job, proper skincare etc. What does the video even say? I should feel better about myself just because some people have it worse than me? Well plenty of people have it better than me. Where does it end? This argument could be used for any scenario, it's ridiculous to think this would cure anyone's insecurities and if it does they probably didn't have real insecurities in the first place.
did you even get what the person above is saying before posting your dumb reply? don't tell people what to do but try to go and fix your personality first.
Hidden Truths Who the fuck are you to tell me I’m stupid for defending someone who you are clearly trying to belittle, thinking your opinion is actually valid. Get the stick out of your asshole first before commenting your irrelevant opinion that literally no one cares about.
@@hiddentruths6961 Truth spoken! Shame is such a primitive way of making people feel guilty or even worse. Just because children in Africa are dying doesn't mean I won't be feeling this inner emptiness in me anymore. If I learned one thing through my practice of Buddhism, then that's not healthy to compare suffering. Never.
Wow... "I'm worried, that when I look at somebody, they're looking at me and they're just seeing the amount of responsibility they have..." That cut deep. Wow. And MATT!!! "...that moment was a privilege." Amazing!!!
My dad used to say that life without problems is tasteless, i didn't know what it really meant cause i wanted to picture myself in a life without problems,but now i understand, coming out from the problem and looking back to what you've accomplished, concurring it,makes the real you. The feeling is divine 😊
My first real love couldn't walk, I had to help her with showers, sometimes dressing depending on her condition. She had CMT. It effect her muscles, nerves and such. I didnt see her for her disability, but the wonderful lady she were on the inside. Sadly her 19 years of constant bullying had left its mark on her, and she didnt leave that at the doorstep, it killed our relations. We had been together for 4 years until I couldn't take it anymore. It wasent her disability, I knew what I was going in to. I was prepared to love her unconditionally for the rest of my life, adopt a kid, start our own little family. But again, she were too damaged. Therapy didnt help, let's just say it was a mess, and it still kills me. We were together for four years and we broke up 5 months ago. I know for a fact that she is back at being bullied, in the contry she came from. I feel like I let her down, but i knew i had to say stop for my own sake. I really hope she found the love of her life, there are wonderful people out there that sees you for who you are.
Hi Sammy. Thanks for sharing your story. It has been the exact same for me. I knew I wouldn’t let him down because of the disability but that I wouldn’t want to stay because of it either. You have to stay because of love, not pity. I tried so hard for 11 years to make him happy, but his temper got worse and worse. I gave everything I had but it was not enough. As you said, he was too damaged... I am sorry you had to live this painful experience as well. I want to acknowledge you for having the courage to leave in that situation. It’s so tough. I hope you will find some more love in your life. For me, it has been 2 years and I think I am ready to move on. Good luck. :)
What a beautiful story. I am glad you found the strength to leave. You have a big heart. I hope you are doing better, and I sincerely hope she is doing better somewhere out there too.
This video is not ideal for people suffering from mental health problems. If they see someone who has a better life or who's better looking, they will feel more deeply insecure. People are mostly afraid to go out in the real world and meet people because they feel insecure about the way they look or the way they would come across. They tend to doubt every single thing they might say or act upon; their anxiety is a huge block that limits the ways they want to approach people. Perspective, thus, is temporarily available, like you said. I think it's easy to see things from our own perspective and not from the eyes of those that are truly insecure in every single part of their lives.
Lonesome I have never related to something more I love ice skating so much but when I get to the ice rink I choke up all the people around I know that they aren’t watching me and don’t ever care that I’m there but I feel like even if I get on the ice people will judge me and everyone will stare at me and it’s such a big insecurity that I physically can’t bring myself to get on the ice
Lonesome - exactly! Thats why you go to a mental health professional instead. Like I am, I see a psychologist for Depression and anxiety, about 2 years ago i wasnt even brave enough to leave the house and walk down the street, for fear of being judged harshy kn my appearance etc. But fast forward now, i am going out and being more comfy talking to strangers and doing things that make me happy. And my perspective on my problems has changed, and now they seem so much smaller, than my mindset a few years back.
That wasn't the point, @Lonesome. The point was to think of someone who doesn't have what you have and who would do anything to get to your position. That makes you feel gratitude and gratitude fuels growth.
hey! I am also a disabled person. Though not on wheelchair and I avoid using artificial limbs. I am 30, and still never dated anyone, just because they see me as a responsibility. I try to be independent and seldom need help. even I am one of those who only go out with their parents. I have fallen for a guy who is a friend of mine . I can only text him. this is a long distance thing that is why we meet once a year. Somewhere, I have sensed that he has also fallen for me.
Good luck to you dear :) I'm in a long distance relationship too so i feel you and i've been always the girl who go out with her parents too . Wish you happiness and the best :)
I feel the same exact way as the woman. I am in a wheelchair too and I have been turned down because guys are afraid they would have to help me. I am pretty independent and when I need help I ask for it. I have felt like a burden to people and that is why I don't have a lot of dating experience. I'm in my 30s and I'm still trying to break out of that.
AKT86 You will find someone I'm sure. The more you date, the faster you'll find that guy who sees you for who you are: a person. Don't let you chin down because people have made you feel bad about yourself. I don't have a wheelchair, but I am clinically depressed and I have ptsd, and I have been made feel bad about it by a lot of people as well, very close people even people who I loved and that loved me. But I am just not going to accept that kind of treatment. I deserve to be loved and happy, just like anyone else and so do you. So never accept the burden that other people give you when they categorize you or stick a certain image on you. There is good and bad in everyone, so I'm not necessarily labeling those people good or bad, but a person who does that is not worth your time and this could certainly speed up the selection process for you when you date or meet new people. There is always hope and there are always people who we could match with, that if we are comfortable with ourselves and love ourselves completely, we will meet and we can have a friendship or romantic relationship with. Lots of love from Europe
I have a brother in law who had a really bad break up. He was depressed for like 2 whole years after his wife left him. One day, he walked out of work and there was a lady in a wheelchair and she was stuck in the snow and trying to get out. My brother in law went to help her and they started dating after that and got married shortly after. My brother in law is a really caring person and loves caring for his wife. I think he likes the fact that she is dependent on him for certain things because he knows that she won't leave him like his first wife. When I see them together, I see true love.
AKT86 awe I have known the same feeling!!! I was in a car accident & aside from being told I wouldnt use my arm again I couldnt walk without massive pain (often passing out) for 8 years. At the time of the accident I had just broken up with my boyfriend & you know he never once even came to visit? I died & came back the last surgery & was staying with his parents & he still didnt care. Then limping everywhere, unable to be active like others, getting stuck in the parking lot unable to walk. I even had a guy say "I'll give you a sympathy date". That was from age 28 to 36. Started my nonprofit in 2008 & wrote my first book. Today Ive recovered & I have my life back but I look for the deeper connection that surpasses things like health issues. I lost every single friend at the time cuz I was disabled and I did think "why would a man waste his time with me". But I was superficial cuz I didnt realize not all men are that shallow. I remember crying in the hospital saying I'll never get married with one arm. haha Now Im more concerned with finding a good guy :)
AKT86 also to add it is a great filter to find those who actually are there for the right reasons. You know if I met a guy with one arm Id probably like him even more now. :) I know a man who is like a dad to me, his wife cant do anything for herself and he loooves to take care of her. Its the sweetest thing in the world. Love is just love
I'm in a similar position. Lost my legs in Afghanistan, and now raising kids on my own. So it would be a huge responsibility for a woman if she accepted a relationship with me. I'm not in a rush though, just trying to work on and maintain myself, and the right one will come along when least expected. Thanks!
I think...the best thing...is to care about yourself...first build yourself up...by making you look better..and feel better. ..then slowly other people will like you..just be a nice person...
I’m insecure about my self bc I’m ugly 😭 it’s that I’m ugly with or without filters 😭💔 People tell me that I’m not ugly but their trying to make me feel better but yet I know I’m ugly 😥 but all these videos about self confidence 💗are making me more confident about my self 😊
I remember the first time I met a very great friend I now have in my life. She smiled ALL THE DAMN TIME! Her perfect straight white teeth were her best feature and she knew it. Everyone calls her Sunny because that's who she is. Not beautiful at all and she shines because she doesn't care about that. I watch people interact with her and everyone is their authentic selves with her. There is no pretense. It's amazing. I want to be more like her every day. That's real beauty. Her husband adores her too.
Looks attract, but personality keeps. It may be a saying but it's true. I can tell you that I prefer a girl that is fun to be with way more, than a girl that is prettier but boring. I believe there is a soul mate, and until you find that someone you should enjoy the ride ;)
All of us have insecurities with ourselves and that also happened in most relationships. Insecurities can ruin everything because we think we're not good enough but I tell you, you just have to see yourself in different perspective and focus on positive things you have because we tend to get jealous with everyone's life but looking to our life we didn't see that how blessed we are as a person.
Or just fix your insecurities... Have a big nose? Get a nose job. Plenty of ways to fix physical insecurities, believe me you can never truly get over them. Only way to deal with your insecurities is to fix them, you'll not only feel better but society will treat you better as a whole.
@@hiddentruths6961 Society will treat u better if u have your nose fix...??So u mean someone becomes a bad person if there nose is cracked that society can't treat them better..??
This made me cry and a LOT. We complain soooo much, when we have things and situations in our favor. Nobody is really perfect and it's like Matthew say, it's all about perspective and have some gratitude. Thank you very much. Kinda need this today
Thanks for this Matt. Seeing you tear up made me realize a lot of people don't always put themselves in our shoes. When you're disabled everything is 10 times harder including dating. I have been disabled since I was 16. I am glad to say though my dating life does exist. My problem is for the guy to stay. I was recently dumped actually for being too much of a burden (he was promoted to captain in the army and said I can't be alone in the house, I can't drive, I wouldn't be able to take care of any kids if we had any etc). Being disabled this is one of my biggest fears and it came true. It crushed me in the beginning but you know what? I'm still alive and will still continue trying. I have only ever dated disabled so it's all I know how to do anyways. I do get more guys ghost/reject/ignore me as soon as I let them know I'm disabled but I hope it will get me closer to the man who will see me for who I am and not my disabilities. I do have to add though that he regretted breaking up with me but I didn't take him back. In the end I ended up being the emotionally stronger of the two (thanks to my disabilities lol) and decided its time to move on to the next chapter in my life :)
I have been healing those unworthy wounds as well. I have also come to realize my "dad" (I really dont like calling him dad) has his own unworthy issues too and his own childhood sexual trauma. I guide meditation to facilitate healing. If you would like to experience a guided personalized meditation. Email me mary@powerinlovinglife.com I will gift a 30min session to you.
So i cried... how can i question myself after hearing that. her bravery and confidence in herself and her ability to know she wants to be with her friend is why i admire love. wow, best video yet. please thank her for me MH! thanks for sharing!
Still here, still surviving, still broken, But will stay hopeful, because my family didn’t raise me to quit no matter how much I hate myself atm I’ll keep fighting on like a soldier, I believe I’ll truly make it one day😪❤️
How refreshing to see a very handsome adult man admit that his hair is receding and it shows he's taking it casually, just as way of life. This is more than a date-coaching video. What a mature dude.
Came back to watch this video as I needed a kick in the butt. It's good to remember we are not the only ones on this world with issues and that someone has more to deal with and still tries.
I got divorced from abusive marriage 6 years ago and ever since I try to find another man.I am disabled also,feeling very lonely sometimes but I don’t loose the hope.Thank you for your emotional talk,your empathy with people makes you not only great person,which I am sure you are,but a great coach also.♥️
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I was JUST looking at this other woman in my office, talking to the man I have had an emotional and physical relationship with and I was overwhelmed with jealousy and insecurity. I kept trying to be logical but I quickly derailed into all of those self destructive thoughts. So I got on UA-cam to look for something to snap me out of it. This was the humbling that I needed. This is my reality check. A few weeks ago I had been in a wheelchair for 6 weeks due to surgery and I was shown a whole new perspective of how much I take for granted and just for how often we don't understand the struggle of others. It changed the way I operate and made me So much more aware of how I treat others. I just needed this today Matt. I am praying that the beautiful young lady you are referring to does in fact, find the love Of her life. Anyone who truly loves you knows that all of us are worth the effort. Always. ❤️❤️❤️
I don't have a physical disability but I have anxiety and depression which has been a life long issue. I have good days but I have to keep in balance and it doesn't always happen. i have thought that who would want to deal with this even though I know I am a kind hearted person. Sometimes I get tired of it so why would another person want to deal with it. I think people do like me but hanging around and dating are two different things.
So you are saying you lost your job? Was it due to depression? and you boyfriend left you? I swear things come in threes sometimes. After I left my ex husband, my mom died. I used to say as a joke the Locusts are coming like in the Bible. I had to stop saying that because things kept coming.
Life tobelived That is exactly me ...Every day i think about that and feel absolutely lonely and terrified .. Depression, over thinking, OCD, bad temper, uncertainty and huge body image insecurity .... Who would want to deal with that ?! Even I am fed with it ... I can't stand it ..
Geminilicious Wow do you think we are long lost sisters. That is my life. Mine is definitely genetic. I have also been battling with a hormone imbalance and some health issues after I had my gall bladder out. I just went to the meetup group today I just started organizing recently. I felt totally off, ended getting there late and couldn't quite keep from being out of sorts. Did watch a wonderful Japanese movie called Just Name. Anyway every time I do these things every insecurity comes out. We even had a member show up but he was too nervous to join the group so I found out later he sat near us. We didn't know until he messaged he enjoyed the movie and told us he was nervous. Really there are a whole bunch of out there but so many of us are too scared to admit. This was a man so I am pretty impressed that he admitted it. There are some really out going people and then there are the nervous ones. If you get angry a lot and it isn't because of some trauma get your hormones and thyroid checked. After i went into menopause all I had left was testosterone. It kind of explained why I was angry all the time with a high libido. Oh and by the way going with out a partner makes my fuse short and I have a very long fuse. the only thing that keeps me thinking about dating is going without sex is making me even more cray cray than normal.
YeJamalu Ulen if you go to the flip side of an anxiety, depressed person you will see the person who sees risk or pitfalls before other people thus avoiding dangerous situations emotionally or physically. We are like the canary in the mind we see things many times before other people do. Also, we are kind because we know how hard things can be and some people see this as a weakness that we are too kind hearted but it is actually a strength. We tend to be more creative and when we do form relationships they are very deep relationships. Try to find a professional therapist but if you live somewhere there just isn't any therapist find a kind doctor to talk to or a wise person maybe even someone who is older. Many times people experience things that they just don't share unless they are asked. There is not point in ending it because there are better things a round the corner and to be honest you need to stay alive long enough to prove them all wrong. I am going to recommend a Korean drama that has subtitles. It is about an introverted, anxious recluse who is a CEO of a company who ran it from one room. No one liked him or understood him. Over time he was able to win people over but not before a tragedy of another sensitive person. Remember everyone has things they have to overcome we just don't know it. dramanices.com/drama/introverted-boss-detail
life to be believed I've been in a relationship with someone who has severe no polar and social anxiety with depression and was diagnosed with extreme paranoid delusions. I can tell you this much if a person loves you they will love every part of you. the good the bad and the hard. it definitely wasn't easy with him but I stood by and supported and loved him for who he was. flaws and all that is what true love is all about.
Matthew, I'll be honest... I wrote down two things that I generally label upon myself that I feel are incredibly unattractive about me before getting to watch the....more emotional part of the video. I wrote: anxiety, and over/under-whelming presence. I own that I look beautiful, I own that I have a great personality, and I own that I could date pretty much any guy and have beautiful relationships with these men. But I always feel like I fall short. I even just got dumped because a guy told me he loved me, but wasn't IN love with me. Ouch! But after hearing, "you've got it made!" my worldview shifted for a moment. I do: I've gotten therapy, and a better self-concept, AND I'm still exploring who I am, which is a tad bit scary.... I'm so often dependent on whether I'm loved, that that's all that I'll focus on, and ultimately drive everyone away. It's hard, but the more I am taught that it's okay to love myself, including the insecure, anxious me, including the me that can seem overwhelming or underwhelming in a given moment... the less of the ache of loneliness I feel, and the more warmth pours forth. I know I'm not in the greatest place right now, but I'm in tears from how grateful I am for watching your videos. That Mr. Right IS out there, and I'm continually improving myself for ME, and for a better fit to whomever he is out there. Thank you for instilling hope in me, that I really am worth it, and that life WILL get better. Much love, ~Karissa
This is why you're the king of dating advice. You look at women as human beings (unlike the condescending channels that simplify human relationships). You're lovely and deep. Thanks for treating us like humans.
You’re not a bad looking dude! Definitely stay confident bro!!! You definitely matter and inspire others to do the same. You’re great thank you so much.
I think your nose is your best feature!! And who cares if you lost your hair youd still look good. I can relate though I hate my nose at certain angles and it was crooked at birth. Im supposed to fix it but I dont want surgery. The dr said it looks like I was punched. And I also have a hairline that is strangely high, and lately Ive been showing my forehead and ugh pulling at my bangs lol!!! But you fall in love with a heart not a feature. So in the end none of that matters really. Id rather be imperfect than be perfect and worry about the moment Im not
Yes. .I feel insecure about my looks...but not so much about...the rest of me...because I am tall and slim...the best way to make a friend...is to let them know that you are a nice friendly person..who wants to help....and talk...
So powerful! while I was listening to what this woman was going through I felt that my insecurities were really absurd... sometimes we lose perspective about things
The emotion is that of a true empath. He doesn't know what the other person's experience is like exactly because he has not lived it. But he has such a depth of character and sense of compassion that he tries to contemplate what her life is like. And he freely acknowledged that he could not imagine her life and he would not patronize her with the standard I understand how you feel. But he reached out and opened himself up. He gained perspective. We can bitch and moan about so many things. But then we see someone in a situation that is so much more powerful than where we are, it's important to open up and learn from the opportunity. To this beautiful soul he was speaking about, I wish you nothing but the best that life has to offer.
i get what you mean. still, even if i know that there are people who have bigger problems than me, or who have more reasons than me to feel insecure, that doesn't change my mind. i'm still insecure and i probably will be forever
So sweet. I love how much you obviously care. I know that woman was in good hands talking with you. Thanks for the reminder to see my situation as it is, not worse than it is!
Emotions are always there something that can’t be control. I love being who I am . I am not denying myself at all. Don’t feel sorry for anyone just be who you are and those ppl who need help
Thank you... I needed to see this. Perspective and selfworth is key. I need to stop feeling bad about what I see in the mirror and realize that there’s nothing wrong with who’s looking back.
Love this video 🤗 I'm a dialysis patient and a bereaved mum to the most Amazing little boy... He was born without eyes and he taught me so much more than I could write here but Life's so Muchly more than the outside of our body 💙
Omg... Dude I HAVE SOOOOO MANY!!!😭 I am an 18 year old anti-social, depressed freak. I should b entering into the world right now but instead I am tryna hide away from it😔
Just want to put out there that your feelings are valid and just because you have it better than someone, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel down sometimes. Just for those people that obsess over the message that lots have it worse so they’re not allowed to be upset.
This was such a great video, putting yourself in other people's shoes. Matthew, I would love if you could do a video on dating with acne and the insecurities that follows with it - would love your thoughts on it!!
Such a great video! One I can somewhat relate to with my multiple sclerosis. for example some days I wake up and I can't walk or talk correctly, what's worse is that it's unpredictable, and I'm in not saying this to feel bad for myself or convince anyone else to feel bad. I feel as though I've gotten past the part of "grieving" over the loss of somethings that i cannot do or take part in anymore. Also I think it's beneficial to share your struggles with others to show that there is always someone worse off than you, and there is always a way to beat the thing you struggle with, whether it be in regrards to your insecurities or life struggles. Specifically, something that I am insecure about is my limp caused from an injury that ended my basketball career in high school. I have had several surgeries in an attempt to fix this limp but in the end it always swells back up and the pain starts again. It has been several years and I have realized that some people don't notice the limp and the people that do like to hear about my passion for basketball among other things. Truth is sometimes I think that the insecurities that we have debilbitate us more than they are a reason someone may not like or be attracted to us.
:') You really touch my heart Matthew. I'm a single Mom with a two year old, and I struggle with some health problems. The man I love is younger than me. He is very focused on his career. And as much as he loves me back. It's overwhelming for him to be with me somedays because he feels he can't be the man I need and deserve right now. And he's not sure if he ever could be. It's a lot of responsibility to take care of a woman and young child, and he really loves what he does for a career and tends to be a bit of a workaholic. I've been trying to comfort him that I love him, I believe in him, I trust him, I respect him, and if he doesn't want to be with me it's okay I will still love him and be supportive of his goals in life. And I tell him I'm not going anywhere. I'm sold out to him. I'm devoted. And it's ok that he has to focus on his career right now. It seems like he's just falling deeper and deeper in love with me because every time I reassure him of this and he is relaxed rather than stressed about work, he starts talking about how much he wants to spend his life with me and he gets a boner. Lol. I thought it was only women who needed a lot of reassurance but I guess men need it too sometimes. Godspeed Matthew Your adoring fan, Chelsea
I don think its fake crying , i choose to believe that he opened up emotionally and wanted to share his feelings with people. The risk factor in faking things is high. I think he wants people to get along and love each other again in this semi-sick world. He sees the pain and so he does talks and lectures to connect with people to try to save the innocence. Yes he does look after himself, he says so himself, i dont think thats a bad thing.
Hands down this dude will be recognized as a goat.. this dude has literally saved my life..listening to his work and job I can relate to it.. *minslegend* keep it up and thank you for your talent... 💯.
Beautiful. Takes a bit to tear me up, but you managed! Please ask her to keep you (and us) updated on her progress with this friend. I really want to hear she got the guy.
This makes me cry for a lot for many reason. I have been insecure because people judge me by the way I look and it makes me sad that people only see the beauty in appearance and not in deep in their hearts. I realize that people words can hurt a lot, and I tried to stay strong but it’s not that easy. The point in this is that your important and I love you even do I don’t know you, you are beautiful just the way you are :)
words can not express how connected i felt with this video. thank you to the girl who won the skype call. thank you for being the wonderful you that you are.
I lost my arm because of an illness. I was so scared. Turnes out my dating life is literally the same as before. I have Guys who want to be with me and I go trough heartbreaks like everybody else. Don't let your insecurities decide what you do and what not. You are worth it and with a little confidence you can get everything you want. Trust in it.
...this is not hate but for me it feels like hes saying that somebody always has it worse. so you shouldn't be insecure about yourself. For me its like just to a depressed person you shouldn't be sad, someone has it worse.
being grateful doesn't always automatically fix everything though. I'm grateful for my job, but it brings out my insecurities. Someone has it worse yes, but how does that fix my insecurities and in turn my performance. That's something I need to work on myself, for myself. I know somebody probably has it worse, but that doesn't magically fix my own insecurity.
I'm insecure because I've been treated badly in the past and now I am sooo guarded that I can't let anyone get close to me....it's a shame...I have so much love to give...😢
H Bhatt Who cares what people think? You're probably never gonna see them again. If they don't like you because of your appearance they are NOT worth your time.
Great. Not only am I insecure, but now I feel guilty about it.
Edit: It's been 3 years and people keep telling me that I'm missing the point. So I watched it again, and I stand by what I said. Telling someone they shouldn't feel insecure because someone else has it worse is akin to telling them that they don't have the right to feel the way they do. Most people can't control their feelings. And the apparent 'knowledge' that they should be happy with themselves because of some arbitrary level of privilege can have compounding negative effects.
No one's inner struggles have a one size fits all solution. If you think you have a problem, go to therapy. There are people who've been trained to help you. This guy is not one of them.
lols. yes.
😂😂😂 right, like now we have the guilt to deal with which I'm sure wasn't the purpose of the video
😂😂😂
Don't feel guilty! Yank open the window and yell "I'M INSECURE AS HELL AND I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT!"
Then probably slip out the back for a while in case your neighbors call the cops.
😂😂😂
Every time I don't feel good, I watch one of your videos and it changes my whole mood and perspective. Matt, what you do is a gift
Anila Choudhury I'm the same way. Matthew always makes me smile after a bad day.
Couldnt agree more!!
Anila Choudhury Anila Choudhury Anila Choudhury I do exactly the same. His videos such as this one always make me stop being so hard with myself and be more grateful for the things that i have. Thank you Matthew ❤
same here :D
Anila Choudhury true its a gift
being an insecure guy i wish more people would understand that even as a joke, pointing out insecurities hurts deep and its all we think about
I'm a girl and I totally understand what you mean! Yes even if family members or friends point them out even as a joke, it still really hurts, and it's worse when before you were feeling pretty good about yourself. It's comforting to know that many more people feel like this.
I feel the same way as you guys, my sister will occasionally make jokes, thinking it’s not that personal. *She knows my insecurity. But it hurts, and you try to laugh at it and shake it off.
Ik I’m late but I agree. I had a friend who quite literally called me ugly after I had a summer glow up and disguised it as a joke and now I’m distancing myself from them. Like why would anyone say that. I felt so good cause I was getting compliments and they just destroyed it.
@@talkingweevil3172 that sounds so terrible. some people don't realize the significance of a simple joke. i hope youre finding peace and self love easier! ❤️
@@504palmer thank you, I wish the same to you.
This man's mind is beautiful
Andreea Morgociu you're beautiful!
She just wants Matthew, cause he's tall and good looking not some dude that plays games and eats Pringles lol
Unlike mine
Now go marry him
Andreea Morgociu yes!
I have the same fear about my anxiety and depression. That someone will fall for me when i'm feeling good, and then feeling like its too much to deal with once i hit a low.
o my gosh so do I! like I'm afraid that no one will won't to be in a relationship because I have so much depression and social anxiety. I have friends and such but like I'm scared no one would want to spend their life with me. I've actually never had anyone else say they have that fear too like, I'm not alone!
Michelle Johnson Me too!! Anxiety is a major problem.
Hi gorgeous! I won't lie to you, i don't have this kind of problems, but i had Friends that did, and all of them, and i'm sure you are too, are Amazing and kind. I don't know if i Can help you but i'm sure you're a nice and awesome person😄so i'm here if you wanna talk! Stay strong cutie😘😊 much love from France 😘❤
linnerfors So, be up front about it. Do this so you will hear no up front and not after 10 years of marriage.
Focus on the yes. When you get a yes, still wait. Go on group dates, do challenging activities, meet their family. KNOW them well, have them get to know you. If they do all tgis and wait for sex? They're a keeper.
This is me all the time! 😭 this is why most of the relationships I’ve been in failed. And they’ve fail because of my self esteem shifts so quick.
As someone on a wheelchair and needing another person for basically anything; I related all too much to this video.
You brought me to tears too!
"My wheelchair is the shell in which I am the pearl" is something I repeat to myself.
Everyone deserves to be happy and loved.
Stephanie Awe, how beautiful! You ARE the pearl!!! The perfect pearl! 💕
Me too Stephanie. Though i made it out of a wheelchair, i'll probably always be in a walker; regardless of exercise, because i have done a lot in my life and i'm over 30 now lol. I feel any guy who is with me has to have a stronger character than most, because most people have a hard enough time taking care of themselves, even without a disability.
That's beautiful Stephanie Pearl!!! I say I'm a diamond because it takes a ton of force to produce a diamond!!
You are loved Stephanie. ❤ much loved than you ever thought! Keep smiling.
❤️
Fall in love with yourself and your life - that sounds like a wonderful program. I'm not interested in finding a man, but it still sounds like a program I would like to do just to be happy.
Helena Hayes but hhhhhhhhhow?
Amen
Also another problem is that sometimes you can become arrogant with too much love and you wont be able to really push yourself. People in the war didnt really love themselves (though they didnt REALLY care about insecurities), but they strived for honour and to defend the motherland and so many died, but the ones who survived had done just what they wanted to do. However on the other hand you get people nowadays that love themself who dont really pay attention to the outside world who get obese or bully people and have no goals in life. Its one hell of a balance. A quote from the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him ,"An extremist is one who shoots the arrow at the game, but with so much force that the arrow goes right through it"
Helena Hayes Message @ Jasperderson on Instagram if you wanna hacking any Instagram, Facebook or Email accounts (except verified accounts). P.S Payment is after you receive proof to confirm account is hacked.
@Sparta Batallion She doesn't necessarily need a man, she might be interested in women. Or maybe she'd be fine with a doggo until she decides she wants a relationship.
You know, just because someone doesn't want a relationship at a certain age, doesn't mean they are saying "I never want a man in my life at any point until I am 105. Then, and only then, can I marry."
The emotion you show while telling this story is extremely attractive.
Generally women need to express how they feel, and men lean more toward stating, solving the problem so definitely him being sincere, vulnerable expressing his perspective with truth and so much emotion it felt like connection and compassion it touched my heart
that's when he got attractive for me
@@c0g3nt29 There is no logic, so do not try to find it :P
@@c0g3nt29 This is a situation that is very touching, without being sad, it just makes you feel. Here, he was showing that he is not emotionless, he just showed he was able to feel but wasn't a crybaby.
In general no one likes people who are too emotional, we have the feeling they are not mature enough. But I think we all appreciate someone who is showing their feelings with maturity.
So, there is a reason. We appreciate his sincerity towards himself and us. Because he is a human being with feelings, he is not trying to a be tough guy, he's only sincere and mature.
That's how I see it anyway !
@@c0g3nt29 I'm not sure we can call that a "technique". If you only do that to get the girl, she would see it, because it won't feel sincere.
It's something that has to come with time, as you know the person you open up, share your past, your insecurities and your emotions.
But otherwise I guess could see it that way. It has to be used "sparingly" because it's only under certain circumstances (as previously describe). And it's "effective" because it gives the feeling to know you better and that you are not afraid to show your true self (and also because guys like this are rare).
And everyone loves when people are just honest (it may also be determinant if the girl is looking for a serious relationship, if you don't open up it won't last long).
But it's hard to explain, there is no secret recipe entitled "how to show emotions to become attractive", it has to come from you, because that's your emotions you will share.
I hope you understood what I meant and that I was clear enough...
As a burn survivor. This video really helped me . Thank you so much for sharing.
Ashley Elysian ❤️
💜may you live positively
❤
❤
Hope you’re doing okay now☺️
Damn, I have a broken crooked nose and a broken jaw so my face isn’t symmetrical. I always feel less beautiful in pictures I look at how my friends look normal and symmetrical. I’m obsessed with perfection for myself, but yet I don’t force my friends, my family, my bf or anyone else to be perfect. In fact I love their imperfections but yet I struggle with accepting my own.
You have a bf? Lucky you!!
Well hey, you’re not alone ;) I don’t have a broken jaw or crooked nose but have tons of moles, coloured and white on my face which make me feel self conscious... but in the end, they don’t define me either 🤷♀️ it’s so easy to not judge others but ourselves...
Lizzy M. I have a lazy eye and my chin sticks out. My best friend for years told I was so ugly she couldn’t look at me! (Not friends anymore) it destroyed my life. I feel so undeserving and controlled. I can’t talk to people. I feel like I am a monster that makes people uncomfortable. How can I be successful and happy when I cant live.
Samantha Sever same :(
Samantha Sever I love you
matthew you need to get married and multiply your self because the word needs more good hearted people like you 💙
crnc c : well if women actually banged men like him there would be a lot more of them. You guys just want to bang dirt bags which creates more dirt bags.
Wow, Justin G. Can you take that bitterness somewhere else? Thanks. What a disgusting way to think of women.
hah, yeah
Justin G not true...studies show women prefer the nice men
Justin G well that came out of nowhere 🤔😂😂😂
I’ve been Alone all day soaking in my thoughts, the more I’m alone and thinking the worse my mind gets. I have a problem with validation. I seek it from everyone else’s opinions about me. I really needed a mind opener and the video did that for me. I feel better about myself instead of blaming myself for being rejected or turned down, to see things a different way. I genuinely feel better.
I was already holding back tears.. and then.. your voice CRACKED and I LOST IT.
This was an incredible video.
Veronica Renaker you're beautiful
same happened to me
SUCKRPUNCHED that's true, he is a salesman to a degree. However, people have been deeply hurt by their pasts & may still be emotional about it many many years later. Males can be as hurt, if not worse, than females. Don't judge what you don't know.
Veronica Renaker don't listen to suckrpunched. If he touched you...run with it.
Veronica Renaker I took you losing it when his voice cracked as laughing your butt off and was triggered and confused until I read the comments 😂
Im a straight guy man but the way you showed your emotions mades me want to hug you.keep inspiring bro the way you inspired me👊
What does your sexual orientation have to do with hugging a man?
HW
In what way?
WTF😑
commentator fts closeted gay 101
@@Pumpkin0_0 i guess that men aren't allowed to show their feelings, or express them without saying the tag (i'm not gay/no homo), i'm aware that this whole thing is fvcked up. Anyways, at least for me, in this very moment of my life i don't care if i'm labeled as gay man for saying / expressing my emotions.
One of my insecurities is to not be smart enough.... but I've learned to not compare myself to anyone once I realized that I'm not stupid because I've accomplished so much and I can still learn because I'm still alive.
Same Dayana, same...
Don't get me wrong, Dayana, but you should compare yourself to others.
Dayana From Havana yes we can
❤️🙏
How did you learned to not compare yourself with others;
I'm 22 and have never kissed. I feel like most of my insecurities come from fear. I'm so ready, yet so scared of "the first time", I guess because I'm ashamed of that.
Naama Weber I have been there!
24 and in the same boat. I've met many girls who I've liked. A few I've closely interacted with - but I'm just too nervous to say anything. Going to an all boys school didn't help. My biggest problem is that I am a little oblivious - I have no idea whether a girl is just being nice or actually likes me. So I ere on the side of caution. I'd rather not make the situation awkward (for time to come)
Its not that special, its good but it doesnt make you better of a human being
I beat you, im 34 and never anything. Cheers
It’s not special unless it’s with someone special. Your first sexual experiences should be with someone you care about because you’ll never forget it. After that do what you want with whoever you want lol.
I have many friends but I feel like no one likes me romanticly. It makes me feel so bad
Coming from same background: It's your own view of what romance is.
PotatoTrapgod You’re definitely not alone on that.
same, literally all my friends have had someone interested in them romantically and then no one has ever liked me before
Same here
Same especially when you see photos of people kissing or being happy in a relationship
He is so empathetic, compassionate, intelligent, and intuitive 😭❤️ him crying makes me wanna ball omfg. Watching this i feel selfish for being insecure even though i know everyone has insecurities this is a perspective shifter 🖤
you seem more and more like a life coach instead of a dating coach as time goes by. this video was awesome.....thanks
Keisha Bailey I don't even know why I watch his videos. I have a boyfriend,I'm not seeking dating advice. But it's just nice to listen to him.
your video got me crying in shame. shame because i am not being grateful for what i have been given (health, a mother who loves me more than herself, being able to walk, see, taste, having enough money to study etc.), but instead of that, i waste my time thinking i am not capable of approaching any woman because she would think i am just not good enough for her, because my body type is strange and unattractive, because my skin is not perfect, because my size is not the one that all girls mention to admire and so on... and it's all so clear now. In order to find happiness, you have to accept the things you can't change. You have to show gratitude for the opportunities you are being given in life, in contrast to those who are on a wheeling chair, those stuck in a hospital working their way out of a situation called "cancer" and so on. Not looking down upon them, but being grateful that you can leave your house anytime and change the world. Yes, you can change everything and make everything great for you or the people around you even with an ugly nose or a non-perfect body. Thanks a lot.
p.s. i apologise for my poor vocabulary and the terrible syntax, i am not a native speaker.
Or you could just fix the things that bother you by getting a nose job, proper skincare etc. What does the video even say? I should feel better about myself just because some people have it worse than me? Well plenty of people have it better than me. Where does it end? This argument could be used for any scenario, it's ridiculous to think this would cure anyone's insecurities and if it does they probably didn't have real insecurities in the first place.
did you even get what the person above is saying before posting your dumb reply? don't tell people what to do but try to go and fix your personality first.
Hidden Truths Who the fuck are you to tell me I’m stupid for defending someone who you are clearly trying to belittle, thinking your opinion is actually valid. Get the stick out of your asshole first before commenting your irrelevant opinion that literally no one cares about.
@@hiddentruths6961 lol
@@hiddentruths6961
Truth spoken!
Shame is such a primitive way of making people feel guilty or even worse. Just because children in Africa are dying doesn't mean I won't be feeling this inner emptiness in me anymore. If I learned one thing through my practice of Buddhism, then that's not healthy to compare suffering. Never.
Wow... "I'm worried, that when I look at somebody, they're looking at me and they're just seeing the amount of responsibility they have..."
That cut deep. Wow.
And MATT!!! "...that moment was a privilege."
Amazing!!!
seeing a man cry does something to me.. omg i can't
Ashley Davis same
“Perspective can be a shortcut to gratitude” love this!!!!!
PREACH.
My dad used to say that life without problems is tasteless, i didn't know what it really meant cause i wanted to picture myself in a life without problems,but now i understand, coming out from the problem and looking back to what you've accomplished, concurring it,makes the real you. The feeling is divine 😊
My first real love couldn't walk, I had to help her with showers, sometimes dressing depending on her condition. She had CMT. It effect her muscles, nerves and such. I didnt see her for her disability, but the wonderful lady she were on the inside. Sadly her 19 years of constant bullying had left its mark on her, and she didnt leave that at the doorstep, it killed our relations. We had been together for 4 years until I couldn't take it anymore. It wasent her disability, I knew what I was going in to. I was prepared to love her unconditionally for the rest of my life, adopt a kid, start our own little family. But again, she were too damaged. Therapy didnt help, let's just say it was a mess, and it still kills me. We were together for four years and we broke up 5 months ago. I know for a fact that she is back at being bullied, in the contry she came from. I feel like I let her down, but i knew i had to say stop for my own sake. I really hope she found the love of her life, there are wonderful people out there that sees you for who you are.
This is sad to read. I'm sure you've taken care of her and gave her all you could
Hi Sammy. Thanks for sharing your story. It has been the exact same for me. I knew I wouldn’t let him down because of the disability but that I wouldn’t want to stay because of it either. You have to stay because of love, not pity. I tried so hard for 11 years to make him happy, but his temper got worse and worse. I gave everything I had but it was not enough. As you said, he was too damaged...
I am sorry you had to live this painful experience as well. I want to acknowledge you for having the courage to leave in that situation. It’s so tough. I hope you will find some more love in your life. For me, it has been 2 years and I think I am ready to move on. Good luck. :)
Wow. I am so sorry. You're a brave a special kind of person xx
What a beautiful story. I am glad you found the strength to leave. You have a big heart. I hope you are doing better, and I sincerely hope she is doing better somewhere out there too.
you sound like my kinda person, so sad, understandable, poor woman, fukn bullies destroy lives, all the best
This video is not ideal for people suffering from mental health problems. If they see someone who has a better life or who's better looking, they will feel more deeply insecure. People are mostly afraid to go out in the real world and meet people because they feel insecure about the way they look or the way they would come across. They tend to doubt every single thing they might say or act upon; their anxiety is a huge block that limits the ways they want to approach people. Perspective, thus, is temporarily available, like you said. I think it's easy to see things from our own perspective and not from the eyes of those that are truly insecure in every single part of their lives.
Lonesome I have never related to something more I love ice skating so much but when I get to the ice rink I choke up all the people around I know that they aren’t watching me and don’t ever care that I’m there but I feel like even if I get on the ice people will judge me and everyone will stare at me and it’s such a big insecurity that I physically can’t bring myself to get on the ice
Lonesome this is my problem.... I’ll be a complete shut in soon enough
Ugh, you just described me. Thank you 💕😭😭😭
Lonesome - exactly! Thats why you go to a mental health professional instead. Like I am, I see a psychologist for Depression and anxiety, about 2 years ago i wasnt even brave enough to leave the house and walk down the street, for fear of being judged harshy kn my appearance etc. But fast forward now, i am going out and being more comfy talking to strangers and doing things that make me happy. And my perspective on my problems has changed, and now they seem so much smaller, than my mindset a few years back.
That wasn't the point, @Lonesome. The point was to think of someone who doesn't have what you have and who would do anything to get to your position. That makes you feel gratitude and gratitude fuels growth.
People with disabilities don’t like being seen as inspirational. They just have a different struggle and humans are very adaptable.
hey! I am also a disabled person. Though not on wheelchair and I avoid using artificial limbs. I am 30, and still never dated anyone, just because they see me as a responsibility. I try to be independent and seldom need help. even I am one of those who only go out with their parents. I have fallen for a guy who is a friend of mine . I can only text him. this is a long distance thing that is why we meet once a year. Somewhere, I have sensed that he has also fallen for me.
I hope things work out between you and your friend. I wish you luck Sriparna.
Kal Your Pal thank you. I hope the same.
good luck gorgeous x
(: thanks Mia
Good luck to you dear :) I'm in a long distance relationship too so i feel you and i've been always the girl who go out with her parents too . Wish you happiness and the best :)
I feel the same exact way as the woman. I am in a wheelchair too and I have been turned down because guys are afraid they would have to help me. I am pretty independent and when I need help I ask for it. I have felt like a burden to people and that is why I don't have a lot of dating experience. I'm in my 30s and I'm still trying to break out of that.
AKT86 You will find someone I'm sure. The more you date, the faster you'll find that guy who sees you for who you are: a person. Don't let you chin down because people have made you feel bad about yourself. I don't have a wheelchair, but I am clinically depressed and I have ptsd, and I have been made feel bad about it by a lot of people as well, very close people even people who I loved and that loved me. But I am just not going to accept that kind of treatment. I deserve to be loved and happy, just like anyone else and so do you. So never accept the burden that other people give you when they categorize you or stick a certain image on you. There is good and bad in everyone, so I'm not necessarily labeling those people good or bad, but a person who does that is not worth your time and this could certainly speed up the selection process for you when you date or meet new people. There is always hope and there are always people who we could match with, that if we are comfortable with ourselves and love ourselves completely, we will meet and we can have a friendship or romantic relationship with. Lots of love from Europe
I have a brother in law who had a really bad break up. He was depressed for like 2 whole years after his wife left him. One day, he walked out of work and there was a lady in a wheelchair and she was stuck in the snow and trying to get out. My brother in law went to help her and they started dating after that and got married shortly after. My brother in law is a really caring person and loves caring for his wife. I think he likes the fact that she is dependent on him for certain things because he knows that she won't leave him like his first wife. When I see them together, I see true love.
AKT86 awe I have known the same feeling!!! I was in a car accident & aside from being told I wouldnt use my arm again I couldnt walk without massive pain (often passing out) for 8 years. At the time of the accident I had just broken up with my boyfriend & you know he never once even came to visit? I died & came back the last surgery & was staying with his parents & he still didnt care. Then limping everywhere, unable to be active like others, getting stuck in the parking lot unable to walk. I even had a guy say "I'll give you a sympathy date". That was from age 28 to 36. Started my nonprofit in 2008 & wrote my first book. Today Ive recovered & I have my life back but I look for the deeper connection that surpasses things like health issues. I lost every single friend at the time cuz I was disabled and I did think "why would a man waste his time with me". But I was superficial cuz I didnt realize not all men are that shallow. I remember crying in the hospital saying I'll never get married with one arm. haha Now Im more concerned with finding a good guy :)
AKT86 also to add it is a great filter to find those who actually are there for the right reasons. You know if I met a guy with one arm Id probably like him even more now. :) I know a man who is like a dad to me, his wife cant do anything for herself and he loooves to take care of her. Its the sweetest thing in the world. Love is just love
AKT86 Sending you lots of hugs.You are beautiful❤❤❤
This brought me to tears… I am young woman in the wheelchair too…
Everyone should be loved, all of us deserve it…
And so do you Joanna!
I'm in a similar position. Lost my legs in Afghanistan, and now raising kids on my own. So it would be a huge responsibility for a woman if she accepted a relationship with me. I'm not in a rush though, just trying to work on and maintain myself, and the right one will come along when least expected. Thanks!
Childish Wisdom thank you for your service my brother
In my culture you'd have been married right away and they put the burden on her to take care of you.
Same as us Arabs.
Childish Wisdom sorry but can help you out
I want to be with a man like Matt👌 he is so pure and real compared to most people out there.
Rebsgold He is such a gentlemen❤!!
DiamondZoe He seems perfect on every level but it’s also kinda intimidating to date such a man because he’s been and done everything...
DiamondZoe He seems perfect on every level but it’s also kinda intimidating to date such a man cuz he’s been and done everything...
No such thing as a perfect man
I think...the best thing...is to care about yourself...first build yourself up...by making you look better..and feel better. ..then slowly other people will like you..just be a nice person...
I’m insecure about my self bc I’m ugly 😭 it’s that I’m ugly with or without filters 😭💔
People tell me that I’m not ugly but their trying to make me feel better but yet I know I’m ugly 😥 but all these videos about self confidence 💗are making me more confident about my self 😊
Reality_is Ugly me ti
I remember the first time I met a very great friend I now have in my life. She smiled ALL THE DAMN TIME! Her perfect straight white teeth were her best feature and she knew it. Everyone calls her Sunny because that's who she is. Not beautiful at all and she shines because she doesn't care about that. I watch people interact with her and everyone is their authentic selves with her. There is no pretense. It's amazing. I want to be more like her every day. That's real beauty. Her husband adores her too.
pic or didn't happen
Looks attract, but personality keeps. It may be a saying but it's true. I can tell you that I prefer a girl that is fun to be with way more, than a girl that is prettier but boring. I believe there is a soul mate, and until you find that someone you should enjoy the ride ;)
Same me too
All of us have insecurities with ourselves and that also happened in most relationships. Insecurities can ruin everything because we think we're not good enough but I tell you, you just have to see yourself in different perspective and focus on positive things you have because we tend to get jealous with everyone's life but looking to our life we didn't see that how blessed we are as a person.
Or just fix your insecurities... Have a big nose? Get a nose job. Plenty of ways to fix physical insecurities, believe me you can never truly get over them. Only way to deal with your insecurities is to fix them, you'll not only feel better but society will treat you better as a whole.
@@hiddentruths6961 What about non-physical insecurities...What if someone is insecure in their relationship...??Have you invented a way to fix it..??
@@hiddentruths6961 Society will treat u better if u have your nose fix...??So u mean someone becomes a bad person if there nose is cracked that society can't treat them better..??
The greatest gift we can give someone is to be real with them. Great job Matthew! ❤️
insecurities does ruin lives..
wonderful inspirational video.
This made me cry and a LOT. We complain soooo much, when we have things and situations in our favor. Nobody is really perfect and it's like Matthew say, it's all about perspective and have some gratitude. Thank you very much. Kinda need this today
😊❤️
The dude is just not fakeing . The finishes of the goals. Beautiful. Magisterial. Love you *Minslegend!.* .🙏🏼
Thanks for this Matt. Seeing you tear up made me realize a lot of people don't always put themselves in our shoes. When you're disabled everything is 10 times harder including dating. I have been disabled since I was 16. I am glad to say though my dating life does exist. My problem is for the guy to stay. I was recently dumped actually for being too much of a burden (he was promoted to captain in the army and said I can't be alone in the house, I can't drive, I wouldn't be able to take care of any kids if we had any etc). Being disabled this is one of my biggest fears and it came true. It crushed me in the beginning but you know what? I'm still alive and will still continue trying. I have only ever dated disabled so it's all I know how to do anyways. I do get more guys ghost/reject/ignore me as soon as I let them know I'm disabled but I hope it will get me closer to the man who will see me for who I am and not my disabilities. I do have to add though that he regretted breaking up with me but I didn't take him back. In the end I ended up being the emotionally stronger of the two (thanks to my disabilities lol) and decided its time to move on to the next chapter in my life :)
Xuxa_la_xicana thanks for sharing this :*
You go gurl 😘
I don't feel like i'm worth being loved. Too many bad experiences starting by my dad.
God bless you and all people suffering.
Love and light 🌸❤🌸
You could try meditating!
I have been healing those unworthy wounds as well. I have also come to realize my "dad" (I really dont like calling him dad) has his own unworthy issues too and his own childhood sexual trauma. I guide meditation to facilitate healing. If you would like to experience a guided personalized meditation. Email me mary@powerinlovinglife.com I will gift a 30min session to you.
♥️
Damn... this moved me to tears.
So i cried... how can i question myself after hearing that. her bravery and confidence in herself and her ability to know she wants to be with her friend is why i admire love. wow, best video yet. please thank her for me MH! thanks for sharing!
Still here, still surviving, still broken, But will stay hopeful, because my family didn’t raise me to quit no matter how much I hate myself atm I’ll keep fighting on like a soldier, I believe I’ll truly make it one day😪❤️
How refreshing to see a very handsome adult man admit that his hair is receding and it shows he's taking it casually, just as way of life. This is more than a date-coaching video. What a mature dude.
Came back to watch this video as I needed a kick in the butt. It's good to remember we are not the only ones on this world with issues and that someone has more to deal with and still tries.
I’m so sorry to God for always complaining I have so much and I’m truly thankful ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Matt you're the most beautiful gift every woman need 💗
Every man aswell
Ain Nur lol
@@afabulousguy4754 lol
yeah... I think women are here less for the superficial advice and more to gawk at the hot guy
I got divorced from abusive marriage 6 years ago and ever since I try to find another man.I am disabled also,feeling very lonely sometimes but I don’t loose the hope.Thank you for your emotional talk,your empathy with people makes you not only great person,which I am sure you are,but a great coach also.♥️
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes.
I was JUST looking at this other woman in my office, talking to the man I have had an emotional and physical relationship with and I was overwhelmed with jealousy and insecurity.
I kept trying to be logical but I quickly derailed into all of those self destructive thoughts.
So I got on UA-cam to look for something to snap me out of it.
This was the humbling that I needed.
This is my reality check.
A few weeks ago I had been in a wheelchair for 6 weeks due to surgery and I was shown a whole new perspective of how much I take for granted and just for how often we don't understand the struggle of others.
It changed the way I operate and made me
So much more aware of how I treat others.
I just needed this today Matt.
I am praying that the beautiful young lady you are referring to does in fact, find the love
Of her life. Anyone who truly loves you knows that all of us are worth the effort. Always. ❤️❤️❤️
I don't have a physical disability but I have anxiety and depression which has been a life long issue. I have good days but I have to keep in balance and it doesn't always happen. i have thought that who would want to deal with this even though I know I am a kind hearted person. Sometimes I get tired of it so why would another person want to deal with it. I think people do like me but hanging around and dating are two different things.
So you are saying you lost your job? Was it due to depression? and you boyfriend left you? I swear things come in threes sometimes. After I left my ex husband, my mom died. I used to say as a joke the Locusts are coming like in the Bible. I had to stop saying that because things kept coming.
Life tobelived That is exactly me ...Every day i think about that and feel absolutely lonely and terrified .. Depression, over thinking, OCD, bad temper, uncertainty and huge body image insecurity ....
Who would want to deal with that ?! Even I am fed with it ... I can't stand it ..
Geminilicious Wow do you think we are long lost sisters. That is my life. Mine is definitely genetic. I have also been battling with a hormone imbalance and some health issues after I had my gall bladder out. I just went to the meetup group today I just started organizing recently. I felt totally off, ended getting there late and couldn't quite keep from being out of sorts. Did watch a wonderful Japanese movie called Just Name. Anyway every time I do these things every insecurity comes out. We even had a member show up but he was too nervous to join the group so I found out later he sat near us. We didn't know until he messaged he enjoyed the movie and told us he was nervous. Really there are a whole bunch of out there but so many of us are too scared to admit. This was a man so I am pretty impressed that he admitted it. There are some really out going people and then there are the nervous ones. If you get angry a lot and it isn't because of some trauma get your hormones and thyroid checked. After i went into menopause all I had left was testosterone. It kind of explained why I was angry all the time with a high libido. Oh and by the way going with out a partner makes my fuse short and I have a very long fuse. the only thing that keeps me thinking about dating is going without sex is making me even more cray cray than normal.
YeJamalu Ulen if you go to the flip side of an anxiety, depressed person you will see the person who sees risk or pitfalls before other people thus avoiding dangerous situations emotionally or physically. We are like the canary in the mind we see things many times before other people do. Also, we are kind because we know how hard things can be and some people see this as a weakness that we are too kind hearted but it is actually a strength. We tend to be more creative and when we do form relationships they are very deep relationships.
Try to find a professional therapist but if you live somewhere there just isn't any therapist find a kind doctor to talk to or a wise person maybe even someone who is older. Many times people experience things that they just don't share unless they are asked. There is not point in ending it because there are better things a round the corner and to be honest you need to stay alive long enough to prove them all wrong. I am going to recommend a Korean drama that has subtitles. It is about an introverted, anxious recluse who is a CEO of a company who ran it from one room. No one liked him or understood him. Over time he was able to win people over but not before a tragedy of another sensitive person. Remember everyone has things they have to overcome we just don't know it. dramanices.com/drama/introverted-boss-detail
life to be believed I've been in a relationship with someone who has severe no polar and social anxiety with depression and was diagnosed with extreme paranoid delusions. I can tell you this much if a person loves you they will love every part of you. the good the bad and the hard. it definitely wasn't easy with him but I stood by and supported and loved him for who he was. flaws and all that is what true love is all about.
Matthew, I'll be honest... I wrote down two things that I generally label upon myself that I feel are incredibly unattractive about me before getting to watch the....more emotional part of the video. I wrote: anxiety, and over/under-whelming presence. I own that I look beautiful, I own that I have a great personality, and I own that I could date pretty much any guy and have beautiful relationships with these men. But I always feel like I fall short. I even just got dumped because a guy told me he loved me, but wasn't IN love with me. Ouch! But after hearing, "you've got it made!" my worldview shifted for a moment. I do: I've gotten therapy, and a better self-concept, AND I'm still exploring who I am, which is a tad bit scary.... I'm so often dependent on whether I'm loved, that that's all that I'll focus on, and ultimately drive everyone away. It's hard, but the more I am taught that it's okay to love myself, including the insecure, anxious me, including the me that can seem overwhelming or underwhelming in a given moment... the less of the ache of loneliness I feel, and the more warmth pours forth. I know I'm not in the greatest place right now, but I'm in tears from how grateful I am for watching your videos. That Mr. Right IS out there, and I'm continually improving myself for ME, and for a better fit to whomever he is out there. Thank you for instilling hope in me, that I really am worth it, and that life WILL get better.
Much love,
~Karissa
scary how I relate to every single word in this comment
As deep as this was, it does not help me just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean I should feel good now
Bruh is it bad I was watching the part where he was crying and I saw my reflection and I was just picking my nose so aggressively😂
Stones wtf bro 😂😂😂
LMAOSKKSKSKSK IM DED😂😂💀🤣😭😂😂
Howling
Oh yeah yeah
LMFAO
Everyone wants to be in a loving relationship
Once one chooses to be in a relationship it's call commitment to one another
This is why you're the king of dating advice. You look at women as human beings (unlike the condescending channels that simplify human relationships). You're lovely and deep. Thanks for treating us like humans.
You’re not a bad looking dude! Definitely stay confident bro!!! You definitely matter and inspire others to do the same. You’re great thank you so much.
I think your nose is your best feature!! And who cares if you lost your hair youd still look good. I can relate though I hate my nose at certain angles and it was crooked at birth. Im supposed to fix it but I dont want surgery. The dr said it looks like I was punched. And I also have a hairline that is strangely high, and lately Ive been showing my forehead and ugh pulling at my bangs lol!!! But you fall in love with a heart not a feature. So in the end none of that matters really. Id rather be imperfect than be perfect and worry about the moment Im not
Yes. .I feel insecure about my looks...but not so much about...the rest of me...because I am tall and slim...the best way to make a friend...is to let them know that you are a nice friendly person..who wants to help....and talk...
So powerful! while I was listening to what this woman was going through I felt that my insecurities were really absurd... sometimes we lose perspective about things
this was so powerful!!! thank you for sharing this!!
when i saw him be raw and emotional and actually cry, i instantly subscribed.
♥Our little insecurities blind us and prevent us from seeing the most important and wonderful things we already have.♥
Matthew: “I want to you think of 2 insecurit-“
Me: **List’s a bible’s worth of insecurities at once immediately**
Lolol
Copied joke
Same 😂
Hm
I could add a digit
The emotion is that of a true empath. He doesn't know what the other person's experience is like exactly because he has not lived it. But he has such a depth of character and sense of compassion that he tries to contemplate what her life is like. And he freely acknowledged that he could not imagine her life and he would not patronize her with the standard I understand how you feel. But he reached out and opened himself up. He gained perspective. We can bitch and moan about so many things. But then we see someone in a situation that is so much more powerful than where we are, it's important to open up and learn from the opportunity. To this beautiful soul he was speaking about, I wish you nothing but the best that life has to offer.
Sue,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!😍😍😍
i get what you mean. still, even if i know that there are people who have bigger problems than me, or who have more reasons than me to feel insecure, that doesn't change my mind. i'm still insecure and i probably will be forever
So sweet. I love how much you obviously care. I know that woman was in good hands talking with you. Thanks for the reminder to see my situation as it is, not worse than it is!
Laura Rodriguez you're beautiful
Emotions are always there something that can’t be control. I love being who I am . I am not denying myself at all. Don’t feel sorry for anyone just be who you are and those ppl who need help
Thank you... I needed to see this. Perspective and selfworth is key. I need to stop feeling bad about what I see in the mirror and realize that there’s nothing wrong with who’s looking back.
Love this video 🤗 I'm a dialysis patient and a bereaved mum to the most Amazing little boy... He was born without eyes and he taught me so much more than I could write here but Life's so Muchly more than the outside of our body 💙
Never put commercials in an emotional video
literally I got an ad saying 'do you wanna be a model?' 🥲
Who else cried?
Jonas Satiya me
I'm crying now 😭😭😭💔💔
Jonas Satiya me
Jonas Satiya no
Me
Your heart is so pure. I adore watching you, not just for advice but also because you are so genuine and a good person.
Cynthia Eckstine,you got a lovely smile!😍😍😊
Omg... Dude I HAVE SOOOOO MANY!!!😭
I am an 18 year old anti-social, depressed freak. I should b entering into the world right now but instead I am tryna hide away from it😔
Just want to put out there that your feelings are valid and just because you have it better than someone, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel down sometimes. Just for those people that obsess over the message that lots have it worse so they’re not allowed to be upset.
This was such a great video, putting yourself in other people's shoes.
Matthew, I would love if you could do a video on dating with acne and the insecurities that follows with it - would love your thoughts on it!!
I second that! Great idea.
"falling in love with your situation - falling in love with yourself " =YES!!!!
I was actually watching one of your videos when I got the notification for this one and it's just what I needed, thank you 💗
Yareli Salas you're amazing Goddess
Same here.
yareli .r
Hey, Camila is dating this guy! How awsome is that?! I just commented because if your picture lol
I'm your 200 likes enjoy
Such a great video! One I can somewhat relate to with my multiple sclerosis. for example some days I wake up and I can't walk or talk correctly, what's worse is that it's unpredictable, and I'm in not saying this to feel bad for myself or convince anyone else to feel bad. I feel as though I've gotten past the part of "grieving" over the loss of somethings that i cannot do or take part in anymore. Also I think it's beneficial to share your struggles with others to show that there is always someone worse off than you, and there is always a way to beat the thing you struggle with, whether it be in regrards to your insecurities or life struggles.
Specifically, something that I am insecure about is my limp caused from an injury that ended my basketball career in high school. I have had several surgeries in an attempt to fix this limp but in the end it always swells back up and the pain starts again. It has been several years and I have realized that some people don't notice the limp and the people that do like to hear about my passion for basketball among other things. Truth is sometimes I think that the insecurities that we have debilbitate us more than they are a reason someone may not like or be attracted to us.
:') You really touch my heart Matthew. I'm a single Mom with a two year old, and I struggle with some health problems. The man I love is younger than me. He is very focused on his career. And as much as he loves me back. It's overwhelming for him to be with me somedays because he feels he can't be the man I need and deserve right now. And he's not sure if he ever could be. It's a lot of responsibility to take care of a woman and young child, and he really loves what he does for a career and tends to be a bit of a workaholic.
I've been trying to comfort him that I love him, I believe in him, I trust him, I respect him, and if he doesn't want to be with me it's okay I will still love him and be supportive of his goals in life. And I tell him I'm not going anywhere. I'm sold out to him. I'm devoted. And it's ok that he has to focus on his career right now.
It seems like he's just falling deeper and deeper in love with me because every time I reassure him of this and he is relaxed rather than stressed about work, he starts talking about how much he wants to spend his life with me and he gets a boner. Lol.
I thought it was only women who needed a lot of reassurance but I guess men need it too sometimes.
Godspeed Matthew
Your adoring fan,
Chelsea
Thumbs up if you started crying the same time Matthrew did 😭
May Sal thumbs up if u think he was fake crying
I don think its fake crying , i choose to believe that he opened up emotionally and wanted to share his feelings with people.
The risk factor in faking things is high. I think he wants people to get along and love each other again in this semi-sick world. He sees the pain and so he does talks and lectures to connect with people to try to save the innocence. Yes he does look after himself, he says so himself, i dont think thats a bad thing.
What is this "crying" you speak of?
didn't cry I didn't watch I paused, have volume on mute, and look at the comments
In Islam our prophet Muhammad peace be upon him advised us to look to those who have less than you in order to value the things you have.
This is sooo true! We always forget the positive aspects of our lives, and then we see a video like this that reminds us of the chance we have..
You brought me to tears with this story Matt. I’m even more grateful now thank you for sharing this story with us. This is deep.
My boyfriend broke up with me because I was so insecure of my body
What a dick
Hands down this dude will be recognized as a goat.. this dude has literally saved my life..listening to his work and job I can relate to it.. *minslegend* keep it up and thank you for your talent... 💯.
my heart just shattered...Matt you are an honest lovely natural man..
I've seen Matt become emotional but this video was THE ABSOLUTE BEST! Your work is needed and you do it so well. Thank you so much!
This made me cry. I need this.thank u and God bless you more.
That nose of his gives him the sexiness in the cute face
Calamity Tina you legit made me keep focusing on his nose😲
I don't get it lol
Legz 4 Dayz fr tho 😹😹
Yes!
Mikha'el 777 omg yess
Beautiful. Takes a bit to tear me up, but you managed! Please ask her to keep you (and us) updated on her progress with this friend. I really want to hear she got the guy.
This makes me cry for a lot for many reason. I have been insecure because people judge me by the way I look and it makes me sad that people only see the beauty in appearance and not in deep in their hearts. I realize that people words can hurt a lot, and I tried to stay strong but it’s not that easy. The point in this is that your important and I love you even do I don’t know you, you are beautiful just the way you are :)
Alright this better this cure my depression
Actually perspective has a habit of making depression worse since its a reason people don't seek help despite needing it
words can not express how connected i felt with this video.
thank you to the girl who won the skype call. thank you for being the wonderful you that you are.
I lost my arm because of an illness. I was so scared. Turnes out my dating life is literally the same as before. I have Guys who want to be with me and I go trough heartbreaks like everybody else. Don't let your insecurities decide what you do and what not. You are worth it and with a little confidence you can get everything you want. Trust in it.
Shit Matt. Good video. One of your few male subscribers! I enjoy perspective even though I'm not the targeted audience!
xxWindsxx I wish more men would watch these videos!
thisyearsgrl88
Fair enough!
xxWindsxx in this particular video, everybody is the targeted audience :)
another male viewer, at least im not the only one :)
i love this guy, his vids are always enriching.
Im a guy who purchased Matt's online course and learned a lot about myself.
...this is not hate but for me it feels like hes saying that somebody always has it worse. so you shouldn't be insecure about yourself. For me its like just to a depressed person you shouldn't be sad, someone has it worse.
rocking gal somebody does have it worse so ya def suck it up ... basically be grateful.... no harm in thinking this way
Think of it the positive way..it’s about perspective and being grateful.
being grateful doesn't always automatically fix everything though. I'm grateful for my job, but it brings out my insecurities. Someone has it worse yes, but how does that fix my insecurities and in turn my performance. That's something I need to work on myself, for myself. I know somebody probably has it worse, but that doesn't magically fix my own insecurity.
Maria yes exactly
you focus on what you have and are grateful and stop focusing on the insecurities lol it really does work once you have turned it into a habit.
I'm insecure because I've been treated badly in the past and now I am sooo guarded that I can't let anyone get close to me....it's a shame...I have so much love to give...😢
Maria A,I admire your pretty smile ☺️
I'm very insecure about the way I look
And judjed by people😥😞😭😢😢😢😢😢😢
H Bhatt How so?
I don't know but it pissed me off
H Bhatt Who cares what people think? You're probably never gonna see them again. If they don't like you because of your appearance they are NOT worth your time.
Thnxx, you are right
Don't give a shit about em
Thanks Matt I'm in a wheelchair too!
I'd love to talk
Xav Jones Oh Jesus. This guy! Lmao!
@@rainbowhollywisdom681 you looking gorgeous 🌹🌷🌺🌺