Steven Seagal needs to stop. They barely show his face in this |So Bad It's Good #70 - Submerged
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- Опубліковано 15 лис 2024
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The Steven Seagal misery continues with SUBMERGED. You'd think it was a movie about a puffy actor on a submarine, but you would be worng. I can't acctually tell you what this is about. And I don't really care. They dub his voice, hide his face, and barely let him move in this pile.
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I recently lost my left leg above the knee. Probably going to lose the right one soon too. I obviously am not as active as I used to be, and I look forward to Sundays to watch your movie reviews. For what it's worth, I appreciate what you do. Thanks
Oh, man. I'm really sorry to hear that. I wish I could do more than get drunk and shit on Seagal for you.
Hope you find the strength, hope and peace you need to live with your new life. Disabilities can often feel like a lonely place where no one understands your pain. My thoughts are with you.
Man that's awful! So sorry that is happening to you. Stay strong man!
Im pullin for ya man hang in there
Bro, I’m also pulling for you 💪🏽💪🏽👍🏼 stay strong dude !
Apparently, there was originally a scene where Vinnie managed to hit Seagal in a fight but it was written out of the movie because Seagal claimed that audiences wouldn't believe that someone like Vinnie could ever land a punch on him. Vinnie was so pissed at Seagal's arrogance that he nearly fought Seagal on set.
Wow, arrogant indeed. No freaking wonder Vinnie got pissed, someone with less restraint wouldn't have nearly fought Steven, but instead just beat all the shit outta him. Man really believes he's the character that he plays in these assshows lol
Vinnie notorious for his temper back when as well 😂 Seagal's probably lucky the rest of the crew talked Vinnie down
Your reaction from seeing Seagal run for a few seconds is the same reaction a father has when they see their baby walk for the first time. Great stuff.
🤣 🤣
Timestamp please.
Living in Russia & Granted Russian Citizenship by PUTIN Himself.
Omg at least my kiddo has more balance.... 🤔
Seagull has that same bowlegged stagger a baby has...
From what I've read, Seagal ruined this one, as he does with most of the productions he's involved with.
The original script was a horror film based on a submarine. Seagal decided to change that mid filming. The director wanted to quit but couldn't afford to.
He ruins everything.
I think you mean he "seagalled" it 😁😁😁😁😁
@Diego Brando a generic action movie the only kind of movie he does.
@@JasonBrant The director as well as the production crew also didn't know what they were doing once they started filming. They also didn't have script at that point and the mind control part was added in and created during the last week before shooting. Way to go, Seagal.
That's a shame, because horror movies set on submarines can be really good. "Below" is a great example of this.
Did you know Seagal has bobble heads and action figures from his old movies? They move more than he does
He does? I might have to get my hands on one of those.
I own a above the law action figure but lost the gun
@@JasonBrant cheapest Above The Law figure on eBay is like $50, before s&h. Depends on how.......bad(?) you want one hanging on your wall, or on your shelf.
I think as much as they’ve done Seagal, the action figure is required. They’ve talked more about Seagal than Seagal has talked in his movies. They move more in their chairs or to get beer than Seagal does in his movies. They need one
Living in Russia & Granted Russian Citizenship by PUTIN Himself.
Sensei Seagal is the gift that keeps on giving.
This movie looks like they took all of the rejected takes from his last five movies and spliced them together.
🤣 🤣
He really is. Seaguls complete lack of self awareness and full-on not giving a shit. He's a living SNL skit.
That’s all of them I thought?
Living in Russia & Granted Russian Citizenship by PUTIN Himself.
@@Jeudaos i think i remember reading he hosted snl back in the day and was one of the worst hosts for being unfunny and full of himself lol 🤣
As I remember it, this was the first movie where I looked at Seagal and thought "Hey, he's fat!" Also, his treatment of Gary Daniels in that movie is criminal : that guy is an amazing martial artist and Seagal kills him in 10 seconds as if he were just another faceless extra. Daniels complained in an interview that they were supposed to do a spectacular fight scene with an elaborate choreography, and he was looking forward to doing it... And then Seagal took over the choreography and turned it in what we can see on screen. Talk about a waste of resources !
Total waste. Seagal sucks.
@@JasonBrant he sucks NOW, he was ok in the early 90s lol
@@treatwomenright33 no he was assaulting women in the 90s also. There's no defending that buffoon
He was never OK.... his older movies are borderline slapstick ... even when someone else is in charge and other competent actors are around him it's a chaotic mess with the only redeeming quality being the humor
I thought that Daniels was misused in Expendables, but this is criminal.
I love the gradual transition from "creative" to "incomprehensible." I feel like a lot of these directors might be reachable. They did straight to video projects twenty years ago, so they should still be alive, but not super expensive to interview over Zoom or something. Go for it! Your efforts will be remembered in the Steven Seagal Historical Library. "Is he going to snatch his birthday?" is a great line, even if Seagal delivered it wrong, in a nonsense accent.
I think I'm gonna reach out. See what happens.
@@JasonBrant I hope you have luck, and find out wtf!
Expensive? They should be free if they a sense of humor. $50 if they and they’re desperate for cash.
Living in Russia & Granted Russian Citizenship by PUTIN Himself.
"Are you not entertained?"
"Typically no"
LMAO
🤣 🤣
that newspaper scene just killed me.. haven't seen that since an old episode of Get Smart. lol
The only way Seagal gets away with that thing he thinks is an accent is always being thousands of miles away from anyone that knows what a Southern accent actually sounds like
🤣 Absolutely.
You aint neva know how to check yo six
i think is his mind he talks like foghorn leghorn, really cool. right.
Even then, they know it’s ridiculous. Just like everyone knew Ali G’s accent was ridiculous.
@@The_ZeroLine but here’s the thing. Ali G’s accent being ridiculous was the POINT. Seagal is legit doing this unironically.
From IMDB trivia on this movie:
"The hostility between Seagal and Canadian actor William Hope was very real. It started when Hope was approached by people in Bulgaria asking for autographs due to Hope being in the classic Aliens, while Seagal was completely ignored and made fun of. Seagal started to use every little thing to torment Hope, including complaining that Hope was feeding stray cats on set, which was an admirable thing, but not for Seagal, who complained that cats were giving him allergy. Crew members then mixed cat feces with Seagal's meals every opportunity, in short amounts so he wouldn't notice, and for the rest of the shooting, he ate food mixed with cat feces and urine, and never once noticed or complained."
I look forward to experiencing another bad Seagal movie with you (after the fact). It’s like you’re shining the light on a part of cinema that Hollywood wants to forget about. Like a family that’s full of law enforcement and that one in-law that’s a crack addict. “We don’t talk about him everyone”
Haha, he definitely seems forgotten in Hollywood.
@@JasonBrant That’s for best for the general public. But it takes away an episode or two for you and your friends. But that would save some of your sanity. I’m torn!
Shame. I thought he'd be more well known after Executive Decision ( 1996) with that Hollywood ensemble cast.
Living in Russia & Granted Russian Citizenship by PUTIN Himself.
Seagal should honestly continue to do this movies. This way we can always laugh in a bad day.
He hasn't released a movie in three years, so the train might have derailed.
Living in Russia & Granted Russian Citizenship by PUTIN Himself.
@@ajoe6637 Hopefully he stays there. Maybe putin can use him as a meat shield in ukraine fingers crossed.
@@ktheterkuceder6825 that'd be bad for Ukraine... you cannot beat the seagull, not even NATO...
@@BerryFunChannel1 Steven is that you?
I’ve got to say I like how the DVD cover felt it was important that we all knew Vinnie Jones was playing a guy called Henry.
The legendary character Henry. You must have heard of him.
@@JasonBrant Yep Henry the famous Vacuum Cleaner with the smiley face
Your guy's genuine excitement when you saw Seagal run was hilarious. With as many questionable choices they made part of me is surprised they didn't just have him walk and then speed it up in editing. Thanks for the laughs, it's much appreciated.
If they sped up his walking, I might die. That's hilarious.
This was like early 2000's, Seagal was chunky but wasnt a complete human blob just yet. He could still do a little light jogging.
@@JasonBrant ...just add the Benny Hill comedy music...
Best line ever on this show!!!
“I heard a knife.”
🤣
I know it would never happen, but if you got a director to sit in the third chair and watch one if their movies with you, that could be interesting. Being able to ask questions in real time. Especially with the Seagal movies.
I'd love to do that. That's a great idea.
This is awesome! Would have been even better with Seagal holding his disguise-newspaper upside down 🤣
🤣 🤣
I reckon we got the real feeling of how Vinny felt about seagull just by looking at his face when he was holding the newspaper looking at the target.. look at Vinnie's face and you'll see wtf written all over it.
The extended slow zoom in on Brian's face when you dropped the Baldwin line had me cracking up! Another awesome video!
Thanks!
This channel is top tier. I was crying from laughter when i saw your faces when all the cuts and editing were happening. That news paper moment is insane and just beyond.
Thanks, Jack!
It looked like Team America models when I saw the drone! He’s the gift that keeps on giving!
Truly amazing.
The reason the Vinnie Jones fight scenes were shot so much better was because Vinnie Jones can actually move.
I've worked as a stunt man in film, so maybe I can shed a light on the "very cool moments vs awful movie" dilemma. Usually production gets together different teams for different "departments" within a movie, if you will, and many of them are outsourced specialized independent ongoing crews and teams. If the stunt crew and stunt coordinators are really good, an awful script and/or director is gonna make it harder but they will shine nonetheless. The same goes for the action practical effects crew (the guys that crash cars, blow up stuff, etc), who work really close with the stunt crew. Imo, this production had a very good stunt crew and coordinators and action practical effects crew, which are the ones that are more frequently outsourced, but the rest of production and post was awful. A good stunt crew can even make shitty actors do cool stuff while filming, such as shooting as if they knew what they were doing. So that's it: awful production blessed with awesome stunt and action practical effects crews.
“Is he gonna snatch his birthday?” Is the funniest thing I’ve heard today. Ty guys.
🤣 🤣
I want to imagine that the movie being titled 'Submerged' is supposed to be a double entendre because of the sub at the beginning of the movie and the mind control stuff. However, this movie looked like it suffered from rewrites or something because at one point the movie made no sense even from the clips y'all showed.
Regardless, laughing at a Steven Seagal movie is a treasure so thank you for giving up your time to succumb to these cinematic enigmas.
I watched the movie and edited the episode and I still don't understand the plot.
I love how these guys have the same energy for a sweet car chase or crazy stunt as they do for Steven Seagal doing a mild jog.
2 minutes in the movie and it's already hilarious. The Toy Plane made my day😂, keep doing what you guys are doing because it's great. I can't believe Segal is my fathers favorite Actor if you can call this acting🤔🤔🤔😂😂😂
Thanks! Does your dad like his new stuff?
@@JasonBrant i would like to say no but yes he does actually 🙈. I tried to convince him to watch one of your videos and he gave it a chance and he laughed so much but still, there is no way he's gonna stop watching Segal movies! He told me, your reactions to the movies are great and funny
I trust a wooden metal detector about as much as a cardboard MRI machine. That said, I trust both over Seagal's accents.
Agreed on all points.
Gary Daniels said in a interview the fight was supposed be longer but Seagal cut it down on the day made it shorter & one sided in his favour.
Director Anthony Hickox clashed with Seagal on the movie & Seagal walked hence his dubbing for half the movie, apparently Seagal turn up late do one take & leave.
The script was completely different & was a creature feature like Deep Rising with Seagal playing a washed up drunk captain Seagal at last minute changed a fair chunk as he hated the script.
Seagal a lazy actor he ain't got the charisma of Dolph Lundgren, Scott Adkins or JCVD.
4 decent DTV Seagal films Urban Justice, Pistol Whipped, The Keeper & Driven To Kill the rest are poor.
A hilarious reaction, I fear for your sanity watching these awful Seagal movies.
P.S Waddle always cracks me up.
Jesus. That explains a whole lot of the nonsense seen here. I also fear for my sanity.
I like them big
I like them chunky 🎵
Attack Force had similar problems as it was originally a sci fi film with aliens but changed them into gangsters in the final cut
Huh?
I didn't mind Into the Sun so much. That's one of the better one's of his DTV era.
I think the wheels fell off the Seagal bus when all these stories started to come out from some of his co stars about how much of a bell-end he was on set. Also, looking at Vinnie's face here, this must've been before someone sucker punched him with a bottle in a bar. He has a scar on his nose, surgeon did a good job by all accounts. Another enjoyable episode, where's the other guy? he reminds me of Nick Frost from Shaun of the Dead.😄👍
I didn't know that about Vinnie. That's wild. Dave will return in a few weeks!
My and my wife watched this is in a theater so I think this might be one of the last of his movies that did get a theatrical release. Yes, it was really confusing in the theater too. Yes, we were almost alone in the theater. If you want to know what directors think of Seagal, Red Eye Reviews has an interview with Titus Paar, director of Steven's only sfi-ci movie "The Perfect Weapon".
I'll check that out after we watch the movie. I'm really curious.
A follow up show where you interview someone from the previous movie is definitely something I would watch- Segal or no!
Thanks. I'm seriously mulling it over.
@@JasonBrant the channel red eye reviews does similar vids to yours and a director of a seagal movie was in the comments, then he got him on the channel to talk about the movie and how much of a dick seagal is 👍🏻
Stumbled on your channel a while back and it's brought absolute delight to my days recently. If you could pull off interviewing some of these directors so we could get some insight into what they think of their final products it would be amazing! Just to hear an explanation for that dubbing would be gold. Keep doing what you're doing man, I appreciate the hell out of it! And until Steven seagal takes away my birthday, cheers!
Thanks, Shawn! I'm strongly considering interviewing some of these people.
"Seagal is going to eat all of them" LMAO, I'm done!!!
🤣 🤣
fun(?) fact: the manchurian brain-wash guy from the beginning is the kid in the Queen music video "the miracle".
Really?
yeah. feel old yet? haha. he's also a regular tv villain, but that's not that impressive.
You guys have convinced me to actually watch a Segal movie from beginning to end - I reckon you guys make me laugh even more than Segal will. Have a good night! Love your humour🤣
Thanks! Good luck with one of these dumbass Seagal movies.
Funny thing is the original script was supposedly great and it was made to be like The Thing on a submarine this was suppose to be a creature feature and they had designed the creatures to be crab like....and then Steven Seagal came on board and said "I've decided I don't like aliens and I don't like monsters. I don't want to be in a monster movie". According to Hickox, Seagal said he liked the script but three weeks before shooting was to start Seagal called him and said "I don't think this movie should be on a submarine" Director Anthony Hickox said "that's why it ended up like it did. We had no clue what we were doing: no script, and the whole mind control thing in the final film was made up the last week before shooting! It was really insane. At that point, again I should have quit, but I needed the cash." Which probably has been the feeling of every Director that's worked with Seagal since after the millennium.
What a douche. That story doesn't surprise me at all, even though it's bat shit.
I feel like Segal wanted to make a soft core porn called submerged...but then his manager finally convinced him to just do another action movie.
That wouldn't surprise me 🤣
@@JasonBrant any poor woman who stars in THAT one.......
Lol at DVD "with Vinnie Jones as Henry"
Ah yes, one of the most iconic movie characters in movie history, Henry.
Seagal is proof that it's hard to keep a good man down... literally, you can't keep him Submerged. That scene in the raft when the submarine explodes the salt water was practically levitating his fat ass. The other characters could of just clung to him like a buoy.
Seagal is the raft 🤣 I love it.
@@JasonBrant if only they had Segal in the titanic movie instead of the door...
Omfg lol
@@raphmaster23 The only problem is the raft might of eaten the Titanic passengers if no one came to the rescue soon enough. Seagal hungry!!!
Now that I think about it I believe Seagal would be better cast as the iceberg, though that could make the obligatory sex scenes even more awkward.
@@raphmaster23 they did.. didn't you see under siege.. the stripper in the cake was his Kate Winslet
One thing you have to appreciate about seagull movies is the amount of work the prop guys do. They break a lot of shit, glass, tables doors... it's not terribly expensive but even all that little stuff adds up.
I was excited when I clicked on this reaction and realized something. I don’t get even remotely excited for Steven Seagal movies but I get very excited watching you guys watch a Seagal movie.😂 How could Erin miss this outstanding movie? The horrible southern accent, terrible voice dubbing and patented waddle make this movie hilarious.
Cheers!🍺👍🏻
That's high praise. Thanks so much. I'm gonna make Erin watch the next Seagal movie.
At last, my wish has happened, you guys just crack me up so cheers, I was chuffed when I seen you done another one on gravy blood. The greatest hero of our times, Stephanie seagal.
No one is better than Sifu.
Jason's reaction to Seagal's fake Southern accent alone was worth the price of admission! Love what you guys do. Keep it coming!
Thanks, Brandon!
9:04 I just love the guy on the right who is shooting at the boxes. That's me on the job, trying to look busy enough so that no one notices that I am not doing anything. Amazing, what a flick.
The next time I go to a fancy restaurant, I'm just going to leave my sunglasses on, waddle all the way to my booth, and speak in an incomprehensible pseudo-Southern accent the entire time.
Seriously though, Seagal has to have a mad amount of debt to have churned out these gems for the last 20 years, or so.
I'd love to know the story behind the accent. It's perplexing.
@@JasonBrant He also has a side project as a Blues Musician, apparently.
True. I wonder if half of them would be decent films if Seagal would just shut up, stop changing things and do what the director tells him to do; also stop shoehorning(?) strip clubs in the movie
I laughed so hard when you said "Seagal is gonna have to eat all of you."
Absolutely amazing commentary guys! Twice while watching this I almost did a spit take with a mouth full of food. We all appreciate the sacrifices you guys make watching these horrid movies. “STOP CULTIVATING AND START HARVESTING!!” 😂😂. Seagal’s “military” expertise but have failed him when he showed a 60 year old MIG firing an air to air missile from 15 feet away. He also must have forgotten that the 9mm MP5 platform was replaced years ago by exponentially harder hitting weapons systems and having an MP5A2 as part of your kit in any sort of rural operations is just nonsense. I feel like the further down the fake accent hole we go, the more insane he gets, it also seems like Mac’s personality from the seasons where he’s fat is spot on to what Seagal is actually like 24/7.
You nailed it! Seagal is fat Mac!
Honestly all Brian needs is a bad wig, and he is Sifu Seagull. (Misspelled on porpoise). Aren't I so funny...
Great video guys! A lot of fun. Best part, for me, was when Alec Baldwin was mentioned.
Thanks!
@@JasonBrant I couldn't make out your dialogue there, had to turn on subtitles, it said Al Pauldron, hence an earlier comment I made.
He has the finger on the trigger on the video cover. But the gun is clearly on safe. That combination is bizarre on so many levels.
Sifu doesn't worry about safeties.
Sundays are my favorite because of you guys! Also Steven Seagal is just so awful that he is hilarious and it is amazing! The same reasons I enjoy horror films.
I'm a huge horror fan. It's the majority of what I watch.
@@JasonBrant my daughter and I both are. Whenever I give her the option she wants to watch a horror film. Her favorite currently is Chucky the more recent one.
Living in Russia & Granted Russian Citizenship by PUTIN Himself.
Vinnie Jones eh? I mean everyone needs a paycheck I guess...
But given the man's history, I'd be surprised if he holds Sifu Seagull in high regard.
Dude is such a damn hard-man, that during his soccer career he was so violent that just glaring at opposing players could scare them off their game.
I pray every day that I never find myself on the wrong side of Vinnie Jones.
"I remember when I used to watch good movies." 😂
I barely remember those days...
@@JasonBrant Tbf you're gonna run out of shit movies soon, aren't you? ... Good God I hope you say no 😂
@@roryslaine7896 I have hundreds in the queue.
@@JasonBrant ... Fuck. It's good for our entrtainment but you're getting the shaft 😂
Didn't know Matt Mercer played in a Seagal movie!
As a future film to view, may I suggest "Ticker"? It was released in 2001 so it's still close to his classic movies but still part of his Direct to Video period.
Also the movie was shot in 16 days, 8 of which had Seagal on set and 1 day that Dennis Hopper was, and he never met most of the cast while filming.
Also Seagal plays 2 characters, tell me if you see his cameo character.
Hadn't heard of that before today. I'll review it as soon as I get my hands on a copy.
@@JasonBrant looking forward to it
I remember that one, think Tom Sizemore was in that as well
@@bal5884 yup. And Peter Greene & Jamie Pressley
Jazz Cat band member (in hat and fake mustache)
That shot of the toy is terrible. But what is it that makes it stand out as a fake? Many movies used models, but they never stuck out like this
A: "Either this script was an incomprehensible mess."
B: "...or Seagal Seagal-ed it..and made it an incomprehensible mess."
C'mon Jason, who know full well that when given these choices, the answer is -
C: All of the above
Fair!
13:08 - 13:15
Trademark Seagal "Fat man throws enemy into shit so it makes noise" move.
Seagal's angry, expletive laden, lard scented reaction beeped out by Barbarian sound effects.
Jason and Brian, shocked Pikachu faces at the bacon filled tirade.
My eyes teared up, it was too much. I was done for about five minutes.
I go to the description for your Patreon link and it's NOT THERE! Every other link is but the Patreon is not, and I laugh a bit more😂.
Damn it! Can't believe I forgot that. Added it to the description - thanks 🤣
RE: Seagal and rehearsing... You are correct, he has no time for that shit. Or blocking, or anything to do with effort before actual shooting. Tom Arnold talks about a scene he filmed with Seagal on a houseboat for "Exit Wounds" (2001). Seagal refused to do any rehearsing or blocking and argued for 45 minutes with the director about it. The director finally acquiesced, and they tried filming the scene without rehearsals or blocking, which resulted in Seagal leaving through a door that led straight to the water.
Tom Arnold swears that he could see the sharpie ink that Seagal used to fill in his hairline rising to the surface of the water.
ua-cam.com/video/dhITLxD595c/v-deo.html
Now that's hilarious. And backs up every shitty theory I have about him 🤣
@@JasonBrant I just watched the link, f ucking hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
"The targets gunna be right about hyuh, I tell yuh hwut."
"Dammit Bobby!"
His accent is killing me.
I miss Erin when she's not here, but y'all are on point as always. I love how excited you got when Segal 'ran'. That was a look of genuine surprise and joy, and it gave me a good belly laugh. But the movie itself is almost unwatchable with how dark and poorly shot it is.
Erin will return next week!
Agree! More Erin.
@@JasonBrant And what about her bare feet? A friend is asking, I mean.
He ran pretty fast in Out For Justice but saying that he was thin as a bean pole then
@@mareklame8589 foot fetish huh???I can't lie I notice that alot too when she is on screen.cute feet.i know that makes me sound like a freak but I'm just a weak man and she is cute
I love that the most impressed you were, were when seagal did a short jog!
I grew up with seagals decently good movies and i loved him, didn't watch any for years, came back to people hating him, then i watched some stuff and yeah... way to ruin everything seagal, i am surprised how he got away with so much stuff!
Steven Seagal hiding his face with a newspaper reminded me *a lot* of the "Old Man" in Plan 9 From Outer Space covering his face with his cape after Bela Lugosi died and they got a chiropractor that looked nothing like Lugosi to finish his scenes.
Also - Doing a frame by frame review circa 22:14, I'm confident the "stunt woman" is actually a dude.
I agree - that was a dude. Still awesome though.
@@JasonBrant It was pretty dope.
How can ten bad guys, with automatic weapons, miss a target as wide as Seagal?
Hell...he's a Ruskie now.....you are wasting time on a non-entity.
Entertaining video as always. Want some trivia? I got trivia.
So. According to the director and co-writer Anthony Hickox, the movie was originally supposed to be about aliens invading a submarine that was stuck at the bottom of the ocean. He got Seagal on board... and then three weeks before shooting began, Seagal said he didn't want to be in a monster movie, forcing numerous rewrites - that's why there's a random Opera scene... because Seagal said he wanted one. They only came up with the whole 'mind control' thing the week before shooting began. The only reason Hickox didn't leave production was because he needed the money.
As for why Seagal is dubbed so much? It's because, despite all the rewrites done to satisfy him, he left the film due to some SEVERE disagreements with Hickox. Since Seagal wasn't around to do the dubbing, they just got someone else to do it. It's seamless, I'm sure you'll agree.
Also, the fight between Seagal and Gary Daniels (who, as you pointed out in the video, is an actual martial arts expert) was supposed to be much longer with both fighters being more evenly-matched, allowing for a flashier fight scene overall. Seagal, however, didn't like that, so re-did the choreography on the day, making it much shorter... and one-sided.
Reading this makes me hate him even more 🤣 What a tool.
Watching your reactions on YT it's easy enough to know what's happening most of the time even though you've had to edit most of the film out, but wow I didn't know what was happening in this haha. You seemed to be struggling too and you watched it in full. I think Seagal got shunned by Hollywood in the late 90s. If you watch his stuff from before that, they're pretty entertaining, he had great fights and he could move. He just seems like an arsehole and I think actors and directors in Hollywood got sick of him.
This one was really hard to follow. It made zero sense.
“Making them watch other Segal movies” (when they show the guy screaming with eye speculums on) was the perfect joke. Well done! That was my thumbs up queue!
He killed it with that one.
@@JasonBrant honorable mention is when he responded to your comment of “he’s a pretty fat guy to be in the military” by stating that “it’s a pretty large ship.” You guys are awesome.
Jason and Brian going through another Seagal torture for our amusement. It is greatly appreciated :D
Glad you enjoy our suffering.
The black lady in this movie, she was in an episode of Doctor Who
When you were wondering when Vinnie died, he was the one that fell from the balcony and hit the one under it on the way down. "Someone" shot him at 22:01. If you pause it there, you can see it is clearly him, but never shows who actually shot him. But, at 22:02, it looks like Seagal is putting his pistol away, as if HE just shot him. And I love at 22:44, the car's background is all over the place, but Seagal isn't even moving the steering wheel. That part reminded me of the "Airplane" scene when Leslie Neilson is driving and the background is flying everywhere, inside buildings, chased by horses in the Old West, train tracks. lol.
This fraeking movie is mind boggling. I just... damn it.
@@JasonBrant Just did a little research on your history of Seagal torture. Maybe you can explain how these movies keep getting financed. As far as I can tell, you have reviewed 9 SS movies. Here is the breakdown I was able to find:
TITLE / BUDGET / BOX OFFICE
A Good Man / $7M / $458,223
Contract To Kill / $5M / $7,058
Sniper: Special-Ops / $5M / $21,701
Submerged / $10M - $15M / $20,813
Against The Dark / $6M / $83,054
Born to Raise Hell / $5M - $10M / (So low they refuse to release it)
Kill Switch / $5M / $382,084
Attack Force / $4M / $53,564
Attrition / $3M / (producers refuse to say)
Total Movies Reviewed: 9
Total Budget: $50M - $60M
Total Box Office: $1,026,497
Is he really so deluded that he finances these movies himself and sees these box office totals and still keeps going, anyway? if not, does someone else love him so much they just, literally, throw money in the garbage, knowing they wont even get back (on average) 1/50th of their money back??
The thing about Seagal movies that always pisses me off is he literally *NEVER GETS HIT* . I know he thinks he's the biggest badass out there but make it somewhat believable
Those toy looking planes at the beginning made me think of the plane models from the Thunderbirds show lol
Seriously!
Seagal's hair is like steel wool that was fished out of an oil spill.
@7:02 lmaooo I was laughing soo hard 🤣. And your guys reaction was hilarious, ""What the hell happened?""
"Right about here"😂😂😂😂😂
"There is some sick shit up in here alligator"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Seagal is just playing with us now.
He is so self righteous that he declared himself as the antidote.
The phone the bad guy had that you guys mentioned is a Nokia! My dad used to work there and would bring home lots of different phones. We still have this one in a drawer at my parents house. You could run legit all Microsoft Office stuff on it and back in the day that was pretty legit.
That's really legit. The phone looked bad ass.
Lmfao Jason is God damn Daredevil (screen black ⚫) " I think I heard a knife... someone's neck broke."
🤣 🤣
Really no need for the jacket and the sunglasses. The fact you're sitting down is already a pretty spot on Seagal cosplay. I imagine you're probably about as good at martial arts as him too!
*ooh shots fired*
Haha, I love it!
Gravy is Seagal's favorite beverage.
Does he say "Alligator" after saying "There's some sick shit up in here" 😆 🤣 😂
WHY do they have to dub Steven Seagal VOICE what some days he can’t speak or something?
He mumbles gruffly to sound cool and it's so bad the mics can't pick up his voice and he refuses to do ADR
@Jason Brant Just found your channel. The first video I watched you made up the worst possible ending and it came true. I will keep my eyes open for other signs of the paranormal.
Would be great if they had one shot of Seagal walking a street in broad daylight, but he's somehow all shaded except for his eyes like in any other scene.
I'm about to watch Mercenary: Absolution and i plan on doing that with your comments from throughout the seagul-llylist in mind. Some wadles, some mumbling and a lot of sitting without a doubt. I'm looking forwards to this, you guys learned me a new way of watching movies, thanks!
22:48 is my favorite part. "They gonna snatch his birthday?" Gold
"it's some sick shit up in here alligator 🐊". Lol best line ever.
The way they try to hide his body using shadows and camera angles is insane! At least they didn't stretched his body like in A Good Man!
The bar is so low, that this movie scores points for not stretching him. It's true and it's hilarious. But... in editing I thought I noticed a few shots where they played with the aspect ratio 🤣
14:36 min You can actually see paint chipping off the wood! LOL 🤣 awesome!
They have freaking Gary Daniels in this movie, and they kill him off early.
“Cultivating mass.”
😄 you both are freakin’ awesome.
Budget
$15,000,000
Gross worldwide
$71,915
Love how they keep Segal in the dark like Brando in Apocolypse Now 🤣
18:06 That got me.
The intense stare then the sigh 😩lol
You know those Lego movies and games? It seems the older and fatter Steven Seagal gets the more he looks like a Lego version of himself.
19:05 "think of the research I could fund"
As a grad student I feel that in my bones
HIGH ACTION disjointed cutscene
Brian: Woooow!
Jason:
🤣