I totally understand how this question is invasive and can be disrespectful, but as a young trans person (FTM) I am curious as to what options there are, and how people with similar (though not the same) expiernces and self-image deal with dysphoria during sex. It's something I worry about for future relationships, and would like to undertake the different approaches fellow FTM people take.
JuliaLeigh I am not trans, just extremely curious is there any way to publicly share the information? I know it's wierd but I am kinda fascinated by the whole process and am trying to understand.
the thing is, if he titled the video like that, people might have been expecting an answer to that when they clicked on the link. i'm not frustrated by your answer, but lots of people get frustrated when they look up something in youtube and end up feeling cheated by a title, which was my case.
It is a video about addressing that question though, so it's accurate. I clicked here because I was nosy (you too?), and funnily enough he directs his answer at precisely nosy people like us. We wanted an answer to 'Hey Jamie... how'd you get it on?' and this is the answer :) Plus, it's only 2 mins 15. I don't know about you, but my time ain't so precious that I'm that bothered *shrug*
Well, I can definitely agree with that. It does seem now that many videos I click on, I have to look at the title and try to judge how realistic it actually is. It somehow annoys me more when the youtuber draws attention to it, outright saying 'Sorry I baited you, haha! Anyway, on with the video..'.
This. I'm a Christian pre-everything trans man, and Jamie is literally the closest thing I can think of when I think of saints in real life. He just has that grace and poise to him even when he's being a bit sarcastic.
I don't think it's fair that people think they have a right to know the answer...this video was giving that message, and was my actual answer to being asked this question, hence why there is a question mark in the title.
Jammidodger you are right. However, many of us thought that by clicking on your video we would get an answer to the question that is in the title. Therefore the title is quite misleading IMO. People (including me) are just curious to know how transgender people have sex. In the future you may think of wording the title in a way that mirrors the actual content of the video. Just my opinion.
I appreciate your opinion, but I stand by the title, I deliberately phrased it as a question and not a statement as it is about the question. It may initially seem misleading, but in reality it is not if you understand the message of the video and come away realising that it's not necessary to know unless you are in a relationship with a trans person, in which case you should ask them. I hope this makes sense, but I respect if your opinion on the video differs from mine, nothing wrong with that.
Jammidodger "it may initially seem misleading"..I appreciate that you agree that the title is indeed misleading. Most people clicked on the video to get an answer to the question. I understand your point that you made the video about the question but it's logical to think that a question is followed by an answer e.g. if you ask something to someone you don't rephrase the question and discuss the question but rather you give an answer. We can agree to disagree.
I mean we all know for a fact how "sex" for homosaxuals and hetrosexuals works, i mean the intercourse of a penis or dildo and a vagina or butthole. But transgender?? do you get an operation that makes a penis out of the vagina or how does it work plz Answer otherwise have i just seen this vid for no reason at all :/ Btw you are a interesting person and i respect that you wont tell us how YOU have sex but how the sex thing work for other transgender persons that you have talked with. Or haven't you?
Doesn't matter why people are interested, the fact is that people are. Why are people interested in anything people do, really? Why do people like following people's vlogs or whatnot? Curiosity about others (or about anything, really) is not a bad thing. Most of the time it's because people like that particular person. Being interested in what a person just shows that you like them and value their opinion. People's sexual behavior is just another part of what a person does, and people shouldn't be ashamed of being interested in what someone does in their private life. If someone doesn't want to answer then fine, but merely being interested and asking is perfectly fine.
Well put Jamie. If people came up to me and asked me how / if I had sex I wouldn't go into the details and I don't see why you should just because you're trans.
If I ask, its because we want to udnerstand and learn, then you wonder why so many people reject gay people if you dont want to teach others about being gay rather than acting like a new species
Yeah, I get this question sometimes because I have pictures of a character, due to autism, that is q romantic and sexual relationship. And some people ask how that works having s*x with him.
I wish more trans men would answer this question from their own personal experience instead of avoiding it. I'm a heterosexual woman. Of course I want to know how I would would be able to do it with a trans guy if we got into a relationship. But it just feels like transmen avoid it which is really disappointing for me. I'm more tempted to stick to what I know because there is not one trans man that will give me their own experiences. I don't need the general trans man experience. I want to hear individual experiences. Otherwise it is hard to feel "turned on" by transmen without thinking about how awkward sex would be.
VenusLove I like your post. I second your opinion. And your screen name caught my eye because my screen name in certain apps and games is "VenusLuvTrap". Haha
@@friedrice6369 actually there's more to it than that. Testosterone chsnges the clitoris, elongates it, and that opens up a whole world of other sexual activities. Blow jobs etc. Also there are types of penis prosthetic that fit over the neo phallus, so that with every thrust the stimulation is experienced by both partners. The answer to "how do transmen have sex" is not "the same way as lesbians", thats reductive. Transmen are men, they have male bodies and male genitals, howeber they're configured.
The penetrating part of sex life: Strap-on, sleeves etc. But there's more to it than dick-in-dick-out, isn't it? I mean, pre OP we might lack a little concerning length and width but most of us do have hands and lips. Plus we're kinda familiar with the anatomy. No stupid manly questions like "What is a clitoris?? Can I eat it?" Yeah, you better do!
Jamie, I feel a human need to apologize to you for anyone who is so obtuse as to ask you that question. Your answer, as usual, was brilliant. So many people have disassociated sex from love that they don't even realize how clueless they are. Thank you, Jamie, for being the awesome person you are..............Ray
No, Sara, as an English teacher and counselor, I meant 'obtuse'. The ignorance and insensitivity of the person makes that word appropriate. All the best.......Ray
okimlistening2u how does love relate to sex at all? It can..But it's also not exclusive to it.. just because you don't love someone doesn't mean you can't have sex with them. *why the word lust exists btw I understand the reasoning to the video. and i really do like gis answer. But the title is misleading.. He should of atleast made an accurate video title. . actually ecplauned how some people have sex.. becaise in somes cases, it is qyute diffrent or just not made a video about it since he doesn't want to talk about the subject. ( which is understandable) I'm just saying.. the act of actual sex (literally how people have sex, instances related their trans identities. such as wear a prosthetic. ... is far different from what sexual position, and vices/fetishes they incorporate in their sex act originally.
I have to agree with the OP, it was not informative, it was aversive. Share your experiences so others can learn. You might be 100% correct your experiences aren't directly translatable, but it will still give people something to think about rather than this video which just said "if you had sex before, that's enough for you to understand it."
@@WadeWomersley He just said everyone has sex in a different way, so why do you wanna know how he specifically has sex? He doesn't have to go into detail about it-
I cam clicking on this video cause I don't know how to deal with my own dysphoria during sex and I don't have access to any toys (I'm ftm) so how do you have sex mean more like "how to cope with dysphoria during sex, is it okay to feel nice but also hate that area, ect" not necessarily how YOU have sex. Just what are some of your personal findings when doing to HELP others out. I think many have come across this problem. I can't find answers on the internet and can't talk to anyone about it cause nobody knows. So thanks for nothing, youtube. I don't have a problem with your channel. In fact, I love your videos and am subscribed. I just am upset about this video.
theres some stuff on reddit if you want advice! specifically r/ftm (or maybe even r/mypartneristrans but be careful since a lot of people on there are unknowingly transphobic since they’re still learning)
I get and agree with what you're saying, but why the clickbait. You seem like a really nice guy, and I know this was a while ago so hopefully you've since tried to stay away from the gimmicks, but it's a little unnerving to click on something and have it be something else entirely.
(Disclaimer: don't be dismayed by the length of this comment! I promise it's not a rant! I just like to write a lot.) But see that's totally fine! And I do agree with you, for the record, but perhaps an appropriate title would have been "why it doesn't matter how I have sex" or "sex is a spectrum" (obviously I'm not a UA-camr so you could probably come up with better sounding titles than that, but can you see what I'm trying to say?). This isn't a big deal or anything; I hope I haven't offended you. Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything at all, in hindsight. But yeah as a person who's just now diving into different forms of gender and sexuality, I admit I was curious by your title, and then was left a little disappointed. Again though, I do think what you talked about needed to be said; it's just that the title seemed a bit misleading to me, and probably intentionally so. (You have to admit though, that title did get you 60k+ views than you usually get :P I mean, you deserve more views in general because your videos are good, but I think you probably know it was the title that lured them in, in this particular instance.) Anyway, I hope this makes sense. Again, sorry for the length of this comment and for bothering you, especially on a video that came out months ago.
Hey, I'm not offended and it's totally fine that you commented! Sorry if I came off a little abrupt. I gathered that a lot of people are frustrated with the content of the video because of what they expected from the title haha, but for me, it was the title I felt reflected it best, particularly as it was my personal opinion and answer to it. I understand it is click-baity and that it has drawn in more people than usual, but I honestly didn't do it for the views. Thank you :)
You're such an inspiration! I've had two people very close to me who have been going through the process of transition, and I've seen how it's affected them. It's so hard seeing people that I love going through such a tough time, and I can't imagine how they must feel. Seeing you so happy just puts a smile on my face !!
+Jammidodger I suspect that one of the reasons this awkward question is so prevalent, is that it's just like little kids and other virgins wanting to know how *cis* people "have sex--:" Just wanting an *anatomical*, *biomechanical explanation* at least showing how coitus would differ from that for a cis male, for a trans man with either no bottom surgery, only metoidioplasty, plain phalloplasty, or various forms of functionally-enhanced phalloplasty, and maybe how these would differ depending on the genital structure of the partner involved in a given pairing.
I suppose if someone wanted to pleasure you they might ask you what makes you feel good and what you like to do. Maybe that's why that question is dreadfully inappropriate. The motivations for a stranger asking that question are creepy and disrespectful.
monsterhigh1975 omg you're like 7 please leave 😂 you're not on this phase of life right now child please go watch cartoons and enjoy your childhood before the internet destroys your innocence 😂
+Patrick Hates You Sorry to burst your bubble but a hell of a lot of adults do not know how sex between a straight cis woman and a trans man would go. Myself included. And it seems nobody will explain it. So, I'm left to come to the conclusion that makes sense based on the info I know: sex with a trans man would be more like lesbian sex than straight sex. If that's wrong, it's not my fault since nobody would like to actually explain anything about it.
Thank you for making videos that allow me to indulge my curiosity without having to ask inappropriate nosy questions! It's nice being able to click a video answering a curiosity and knowing nobody's boundaries are being crossed in the process :)
You could do the same thing about anything else. Someone asks you "how do you drink your coffee?" and you could answer "well, I don't know how that would be useful, and it wouldn't be representative of the whole coffee-drinking community, therefore I think it's more important to highlight the fact that everyone drinks coffee in different ways and people's coffee-drinking preferences can change throughout their lives. Some people don't even drink coffee!" Uh.... ok....? No. Just no.
David Enrique *gives approving clap* Great analogy. You've got 3 thumbs up from me. I want to know why someone would go through all the effort of sharing their MTF or FTM experience with THE WORLD but refrain from commenting on one of the most important topics that come with it: sex. Humans are naturally curious. No one wants to go through the transition and not know if they are gonna lose functionality or be limited or lose sensation, etc.
But the question of how Jamie has sex isn't relevant to anyone except someone he's having sex with. You're not entitled to that information which was the point of the video.
Dont. Compare. Trans people. To. Coffee. For fucks sake we are HUMANS and we don't all appreciate being asked super invasive questions about our sex lives by creepy trans chasers or just morbidly curious cis. If you ever have a trans partner and don't know how to go about sex with them, ASK! You should do this with all your partners because everyone, cis or not, has preferences.
Idk, call me ignorant or nosey or whatever. But I watched this video to have finally an answer to a subject I've been wondering about for years. Yes, I am curious. I watch docs all the time, from all around the world, several hours a day, about all the subjects there are. Anywhere from terrorists to religion to cultures, drugs, crime, sex... But for me human sexuality is the most interesting subject from all. I am interested how, with who, why or why not people have sex. I am curious about different philias, and also gender- and sexuality questions. I was expecting to have an answer. I still got none.
I think that's fair. As someone who''s totally down to date trans people (but who's only dated trans women) I'm curious about this subject so I know a little bit ahead of time if it ever occurs. I wouldn't wanna go in totally ignorant. But what he said about everyone being different is totally true. Some people will have had bottom surgery, some will use strap-ons, some will use the equipment they got and nothing else and all of those are fine :)
Yeah I had similar thoughts after watching the video... If someone doesn't want to share information about their sex life, that is absolutely fine, nobody has to. But I do think that personal experiences from people can give you a much deeper understanding than just stating that everyone is different (that much should be obvious but I know it often isn't).
This disappointed me a little bit. I don't know much about trans people and I think everyone (including me) expected an answer explaining how sex works with a trans person. Like how the penis works and if it's fully functional, etc. Perhaps how it feels for both people and whether there are any problems which can occur. I understand your answer and I agree, but I suppose the notion wasn't how sex works in general (which is more or less what you pointed back at) but how sex works for transgenders, specifically those who've already undergone operation.
Don't put "FTM Transgender: How Do I Have Sex?" in the title if you are not going to provide an answer to the specific thing that the title promises to; i.e. how YOU have sex, and why FTM Transgender is relevant to that process.
you people actually expecting him to answer how he personally has sex makes me just shake my head lol, he said it himself that you could ask anyone no matter if their trans or not and still get many different answers... the big question youre all wondering is "whats in his pants" what is nobody's business but his own and his girlfriend's ( probably ) just seeing these people being annoyed he didnt actually answer makes me sad because his actual answer was a very good and valid one
Well, this is a channel that explains all personal business of a trans person, from surgery to periods but suddenly it is incredibly awful that there are people who want to talk about sexual encounters? You got to admit that this question would come up sooner or later.
Joe O'Quinn but why are they dancing around the subject when they dont need to. Religion is based off belief not proof - thats the whole point. Religion aint science, I don't drag my ass to church for some guy in a suit to read a list of facts to me XD hell no
I’ve noticed that you have pointed out about believing in something without any “proof”. Yet science in itself is something that you believe in. Science is something that humanity has created to try to explain the makings of this universe. But, scientists, believe or not, can be wrong. A couple hundred years ago we thought humans would fall off the edge of the earth if they sailed to close. Why? Because that’s what we were told by the smartest scientists back then. Now, we have all of these theories as to how the Earth has been created, which I’m sure will be disproven in the next hundreds of years from now as well. All due to the fact that humans don’t know everything, we may pretend that we do, but we really don’t. I apologize for the paragraph, it just saddens me to know that almost 300 people have agreed to this comment, and are claiming they don’t believe in “rhetorical rumba,” when really that’s all that science really is.
I think is understandable that you wanna keep that private but don't make a video about how you don't answer questions cus ultimately there's ppl that need info about it, maybe they wanna make a desicion about having a surgery soon and they're just wasting their time on this video so if you got nothing to say then just don't.
Hopefully making this video gets people to lay off asking him personal questions he doesn't want to answer publicly. There are tons of informative sex related videos on youtube already and he's not obligated to make those. Try chase ross's channel if you're genuinely interested in informational videos about this.
OMG it’s such a rude and intrusive question to ask anyone! Why do people think it’s ok to ask trans people something they’d never dream of asking a non trans person?
Did you seriously just say that a 2 minute video is 5 minutes long..? Really!? The point of the video is to educate people on why you shouldn't ask the question. How did you not get that?
+KOSMOSandTELOS If that's the case, he really should've written in the title "Why people shouldn't ask how I have sex". He wrote the question in the title, and us as viewers, *I* at least expected an answer. Maybe if he did write "Why people shouldn't ask how I have sex" I wouldn't have clicked on it. You say that the point of the video is to educate people on why you shouldn't ask the question - I do not see that at all in the title. If the purpose of the video *really* was to inform viewers about this, why the misleading title?
+sEa n If he titled it that, then the people who need to be told not to ask the question generally wouldn't have watched it. It's not like it was a poorly thought out title. He did it on purpose so that the people who are always asking the question would get curious, click the video, and then get an explanation on why they shouldn't ask that question. Was it clickbait? Kinda, yeah. But it was clickbait that served more of a purpose than just getting views. The purpose was still to inform viewers. Just not in the way many of them expect. Also if he were going to explain how he had sex, I don't think the title would have been phrased as a question.
the thing is, if he titled the video like that, people might have been looking for an answer to that. i'm not frustrated by your answer, but lots of people get frustrated when they look up something in youtube and end up feeling cheated by a title, which i was.
Exactly, I myself am a transman and if someone were to ask me, I'd say I date men and I do it as a female would because it is easy and convenient and the man I'm dating isn't comfortable with his buns being fondled. What people mean when they ask this question, Jamie, is what do you do? How do you? It isn't a question of a populace or what positions, it is usually a question such as "do you use any apparatus? how do you tell someone about your sexual parts? or are you comfortable with your pubic area sexually in a certain manner?" or other things like this.
Sorry if I was a little brash or crude, I wrote what was on my mind and what I wish I could comment on every transman's youtube video addressing this and pussyfooting around the question that they are choosing to answer in a noncommittal way.
+Alex Creed It's a relatively new phenomena though, I mean, people may not mean to be rude, it's just new to them and they don't quite understand how the mechanics work. Personally, I would just google it, rather than asking a personal question to anyone, trans or non-trans.
Thank you Jammie for this. I needed the laugh. Even though you didn't precisely answer the question, the response is still completely valid. Every Trans has their own set of likes and triggers in intimate situations, so really people just need to learn to communicate with their partner.
I’m gay and I like men obviously, I certainly would never rule out being with ftm trans guys. But I’m just curious how things will work out in the bedroom. Would it be similar to biological men or the same, would it be widely different? Ultimately the connection you have with any guy is crucial, but I’m just curious as to what I should expect below the waist. If anyone has any insight lemme know.
Wow... I would never have guessed that you're trans. Can I congratulate you on how succesful your transition has been?! Good for you man. If that's weird and inappropriate, sorry. Best wishes.
Waste of time with a misleading title. I think he could have approached this more honestly and frankly. Otherwise what is the point in even posting this?
i agree with a lot of people here.... it is silly to use such a title and then actually give no answer at all. and when you say : "if you ask 10 different people you would get 10 different answers"... well, thank you so much, we all know that. but this video is yours and we'd like to listen to your experience. it's you we are watching, it's you we are interested in. and once again, it's you reaching out for viewers. so, sorry, your story is amazingly inspiring and we all loved it. but this videos is just wrong
I respect your opinion. The title was purposefully written as a question (and isn't called: "How I have sex") because it is my answer to the question, and getting my answer across, and the message that this is not something that is okay to ask, is important to me. So I stand by this video and the title, it is disappointing that not everyone gets it, but more people do than don't. Thank you.
and i certainly respect your opinion. i do believe nobody wants to know what positions you do in bed... you may have spoken about how things changed in that matter, what different feelings or perceptions you get without going into useless details. but if i name my video "do you know what i love eat?", then i can not record myself saying "i am not gonna tell you". so, in spite on anything.. but it's not a big deal, believe me... this little video (unlike the others which are very interesting in my opinion) is useless
Hey, seeing a lot of comments here saying that you should've answered the question, I'm just here to say I'm happy that you (and Shaaba in a more recent video) held up your boundaries regardless of the pressure ❤❤
Nailed it Jamie.. There's a lot of philosophy you put into it. Not sure whether everybody will be able to expand the abstract though. But I loved your videos..
I don't see how NOT touching on what is probably the most important question for trans people is helpful. In all my research no one seams to want to answer this question, but I will keep searching for someone who is willing to help.
Just want to point out, that there might be some people that want to know how a trans man has sex because she is interested in a man who happens to be trans and isnt sure what to do or how that will go...it's not nosy, it's because it's territory i know nothing about and want a baseline of knowledge before diving into it from scratch with a person who is trans
Linh Hoang The better question is not asking the question. It depends on the person. If you were to be with a trans person, knowing what they are or aren't confortable doing or what they like is really important but otherwise, knowing how people have sex is none of your business.
Compared to your other videos, how open you are in them across a variety of issues, i feel what you said in this video is a cop out. I kind of get why you don't want to answer such a question but compared to how personal you've been about other aspects of transitioning how you have sex is pretty tame tbh. I do want to say however, as a straight 'manly man' i think you are awesome. The way you have shared your journey, and such a personal and sensitive journey at that, has given many people an insight into something they'd otherwise have very little accurate info on. I think you are inspiring. Keep up the good work :D
Hey, thank you :) Just wanted to help explain my reasoning behind this video a little bit I basically made it because a lot of people were asking me how I had sex, and from a point of curiosity - and a lot of the time it was asked very rudely, and made out as if people deserved an answer just because I put other aspects of my life on line. For me, sex is more personal and private than all the aspects of my transition I have talked about. The message of the video was aimed at people asking out of curiosity, or people who asked using the excuse/believing that an answer would help them be more accepting/understanding of trans people in general - neither of which are true. It was used to try and show that an answer is not necessary, unless you are going to have a sex with a trans person, and even in that situation it's that specific trans person you should be talking to - my answer wouldn't help. If a trans person asks me for advice on being intimate, and dealing with this alongside dysphoria etc. or asks me about whether I've had lower surgery or my plans for lower surgery - I have no problem with giving advice and answers to those individuals, as it helps people. I just wanted to address (in a lighthearted way) the fact that so many people think this is an okay thing to ask someone just because they are trans, and it's often asked in a very blunt way. Sorry that was a little longer than I intended it to be! Thanks for reading :)
I can't believe you took the time to respond to me! Thanks :) Re-reading what i had originally written embarrasses me. I had no idea i was so blunt! It didn't come out right AT ALL. I can only think that being under stress atm (my step dad is very ill in hospital with breathing difficulties) made me not realize how insulting i was being. I am so sorry. I was trying to make the point that i felt that how you have sex is a pretty mundane topic, but that people would be naturally very curious about it due to it being something that (probably) most people do and that due to the dynamics of your relationship they would be interested in comparing your sex life to theirs to see how different or similar it is. Also, saying that i 'kind of' could see why you didn't want to share such details is not right, i absolutely can see why. I'd feel so weird if people were asking me about how i have sex. I guess what i was/am wondering is weather you could understand the curiosity from people on how how you have sex due to you transitioning from female to male and being with a (totally awesome!) hetrosexual female. Does that make sense? Please tell me that comes across better than before! Please accept my apology, i truely did not mean to come across the way i did. I think the way you have documented your transition is absolutely astounding and to be able to openly speak in the detail you do about it, especially your feelings, amazes me. I can barely speak about how i feel on anything let alone something so personal. Watching your videos has blown my mind and you are now genuinely one of my personal heroes.
I understand, I've found myself asking this question to trans people, but you're actually right. Well, I won't anymore! Me as a cis-gendered girl am proud to say that I support trans and other LGTBQ+ rights! Me and my girlfriend love your channel and are very proud of you as well. (Also I'm sorry for asking these questions to the trans people, I didn't realize, I was stupid. Forgive me
Tadpole Do you think Trans people know how cis people have sex? Is that unfair? Are they being incredibly invasive by knowing that? I just don't see what's so offensive about basic questions that anybody who isn't asexual needs to know before getting into a relationship with another person.
Woot! 10,000th like. Lol. Not sure why that made me so happy. 😊 Thank you for saying this. I really wish people would understand that there is not just a few ways of having sex, and everyone is individual. This is an even larger topic once you enter the BDSM world, involve polyamory, body modifications, asexuality, etc.
I'm seeing this vid for the first time in 2019 after having just discovered your channel and watching some of your more recent stuff. It's really fun to see how much more relaxed and confident you've become in front of the camera. Not that I don't like this video too, but you just seem more shy in it than you do now. Anyway, keep up the good work!
It's so nice that you take time to explain these things for people, because some people ask inappropriate questions without realising it could be a sensitive subject.
Hey thanks for the video. I think you've got a very fair point even if it does clash with people's natural nosiness & curiosity. I appreciate you taking the time to make a friendly explanatory video & being kind in the comments. This was a job well done:)
The reason people ask this question is out of ignorance. These are the people who make assumptions about the genitals of transgender people, and view penis-in-vagina sex as "real" sex, usually disregarding manual/oral/anal sex and foreplay as not valid without intercourse. This mindset is very hetero-cis-normative. I'm glad you answered this question the way you did. Your sex life and body is not our business.
Well when someone asks you they're trying to understand you, not expecting you to speak for all trans people/people who have sex. This whole video was just one big BS answer to avoid answering the question haha. I'm thinking either you don't have sex or are embarrassed by how you do/how you have to have sex. Just a guess though.
.jpg The problem with your question is that, assuming HuskersHomeBrew is hetero male, everyone already knows how males typically have sex. What people WANT to know is how a woman who got bottom surgery to become male has sex. That subject is so widely avoided so no one knows. It's like taboo or something. **shrugs**
Exactly - it's treated as taboo whereas "blokes down the pub" would freely discuss how they had sex, where they had sex, if they used a harness, lube, dressed up etc. Just discuss it!
Even as a gay guy I often get asked how I have sex. The question which really pees me off is ”which is the man and which is the woman?”. WTF?!! Nobody’s business what I do in bed and how I do it.
I'm 100% supportive of the trans community but I feel this video title was very misleading. You didn't answer the question. It was blatantly obvious people were asking you how you do it and instead is saying "mind your business" you just dodged the question. Very unfair I think. Title should be changed.
People, do you really find this unswear ok to ask? Jammie you explained it perfectly, thanks for that. I don't understand at all why people think they didn't get the anwear for the title of the video. They get the best unswear!
I get you don't wanna answer. But pretending you are answering it in the video title when you're actually not is just click bait and no one likes click bait.
I haven’t watched this video yet but I have been wondering this forever. People seem to respond as if it’s a stupid question but I’m oblivious of whether or not it is. I’m just curious *shrug* Edit: goddamn it. He answered the same way as everyone else. I’m transgender and haven’t/don’t intend to before bottom surgery but have always wondered if it’s a normal thing, or if they just don’t do it at all, or what. I’m also just curious if there are other options possible, without getting dysphoria because I know it could be an issue in future relationships. If someone knows could you let me know..? (I understand this is kind of a weird and/or taboo question but I just wanna know.)
I understand this is a video from 4 years ago but im actually super curious cause i have an FTM boyfriend and i dont want to make him uncomfy, i want to do it right, im the bottom and i wouldnt want to hurt him with my ..... Aggressive tendencies, I myself am struggling to figure out my own pronouns and gender but thank you 😍😍😍
i think some people might be wondering also because of the physical change of the clitoris for example that gets very sensitive after taking testosterone (not necessarily in a good way but it might actually be uncomfortable to even touch it)
I'm a cisman and I can't grow facial hair like that. Maybe I need testosterone lol. I have trans friends both ways, it is amazing how taking a hormone can radically change the shape of your body. It just goes to show how essentially superficial our preconceptions of gender are.
pherbia thats not correct at all. Although not necessary, one can "fully"transition by getting a biological "sex change" also referred to as bottom surgery
dude I don't think its ever a good thing to say to a trans person as "wow you were once a man" or "wow you were once a woman" like just avoid those phrases all together
You could just say "I'm not comfortable talking about sex, so I won't answer these questions" instead of making a big deal about a sex ed question.. When a straight girl is asked "how would you feel if you found out your crush was a trans male", one of the first thoughts that pops into her mind is about whether or not he will have a penis that can get erect and penetrate like a cis penis.. That's what some of us are here to find out, while some of us are here because we are considering going through the change and wants to know if it's even possible to have certain experiences or not. We don't need to know your preferred sex positions, foreplay, kinks etc. I think the question just comes down to "is there the same options as with cis penis sex", and it's possible to answer with multiple answers.. It's a question about sex education. Not a request for a homemade sex tape. Anatomy, what has what function, what is usually sensitive, what is usually not, what can hurt, what can be unpleasant.. In the cis straight world, with a huge dick you might need a lot of lube and "warm up" the vagina properly before penetration, if someone has a hard time getting erect there are certain ways you can kinda restrict the blood from retreating so it stays hard enough for penetration, or take a pill called viagra, or just wait til he's less nervous because that can affect it too, a clitoris can be so sensitive that direct stimulation is painful, some can take a hammer on it and orgasm.. It's different for everyone yes, even how genitals look. The more you know, the less awkward and possible emotionally (and physically) hurtful situations there will be. There are general things that everyone are usually taught, or able to learn beforehand, and if coming across a cute trans person it's also nice to be prepared and be able to go with the flow when the moment is there, rather than being surprised, not knowing what to expect or do or say etc... Are trans people and those attracted to them not allowed to experience spontaneous sex after a night with a lot of sexual tension, without having the moment ruined by a Q&A beforehand, because the cis person has no idea what they're getting into? I get your point, but it's a bit off than what the question was meant as. If you are not interested in doing sex education, say that instead. It seems a bit unnecessary to preach about how people have sex differently etc. as to why you don't want to answer. It's a bit of a reach imo. We all appreciate that you're otherwise super open about everything and we can come here and learn. Just look at how many are here solely for genuine curiosity and interest in learning. This video was a bit of a "fuck you" to those people I think.
Yeah I agree with you, ppl here are more SexED curious, and not into porn material descriptions. But you are absolutely wrong about he huge penis fantasy, and if there are women with that fantasy they are wrong. Women sexuality has little to do with intercourse, penetration, in fact None or not many girls ever insert some huge something into the vagina when pleasuring themselves. And in fact, it seems that not many, probably no woman can climax, from intercourse penetration stimulation only... mmm I doubt that Jimmi had SexED or the right SexEd as school.... mmm
I have watched a couple of your videos out of interest. You ask questions about which we are all interested and fascinated but to which to give absolutely no answers to alt all except o say your won't be telling anyone in your vids, because it's personal. I couldn't agree more, in which case why are you making any videos with such misleading questions and what are you doing it for? Is this therapy for you, in which case it's pretty self indulgent?
Julian Coulden he made this video to speak to people who go asking these things. It's a general statement to those who want to know, that it is indeed disrespectful and nosy to demand and answer to this question!
I generally like your points in this video although I think a lot of people generally just are confused and have curiosity about how people outside the norm "do it" and I kinda wished you had provided some general answers even if not specific to you
How to have sex: consensually, knowingly, with protection, with someone you care about. That's it.
+
that is context, and not actually answering the question
doesn't work like that with everybody ;) I couldn't give a rat's ass about the men I sleep with lol
+sweetkorshka good luck with the herps...you wont be completely alone :)
Joe O'Quinn
Yes, not caring about someone gives you herpes. Good luck to you in life cause you have no common sense :D
I totally understand how this question is invasive and can be disrespectful, but as a young trans person (FTM) I am curious as to what options there are, and how people with similar (though not the same) expiernces and self-image deal with dysphoria during sex. It's something I worry about for future relationships, and would like to undertake the different approaches fellow FTM people take.
Achilles Pelides legitimate and normal questions. would you be interested in some ftm sexual health resources?
JuliaLeigh Yeah, sure! Thank you :)
JuliaLeigh would you mind also sending me some
Ray Ma watch uppercaseCHASE1, he talks about sex *a lot*
JuliaLeigh I am not trans, just extremely curious is there any way to publicly share the information? I know it's wierd but I am kinda fascinated by the whole process and am trying to understand.
he's such an attractive man!
+Mountain Durr
As a bisexual, I beg to differ.
+Scooter_bro he's a man,mate...
Scooter_bro Damn, why do you care? You don't know him. His life doesn't effect you.
***** no, he is jamie
+Mountain Durrrr he was born in the wrong body
the thing is, if he titled the video like that, people might have been expecting an answer to that when they clicked on the link. i'm not frustrated by your answer, but lots of people get frustrated when they look up something in youtube and end up feeling cheated by a title, which was my case.
wah
It is a video about addressing that question though, so it's accurate. I clicked here because I was nosy (you too?), and funnily enough he directs his answer at precisely nosy people like us. We wanted an answer to 'Hey Jamie... how'd you get it on?' and this is the answer :) Plus, it's only 2 mins 15. I don't know about you, but my time ain't so precious that I'm that bothered *shrug*
i wasn't talking about this video specifically, but in regard to an acquired habit by youtubers for doing so. it's annoying and untrustworthy.
Well, I can definitely agree with that. It does seem now that many videos I click on, I have to look at the title and try to judge how realistic it actually is. It somehow annoys me more when the youtuber draws attention to it, outright saying 'Sorry I baited you, haha! Anyway, on with the video..'.
right
I was expecting 2 minutes of "none of your business, nosey". You have the patience of a saint.
This. I'm a Christian pre-everything trans man, and Jamie is literally the closest thing I can think of when I think of saints in real life. He just has that grace and poise to him even when he's being a bit sarcastic.
@@palapeura375 God bless you and your journey.
@@FelixSanFrancisco thank you
I don't think it's fair to put a title like that and not answer the question.
I don't think it's fair that people think they have a right to know the answer...this video was giving that message, and was my actual answer to being asked this question, hence why there is a question mark in the title.
Jammidodger you are right. However, many of us thought that by clicking on your video we would get an answer to the question that is in the title. Therefore the title is quite misleading IMO.
People (including me) are just curious to know how transgender people have sex. In the future you may think of wording the title in a way that mirrors the actual content of the video. Just my opinion.
I appreciate your opinion, but I stand by the title, I deliberately phrased it as a question and not a statement as it is about the question. It may initially seem misleading, but in reality it is not if you understand the message of the video and come away realising that it's not necessary to know unless you are in a relationship with a trans person, in which case you should ask them. I hope this makes sense, but I respect if your opinion on the video differs from mine, nothing wrong with that.
Jammidodger "it may initially seem misleading"..I appreciate that you agree that the title is indeed misleading. Most people clicked on the video to get an answer to the question. I understand your point that you made the video about the question but it's logical to think that a question is followed by an answer e.g. if you ask something to someone you don't rephrase the question and discuss the question but rather you give an answer. We can agree to disagree.
I mean we all know for a fact how "sex" for homosaxuals and hetrosexuals works, i mean the intercourse of a penis or dildo and a vagina or butthole. But transgender?? do you get an operation that makes a penis out of the vagina or how does it work
plz
Answer otherwise have i just seen this vid for no reason at all :/
Btw you are a interesting person and i respect that you wont tell us how YOU have sex but how the sex thing work for other transgender persons that you have talked with. Or haven't you?
What is the point of these videos if you don´t answer the question??
why are u so interested in that someone does in their private times lol, he literally explained why it's a weird question
principal of answering questions...
Doesn't matter why people are interested, the fact is that people are. Why are people interested in anything people do, really? Why do people like following people's vlogs or whatnot? Curiosity about others (or about anything, really) is not a bad thing.
Most of the time it's because people like that particular person. Being interested in what a person just shows that you like them and value their opinion. People's sexual behavior is just another part of what a person does, and people shouldn't be ashamed of being interested in what someone does in their private life. If someone doesn't want to answer then fine, but merely being interested and asking is perfectly fine.
To get people to understand that he's not going to answer the question, so maybe people will stop asking the same thing over and over again.
holousek8221 Clickbait.
The freaking dinosaur suit 😂😂❤
Well put Jamie.
If people came up to me and asked me how / if I had sex I wouldn't go into the details and I don't see why you should just because you're trans.
Thanks for the support :)
TheNimmish If you're not trans then everybody knows how 'you' (as in cis people) have sex. No need to ask when we're taught it as children.
If I ask, its because we want to udnerstand and learn, then you wonder why so many people reject gay people if you dont want to teach others about being gay rather than acting like a new species
I agree - isn't sexuality - whatever sex you are - private?
Yeah, I get this question sometimes because I have pictures of a character, due to autism, that is q romantic and sexual relationship. And some people ask how that works having s*x with him.
my question is, how do you style your hair because it looks fab
Thank you! I made a video about my hair not so long ago :)
I wish more trans men would answer this question from their own personal experience instead of avoiding it. I'm a heterosexual woman. Of course I want to know how I would would be able to do it with a trans guy if we got into a relationship. But it just feels like transmen avoid it which is really disappointing for me. I'm more tempted to stick to what I know because there is not one trans man that will give me their own experiences. I don't need the general trans man experience. I want to hear individual experiences. Otherwise it is hard to feel "turned on" by transmen without thinking about how awkward sex would be.
VenusLove I like your post. I second your opinion. And your screen name caught my eye because my screen name in certain apps and games is "VenusLuvTrap". Haha
some stp packers can be used for sex or just the same kinda strapons and stuff lesbians use, its not really that hard to imagine
@@friedrice6369 actually there's more to it than that. Testosterone chsnges the clitoris, elongates it, and that opens up a whole world of other sexual activities. Blow jobs etc. Also there are types of penis prosthetic that fit over the neo phallus, so that with every thrust the stimulation is experienced by both partners. The answer to "how do transmen have sex" is not "the same way as lesbians", thats reductive. Transmen are men, they have male bodies and male genitals, howeber they're configured.
The penetrating part of sex life: Strap-on, sleeves etc.
But there's more to it than dick-in-dick-out, isn't it? I mean, pre OP we might lack a little concerning length and width but most of us do have hands and lips. Plus we're kinda familiar with the anatomy. No stupid manly questions like "What is a clitoris?? Can I eat it?" Yeah, you better do!
I suspect it has to do with difficulty or inability to penetrate with their penis, and fear that the thought could discourage women.
Jamie, I feel a human need to apologize to you for anyone who is so obtuse as to ask you that question. Your answer, as usual, was brilliant. So many people have disassociated sex from love that they don't even realize how clueless they are. Thank you, Jamie, for being the awesome person you are..............Ray
++++++
okimlistening2u ur mad dumb
okimlistening2u Obscure not obtuse....
No, Sara, as an English teacher and counselor, I meant 'obtuse'. The ignorance and insensitivity of the person makes that word appropriate. All the best.......Ray
okimlistening2u how does love relate to sex at all? It can..But it's also not exclusive to it.. just because you don't love someone doesn't mean you can't have sex with them. *why the word lust exists
btw I understand the reasoning to the video. and i really do like gis answer. But the title is misleading.. He should of atleast made an accurate video title. . actually ecplauned how some people have sex.. becaise in somes cases, it is qyute diffrent or just not made a video about it since he doesn't want to talk about the subject. ( which is understandable)
I'm just saying.. the act of actual sex (literally how people have sex, instances related their trans identities. such as wear a prosthetic.
... is far different from what sexual position, and vices/fetishes they incorporate in their sex act originally.
I feel cheated by this video because I was genuinely looking for an informative video but you just said "Im not answering the question"
If you realise the point of this video, then it's way more informative than a detailed description of how I specifically have sex would be.
I have to agree with the OP, it was not informative, it was aversive. Share your experiences so others can learn. You might be 100% correct your experiences aren't directly translatable, but it will still give people something to think about rather than this video which just said "if you had sex before, that's enough for you to understand it."
@@Jammidodger no
@@WadeWomersley He just said everyone has sex in a different way, so why do you wanna know how he specifically has sex? He doesn't have to go into detail about it-
I agree but I think what he’s saying is that it’s not different enough for him to feel the need to talk about his sex life
I cam clicking on this video cause I don't know how to deal with my own dysphoria during sex and I don't have access to any toys (I'm ftm) so how do you have sex mean more like "how to cope with dysphoria during sex, is it okay to feel nice but also hate that area, ect" not necessarily how YOU have sex. Just what are some of your personal findings when doing to HELP others out. I think many have come across this problem. I can't find answers on the internet and can't talk to anyone about it cause nobody knows. So thanks for nothing, youtube.
I don't have a problem with your channel. In fact, I love your videos and am subscribed. I just am upset about this video.
@@shru4464 what do you need? You okay?
theres some stuff on reddit if you want advice! specifically r/ftm (or maybe even r/mypartneristrans but be careful since a lot of people on there are unknowingly transphobic since they’re still learning)
I get and agree with what you're saying, but why the clickbait. You seem like a really nice guy, and I know this was a while ago so hopefully you've since tried to stay away from the gimmicks, but it's a little unnerving to click on something and have it be something else entirely.
It's my answer and approach to the specific question which is why I used it in the title.
(Disclaimer: don't be dismayed by the length of this comment! I promise it's not a rant! I just like to write a lot.)
But see that's totally fine! And I do agree with you, for the record, but perhaps an appropriate title would have been "why it doesn't matter how I have sex" or "sex is a spectrum" (obviously I'm not a UA-camr so you could probably come up with better sounding titles than that, but can you see what I'm trying to say?). This isn't a big deal or anything; I hope I haven't offended you. Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything at all, in hindsight. But yeah as a person who's just now diving into different forms of gender and sexuality, I admit I was curious by your title, and then was left a little disappointed. Again though, I do think what you talked about needed to be said; it's just that the title seemed a bit misleading to me, and probably intentionally so.
(You have to admit though, that title did get you 60k+ views than you usually get :P I mean, you deserve more views in general because your videos are good, but I think you probably know it was the title that lured them in, in this particular instance.)
Anyway, I hope this makes sense. Again, sorry for the length of this comment and for bothering you, especially on a video that came out months ago.
Hey, I'm not offended and it's totally fine that you commented! Sorry if I came off a little abrupt.
I gathered that a lot of people are frustrated with the content of the video because of what they expected from the title haha, but for me, it was the title I felt reflected it best, particularly as it was my personal opinion and answer to it. I understand it is click-baity and that it has drawn in more people than usual, but I honestly didn't do it for the views.
Thank you :)
Thanks for understanding! That's a rarity on UA-cam. Also, you've got yourself a new fan! :D
Thank you! :D
Like a dinosaur !😂😂😂😂
SUBSCRIBED !!!😆
I lost it at that part! *snort laughter*
Hilarious dino😂
this should just be a 5 second long video of Jammi saying, "iTs NoNe Of YoUr bUsinEsS"
You're such an inspiration! I've had two people very close to me who have been going through the process of transition, and I've seen how it's affected them. It's so hard seeing people that I love going through such a tough time, and I can't imagine how they must feel. Seeing you so happy just puts a smile on my face !!
+Jammidodger I suspect that one of the reasons this awkward question is so prevalent, is that it's just like little kids and other virgins wanting to know how *cis* people "have sex--:" Just wanting an *anatomical*, *biomechanical explanation* at least showing how coitus would differ from that for a cis male, for a trans man with either no bottom surgery, only metoidioplasty, plain phalloplasty, or various forms of functionally-enhanced phalloplasty, and maybe how these would differ depending on the genital structure of the partner involved in a given pairing.
I suppose if someone wanted to pleasure you they might ask you what makes you feel good and what you like to do. Maybe that's why that question is dreadfully inappropriate. The motivations for a stranger asking that question are creepy and disrespectful.
knew this was a clickbait before I clicked on it. ... I never learn
ok, so youre just a clickbait
hes a clickbait
i hv to agree w you. clickbait. doesnt answer anything.. and not educational at all..
Tavros Nitram hello fellow homestuck
monsterhigh1975 omg you're like 7 please leave 😂 you're not on this phase of life right now child please go watch cartoons and enjoy your childhood before the internet destroys your innocence 😂
+Patrick Hates You Sorry to burst your bubble but a hell of a lot of adults do not know how sex between a straight cis woman and a trans man would go. Myself included. And it seems nobody will explain it. So, I'm left to come to the conclusion that makes sense based on the info I know: sex with a trans man would be more like lesbian sex than straight sex. If that's wrong, it's not my fault since nobody would like to actually explain anything about it.
Thank you for making videos that allow me to indulge my curiosity without having to ask inappropriate nosy questions! It's nice being able to click a video answering a curiosity and knowing nobody's boundaries are being crossed in the process :)
You could do the same thing about anything else. Someone asks you "how do you drink your coffee?" and you could answer "well, I don't know how that would be useful, and it wouldn't be representative of the whole coffee-drinking community, therefore I think it's more important to highlight the fact that everyone drinks coffee in different ways and people's coffee-drinking preferences can change throughout their lives. Some people don't even drink coffee!"
Uh.... ok....? No. Just no.
David Enrique *gives approving clap* Great analogy. You've got 3 thumbs up from me. I want to know why someone would go through all the effort of sharing their MTF or FTM experience with THE WORLD but refrain from commenting on one of the most important topics that come with it: sex. Humans are naturally curious. No one wants to go through the transition and not know if they are gonna lose functionality or be limited or lose sensation, etc.
But the question of how Jamie has sex isn't relevant to anyone except someone he's having sex with. You're not entitled to that information which was the point of the video.
Dont. Compare. Trans people. To. Coffee. For fucks sake we are HUMANS and we don't all appreciate being asked super invasive questions about our sex lives by creepy trans chasers or just morbidly curious cis. If you ever have a trans partner and don't know how to go about sex with them, ASK! You should do this with all your partners because everyone, cis or not, has preferences.
Kaleb Fischbach he shouldnt have to make a video about it then he is wasting peoples time
Good one. 🤣🤣🤣
I LOVE THIS MAN HE EVEN PUT ON A DINOSAUR COSTUMEEEE
Anyone who says this video isn't educational is WRONG. Today I learned you have a dinosaur costume!
Idk, call me ignorant or nosey or whatever. But I watched this video to have finally an answer to a subject I've been wondering about for years.
Yes, I am curious. I watch docs all the time, from all around the world, several hours a day, about all the subjects there are. Anywhere from terrorists to religion to cultures, drugs, crime, sex... But for me human sexuality is the most interesting subject from all. I am interested how, with who, why or why not people have sex. I am curious about different philias, and also gender- and sexuality questions.
I was expecting to have an answer. I still got none.
watch some porn then...?
I think that's fair. As someone who''s totally down to date trans people (but who's only dated trans women) I'm curious about this subject so I know a little bit ahead of time if it ever occurs. I wouldn't wanna go in totally ignorant. But what he said about everyone being different is totally true. Some people will have had bottom surgery, some will use strap-ons, some will use the equipment they got and nothing else and all of those are fine :)
Yeah I had similar thoughts after watching the video... If someone doesn't want to share information about their sex life, that is absolutely fine, nobody has to. But I do think that personal experiences from people can give you a much deeper understanding than just stating that everyone is different (that much should be obvious but I know it often isn't).
sweetkorshka I SPIT OUT MY WATER
Chip So you clicked on this video.. why?
OK but... How do you have sex ?
(just kidding xD)
Tamago pussies pumping
Tamago q
Tamago does he or she has a penis ? Penetration or not ? Ejaculate ?
This disappointed me a little bit. I don't know much about trans people and I think everyone (including me) expected an answer explaining how sex works with a trans person. Like how the penis works and if it's fully functional, etc. Perhaps how it feels for both people and whether there are any problems which can occur.
I understand your answer and I agree, but I suppose the notion wasn't how sex works in general (which is more or less what you pointed back at) but how sex works for transgenders, specifically those who've already undergone operation.
subwayvesubscriber “transgenders” is not a word and it’s offensive to a lot of the trans community.
Don't put "FTM Transgender: How Do I Have Sex?" in the title if you are not going to provide an answer to the specific thing that the title promises to; i.e. how YOU have sex, and why FTM Transgender is relevant to that process.
you people actually expecting him to answer how he personally has sex makes me just shake my head lol, he said it himself that you could ask anyone no matter if their trans or not and still get many different answers... the big question youre all wondering is "whats in his pants" what is nobody's business but his own and his girlfriend's ( probably ) just seeing these people being annoyed he didnt actually answer makes me sad because his actual answer was a very good and valid one
Exactly
Well, this is a channel that explains all personal business of a trans person, from surgery to periods but suddenly it is incredibly awful that there are people who want to talk about sexual encounters? You got to admit that this question would come up sooner or later.
Why ask the question if you won’t answer it?
this reminds me of how religious people dance around the subject of proof, and never end up getting to an answer. rhetorical rumba
Joe O'Quinn Yes, it's very annoying.
Got a bloody problem with, we, religious people? SMFH.
Joe O'Quinn but why are they dancing around the subject when they dont need to. Religion is based off belief not proof - thats the whole point. Religion aint science, I don't drag my ass to church for some guy in a suit to read a list of facts to me XD hell no
Wasted my time
I’ve noticed that you have pointed out about believing in something without any “proof”. Yet science in itself is something that you believe in. Science is something that humanity has created to try to explain the makings of this universe. But, scientists, believe or not, can be wrong. A couple hundred years ago we thought humans would fall off the edge of the earth if they sailed to close. Why? Because that’s what we were told by the smartest scientists back then. Now, we have all of these theories as to how the Earth has been created, which I’m sure will be disproven in the next hundreds of years from now as well. All due to the fact that humans don’t know everything, we may pretend that we do, but we really don’t. I apologize for the paragraph, it just saddens me to know that almost 300 people have agreed to this comment, and are claiming they don’t believe in “rhetorical rumba,” when really that’s all that science really is.
I think is understandable that you wanna keep that private but don't make a video about how you don't answer questions cus ultimately there's ppl that need info about it, maybe they wanna make a desicion about having a surgery soon and they're just wasting their time on this video so if you got nothing to say then just don't.
Hopefully making this video gets people to lay off asking him personal questions he doesn't want to answer publicly. There are tons of informative sex related videos on youtube already and he's not obligated to make those. Try chase ross's channel if you're genuinely interested in informational videos about this.
OMG it’s such a rude and intrusive question to ask anyone! Why do people think it’s ok to ask trans people something they’d never dream of asking a non trans person?
Did you seriously just make a 5 minute video on a question that you did not answer..? Really!? Why'd you even bother!!??? -___-
Did you seriously just say that a 2 minute video is 5 minutes long..? Really!?
The point of the video is to educate people on why you shouldn't ask the question. How did you not get that?
KOSMOSandTELOS The video really was kinda pointless though.
+Starburst C No, it had a point. The point was to explain why you shouldn't ask this question.
+KOSMOSandTELOS If that's the case, he really should've written in the title "Why people shouldn't ask how I have sex". He wrote the question in the title, and us as viewers, *I* at least expected an answer. Maybe if he did write "Why people shouldn't ask how I have sex" I wouldn't have clicked on it. You say that the point of the video is to educate people on why you shouldn't ask the question - I do not see that at all in the title. If the purpose of the video *really* was to inform viewers about this, why the misleading title?
+sEa n If he titled it that, then the people who need to be told not to ask the question generally wouldn't have watched it. It's not like it was a poorly thought out title. He did it on purpose so that the people who are always asking the question would get curious, click the video, and then get an explanation on why they shouldn't ask that question. Was it clickbait? Kinda, yeah. But it was clickbait that served more of a purpose than just getting views. The purpose was still to inform viewers. Just not in the way many of them expect.
Also if he were going to explain how he had sex, I don't think the title would have been phrased as a question.
Why is my IT teacher making this video? Mr Ryan??? What are you doing??
Misleading tag is misleading.
why don't you just answer the question hon
I gave my answer to the question, it just wasn't the answer you were expecting.
Jammidodger sure but it was a politician's answer and i believe people were asking you not the entire human race
the thing is, if he titled the video like that, people might have been looking for an answer to that. i'm not frustrated by your answer, but lots of people get frustrated when they look up something in youtube and end up feeling cheated by a title, which i was.
Exactly, I myself am a transman and if someone were to ask me, I'd say I date men and I do it as a female would because it is easy and convenient and the man I'm dating isn't comfortable with his buns being fondled. What people mean when they ask this question, Jamie, is what do you do? How do you? It isn't a question of a populace or what positions, it is usually a question such as "do you use any apparatus? how do you tell someone about your sexual parts? or are you comfortable with your pubic area sexually in a certain manner?" or other things like this.
Sorry if I was a little brash or crude, I wrote what was on my mind and what I wish I could comment on every transman's youtube video addressing this and pussyfooting around the question that they are choosing to answer in a noncommittal way.
It's such an odd and personal question. No one would ask a cis person that, but suddenly it becomes acceptable when it's a trans person.
+Alex Creed It's a relatively new phenomena though, I mean, people may not mean to be rude, it's just new to them and they don't quite understand how the mechanics work. Personally, I would just google it, rather than asking a personal question to anyone, trans or non-trans.
Alex Creed
Because we all know what normal people do. Trans people have parts that they are not born with, so it does become a fascinating subject
Yeah bkuz its different, trans ops are new to earth so ofc we wanna know
Annabel Grace "normal people." Trans people are normal people , you dumb fuck.
well ppl wonder about shit don’t they? u might aswell just answer lol
Thank you Jammie for this. I needed the laugh. Even though you didn't precisely answer the question, the response is still completely valid. Every Trans has their own set of likes and triggers in intimate situations, so really people just need to learn to communicate with their partner.
The dinosaur bits in this video are so funny I watched it twice! Another epic video, Jamie.
I’m gay and I like men obviously, I certainly would never rule out being with ftm trans guys. But I’m just curious how things will work out in the bedroom. Would it be similar to biological men or the same, would it be widely different? Ultimately the connection you have with any guy is crucial, but I’m just curious as to what I should expect below the waist. If anyone has any insight lemme know.
I still can't get over how proud I am of you!!
Wow... I would never have guessed that you're trans.
Can I congratulate you on how succesful your transition has been?! Good for you man.
If that's weird and inappropriate, sorry.
Best wishes.
Telling a trans person they "pass" is considered rude.
@@kateichacker3145 Literally Everything is considered rude now. I think it was a nice compliment, with nothing mean spirited meant by it.
@@sweety4271984 Well you’re not trans so it’s not up to you to decide what’s considered rude or not
@@bumblebea1384 like I already said, there was nothing mean spirited about the comment, and everything is considered rude these days.
@@sweety4271984 maybe you should research on why it’s rude instead of just disregarding it
You are so funny! The Dino joke had me laughing so hard
Waste of time with a misleading title. I think he could have approached this more honestly and frankly. Otherwise what is the point in even posting this?
Evji 108 he approached it v honestly and frankly tbh
i agree with a lot of people here.... it is silly to use such a title and then actually give no answer at all.
and when you say : "if you ask 10 different people you would get 10 different answers"... well, thank you so much, we all know that.
but this video is yours and we'd like to listen to your experience. it's you we are watching, it's you we are interested in. and once again, it's you reaching out for viewers.
so, sorry, your story is amazingly inspiring and we all loved it. but this videos is just wrong
I respect your opinion. The title was purposefully written as a question (and isn't called: "How I have sex") because it is my answer to the question, and getting my answer across, and the message that this is not something that is okay to ask, is important to me. So I stand by this video and the title, it is disappointing that not everyone gets it, but more people do than don't. Thank you.
and i certainly respect your opinion. i do believe nobody wants to know what positions you do in bed...
you may have spoken about how things changed in that matter, what different feelings or perceptions you get without going into useless details.
but if i name my video "do you know what i love eat?", then i can not record myself saying "i am not gonna tell you".
so, in spite on anything.. but it's not a big deal, believe me... this little video (unlike the others which are very interesting in my opinion) is useless
Roberto AZZALI it's his response lol
Hey, seeing a lot of comments here saying that you should've answered the question, I'm just here to say I'm happy that you (and Shaaba in a more recent video) held up your boundaries regardless of the pressure ❤❤
How to answer a question without actually answering it. Cause then the truth shall break the delusion.
- Normal Trans behaviour
What is a woman Jamie?
A human born with the female gender identity who identifies as such throughout life.
@@rosieg6989 a woman isn’t a identity, it’s a innate physical thing that can’t be changed
something that you didn't touch for the last 12 years
@@sdrrshock5594imagine asking a question just to disagree with the answer. That’s kinda funny. You asked just to argue… that’s wild
So you don’t have intercourse
Nailed it Jamie.. There's a lot of philosophy you put into it. Not sure whether everybody will be able to expand the abstract though. But I loved your videos..
Thank you! :D
I don't see how NOT touching on what is probably the most important question for trans people is helpful. In all my research no one seams to want to answer this question, but I will keep searching for someone who is willing to help.
Just want to point out, that there might be some people that want to know how a trans man has sex because she is interested in a man who happens to be trans and isnt sure what to do or how that will go...it's not nosy, it's because it's territory i know nothing about and want a baseline of knowledge before diving into it from scratch with a person who is trans
You can't find the answer in here.
I guess the better question is "How do male trans people have sex?" just out of curiosity
Linh Hoang The better question is not asking the question. It depends on the person. If you were to be with a trans person, knowing what they are or aren't confortable doing or what they like is really important but otherwise, knowing how people have sex is none of your business.
Answer not in the video. :(
Awesome video! Lol at the dinosaur bit xD
Compared to your other videos, how open you are in them across a variety of issues, i feel what you said in this video is a cop out.
I kind of get why you don't want to answer such a question but compared to how personal you've been about other aspects of transitioning how you have sex is pretty tame tbh.
I do want to say however, as a straight 'manly man' i think you are awesome. The way you have shared your journey, and such a personal and sensitive journey at that, has given many people an insight into something they'd otherwise have very little accurate info on.
I think you are inspiring. Keep up the good work :D
Hey, thank you :)
Just wanted to help explain my reasoning behind this video a little bit
I basically made it because a lot of people were asking me how I had sex, and from a point of curiosity - and a lot of the time it was asked very rudely, and made out as if people deserved an answer just because I put other aspects of my life on line.
For me, sex is more personal and private than all the aspects of my transition I have talked about.
The message of the video was aimed at people asking out of curiosity, or people who asked using the excuse/believing that an answer would help them be more accepting/understanding of trans people in general - neither of which are true. It was used to try and show that an answer is not necessary, unless you are going to have a sex with a trans person, and even in that situation it's that specific trans person you should be talking to - my answer wouldn't help.
If a trans person asks me for advice on being intimate, and dealing with this alongside dysphoria etc. or asks me about whether I've had lower surgery or my plans for lower surgery - I have no problem with giving advice and answers to those individuals, as it helps people.
I just wanted to address (in a lighthearted way) the fact that so many people think this is an okay thing to ask someone just because they are trans, and it's often asked in a very blunt way.
Sorry that was a little longer than I intended it to be! Thanks for reading :)
I can't believe you took the time to respond to me! Thanks :)
Re-reading what i had originally written embarrasses me. I had no idea i was so blunt! It didn't come out right AT ALL.
I can only think that being under stress atm (my step dad is very ill in hospital with breathing difficulties) made me not realize how insulting i was being. I am so sorry.
I was trying to make the point that i felt that how you have sex is a pretty mundane topic, but that people would be naturally very curious about it due to it being something that (probably) most people do and that due to the dynamics of your relationship they would be interested in comparing your sex life to theirs to see how different or similar it is. Also, saying that i 'kind of' could see why you didn't want to share such details is not right, i absolutely can see why. I'd feel so weird if people were asking me about how i have sex.
I guess what i was/am wondering is weather you could understand the curiosity from people on how how you have sex due to you transitioning from female to male and being with a (totally awesome!) hetrosexual female. Does that make sense?
Please tell me that comes across better than before!
Please accept my apology, i truely did not mean to come across the way i did.
I think the way you have documented your transition is absolutely astounding and to be able to openly speak in the detail you do about it, especially your feelings, amazes me. I can barely speak about how i feel on anything let alone something so personal.
Watching your videos has blown my mind and you are now genuinely one of my personal heroes.
I understand, I've found myself asking this question to trans people, but you're actually right. Well, I won't anymore!
Me as a cis-gendered girl am proud to say that I support trans and other LGTBQ+ rights! Me and my girlfriend love your channel and are very proud of you as well.
(Also I'm sorry for asking these questions to the trans people, I didn't realize, I was stupid. Forgive me
Tadpole Do you think Trans people know how cis people have sex? Is that unfair? Are they being incredibly invasive by knowing that? I just don't see what's so offensive about basic questions that anybody who isn't asexual needs to know before getting into a relationship with another person.
Woot! 10,000th like. Lol. Not sure why that made me so happy. 😊
Thank you for saying this. I really wish people would understand that there is not just a few ways of having sex, and everyone is individual. This is an even larger topic once you enter the BDSM world, involve polyamory, body modifications, asexuality, etc.
@Sylvie Olin that all depends on the person. It’s a wide world, and our opinions are few of many on the matter.
" IDK I CAN DINOSAUR!"
Me: sounding like a dying hyena
I'm seeing this vid for the first time in 2019 after having just discovered your channel and watching some of your more recent stuff. It's really fun to see how much more relaxed and confident you've become in front of the camera. Not that I don't like this video too, but you just seem more shy in it than you do now. Anyway, keep up the good work!
Awe, I'm so happy I found your channel!!
hopefully u dont like all these guys u see
It's so nice that you take time to explain these things for people, because some people ask inappropriate questions without realising it could be a sensitive subject.
LOVE the dinosaur sex XDD I LOL'd so hard xD
XDXDXD RAWR XD
+Rap Monster Rawr XD *nuzzles u*
Notice Me Garrus Senpai *shares cookie* rawr means i luv u in dinosaur :33333333
I'm getting fucking cancer.
Leave the guy alone u haters he’s living his life and good for him
I like you shirt! Where did you get it?
I got it from Asos :)
Hey thanks for the video. I think you've got a very fair point even if it does clash with people's natural nosiness & curiosity. I appreciate you taking the time to make a friendly explanatory video & being kind in the comments. This was a job well done:)
Just answer the question. It's not rocket science.
The reason people ask this question is out of ignorance. These are the people who make assumptions about the genitals of transgender people, and view penis-in-vagina sex as "real" sex, usually disregarding manual/oral/anal sex and foreplay as not valid without intercourse. This mindset is very hetero-cis-normative.
I'm glad you answered this question the way you did. Your sex life and body is not our business.
Well when someone asks you they're trying to understand you, not expecting you to speak for all trans people/people who have sex. This whole video was just one big BS answer to avoid answering the question haha. I'm thinking either you don't have sex or are embarrassed by how you do/how you have to have sex. Just a guess though.
HuskersHomeBrew Agreed. 153%.
.jpg The problem with your question is that, assuming HuskersHomeBrew is hetero male, everyone already knows how males typically have sex. What people WANT to know is how a woman who got bottom surgery to become male has sex. That subject is so widely avoided so no one knows. It's like taboo or something. **shrugs**
Exactly - it's treated as taboo whereas "blokes down the pub" would freely discuss how they had sex, where they had sex, if they used a harness, lube, dressed up etc. Just discuss it!
Even as a gay guy I often get asked how I have sex. The question which really pees me off is ”which is the man and which is the woman?”. WTF?!! Nobody’s business what I do in bed and how I do it.
what? why someone would ask you that? In which world do you live? 🧐
Yeah, but we still expect you to tell us how YOU have sex! We know everyone has it differently... click bait..?
If you still expect that and just think this video is click bait, then you missed the message and didn't understand my answer to the question.
Jammidodger To be honest that is quite a personal question, even for general knowledge😂😬
Straight answer, no normal sex
That explained nonthing.
There is so many Karens, transphobic and homophobic people in this comment section it actually makes me ashamed to be a human being.
I'm 100% supportive of the trans community but I feel this video title was very misleading. You didn't answer the question. It was blatantly obvious people were asking you how you do it and instead is saying "mind your business" you just dodged the question. Very unfair I think. Title should be changed.
I love how you answered this very personal question. At the end of the day. It's none of anyone's business:)
I'm showing this to the people who ask me this question
People, do you really find this unswear ok to ask? Jammie you explained it perfectly, thanks for that. I don't understand at all why people think they didn't get the anwear for the title of the video. They get the best unswear!
It’s just nosey 😭😂😭
I love you Jamie-
I get you don't wanna answer. But pretending you are answering it in the video title when you're actually not is just click bait and no one likes click bait.
the art of not answering
I haven’t watched this video yet but I have been wondering this forever. People seem to respond as if it’s a stupid question but I’m oblivious of whether or not it is. I’m just curious *shrug*
Edit: goddamn it. He answered the same way as everyone else. I’m transgender and haven’t/don’t intend to before bottom surgery but have always wondered if it’s a normal thing, or if they just don’t do it at all, or what. I’m also just curious if there are other options possible, without getting dysphoria because I know it could be an issue in future relationships. If someone knows could you let me know..?
(I understand this is kind of a weird and/or taboo question but I just wanna know.)
I understand this is a video from 4 years ago but im actually super curious cause i have an FTM boyfriend and i dont want to make him uncomfy, i want to do it right, im the bottom and i wouldnt want to hurt him with my ..... Aggressive tendencies, I myself am struggling to figure out my own pronouns and gender but thank you 😍😍😍
i think some people might be wondering also because of the physical change of the clitoris for example that gets very sensitive after taking testosterone (not necessarily in a good way but it might actually be uncomfortable to even touch it)
you were once a woman? wow! you look amazing! i have no idea how you got the facial hair, but you look super amazing and just. wow
He takes testosterone
I'm a cisman and I can't grow facial hair like that. Maybe I need testosterone lol. I have trans friends both ways, it is amazing how taking a hormone can radically change the shape of your body. It just goes to show how essentially superficial our preconceptions of gender are.
psammiad yeah it's freaking amazing. Have you ever taken testosterone? You should definetly but some of you want facial hair^^
pherbia thats not correct at all. Although not necessary, one can "fully"transition by getting a biological "sex change" also referred to as bottom surgery
dude I don't think its ever a good thing to say to a trans person as "wow you were once a man" or "wow you were once a woman" like just avoid those phrases all together
You could just say "I'm not comfortable talking about sex, so I won't answer these questions" instead of making a big deal about a sex ed question..
When a straight girl is asked "how would you feel if you found out your crush was a trans male", one of the first thoughts that pops into her mind is about whether or not he will have a penis that can get erect and penetrate like a cis penis.. That's what some of us are here to find out, while some of us are here because we are considering going through the change and wants to know if it's even possible to have certain experiences or not. We don't need to know your preferred sex positions, foreplay, kinks etc. I think the question just comes down to "is there the same options as with cis penis sex", and it's possible to answer with multiple answers.. It's a question about sex education. Not a request for a homemade sex tape. Anatomy, what has what function, what is usually sensitive, what is usually not, what can hurt, what can be unpleasant.. In the cis straight world, with a huge dick you might need a lot of lube and "warm up" the vagina properly before penetration, if someone has a hard time getting erect there are certain ways you can kinda restrict the blood from retreating so it stays hard enough for penetration, or take a pill called viagra, or just wait til he's less nervous because that can affect it too, a clitoris can be so sensitive that direct stimulation is painful, some can take a hammer on it and orgasm.. It's different for everyone yes, even how genitals look. The more you know, the less awkward and possible emotionally (and physically) hurtful situations there will be. There are general things that everyone are usually taught, or able to learn beforehand, and if coming across a cute trans person it's also nice to be prepared and be able to go with the flow when the moment is there, rather than being surprised, not knowing what to expect or do or say etc... Are trans people and those attracted to them not allowed to experience spontaneous sex after a night with a lot of sexual tension, without having the moment ruined by a Q&A beforehand, because the cis person has no idea what they're getting into? I get your point, but it's a bit off than what the question was meant as. If you are not interested in doing sex education, say that instead. It seems a bit unnecessary to preach about how people have sex differently etc. as to why you don't want to answer. It's a bit of a reach imo. We all appreciate that you're otherwise super open about everything and we can come here and learn. Just look at how many are here solely for genuine curiosity and interest in learning. This video was a bit of a "fuck you" to those people I think.
Yeah I agree with you, ppl here are more SexED curious, and not into porn material descriptions.
But you are absolutely wrong about he huge penis fantasy, and if there are women with that fantasy they are wrong.
Women sexuality has little to do with intercourse, penetration, in fact
None or not many girls ever insert some huge something into the vagina when pleasuring themselves.
And in fact, it seems that not many, probably no woman can climax, from intercourse penetration stimulation only...
mmm I doubt that Jimmi had SexED or the right SexEd as school.... mmm
Great, an important question everyone has and you just made a video to say that you won't answer.
Spoiler : I am not telling anyone .
Yep, I also lost it at the dinosaur eyebrow waggle.
“How do you have sex?” I DONT
Pointless video. 😳
I have watched a couple of your videos out of interest.
You ask questions about which we are all interested and fascinated but to which to give absolutely no answers to alt all except o say your won't be telling anyone in your vids, because it's personal.
I couldn't agree more, in which case why are you making any videos with such misleading questions and what are you doing it for?
Is this therapy for you, in which case it's pretty self indulgent?
Julian Coulden he made this video to speak to people who go asking these things. It's a general statement to those who want to know, that it is indeed disrespectful and nosy to demand and answer to this question!
I generally like your points in this video although I think a lot of people generally just are confused and have curiosity about how people outside the norm "do it" and I kinda wished you had provided some general answers even if not specific to you
What a rude question to ask someone! I love how you answered it with humor, especially the dinosaur costume 😁🦖
Sigh...such a clickbait title.
The question is straightforward n simple. You didn't NEED to get all so triggered n beat around the bush SMH