By popular demand, here's Nat's spreadsheet all cleaned up with links (Some are affiliate links... all are genuine recommendations): docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1jyH_VCv4jmnTLlmGFV5kG9J5tEVIsgo5wC2eE58rxts/edit?usp=sharing
Thank you, I'm due August and live in a small flat so due to space won't be getting much. It's good to see what people consider necessary for the first few months. We're you guys a buy all at once or wait until you needed the things to make sure you really needed them?
@kmcm1 hello & congrats!! Mom of 2 here (8 y/o & 18 m/o), I'm definitely team buy-as-you-go-and-get-to-know-your-kid-s-needs. To welcome your baby, you just need a place for them to sleep in & a place to keep their clothes, towels, etc. For our older one, we bought her a crib, a 3 drawers dresser to keep her stuff, including diapers and hygiene stuff in the top drawer since the top of the dresser doubled as a changing spot for the first months, just put a changing mat on it and a basket with essentials. We also bought a stroller with a bassinet option before she was a born, it actually was our first baby purchase... and first baby mistake, because she hated the bassinet and preferred being carried, so we bought a baby carrier in a hurry. First baby carrier model we bought wasn't ergonomic for me and had to return it, so better wait until baby is born to see what's the better fit for them. Every baby is different, some love being carried all the time, others love to have some space for themselves from the get go. Research your options before baby is born, so you can refine your preferences while you have time to do so. But wait until baby is out to actually buy it. For now, focus on safe space to sleep and a solution to keep and organise baby's essentials, and a good car seat if you have a car. Hope you have a nice pregnancy and a safe delivery!!
Pregnant first time momma here! This is an incredible list! Thank you! Been decluttering our home in prep for babe, and wondering how we can keep our space from feeling overloaded. All the friends and fam say we “need” everything but I say it’s bogus. Glad I’m (mostly) right, lol! Thanks again!
I gotta say, as a mum of two with very low income when they were small, when you have no money you very quickly realise what is essential. At least 40% of that list is unnecessary. I would also add that the volume of clothes needed changes drastically with your climate. I grew up in hot climate around navies who only ever wore singlets and nappies, my kids were born in cold climate with poorly heated homes. Think the layers in the home, with 1-2 more when you go out into the wind. I think if you want to cut down on excess or reduce spending, either pretend you have a fraction of your current income, or that you are having a child in the 1950s.
When I was a kid, for my first few birthdays and Christmas’ my parents asked friends and family to write letters to me instead of bringing me presents. They asked them to write down their advice for going through different life stages (puberty, starting middle school and high school, learning to drive, how to get through my first heartbreak, moving out for the first time, going to college, etc.). She also asked them to write stories about their lives growing up. Now at 24, I still read these letters. A handful of the people who wrote to me have now passed away and I will get to cherish them forever through these letters. At new milestones in my life my parents have given me a bunch of letters to open and it has always been my favorite gift to receive. At this point in my life, I know I have only 3 more bundles of letters left, one for when I get married, one for when I buy my first home, and one for when I have my first child. I’m sad that those will be the last letters I will receive, but I’m also so happy that one day my friends and family can start the cycle over again when I start a family of my own.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful idea. It was so sweet of them making these letters for you. I would have loved it if my family had done something like that for me, because I love letters.
Yep! Always love Matt’s videos and interested to hear his perspective. I love how Matt & Natt are a unit, having these conversations that align with their values and making it work. Great role models.
Hey so I had to re-upload this video because of a copyright issue. Very embarrassing. I’ll blame it on dad brain. Please be a friend and watch this video again so it doesn’t crap the bed and then share it with someone who it might help :) Btw Nat’s working on cleaning up the baby spreadsheet I mention in the video (get getting links to everything). I’ll share that as a new pinned comment in less than 24 hours so check back here if you want that! And don’t worry I didn’t lose any sleep over this because I don’t have any more sleep to lose :)
It always cracks me up to see minimalist prepping for kids. I had my first kid at 21 years old, I was homeless and had no clue at all. I bought a few clothes from the flea market (the most colorful possible), made a few plushies and drapes with rags, and that was enough to be honest. At some point I bought a stroller when I had a home but a scarf is enough for the first few months. And then I see minimalist people going through so much research and buying all those gadgets that they don't need and instead of just enjoying them, spend their time justifying their choice. I think with babies you really don't need much and you can find things as you go, or get a hand me down from time to time. And I have seen a comment of someone on this comment section saying for their first birthdays the parents asked for letters instead of gifts. I think that is a very beautiful idea.
I was thinking with the list "buy what you need as you go" - so if you're taking baby home in a car, get the carseat. Clothes I think they did fabulous with. Then just see what you need and want from there 😊
This!!! I'm watching this as my 5 month old sleeps on me (I'm 23) and this video is making me feel like an unintentional extreme minimalist 😂 So much in this is un-needed (bottles, pump, teats, dummies to name a few) just breastfeed bro
the Montessori approach is pretty minimalist for kids and it builds their independence and more importantly protects and builds their attention and concentration
I'm all for being a minimalist and decluttering and what-not, but at least do not be a sad beige parent. Let the kids have colors! Bright, vibrant colors! It really helps their development.
Firstly, there's enough bold colours in the natural world. In the past no plastic with unnaturally bright colours existed, so arguing that such colours are necessary for development as most "anti-beige parents" are, is not really truthful. If you look at the items they chose, they didn't pick only one colour for all items. In fact, all items had some colour, perhaps they were muted or matte. Or they had mainly wood with an accent of a bright colour (most lovevery toys are like that). There's still an abundance of freshness and colour with children, but you can still help curate it and keep it calm and not overwhelming for both you and the child. I spent HOURS of my life examining the specific angles and shadows of my laced window sheer curtains, or the hardwood floors, or popcorn church walls. Having less means each item will be more thoroughly examined and more familiar. We had one single teether for a long time, and after we had an influx of multiple new ones, the familiar one remained the favourite. Same applied to plushies. Yes children can easily grow to love lots of items, and that's a part of parenthood, but the reality is there is an abundance of colour in our days even without excess and loudness. The most important for their good development are calm and composed parents as much of the time as possible, and while calm colours help children's nervous systems as well (since loud colours inherently mean danger - think of all the beautiful poisonous and venomous animals and plants) they can help parents achieve this state as well. A regulated parent means a better regulated kid and if less clutter (both in quantity and in visual clutter) helps get there, it's best to strive for it! :) The most dysregulated as a parent I pretty much ever am is when there's too many and too loud things, and items/objects/activities I feel like I have to manage simultaneously seemingly mixed up all together. I'm pretty confident I'm not alone and there are countless of studies showing people's stress has a positive (rising) correlation with the amount of objects within their household - thus management. It also affects women on average worse. Lastly for food of thought I'll add a random fun fact that hasn't yet been studied, I've been a much more calm regulated and joyous and safe driver in a country with only traffic signs and virtually no advertisement billboards that steer your attention away from the road constantly.
Same. I hate clutter as well but there’s no need to give the baby 5x the same onesie! Most baby clothes are cotton and machine washable - she was solving a problem that didn’t exist. Why not have 5 differently colored onesies…? Children need some color.
As a minimalist mom of 5 who also homeschools, I’ve learned kids don’t need premade toys. All my children love to read and start at age 5. They love to sing, dance, toss a ball in the living room and run around outside together making up games. They play piano, draw and write stories, and create their own toys out of whatever we have in the house. They don’t argue with each other much because instead of being territorial over stuff, they spend time working as a team to create games and their own toys to play with. It’s so much fun to see what they come up with!
@@jessicaneal8553 Wake. up an hour before they do to start your day and I always napped with them during the day which gave me a little extra boost to do a bit after they go to sleep as well. Also I stopped expecting so much from myself. We have so much more time in the day then we think we do. It becomes more apparent as we continue to slow down and simplify life in all areas, not just the surface level ones.
My 3 older children (9,6,4) are usually up within the first 20 minutes of me waking up too 😅 The excitement of a new day and a moment with mommy is all they need to pop out of bed! But I encourage them to stay in their beds and ease their way awake by reading, journaling, drawing or just sitting there watching the sun rise and the world wake up through their window. They also get their clothes on, make their beds and brush their teeth/wash their face before they come out of their room so I can usually get a whole hour. They all also help with all the household chores, love to cook and bake as well with me so it never feels overwhelming. Hoping you can find your balance 🥰
The broke parent can WALK CIRCLES around minimalist parent…. Changing pad? A towel. Burp cloths? A towel. Swaddle? A towel. The food catchy? A towel on the floor. Blocks/stacking toys? Empty food/drink containers. Expensive sippy cup? Plastic cup with a straw. White noise machine? fan or heater on low, me humming, white noise on phone or tv.
This comment needs more attention! I love it. It’s so true that you can be “minimalist” and still consumer-minded. Babies need love, attention, and good hygiene.
As a new parent I recommend buying the bare necessities and then slowly adding on as you learn your baby’s preferences. For example, my baby never liked pacifiers or swings. I would go on Reddit groups and forums to research anything new I planned to buy to confirm if it is worthwhile. I didn’t use the monitor because we ended up cosleeping.
I totally agree. I never bought things that were considered “necessities” to others. No swaddles, no white noise machines, no baby monitors, etc. Waiting for each development stage, searching for it in forums, talking about it with our paediatrician and other parents and ending up buying things kind of “last minute “ and when absolutely needed. Each baby is so different, :)
Re-commenting: I am so happy you guys didn't give up on your values because they became harder. You and Nat are doing an amazing job. All kids need is love.
Dad of three here, I love how self-aware y’all are and the open willingness to learn as you go. That will help you so much more than you can imagine as your family grows and changes. Also I can attest that common outfits for the first few months are game. changing. and you should give Nat a raise for that idea. 💯
Yeah same! She still refuses to call herself a minimalist because the label doesn't resonate with her. And that honestly makes sense to me- it'd be like her using an American accent... something about it just doesn't feel right. But she has gotten much more intentional over the years with spending, clutter, work and relationships. And in the same way she's rubbed off on me and helped me to let go of my perfectionism, embrace a bit more chaos, and get out into the world more instead of being a hermit :)
Since this is a re-upload, this is me re-commenting 😂 I love the baby capsule wardrobe and that food catcher thingy under the baby chair You may have to have at least 2 toy boxes so you can do toy rotation 😊. Thanks for sharing your family experience!
As a mum with 3 adult young men I would have loved to know minimalism when they were young.. I loved this video and will try to instill it in my kids when they have kids of their own. This was a very thoughtful video Matt! And Frankie is sooooo adorable ❤
I do like having various color shades of burp cloths, because it helps me keep track of which ones need washed when they end up scattered around the house. 😅
I wasn’t officially a minimalist mom, but all my babies really needed was me, diapers and wipes, clothes, a sling, stroller and car seat. My diaper bag was a small fabric purse that just fit three diapers, a pack of baby wipes and a folded up baby blanket. The blanket doubled as a change mat, burp cloth and spare emergency clothes. I especially hated bottle clutter - all the little components of bottles, bottle brushes, sterilizers, racks, etc. so I just didn’t use bottles or sippy cups ever. I breastfed my babies, coslept, and slingwore them and they had everything they needed. And with all the money saved on not buying that stuff, I didn’t have to work and was able to spend that much time with the babies in the first place. 😆
yea this "minimalist" list seemed too much even for someone that isnt a minimalist. all a baby needs is diapers/wipes, milk: formula (a couple of bottles)/breast, clothes, blankets, a safe travel method, and a safe place to sleep
Something my mom did when I was young is similar to the bin idea. Kids usually find a couple favorite toys. She got tired of us having huge amount of toys and not playing with most of them. So she put them into storage bins and then every month would switch out a couple of toys. It stopped there from being a bunch of stuff but also entertained us, because we'd be excited about the "new" toys.
This is what we do with my niece and nephew with my brother and I's old toys at my parents, haha here's "new" toys from the 90s! (a box brought up from the basement)
I grew up a minimalist. When i was a kid my dad was a pilot in the air force. I had a small military looking trunk. And if it didnt fit i couldn't get it or take it. At least until i was in high school. We traveled all the time so i never felt poor or neglected. I definitely saw more and had more life experiences than most kids. This was through the 70s and 80s. Here i am at 56 years old and i am in nature still a minimalist living with a bunch of Maximalists. Ive learned to just deal with it.
i love how you say "living with a bunch of Maximalists". So true. Sometimes i feel the pressure to follow what everyone else is doing, but I try to stay true and remember "things" aren't so important.
I freaking love this take. I BECAME a Minimalist when I became a mom. Was diagnosed with ADHD and realized I just can't handle extra. I need to have only a manageable (for me) amount of stuff, thoughts, responsibilities, and commitments.
Matt and Nat, I never comment on videos but felt compelled to this time. My husband and I are your age and just had our second kid (2yo and 4mo). We have been minimalists for 5 years now and I had the same concerns as you. It’s so possible to be a minimalist parent and you’re kicking butt!!! My best unsolicited advice is that you remember it’s not your job to “entertain” your child. They have plenty of resources in your home already to play with and really don’t need special stuff to be creative and learn. We’re cheering you on!
As a new parent- I agree with so much of this. Adding to the conversation, I would also so you don’t need to purchase all new things. Babies go through their different stages so fast so many things are only lightly used. Through friends/family and the buy nothing group on Facebook- we haven’t had to buy any clothes and very little books/toys for him. Anything that is given to us, we go through and pass on the extras we don’t need.
Being a sad beige parent is harmful to your child’s development. Color and variety is vital for your child’s growth and development. They absolutely need more colors! More shades and vibrant colors!!!
actually, that is only half tue. yes, kids need color, but the environment, nature has more than enough. 100 years ago there was no colorful Lego etc. On the contrary: too much color can produce overstimulation. You might want to keep colors of the bins that hold colorful toys calm ;)
@@sabrinas.6036 Agree with your comment. My mom was a minimalist “sad beige parent” in the 1980s (before such a term existed). In spite of this fact, we were encouraged to play outside A LOT and choose toys we enjoyed (no matter how colorful they were). We were given a limit to how many toys we could own and we would regularly do “audits” (my word, not hers) to reevaluate what toys we still loved and which toys we wanted to donate to other kids. Looking back, my brother and I tended to keep the toys that were “beige” and sentimental; the more colorful toys that were plastic, trendy, and transient tended to be the first we donated (and ended up being wasteful, not to mention potentially harmful to the environment). She instilled a profound sense of gratitude within us, not dissimilar to KonMari’s method of “thanking” the item before donating it. I feel a great sense of peace and comfort as an adult without feeling deprived, depressed, etc. I would recommend exercising caution against projecting one’s own trauma (or others’ imagined trauma) onto others. Let parents parent.
Neither my husband nor I are minimalists, but since becoming parents 18months ago, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by stuff. The more you have, the more you need to tidy, organize, wash etc. Decluttering and buying with purpose are now a priority. Thank you for sharing your experience ! It is always inspiring to see how others "do it" :D
As someone looking to start a family this year, this honest account of how to keep life simple for yourself as a new parent has been incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing!
Nat is hysterical! Boundaries are essential with kids. Second hand clothes for kids is the way to go. Good for you to scale back Matt. You will never regret it! It does go by quickly. It’s been 28 years… I loved every bit of raising my son… even the difficult times.❤❤
This is one of your most thoughtful videos you have put together in a long time. You can tell how much love and care you are putting into becoming a father. There is so much life and philosophy unlocked from life when you become a parent!
Frankie is an absolutely precious, beautiful baby. Wishing you all the wonderful things I know you'll make happen as a family. I love your re-imagination of priorities!
We donated to our local pregnancy care centre a bunch of gifts we received that we didn’t need. I totally agree with not keeping the stuff out of obligation when another family could use it (and might be pumped to receive it!). Also, The Minimal Mom is a great proof that it is possible to be minimalists with young kids (I think her four kids were ~2-7 years old when she discovered minimalism).
Love all of this! I feel like the gift conversation is really tricky, and I appreciate your perspective on it. And yes, while it's easy to just shove things into the back of a closet, it's better that they get used! Even if that means donating it is another thing on the to-do list.
We aren't perfect with gifts and we aren't as strict as some others. If someone gives us a hand woven blanket with his name inscribed, we're not going to toss it. But even if you make the "tough" decision 90% of the time, you're going to significantly reduce the amount of clutter in your home.
Love the video! I was able to be a minimalist with 7 kids. It is able to be done. I actually became a minimalist as a new parent in 2005, before there was really a name for it. The kids have loved our simple life and I am grateful I made those changes when I did.
I love the video's cinematography and style. One can really feel that you've gone back to your roots, working alone and putting your personal touch in every step of production. These are some awesome tips for trying to stay at least a bit more minimalistic while having a kid. Is there a reason for keeping most items in more toned down pastel/brown colors? I've heard several arguments both for and against doing that, how ot may affect the kid's creativity etc.
I don't think it impacts kid's creativity at all. Sticks and rocks are the same color and they seem to get really creative with thoaw. Plus there are lots of colors out in the world that our son doesn't need bright colored cups, bowls and spoons.
Such a great video! I’m 34 wks and this couldn’t have come at a better time as I’ve been trying to stay focused on the important items for us. So far we’ve been sticking to it and I feel calmer about it🙌🏽 Baby items are so commercially overwhelming and I can see how people’s houses become cluttered - not something I’m interested in! As you said, you’re busy enough with the basics of parenting, let alone tripping over additional unnecessary things. You guys are doing amazing! Thanks again for your valuable time to share with us!
I love this video. We take a minimalistic approach to parenting. Our daughter just turned 1 years old. Over these past 12 months, I stored away things in our closet that others gifted to us that just didn’t work for our family or things we purchased that we ended up not using. Now I’m making gift boxes full of these goodies and will be passing them along to expecting families. We’re saving items for future little ones as well and your storage solution is genius. Thanks for sharing that. I just felt this video was super relatable. It matches our aesthetic and philosophy as parents that many people around us do not understand. The Catchy sounds like a wonderful idea. I was skeptical, but this video changed my mind. I feel seen and appreciated!
Just looking at books on minimalism. Then saw this on my main page. Love you. You’re one of my first creators I loved and still love as I protect creators. Love this new phase of your life. As a mom to a 13 and 5 year old welcome to the best part of life, being a parent. ❤
@@mattdavella oh you made my day! Even though I am a creator I still get tickled to hear from my favorite creator. I love my fellow UA-camrs, it never gets old because I know how much effort it takes to comment and do everything else with your channel and being a dad!
The looooong awaited video and it didn't disappoint 😜10/10 for that attention to detail at 00:39 with projectile vomiting. Adding those chunks in there too was just a cherry on top 😆
I absolutely love the editing and all the creative shots you've taken!! The spilled vomit, the conversation between you and Nat, the humor, I loved all of it!!
It is slightly different though. Matt is starting from being a minimalist - which is a huge part of his identity. Most of the mums on here started the process after having children. Becoming minimalist because of the overwhelming amount of stuff the came with children.
Super helpful, Matt. Thanks for posting. With two kids and a third on the way, I’m constantly trying to figure out what to eliminate. As a stay-at-home dad, removing the unnecessary has been essential to making this crazy life a little less complicated. It’s a tough battle but definitely worthwhile. Thanks for adding value to my life!
Loved this and we were the same. Like Marie kondo it became more difficult with each kid. And what's hardest is gate keeping what everyone around you wants to gift. Everyone is excited to buy things for the baby and you don't want to crush their joy. Still, it's a worthy goal and it's good to keep purging as they grow.
I became more minimal when i had 3 kids. I was overwhelmed and stressed. I became 30 years old and realised i needed to let go of the things that didnt serve me. 1 year in i had my 4th baby. Bringing baby items into my home after literally getting rid of all baby things was a fresh start. (We didnt plan a 4th baby but she came and was a blessing). It actually gave me a fresh look on what was really needed. We had conversations with family and friends about gifts and they were very understanding. (Plus they all assumed we still had everything previously). We bought second hand clothing and a baby wrap and that was pretty much it. We had a crib which we hardly used. It felt much calmer when she was born and felt we had more time for her than we did with our previous kids. Minimalism is great for everyone over all. Great video.
Congrats on Frankie! and this video was so awesome! This was so relatable! Felt so understood!! Especially with your section about work. I turned down a few promotions and a bunch of side opp. to be more present with the family.
Love, love, love the process you both took to figure this out together! Years ago I found your channel. I always appreciated your videos showing how choosing minimalism can affect your life. I’ve been looking forward to seeing how you worked minimalism into this stage of your life. Thanks for sharing! I think you’re both doing a wonderful job! You’ll be able to handle baby #2, if you choose to go down that path. The first years can feel the most exhausting, especially if it’s your first time experiencing all of this. Not to say it’s not tiresome the second time around, but you have a better idea of what to expect, so things can feel a bit easier.
Congratulations on your little one!! So adorable ❤ I currently have a four year old and a one year old. We have more than one box of toys, but we don’t have crazy amounts. The children share a small toy shelf, plus my little boy has Lego and puzzles (only as many as fit in one box), and I have a small cupboard shelf with toys in that I rotate out. And it’s plenty, even with my children being with me all day. We’ve got crayons and paper and stickers, we’ve got books which they adore, and they play outside a tonne. And I know people who do great with less than we have too. No dramas. You’ll do great - it’s all so much fun 💜💜💜 (Minimal Mom UA-cam channel is the GOAT for this kind of stuff)
As a mom of 6, I’ll say this. Minimalism can make your life a LOT more work. You have to figure out what number of baby blankets, bibs, outfits etc that makes your life easy and how many is too many. There were several times I tried to have less and it made my life harder. There’s a fine line between having to wash things every second because you only have 4 bibs and having too many cuz babies poop, spit up and drool allll the time😂 My first son spit up for an entire year. He often got 2-4 outfits soaked every day. So it was well worth it to me to have more clothes so I wasn’t literally waiting for the spit up soaked baby bibs, blankets and sleepers to wash and dry while my baby was naked.
It's so true that the stuff only helps about 10%. I found when I had more children, the less and less stuff I brought with me into each new season of parenthood. I have about 10 things I pulled out of storage for my 4th baby. Having support and community from friends and family or hired help can do so much more, since as you said, being a parent is just so much effort and work, being physically and emotionally present, being there with your baby. I can see the love you have for each other, having a family is such a beautiful part of life! Loved this video!
Another brilliant breakdown! You guys actually did what we thought we were going to do (capsule wardrobe) but we got all our clothes as hand-me-downs so it was kind of hard to justify buying all new stuff. Love the toy bin though, hell yeah.
Not that our home isn't colorful (cause we like it that way) but I mean don't kids see color all the time because the world is colorful anyway? They're not inside their crib/home all day anyway, so why does the decor and furniture matter that much?!
@@palestblue the place they spend the most time in is their home. I guess it would look a bit boring if it was all grey... 😕
10 місяців тому+2
We have a baby girl of 10 months and just realised that we are minimalists by force ahah. I related so much with this video. We are nomadic, from Portugal, currently in Brazil and you can only travel with so much, so a lot of things you did at home we do while traveling. For example a limited number of toys, limiting the grandparents toy gifts, spending much more time with them and less money on things. So far its working really well. Yes being a parent is super challenging, we also have serious doubts about the second as this one is already SO HARD!!! One thing you inspired me to do (as an entrepreneur) is to rethink what I really love to do and cut the rest, rethink how I work to remove the stress I feel with work being left behind. Again, probably the video I related the most so far, thank you for that, I hope you keep sharing your journey.
Great video! I love the idea of the capsule wardrobe outfit for the first few months. When my baby was little I just used a color scheme for his clothes so every top matched with every bottom and dressing him was so easy.
I've got my 2nd kid on the way and a 3 year old already. We've found a great balance of selling stuff when needed and keeping the essentials. It's a balance of keeping things fun for kids but not "imposing" minimalism to my kid.
Funny thing is, the less toys we have around, the more playful my kids are! The less clothes we buy for them, the more we can choose the few we do buy so they're all favorites they love to dress in. But throwing their stuff out is not the way to go. Best is bringing less stuff in
Loved the advice to simplify and to adjust how we view minimalism as parents! I'll look forward to seeing a revamped video once Frankie is a little older. For us, toddlerhood has brought new challenges and much joy, and our house is still organized despite the chaos. I love seeing the comments on how people with more than one child are still able to practice minimalism.
I loved the video, but I don't understand the "Try being a minimalist with kids" discussion in the first place. After all, you are adding another human being to your household when you have kids. Of course they need some stuff. The 100-200 items they added is probably way less than each of the parents own (including personal things, household stuff and hobby/work equipment). If Matt and Natalie got a flatmate instead, he/she probably would have brought way more stuff into their shared space. And yes, one of the challenges with kids is that they are changing and developing way faster than adults, so you have to bring in new stuff and declutter more frequently. At times it can be hard to stay on top of it, and your house definitely won't be instagram perfect. But you don't have to fit into the minimalist aesthetic to be a minimalist.
This is beautiful! I love that last bit about the importance of setting boundaries with your kids. We are the parents, not them, and so while you love them and care about how they feel, ultimately you prioritize shaping them into well rounded, happy adults.
“Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; but increase comes by the strength of an ox.” If it's beneficial to you it's worth the "mess" it makes. Keep what is useful and/or beautiful and let go of the rest. Being more hardcore than this for the sake of being hardcore turns from Minimalism to Asceticism- you can't win the game until you're life is absolutely terrible. 😅❤ -Mom of 3
Currently pregnant & have 108 things on my list. I’ve been slowly downsizing (my stuff) what I already have in my home (before baby is here) when I have energy.
Hey I saw the giraffe toy you have for your kid in the video and I don’t know if you used it just for a prop but those things can contain mold within them because it’s hard to clean or dry inside. It get more mold in narrower space it has inside.
New minimalist parent here! A couple hacks that might help fellow parents: Sterilizing or heating a baby bottle takes a minute or three, you don't need special equipment for it. You can use an old phone on airplane mode and Spotify instead of a white noise machine. You don't need to baby proof your house, just get a playpen or put them in the crib to play (if it's big enough). You don't need special spoons or bowls, our baby just uses a metal spoon and a plastic bowl/tupperware. You can use unused milk storage bags to freeze and fresh food portions for your baby. Placing a big burp cloth under your baby whilst they feed will also catch all the food. Everything that's new and colorful is a toy to your kid.
I don’t see what minimalism has to do with a lack of colour. I’m really not trying to be hateful here. It is DO vital for even newborn babies to be exposed to bright and stimulating colours. It’ll help with their curiosity and development! Please, please take this into account. Your aesthetic preferences should not take priority over this
As a nervous system regulation specialist it's important to note that humans evolved in a natural space (think lots of browns, greens and occasional pops of colors in certain seasons) and that bright colors or excess colors are overstimulating for children and can cause an excessively high threshold for visual stimulation.
I'm so happy for you guys and your little guy! Thanks for talking about this topic and being so transparent about how parenting DOES change you. Minimalism does look different as a parent, BUT minimalism has helped me so much just to even keep my sanity. My son has tons of toys, but I keep it to a manageable amount and it is a lot of maintenance. My daughter has a ton of shoes and that is her right and they aren't all over the house. I don't push my minimalism on my kids, but use it as a tool to be a more organized and calm parent. It's not all or nothing with most things in life. Sounds like you guys are using minimalism as your tool. I wish you all the best as Frankie continues to challenge and bless you both.
I think that with kids its best to be a “maximalist” (or just a regular family) in their core developmental years, so they really get to experience all the nuances of everything and don’t miss out on stuff. but as you get to their teen years, and they gain more independence (i.e. they could get on fine for maybe 2-3 days without your presence) thats the time when you are free to go back to the minimalism you so desperately crave. At that point it’s basically a precursor of retirement 😂
I somewhat disagree. Being a "maximalist" is what you mean, buying them small meaningless toys every time you leave the house and accepting every gift from relatives until the room is jam-packed with enrichment they will never see. My mom is like this. Her new kid (age 5) is spoiled and throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. Or, how she raised me was maximalist and then suddenly minimalist at age 7. She wanted me to get rid of all my shit and sell it. She wasn't really minimalist, she just wanted drug money, but yeah. There needs to be a balance between mental stimulation and teaching the kid value in what they own. There is a fine line between that and making your kid fucked up.
This video gives me hope ! Truly. I don’t have a child yet but seeing all the parents overwhelmed with stuff scared me. Now I know it’s actually possible not to. THANK YOU.
You work for 40yrs to have $1M in your retirement, meanwhile some people are putting just $10K in a meme coin from just few months ago and now they are multimillionaires.❤️
I'm not a parent, but I have worked in preschool and I think books are a great way to channel loved one's gift giving impulses. They're great for brain development, and bonding time. Plus, when your child gets a little older, they're going to be semi-consumable: they get destroyed by drool, food, pages ripped out, etc, so having multiple copies of a favorite book will be good.
You guys are doing great! It'll get better, this is just a season. At least that's what I'm telling myself with a 3 and 2 year old while trying to keep our lives as minimalist as possible
Visit a single poor mother with a baby and you'll learn that minimalism works just fine with kids because she has no money for *unnecessary items*. It's the people who have the money to spend, overthink that a child under one truly needs 10 different pajamas if he vomits.
I love this video. We been through the exact same struggles and its amazing that someone summarized so well for us. UNTIL we recently had our second child... upside, we finally dont need to hold back on things we were saving, downside, there are two of them and i literally almost have to declutter me eating food out of the schedule :' ) let alone the time it takes to be thoughtful of what to donate and organize, but we do make it a priority whenever we have a bit of free time. I also donated something i thought i didnt need at the time but turns out actually needing it the next week. So it was sprinting to the grocery store n get it back for me. However, i would say *trying* to stay minimalistic not only make me more cautious and mindful, but also a lot more creative. In the end of the day, it makes me enjoy parenting so much more. I would 100% recommend minimalism to any parents who are on the fence about it :)
I don't have kids, I am definitely not a minimalist by any means, & I honestly have no idea why I even clicked this video aside for sheer curiosity... But I stayed for the actual REAL content, and the fact that you guys don't bleep out words like "shit" and "fuck". Thank you for being raw, honest and real. I had no reason to stay aside for both of you just being actual, normal, humans, and I'm here for it. THANK YOU FOR ACTUAL CONTENT. Sincerely, from a kidless, mess of a human-being. ♥
As a childcare worker, please don’t limit your child to one bucket of toys, children need diversity in toys as they stimulate different types of the brain and help develop different areas of development. Children also need exposure to different colours as that helps develop colour recognition. I completely understand minimalism for adults and agree with it and frankly you can limit the amount of baby stuff you have but when it comes to toys, you should be very careful.
Looks like they have a Lovevery subscription. They are toys from newborn to age 4 that come in every 3-4 months with devel appropriate toys. You can even mix and match from previous packs to keep things run.
This is exactly what the toy industry what’s you to believe. Kids really just need the outdoors and basic open ended toys like blocks and balls and dolls. They need to use their imagination and real things like dirt and water and grass and outside etc to really learn and grow and thrive. Read the book 1000 hours outside
@@erinmosey3439 totally agree. also kids learn to make their own toys from sticks and rocks and random bits. This teaches way more creative and resourcefulness than toys ever could.
@@luciavasquez1234yes exactly! I remember being outside all the time and pretending to cook with the plants and flowers in the backyard, I would have a pot and spoon from the kitchen and would pick the plants and stir them around lol
Would love an updated video as your sweet little man grows i.e. managing larger toys, your child's interests, etc. in a way that embraces simplicity. Well done to you both.
You might not see this but pleaseeee get kids lots of toys it’s not waste of money or being practical… it really help there development and make them curious about how things work also most importantly teach them about attachment, I still remember the toys I had and still makes me happy thinking about them
This is the video I've been waiting for for over 3y when my own baby was born 😅 thank you! Juggling the ins/outs of stuff and clothes to me feels like (yet another, never ending!) ft job, so glad you mentioned that! 🙏
As a new mom myself who was very career driven, I very much resonate with your comments on minimalism in work after having a child. Thank you for this!
I kind of think that might be why the baby enjoys the manual...cause of the colors. I don't think he looks sad though, but it may be worth considering adding some colorful toys.
I had a good giggle at the end when you were talking about the toddler parents screaming at the screen. Were in a tiny house and for the first 1.5 years of our boys life he had a little book shelf that held ALL of his toys. Then we did a covered deck extension to give us some much needed additional space and now our boy (and his future sibling) has a ikea kallax 8 space toy shelf plus a little wooden play kitchen to house all his toys. You'll definitely need more stuff but you'll bring your minimalism to toddler life too and comparatively to other toddler parents who have bins and bins of crappy super noisy toys, you'll be minimalists! What is minimalism anyway, minimal comparative to what? There's no hard and fast rules
By popular demand, here's Nat's spreadsheet all cleaned up with links (Some are affiliate links... all are genuine recommendations): docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1jyH_VCv4jmnTLlmGFV5kG9J5tEVIsgo5wC2eE58rxts/edit?usp=sharing
Thank you, I'm due August and live in a small flat so due to space won't be getting much. It's good to see what people consider necessary for the first few months. We're you guys a buy all at once or wait until you needed the things to make sure you really needed them?
THANK YOU!!!
@kmcm1 hello & congrats!! Mom of 2 here (8 y/o & 18 m/o), I'm definitely team buy-as-you-go-and-get-to-know-your-kid-s-needs. To welcome your baby, you just need a place for them to sleep in & a place to keep their clothes, towels, etc. For our older one, we bought her a crib, a 3 drawers dresser to keep her stuff, including diapers and hygiene stuff in the top drawer since the top of the dresser doubled as a changing spot for the first months, just put a changing mat on it and a basket with essentials. We also bought a stroller with a bassinet option before she was a born, it actually was our first baby purchase... and first baby mistake, because she hated the bassinet and preferred being carried, so we bought a baby carrier in a hurry. First baby carrier model we bought wasn't ergonomic for me and had to return it, so better wait until baby is born to see what's the better fit for them. Every baby is different, some love being carried all the time, others love to have some space for themselves from the get go. Research your options before baby is born, so you can refine your preferences while you have time to do so. But wait until baby is out to actually buy it. For now, focus on safe space to sleep and a solution to keep and organise baby's essentials, and a good car seat if you have a car. Hope you have a nice pregnancy and a safe delivery!!
Pregnant first time momma here! This is an incredible list! Thank you! Been decluttering our home in prep for babe, and wondering how we can keep our space from feeling overloaded. All the friends and fam say we “need” everything but I say it’s bogus. Glad I’m (mostly) right, lol! Thanks again!
I gotta say, as a mum of two with very low income when they were small, when you have no money you very quickly realise what is essential. At least 40% of that list is unnecessary.
I would also add that the volume of clothes needed changes drastically with your climate. I grew up in hot climate around navies who only ever wore singlets and nappies, my kids were born in cold climate with poorly heated homes. Think the layers in the home, with 1-2 more when you go out into the wind.
I think if you want to cut down on excess or reduce spending, either pretend you have a fraction of your current income, or that you are having a child in the 1950s.
When I was a kid, for my first few birthdays and Christmas’ my parents asked friends and family to write letters to me instead of bringing me presents. They asked them to write down their advice for going through different life stages (puberty, starting middle school and high school, learning to drive, how to get through my first heartbreak, moving out for the first time, going to college, etc.). She also asked them to write stories about their lives growing up. Now at 24, I still read these letters. A handful of the people who wrote to me have now passed away and I will get to cherish them forever through these letters. At new milestones in my life my parents have given me a bunch of letters to open and it has always been my favorite gift to receive. At this point in my life, I know I have only 3 more bundles of letters left, one for when I get married, one for when I buy my first home, and one for when I have my first child. I’m sad that those will be the last letters I will receive, but I’m also so happy that one day my friends and family can start the cycle over again when I start a family of my own.
Wow, what a beautiful idea! This really made me tear up a bit.
This is literally Violet Evergarden episode 10
Such a beautiful idea and story, thank you for sharing
Love that idea!!
Thanks for sharing this beautiful idea. It was so sweet of them making these letters for you. I would have loved it if my family had done something like that for me, because I love letters.
Any else watching with no kids but still interested
I don’t have kids but I have a nephew and this video put into perspective a lot of things! It’s cool to learn how other parents approach parenthood.
Me. I have a 🐈 no human kids. But still watching matt's videos is amazing, always
Same... I also watch the unplanned podcast. 2 doggies but no babies 😅
Yep! Always love Matt’s videos and interested to hear his perspective. I love how Matt & Natt are a unit, having these conversations that align with their values and making it work. Great role models.
😂 I am
Hey so I had to re-upload this video because of a copyright issue. Very embarrassing. I’ll blame it on dad brain. Please be a friend and watch this video again so it doesn’t crap the bed and then share it with someone who it might help :)
Btw Nat’s working on cleaning up the baby spreadsheet I mention in the video (get getting links to everything). I’ll share that as a new pinned comment in less than 24 hours so check back here if you want that!
And don’t worry I didn’t lose any sleep over this because I don’t have any more sleep to lose :)
Congrats on the baby!
Haha will do, Matt 😂 as if I don't already watch your videos multiple times 👀
I was searching for this video.. i watched half video morning and planned to watch remaining later but suddenly disappeared 😂
👍🏻
You got it, boss!
It always cracks me up to see minimalist prepping for kids. I had my first kid at 21 years old, I was homeless and had no clue at all. I bought a few clothes from the flea market (the most colorful possible), made a few plushies and drapes with rags, and that was enough to be honest. At some point I bought a stroller when I had a home but a scarf is enough for the first few months.
And then I see minimalist people going through so much research and buying all those gadgets that they don't need and instead of just enjoying them, spend their time justifying their choice.
I think with babies you really don't need much and you can find things as you go, or get a hand me down from time to time.
And I have seen a comment of someone on this comment section saying for their first birthdays the parents asked for letters instead of gifts. I think that is a very beautiful idea.
I was thinking with the list "buy what you need as you go" - so if you're taking baby home in a car, get the carseat. Clothes I think they did fabulous with. Then just see what you need and want from there 😊
Same here! Wasn’t homeless but was 18 and broke. Didn’t need to buy anything but a few clothes and diapers until the baby was a little older
Yeah a LOT they had on their ‘need’ list were more ‘convenience/can't be bothered’ items.
This!!!
I'm watching this as my 5 month old sleeps on me (I'm 23) and this video is making me feel like an unintentional extreme minimalist 😂
So much in this is un-needed (bottles, pump, teats, dummies to name a few) just breastfeed bro
agreed. also they say their a minimalist but live in a big house haha. Not a big deal, but still
the Montessori approach is pretty minimalist for kids and it builds their independence and more importantly protects and builds their attention and concentration
I'm all for being a minimalist and decluttering and what-not, but at least do not be a sad beige parent. Let the kids have colors! Bright, vibrant colors! It really helps their development.
Yes! Have 4 onesies but let them be colorful! Let their toys be colorful! Their brains need color!
Firstly, there's enough bold colours in the natural world. In the past no plastic with unnaturally bright colours existed, so arguing that such colours are necessary for development as most "anti-beige parents" are, is not really truthful. If you look at the items they chose, they didn't pick only one colour for all items. In fact, all items had some colour, perhaps they were muted or matte. Or they had mainly wood with an accent of a bright colour (most lovevery toys are like that). There's still an abundance of freshness and colour with children, but you can still help curate it and keep it calm and not overwhelming for both you and the child.
I spent HOURS of my life examining the specific angles and shadows of my laced window sheer curtains, or the hardwood floors, or popcorn church walls. Having less means each item will be more thoroughly examined and more familiar. We had one single teether for a long time, and after we had an influx of multiple new ones, the familiar one remained the favourite. Same applied to plushies. Yes children can easily grow to love lots of items, and that's a part of parenthood, but the reality is there is an abundance of colour in our days even without excess and loudness. The most important for their good development are calm and composed parents as much of the time as possible, and while calm colours help children's nervous systems as well (since loud colours inherently mean danger - think of all the beautiful poisonous and venomous animals and plants) they can help parents achieve this state as well. A regulated parent means a better regulated kid and if less clutter (both in quantity and in visual clutter) helps get there, it's best to strive for it! :)
The most dysregulated as a parent I pretty much ever am is when there's too many and too loud things, and items/objects/activities I feel like I have to manage simultaneously seemingly mixed up all together. I'm pretty confident I'm not alone and there are countless of studies showing people's stress has a positive (rising) correlation with the amount of objects within their household - thus management. It also affects women on average worse.
Lastly for food of thought I'll add a random fun fact that hasn't yet been studied, I've been a much more calm regulated and joyous and safe driver in a country with only traffic signs and virtually no advertisement billboards that steer your attention away from the road constantly.
In our house, everything is neutral, so all the colorful kids toys are not overwhelming, but charming and happy.
Same. I hate clutter as well but there’s no need to give the baby 5x the same onesie! Most baby clothes are cotton and machine washable - she was solving a problem that didn’t exist. Why not have 5 differently colored onesies…? Children need some color.
I was looking for this comment. 😅
As a minimalist mom of 5 who also homeschools, I’ve learned kids don’t need premade toys. All my children love to read and start at age 5. They love to sing, dance, toss a ball in the living room and run around outside together making up games. They play piano, draw and write stories, and create their own toys out of whatever we have in the house. They don’t argue with each other much because instead of being territorial over stuff, they spend time working as a team to create games and their own toys to play with. It’s so much fun to see what they come up with!
How do you start this with the first child that still allows time for sleep and chores?
@@jessicaneal8553 Wake. up an hour before they do to start your day and I always napped with them during the day which gave me a little extra boost to do a bit after they go to sleep as well. Also I stopped expecting so much from myself. We have so much more time in the day then we think we do. It becomes more apparent as we continue to slow down and simplify life in all areas, not just the surface level ones.
@@Bonniebranch7 my kids hear that I'm awake and get up too- I'm glad this works for you, though! Thanks for the tips :)
My 3 older children (9,6,4) are usually up within the first 20 minutes of me waking up too 😅 The excitement of a new day and a moment with mommy is all they need to pop out of bed! But I encourage them to stay in their beds and ease their way awake by reading, journaling, drawing or just sitting there watching the sun rise and the world wake up through their window. They also get their clothes on, make their beds and brush their teeth/wash their face before they come out of their room so I can usually get a whole hour. They all also help with all the household chores, love to cook and bake as well with me so it never feels overwhelming. Hoping you can find your balance 🥰
you sound like an amazing mother
In terms of dropped food we have always had a Labrador vacuum system 😁
haha I have a terrier clean up service at my house
The roomba Labrador version is actually a life saver
Omg I can't live without the mutt vacuum. Sometimes it works so good it takes things I had meant to eat. 😅
My Beagle vacuum system is broken, only eats potatoes 🤔
The broke parent can WALK CIRCLES around minimalist parent…. Changing pad? A towel. Burp cloths? A towel. Swaddle? A towel. The food catchy? A towel on the floor. Blocks/stacking toys? Empty food/drink containers. Expensive sippy cup? Plastic cup with a straw. White noise machine? fan or heater on low, me humming, white noise on phone or tv.
This comment needs more attention! I love it. It’s so true that you can be “minimalist” and still consumer-minded. Babies need love, attention, and good hygiene.
PLS LOUDER
👏👏👏
Thats literally what i was thinking 😅 expensive baby carriers? 5 yards of fabric as a baby wrap
Yep. These trendy minimalists are so pretentious.
As a new parent I recommend buying the bare necessities and then slowly adding on as you learn your baby’s preferences. For example, my baby never liked pacifiers or swings. I would go on Reddit groups and forums to research anything new I planned to buy to confirm if it is worthwhile. I didn’t use the monitor because we ended up cosleeping.
I dont have kids, but how do u understand a baby preferences without trying them on? Like swings and stuff.
I totally agree. I never bought things that were considered “necessities” to others. No swaddles, no white noise machines, no baby monitors, etc. Waiting for each development stage, searching for it in forums, talking about it with our paediatrician and other parents and ending up buying things kind of “last minute “ and when absolutely needed. Each baby is so different, :)
Re-commenting: I am so happy you guys didn't give up on your values because they became harder. You and Nat are doing an amazing job. All kids need is love.
Dad of three here, I love how self-aware y’all are and the open willingness to learn as you go. That will help you so much more than you can imagine as your family grows and changes.
Also I can attest that common outfits for the first few months are game. changing. and you should give Nat a raise for that idea. 💯
I’m so impressed, wasn’t it like five years ago Nat was like the anti minimalist…. And now her turnaround is like “how can we make this work”
Yeah same! She still refuses to call herself a minimalist because the label doesn't resonate with her. And that honestly makes sense to me- it'd be like her using an American accent... something about it just doesn't feel right. But she has gotten much more intentional over the years with spending, clutter, work and relationships. And in the same way she's rubbed off on me and helped me to let go of my perfectionism, embrace a bit more chaos, and get out into the world more instead of being a hermit :)
thank you for this comment!
Since this is a re-upload, this is me re-commenting 😂
I love the baby capsule wardrobe and that food catcher thingy under the baby chair
You may have to have at least 2 toy boxes so you can do toy rotation 😊. Thanks for sharing your family experience!
Yes! Love the toy rotation!
You're the mvp.
As a mum with 3 adult young men I would have loved to know minimalism when they were young.. I loved this video and will try to instill it in my kids when they have kids of their own. This was a very thoughtful video Matt! And Frankie is sooooo adorable ❤
Oh my goodness, I’ve made fun of that Catchy thing for years 😂 Nat may have just sold me.
I have a catchy - it's called 2 dogs. We have to constantly remind our 20 month old "no dogs here" when eating in public.
I do like having various color shades of burp cloths, because it helps me keep track of which ones need washed when they end up scattered around the house. 😅
I wasn’t officially a minimalist mom, but all my babies really needed was me, diapers and wipes, clothes, a sling, stroller and car seat. My diaper bag was a small fabric purse that just fit three diapers, a pack of baby wipes and a folded up baby blanket. The blanket doubled as a change mat, burp cloth and spare emergency clothes. I especially hated bottle clutter - all the little components of bottles, bottle brushes, sterilizers, racks, etc. so I just didn’t use bottles or sippy cups ever. I breastfed my babies, coslept, and slingwore them and they had everything they needed. And with all the money saved on not buying that stuff, I didn’t have to work and was able to spend that much time with the babies in the first place. 😆
yea this "minimalist" list seemed too much even for someone that isnt a minimalist. all a baby needs is diapers/wipes, milk: formula (a couple of bottles)/breast, clothes, blankets, a safe travel method, and a safe place to sleep
Yesss!
A re-upload means a new comment: love the way you guys seem to be supporting each other, laughing together. Congrats! Parenthood is great.
Thank you :)
Something my mom did when I was young is similar to the bin idea. Kids usually find a couple favorite toys. She got tired of us having huge amount of toys and not playing with most of them. So she put them into storage bins and then every month would switch out a couple of toys. It stopped there from being a bunch of stuff but also entertained us, because we'd be excited about the "new" toys.
This is what we do with my niece and nephew with my brother and I's old toys at my parents, haha here's "new" toys from the 90s! (a box brought up from the basement)
I grew up a minimalist. When i was a kid my dad was a pilot in the air force. I had a small military looking trunk. And if it didnt fit i couldn't get it or take it. At least until i was in high school. We traveled all the time so i never felt poor or neglected. I definitely saw more and had more life experiences than most kids. This was through the 70s and 80s. Here i am at 56 years old and i am in nature still a minimalist living with a bunch of Maximalists. Ive learned to just deal with it.
Thank you for sharing I love hearing these type of minimalist stories. Shalom and blessings.
i love how you say "living with a bunch of Maximalists". So true. Sometimes i feel the pressure to follow what everyone else is doing, but I try to stay true and remember "things" aren't so important.
I freaking love this take. I BECAME a Minimalist when I became a mom. Was diagnosed with ADHD and realized I just can't handle extra. I need to have only a manageable (for me) amount of stuff, thoughts, responsibilities, and commitments.
Matt and Nat, I never comment on videos but felt compelled to this time. My husband and I are your age and just had our second kid (2yo and 4mo). We have been minimalists for 5 years now and I had the same concerns as you. It’s so possible to be a minimalist parent and you’re kicking butt!!! My best unsolicited advice is that you remember it’s not your job to “entertain” your child. They have plenty of resources in your home already to play with and really don’t need special stuff to be creative and learn. We’re cheering you on!
Yes totally love this and agree!
😂 the photos of me *in* the pot with the wooden spoon as a drumstick 😂😂
As a new parent- I agree with so much of this. Adding to the conversation, I would also so you don’t need to purchase all new things. Babies go through their different stages so fast so many things are only lightly used. Through friends/family and the buy nothing group on Facebook- we haven’t had to buy any clothes and very little books/toys for him. Anything that is given to us, we go through and pass on the extras we don’t need.
Being a sad beige parent is harmful to your child’s development. Color and variety is vital for your child’s growth and development. They absolutely need more colors! More shades and vibrant colors!!!
actually, that is only half tue. yes, kids need color, but the environment, nature has more than enough. 100 years ago there was no colorful Lego etc. On the contrary: too much color can produce overstimulation. You might want to keep colors of the bins that hold colorful toys calm ;)
@@sabrinas.6036 Agree with your comment. My mom was a minimalist “sad beige parent” in the 1980s (before such a term existed). In spite of this fact, we were encouraged to play outside A LOT and choose toys we enjoyed (no matter how colorful they were). We were given a limit to how many toys we could own and we would regularly do “audits” (my word, not hers) to reevaluate what toys we still loved and which toys we wanted to donate to other kids. Looking back, my brother and I tended to keep the toys that were “beige” and sentimental; the more colorful toys that were plastic, trendy, and transient tended to be the first we donated (and ended up being wasteful, not to mention potentially harmful to the environment). She instilled a profound sense of gratitude within us, not dissimilar to KonMari’s method of “thanking” the item before donating it. I feel a great sense of peace and comfort as an adult without feeling deprived, depressed, etc. I would recommend exercising caution against projecting one’s own trauma (or others’ imagined trauma) onto others. Let parents parent.
Neither my husband nor I are minimalists, but since becoming parents 18months ago, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by stuff. The more you have, the more you need to tidy, organize, wash etc. Decluttering and buying with purpose are now a priority.
Thank you for sharing your experience ! It is always inspiring to see how others "do it" :D
For gifts, my cousin asked that any gifts for their baby be books. It gave them a lot of variety to read, but items like that were easy to store.
As someone looking to start a family this year, this honest account of how to keep life simple for yourself as a new parent has been incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing!
One thing, don’t bother getting a bottle warmer, but get that snot sucking thing (name escapes me now)
We had a lot of hand-me-downs and the best thing about a second kiddo, being able to pass on the stuff when they outgrow
Nat is hysterical! Boundaries are essential with kids. Second hand clothes for kids is the way to go. Good for you to scale back Matt. You will never regret it! It does go by quickly. It’s been 28 years… I loved every bit of raising my son… even the difficult times.❤❤
did Not expect that clip of Kelly in the ice bath 😂😂😂 INCREDIBLE video as always Matt!!
This is one of your most thoughtful videos you have put together in a long time. You can tell how much love and care you are putting into becoming a father. There is so much life and philosophy unlocked from life when you become a parent!
When I first had my baby we didn't have a washer and dryer. Getting them made life WAY easier. Stuff matters, just not all stuff.
The production quality of this video is *chefs kiss* Thank you!
Re-uploaded? I'll watch again!
Legend!
Frankie is an absolutely precious, beautiful baby. Wishing you all the wonderful things I know you'll make happen as a family. I love your re-imagination of priorities!
Thank you! He's my favorite person.
We donated to our local pregnancy care centre a bunch of gifts we received that we didn’t need. I totally agree with not keeping the stuff out of obligation when another family could use it (and might be pumped to receive it!).
Also, The Minimal Mom is a great proof that it is possible to be minimalists with young kids (I think her four kids were ~2-7 years old when she discovered minimalism).
Matt - you should write a book on our journey through Minimalism into Parenthood.
And he should do the narration for the audio book version!!
Love all of this! I feel like the gift conversation is really tricky, and I appreciate your perspective on it. And yes, while it's easy to just shove things into the back of a closet, it's better that they get used! Even if that means donating it is another thing on the to-do list.
We aren't perfect with gifts and we aren't as strict as some others. If someone gives us a hand woven blanket with his name inscribed, we're not going to toss it. But even if you make the "tough" decision 90% of the time, you're going to significantly reduce the amount of clutter in your home.
Love the video! I was able to be a minimalist with 7 kids. It is able to be done. I actually became a minimalist as a new parent in 2005, before there was really a name for it. The kids have loved our simple life and I am grateful I made those changes when I did.
Amazing! I actually come from a family of 7 kids!
@@mattdavella Oh wow! what a neat coincidence!
I love the video's cinematography and style. One can really feel that you've gone back to your roots, working alone and putting your personal touch in every step of production.
These are some awesome tips for trying to stay at least a bit more minimalistic while having a kid.
Is there a reason for keeping most items in more toned down pastel/brown colors?
I've heard several arguments both for and against doing that, how ot may affect the kid's creativity etc.
I don't think it impacts kid's creativity at all. Sticks and rocks are the same color and they seem to get really creative with thoaw. Plus there are lots of colors out in the world that our son doesn't need bright colored cups, bowls and spoons.
Such a great video! I’m 34 wks and this couldn’t have come at a better time as I’ve been trying to stay focused on the important items for us. So far we’ve been sticking to it and I feel calmer about it🙌🏽
Baby items are so commercially overwhelming and I can see how people’s houses become cluttered - not something I’m interested in! As you said, you’re busy enough with the basics of parenting, let alone tripping over additional unnecessary things.
You guys are doing amazing! Thanks again for your valuable time to share with us!
I love this video. We take a minimalistic approach to parenting. Our daughter just turned 1 years old. Over these past 12 months, I stored away things in our closet that others gifted to us that just didn’t work for our family or things we purchased that we ended up not using. Now I’m making gift boxes full of these goodies and will be passing them along to expecting families.
We’re saving items for future little ones as well and your storage solution is genius. Thanks for sharing that. I just felt this video was super relatable. It matches our aesthetic and philosophy as parents that many people around us do not understand.
The Catchy sounds like a wonderful idea. I was skeptical, but this video changed my mind. I feel seen and appreciated!
You opened the solid foods cupboard and all i could see was $$$$. High end products beautifully sorted by purchasing organizational products.
Just looking at books on minimalism. Then saw this on my main page. Love you. You’re one of my first creators I loved and still love as I protect creators. Love this new phase of your life. As a mom to a 13 and 5 year old welcome to the best part of life, being a parent. ❤
Thank you! :)
@@mattdavella oh you made my day! Even though I am a creator I still get tickled to hear from my favorite creator. I love my fellow UA-camrs, it never gets old because I know how much effort it takes to comment and do everything else with your channel and being a dad!
The looooong awaited video and it didn't disappoint 😜10/10 for that attention to detail at 00:39 with projectile vomiting. Adding those chunks in there too was just a cherry on top 😆
This might be too much information but the recipe was 4 parts almond milk and 1 part low fat mayonnaise.
@@mattdavella hahah nice, thank you. I'm sure this will come in handy!
I absolutely love the editing and all the creative shots you've taken!! The spilled vomit, the conversation between you and Nat, the humor, I loved all of it!!
Thank you! :)
POV: All the minimalist moms who have been talking about this for years 👀 😂
😁💖
@AtoZenLife you are an inspiration to us all! ❤😄
It is slightly different though. Matt is starting from being a minimalist - which is a huge part of his identity.
Most of the mums on here started the process after having children. Becoming minimalist because of the overwhelming amount of stuff the came with children.
Super helpful, Matt. Thanks for posting. With two kids and a third on the way, I’m constantly trying to figure out what to eliminate. As a stay-at-home dad, removing the unnecessary has been essential to making this crazy life a little less complicated. It’s a tough battle but definitely worthwhile. Thanks for adding value to my life!
When my daughter was born, it really changed my minimalist life. I can totally relate. This video is very helpful Matt!
Loved this and we were the same. Like Marie kondo it became more difficult with each kid. And what's hardest is gate keeping what everyone around you wants to gift. Everyone is excited to buy things for the baby and you don't want to crush their joy. Still, it's a worthy goal and it's good to keep purging as they grow.
As a parent of 2 teenage boys (both on the verge of leaving the nest), less toys is better!!! Less toys = more creative play.
I became more minimal when i had 3 kids. I was overwhelmed and stressed. I became 30 years old and realised i needed to let go of the things that didnt serve me. 1 year in i had my 4th baby. Bringing baby items into my home after literally getting rid of all baby things was a fresh start. (We didnt plan a 4th baby but she came and was a blessing). It actually gave me a fresh look on what was really needed. We had conversations with family and friends about gifts and they were very understanding. (Plus they all assumed we still had everything previously). We bought second hand clothing and a baby wrap and that was pretty much it. We had a crib which we hardly used. It felt much calmer when she was born and felt we had more time for her than we did with our previous kids. Minimalism is great for everyone over all. Great video.
Congrats on Frankie! and this video was so awesome! This was so relatable!
Felt so understood!! Especially with your section about work. I turned down a few promotions and a bunch of side opp. to be more present with the family.
Love, love, love the process you both took to figure this out together!
Years ago I found your channel. I always appreciated your videos showing how choosing minimalism can affect your life. I’ve been looking forward to seeing how you worked minimalism into this stage of your life. Thanks for sharing!
I think you’re both doing a wonderful job! You’ll be able to handle baby #2, if you choose to go down that path. The first years can feel the most exhausting, especially if it’s your first time experiencing all of this. Not to say it’s not tiresome the second time around, but you have a better idea of what to expect, so things can feel a bit easier.
Can’t wait for that dang spread sheet. Also the one type of outfit idea is GENIUS!
Working on it! :D
Congratulations on your little one!! So adorable ❤ I currently have a four year old and a one year old. We have more than one box of toys, but we don’t have crazy amounts. The children share a small toy shelf, plus my little boy has Lego and puzzles (only as many as fit in one box), and I have a small cupboard shelf with toys in that I rotate out. And it’s plenty, even with my children being with me all day. We’ve got crayons and paper and stickers, we’ve got books which they adore, and they play outside a tonne. And I know people who do great with less than we have too. No dramas. You’ll do great - it’s all so much fun 💜💜💜 (Minimal Mom UA-cam channel is the GOAT for this kind of stuff)
As a mom of 6, I’ll say this. Minimalism can make your life a LOT more work. You have to figure out what number of baby blankets, bibs, outfits etc that makes your life easy and how many is too many. There were several times I tried to have less and it made my life harder. There’s a fine line between having to wash things every second because you only have 4 bibs and having too many cuz babies poop, spit up and drool allll the time😂 My first son spit up for an entire year. He often got 2-4 outfits soaked every day. So it was well worth it to me to have more clothes so I wasn’t literally waiting for the spit up soaked baby bibs, blankets and sleepers to wash and dry while my baby was naked.
It's so true that the stuff only helps about 10%. I found when I had more children, the less and less stuff I brought with me into each new season of parenthood. I have about 10 things I pulled out of storage for my 4th baby.
Having support and community from friends and family or hired help can do so much more, since as you said, being a parent is just so much effort and work, being physically and emotionally present, being there with your baby. I can see the love you have for each other, having a family is such a beautiful part of life! Loved this video!
As an adult, I love the color palette of his toys. Not sure if it’s good for kids or not but I do love how it’s not overwhelming 😊
Another brilliant breakdown! You guys actually did what we thought we were going to do (capsule wardrobe) but we got all our clothes as hand-me-downs so it was kind of hard to justify buying all new stuff. Love the toy bin though, hell yeah.
minimalism is great but please don't remove color from the child's life. Interacting and engaging with various colors is important for development.
Agree 100%
Very 👍 true
Solution- books- lots of books and libraries are great because you don’t have to store them. Also going places. Like museums children’s parks etc
Not that our home isn't colorful (cause we like it that way) but I mean don't kids see color all the time because the world is colorful anyway? They're not inside their crib/home all day anyway, so why does the decor and furniture matter that much?!
@@palestblue the place they spend the most time in is their home. I guess it would look a bit boring if it was all grey... 😕
We have a baby girl of 10 months and just realised that we are minimalists by force ahah. I related so much with this video. We are nomadic, from Portugal, currently in Brazil and you can only travel with so much, so a lot of things you did at home we do while traveling. For example a limited number of toys, limiting the grandparents toy gifts, spending much more time with them and less money on things.
So far its working really well.
Yes being a parent is super challenging, we also have serious doubts about the second as this one is already SO HARD!!!
One thing you inspired me to do (as an entrepreneur) is to rethink what I really love to do and cut the rest, rethink how I work to remove the stress I feel with work being left behind.
Again, probably the video I related the most so far, thank you for that, I hope you keep sharing your journey.
The photo of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson 😂👌
Not sure if you read The Bin Chicken book but it honestly deserves a Pulitzer Prize lol.
Every time I picked up our baby I would check it still brought me joy 😉
Great video! I love the idea of the capsule wardrobe outfit for the first few months. When my baby was little I just used a color scheme for his clothes so every top matched with every bottom and dressing him was so easy.
I've got my 2nd kid on the way and a 3 year old already. We've found a great balance of selling stuff when needed and keeping the essentials. It's a balance of keeping things fun for kids but not "imposing" minimalism to my kid.
Absolutely! Trying to indoctrinate our kids or SO's into minimalism isn't the way to go.
Funny thing is, the less toys we have around, the more playful my kids are! The less clothes we buy for them, the more we can choose the few we do buy so they're all favorites they love to dress in. But throwing their stuff out is not the way to go. Best is bringing less stuff in
Loved the advice to simplify and to adjust how we view minimalism as parents! I'll look forward to seeing a revamped video once Frankie is a little older. For us, toddlerhood has brought new challenges and much joy, and our house is still organized despite the chaos. I love seeing the comments on how people with more than one child are still able to practice minimalism.
True, the two things can hardly go together, even if you try it can't be the same as when you live on your own/with one partner
I loved the video, but I don't understand the "Try being a minimalist with kids" discussion in the first place.
After all, you are adding another human being to your household when you have kids. Of course they need some stuff. The 100-200 items they added is probably way less than each of the parents own (including personal things, household stuff and hobby/work equipment). If Matt and Natalie got a flatmate instead, he/she probably would have brought way more stuff into their shared space.
And yes, one of the challenges with kids is that they are changing and developing way faster than adults, so you have to bring in new stuff and declutter more frequently. At times it can be hard to stay on top of it, and your house definitely won't be instagram perfect. But you don't have to fit into the minimalist aesthetic to be a minimalist.
This is beautiful! I love that last bit about the importance of setting boundaries with your kids. We are the parents, not them, and so while you love them and care about how they feel, ultimately you prioritize shaping them into well rounded, happy adults.
“Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; but increase comes by the strength of an ox.” If it's beneficial to you it's worth the "mess" it makes. Keep what is useful and/or beautiful and let go of the rest. Being more hardcore than this for the sake of being hardcore turns from Minimalism to Asceticism- you can't win the game until you're life is absolutely terrible. 😅❤ -Mom of 3
So cute that you literally have a shelf area for all his cutlery and plates and cups!!!! So freakin cute!!!
Currently pregnant & have 108 things on my list. I’ve been slowly downsizing (my stuff) what I already have in my home (before baby is here) when I have energy.
Hey I saw the giraffe toy you have for your kid in the video and I don’t know if you used it just for a prop but those things can contain mold within them because it’s hard to clean or dry inside. It get more mold in narrower space it has inside.
Great the first time and the second! Loved this one
New minimalist parent here! A couple hacks that might help fellow parents: Sterilizing or heating a baby bottle takes a minute or three, you don't need special equipment for it. You can use an old phone on airplane mode and Spotify instead of a white noise machine. You don't need to baby proof your house, just get a playpen or put them in the crib to play (if it's big enough). You don't need special spoons or bowls, our baby just uses a metal spoon and a plastic bowl/tupperware. You can use unused milk storage bags to freeze and fresh food portions for your baby. Placing a big burp cloth under your baby whilst they feed will also catch all the food. Everything that's new and colorful is a toy to your kid.
I don’t see what minimalism has to do with a lack of colour. I’m really not trying to be hateful here. It is DO vital for even newborn babies to be exposed to bright and stimulating colours. It’ll help with their curiosity and development! Please, please take this into account. Your aesthetic preferences should not take priority over this
As a 2nd yr psycn student, i was shocked to learn colours are important for their development... so cool
As a nervous system regulation specialist it's important to note that humans evolved in a natural space (think lots of browns, greens and occasional pops of colors in certain seasons) and that bright colors or excess colors are overstimulating for children and can cause an excessively high threshold for visual stimulation.
@@sabrinajoyable hi, that’s a good point! New to me. Do you have any word on other child development professionals claiming otherwise?
I'm so happy for you guys and your little guy! Thanks for talking about this topic and being so transparent about how parenting DOES change you. Minimalism does look different as a parent, BUT minimalism has helped me so much just to even keep my sanity. My son has tons of toys, but I keep it to a manageable amount and it is a lot of maintenance. My daughter has a ton of shoes and that is her right and they aren't all over the house. I don't push my minimalism on my kids, but use it as a tool to be a more organized and calm parent. It's not all or nothing with most things in life. Sounds like you guys are using minimalism as your tool. I wish you all the best as Frankie continues to challenge and bless you both.
I think that with kids its best to be a “maximalist” (or just a regular family) in their core developmental years, so they really get to experience all the nuances of everything and don’t miss out on stuff. but as you get to their teen years, and they gain more independence (i.e. they could get on fine for maybe 2-3 days without your presence) thats the time when you are free to go back to the minimalism you so desperately crave. At that point it’s basically a precursor of retirement 😂
I somewhat disagree. Being a "maximalist" is what you mean, buying them small meaningless toys every time you leave the house and accepting every gift from relatives until the room is jam-packed with enrichment they will never see. My mom is like this. Her new kid (age 5) is spoiled and throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. Or, how she raised me was maximalist and then suddenly minimalist at age 7. She wanted me to get rid of all my shit and sell it. She wasn't really minimalist, she just wanted drug money, but yeah.
There needs to be a balance between mental stimulation and teaching the kid value in what they own. There is a fine line between that and making your kid fucked up.
This video gives me hope ! Truly. I don’t have a child yet but seeing all the parents overwhelmed with stuff scared me. Now I know it’s actually possible not to. THANK YOU.
You work for 40yrs to have $1M in your retirement, meanwhile some people are putting just $10K in a meme coin from just few months ago and now they are multimillionaires.❤️
she's always active on Whats'akp
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I'm not a parent, but I have worked in preschool and I think books are a great way to channel loved one's gift giving impulses. They're great for brain development, and bonding time. Plus, when your child gets a little older, they're going to be semi-consumable: they get destroyed by drool, food, pages ripped out, etc, so having multiple copies of a favorite book will be good.
Why re-upload?
You guys are doing great! It'll get better, this is just a season. At least that's what I'm telling myself with a 3 and 2 year old while trying to keep our lives as minimalist as possible
Visit a single poor mother with a baby and you'll learn that minimalism works just fine with kids because she has no money for *unnecessary items*. It's the people who have the money to spend, overthink that a child under one truly needs 10 different pajamas if he vomits.
I love this video. We been through the exact same struggles and its amazing that someone summarized so well for us. UNTIL we recently had our second child... upside, we finally dont need to hold back on things we were saving, downside, there are two of them and i literally almost have to declutter me eating food out of the schedule :' ) let alone the time it takes to be thoughtful of what to donate and organize, but we do make it a priority whenever we have a bit of free time. I also donated something i thought i didnt need at the time but turns out actually needing it the next week. So it was sprinting to the grocery store n get it back for me. However, i would say *trying* to stay minimalistic not only make me more cautious and mindful, but also a lot more creative. In the end of the day, it makes me enjoy parenting so much more. I would 100% recommend minimalism to any parents who are on the fence about it :)
2:45 KELLLLLYYYYYYYYYY
Id love that spreadsheet too
catching strays
aaaah someone recognized him too *A*/
@@arnenoori I've been assured he is in fact a nice guy so my sincere apologies to this gentleman.
I don't have kids, I am definitely not a minimalist by any means, & I honestly have no idea why I even clicked this video aside for sheer curiosity... But I stayed for the actual REAL content, and the fact that you guys don't bleep out words like "shit" and "fuck". Thank you for being raw, honest and real. I had no reason to stay aside for both of you just being actual, normal, humans, and I'm here for it. THANK YOU FOR ACTUAL CONTENT.
Sincerely, from a kidless, mess of a human-being. ♥
PLEASE get that kid some COLOR 👏
ITs so important to their development
As a grandmother this is a fantastic video! Thank you and blessing on your new baby boy! 🩵
As a childcare worker, please don’t limit your child to one bucket of toys, children need diversity in toys as they stimulate different types of the brain and help develop different areas of development. Children also need exposure to different colours as that helps develop colour recognition. I completely understand minimalism for adults and agree with it and frankly you can limit the amount of baby stuff you have but when it comes to toys, you should be very careful.
Looks like they have a Lovevery subscription. They are toys from newborn to age 4 that come in every 3-4 months with devel appropriate toys. You can even mix and match from previous packs to keep things run.
This is exactly what the toy industry what’s you to believe. Kids really just need the outdoors and basic open ended toys like blocks and balls and dolls. They need to use their imagination and real things like dirt and water and grass and outside etc to really learn and grow and thrive. Read the book 1000 hours outside
@@erinmosey3439 totally agree. also kids learn to make their own toys from sticks and rocks and random bits. This teaches way more creative and resourcefulness than toys ever could.
@@luciavasquez1234yes exactly! I remember being outside all the time and pretending to cook with the plants and flowers in the backyard, I would have a pot and spoon from the kitchen and would pick the plants and stir them around lol
Or just going outside ?
Would love an updated video as your sweet little man grows i.e. managing larger toys, your child's interests, etc. in a way that embraces simplicity. Well done to you both.
You might not see this but pleaseeee get kids lots of toys it’s not waste of money or being practical… it really help there development and make them curious about how things work also most importantly teach them about attachment, I still remember the toys I had and still makes me happy thinking about them
This is the video I've been waiting for for over 3y when my own baby was born 😅 thank you! Juggling the ins/outs of stuff and clothes to me feels like (yet another, never ending!) ft job, so glad you mentioned that! 🙏
Unlitmate minimalist with kids is being poor
As a new mom myself who was very career driven, I very much resonate with your comments on minimalism in work after having a child. Thank you for this!
it's giving sad beige baby
I kind of think that might be why the baby enjoys the manual...cause of the colors. I don't think he looks sad though, but it may be worth considering adding some colorful toys.
@@somomm733 colours are essential to babies development
I had a good giggle at the end when you were talking about the toddler parents screaming at the screen. Were in a tiny house and for the first 1.5 years of our boys life he had a little book shelf that held ALL of his toys. Then we did a covered deck extension to give us some much needed additional space and now our boy (and his future sibling) has a ikea kallax 8 space toy shelf plus a little wooden play kitchen to house all his toys. You'll definitely need more stuff but you'll bring your minimalism to toddler life too and comparatively to other toddler parents who have bins and bins of crappy super noisy toys, you'll be minimalists! What is minimalism anyway, minimal comparative to what? There's no hard and fast rules
it's giving sad beige
rightt, like I get only 6 outfits but atleast let them be ddifferent. I bet the parents have loads of clothes.
I have seen 10000000 ads for Squarespace and this one is the best + most innovative one that I didn't wanna skip.
Babies are very low maintenance, you don’t need 90 % of these things