To Men Who Don't Want Kids...
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- Опубліковано 6 лют 2021
- Talking about why I don't want kids has always been a touchy subject (I've learned from experience). I find people often are very sensitive about it, especially existing parents, even though my thoughts on it in no way impact them.
My intention with this video is not to convince anyone of anything, but just to give a different perspective on a topic that is very much one-sided during discussions in society.
That being said, I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions in the comments on why you do or do not want to have children. I love reading them!
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Thank you for coming to my TedTalk! Seriously though, life is complex and children for many people make up a huge part of their life. I've found people can be irrationally sensitive about this topic, and I want to restate, I mean no offence to anyone. Peace & Happiness!
It was a legitimate use of your self-expression. Bravo! 👏👏👏
I hear that! I feel the same way! Never had kids and never regretted it. Middle aged and happy with my life 😁
I have kids,,, and I hear what you have said and I agree with you.... My daughter has decided not to have kids for the same reason. Life is hard and its only going to get harder and who the hell wants to work for pennies while the 1% lives so much better.
Thanks for sharing. Great to have parents acknowledge the challenges and show understanding. I'm sure that is going to have a very good impact on your daughter. Not feeling pressured and all that
" I mean no offence to anyone" Then why did you say "must be a bot"?
Not being born into this world is the best gift a parent can give
Feels that way sometimes. A paradox of life
Your a comedian 😄😄
True
Nice Attack on Titan reference there
This should be on tee shirts and billboards
I'm too selfish with my time, and I'm too introverted.
That's great self awareness. I feel the same way!
It's not being selfish,, you are self aware and honest.
I’m too selfish about my sleep 🤷🏾♀️
Actually you are being selfless because you are protecting the environment
Ugh, Can relate
I love my non-existent children too much to bring them into this cruel world.
I like that perspective!
@@AdrianLoganLive things the Bible said would happen has and is happening
Well said!
Best answer!
Exaclty!
I’m 31, and I’ve noticed all my friends who have kids are unhealthy, miserable, drained constantly, have no freedom, could barely afford to live let alone travel, have mental
Health issues, meanwhile I’m healthy, happy, growing everyday, having so many experiences, travel constantly, making new friends, new relationship, things are amazing without kids or the pressure to do so.. never feel guilty for what you want or don’t want.. own it.
Thank you and I agree. In fact I think over the next couple decades there is actually to be a cultural shift where people realize that and under population becomes a major concern. I think covid really sped that up. To go from concerns of overpopulation to potential under population would be a dramatic shift. But I think it's coming.
Thanks for sharing!
@@AdrianLoganLive hey look in to resourced based economy if ur worried for where the world is going aka the venus project
@@MrDannysomebody I first watched documentaries on the Venus Project and jacque fresco probably 15 years ago. It's all great in theory but I'm not convinced that it will play out in practise. Would love to see it happen though.
Honestly boring single without your own family it’s really not the hype people say it is. It’s actually quite sad and you do get lonely at times.
@@syedahbowden1512 you are only suffering your sexual desire for a partner. As a polarised human we can enjoy immersion in a significant others energy.
However they are not your organs so your desire is culturally advocated.
Your pain is psychobiological, however you will never be fulfilled lool
no kids = more freedom, more money, more peace, less worries. Sounds amazing? Hell yeaaaa
No shortage of advantages thats for sure!
yep. I'm getting near that age where everyone is having kids/getting married. I cannot relate to them since I have tons of freedom and disposable income. I'm going to buy me a motorcycle and tour around america. Something I would not be able to do if I had kids.
Good point
I'm child free, semi retired, debt free including mortgage, can live and travel anywhere.......more peaceful and content life.
I love my cat 🐈
I dont want kids but I dont know where to find a man who also doesn't want one but still want to get married. I just want a simple life, traveling and being in love with one man forever.
That's certainly always been a concern for myself as well. And as you can see below from a comment by Elidia, it's important that when you start getting serious with someone you have this discussion with them and share your views and get a feel for what the other person wants. The comment below shows the unfortunate future where you just may have to break up with your love if this isn't talked about early.
Some people choose to have kids anyway for the sake of being in a relationship, others choose their ideal life of being child free and wait for a partner that compliments that desire. It's certainly tough. If you ever do the online dating thing, May be good to add that to your profile to filter for only those who also don't want children.
I met my partner online, and it's been the greatest relationship I've ever had 4 years strong.
Be well!
@@AdrianLoganLive thank you!! Definitely something to talk about at the beginning of a relationship.
You kind of worry if they ever telling the truth or just want to get in relationship. We live in a hookup culture so its hard but I stay positive. 🙏
@@marthaayalew2505 Trust me, there are more than you think out there. Some men love to make money and not have to spend it on kids lol.
What's the point of marriage if you don't want kids?
@@x99999x commitment between two ppl.
Great video. I'm 43, never married, no children. I don't want them. I don't want to bring them into this cruel world.
Thank you Robby!
@@contactATashleygriffin erm....
This cruel world is made for only certain people, tough enough to find this cruel world as nice place.
@@contactATashleygriffin It sounds like you're trying to shame someone who says they don't want children. If that's the case then people like you are a part of the problem. Believe it or not there are actually people who don't want kids or to be stuck in a marriage. There are many married people with kids who they were single and childless. Not everything is for everyone.
@@goxyeagle8446 This cruel world is for cruel people who love to be vindictive.
As a woman, the pressure is immense. So I feel everything you’re saying. 👌🏾❤️
Ya'll definitely have it tougher in general
We don’t have the luxury of “time” like men do. They can get older and always go back to a younger woman to create more legacy. We are pretty much stuck with whatever the hell we get up until maybe 40-45. Lmao. It’s a no for me dawg
@Fires And Flowers More like a bit over 40 for most women.
Definitely. Yall get it way worse than guys do
A woman said she inherited her abusive father's red hair, and chose to be childless, out of fear of being as bad a parent as he was. (I have my father's nasty disposition, and I never liked kids, even when I was one).
More men should talk about this topic!!!!!!
Such a taboo topic for some reason. Women should too for that matter!
Adrian Logan I’ve been contemplating talking about it but it takes so much courage to articulate what’s in my mind. I admire how you were able to break down some of the reasons why you remain CF. Whereas for me it’s just really been a gut feel that I’ve had since I was young...not quite sure how to talk about it aside from “I just don’t feel it” lol. Maybe more words will come out when I get the video going. Just curious did you plan out what you were going to say or did it flow very naturally?
@@spiceycookie I totally understand that Haha I've had a note to create a video around this for well over a year but wasn't sure how to go about it.
This is actually one of my hand full of videos that were not outlined. I don't feel like the video was super concise but you got to remember you're only seeing the edited version. It was originally MUCH longer because I would go off on tangents, or repeat similar points or babble on for too long. So this is after I edited and removed the fluff and attempted to make it concise.
Granted, I've had conversations on the topic so I know what points being generally bring up to try to convince me to have kids. So as I sit down I just started talking as if I was talking to a friend...and provided my view knowing what typical counter arguments would be lol
Nothing wrong with making a list of like 7 bulletpoints and then just talking about each one openly. I wouldn't script it word for word though. I used to make videos like that and it's hard for a viewer to connect that way. Too unnatural. just let it flow!...and when editing you can clean it up a bit
I agree
Lots of women talk about this. Unfortunately some are already moms and have videos about how they regret it. That would suck as a child to find those years later. Yes kids are hard, it’s a sacrifice, but without people who want to love and raise great children, none of us would have doctors, nurses, and farmers in the future. It’s great not everyone has children, but don’t forget we all rely on parents.
Sometimes , I don`t even want myself to exist, let alone me + a child
I feel that
Exactly.
Exactly!!
Me too
Big facts. Most ppl will not communicate this out loud... I posted a question on my WhatsApp asking my friends if they had to choice to be born would they? And all of them answered no. I text them back & asked if u would not be want to be born on this Earth, why did u give birth to children or why would u?!?!
Some of us are not meant to have children, or get married, basically raised families. Some of us are meant to be alone, and I am so tired of having to defend this! I am introverted and have always been this way. The disruption of my life has always come from going against my nature and follow what is constantly being marketed to us, by brothers, sisters, parents, society, etc.
I feel that. I think you just inspired a video topic I want to make. Discussing the extremities, experiences and even cons of the far introverted perspective. We don't fit nicely into this world, and it takes a lot of effort for us to navigate trying to shape ourselves to function in this world where the majority are strangely different from us.
I'll have to think through it more but I believe there are many people who feel they could relate to that discussion. Isn't properly understood yet by the world.
I actually made a video specifically trying to clarify some things about introverts. Let me know what you think - ua-cam.com/video/rDpe5COgRgk/v-deo.html
@AdrianLoganLive I agree and it would be helpful. I'm an introvert and have always felt I don't fit into this world....especially western society.
34 and happily childfree. Having kids has never appealed to me and the world reaffirms that I'm making the right decision every day.
I hear you with that last part!
42 and childfree
35 and child free
Cuz u don’t know how to be a woman and serve the purpose… it’s ok that people don’t plan to have kids but to have one is not a bad thing. They should be a motivation also to grow
@@TraPortal007 *rolls eyes*
My thoughts exactly. I'm not depressed or suicidal but I opted out of the procreation experience. Can't understand how people get background checks before getting a job, credit checked to buy a house, or a license to drive, but any idiot can have a kid without any proper preparation. Parenting classes should be mandatory for those who choose to make humans.
lol if governing bodies thought they could get away with regulating childbirth, and if they didn't need growing populations to depend on for tax etc, they totally would require some sort of qualification for having kids! haha
true lol
there is lots of them kind of people having kids i am so glad t dont have kids and not wanting them
omggggggggggggggggggggggggg wow jackpot lili this hit home
Preach 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
when I'm 50 and have done everything I want in life I think I'll adopt a teenager and give them every opportunity in life.
This is a consideration I've kept in the back of my mind. I don't want a child of my own, but would love to find ways to take on a fatherly role and share my knowledge and resources later on in life. Adoption, mentorship, volunteering. Help out the people already here.
This is a great consideration but you've always got to think about the societal implications of choices. Imagine a huge ass chunk of society doing this...
Why is that a worthwhile consideration when no one is campaigning for everyone to do it? I only see a benefit in considering the "what if everyone did this" perspective if someone is evangelizing that practise. In this case it's just an individuals decision.
Applying that "what if" consideration to individual decisions would be a disaster in practically any situation one could think of.
@@aysepersona4194 that would be probably a good thing lol do you know how many children don't have homes and would wanna be adopted?
@@aysepersona4194 There are over 400,000 kids in the foster care system and that number keeps going up. More people should do this instead of pumping out kids they don’t really want.
I hate when people say “I want someone to care for me when I’m old “. They don’t think about circumstances of a child being born with disabilities that prevent them from caring for themselves let alone their parents. Children die before their parents. Sometimes children and parents don’t like each other…
I appreciate your video.
Very true. If there's one thing you can bet on about life, it's that it won't work out the way you expect it too. A lot of elderly living alone or in retirement homes, who have children but never see them. That's the truth of it. Thanks for sharing!
We life in the best times to prevent things like this
So true. Honestly I hear that a lot. Kids taking care of old parents. I’m not a fan of that. If I had kids I would tell them to help me find a good home because I would want them to enjoy their life. I would not want to be that burden.
@@AdrianLoganLive Facts. I hated the way that my relatives just casually put my poor grandmother into a nursing home and then just visited her sometimes. She had 3 kids that she cared for tremendously but I still saw that happen. :(
I never wanted children, it was never something that I considered. I am married to my husband of 11 years and he doesn't want children either. I think I got lucky to have a spouse that felt the same way. We are very happy and we watch other couples who have children and they are MISERABLE, and wanting a divorce. It's sad. 😔
Same here. My partner and I didn't discuss children until a bit further into our relationship and we got lucky that we each ended up not wanting any. I'm very thankful for that. Like you said...lot of miserable couples running around with kids
@@AdrianLoganLive that's great that you two are on the same page as well. I think not wanting children for both of us stems from growing up in divorced families. Both of us dealt with our parents divorcing around the age of 7 or 8. And it left a sting in my thought process about having children in the future. I feel that on both sides our parents didn't try hard enough and they were selfish but couldn't admit it. And I admit, I am selfish to the extent that I love my time alone, and spending it with my husband with no distractions. I love sleep too. Lol. Thank you for taking the time to respond earlier. 🙏 much appreciated to not feel alone from my choices.
Totally understand that. For my partner and I...I think we are just so keenly aware of what it takes to raise a child and knowing that if we undertook being a parent we would have to do it the "right" way and really sacrifice ourselves to be the type of parents we would want to be....and that awareness of the effort, time, responsibility and sacrifice it would take is far more than we are willing to take on lol Just wouldn't be worth it.
Agreed. The awareness of our own selfishness is what gives us the power to acknowledge we don't want that life. Unfortunately for others they never accept or acknowledge that...or did too late.
Thank you for sharing!
So lucky 🥰
What's the point of marriage anyways
I’m renaming this video - “To People who don’t want kids...” I’m a woman and this speaks to me. Society is way harder on women for feeling this way. We need to normalize the child free by choice life style💪✌️
haha After seeing how many women found their way to this video and have commented sharing their thoughts and being able to relate to the video, I considered doing just that. Though the UA-cam algorithm is a cruel mistress and changing the title could mess with it's exposure. So I will wait until the video traffic dies down before messing with anything.
You're totally right, women have it much worse from society when choosing the childfree path. Thanks for dropping in Ava :)
Oh yes, society comes for us. But doesn’t help us raise our children or even allow to breastfeed in public. It’s such a trap.
Where is society telling you this, with feminists on the rise and pride it's quite the opposite
@@Katiemadonna3I think the reason people come for the women who don't want kids more than their male counterparts is because people have a tendency to associate parenthood with femaleness due to women being the primary caregivers in most situations. If you see someone come specifically for women who don't want kids ask them to examine whether or not their biased due to being mostly raised by women in their childhoods.
@@Katiemadonna3why do you need to breast feed in public ?
I decided to not have children, but my younger brother is getting a son. Im looking forward to be a dope ass uncle. The uncle that takes him to amusement parks, teach him skateboarding and videogames
And as soon it starts crying i'll return it to my brother 😂
That's literally what I did/do with my sisters children lol All the upside and none of the downside. Unbalanced in the best possible way 😂
Bru said getting a son lmao 😂😂😂
Congrats to your sister bro
That's the relationship I have with my niece 😂😅
“My brother is getting a son” made me chuckle 😂
I would feel guilty to bring a child in this world.
I know what you mean
Same thing
As long you have less than 3 kids it’s okay, the ones with 7 kids should feel guilty
@@shayseahawkraptorfan you're WRONG. Having even just one kid is guilty. By bringing a kid into this world, you force them to exist in a world full of all sorts of harms and suffering which the kid can become a victim of. The kid didn't ask to be born and they, like most of us, will be forced to go to school and then work for most of their life just to be able to afford to eat and have somewhere to live. And when they can FINALLY afford to retire, they are close to old age and close to death. By having kids, you ultimately sentence them to death with suffering and struggling inbetween. All for what? All just because YOU "wanted to pass on your genes" "want kids to take care of YOU when YOU'RE older" "YOU want a mini me" "YOU want someone to love YOU unconditionally" etc etc. These are all SELFISH reasons that serve only the parents. Non-existent children are NOT somewhere begging to be born. They are blissfully non-existent until some parent decides to drag them from the peaceful void into this dying, failing, cruel world all just for their selfish reasons of wanting to be a parent.
The KINDEST and MOST COMPASSIONATE thing to do is to not bring kids into this world.
I love my non-existent children too much to bring them into this cruel world.
@@sevena.channel Agree with that. Thats why I am childfree
Its an illusion sold to people,that having kids make you happy but its a lie. You are enlightened to the truth. I respect that.
Thank you. There's many ways to find happiness and fulfillment. Children certainly aren't a requirement.
Having kids doesn't bring you happiness you bring a kid into this world to give them happiness that you already have.🤷🏻♀️
@@wildlovesould I believe as a parent your childs happiness is important, but I don't believe anyone is having children for the *purpose* of giving someone happiness. There are loads of already existing beings which that effort and energy could be split amongst to create vastly more happiness if that was the true priority.
@@AdrianLoganLive You're absolutely right on BOTH points!
@@AdrianLoganLive
The problem is adults creating new life thoughtlessly. Definitely there are some whom shouldn't even have that ability and being a parent certainly isn't for everyone.
Having kids is the fruit of your tree, but not all trees give fruits and that's fine. So please don't speak like children are the pest, remember that you all once were one and I bet you are grateful to be alive otherwise you wouldn't be able to live all the experiences you have... 🖖🏻
A lot of people want people who don’t want kids to have this super in depth answer to why they don’t want them. But the fact of the matter is, simply not wanting kids is a valid reason. You can just not want them just because you don’t want to deal with them. Knowing and understanding that it’s a hard pass on kids is waaaayyy better than bringing a child in to the world that you don’t want.
You're absolutely right. I find it's often people who don't want children that are more thoughtful about their choice compared to some people who want children. Which is odd given the massive undertaking it is having children.
no one tells you how hard parenting is. they just tell you its a joy. they don't tell you how you might have to do it alone because your partner isn't happy in the relationship, cheats or whatever. They don't tell you you could be a single parent. they don't tell you you lose yourself in it. you are no longer "..." you just become "...'s mom"
That's a big one. The identity loss in so many people. It's a shame more parents don't speak up, even if in private with young men and woman and let them know it's not all joy and happiness. But that would be admitting they aren't experiencing all joy and happiness, and face the doubts and possible regrets they have and people tend to want to avoid that level of confrontation with themselves. Becoming a parent deserves higher consideration for sure. You're so right Maxine
@@AdrianLoganLive OMG A REPLY. Thankyou 💜 I'm on the bests form of birth control because of this. No babies coming from me. But yes if kids asked family or their parents maybe even friends they'll all ssy its a joy and totally worth it and would even recommend it. I've seen all the things that could happen when you have kids. I can't guarantee I'd give them the same thing I had as a child
haha I always reply to comments! I appreciate it
@@AdrianLoganLive *subscribers immediately!*
Thanks. Hope you enjoy the content. Welcome :)
Im 60 and never regretted my choice to be CF. Its kept me young looking and stress free. Life isnt perfect for any of us but I'm grateful not to have the worry of what this world could do to my non existent children.
Wow, you look young. I thought you are 30!
@@mrcat655 you're very kind x
Fun fact: Stress makes you age faster
@@RandomSkull69420 no doubt
You really do look younger!
I'm a childfree 40 year old woman. It's refreshing to hear a coherent argument from a man. I've ended relatiiondhips over my decision to remain childfree. I've never given in! I work in education and off cycling/camping across europe in 3 weeks for a month 😊
Thank you, and congrats! Life is too short to spend it conforming to other people's expectations of us. Enjoy the trip!
@kristianafanasi352do not have kids. Kill your line
I'm 47 my 35 year old wife wants kids but I don't. Been married for 10 years. Think I might have to let this one go.
@jasonbrown7258 So at 35, you married a 22/23 year old woman? Did you not think about this when you married a women 12 years younger who was barely into adulthood, who did not have time to experience life or was that the point? Did you discuss children before getting married?
@@suzettewilliams1758 she knew I had been fixed so obviously she knew I didn't want kids. And at the time yes she didn't want kids either.
We do live in a bit of a crazy time right now which is making people think a bit more about the pros and cons of having kids rather than just having kids because "it's what you do."
Totally. I think we are also starting to release ourselves from the bondage of traditions and expectations and starting to think more freely and really question things.
Wife without kids! Let me guess, childfree? haha It's good for people to have women like you talking about it, so people can make an informed decision and realize it really is a choice. Keep it up!
@@AdrianLoganLive Thanks.
Hannah! I would love to see you do a reaction/response video to this one. 😊
Interesting handle, Are you childless or childfree?
#SincereQuestion
I think the times when people just had kids cause that's just 'what you do' without giving it any thought whatsoever were the crazy ones.
Having children is lifelong commitment not just a commitment from birth to 18 years old. If your child becomes ill or is born with a disability are you just going to abandon them? No, you have to take care of them.
Exactly.
Yes, we have a lot of that in my family. My parents (God bless them) are still being burdened by some of my siblings who are well into their 60's. Many people have problems - not always just physical - and often parenting becomes a lifelong affair.
the smarter a person is, the less they want children...
Since making this video, I've come across articles and other videos from studies that have suggested that too and the reasons why. Not to say I'm super smart or anything, but I'm certainly not dumb lol I understand why being child free is becoming more of a thing people are using their freedom to do. With religion and the prioritizing of family expectations over personal choice having less affect on the way people live their life, I think this will continue to trend upwards with people not having children!
@@AdrianLoganLive exactly. And religion isn't a smart persons thing either. There are so much more especially a woman can do than just produce and raise children. My theory is that there are souls who come to earth to procreate and others, who come to create. If a person does not have anything special about them, the only way they can make their existence meaningful, is through having children. I understand the wish with my mind, but cannot accept it with my emotions cause there just isn't anything in that place. But I understand taking responsibility for other people (children included) when I need to step up and help. I hope you get your wishes fulfilled in this life. Have a nice day 😊
All the best to you too! Thank you
What? 😂 There is no correlation
errrm sorry biology suggests the opposite ;)
I'm starting to realize that I don't want kids.... I think it's going to ruin my current relationship but I have to be honest with myself.
That's a tough realization to come to, and even tougher conversation to have. But necessary if both of your visions for the future conflict. I hope in the end you are at peace long term with whatever decision you end up making. All the best!
Its worth talking to your partner about, better yet now to discuss then later if it does end things (God forbid).
I had two pregnancy scares when I was 22. Knew immediately I wasn't cut out for fatherhood. Am oldest of four boys, and after youngest brother were two younger cousins that I ended up babysitting a lot during my teen years. By the time I finished high school I had done all the parenting I ever wanted to do. So, not wanting to press my luck, after having my second pregnancy scare resolved, I went and got a vasectomy. HUGE relief that pregnancy was off the table forever. My time and my life are mine. If that makes me selfish, so be it.
I'm really considering a vasectomy myself haha Haven't yet pulled the trigger but I think about it often!
@@AdrianLoganLive Takes a whole lot of issues and discussions out of the mix. Can't imagine having live ammo anymore. The peace of mind is worth everything.
I can imagine that, definitely would do it for me as well. In the near future for sure
Too bad they don’t make men’s birth control yet! .. it’s less invasive than surgery. Imagine - an IUD for guys. Lol. It would take some of the pressure off of the ladies. Also it sucks to get an iud but I’m certain child birth is way worse.
@@willah1779 All I know is that I don't want kids in any way, shape or form, so a little surgery is fine with me. I'm not responsible for anyone else.
I’ve never been crazy about kids. Even when I was a kid ..l didn’t particularly like other kids and babies have always made me uncomfortable. Being a young woman there’s too much pressure to have kids! Makes me crazy when strangers get nosy and take this decision so personally. 🙄 I don’t care if anyone else wants/ doesn’t want kids. They have a right to make the best choice for them. I didn’t give this much thought until about 6 years ago and I suddenly realized one day I never gave kids a thought ! I never saw myself as a mom and definitely cannot see myself being anyone’s mom ever. I want to get more tattoos, spend time on my hobbies.. this includes my job as a hairdresser, hiking, biking, sewing, yoga, hanging out with my dog, and being with my Boyfriend.. and he doesn’t want kids either 🤗
That's great when there is a mutual desire in a relationship when children aren't wanted by coincidence. Helps avoid some really tough situations. Glad to hear you had the self-awareness prior to getting pregnant and can move into the future intentionally!
I'm the same way never liked kids even as a kid myself and whenever I'm around someone with a baby I don't get excited like most people do. I feel super uncomfortable in those situations.
copy that, when I was a kid, I always got along better with adults. Neighbors, sports coaches, teachers, etc.
Modern life is exhausting. We can’t afford kids anymore. Technology is surely making people worse. I feel the same about the future.
I agree. With all its conveniences, advantages and apparent benefits, Its hard to tell if we are going down a path that is ultimately saving humanity or dooming it (Talking like 50 years out.
For all we know we may have reached peak technological balance 10 years ago. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love what technology does for me and all its conveniences etc. But the future being such an uncertain place, it will be interesting to see how we as humanity adapt.
This is the truth
@@AdrianLoganLive We can always do better via technology in the medical field. Especially for kids, we can't stop advancing until they stop suffering. Adults is different because on average, it was something we done to ourselves. I.E. I cut off a piece of my own hand by accident. Could have been seen back on but was too late.
I have a fracture and bone spur in my foot from my 20 years of walking at work, however, it's like that because of a deformity in both my feet that wasn't corrected when I was born. My feet curve inward, but because I was born that way, they could have put castes on my feet and my growing bones inside the caste would have grown into proper formation.
No one noticed my deformed feet though.
So, it would always help being better advanced in technology for our medical field.
@@christins.1481 My point isn't that we can't do better technologically (Technology grows exponentially, it will continue to develope). What I meant is that the point where technology advancement while also being sustainable together may have already been passed.
There's only so many resources in the world, there's only so much trees you can take down. If you watched the Sea-Spiracy documentary our technology for catching various fish in the oceans is so good we are absolutely wiping out species to the point they can't reproduce fast enough. I could give many examples but there comes a point when our technologies and the resources they require or consume become soooo great that we pass the point of balance and sustainability. I think it's possible we have passed that point.
Yes technology can continue to get better, but the cost of it will be future generations suffering for what we are enjoying right now. It's possible the generations growing up 50 years from now won't have it as good as we have it right now. Not because we don't have the technology, but because of how irresponsible we are right now.
Just because we have the understanding and technology to do things, doesn't meant we should.
An obvious example: Just 100 years ago if an all out war was fought using the best technology that existed...we could still recover. Now if an all out war was fought with the best weapons we have, there is no way for civilization to recover. Hopefully that all out war never happens.
I somehow doubt that you would want to trade modern life for being a mother to 12 children of whom 8 would already be dead by you where 35 years old... we live like aristocracy was living in 17th century - having free time, having discussions about meaning of life.
Salute to all the men out there who know what they want and stick to it unashamedly. I was convinced into having a kid, and regret it almost every day. Miss my old life.
Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of self-awareness and self-acceptance to be open about that.
Are you better now or still regretful?
@@seektruth5750 Good question. It's gotten better since I first posted. The love is there. But life is still much HARDER. You have to really really really want this if you are to succeed.
@@stugooden7826 glad to hear that, what makes it better now?
@@seektruth5750 the kids older now so that makes a difference
My reasons are straightfoward. I don't want kids because I'm an asocial hedonist. I care more about my career, hobbies, and enjoying life than raising some kid. I barely enjoy the company of people so I know for a fact I will not enjoy the company of children lol. I'd rather be traveling, having fun trying new things, and engaging in an interesting career.
Couldn't have summarized it better myself. I'm with you on all of that. Ideally I want to rotate spending 6-12 months in different countries for 10 years or so once Im in a position to earn an appropriate income remotely. So much to life that I would be giving up if I had a child because I know I would be very much involved and focused on doing my all for the child. So I'd rather just avoid it
Same. I get called selfish a lot....i dont want to dedicate my entire life raising another human, sacrificing time, money, my health, career, etc, yea it makes me selfish. Sure.
Its ok, I've been called worse!
@@driley5004 but like in the grand scheme of the universe, who are people to tell u what u can or cant do in this thing we called life while we have it, which really, we're just dust particles in the wind of the universes infinity, f people
@@driley5004 It would only be selfish if you felt that way, and had children anyway, and just expected them to deal with how you live. Nothing selfish about not wanting kids. How could anyone even think that?
@@throttle4593 Selfish is bringing kiddos to this world. They do it for approval and to meet social needs
I was dating this guy and his parents when they had his little brother knowing damn well they couldn’t afford it. Mother had baby fever because everyone at work was having kids. (Selfish decision). They had him, they actually ended up becoming homeless for while and had to move in with grandma. People who say I don’t want kids call me selfish. However what I just mentioned above is selfish in my opinion... having a kid knowing well that you can barely afford to feed them or let alone have a home is probably one of the most selfish things I’ve ever heard of. All in all don’t have kids for other people or for “status” reasons. This is selfish. Have a kid only because you want to and your mentally and financially capable. Don’t have kids for other people opinions.
I agree. Situations like that are textbook cases of being harmfully selfish. In that case it sounds like there was little self awareness regarding their life circumstance in general. Having children is such a tremendously big decision it sometimes amazes me how lightly the decision is made by people.
Omg its like you are inside my head. Couldnt have said it better!
u reminded me of my parents which already had me at an older age and could really be my grandparents but also took in my moms grandkids cuz my half sister died, yet the other true sisters could've taken them and also they whole other father side family amongst a grandmother a grandfather and 7 uncles smh yeah i got f##%#
What you are saying is the situation that haunts my nation India. People have a breeder mentality. They just want kids, they would be broke af, they wouldn't have a house to call their own, they wouldn't have the mental composure to maintain a child and yet they will bang away to gain status and be one with tradition through having a child. It's incredibly selfish and disgusting.
I agree. It just perpetuates a toxic culture of placing the highest of importance on what other people think about them. It's an old style of thinking where people care what others think more than they care for their own well being. Very sad
It’s refreshing to hear a man’s opinion on being childfree by choice.
36, single and childless. I’m not happy, but I doubt having a kid would make me happy. I never understood why there are some that would label me as selfish for not wanting children. To me it’s far more selfish to bring another life into an already overpopulated world just because it’s what YOU want. You’re doing it for you, not the kid.
I’ve had a rough life wrought with physical and mental health issues. I don’t like people very much. I’m not the kind of person that should be having kids. I would just mess the kid up. And that’s okay. I don’t mind dying alone and leaving nothing behind. Because I’ll be dead. And one day the whole universe will be dead and nobody will remember anything.
Humans are weird.
When we zoom out far enough quite literally everything can become insignificant. I hear you man!
I agree, humans are weird. And I'm looking forward to one day being off this planet of humans.
It's actually underpopulation but evil nonetheless animals eat animals and plants which don't want to be eaten
The answer "I don't want to bring a child into this world" is the best answer and needs no extra explanation. No one asked me if I wanted to be born. If they had asked, I'd have said 'hell no'! I have suffered too much to recommend this experience called life to anyone.
I agree. It requires no further explanation. Thanks for sharing Rachela
@@wickedbg Wealth or lack thereof has nothing to do with it. You know how many rich people and celebrities commit suicide?
Great point. I agree.
Look up Anti-Natalism ☺️
@@wickedbg I yelled at my Mom as a kid, asking why she had me if she knows cancer runs in the family. I was a child, no breasts yet and already having a breast cancer scare in the doctor's office.
I'm not having kids because my bloodline is dying with me.
I definitely wouldn't recommend life to anyone
It's not an adventure everyone would willingly choose to go on if given a choice
I rather regret not having kids than regret having them. That's my simple explanation lol.
I'm with you on that!
"The best gift you can ever give to your children is not to have them in the first place." - Tinka
Defeatism
@@arturow2686 And what's wrong with defeatism?
@@tinkageorgewilliam871 creates a bad world and therefore suffering. Oh you guys make me really glad you don't have children haha
@@arturow2686 You can go have your world. My kids are better off never born and I am not about to change my mind. And by the way... I am successful at a personal level, but I know that's it's all not worth it.
@@tinkageorgewilliam871 you can't speak for your children a healthy mind is grateful for exsistance. It doesn't matter if you're successful on a personal level to the world because you will not pass that on, wile bad people will do that. If you believe you have right to decide over your own life then how can you decide over the life of your children they are better off not existing. I hope you can stay happy and positive and not turn out to be bitter about exsistance, but based on your comment I'm not sure if that already happened.
42, married, child-free. DINK FTW!
I was never interested in having kids. It was never an internal debate or anything. I don't want horses or a hot air balloon, either.
You're living the dream my friend. Me and my partner are both working on getting our incomes up, but would love to soon be in a position to make a healthy remote income and do some long term traveling and enjoy our freedom. All the best to you and your partner!
@Idiotic Beyond Measure Could you expound on that further?
From your Username I guess you are German, hallo mein Freund ich grüße dich. Ich bin in Deutschland selten auf Menschen gestoßen die keine Kinder wollen, Chapeau 😁👍🏼 endlich mal
Best UA-cam comment! Love it! I am 41 and I feel the same.
Searched for this video to validate my feelings about not wanting kids. 😅
I'm happy to be your source of confirmation bias haha
@@AdrianLoganLive 😆
Same and im 15 year old
Having children is a serious decision. It can be tough. You body will undergo big changes and also your pocket lol and your freedom. I do love my children to bits but it is tough
☺
I'm 38. I don't want kids. I don't like kids. I don't want to take care of kids. I want my time for me and whatever I want to do. I just don't have the love or patience to nurture another human.
I hear you man. It's not for everyone
When I was younger I thought that I would give my child the happiness that I could never have, when I got older I realized that may only happen by not bringing them into this world.
❤ It can be a confusing realization to swallow. There's no right answer in general and is a very personal choice. But I very much agree personally
at least for you, you had the notion that you will one day want to have kids. I Am coming from a notion of I knew I'll not want kids when I was still a kid myself.
@@MauriceWagura I can definitely relate to you. I have always known that I don’t want to have any children since I was child as well. I don’t want to raise a child at all. It’s not for me. ❌
I've always been indifferent about having kids... I think I'm so selfish with my time and money, I couldn't imagine sharing it with someone else (that needs my time and money to survive... I wouldn't have any choice in the matter). I think as a male, it's much easier for you to speak about it and change your mind later. But for women, it can become a permanent decision even if we change our mind. Additionally, we get judged so much for not having kids...
The selfishness is real. I value quiet and alone times so much and I hear the stories from parents...Its rare to come by as a parent.
You're right though, Its wayyyy morr acceptable to be a childless Male. That's why those reddit subreddits like "ChildFree" and "RegretfulParents" are important for people. To get support and see their are other people who also don't fit the traditional mold!
Same!! Single male, no kids!!!
I actually think having kids is a very selfish thing to do. There are far too many people on this planet, we’re destroying the place. It’s selfless to abstain from reproducing, help take the pressure off the earth. Look up VHEMt.
It's easier for women as they get older look at larsa pip she allows different men nut in her while still carrying her husband's last name she knows she can't get pregnant at her elderly age so can roam the "streets" unlike men whom even at 90 can slip up and get a girl pregnant
I'm an older child free women and I have to admit life is pretty easy without kids. Having kids is a gamble. What if you have a physically or mentally disabled child that YOU have to take care of for your entire your life.........that to me is a prison sentence. I knew of several women who spent their entire lives taking care of a disabled child.
You don't need a reason. The fact that you don't want kids is reason enough to not bring a kid into the world. You don't want to have an unwanted kid.
I am 26 and do not want children. I love being a mental health counselor for children though. I get to help out the kids that are already here on this Earth. This fulfills my maternal instincts just fine. Then I get to go home to an adorable fur baby 🐕 I could not be any more happier with those decisions :)
Sounds like you're well in touch with what you want. Awesome to hear :)
Good for you 👏🏾
Having kids is expensive and ruins your body mind and spirit. PERIODT!
💯💯
Ur body lmao excuses
@@johanruiz3422 your right.... Having kids post Pandemic is Emotional suicide AND will ruin you financially unless you have 250K set aside already.
Not wanting them is answer enough. It's not for everybody.
Agreed!
Thank you for being so open and honest. I’m struggling with infertility and I’m searching deep down about my true motivation for motherhood. A lot of it, I fear, stems from family and societal expectation. More people need to talk about the other side! We are valid and our opinions matter too. Xo
Thanks for sharing. Mindfulness around our "whys" for our beliefs and desires are critical to navigating our life intentionally. I hope if you do decide you want children for you, that you're able to have your desires met Jessica! All the best
@@AdrianLoganLive Thank you so much, Adrian! ❤️
I had a co-worker, a strong healthy man only a year older (40 yrs) than me. He loved his kids but was always exhausted at work and all he wanted to do was sleep…I feel like being born in the mid 80’s was one of the last generations where it felt 100% natural for people to have kids
I agree. In fact, I believe the boomers generation represented the peak of human civilization. It was absolutely unsustainable, and continues to be, and we're going to start going backwards. Globalization is going to suffer a significant pull back, as will birth rate and the industrial age. But that's a topic for another day
I'm 44 and don't have children or a wife. I am a deep introvert, used to party a lot when I was young, had my fair share of relationships, I guess I'm retired from it all.
You have no desire for a life partner either anymore?
@@AdrianLoganLive I do, I will start trying again, get myself out there
Definitely should. It makes a difference when you have the right person you vibe with. You have lots of life left to live and celebrate with someone!
@@AdrianLoganLive perhaps
wherein east Africa are you, bro. am also retired like you put it,
Most parents do not reflect about the fact that having children is a serious decision that will impact their lives forever, for better or for worse, depending on how the child develops as a person within the family and in society. I believe that people who need freedom of choice, tranquility and time for themselves should rethink whether or not it’s really the right choice for them.
Absolutely. Those 3 needs you mention really are strong considerations to make. I love my solitude haha
End of day, you need to be a multimillionar to have kids. I agree!
Haha maybe I'd consider it more if I was
You do.
You ain’t lying…freaking expensive. My mom keeps saying at least you’ll get the child tax credit which helps. I’m like no, that money will not last me all year plus my income I can’t even afford myself.
I agree with every thing you said, I'm turning 30 in a couple of months. I decided when i was 12-13 that i do not want kids.
As a person who had to flee his country, experiencing wars, crimes, pandemics, and How this world is running, i'm now totally 100% positive that having kids and throw them in this life regardless of your financial, health situation is considered at least from my point of view kind of a crime.
I hear you man. Granted, I'm aware that if everyone had my view then the human race would come to an end because I imagine things will get worse before they get better. But it's up to everyone to make their own decision. I just can't stomach it personally. Not with the way things are going
I already told my parents when I was 9 years old that I won't be having children. Eight years later I still hold on to what I had said
haha the real test will be once you have a life partner and come to an understanding with them. If by then you still hold that belief then you're probably a child free lifer
I completely agree with the entire video. People look at me weird when I say that having a kid is a selfish act. Not in a condescending way but when you ask people why they want kids, it starts with them. “I want...” I like my freedom and if you have nieces and nephews, it’s like being a second mom or dad but you can give them back when you want lol. We need more adults vocalizing why they don’t want kids or that they don’t like kids, it’s actually more normal than people like to admit. I’m good with getting married and enjoying my partner then the road ends for me. Good video 🙏🏽
(Thought I responded but seems my comment disappeared)
Yes totally agree with you. I envision being able to take my nieces and nephews on cool experiences, give them some awesome memories, knowing I can hand them back at the end of the weekend and be on my way. Like the cool uncle that comes back from a backpacking trip in Vietnam with cool gifts and stories and videos living a life true to me!
I believe some people feel having children is their only way to fulfillment. But there's so much options in the world today, you can find fulfillment in so many other ways if children arent an interest.
Thanks for sharing!
It’s the selfish part that did it for me.
Most people DO start with “I WANT” when asked why do you want to have a child. Well said.....well said young lady 💯
Been saying its selfish act because your pulling Souls back down here into the matrix. Your not blessing your seeds with LIFE but BONDAGE !!!! Peace & love
When my best friend and I met she didn't want kids and I did. We were in our mid 20s. We got in relationships, mine failed and she got married. We are in our early 30s now, she has a 1 year old and I have been in a 3 year relationship, no kids and no desire to have any. I guess when I wanted kids I had a vision of a happy married life. Somehow that all changed through heart break and a new mindset. I got older, I got to know myself more and what I could and couldn't offer to a child. I am definitely one of those people that would want to give my kid everything I didn't have. I have realized that even as an adult with all the money in the world I wouldn't be able to give my children what I didn't have. My friend constantly pesters me about having kids, so much that I lied to her husband this weekend when he asked me if I wanted one. I think it's definitely an idea that can change in ones mind through age and time but it shouldn't be frowned upon to not want children.
When I was finishing high school and college I remember very distinctly my goals. “I want to be married by 23, and have my first child by 26” haha I would fantasize about showing him (I assumed I would have a son) how to sprint and run fast correctly, and play basketball, and strategize and just pass my insights on to him.
But then through life experience and realizing adulthood is not what I expected it to be (topic of my recent video) something changed in my desires. I have all these goals, and ideas and ambitions and none of them leave room for a child.
Like you, I know I would invest so heavily in my child, and that level of commitment is not something I want to try to fit in with my existing vision for my life. There is no longer an urge to procreate. As another commenter said “It ends with me” lol
Thanks for sharing!
Yes, I want kids, because it's a natural urge, but it always feels great to know that my kids are safe where they are now, in nonexistence.
my feeling!! Lets adopt teenagers :)
Absolutely couldn’t agree more, very well said!
I’m 29, and childfree! What did it for me was a psychologically abusive ex whom tried to pressure me into having a kid. She kept telling me her biological clock was running out, and I needed to add worth to my life by raising a family.
I’ll never forget the night I decided to finally have a talk with her about not wanting a child. Before I had a chance to, she “suprised” me with a positive pregnancy test. God that was the most stressful month of my life, lots of sleepless nights. I did my best to make light of the situation, but it was pretty hard.
To condense the story, she called me during my lunch break degrading me, and telling me how worthless of a man I am. I couldn’t figure out what I’d done, but later found out the pregnancy test was a false positive, which pissed her off. Words can’t describe the relief I had. Not only did I find the courage to finally leave that abusive relationship, I also got a second chance at happiness and freedom.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet with her man. Glad to hear you got a second chance. I've had dreams where I found out we were going to have a child and woke up stressed lol
Live your life bro!
Lucky you
That’s terrible!
So there’s men out there who don’t want kids, got it. I need to meet a him. I want love and a marriage but I DO NOT want kids.
There's a lot of us out there. The more woman that let it be known they would like to be child free, the more men with the same desire will speak out. Too bad there's not a child free dating website or something haha
@@AdrianLoganLive I didn’t know that. I thought most men wanted children. I’m happy to hear that. A dating app like that would be soooo cool!
@@rasheedaogburn123 Lol it's really the opposite. Men value and keep their money well.
Why the marriage why not just a relationship without a government certificate .
@@footballremix.8084 because I want the same last name as my partner and the benefits that comes with it. You’re basically saying marriage only makes sense if a child is involved and that’s silly.
I wouldn't have done it if I had to repeat my life again! This is OVERWHELMING!
❤ Thanks again for your honesty
Are you okay? Do you need help?
@@songsthatarecatchy hanging in there, thank you for asking!
@@GodIsWithUs4LIFE glad to hear it!
Were your parents thought the same?
Im 41 i hate it when "friends and family tell me how much cash they spend on their kids, compared to my childless life style. Where i spend less or alot on myself "and save so much money"..
Yes, sometimes people with children act as of being child free is a privilege that wasn't available to them or something lol
People should ask questions before having children.
Did you take the time to reflect on how your parents raised you?
Did you think about your short term and long-term goals?
Where do children fit into the life that YOU want for YOU?
Are children something that you want to raise?
Do you understand that children are to be raised to be independent adults and live their own lives?
Do you know that children are NOT obligated to care for their elderly parents?
Do you have trauma and family curses that you need to break?
The list goes on, but one thing you would regret was never taking control of your own destiny.
This is one of the best, most level headed explanation videos on being childfree that I have seen.
This is one of the best, most meaningful comments I could have recieved. I appreciate it Mike. Thank you
The thought of being a father scares me. I just can’t see myself taking up that much responsibility. I already enjoy my own space and having kids would be a nightmare for my introverted personality. Plus having kids is expensive and life is already expensive as it is.
Yes its a different world now. In the past people could have 8 kids without being well off because aside from shelter, clothing and food everything else they need could be taught whether trades or running a family business etc. It was just a time investment.
Now every child to go to school is ridiculously expensive relative to what it used to cost, so it takes serious planning. Money is more important now than ever it seems. Parenthood is a big decision
@@AdrianLoganLive facts bro
i feel like having kids has always been selfish, but it's now more selfish than ever.
What would the world look like if only those who really want children had children? That was a very good question.
Thanks. Interesting to imagine and reflect on
It would of been amazing 👏 I can only imagine because if it was up to me I'll make it that UNLESS you are married for 3 years+ and can prove the income is high for both parties then you'll be allowed to have kids.
I had a bad childhood. I live everyday day by day. Having a kid seems a million years from me
Sorry to hear that. A lot of our present moment is dictated by circumstances out of our control from our past. All you can do is focus on what you have control over. Having a child is certainly one of those things. Hope life becomes brighter and happier for you Samantha!
Some of us just don't want them.
Yep. It can be as simple as that
I feel you man. I feel the exact same way. As a woman who is 29, the societal pressure is there. I just broke up with a man with 2 children. We dated for just over a year and I really realized that path is not for me. After some healing I'd like to find a man who also does not want children. Dual income no kids. Traveling, outdoor adventures on weekends, lots of social time with friends, sleeping in on weekends, sounds great to me
Sounds great to me too! On the bright side, you got to have a trial run of the parenting life without having to commit to it and are more certain in your desire to be childfree.
As I type this my partner and I are on a spur of the moment weekend dinner date. No need to schedule or plan. Just walk out the door and take as much time as needed. Child free life is great!
Honestly, it’s comments like these that are keeping me from going insane. I’m in the most stable, loving relationship I’ve ever been in, and after three years, the pressure to be a father has reached critical mass. The idea of having to walk away from someone I love dearly, and “starting over” again in my mid 30’s is breaking my heart. It’s reassuring to see that there are women sticking up for their own beliefs, and that there’s still a “market” for men in my position. Thank you.
I can tell you now as a 50 something year old guy, I still don’t regret deciding to be child free. And I don’t believe that decision will ever change.
It's good to hear that. Although I would never have children strictly due to fear I will regret it when I'm older. There's always a part of me that wonders if I will suddenly change my mind after it's too late. So it's reassuring to hear age didn't change that for you and you're happy!
I'll be 39 years old in August and it took me a long time to realize that they only reason I ever "wanted" kids was because my mother told me that's what I was supposed to do... get married to a man in the same religion she raised me in and have his children. She groomed me from a very young age to be able to take care of a home (cooking, cleaning, etc.) and she also said that I had to go to college, which I did. I have a BA and an MA. I am so disgusted by how manipulative our mothers can be. Especially when they themselves did not have a healthy marriage or know how to parent. I was raised in a two parent household but I believe that I likely would have been better off had my parents split instead. I do not want children for several reasons; one being that I have to break the generational curses that are attached to my family. My nieces and nephews are enough for me and I'd do anything for them but I have no desire to ever be pregnant, go through the changes that a baby puts your body through, then have a lifelong commitment to another human that will forever depend on you even when they are grown. I've been able to travel, live abroad, sleep in, watch whatever I want, have lazy days, spend my disposable income... all freely without having to stress about someone else depending on me for 100% of their needs and wants. This doesn't even include the emotional support that a child constantly needs. Anyway, I'm proud to know who I am and to be childfree for life. I hope I find a man to partner with who is also childfree and wants to be childfree for life with me. Thank you for this video. Peace and Blessings, everyone 💖.
Often our parents are just victims of the same generational and social pressures and ideologies that they are trying to put on us. It takes a strong mind to break the mold and walk a path distinctly yours. Happy to see you've been able to do that. Thanks for sharing!
@@venusbonjour9303 They'll make it in what way? If humanity goes down the toilet, then so will they.
@@venusbonjour9303 Okay, but how will they "make it"? Because eventually they would die off and that would be that, unless they had children. What do you mean by making it?
@@AdrianLoganLiveWell said 👏🏻. As a Chinese American I was lucky to married an American man who had himself fixed before we even met. I don’t ever want to respond for a human being. Gosh, I hate these demanding kids people have. Everyday I’m grateful for not having to deal with raising my own kids. I love my money and freedom. I don’t like my parent’s horrible life, they are being brainwashed.
I’m not intetested in kids either. Getting into a decent paying job and putting a safe, secure roof over my head is more important to me at the moment. I still live at home, so I am in no position to even think of having a kid at all. Also I haven’t gotten a chance to live my own life yet, sucks 😡. I am also worried about the earths population and environment impact. Finally I don’t deal well with stress to well and often get anxious about things.
If you ask me, you sound like you have your priorities in great order :)
No children = more time to travel the world and enjoy life
I feel that. I'm doing a backpacking trip through Peru next month! Gimme all the travels!
I used to want kids and in a perfect world I’d still want them. But the reality of the world is it’s sadistic and cruel out here, I wouldn’t want to bring someone into this world and force them to deal with all of the negative possibilities in life
The world has never been this prosperous and healthy
4:22 I'm about like you.. I can't see myself having a child.. The reasons I don't want a child is.... 1. I'm a peaceful person I'm a person that love quietness. 2. Having Children Cost when you have a child you have to make sure that child have what he/she needs food/shoes/clothes and as they get older they going to want more.. 3. You Wouldn't Be Able To Do What You Used To Do Leisure Time/On Your Own Time.. You can do it but it wouldn't be a everyday thing and it won't be like it was before. 3. Babies Can Throw You Off Sometimes babies are cute and they are amazing but they can be pretty annoying also and you have to know what your baby want. 4. I Love To Work And Work On Things you may not work like you used to when you have a baby the baby is not going to want you to work.. The baby is going to want his momma and dad around. Babies enjoy they mothers and fathers scents and they know who they mom and dad is.👍
You said it exactly! I value my quiet time and time alone so much. The introvert in me almost fears having a child being dependant on me all the time.
Also, I have financial and adventure risks I take and want to take more of, and if I had a child I would probably reconsider doing that knowing I have a life depending on me. So many reasons to consider. I think we're on the same page!
My GF wants kids someday and I'm not sure if we will stay together in the future because I don't.
That's always a very tough situation. Especially if you didn't have the realization you want to be child free when you both met. Hardest part is that there really is no middle ground to compromise at like most other challenges in relationships.
I know I don't want kids because the thought of having my nephew (Who I like and enjoy seeing, Hes like 7) come live with me for a month sends me mind into a bad place. Like I love seeing him. But I wouldn't want to be responsible for him and have to live with him for a month.
So having a child is many times worse and harder than having my nephew live with me for a month lol
When it comes to whether or not to have children, my philosophy is "If it isn't a hell yes, then it's a hell no"
I guarantee you that the big changes you will experience will more than 50% put your relationship in jeopardy. The changes are huge. I'm struggling with my relationship after 3 children and many times want to leave the hell I am in. Covid lock down has made it a lot worse
I will help you leave her and don't waste your and her time
It's best if you leave eventually. If you don't want to be a parent but you end up being for her, you will sincerely regret it. I've seen it happen
As a female, I don't want a bf....gf or children. I rather be alone
Having children is bringing a non-consenting soul into this insane world. I agree with and respect your decision. I'm childfree for life by choice also.
I'm really thankful to see parents being open about regretting having children. Instead of saying it's great. I'm sure for some it is, but they're usually not really honest on how they truly feel.
Totally. It will be helpful to a lot of people and appreciated to get both perspectives
@@AdrianLoganLive having friends who are single mothers. And me being child free. Is definitely a constant reminder that I made the best decision for my life.
It’s overrated. I feel guilty saying it because I love my children but it’s not like these family movies make it seem. Alot of taking care of them is about image and competition.
i'm about to break up with the love of my life, it's been months since i forced myself about thinking that i might want a child.
but i never wanted.
and i can't force myself, neither force her.
i always felt so different, in a bad way. because society makes you feel like this is normal and the only correct option.
i'm about to break my heart, but i won't fail my desires, my freedom.
Thanks for this video I felt a bit better about myself!
Sorry to hear you've come to that crossroad and are forced to make a tough decision either way you choose. But it sounds like you're making the responsible decision that will be the best for everyone in the long term, as painful as it will be.
Glad to hear my video has helped even a little bit with your situation. All the best going forward!
Respect man, I'm scared I'll have to go through this as well with my Girlfriend
Don’t lose hope. There are child free women out there.. 🤗 There’s somebody for everybody. I think I am fortunate to have a boyfriend that is also child free. It’s also ok to be single. Some people choose to be and are happy 🤷🏻♀️❤️❤️❤️
@@willah1779 thanks a lot
@@milan4545 awh, all the best, this isn't easy.
My manager has one kid and he told me don't have kids.
Plus I have a coworker who's is 65 and has a son with down syndrome. That is another big factor of not wanting kids because you have to take care of them completely for life.
The responsibility is tremendous even when everything goes as planned. That becomes 10x more challenging when the child is not typical. kudos to those willing to take it on, but I can say I can't and won't.
I feel like having a child is like a subset of a larger set of finding fulfillment in life. I believe people mainly have kids for few reason
1.To maintain their legacy and to show that you exist because they existed at some point in time
2.People consider children as a source of different kind of happiness which they never experienced before
3. Life is pretty boring at times, in old age and in mid-life too...that's why old age people want grandchildren so they pressurize their children to have them....that's how things work in India.
4. To find fulfillment or to expect that your child will do something in his life which can give you fulfillment.
The solutions:-
1. Legacy is formed not by reproduction....even you may not know what was your grandfather's father's name, so with reproduction legacy is lost after 1/2 generation....legacy is always formed by the work you do on this planet...if you did something remarkably great instead of making babies then your legacy is maintained forever.
2. Happiness is something whose source lies inside you...it can't be outsourced...yes external factors are responsible but till a limited extend ....other than that you are the one responsible for you well being and happiness....children are definitely not the source, it's you who is the source.
3 & 4. Yes, Life is pretty boring, but I believe if you're working for a cause greater than yourself and are dedicated your life for others/for a greater cause, instead of limiting yourself and devoting your life towards raising a life, then that life would be full of contentment, happiness, and satisfaction. And when you dedicate your life for a greater cause then you won't face the feeling of being bored with life (since you will a lot to do not for yourself but for others, you will have a responsibility) or not being fullfilled.
Very well put Sakshi! I completely agree with your points
That's a true about Indian perspective. ❤️
@@Sachchidanand265 do you believe same?
Ps - I'm a Indian 🇮🇳
@@sakshigupta2315 I do believe the same and I am also an indian.🇮🇳
When he said I’m not overly optimistic about the next 50 years of life..... THATS SO TRUE studies show that the bees will be fully extinct by 2050. So.. YUP
Cecilia, I just watched the documentary "Seaspiracy" on Netflix last night...my lack of optimism with humanity has intensified. It was a great doc though, and highly recommend it!
I will remain childless. This is why I consider people who choose to step-parent and adopt to be the very best of humanity.
💯💯
There's so many reasons I don't want kids but it never gets easier explaining why. I wish people would just stop asking.
I get called selfish that I don't want kids
but I do what makes me happy and not care what other people think.
That's the way to be. When it comes to decisions that have no impact on anyone else it really doesn't matter what others want for/from you. Do you man
Good way to view it man. And who cares what they say. What can they do to you? Nothing
I'm a guy, 26 and single and thankful to have no kids. My main reason for not wanting kids at this point in my life is entirely based on costs, free time, and my hobbies. That and the obvious fact I'm single, just simply keeps the idea out of my life right now. But even if I was dating someone, I feel that I would be able to continue my hobbies, have someone to share my free time with for traveling and meeting new people, and I would still be able to keep the idea of kids off my mind. The thought of someone I brought into this world could have me as their parent, upsets me. Because I believe I couldn't be the best parent I would want to be. It has not interested me for YEARS to ever have a child, while some people go years waiting for that part of their life with excitement. I don't have that, that passion for it. Probably because I have seen nearly a decade since Highschool, of no relationships, and how amazingly free I feel. For a while I have thought about this, and how miserable I might of been had I had a child, and not achieving my personal goals in life.
So it's no surprise I think of it as an insult when someone tells me "you'll see someday, you say that now, but you'll have kids." It's like they want me to join their cult of happy-lives because they think I'm lonely and therefore sad, yet I'm only mad because just verbally assaulted my perfectly happy lifestyle by saying "I didn't do that so you need to change to join us parents, because we are "alone" in our struggles. I don't like how happy you are."
Am I alone on this? Because I could go on 😂
That last paragraph lol Yes some parents love to complain and talk about how challenging they have it, while simultaneously wanting to convince childfree people to join in. I do think that some, but not all parents actually resent child free people because they are envious of the life they once had with free time and options
I'm 21 and I don't want kids, I just generally feel uncomfortable around them and honestly because I don't think I'd be any good at being a parent. Didn't have the best example of what a Dad should be growing up so it kinda seeded the doubt and uncertainty and I don't think there's much point in committing to something this drastic if you aren't sure you even want it.
I'd rather be the fun uncle who is usually off traveling the world and living life that shows up once in a while to takes my nieces and nephews on fun trips and spoil them rotten before sending them back to their parents 😂
And also I think most people need to learn the difference of simply not wanting children and just straight up hating them.
Thanks for dropping that Alex. I hear you. My dad wasn't in the picture at all, and my mom did the best with what she could but had to work a lot so we never had much of a relationship despite living together. I appreciate what she did do though. I'm sure psychologically my situation growing up plays some role in not wanting children too.
Glad you're thinking about this stuff now and not waiting until it's too late to realize what you want. All the best going forward!
I dont even want to be in a relationship with anyone, and never have. Its too much work and too much risk.
Having a child is selfish act. Hell even being human is inherently a selfish act within itself. Majority of parents have been putting their political or religious/personal beliefs before their kids for centuries but were selfish because we don’t want kids to abuse like that. Ridiculous at best🙄
So living is selfish
Thank you for being a voice for men who want to be childfree, because when I watch women talking about wanting to be childfree, I can relate and I don't feel so crazy :)
I'm frustrated over the fact that people don't take us seriously when we say we don't want children. At work and at home (and at family gatherings when *those* used to be a thing...) I'm treated differently. Why is it socially acceptable to bring up such a private topic? What about people who are trying to conceive? I'm normally a shy person, but when people ask me "when are you and your man having kids?" I'm not afraid to shut them down. Not because I'm offended, but because they need to realize it's inappropriate to bring up such a sensitive subject! I'm not bothered by the questions because people are naturally curious. I'm bothered by the belittling that follows the questions.
Thank you for reading my TedText.
Haha Yes exactly. Go ahead and ask if I plan on having children or when I am. It's natural, but for people to believe they can convince you or press you about it expecting you to have to justify your position as if you're on trial is overstepping. Good on you for shutting that shit down
Excellent! I'm a metaphysical artist and I love using my life to share my ideas with the world. Like everything, having children is a choice. My spouse and I have chosen not to have children (married 12 years), and we're extremely happy. We have the time, resources, and freedom to learn about consciousness and human existence on our own terms. I'm a soul/consciousness/identity, and I have rights! Don't ever let anyone force you to do things you don't want to do.
I resonate with that. Me and my partner are on a similar wave. Thanks for sharing!
@@AdrianLoganLive Thanks so much!
Finally someone whom I shares my sentiments 🥺 I literally just bumped into this video after having this conversation with a friend of mine. For me having kids makes no sense.
haha UA-cam finds a way of doing that. Showing you stuff that's already on your mind. Happy you resonated with it. Thank you
Finally someone who feels like me. It felt like u were literally taking the words right out of my mouth
Happy to hear you resonated with it so much!
I’m so glad I clicked on this video. You put how I feel into words. Especially the first part, “I don’t know if I would recommend this conscious experience.” People think I’m crazy when I say things like that. It’s really comforting to hear someone else say it too.
Right. I think people find it odd to hear because many never think for themselves or have a truly original thought. Like a thought that wasn't simply reflecting on something that happened or just regurgitating it their mind something they heard from someone else.
Thinking for yourself is a unique trait. I think anyone that does would understand why some would be unsure if this experience is something they want to introduce to a non existant life. Seems like it should be a normal consideration.
Makes you wonder what thoughts people consider when deciding if or when they want a child.
I knew at 15 that I didn't ever want to be a parent. I told adults and they all said I'd change my mind when I met the "right girl". I reminded them that I could only choose to date girls who also don't want kids. At 33 I met that girl. That was 20 years ago, and we have only grown more convinced over time that we made the right choice. Being child free was one of the best decisions we ever made. I wish more young people knew it was a perfectly acceptable life decision to make. My life has unquestionably been better because I made it.
“I wouldn’t recommend life” me neither bro 😎 I didn’t ask to be put on this planet, and I was not created through love I was an accident and no one asked me if I wanted to play this game. I’m so happy that I live where I want, have the job I want, not really worry about money- and have been able to start LOVING and enjoying my life in my 20’s
Happy to hear you're enjoying the child free life Chloe. Really allows time to act on your passions and hobbies and make the most out of life!