Steven Seagal movies broke me. I can't take much more | So Bad It's Good
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- Опубліковано 31 гру 2022
- Ad-free, uncensored, full-length reviews ► / jasonbrant
This Seagal nonsense has to stop. Each movie is worse than the last. My mind has cracked from watching so many of these damn things.
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The opening of this movie had strip club scenes followed by Seagal sitting in a chair telling the audience he's the bestest, most special person ever. They should have just rolled the credits two minutes in, this movie checked all the Seagal boxes.
That would still be watchable and if it's a Seagal movie, he makes 100% sure it's unwatchable and that's why he can't take risks as his reputation is on the stake.
It still requires sit fighting
You're a goddamn genius.
Something is wrong here...
Where is the shitty voice dub?
It became standard a couple of years ago.
Seagal's ghost will be found in a strip club
Seagal never disappoints to disappoint.
@@monoremu3200 Your comment doesn't make no sense
Whaaat my brain is hurts😂
OH yes, you came up with newest movie title "Never disappoint to disappoint"
Disappointing comment
That would imply that you have high expectations for Seagal, and that says more about you 😂😂🤣🤣🤣
We are all watching Segal snatch all of Jason's birthdays. One "movie" at a time.
He's killing me and he doesn't even know it.
@@JasonBrant Careful he's telepathic, you saw the movie...
@@JasonBrant That's how eldritch horrors work. Sifu sleeps, ignorant as his dreams warp reality itself into diabetes.
@@JasonBrant just like the double fried cheesesteaks he eats...
I swear people say you can't smell a picture but we all know better.
Looks Segal snatch everybody's birthday 🎂 cake ! 😳
look.... Steven Seagal movies are NOT MEANT to be reviewed by the average bystander....... if you're going to watch ANYTHING concerning that clown you NEED to be lead at the helm by a trained professional.... Somebody like *Space Ice*
Thank me later😉
Poor Jason, you can clearly see his hair rapidly greying out everytime Sifu is on screen. Your sacrifice for our entertainment shall not be forgotten, sir.
PS: Took me a couple days to finish the video. Yes, it is the worst Seagal ever.
Just dye it like Sifu
Paint it like Sifu
I've aged rapidly since going weekly with this show.
Agreed. Thank you for your service!
My husband has grey hair... he is an awesome silver fox. Wear your grey hair proudly!
I saw my mom and sister over Christmas and they got talking about movie stars they find attractive and my mom said Steven Seagal 😩 she is nearly 70 though and has probably only ever seen Under Siege. It was still distressing.
🤢🤮😭 lol
You should've thrown her Christmas present in the fire.
Well, he was attractive...
When he took take of his health and we didn't know yet how of a jerka$$ he truly was!
Damn. You had a shitty Christmas.
I didn't have the heart to explain to her what a piece of human garbage he is.
"I've done a lot of things they will never let you know about."
You mean there are movies you made out there that were so bad they didn't even make it to DVD?! 😱
Hah!
Nah more his creepy stuff in real life ... i think we know only half of it and even thats sick enough.
Nah, he was talking about his good movies.
@@bytefuThere were good ones?
@@kingleech16 Well, even if there are, they will never let us know 😜
Each Seagull film I see snatches one birthday. Thanks to this channel, I have about 4 years to live.
And you probably got Syphilis 😉
The way he holds guns in movies now is amazing lol.it’s literally just sits on his stomach .
His stomach is a built in weapons holder, He's got a pistol under each man boob.
And I'm sure he's used the same pose on 8 or 9 covers
His weapon handling gets worse and worse.
He doesn't need to aim - he even hits if the shots go in a completly different direction.
his belly provides the most stable weapons platform.
Steven Segal should be listed as a top level polluter. Imagine all the plastic wasted on his films clogging up landfills and all the human minds that have been polluted with boring gibberish and scenes of waddling.
Hear! Hear!
I believe that CIA Karen is portrayed by the director’s wife. She isn’t a terrible and inexperienced actress but she seems to have been shoehorned into the role either because someone quit or because the director wanted to give her something to do that would give her an excuse to be paid.
You are right. She (Megan Brown Martinez) seems to be former aspiring actress, like she appeared in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I guess She took 10 year old break for family life.
Good for them. Get that Seagal money. No creepy sex scene needed.
@@JasonBrant She would have been too old for him anyway - our Steven only accepts women who could be his granddaughters nowadays.
Holy fuck this was the pinnacle of PAIN. You two are troopers.
Each one is worse than the last.
Sounds like a wrestler's big finishing move, the Pinnacle of PAIN!
The minute Jason broke the news to Erin that it was Sifu time, again,...her expression of ..."Dear Lord,..Help Me!" I literally felt sorry for her. 😅
You live several states away and this was recorded, but I SWEAR I felt Erin die a little more inside when she found out she had to endure more Seagal.
What part of the county are they in?
@@fredtaylor9792 Virginia.
You felt her soul erode.
@@fredtaylor9792 They live in Maryland.
We all did....
Hey Jason. With the big 150 approaching, can I suggest a special where you and the crew do a top 10 for the best and worst movies you've had on the show, also a list of sifu Seagal's movies
Nice!
How would you expect him to do this? Do you think he remembers any of the movies 5 minutes after the ending? Even if they had something memorable, the brain cannot hold the information very long without exploding.
And if he needs to rewatch those movies to put them into an order, his brain would start melting. Nobody would be able to survive cruelty like this, even the great Sensei himself couldn't do that.
We're hoping to do a special episode soon, but lips are sealed until it materializes.
Jason is lucky to have such a wonderful and funny woman like Erin. Her laughs are🔥🔥🔥
@@tonihaukijarvi a matter of opinion.
@@tonihaukijarvi damn you are tool of the year
Incredibly lucky.
@@JasonBrant have watched so many of your videos and really love the chemistry and camaraderie between all of you. Keep up the good work. Would love to see if some Indian movies could be added to the library
We too have some god awful movies! Wishing a very Happy new year and regards to SBIG team! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🇮🇳🇮🇳
So THIS is the "bad Seagal" Erin mentioned Jason making her sit through during the Christmas ep. and Jason had the nerve to accuse us subscribers of being sadists 🤣🤣
Correct 🤣
Well you know: "in good times and bad" ...
After what he did to the crew with Verotika I think we all know who the real evil one is here.
Hell, worst case scenario we're meting out a form of justice!
I love love love Erin's expression when Jason joked about banging Seagal! 😆
The look of extreme disappointment on Erin’s face as she finds out she is about to watch another Seagal movie.😂
At 17:20 that is an actual Filipino family having an actual traditional Philippines delicacy, a whole roast pig called “Lechon” so I must give them that. 😂
Just when you think the world ran out of Steven Seagal movies, you find another gem. We can only hope he lives another 50 years to provide us with many more films of great quality.
They might be in Russian, though.
He made his last movies in 2019. He doesn't need to make films anymore since he works for his buddy Putin.
But we can always throw together scenes from his previous movies - and since the stories of the originals didn't make sense anyway you can choose the order at random.
@@lordmontymord8701, I’d like to see a movie created that flashes between younger Seagal and older Seagal with no flashbacks or reason. He’s just inexplicably old in one scene and young in the next. It couldn’t hurt the quality of the film.
@@johnblossom8447 😄 why not? Would be interesting to see the reactions of people who have never seen Seagull-movies before or only the ones from his direct-to-DVD-phase. There are so many scenes with body doubles who don't even come close to look like Steven (and bad dubbing). Inserting scenes with young Steven might look like they finally found a a more convincing body double - even if he's 30 years too young and hasn't nearly enough weight.
Top 3 takeaways from this travesty ( and yes, we all love your pain)
3- Jason”s mind being so numbed to the absurd ineptitude that he actually found a brief second of unfounded joy when a rocket launcher was used (horribly)
2- The revelation that a Segal movie was written by a woman and Erin’s immediate reaction of “Was it this one?”
1- The absolute greatest and most entertaining moment of dialogue and reaction …….. “You know that’s my beer right”
Thanks for continuing this torture for our pleasure.
I lost it when erin said
Brian's not here Dave's not here....
I suffer alone
🤣
HNY, I like to mention that Seagal is gotten himself a lifetime achievement award? For some Dubai award show last year, and I swear its the most unreal consideration from the guy who beats up everybody.
Is video of it on UA-cam?
Yes, it’s under DIAFA 2022
Happy new year to you both. Look forward to seeing more content from you this new year!
Much love from the UK.
Thanks, Phil! Gonna kick some ass this year.
To quote Pinhead "No Tears, Please. It's A Waste Of Good Suffering." 😂
🤣
“Neal Breening the other guy” 😂😂😂 that needs to be a term… Neal Breening
21:40 THAT'S who he reminds me of, a Discount Sean William Scott!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🙃☹
What I really wanted was a movie called Colonel Sergeant. Oh, well. Or maybe the naval version, Admiral Ensign.
I think a better title would have been Disorganized
Uncle Grandpa?
The title is really something.
Yessssssssss Seafood Seagal is back babayyyyy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🤦🤦🤦
You're part of the problem 🤣
@@JasonBrant I've never seen this turd before....I better pass 🤣
You should watch 'Exit Wounds'. It's cheesy enough for SBIG but at least it's not painful to watch. Best IMDB rating for Seagal's movie after 2000 iirc.
First one for 2023, Happy New Year Jason and Erin,looking forward to a year full of AAAAAA+++ movie reviews.All the best from N.Z.
Would genuinely like to watch you guys experience an early Seagal movie, a decent one like Out for Justice or Under Siege. It wasn’t always this bad, honest.
The gift that keeps waddling
Dunno about the 'gift' part...
Thank yall for going through this for us! You guys are the real heroes
UA-cam needs a medal system. Not for high subscriber counts, but for sitting through the crappiest of movies.
“I got this in ‘Nam.”
“I got this for sitting through General Commander start to finish.”
“…. Really?”
Happy New Year! With Seagal ! 😂😂
Ringing in the new year in the worst possible way.
The tradition continues! Happy New Year to everyone who reads this. I hope your year is a great! Thanks to the So Bad It's Good crew for a banger of a year. 2022 was truly so bad it's good
Thanks so much! Going to kick some ass this year.
This movie is what we commonly refer to as ‘a really bad example of a vanity project and a vanity project is a project that makes the maker of the movie aroused by themselves’ (multiple self-inflicted gunshots heard)… Also, a knife kill cannot, by definition, be pointless. 😂
I’ve seen vanity projects with more effort put into it. Seagals movie are very lazy vanity projects
most of segalls movies are the pinnacle of bad vanity projects. in fact i think he is the only one casting himself in movies anymore.
I don't think its a vanity project in the normal kind of way. These movies aren't made by Steven himself or for him. The production companies just need a big name (relatively) for the cover. It's the same with all those cheaply made Bruce Willis and Wesley Snipes-direct to DVD/VoD-titles from the last years.
Our Steven is just a very special case: If you want him in your movie you have to make him the uber-badass. Plus the strip club-scenes and hot young girlfriends of course. Snipes on the other hand had problems with the big studios too and needed money because of certain tax problems, but he doesn't have the same ego when it comes to his roles.
If Seagal ever drags Maggie Q into one of his movies? It just became personal.
I have something like 50 more movies to go through, so it wouldn't surprise me to see her in one.
The near infinite well of Seagal’s delusions of badassery has provided for the people once again, fuckin hooray!
I really think he believes his own bullshit.
Note that the Sifu movies are coming to an end, Master Neil Breen should be next in the queue.
It's a fair question, Jason. You look like really nice people. So why do I enjoy watching you suffer so much? Ah well...... it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets to watch Sifu again.
Happy New Year, people. Love from The Netherlands.
Happy New Year 🤣
I’m sick rn but Jason never disappoints in making me smile thanks man!!!
Awesome Work Guys, Thanks 👍👍👍😀 Happy New Year 2023 Greetings from Helsinki, Finland 🇫🇮🇺🇸🇫🇮🇺🇸🇫🇮🇺🇸
Oh my god yes!!! Finally you guys review this Segal movie. Ever since subscribing to your channel, myself and my girlfriend wanted to try our luck at watching Segal and this one was absolutely horrendous. Glad to see we weren’t the only ones who struggled
The best part is the sound effect you use to cover up the swearing. 😂😂
I love how they cut the swearing and I love the censor sound even more "heyyyyyy"
Was there a story? I didn't see a story. Shouldn't there be a story?
Also, happy New Year and thank you for all your great content!
A story is just a cheap way to make a movie seem coherent. Master Seagull says that's all unimportant nonsense. Just have a scene in a strip club and all will be fine!
That was “After Last Season” level boredom. Love it.
That laughing effect gets me every time
It's actually got two guys of Black Rifle Coffee Company in it. Loved that. The two guys firing at and blowing up that helicopter.
I greatly enjoy how he's utterly shameless. He's a blast even when he's terrible. I'll never deny enjoying his unique aura.
Poor Erin. I can see the life force leaving her body every time you make her watch a Sifu movie😲😂
Seefoo Seegull strikes again. Starting the new year with drain bamage, thanks Jason!
You have an angel for wife Jason, a lesser woman would have run away by now after all the Steven Seagal movies 🤣🤣🤣
I love watching you watch master Sifu 😂 these episodes brighten my day
Happy New Year. Perfect way to start 2023! 👍👍👍
9:32 I've never seen a person spiritually vomit before, 🤣🤣🤣☹😬🙃🤣🤣
🤣 🤣
Segal messing up his own dubbing is the most Segal thing ever
They probably tricked him into the recording booth this time by telling him there's a nice little strip club inside ...
Yeah they promised him a vat of spaghetti and meatballs inside the booth.
835am in Alaska, coffee and dabs ready to go, let's do this!!!
Startin' the new year with Master Seagull, huh? Alright, I'm down!!!
Well, you're both funny. And comedy stems from misery. So funny entertainers + horrible Seagal movies = me pissing my pants at Jason groaning in exasperation and Erin squirming in her seat!😂
That big knife is a kukri. It's big and it's cool, but now a little less so because Seagal got his hands on one. Strong start to the new year! Appreciate the content. Erin's pain in this one was something universal lol
My favorite part was when Karen put on sunglasses to walk ten feet from a car to a plane *inside a hangar.*
Your a braver man than me Jason., I honestly couldn't make it through under seige and I'm.told.thats one of seagals best films. All the best for 2023 to you and Erin
I could feel your pain from across the pond 😂
You need to watch pre goatee Seafood, they are hilarious. Happy New Year to all the gang 👍
Happy New Year to the both of you, and thank you for your suffering 😂
Also, UA-cam is demonetizing people. Here's a video talking about their latest BS by Penguinz0:
ua-cam.com/video/Yv3a7Pfy_l4/v-deo.html
To answer your question why the the fans keep asking for it: "Some people want to watch the world burn, Mr. Brant"
I also loved Erin's reaction to "how long can you pray?!?"
"Jesus H Christ how long can you pray"....there is a tshirt somewhere there
You have to watch a video of Stephen Seagal dancing chechen! She is beautifully dancing while he is flailing about. I have no idea if he is going to attack her or if he is dancing lol. Trust me it is worth the 2-3 minutes watch.
Legend says that the only way it will ever end is when Sensai Segal has snatched every last mother's birthday.
And if he told everyone they had syphilis ...
Every new Seagal movie makes me think 'Oh, time to launder some more money!' Also, I couldn't tell wtf was on the table near the end of the film. Was it a pig, or some sort of gargantuan crustacean?
If you thought this was a waste, you could always review ZardoZ. It is set in 2023.
Sean Connery in a speedo...
What a way to ring in the new year.
New Year New Segal film to review, Off to a great start 😂
I would completely understand if one of yoru New Years resolutions was to never see another Segal movie. I am surprised you have done as well as you have so far with them. Even in the short edited versions you show, they are brutal. I feel for all of you for having to suffer. Good luck this year.
Oh don't worry Jason, you've got at least one more Segal movie coming your way.
Courtesy of yours truly
Aaaah Its Seagal time again. Big shout out to Jason for sitting through these btw. Greetings from Kenya!
Why i laugh everytime just by the opening of the video?!😂😂😂
Oh noooooo!
I admire your bravery 🙌
It's a sacrifice I'm increasingly unwilling to make.
Another one ignored by the Academy® Thanks for yet another entertaining video.
Can't believe this didn't win best original screenplay.
I think they were going for the verbal, intelligent, sophisticated look. They must have sat down and thought “you know what guys? We do to many guns and bombs 💣 let’s have more dialect and mystery” 🤣😂🤣😂
I would really love to see seagal skydiving 😂
Btw. Segal "Solely keeps the Albuterol market alive" everytime he shoots a movie...
Hoping Jason and Erin have checked out Established Titles and now know the fraud that they truly are 👍
you mean selling people 1 square foot of land in another country and telling them that now they're legally a "lord" wasn't a legit business? no way......Next you're gonna tell me bitcoin isn't real money.
@@ErikN1982 They weren't even selling 1 square foot of land. Scotland doesn't allow for the legal sale of "novelty plots" which these obviously were.
Are there people that genuinely don't understand that Bitcoin is not a real currency? Cryptocurrency is highly speculative stocks (with a "company" that actually makes no product), not currencies.
@Geoffrey Sorkin I've got a CryptoBro coworker, I frelling hate him, he leaves his phone on the shelf to mine BitCoin, or whatever it is. Always telling me it's the 'wave of the future'. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄I also recently found out he's racist, so I'd have no qualms if he died violently.
We cancelled our ET sponsorship several weeks ago.
Seagal’s genius is beyond your comprehension. He is the preeminent producer, director, writer and actor of our time. #justformentouchofgrey
Theres nothin better then starting the new year with a Seagal movie :D
I think this is the one where he is only siting and if you manage to take in "story" you find out that conversations and things which are happening make no sense.
Even in same scene.
Did Steve get a raise when he was promoted from Captain Admiral to General Commander?
Yeah, via money laundering of course 😉
Occasionally I have seen comments from the foot fetishists; while I am not one of them, when Erin rested her foot on her knee what immediately came to mind was:
If Erin kicks your ass, she will blow out your "O-ring"! (equivalent to one birthday "snatched up") 🤣
Love you guys, Happy New Year and continued succes. 🖖
Happy New Year!
Thank you for suffering through that, so others won't have to. Ypur sacrifice does not go unnoticed. You guys are the special forces of movie buffs...the few, the proud, the couch potatos!
“You know what time it is…?”
(Erin has a look of terror on her face) “Seagall Time?”
“Yes…”
(Erin) “Awwwww, Noooooo….”
It is a testament to their relationship that they have stayed together despite all the Seagal flotsam they have waded through together 😂😂😂😂😂
Happy new years!! Hope yall had a great night, but yall never released this on patreon!
It's there now.
@Jason Brant thanks! And yeah this was rough lol. Happy new years to the whole sbig crew!
Every Seagal movie watched is one birthday snatched.
You two watch Sifu Seagal movies so we don't have to, and we all thank you for it! :) It would make the year if y'all did a SBIG collaboration with the James Rolfe from Cinemassacre.
The beginning where Sifu is talking about what he did and couldn't exactly say reminds me of all the valor thieves I've come across over the years. It's as if they watch Sifu Seagal movies and start taking notes.
Something tells me the editor was binging Tony Scott’s catalog and said, “Hey, I can edit like that…” 🤘🤣
I refuse to click play until I'm in the right mental place to watch Seagal.
Then you're never clicking PLAY🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So, never?
@@JasonBrant Just on the whiskey & coke, I'll watch it soon.
“Jesus H Christ, how long can you pray?!” 😂 Awesome
Okay, in high school my friends and I in our Filmography class went out with a camcorder and filmed some stupid fight scenes loosely based off of some drug cartel or some shit, I can't remember. But I can honestly say that 4 or 5 teenage kids doing basically whatever they wanted for a 15 minute video fight scene was less painful than watching this movie.
You probably had passion ... In Seagull movies nobody cares. The directors say "It is technically a fight scene, so it's good enough."
Happy new sifu year keep up the excellent work guys peace and love always ❤️
OMG this one had me laughing and also gave me gallstones at the same time. By the way, Erin at 19:36 that's my new ringtone.
Damn I love these Seagal reviews, Jason, aren't your Seagal reviews your moat watched videos? There so good!!!! I can see why.