The people who judge. Have pieces missing within themselves. When you are so happy and full , you are too busy being happy to judge. Thank you for your inspiration.
Yes, yes and yes! People who are on an authentic journey are often more focused on their own growth and fulfilment, which leaves little room for judgment of others. They recognize that happiness and fulfillment come from living in alignment with their true selves, whether that involves having children or not. This mindset fosters a sense of respect for the diverse paths others may take in their lives. Embracing authenticity means understanding that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to happiness, and that everyone’s journey is unique and valid.💖
I am 58 and childfree. No regrets. I have lots of hobbies and I volunteer. I don't have pets but I love my wildlife in my garden. I am learning to be alone as one day I will be
We have NO kids... retired at 47... we have lived overseas and we have been traveling the past 15 years... No money issues and we have good health....... best decision ever with no regrets at all.
I’m single/unmarried and childfree all by choice at 40 years old. I’m NOT financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually fit. Best decision I’ve ever made and I have zero regrets.
What are you doing with your life to pay back the individuals, groups, and society as a whole that has given you everything you have? You decided you're not fit to contribute by providing the next generation of people that sustain society, so what are you doing instead?
@@mylesleggette7520who are you to tell her how to live her life ? Women are not entitled to have kids in order «to sustain society ». No one should say to woman what to do with her body.
I just got reminded of, There's a proverb in Gujarati language, it says "Not interfering, is a great service to the world"! Is there a generalized pay-back condition to be part of the earth that everyone has signed before taking birth? As a child, when I look back & reflect, I see that Everyday was a Sunday, being happy doing everything silly added so many colors to the family, so as an individual I guess Everyone has paid back being children themselves. Now as a community of adults, who decides how-much more or Which exact ways One Should Pay-Back To Society? Isn't living a simple, minimal, happily married life One Of The Great Ways To Pay-Back To Society for Newer Generations who are seeking such examples. Is Society a steady-consistent Reality? Or Our own individual constructs/concepts that's lived some weeks of the year. I'm glad you posed the question, it helped me reflect on some other questions. Let's be open and continue to investigate. Isn't posting such beautiful video documents with Society that allows us Random people meet up on commentsSectn and Converse? One way of Paying-back. Can we let the others decide how to navigate our individual lives be it via our intuitions/heart or socially correct ways to live? Did Society ever ask for any pay-back? Or it's just individuals who felt whatever their heartful contributions/interactions/engagements that required in the moment for Society good/bad? We're open to investigate/reflect more on this together. Thankyou. Best regards.
Same here, we're both 54 and don't have children. We did try though, for a number of years, but I think it was more due to the pressure of society and parents, but it didn't happen. We've been married for 31 years and have no regrets. Maybe everything does happen for a reason 🙂
I am 33 and my wife is 30. We both dont feel the need for a child. We are happy together, we enjoy going out together. My mother always says "don't create a new life until you have lived your own life" you meaning do the things you want to do first and then you can have childeren if you choice. And if you don't, that is fine to. 😊
Your mother is a wise woman. My husband I are similar in age to you and your spouse. For the longest time… I was against having kids. Then all of my friends starting talking about having them because a lot of my friends were getting pregnant. I started to feel like maybe I was missing out… and now I’m back to not wanting any kids. Any time I think I want them… and then I am around someone’s child… I instantly change my mind. I want to work on myself more and ensure my husband and I have an amazing life together. I don’t want to struggle financially or have strain in my marriage or identity to have a child.
Fellow Childfree by choice person here. Well said, marriage and Motherhood are every woman's personal choices, not obligations, no matter what. Stay strong and stay happy !
Having kids is a 20 year commitment (or more...!). I have two sons in their twenties now, I have no regrets, they are my pride and joy, but many of my friends have chosen not to have any, and I totally respect that. It's a harsh world out there to raise good and compassionate human beings. Enjoy your life the way you choose to live it. And ignore people who would want you to change it!
I love that you have kids and they light up your life but you don't think everyone else must be poppin out some and can see that it's just different life paths
20 years out of 75 honestly doesn’t sound bad at all. I’m not a parent but I would be happy to spend what is probably less than 1/3 of my time with kids. Especially because they can also enrich your life and bring out traits you never knew you had.
@@Bav92Having kids into this over populated world is doing a crime to the children Born, they have to fight for basic necessities like food, Water due to high inflation.
I didn't want to have kids, a decision since I was really young. My friends think I will regret it. Today, most of my friends regret having kids and wish they have my life. I know, being honest to myself is the best gift I can give myself.
I'm 46 been with my wife for 18 years both kinda late bloomers with no children and the straight up hostility we get from so called friends and family is so beyond ridiculous it's actually sad. This coming from people who are out right miserable with their situations.
Some people just cannot see outside the box. I’m glad you have the courage to make choices that are right for you, despite the comments from the peanut gallery. 🙌🏻💫
People like to judge everything that is not standard. We have four children and that is regarded strange and selfish by many. Just as having none. You do you 🤍 People will always judge when you deviate fromthe norm whatever that may be. Our job is to not be bothered and live our own beautiful lives 🌸
@@rod1424Here in Switzerland it's the same. If you have more than two kids you are seen as promoting climate change. One thing is sure - if everyone globally had 4 kids it would be unsustainable. However, it balances nicely with the childfree.
My partner and i dont have kids and we totally agree on everything you said. We feel like we are having an amazing time and life goes by soo fast, we just dont want to be bogged down with kids. Cheers to a well-made decision. 😜 🍻
Thanks for sharing, Jean! I'm very happy to have found your channel. My wife and I also decided not to have kids, and we've been married since we were 23. Each year, we had "the vote" if this was the year. As time went by, we looked at our life together, and decided it wasn't right for us to interrupt what we had, and we continued to grow and be fulfilled with our relationship. We've had some amazing opportunities to travel and gain experiences that wouldn't have been possible if we made other choices. We celebrated 20 years married this week! No regrets! Live YOUR life!
@@JeanVoronkova that’s right. most can’t even take care of themselves (financially and also mentally/physically) yet they want to bring an innocent baby into this world thinking they can ‘take care’ of them?
Same here: no kids, a nice investment and retirement portfolio, time, hobbies, healthy relationship! I've got a great life that works for me and I'm happy :)
Such a refreshing take! Im now 31 and for as long as I can remember I have never wanted kids but whenever I say this I am always welcomed with unsolicited opinions/"advice" that 'you'll change your mind one day'. Well my mind hasn't changed yet and I really don't see it changing either. I respect peoples decision to have kids if that is what they want and I wish people would give the same respect back with my decision to not have them. Everyone should live a life they want without judgement.
Me and my older sister choose to child free too. For her it's because she doesn't like children to begin with, and for me because i enjoy living single. More freedom and i can take care my true self properly. Being people pleaser in the past making me forget to love myself. This world is already jam packed too, making younger generation hard to live. Bless for you all.
This is true for me too. At 37 it’s now time to start looking after myself well and enjoying my life, and I’m actually grateful I didn’t go down the kid-road or it’d all be about that right now, and I’d still be neglecting myself. Best wishes to you 🙂
You do you, and I'm glad you're enjoying living for your self. But please don't spread this nonsense about there being too many people. Every country in the world bar a literal handful has a negative birth rate, and promoting a culture of childlessness only accelerates this trend. The path to a lonely, depopulated world is already laid out, and it will be a struggle to change course.
Such wowserism! There are more births than deaths globally so what’s the problem? If the birth rate is above zero, it’s not negative. There are and will always be humans being born. A smaller population is a good thing. Nothing good can come from more and more and more people.
Your story was very moving. I made the choice to become a parent as a 53 year old in need of a succession plan. I was so terrified of the prospect of raising a baby to an adult that I cried uncontrollably when my partner told me she was pregnant. I am not fond of babies in general but I got used to sleep dep and diaper changes. Now my 17 year old son is my best friend and my life has been unimaginably enriched with him around to teach and learn from. In a year he will be off to university to study engineering and I will be making my way to Bali to retire. I got lucky.. There is no guarantee as to the outcome. You are wise to consider this life-altering choice carefully.
@Dot21234My partner breastfed at night and I did the diaper changes so she could rest. It is important to be honest with yourself as to your energy levels. A 63 year old who is fit and vibrant could pull it off. If not, you might find yourself doing a larger part of the work. Kids start sleeping through the night after 6 months so the stage of parental exhaustion doesn’t go on indefinitely. Sometimes families will help in the early stages.
@Dot21234You’re going to have a child with someone who will almost certainly die before the kid graduates college. Why do you have a partner who is so old if your goal is to have a family? Seems like the child is the one who will suffer, spending most of their life without a father.
"I will always be grateful to my parents. They truly loved and supported me. I try to give back to my elderly mother. Looking back, although I had a great life, I can see the struggles my parents went through. As a child, I already felt like, 'I don't want that type of life.' In my twenties, I decided never to have children. Now that I am in my fifties, I realize that only now do I have the maturity to have children. So, I made the right decision."
@@dr.gaosclassroom Yes but he shouldn't be with a much younger woman now just to have kids. He ought to choose a woman in her 40s at the very least to take the chance or adopt or get an ethical surrogate.
My 8 year old son is such an important part of my life. The joy I feel when I spend time with him is so special. That said, I don't judge others who don't feel the same way about having kids. We are all different and should have respect for those differences. One path is not better than the other. Thoughtful video Jean...
Great video and message. Main takeaway is that there are many ways for us humans to live a meaningful, fulfilling mortal and brief life in this eternal reality, and it needs inner reflection to find our own paths. Also, not caring about conventional thinkers is important as they are living an outdated reality and will project their own misery/toxicity onto you. There's only one way to live a miserable life - and that's not living the authentic life meant for you.
I’m turning 43 only child never been married. I think finding the right partner with similar values is Crucial. To grow old and have friendship with. Having a child it is a blessing and not everyone can have one.
I love this. I'm a mother and I love being a mother but I totally see the appeal of a childless/childfree life, so much freedom and fun. You do you girl
I absolutely respect people with no children, indeed I have some close childless friends, they live more exciting lives for sure….. I have 4 kids myself, and I am damn busy every day. My childless friends are happy, and I am happy too, in our own ways. I love your videos Jean, gives a completely different perspective of life
Great video. I have a two year old and while I love being a parent and have absolutely no regrets, I can see where having kids is not for everyone- the sleepless nights, the time commitment, the seemingly constant tantrums. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, so people should always respect other's decisions. We all take different paths in life and the route to happiness is different for everyone.
It’s everyone’s right to do what’s right for them as a couple. The sad thing is if you want and cannot have. My husband and I tried for years with no success. Long story short we adopted and that was the right choice for us. I believe you can be equally fulfilled with or without children depending on the lifestyle you choose and that both partners agree. I see Jean and her husband living this amazing life and obviously it is the right thing for them. I’m sure many people would be jealous of this beautiful life and I think I would have been very happy living this life up to a certain point. I am so grateful that my husband and I pursued parenthood to the point of adoption as I know in our hearts we would have regretted it had we not.
I would never have a child for many reasons. I‘m 33 and married and I‘m very happy without a child. I‘ve so many other plans for me, so many dreams. I live for me and my dreams and that‘s okay.
I don't have kid, either, and don't want to have one because I know I am selfish, I want free time, do what I want with my own time ... like if I want to sleep/watch TV, I just go sleep/watch TV any time and in peace ☺️ Hubby is with me. He once told me, better to have niece/nephew, they come and they go home 😂
Thank you for sharing something so personal. Nobody as a right to judge you. It's your life. You only get to live once so life your life not the life others think you should live. ❤❤
Nobody's Business what you do with your life. And you are contributing and having a valid Life by sharing your experiences with this video and channel. Keep up the great work
I have 5 kids yet I agree with what you said. All of it. Lol. Don't have kids if you don't want to. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Love your videos. Hugs to you 🤗
I deeply respect you as you respect the choices of others opposite to your own. I wish you and your growing family all the best. Very refreshing to read these
Great video! We resonated with you both fully. I never had the impulse to have kids, nor did my husband. When you first meet people, one of their first questions is usually, do you have kids? As if something was missing in your life. As you explained, our lives are whole and exciting, and we feel truly fulfilled. We are so glad that we ignored the pressure of society to live a life that is a copy of the masses. We often agree that deciding not to have kids was one of our best decisions!
we have 2 furkids right now.... and actually we're in a very happy place, just right for us... and from that perspective I think I'm at peace & happy with our situation of not having human kids... but i guess it will always be a very individual decision for each person :)
Absolutely! You get to live your life, not someone else's. We are all different and enjoy different things, and that's the beauty of our world. We each have a unique purpose in life, and discovering that is essential. Keep enjoying your authentic life because that's how you illuminate the world.🙌 ❤
I knew from 17yrs old I would never have children it’s something I didn’t want to do. Purely selfish reasons, certainly not because I thought the world was an awful place. I have always admired parents. I’m 64 and no regrets. I am midwife. 😊
People should stop looking into other's lifes and assuming things! They should look into their own lifes and get THEIR OWN issues done! Consider you spoked for me too!❤
At the end of Life, it’s all about how you’ve lived YOUR LIFE. Living it to the fullest in your own terms. It’s not selfish at allll. You owe it to you and only you. 90% of the people on this planet cannot even fulfill half of their life’s dreams. Not their fault, that’s just life. It’s challenging. So feel blessed n be proud that you are that tiny percent of happiness and bliss on earth. You do you and God Bless. Embrace it, No regrets ❤
@@shamekabenjamin8010 I lived my life to the fulliest. Traveled more than 25 different countries multiple times. Did everything on my bucket list before getting married and starting a family at 40. That way I have no regrets and don’t feel like I missed out on life. Now With that being said, now that I have two kids, a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Being a parent is the toughest, most exhausting, stressful, NO SLEEP AT ALL for past 5 years. My health took a huge huge dive, aged 10 years in past 5 years. I went from my best version in life to now my worst version in life. Ever. I take really good care of my kids but I don’t blame anyone for not wanting kids. It’s truly truly sacrificing and it’s not for everyone. I speak for millions of parents out there and trust me I talk to everybody. I’m very outgoing and social. One main thing I get from other parents is that I feel constantly exhausted and completely drained. So please be nice in life and don’t judge others 🙏 be understanding and have empathy
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt video!! I have only one child and am really grateful for having her. However, it is such an individual choice, everyone is different. I saw too many parents who have children for the wrong reasons and regret their decisions. My mother is one of them. She resented that she had children too early (when she was only 17) and never had a chance to live the life she wanted. You can imagine how miserable me and my siblings childhood was. So is my brother. He has a child solely to please my parents and he is not a good father as one can imagine. My decision to have children is purely based on my love for children. I had my first impulse of wanting children in my mid twenties. I always knew that I want children. I think I did a reasonable job raising my child and she is a happy young lady now. So grateful for your video!! Thank you again!
I agree what she says at the end of the video. There's no right or wrong. Its your choice. I've met multiple people who have kids and love it, people with kids who secretly regret it, people who are child free who love it, and people who are child free that regret it. I think the difference between all of these people are simply a mixture of good and bad choices and how much they REALLY know themselves. Just hope that no matter if you say to people whether or not you want children....you're right.
Jean, love your honesty. It is my belief that children should always be wanted by both parents as they're a life long commitment. Even when they are adults, as parents, you still worry. I wish our world would allow people to be childless and not place judgement on them. It's not for everyone. I love how you explained this topic and wish you and your husband all the best!
Hi Christine thanks for the kind note. I'm 100% with you. I hate that some children are here in this world and not gettin the attention they would like to have from their parents. We should be allowed to be different when necessary without facing judgment.
I’m 39 and my husband is 51, we had our son 2 years ago. I never grew up vision boarding kids and instead was such a career woman (and still am, just with tremendous balance) but boy, having that little guy has been my biggest life reward.
@@wheatstonebridgeit’s only too old to have kids when in menopause. Nature makes the rules. Many unexpected pregnancies happen later in life because that’s when women dump the most eggs.
@@IamaNewCreature Fight? With whom, pray tell? My comment was meant to reassure Jean that choosing not to have kids, aka ankle biters, is a wise choice and nothing to feel guilty about. That's all.
@@SuiGenerisAbbie I’m an agreement with you, just saying even if it is ‘legally mandated’ that shouldn’t be a reason to have kids, if you don’t want to.
I've watched your videos for years and have gotten great value, but this resonated above all the others. To top off no kids I'm also single and very content. Ironically my career as a family photographer gives me great purpose. Thank you Jean for posting a video I'm certain many will grateful for. I know I am.
thanks for leaving us this kind note. It is a very fortunate thing to be as we are, content & living each day with purpose 🌻😍 so happy you're in this place
Not to mention the price tag they bring along with them .. You also must be financially stable and 90% will probably have to work your ass off until 68.. It’s a huge responsibility to have kids ..choose wisely..
Society does not support families well enough. Parents struggle to get time with their children for having to work all hours. Yes, it's a tough call and one needs be brave or loaded to think of raising children.
I feel the same. Always think about it but don't see a big enough reason have have myself right now despite the pressure from others. Your content really resonate with me!
I'm so warmed by this video and the loving way you explain such a deeply personal decision. I have had the exact same thoughts as you. It's nice to find like-minded others communicating this choice in a way that isn't defensive but clear, confident, and so evidently filled with joy for life.
Amen, Amen. Life is always about a choice, I am 62 this year and always taken care of my parents, I never had children or been married, I believe the happiness I hear in your voice, your married life gave you many blessings without children, Amen, Amen.
I am 45 years old and child-free. This allows me to take financial risks, to make investments and continuously focus on self-improvement and education. I enjoy spending a lot of time outdoors, engaging in training, and practicing meditation. I have complete freedom to live and do as I please, wherever I want. For me, life is so much more enjoyable without children.
@@JC-dt7rn Agree! Finding dedicated time to commit to adult endeavors and passions is definitely harder with kids, but not impossible. Business travel is hard for the partner staying a home and the guilt for me personally has been hard. Also once the kids are independent you get your time back as well. Either path with or without children has its own set of challenges and rewards. But if you know you really don't like spending time with kids and building a lifelong relationship with them, that's okay too. There is meaning and value to life regardless of you having kids or not.
A big THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts so honestly and reflected. I am 59 and have raised my son (32) as a single working mum. I got married and had him because everyone else around me did so. But my marriage failed within one year and raising him was hard and challenging, but also brought out the best in me. I love him very much and wouldn't want to miss him. However, he does not want kids, his girlfriend neither - it was difficult for me to accept and part of me still hopes they will decide to have kids because I would love to have grand kids. But I know, this is one of the not-so-good reasons you mention. It's them who should WANT and FEEL it to be able to cope with the challenges kids bring along. Yes, they might regret it later on, but I also regret a couple of decisions in my life that are irreversible, and yet I am a happy person, so what's the point.
Fantastic video. You really have to be honest with yourself whether children are for you or not. I'm 46 and all my life so far I was never once interested in children. If it doesn't interest you, don't do it. With lots of hobbies, as well as being a world traveler, I feel very fulfilled as a person with no children
Beautiful video Sis 💯💯 Totally agree with all the messages.. and really love the peaceful theme and feeling your videos always bring with it. Wish ❤️❤️ You and Hubby V ❤️❤️ have a very meaningful and happy life together 🙏🙏💫💫❤️❤️✨✨🙏🙏
I am 30 years old and I am childfree too. In day to day life it's realy hard to tell people that I am childfree. Often I just say what they want to hear which "Maybe someday". Because if i said no. Then I would be questioned.
Brave and introspective sharing!!! And often a topic I deep think about. It's the same thing concept as being married or being single - no one is actually better than the other. We choose what we suits us and bring us the best in us. To me the worst is really just doing something because everyone is doing it. ❤❤❤
Definitely, if you have no desire to have children - DO NOT. An unwanted child will almost always have a miserable life. Unloved, not knowing how to love, living in isolation.
Jean, thank you for your honesty. Not everyone is supposed to have kids and I think if most people were honest about their reasons for having kids, those reasons are mostly selfish. That responsibility is not the path for everyone. 🙏🏼 Being child free is such a blessing 🙏🏼
This is such a personal choice and I truly don´t understand the judgement of others. Like...how exactly is this any of your business? Different people find happiness in different things.
Great video! Thanks for sharing. Being purposeful/intentional about all of my choices has lead me to be child free. In a sense I feel I live more deeply from the core of my soul, I’m free to continue unraveling “me”. This factor has enriched my life more than words could describe. ❤❤
To me your life is soooo beautiful and envious. I’ve always wanted a boy and girl which I got, my life would be incomplete without them Regardless how hard it has been to raise them and I hv 5 grandchildren that are the loves of my life. Honestly I wish my life looked more like yours just with my grown kids and grand kids nearby. Thanks for sharing your beauty life with us 🥰
Totally agree with everything you said. It is a personal choice. My husband and I are childfree and have been together for 27 years. We enjoy our freedom.
“The world doesn’t need more disinterested parents.” “(*There is no missing peace in my life) labeled, children.” WOW! Such powerful statements. My husband and I are childless technically. We had several recurrent miscarriages. Slowly we both just accepted the fact that we would never be parents and we were ok with that. The Lord never promised us children. We’re grateful to have each other and neither of us feel convicted about adoption or fostering. We had started the process of IVF at one point and mid way realized that’s not the route we needed to go down. Contrary to what most people think or thought , we have been so much happier and more at peace since we’ve stopped trying to have children. We received so much judgement from family and friends. It was discouraging… It didn’t matter though, because the Lord brought us so much peace in our decision. Through our pain we still found triumph. It was so unexpected. Our joy comes from the Lord. Thank you for making this video. It was confirmation I didn’t need but glad to have. God bless you.❤
Don't have kids because you feel an arbitrary obligation to having them. You need to have a strong calling to bring new life into the world. Many of the people who trash your childless lifestyle are jealous of your freedom. Moreover, the won't be there to foot the bill and take on the emotional challenges of raising your kids. They wont even be there to babysit for a weekend. Do what's right for you. This life is short.
SUCH an amazing video, and so eloquent and well put! I recently interviewed Cathrine Forner who said that biologically, only around 25% of people in a community had kids, and the rest of the society were makers, and hunters, and gatherers and helped raise the children or helped the community in one way or another. I love this kind of thinking!
I am 47 and have always been child free. I now realize I missed a big blessing by choosing not to be a mom. Overall, I am very content with my decision and I wouldn't undo it. But as my friends are turning into grandparents, I realize I forfeited something huge in life. I wouldn't go back and do differently though. Just make sure you are clear about your why - why you have kids or why you don't. All the best to you and your hubby!
I think it is the fantasy you are craving now. Years ago when my colleges had (young) kids I was never jealous. I never wanted kids, the responsibility, cost, risks, no freedom. Now these colleges are becoming grandparents and that is a whole different dynamic. Sometimes I feel left out and that is a strange experience but still I can not say I want kids!
Jean, what a beautiful content you make… it’s about contentment, fulfillment and satisfaction in life that you eloquently elaborate. I agree that each individual has a different purpose in life that makes them content. And boy how lovely to see those who are content outside the societal boundaries. Best wishes to you both!
Parenthood offers a unique joy and fulfillment that comes from nurturing a child and watching them grow. The love, pride, and happiness they bring add new meaning to life. Raising children also allows you to pass down your values, traditions, and memories, ensuring that your legacy continues. Without children, the generation ends with us, and the opportunity to build a lasting family history fades. While the decision to have kids is personal, parenthood encourages growth, brings new adventures, and provides support as we age. Though challenging at times, the emotional richness and rewards of raising children often make it one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. Of course, the decision to have children is deeply personal, and it’s important that it aligns with your life goals and desires. But if you choose to take the step into parenthood, you might find that it opens up a new chapter of joy, growth, and love that you hadn’t fully imagined. Wishing you the best on your journey, whatever you choose.
I am 38, married and 3 kids and never before I felt so in companion as right now, planning all together, travelling all together, learning together or just staying in home preparing the meal , always there is something new to do everywhere, monotony doesnt exist in our everyday, you learn something new with kids and from them. Never before I have been so active phisically and emotional as I do now 😂😂and I don't regret, the only I regret is ;why I dont have them when younger? Planning a family is a carefully decision "of two", not an option. If you or your couple have doubts or insecure about so stay alone and dont try it.
To be honest, having kids or not having is fully a couple decision.... But having a little son or daughter call you dada or mama just feels magical, i can't really explain it.... I am sure people will be alright 🙏
you also need to realise, that for some people its completely opposite. those words spoken can be the worst. everyone different. good luck to everyone in their choices.
I think people who have no children have no imagination on what they are missing out. And people who don't have children I assume have some underlying issue. I was always very uncertain; and if it takes away my freedom etc etc..but having it there is nothing comparable. It's just another chapter in life; which is so amazing. You will probably never be sure; you must be brave. But you shouldn't not fade the biggest miracle in life.
@@chefse5442 I guess you also don't know what you are missing by having kids and no personal life or freedom, I have seen many colleagues who are so tired of kids that they don't want to go home or don't even want holidays because they fear of taking care of kids
@@chefse5442 You know, some people just don't want the responsibility to raise a child since it's the biggest and longest responsibility you can have in life. Not everyone who can have children is able to be a good, healthy parent for the child. It is much more complex than just this "biggest miracle in life". I'd personally much more rather regret not having children than having children, plus: you can't regret something you never wanted in the first place.
I think it's a question of how you want to spend your time. If childcare and tending to screaming needy creatueres is your gig, then good luck to you. Basically every study out there says happiness drops if you have children (compared to child free) and only rises again when they leave home 25 years later. Many men I know make every excuse under the sun to not return to the stress and boredom of family after a day of work in the office. While it is true you would not know what it is like having kids till you have them, the same could be said about setting yourself on fire: you've got a pretty good idea. When people ask me what our lives are like without kids, I reply, like yours were in your 20s before you had them. For most, that was the best time in their lives, and not just because they were young.
Before we started our hawker stall in 2018, we made a decision to not have kids. The hawker business took all our time, attention and energy literally 24/7. Now that we are early retired, we are living our best lives sans kids. Thanks for making this video. We totally resonate with all your reasons ❤
I decided to not have kids and i did the tubal ligation, Now i think that was a bit radical, sometimes i just feel that i would like to have the choice.. I thought I was 100% sure, but something kind of shifted. I'm usually travelling, changing countries.. And a part of me still want this kind of life, but theres a little part inside of me that would like to settle and have a family, (kids of my own). i'm 37 now and i feel sad about this, plus I really would like to have a long term relationship, and im struggling with that, because most of the guys who want to commit want kids, then the ones that don't want kids just want a "free" life, friends with benefits, etc..
It is the government and politicians who need kidz. They need sustainable taxpayers. They want the state to remain because that is where their salaries and benefits come from. They need national health insurance to remain in place. Without kidz, the national health and pension system would collapse, and the country could not survive.
The people who judge. Have pieces missing within themselves. When you are so happy and full , you are too busy being happy to judge. Thank you for your inspiration.
Yes, yes and yes! People who are on an authentic journey are often more focused on their own growth and fulfilment, which leaves little room for judgment of others. They recognize that happiness and fulfillment come from living in alignment with their true selves, whether that involves having children or not. This mindset fosters a sense of respect for the diverse paths others may take in their lives. Embracing authenticity means understanding that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to happiness, and that everyone’s journey is unique and valid.💖
@@tatiananugent8434 beautiful x
Have you ever thought about what you are saying, you sound like a parrot.
I am 58 and childfree. No regrets. I have lots of hobbies and I volunteer. I don't have pets but I love my wildlife in my garden. I am learning to be alone as one day I will be
We have NO kids... retired at 47... we have lived overseas and we have been traveling the past 15 years... No money issues and we have good health....... best decision ever with no regrets at all.
happy to hear you are happy with your choices and no regrets. Thanks for sharing with me 🙏
that's my goal as well!!!!!! retire early is what I look forward to. im not into kids, like other people's kids, but children is not my thing maybe..
It's not too late. Have some kids!
Great life!
@@jade-oh5wn have some respect. It's not on everyone's path.
I’m single/unmarried and childfree all by choice at 40 years old. I’m NOT financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually fit. Best decision I’ve ever made and I have zero regrets.
What are you doing with your life to pay back the individuals, groups, and society as a whole that has given you everything you have? You decided you're not fit to contribute by providing the next generation of people that sustain society, so what are you doing instead?
@@mylesleggette7520 That doesn't make sense.
@@mylesleggette7520who are you to tell her how to live her life ? Women are not entitled to have kids in order «to sustain society ». No one should say to woman what to do with her body.
I just got reminded of, There's a proverb in Gujarati language, it says "Not interfering, is a great service to the world"!
Is there a generalized pay-back condition to be part of the earth that everyone has signed before taking birth?
As a child, when I look back & reflect, I see that Everyday was a Sunday, being happy doing everything silly added so many colors to the family, so as an individual I guess Everyone has paid back being children themselves. Now as a community of adults, who decides how-much more or Which exact ways One Should Pay-Back To Society?
Isn't living a simple, minimal, happily married life One Of The Great Ways To Pay-Back To Society for Newer Generations who are seeking such examples.
Is Society a steady-consistent Reality? Or Our own individual constructs/concepts that's lived some weeks of the year.
I'm glad you posed the question, it helped me reflect on some other questions. Let's be open and continue to investigate.
Isn't posting such beautiful video documents with Society that allows us Random people meet up on commentsSectn and Converse? One way of Paying-back.
Can we let the others decide how to navigate our individual lives be it via our intuitions/heart or socially correct ways to live?
Did Society ever ask for any pay-back? Or it's just individuals who felt whatever their heartful contributions/interactions/engagements that required in the moment for Society good/bad?
We're open to investigate/reflect more on this together.
Thankyou. Best regards.
There are other ways to it forward or help society besides having kids. @mylesleggette7520
I don’t have any children and never thought l would. I am 54 now. Happily married for now 14 years.
Same here, we're both 54 and don't have children. We did try though, for a number of years, but I think it was more due to the pressure of society and parents, but it didn't happen. We've been married for 31 years and have no regrets. Maybe everything does happen for a reason 🙂
My husband and I are 46 and 49 and happily married for 19 years without children.
You have a roommate
@@IvanaRockno, she has a husband
@@IvanaRockYou just jealous because she is childfree.
I am 33 and my wife is 30. We both dont feel the need for a child. We are happy together, we enjoy going out together. My mother always says "don't create a new life until you have lived your own life" you meaning do the things you want to do first and then you can have childeren if you choice. And if you don't, that is fine to. 😊
Your mother is a wise woman. My husband I are similar in age to you and your spouse. For the longest time… I was against having kids. Then all of my friends starting talking about having them because a lot of my friends were getting pregnant. I started to feel like maybe I was missing out… and now I’m back to not wanting any kids. Any time I think I want them… and then I am around someone’s child… I instantly change my mind. I want to work on myself more and ensure my husband and I have an amazing life together. I don’t want to struggle financially or have strain in my marriage or identity to have a child.
Your mother sounds awesome. You are very lucky!
Summed up perfectly, I never envisaged kids, I'm 46 now (man) I like a simple life, camper, motorbike, surf when I want, work minimally
Your life is wonderful. Have or not have children is such a personal thing!
I had the same life it waa boring and lonely
@@Dexs59 not the life for you then
Fellow Childfree by choice person here. Well said, marriage and Motherhood are every woman's personal choices, not obligations, no matter what. Stay strong and stay happy !
Having kids is a 20 year commitment (or more...!). I have two sons in their twenties now, I have no regrets, they are my pride and joy, but many of my friends have chosen not to have any, and I totally respect that. It's a harsh world out there to raise good and compassionate human beings. Enjoy your life the way you choose to live it. And ignore people who would want you to change it!
I love that you have kids and they light up your life but you don't think everyone else must be poppin out some and can see that it's just different life paths
20 years out of 75 honestly doesn’t sound bad at all. I’m not a parent but I would be happy to spend what is probably less than 1/3 of my time with kids. Especially because they can also enrich your life and bring out traits you never knew you had.
@@Bav92Having kids into this over populated world is doing a crime to the children Born, they have to fight for basic necessities like food, Water due to high inflation.
I didn't want to have kids, a decision since I was really young. My friends think I will regret it. Today, most of my friends regret having kids and wish they have my life. I know, being honest to myself is the best gift I can give myself.
LOL stop lying to yourself, I know your friends are lying to you. They say it, to make you feel a little bit better about yourself.
I'm 46 been with my wife for 18 years both kinda late bloomers with no children and the straight up hostility we get from so called friends and family is so beyond ridiculous it's actually sad. This coming from people who are out right miserable with their situations.
They are jealous.
@@Iuckylukey seems like it
Like the saying goes, "Misery loves company..."
They say these things to you to justify them having kids and obviously still not being content
Some people just cannot see outside the box. I’m glad you have the courage to make choices that are right for you, despite the comments from the peanut gallery. 🙌🏻💫
People like to judge everything that is not standard. We have four children and that is regarded strange and selfish by many. Just as having none. You do you 🤍 People will always judge when you deviate fromthe norm whatever that may be. Our job is to not be bothered and live our own beautiful lives 🌸
4 is strange and selfish? Where you from?
@@rod1424Here in Switzerland it's the same. If you have more than two kids you are seen as promoting climate change.
One thing is sure - if everyone globally had 4 kids it would be unsustainable. However, it balances nicely with the childfree.
People don't just judge nonstandard things, they judge EVERYthing. Finding your own self and peace with that is a journey universal to all humans.
My partner and i dont have kids and we totally agree on everything you said. We feel like we are having an amazing time and life goes by soo fast, we just dont want to be bogged down with kids. Cheers to a well-made decision. 😜 🍻
Thanks for sharing, Jean! I'm very happy to have found your channel. My wife and I also decided not to have kids, and we've been married since we were 23. Each year, we had "the vote" if this was the year. As time went by, we looked at our life together, and decided it wasn't right for us to interrupt what we had, and we continued to grow and be fulfilled with our relationship. We've had some amazing opportunities to travel and gain experiences that wouldn't have been possible if we made other choices. We celebrated 20 years married this week! No regrets! Live YOUR life!
I do not have children. I am 48- 49 ( in August). I do not regret.. in contrary… ! Good luck
I am 46 and definitely also do not regret not having children.
You chose Life! Great choice girl! 👏
Not sustainable way of life for humanity. Liberal and secularism indeed bring humanity into doom
I'm the same, childfree for now. Selfish are those who have kids and abuse them.
yeah i'm with you. Nothing sadder than having kids only to neglect them and resent them for wanting your attention.
@@JeanVoronkova that’s right. most can’t even take care of themselves (financially and also mentally/physically) yet they want to bring an innocent baby into this world thinking they can ‘take care’ of them?
this was a beautiful, reasonable, compassionate perspective of a childfree woman, thank you.
Same here: no kids, a nice investment and retirement portfolio, time, hobbies, healthy relationship! I've got a great life that works for me and I'm happy :)
what else can you do? You need to accept it, and you might as well try to convince yourself you did the right thing.
@@ccjohnson6251 u mad?
@@ccjohnson6251 U mad?
@@phooongtion Short term thinking is a sign of low IQ
Such a refreshing take!
Im now 31 and for as long as I can remember I have never wanted kids but whenever I say this I am always welcomed with unsolicited opinions/"advice" that 'you'll change your mind one day'. Well my mind hasn't changed yet and I really don't see it changing either. I respect peoples decision to have kids if that is what they want and I wish people would give the same respect back with my decision to not have them.
Everyone should live a life they want without judgement.
Me and my older sister choose to child free too. For her it's because she doesn't like children to begin with, and for me because i enjoy living single. More freedom and i can take care my true self properly. Being people pleaser in the past making me forget to love myself. This world is already jam packed too, making younger generation hard to live. Bless for you all.
This is true for me too. At 37 it’s now time to start looking after myself well and enjoying my life, and I’m actually grateful I didn’t go down the kid-road or it’d all be about that right now, and I’d still be neglecting myself. Best wishes to you 🙂
You do you, and I'm glad you're enjoying living for your self. But please don't spread this nonsense about there being too many people. Every country in the world bar a literal handful has a negative birth rate, and promoting a culture of childlessness only accelerates this trend. The path to a lonely, depopulated world is already laid out, and it will be a struggle to change course.
Glad i had good father that has a trad principle and legacy
Such wowserism! There are more births than deaths globally so what’s the problem? If the birth rate is above zero, it’s not negative. There are and will always be humans being born. A smaller population is a good thing. Nothing good can come from more and more and more people.
Your story was very moving. I made the choice to become a parent as a 53 year old in need of a succession plan. I was so terrified of the prospect of raising a baby to an adult that I cried uncontrollably when my partner told me she was pregnant. I am not fond of babies in general but I got used to sleep dep and diaper changes. Now my 17 year old son is my best friend and my life has been unimaginably enriched with him around to teach and learn from. In a year he will be off to university to study engineering and I will be making my way to Bali to retire. I got lucky.. There is no guarantee as to the outcome. You are wise to consider this life-altering choice carefully.
@Dot21234I was 53 when my son was born and my partner was 40 at the time of giving birth. I will be 70 years old in July.
@Dot21234My partner breastfed at night and I did the diaper changes so she could rest. It is important to be honest with yourself as to your energy levels. A 63 year old who is fit and vibrant could pull it off. If not, you might find yourself doing a larger part of the work. Kids start sleeping through the night after 6 months so the stage of parental exhaustion doesn’t go on indefinitely. Sometimes families will help in the early stages.
@Dot21234You’re going to have a child with someone who will almost certainly die before the kid graduates college. Why do you have a partner who is so old if your goal is to have a family? Seems like the child is the one who will suffer, spending most of their life without a father.
“You are called crazy or worse, for dancing because they don’t hear your music.”
Everything comes down to the same thing, so long as you're happy and not harming anyone then that what's right for you and your life.
Amen!!
So true. It’s that simple.
"I will always be grateful to my parents. They truly loved and supported me. I try to give back to my elderly mother. Looking back, although I had a great life, I can see the struggles my parents went through. As a child, I already felt like, 'I don't want that type of life.' In my twenties, I decided never to have children. Now that I am in my fifties, I realize that only now do I have the maturity to have children. So, I made the right decision."
You are a lucky man!! I think you will be a great father if you choose to be one!!
@@dr.gaosclassroom Yes but he shouldn't be with a much younger woman now just to have kids. He ought to choose a woman in her 40s at the very least to take the chance or adopt or get an ethical surrogate.
My 8 year old son is such an important part of my life. The joy I feel when I spend time with him is so special. That said, I don't judge others who don't feel the same way about having kids. We are all different and should have respect for those differences. One path is not better than the other. Thoughtful video Jean...
When you decide to not have children, you can't imagine what it's like to have them. When you have children, you can't imagine life without them.
Great video and message. Main takeaway is that there are many ways for us humans to live a meaningful, fulfilling mortal and brief life in this eternal reality, and it needs inner reflection to find our own paths. Also, not caring about conventional thinkers is important as they are living an outdated reality and will project their own misery/toxicity onto you. There's only one way to live a miserable life - and that's not living the authentic life meant for you.
I’m turning 43 only child never been married. I think finding the right partner with similar values is Crucial. To grow old and have friendship with. Having a child it is a blessing and not everyone can have one.
not everyone wants kids
I’m 39 and spend time supporting my friends going through divorce with kids. It’s hell on earth for them. Kids are great when it all goes well.
i do think the saddest is when they get saddled with adult issues that they had nothing to do with...
I love this. I'm a mother and I love being a mother but I totally see the appeal of a childless/childfree life, so much freedom and fun. You do you girl
I absolutely respect people with no children, indeed I have some close childless friends, they live more exciting lives for sure….. I have 4 kids myself, and I am damn busy every day. My childless friends are happy, and I am happy too, in our own ways. I love your videos Jean, gives a completely different perspective of life
The ONLY people I know happy with their kids are people who have female family members to help them, like a mother, sister, aunt etc.
Thanks for sharing. I am 51 no kids. Love the freedom.
us too 🌻 life is good :)
Great video. I have a two year old and while I love being a parent and have absolutely no regrets, I can see where having kids is not for everyone- the sleepless nights, the time commitment, the seemingly constant tantrums. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, so people should always respect other's decisions. We all take different paths in life and the route to happiness is different for everyone.
You are living an authentic life, same goes for everyone who is living their best life. Much love from North Borneo
It’s everyone’s right to do what’s right for them as a couple. The sad thing is if you want and cannot have. My husband and I tried for years with no success. Long story short we adopted and that was the right choice for us. I believe you can be equally fulfilled with or without children depending on the lifestyle you choose and that both partners agree. I see Jean and her husband living this amazing life and obviously it is the right thing for them. I’m sure many people would be jealous of this beautiful life and I think I would have been very happy living this life up to a certain point. I am so grateful that my husband and I pursued parenthood to the point of adoption as I know in our hearts we would have regretted it had we not.
I would never have a child for many reasons. I‘m 33 and married and I‘m very happy without a child. I‘ve so many other plans for me, so many dreams. I live for me and my dreams and that‘s okay.
I don't have kid, either, and don't want to have one because I know I am selfish, I want free time, do what I want with my own time ... like if I want to sleep/watch TV, I just go sleep/watch TV any time and in peace ☺️
Hubby is with me. He once told me, better to have niece/nephew, they come and they go home 😂
Thank you for sharing something so personal. Nobody as a right to judge you. It's your life. You only get to live once so life your life not the life others think you should live. ❤❤
Nobody's Business what you do with your life. And you are contributing and having a valid Life by sharing your experiences with this video and channel. Keep up the great work
I have 5 kids yet I agree with what you said. All of it. Lol. Don't have kids if you don't want to. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Love your videos. Hugs to you 🤗
I deeply respect you as you respect the choices of others opposite to your own. I wish you and your growing family all the best. Very refreshing to read these
Great video! We resonated with you both fully.
I never had the impulse to have kids, nor did my husband.
When you first meet people, one of their first questions is usually, do you have kids? As if something was missing in your life.
As you explained, our lives are whole and exciting, and we feel truly fulfilled.
We are so glad that we ignored the pressure of society to live a life that is a copy of the masses.
We often agree that deciding not to have kids was one of our best decisions!
we have 2 furkids right now.... and actually we're in a very happy place, just right for us... and from that perspective I think I'm at peace & happy with our situation of not having human kids... but i guess it will always be a very individual decision for each person :)
Absolutely! You get to live your life, not someone else's. We are all different and enjoy different things, and that's the beauty of our world. We each have a unique purpose in life, and discovering that is essential. Keep enjoying your authentic life because that's how you illuminate the world.🙌 ❤
thanks for this sweet note Tatiana 🙏🌻
I knew from 17yrs old I would never have children it’s something I didn’t want to do. Purely selfish reasons, certainly not because I thought the world was an awful place. I have always admired parents. I’m 64 and no regrets. I am midwife. 😊
People should stop looking into other's lifes and assuming things! They should look into their own lifes and get THEIR OWN issues done! Consider you spoked for me too!❤
Personal choice. As long as you are comfortable n happy with it 🙏🌺
At the end of Life, it’s all about how you’ve lived YOUR LIFE. Living it to the fullest in your own terms. It’s not selfish at allll. You owe it to you and only you. 90% of the people on this planet cannot even fulfill half of their life’s dreams. Not their fault, that’s just life. It’s challenging. So feel blessed n be proud that you are that tiny percent of happiness and bliss on earth. You do you and God Bless. Embrace it, No regrets ❤
Loved this.. thank you 🙏🏾
@@shamekabenjamin8010 I lived my life to the fulliest. Traveled more than 25 different countries multiple times. Did everything on my bucket list before getting married and starting a family at 40. That way I have no regrets and don’t feel like I missed out on life. Now With that being said, now that I have two kids, a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Being a parent is the toughest, most exhausting, stressful, NO SLEEP AT ALL for past 5 years. My health took a huge huge dive, aged 10 years in past 5 years. I went from my best version in life to now my worst version in life. Ever. I take really good care of my kids but I don’t blame anyone for not wanting kids. It’s truly truly sacrificing and it’s not for everyone. I speak for millions of parents out there and trust me I talk to everybody. I’m very outgoing and social. One main thing I get from other parents is that I feel constantly exhausted and completely drained. So please be nice in life and don’t judge others 🙏 be understanding and have empathy
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt video!! I have only one child and am really grateful for having her. However, it is such an individual choice, everyone is different. I saw too many parents who have children for the wrong reasons and regret their decisions. My mother is one of them. She resented that she had children too early (when she was only 17) and never had a chance to live the life she wanted. You can imagine how miserable me and my siblings childhood was. So is my brother. He has a child solely to please my parents and he is not a good father as one can imagine. My decision to have children is purely based on my love for children. I had my first impulse of wanting children in my mid twenties. I always knew that I want children. I think I did a reasonable job raising my child and she is a happy young lady now. So grateful for your video!! Thank you again!
I agree what she says at the end of the video. There's no right or wrong. Its your choice.
I've met multiple people who have kids and love it, people with kids who secretly regret it, people who are child free who love it, and people who are child free that regret it. I think the difference between all of these people are simply a mixture of good and bad choices and how much they REALLY know themselves. Just hope that no matter if you say to people whether or not you want children....you're right.
Jean, love your honesty. It is my belief that children should always be wanted by both parents as they're a life long commitment. Even when they are adults, as parents, you still worry. I wish our world would allow people to be childless and not place judgement on them. It's not for everyone. I love how you explained this topic and wish you and your husband all the best!
Hi Christine thanks for the kind note. I'm 100% with you. I hate that some children are here in this world and not gettin the attention they would like to have from their parents. We should be allowed to be different when necessary without facing judgment.
I’m 39 and my husband is 51, we had our son 2 years ago. I never grew up vision boarding kids and instead was such a career woman (and still am, just with tremendous balance) but boy, having that little guy has been my biggest life reward.
Isnt that way too old to have a kid?
@@wheatstonebridgeyou are being rude
@@wheatstonebridgeit’s only too old to have kids when in menopause. Nature makes the rules. Many unexpected pregnancies happen later in life because that’s when women dump the most eggs.
@@wheatstonebridge 35 and 48...I guess we were lucky :).
@@wheatstonebridge o wow smh 🤦🏾♀️
People do not need to have kids.
It is not legally mandated after all!
Even if it is ‘legally mandated’, why would you just listen to them? Stand up and fight.
@@IamaNewCreature Fight? With whom, pray tell?
My comment was meant to reassure Jean that choosing not to have kids, aka ankle biters, is a wise choice and nothing to feel guilty about. That's all.
@@SuiGenerisAbbie I’m an agreement with you, just saying even if it is ‘legally mandated’ that shouldn’t be a reason to have kids, if you don’t want to.
I've watched your videos for years and have gotten great value, but this resonated above all the others. To top off no kids I'm also single and very content. Ironically my career as a family photographer gives me great purpose. Thank you Jean for posting a video I'm certain many will grateful for. I know I am.
thanks for leaving us this kind note. It is a very fortunate thing to be as we are, content & living each day with purpose 🌻😍 so happy you're in this place
Not to mention the price tag they bring along with them ..
You also must be financially stable and 90% will probably have to work your ass off until 68..
It’s a huge responsibility to have kids ..choose wisely..
Society does not support families well enough. Parents struggle to get time with their children for having to work all hours. Yes, it's a tough call and one needs be brave or loaded to think of raising children.
"Kids are a fortune, and it's gonna cost you one"
I feel the same. Always think about it but don't see a big enough reason have have myself right now despite the pressure from others. Your content really resonate with me!
As always, thank you Jean. I see you as a life coach. Your channel continues to inspire me to LIVE and not worry about the small stuff.
I'm so warmed by this video and the loving way you explain such a deeply personal decision. I have had the exact same thoughts as you. It's nice to find like-minded others communicating this choice in a way that isn't defensive but clear, confident, and so evidently filled with joy for life.
I think that people that decide not to have children, are very honest with themselves and absolutely not egoistic people. ❤thank you ❤🙏
Amen, Amen. Life is always about a choice, I am 62 this year and always taken care of my parents, I never had children or been married, I believe the happiness I hear in your voice, your married life gave you many blessings without children, Amen, Amen.
Thank you so much for sharing your view, I really feel connected to everything you said.
I am 45 years old and child-free. This allows me to take financial risks, to make investments and continuously focus on self-improvement and education. I enjoy spending a lot of time outdoors, engaging in training, and practicing meditation. I have complete freedom to live and do as I please, wherever I want. For me, life is so much more enjoyable without children.
Exactly the same.. right down to the meditation and self improvement.. ❤️
All those things above are achievable with Children as well, some people want it ALL !
@@JC-dt7rn That's for sure. Many successful people have big families, so it's definitely possible. Personally, I am just not keen on having kids.
@@JC-dt7rn Agree! Finding dedicated time to commit to adult endeavors and passions is definitely harder with kids, but not impossible. Business travel is hard for the partner staying a home and the guilt for me personally has been hard. Also once the kids are independent you get your time back as well. Either path with or without children has its own set of challenges and rewards. But if you know you really don't like spending time with kids and building a lifelong relationship with them, that's okay too. There is meaning and value to life regardless of you having kids or not.
Agree with everything, no urge to have kids here (44 now). You are a wonderful couple! Hello from Moscow ))
A big THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts so honestly and reflected. I am 59 and have raised my son (32) as a single working mum. I got married and had him because everyone else around me did so. But my marriage failed within one year and raising him was hard and challenging, but also brought out the best in me. I love him very much and wouldn't want to miss him. However, he does not want kids, his girlfriend neither - it was difficult for me to accept and part of me still hopes they will decide to have kids because I would love to have grand kids. But I know, this is one of the not-so-good reasons you mention. It's them who should WANT and FEEL it to be able to cope with the challenges kids bring along. Yes, they might regret it later on, but I also regret a couple of decisions in my life that are irreversible, and yet I am a happy person, so what's the point.
Fantastic video. You really have to be honest with yourself whether children are for you or not. I'm 46 and all my life so far I was never once interested in children. If it doesn't interest you, don't do it. With lots of hobbies, as well as being a world traveler, I feel very fulfilled as a person with no children
We felt the same way at the beginning. Then we decided to adopt. It is not easy, but we are so happy with our decision.
I think having kids is about having them with the right person.❤
Beautiful video Sis 💯💯 Totally agree with all the messages.. and really love the peaceful theme and feeling your videos always bring with it.
Wish ❤️❤️ You and Hubby V ❤️❤️ have a very meaningful and happy life together 🙏🙏💫💫❤️❤️✨✨🙏🙏
Wow! At last, an overdue question and answer! 👌
I am 30 years old and I am childfree too. In day to day life it's realy hard to tell people that I am childfree. Often I just say what they want to hear which "Maybe someday". Because if i said no. Then I would be questioned.
Brave and introspective sharing!!! And often a topic I deep think about. It's the same thing concept as being married or being single - no one is actually better than the other. We choose what we suits us and bring us the best in us. To me the worst is really just doing something because everyone is doing it. ❤❤❤
Definitely, if you have no desire to have children - DO NOT. An unwanted child will almost always have a miserable life. Unloved, not knowing how to love, living in isolation.
This is just SUCH a good video. Calm, measured, thoughtful, intelligent. Thank you. for making it. It is my first time seeing your channel.
Jean, thank you for your honesty. Not everyone is supposed to have kids and I think if most people were honest about their reasons for having kids, those reasons are mostly selfish. That responsibility is not the path for everyone. 🙏🏼 Being child free is such a blessing 🙏🏼
This is such a personal choice and I truly don´t understand the judgement of others. Like...how exactly is this any of your business? Different people find happiness in different things.
I agree, social norms dont equal the correct way all the time…
Great video! Thanks for sharing. Being purposeful/intentional about all of my choices has lead me to be child free. In a sense I feel I live more deeply from the core of my soul, I’m free to continue unraveling “me”. This factor has enriched my life more than words could describe. ❤❤
The fact this is controversial says everything and deserves collective reflection, so thank you for (hopefully) getting us to do just that.
“EEEEEEEVERYONE knows parenting sucks balls, right?”
Yes! Haha - best line of any video ever. Even parents agree. 🙌
To me your life is soooo beautiful and envious. I’ve always wanted a boy and girl which I got, my life would be incomplete without them
Regardless how hard it has been to raise them and I hv 5 grandchildren that are the loves of my life. Honestly I wish my life looked more like yours just with my grown kids and grand kids nearby. Thanks for sharing your beauty life with us 🥰
Totally agree with everything you said. It is a personal choice. My husband and I are childfree and have been together for 27 years. We enjoy our freedom.
“The world doesn’t need more disinterested parents.”
“(*There is no missing peace in my life) labeled, children.”
WOW! Such powerful statements.
My husband and I are childless technically. We had several recurrent miscarriages. Slowly we both just accepted the fact that we would never be parents and we were ok with that. The Lord never promised us children. We’re grateful to have each other and neither of us feel convicted about adoption or fostering. We had started the process of IVF at one point and mid way realized that’s not the route we needed to go down. Contrary to what most people think or thought , we have been so much happier and more at peace since we’ve stopped trying to have children. We received so much judgement from family and friends. It was discouraging… It didn’t matter though, because the Lord brought us so much peace in our decision. Through our pain we still found triumph. It was so unexpected. Our joy comes from the Lord.
Thank you for making this video. It was confirmation I didn’t need but glad to have. God bless you.❤
This is the most beautiful Childfree video I have ever seen. Thank you. 💕
Don't have kids because you feel an arbitrary obligation to having them. You need to have a strong calling to bring new life into the world.
Many of the people who trash your childless lifestyle are jealous of your freedom. Moreover, the won't be there to foot the bill and take on the emotional challenges of raising your kids. They wont even be there to babysit for a weekend. Do what's right for you. This life is short.
SUCH an amazing video, and so eloquent and well put! I recently interviewed Cathrine Forner who said that biologically, only around 25% of people in a community had kids, and the rest of the society were makers, and hunters, and gatherers and helped raise the children or helped the community in one way or another. I love this kind of thinking!
I am 47 and have always been child free. I now realize I missed a big blessing by choosing not to be a mom. Overall, I am very content with my decision and I wouldn't undo it. But as my friends are turning into grandparents, I realize I forfeited something huge in life. I wouldn't go back and do differently though. Just make sure you are clear about your why - why you have kids or why you don't. All the best to you and your hubby!
I think it is the fantasy you are craving now. Years ago when my colleges had (young) kids I was never jealous. I never wanted kids, the responsibility, cost, risks, no freedom. Now these colleges are becoming grandparents and that is a whole different dynamic. Sometimes I feel left out and that is a strange experience but still I can not say I want kids!
So lovely that you feel the way you do.
🌻😊
Jean, what a beautiful content you make… it’s about contentment, fulfillment and satisfaction in life that you eloquently elaborate.
I agree that each individual has a different purpose in life that makes them content.
And boy how lovely to see those who are content outside the societal boundaries.
Best wishes to you both!
thanks for this very kind note Handini :)
We have same life perspective as yours. I support you. From Taiwan.
Parenthood offers a unique joy and fulfillment that comes from nurturing a child and watching them grow. The love, pride, and happiness they bring add new meaning to life. Raising children also allows you to pass down your values, traditions, and memories, ensuring that your legacy continues. Without children, the generation ends with us, and the opportunity to build a lasting family history fades.
While the decision to have kids is personal, parenthood encourages growth, brings new adventures, and provides support as we age. Though challenging at times, the emotional richness and rewards of raising children often make it one of life’s most fulfilling experiences.
Of course, the decision to have children is deeply personal, and it’s important that it aligns with your life goals and desires. But if you choose to take the step into parenthood, you might find that it opens up a new chapter of joy, growth, and love that you hadn’t fully imagined.
Wishing you the best on your journey, whatever you choose.
I am 38, married and 3 kids and never before I felt so in companion as right now, planning all together, travelling all together, learning together or just staying in home preparing the meal , always there is something new to do everywhere, monotony doesnt exist in our everyday, you learn something new with kids and from them. Never before I have been so active phisically and emotional as I do now 😂😂and I don't regret, the only I regret is ;why I dont have them when younger? Planning a family is a carefully decision "of two", not an option. If you or your couple have doubts or insecure about so stay alone and dont try it.
To be honest, having kids or not having is fully a couple decision.... But having a little son or daughter call you dada or mama just feels magical, i can't really explain it.... I am sure people will be alright 🙏
you also need to realise, that for some people its completely opposite. those words spoken can be the worst. everyone different. good luck to everyone in their choices.
I think people who have no children have no imagination on what they are missing out. And people who don't have children I assume have some underlying issue.
I was always very uncertain; and if it takes away my freedom etc etc..but having it there is nothing comparable. It's just another chapter in life; which is so amazing.
You will probably never be sure; you must be brave. But you shouldn't not fade the biggest miracle in life.
@@chefse5442 I guess you also don't know what you are missing by having kids and no personal life or freedom, I have seen many colleagues who are so tired of kids that they don't want to go home or don't even want holidays because they fear of taking care of kids
@@chefse5442it's a miracle I can travel everywhere I want every month
@@chefse5442 You know, some people just don't want the responsibility to raise a child since it's the biggest and longest responsibility you can have in life. Not everyone who can have children is able to be a good, healthy parent for the child. It is much more complex than just this "biggest miracle in life". I'd personally much more rather regret not having children than having children, plus: you can't regret something you never wanted in the first place.
I think it's a question of how you want to spend your time. If childcare and tending to screaming needy creatueres is your gig, then good luck to you. Basically every study out there says happiness drops if you have children (compared to child free) and only rises again when they leave home 25 years later. Many men I know make every excuse under the sun to not return to the stress and boredom of family after a day of work in the office. While it is true you would not know what it is like having kids till you have them, the same could be said about setting yourself on fire: you've got a pretty good idea. When people ask me what our lives are like without kids, I reply, like yours were in your 20s before you had them. For most, that was the best time in their lives, and not just because they were young.
LOL
Totally agree! Thank you for saying this so eloquently.
Before we started our hawker stall in 2018, we made a decision to not have kids. The hawker business took all our time, attention and energy literally 24/7.
Now that we are early retired, we are living our best lives sans kids. Thanks for making this video. We totally resonate with all your reasons ❤
I decided to not have kids and i did the tubal ligation, Now i think that was a bit radical, sometimes i just feel that i would like to have the choice.. I thought I was 100% sure, but something kind of shifted. I'm usually travelling, changing countries.. And a part of me still want this kind of life, but theres a little part inside of me that would like to settle and have a family, (kids of my own). i'm 37 now and i feel sad about this, plus I really would like to have a long term relationship, and im struggling with that, because most of the guys who want to commit want kids, then the ones that don't want kids just want a "free" life, friends with benefits, etc..
It is the government and politicians who need kidz. They need sustainable taxpayers. They want the state to remain because that is where their salaries and benefits come from.
They need national health insurance to remain in place. Without kidz, the national health and pension system would collapse, and the country could not survive.
You're looking young with each video. Kids will ruin your retirement plan.
We'll be in Bali in June! I'll keep an eye out for you guys!
I fully admire you for living your truth and choosing the right path for you and your husband!! You said it all beautifully
Wonderful video, thank you for sharing your thoughts ❤
glad it resonated 🙏🌻
Like your point - people should have kids if they really want them! Life is great anyway. Thanks for sharing your family story, Jean ❤❤
Thank you thank you for talking about this so openly. Just found your channel. ❤