12 Signs That He's Playing Mind Games With You
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- Опубліковано 28 лип 2024
- NEW SUMMER 2024
Ryan now offers self-guided online courses to help women of ANY age crush those single streets FASTER and more efficiently!
Check out his course offerings here: www.boyfriendblueprint.com/co...
In this video, dating coach Ryan Patrick identifies 12 signs that he's playing mind games with you, why he's playing them and how to stop him from playing mind games in the future.
*NEW SUMMER 2024*
I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂
Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
Except when you are dealing with a narcissist. Narcissist will act very interested, and they will act like they are the one for you. Then after they know they have you hooked. They will play mind games and be very manipulative.
Been there and done there. Never again. Those kind of narcissistic sucks! I hate that.
Ms. Smith yep! Exactly that’s why I went rogue on half of social media and disconnect internet at home. I don’t trust him at all.
Exactly what happened to me
Amen!
This is what exactly what happened to me. At first he treated you like queen and give you the world...then everything just fell apart and he makes you feel it’s all your fault...Why on earth would people do this to someone in love with them💩
Adopt a cat or dog from a shelter! You'll be much happier
👍👍👍👏👏👏👏
🐶🐱🐱🐱👍👍👏🙏💖♥️💖🙏
This comment right here 🙌🏼
👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍👍🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Amen!!!!
agree
This is why it's better staying single. Too many headaches.
Julie Nielsen i wish i was still single
Amen
Amen to that 🙌🏻
Definitely!
Amen to that 🙌
Best advice I was EVER given " actions speak louder than words ". If he's interested he will act if not walk away.
I just told mine those words. He played the game, then ghosted me a week later.
No great loss as far as I’m concerned.
@@LexiconDevilOne yes
True. No one is too busy for something/someone they want or are interested in
@@LexiconDevilOne they are not mature, or just want to play and get attention from you. Move on
Yup
NEVER tell ANYONE how many people you’ve slept with. This is your business and no one else’s
The best way to date is to start out as friends. People are more honest in friendship settings.
What my mother and her girlfriend says “never chase a man” and relationship coaches “Mathew Coast and Helena Hart” goes in depth of hour long video of certain subjects. They talk about biology differences in males and females with psychology backing it up.
"I have options" pffttt boy bye, so do I.
100%
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌
@Colleen From NH yesss😁👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@Colleen From NH You'd be surprised how easy that is.
When guys used to play The distance games I used to send them one message that got them right real quick.
I would hit them with that "It was nice meeting you. I hope you find what you were looking for."
They would always text back "what you mean" like they didn't know what they were doing! Boy I MEAN BYE!
Then I would drop them. I don't play those games.
Oh my gosh this happened to me lols
Girl you are the best that's what I'm talkin about teach them bitchs what's up lol 🤣🤣 🤣
I love it Good for you 😊
That is classy yet to the point! Thank you:)
Think I need to use this!! You are an absolute star and game changer, should av used it 7 days ago, go girl xxxxx
When they call and never really takes you out. And tells you he is not ready because he has been hurt before. RUN for the hills.!!!!!
That just happened to me. The one time I opened up 😕
Why should I run
Teresa Burress if you like pain, then don’t run.
But if he ask but I denny it will he feel like I played mind game with him??
Haha right! He needs to heal before he can truly start anew!
Do (some) guys just have a club where they get together and think of ways to act like f*cking children
Yes they do.
Mauser 96 This is the most incredibly bitter, Incel-ey thing I’ve ever had the privilege of reading. It seems like you speak to hear yourself and not to listen so sure buddy. You’re 100% right and not at all a tad delusional.
Of course they do it's called the" HE MAN WOMAN HATERS CLUB"🤣😆... Founded by the Little Rascals 🤣
Yes they do, it's called: "Manchild club."
I literally laughed out loud. So true
The best advice I can give younger women (I'm 57 and single) is: Pretend you only have 2 years left to live. Is the guy your with or dating really making you happy and caring for you in a way you need. If not, move on! Oh and if single and looking, NEVER and I mean NEVER date only 1 guy at a time. Date several while deciding who is really good to you and for you. It often takes a few months for some one's character to come through. Going slow, never hurt anyone. I didn't say sleep with them. Take time to build a friendship/foundation with the prospect of sizzling sex tingling around. YUM
Use this advice and you'll end the same way. Spin multiple plates and you will end with none in the end.
Some of us are hopeless romantics so when we are into one man, we block out all others. The European way, we don't "date" multiple people.
@@dd-sl4ev Thats very unfortunate. You can do that while you're young but if you still chase assholes in your 30s and 40s things will start to look rough overall in your life.
YES GIRL!! THE OLDER WE GET THE WISER!! THEY CAN NOT PLAY OLDER WOMEN WITH HIGH SELF RESPECT!!
Thanks mom
The silent treatment, is usually the sign he is cheating, specially when he picks a fight, and not available on Fri. Night usually seals that deal.
Dee Dee Bico well we have the same ex 🤣🤣🤣
Don't forget Saturday night too!🤣
I had an ex who did this
Yup... Almost Every guy I've dated. So depressing and hurts sitting alone, while they don't show up, or randomly take off.
And has a wife.
On behalf of all men good men ( gay guy here ) I apologize you go through this ! But there are good men out there , keep your standards up and take care of yourself and don't settle for non sense , prince charming will come if it's meant but always take care of you ❤️💯
Love this!
Lo 94 Sometimes it seems like all the good guys are already married or gay or both😂
I've never met a good man 🤔🤣🤣🤣🤣
I absolutely agree! Any bad experience can't put mě off from man, no way. I am patiently waiting for The ONE.
Thank you for this! ❤ Reading this gave me a bit more hope :).
this is why im in a relationship with myself, im always there for me when i need me, i got fed up with all the mind games i left my player in the playground where he belong now he can play as much as he wants boy bye. Good luck ladies
Jesus Christ. I feel stupid now. My gut told me. I didn't listen. He did almost all of these things.
Don't feel bad love.sometimes u will only realise these things when u r out of it.Just be thankful u r not with him anymore.
Not stupid, just in love
I let everything going on for 8 YEARS. Im only 21 can not believe i wasted almost half of my life on this
Likewise. I caught on after three years. Run!!!!
We've all been there😳😕
The larger the ego the lower the self esteem = games + pain
So very true!!
@Amelia : Dear I am so sorry for u. , u have to go through all of this .
I want to tell u that u r a strong woman . hats off and salute to ur strength and wisdom just stay happy live life as it is , focus on career , earn better income , stay healthy and guess what in that time period ur Prince charming will be there with you . Have faith in God , he will take care of everything 💜😇🙏
@@Gianni.chellini - thank you so much for your positive message 🌟😊
Hahahahah so true 😒
Very well said
When a guy says I love you then asks for naked pictures 😂🤦🏼♀️ “Bye”
Goodbye👋
😀
If it feels like he's not being honest....he's not. Simple. Walk away. A man in love acts like he's in love. You are 150% on the money with the silent treatment and acting indifferent to issues = misery and run now.
My red flag was his inability to ask deeper follow-up questions about me. I would listen and get to the bottom of whatever was bothering him but every time he asked me how I was and I told him my problem, he would just say ''I hope you solve it.'' And that was that.
Sometimes it's kinda fun to watch guys trying to trick u via these mind games. Just let them do whatever they want to do and observe. Time will tell everything u need to know.
🙌🏻🙌🏻
This! Give it time they always show their true colors. 🤷♀️
karma or the universe or whatever u want to call it will take care of that narcisstic ass. 4-5-21 thank the God above.
I noticed one interesting thing. People (mostly manipulators and players) usually decieve themselves thinking if you are nice, polite and warm type of person that it also means you are stupid and easy to take advantage of.
Dear emphats, use your gift as your weapon. Keep your guard up, trust your instincts and let manipulators show who they really are. Don't take their games personal, because they are self-centered and they will play games with everyone. That's what they are and what they do. Your aspiration for understanding, caring and giving focuse on things that are actually worthy. If you catch yourself in situations @Ryan Patrick explained, the worst thing you can do is to prove your empathy to players even more. They will get exactly what they wanted. Your energy sucked - their ego boost. Paradoxally, you will prove your value and strenght just by ignoring them and moving on.
Omg thanks!
Please watch videos from Mathew Coast and Helena Hart on UA-cam, they go in depth of biology differences in males and females with psychology backing it up, I advise you to look them up.
Examples of mind games I've experienced:
1. He says, "I'm not about scheduling dates, prefer to go with the flow" (aka..looking for someone who dates around his schedule)
2. Name calling, then saying you're sensitive and lack a sense of humor.
3. Taking forever to respond to texts but getting upset when you don't immediately respond.
sounds like a fuckboi
OMG 😱 my ex got upset at me because I didn't text him all week. He said "you probably just don't like me or love me huh" and takes along time to answer.
I don’t ask any woman out. If she’s interested she’ll have to show me interest. If she don’t I just move on
I dated a few like this. I am now with someone who does not do these
Good luck with that
Another mind game is when he leaves you for a long period of time and randomly comes back into your life when he is ready, he makes you feel like you are the one but then he just disappears, then comes back. The relationship is literally riding on your attention and your love. I stayed in a situation where this would happen every few months. I poured out my heart to this person time and time again and I love them unconditionally. I knew that there was so much going on, and I stayed because it seemed that we were in the same boat, but we were just two ships in passing. I wish no harm on this person, but it is hurting me to allow it to happen anymore. Actually typing it on such a public platform made me realize just how sadly naive I was behaving. Good intentions, just a little misled.
All is well though I "believe" the other person may love me, but just didn't know how to love me the way I need to be loved, and that's ok, everyone is growing at there own pace.At least this is how I choose to make peace with the situation. forgive the other person completely, but that chapter is done, and the book is finished. I'm starting a brand new book now.
Just because you are in love gives no excuse to stay in a situation that is not what you need.
That was a very hard love lesson that is still an upward steep hill climb. I learned what unconditional love feels like and how to love unconditionally. I was able to recognize the unconditional love that was already around me. Learning how to let go of the thing I thought I needed to survive, helped me be able to let go of anything else that I needed to let go of too. I did survive.
It is not a crime to realize that something or someone is not for you, and every break up doesn't have to be hatred. when you let go of a certain mentality that you used to have you have to also let go of Somethings that you attached yourself to while you were in that mindset.
It doesn't mean it was bad of that either person was bad or even that the situation itself was bad. It just wasn't for you.
Sometimes we can work so hard to fit together pieces that just don't fit properly. It's ok to grow apart. ❤
I wrote this from a place of strength to encourage someone who needs it one day, but I was at a very dark place until I realized these things. It wasn't easy, but I kept my faith in God until I developed an understanding and/or more wisdom. If I can find peace and happiness. I know that someone else will too.
Needed this today
Best excuse I ever had was that he couldn’t meet me on Saturday night because he was cleaning his lounge carpet.
😂😂😂 that's awful!! 😭😭
And by "lounge carpet" he means toupee???😉
😂😂😂
Oh that’s a good one!
or like he said to me " theres is no internet " i am on jail 😝😜😂
Only way to win the game is : not playing it.
Great comment
When the man cancels date night twice you know he's not realy into you.
Yes. Someone I was into, cancelled three times. Then we starded talking again. He seemed to be really interested. Kept saying that we should meet, but did not do anything. Now I moved on
Omg same, got it 3 times from a guy lmao. He is a douche
This COvid 19 shutdown is very challenging on dating relationships
So true, it broke mine up. Yet he stays in touch an I'm not strong enough to cut him off altogether, even though I know its what needs to happen. He does initiate contact, I deleted his number so I wouldn't be tempted to contact, an within 24hrs he text me for 5hrs. We're still in touch, but we shouldn't be 😒
@Digital Diva then u are better off without him. You are a beautiful person an worth so much more. I've told my ex not to get in touch now, it was breaking my strength an moving forward xxx
Good
@Suddenly Possible 😂😂😂
7. "I have option game"
8. His insecurities becomes yours.
9. He keeps you away from your world.
10. He rarely compromise
11. He shuts down easily.
12.
Lol..
Ask me my ring size on the second date..
Red flag..
Test time. Does he mean what he says. Take you to see the ring size. Don't have sex, conversate on the phone. No texting. Does he live alone,or with someone. Does he have his own? How is he when he is mad? Is he stingy,selfish, inconsiderate? Is he emotionally available. Test him!
Does he gamble,smoke,drink? Can he keep a job? Does he know God or is he an atheist?
"There you go again. Always reading into something." When I asked for clarification on a text statement to make sure I was understanding what he was communicating. Yes, I dumped in. He was emotionally unavailable and blamed everything on something but himself
Girl same the guy I was dating for 3 weeks kept telling me “your worrying is turning me
Off” yet we would have great dates but I hardly ever heard form him all week and a totally different vibe from him so he left and I’m like “take care!”
If a guy doesn't introduce you to his friends or family after 3 months..." hes married"
Or a big time player.
Patricia Oetzel 3 months is too soon for family!!
@@cheleamerica1st87 It's not. Depends how much time do you guys spend together.
Not if he's a narcissist it won't last to go that far to family, only friends.
@@givegodthanks He can introduce you to his family and friends and still play games. Trust me.
An early red flag of mind games in my last relationship was that he would often leave my messages unanswered for many hours. This is in the context of a committed relationship... where he told me I was on his mind every second of the day and would often send me loving, emoji filled texts... but on some days he would leave my 'good morning.. I love you' message unanswered for 12+ hours even though he read it and was 'online' most of that time. Throughout the course of our relationship he fluctuated between idealising and devaluing me... the mind games escalated to creating jealousy, accusing me of things, tracking my phone etc.. it may seem benign to some, but leaving my msgs hanging like that was the earliest sign that I was dealing with a deeply insecure person that would resort to mind games as a way to control and manipulate me.
This hits home for me..
Dealing the same mind games
Wow I’ve just ended a situationship with a man like this. I feel so much better already.. it’s not even been a day. Bye boy ✋
Dealing with this right now, sometimes he's quick to reply, sometimes he'll just seen it and reply after a couple of hours
Lol my coworker and I were supposed to go on a date and when I texted him to confirm he left my message unanswered for hours and I found out he was replying to a group chat for work. He’s “ so busy” . I’m glad I’m not the only one that picks these things up. He has other red flags too.
This is why you don’t let in any man into your life because men are players .my wall is up and not that easy to come down. Haven’t find the one to bring it down. Straight up
It's a number of things that I've experienced. No matter how long it takes, they always change once they figure you're comfortable. They flake or begin to make you jealous. It's almost like clockwork, honestly. ⏰
Yeah why is that ? I need answers lol
True that! I was all set for a guy and he started behaving too comfortably around me. 😶 After a few days I said I am not ready for this relationship.
Right... every man does that
'Love bombing' you ("oh, you're so great and I just love everything about you and want to be in a serious relationship with you right away, "); but then after he feels he's got you locked down, he starts doing a lot of the stuff you mentioned and pulling away. Part of the love bombing includes showering you with gifts, saying I love you too soon, wanting to talk to you all the time from practically day one....there are a lot of things included....then starts backing off just as fast and you will start seeing signs he's on to the next victim.
Yessss!!!!
What my mother and her girlfriend says “never chase a man” and relationship coaches “Mathew Coast and Helena Hart” goes in depth of hour long video of certain subjects. They talk about biology differences in males and females with psychology backing it up.
Exactly
Went on The best date with a guy, we really had a good time, we talked everyday after that and he told me he really liked me and wanted to see me more. Until he went out of town for a week and disappeared, we didn’t speak for that entire time until he got back, we agreed to see each other but nothing set in stone, but I never heard from him again. At first I was debaiting in reaching out myself but after watching this video I know I need to let it go! Thanks Ryan :)
Excellent Oriana! 🙌🏼
👍😊
They don't contact you much at all and Ignore your messages and say they are busy.
@@vhayashi7369 correct!
Omg this video hurts my feelings
Why Patricia? It's just silly games...
@@datingcoachryanpatrick because these "silly games" can damage a persons psyche. These silly games are usually played by narcissistic people...
@@aquarius7223 it definitely does damage one’s psyche. I’ve experienced it before so I know how it feels.
Here’s a mind game: “You’re not going to be one of those ‘jealous’ girls are you?” Then when you catch him cheating, “I felt like you didn’t love me enough because you never got jealous.” Hellooooo Narc!
Wow same 🙃
Wow. That’s a good one!
Mine got me so angry I left him for 2 days where he slept with another only to tell me : at least now you know why you’re crying
If a guy acts like he doesn't like me I will give him a few opportunities to give him a minute to get himself together but if it takes more than a minute I'm out.....
Wow, i got mind screwed big time! I got the silent treatment from this "man". He did quite a few things from the list. Damn, I was bigger fool than I thought.
But hey, now you’ll know immediately the next time it happens. It’s all about saving our precious time in the end 😉
When he never complements you and dosn't initiate a kiss or sex but gets super gealous when other guys give you attention and wants to know who your talking to whenever the phone rings.
I im in a relationship like that.
One wasted summer with a jerk. Now I know.
And one more summer you will *never* give to another jerk 😉
I wasted over half a year pining after an asshole who gave me tons of mixed signals
His name was Janos or Alexander?
The asshole that I had unfortunately met is a Tony. He's a horrid person. Last time he tried to hook up with me he was already dating someone else (didn't find out until a month later). Good thing I didn't hook up with him again. I even tried to warn his new gf but she stayed with him 🤷♀️
@@cherylmazil3360 Thanks for replying so fast Cheryl 😄 really happy to see that you are smart woman who knows her value! Some women don't. I know one who still is with her husband who bring her 4 times STD - yes correctly 4 times! He also beat her. Some people are too weak for saying no more!
He talked a lot about his ex all the bad things she did
That's a sign of someone with a disorder. One of the major red flags of narcissistic personality disorder. I guarantee he was the one doing the bad shit. If you did some digging I'm positive you would be astonished at the lies you would uncover and what actually happened. this has happened to me. I was with a guy for less than two weeks before I kicked him out of my house. I found out later that he had broken one womans ribs...two of them and tried to strangle another woman! She wanted to tell me but was scared I wouldn't believe her poor dear. He was SO fucking crazy!
He will do the same to you one day when you become his ex
OMG.. that’s exactly the same thing happened to me too..is a lucky escape for me!
Marin Around sooooo true!!!
Those ones are major mental cases.
When he tells you that he needs to work on himself . And he’s been hurt so many times Boy bye ! 😂👏👍
I've gone through all these feelings and the only way I could deal with it was to believe in myself and stick by my boundaries. 🍒
Beware of the narcissist. Their style is just the opposite...until the mask drops.
I just cut a guy loose. He's almost 50 and I found out he's financially dependent on his Mom. He love bombed in the beginning. Then I started feeling like something was off. I also started feeling like he was testing boundaries to see what he can get away with. I'll be 43 in the Fall, my son is 19. Don't have time for the foolishness.
When he replies "hey babe" after I text that I'm frustrated with him. Not one word of sincerity back after "all that". Games. Wish I was better at saying next and meaning it! That part is on me, I know.
@@JesusIsLord2478 True, I had to be hurt real bad before I woke up that there are truly different categories of men and when you know the damage done by a manipulator you will also smash the door bc most of us do have a certain amount of healthy ego and pride to tell someone: this is my limit and you don't care about me bye my door is closed.
I have a heart of gold and I am not a radio you can switch on and off. No more acces! I also realize there are many good people, men who do treat you with decency and respect and you can live life to the fullest with or without a partner.
@@JesusIsLord2478 I'm sorry girl. I feel you. You will overcome. It's very painful. It's like they hold your heart in their hands and throw it around. It's not your fault or it's the fact he takes advantage of your presence and attention. I hope and pray you will be surrounded by at least one genuine person to have support and when it's your time you will feel it and rise up against the manipulation. Breaking the 'spell'. Taking your power back. It's not bc we are to sensitive when we feel angry or pain. It's bc it's not right and not equal. My voice became louder and louder asking myself one simple question: would I, could I get ignore someone's message for days, months, even years while caring / loving them? No bc love true love confirms the other person.
Or explains why there is some distance. These types ignore human basic rules. The confusing part is they can also be seemingly normal 'ethical' people and gentle in interaction. But in their silence you can feel there cold rejection. If you express how you feel they say you are weird or at least thinking things that aren't even there. Pretty evil if you think about it
It helped me to define its not me to compare the negative feelings with how I once felt with a very sweet guy.
We didn't even have a relation but I loved him and it was unconditional, he was honest with me. Everytime I get confused or feel pain I think about that sweet man and I realize I never had anger or pain and frustrations around him so!! Simple conclusion, all the negativity inside of me was connected to the evil players I connected with.
Good people appreciate the real you. Manipulators see your identity and they see your shine bit they don't want you to know and feel your self. In reality you hold the key they don't. You will become stronger. I hope you have a happy Christmas without heart aches and only peace of mind. Much love to you. You are beautiful and unique and there are souls who will elevate you instead of ignoring, pulling and pushing. I met a new man and he seems okay but I'm still constantly scanning.... If he has two or more faces. It's the love and words you give from your heart and getting nothing in return. Not bc you give to receive but complete silence is a little to extreme after being very close to someone.
I could write and write about this I guess I'm still processing my awakening I have been mislead by a few men. One was the love of my life and be kept contacting me for years.
It's very empowering though to know that these assholes will eventually lose a pearl and will have to live with their unfinished work. How they treated people will be their debet saldo forever and we are free and able to be honest with ourself and others we are rich they are miserable or at least empty.
Hope you tell yourekf you're sweet kind, sexy beautiful and you chose the one who is good enough for you on your level of respect.
@@JesusIsLord2478I don't know if it's your taste of music but this song is so healing to me, Ne-Yo. All his songs are right from a gentle man heart and it makes you feel like a lady with class it helps you to feel priceless and worthy of a true, humble but secure man. It's also very relaxing. I don't know but it always brings me back into my own dignity and flow. Or I cry my heart out and it releases 😊😊🌹 cutting the idiots off and making room for your highest dreams and the man who won't destroy your magic but magnifies it. And visa versa. I believe we have our like minded souls walking around somewhere. Smiling men with humor. The song is called 'Integrity' . If you listen just think as if he's singing about you 😊...it will bring your state of mind in higher place. Away from low losers.
ua-cam.com/video/dBQr9m6wQTQ/v-deo.html
It gets easier as you get older 😃😃
Once a man took two weeks to reply to my two messages. Suddenly he texted me back. I asked him why he didn’t text me back two weeks ago. He said that he thought I had ghosted him since I didn’t send more texts than the two I already sent him. He wanted to see me, said he loved me and could see a future with me 😳🙄 Of course I dumped him. Then he sent rude messages constantly for several weeks. Lucky me that got away.
Wow u are so right to leave him
What my mother and her girlfriend says “never chase a man” and relationship coaches “Mathew Coast and Helena Hart” goes in depth of hour long video of certain subjects. They talk about biology differences in males and females with psychology backing it up.
My ex loved to plant insecurity seeds in me. He loved to say "I can have any woman I want" and he would often tell me how many women he had and who they were etc. He was very good looking, established, middle-age still very childish, insecure and actually with very low self-esteem.
😡
LOL...you should have pimped him out..
Sounds just like my boyfriend 😅
@@Essie_K Omg! Run!!
@@xodancerxo I did, but it took me several months to recover from confusion, self-doubt and rebuild self-esteem.
...or when u bring up ANY disagreement, the reply is, “You know where the door is, There’s the door, if you don’t like it, no ONES forcing you to stay!”
Just like that, u r disposable/valueless.
Julie Copen unless they play games that there not that interested in you so you say stop playing that game if your not interested there’s the door 🚪 haha
Happened to me, he hasn't heard from me ever again. The door was definitely my best option :-)
I needed this video as a wake up call. I finally had the courage to admit to myself I wasn't worth their time. While it hurts, I will move on and just focus on me. I cant be an after thought.
I felt like he was hiding me from everybody else. I didn't know his friends or family. He wouldn't talk about himself nor ask anything about me. He would always make sure to say the right thing but when it would come to actions he wouldn't get anything done. But the worst part was that I would try to talk to him about things and communicate but he would either find a way of changing the subject or making me forget about it. He never had anything to say when I would confront him. It would be apologize, promise to change and move on. He would act calm and make me feel like a maniac or needy for complaining about how emotionally distant he was. I found myself questioning everything.
Did you ever find out if he was hiding something the whole time?
@@lauraann7027 No. I never got any kind of answer or found out anything. I got tired and left.
Nicássia Cassinda so how do you confront him without putting your emotion out there ? How do you turn the table and basically say “you won’t treat me that way?”
@@alexasteingaszner5590 I honestly don't know if it's possible not put your emotions out there in a confrontation like this. What I tried my best to do was to show him that regardless of my feelings for him, I wouldn't stay and be treated like less than I deserve. It's like "I like you but I like me more". I guess I showed him that I respect myself more than I like him. You need to believe that you don't deserve being treated like that. I sounded convincing and determined even though it was breaking my heart
oh my god my ex boyfriend just like this. my gut tell me that something off about him,turnt out he is been cheating since the beginning relationship. I'm so sorry toh need to through this, but i promise getting out of this toxic relationship never can be better. I'm sorry you can not prove what you feel wrong about him, but you can walk away from him before he become so control about it.
I was dating a guy who wouldn't introduce me to his friends. I met his family but not his friends. He is a dance instructor and only went dancing with his friends not me. When I brought this up to him he would make excuses. Took a while but thankfully learned RED FLAG. One of the friends he danced with was an ex he didn't want me to know about
When he tells you one thing nice or is very nice to you one day and the complete opposite the next day. Also makes you believe you will be hanging out 1 on 1 then when you arrive all of a sudden it's a whole party. Everything in his life will be "I dunno" "I hate making plans"....
“I like you and honestly if I wasn’t in this weird place I would be totally into you” Then it went to “long distance relationships suck and he doesn’t do them.” This is a guy I met through gaming and streaming. He would DM me and we would have conversations and play video games together. We would tease and flirt and have fun. He made me a mod in all his streaming platforms and discord. He showed me his home, his vinyl collection, talked to me about his family, showed me around where he lived... through streaming when I was the only one in chat or while talking. I grew to have feelings for him and then he said the above quotes over a course of a month. It hurt and I still struggle to let go of it.
Very honest contribution to the conversation, Ryan. I’m so grateful that you put all this info right out there with no fanfare. No drama.
Thanks Zazu!
He distanced, ghosted, acted aloof with me for three months then all of a sudden pushes for us "getting serious" all this was a pathetic (and what he probably thought was an artful) request for sex, which he did not get. The unexplained distancing previously had already left ne hurt and defensive. I kmew he had accessed some mysogynistic slop program that teaches men how to "break women down" if men only knew how repulsive this makes them seem.
I would rather be alone than have some man emotionally bully me into intimacy I told him I was not ready for.
Donna Dupree good for you sister, don’t give in easy.. they think we are dolls they can do whatever they want and sex and wanted. Hell no!!
good. you said 'no' when it mattered most.
Mental violence. Complete abuse. One tried to put me down bc I didn't want to do something intimate. He said 'look at you you're sitting there staring like a dead person'. Well I blocked bc of his pressure. I freezed. Then he got mad at me for telling him I felt forced. He said I accused him of abuse!!!!! Yelling at me in my own house, it felt intimidating.
That was the day of goodbye. Men also use the fact that some insane women do false reports. Evil men use it to play victim while knowing they are wrong. To get away with it or to attack their victim.
Horrible criminals in a normal package.
Donna Dupree donna i just stay to myself and yet i got no sex from a woman
well except that one time years ago where i was asked about it and i said no because of morals
and yet over 12 years later, nope never was asked by anyone
@Mauser 96 A high value man does not act entitled to that which does not rightfully belong to him. A real high value man honors himself, all women, and the word of God. A high value man is not led by his masculine desires, but by the Holy Spirit.
He is not high value if his aim is to demean the women he encounters in dating.
I am sooo glad that you did this video! Gosh mine was silent treatment, answer question with question, aloof, triangulate, never have time when I want
All i can say don’t iniate text or calls just let him pursue you
@I am Kristina: this like is from a boy . u are absolutely right dear I agree with you . if he likes you he will definitely try to contact you and will be spot-on with his feelings , he will confess his feelings to u if he is genuinely interested in you . My dear Girls just take ur time and don't rush quickly because this is where u might make mistake , just trust your gut.
🙋🏽♀️ I agree..
@i am kristina: But don't make him pursue too much otherwise he will eventually lose interest in you and start ignoring you and not make any contact whatsoever, same thing happened to me now I don't feel like even pursuing any girl I am interested in. So sad yaar (hindi) ( means friend) .
If a truly man likes me he will do anything just to have me. A Woman do not chase or intiate😀😊
@@iamkristina💕dear I disagree because sometimes reverse happens but I don't know why good men always finish last? Women tend to fall for jerks/Chad's/tyrones and always friendzones the nice guyz.
People don't understand that this Virgo receives signs/ dreams that reveal the truth. My God given gift.
I , as a Scorpio , had a dream that my then boyfriend ( now ex ) was the Devil . Flashing his tongue at me and everything .
He played all of these on me. It became a 9 year nightmare toxic relationship with a child. Finally escaped from it but damn so many wasted years. Now I’m in my early 40s and I feel like I have entered the nobody wants to date me zone. I always say I wish I would have been smart enough to see the signs sooner but then I wouldn’t have my son. He’s the best thing in my life now. Still, I wish I could’ve had this advice in 2008 lol.
melissadhp hi， thank you so much for your honest share and I feel so related. I am so sorry to hear that this relationship dragged you for such long time.but i am sure you will find you true love one day!!! I am with this guy for 2.5 years and I don't even know what are we. I know something is wrong but it is such a hard time to pull back all the emotions, I am trying so hard and wish this can end soon. And i wish you all the best !!!!!!!
@@xinyuechang6062 you can end remember nothing is impossible be yourself and trust Your gut it takes time to heal hope you will overcome this.
I was married at 42 and since I spent most of my time in college and working in childcares and schools my time went by long before I realized how much time I had let go by without developing any real connections with men. I did not have dating experience like you so by the time I started even reconnecting in any type of emotional way with men again it was a total nightmare. Although I survived the nightmare without death or anything that could harm me forever, it was so much easier to identify the right man once I did form actual healthy relationships. When I met my husband it was so balanced from the beginning. When someone you "would like to know" equally "likes to know you back" and it develops in a healthy way, it really helps and is so hard to find but not impossible. It was strange that the people who pursued me the most even though I could not stand them always ended up being the ones who were jerks in the end. It is hard for us to understand because some men think the complete opposite about us. Men like this prefer women who literally can't stand them. It is crazy but they get married over and over to these women who literally can't stand them. I did not have to stop preferring the quality men in my life just how I was connecting with them. I had to learn to let the quality men take the lead. Seriously, I just had to let the quality men pursue me while showing safe interest in them. If a person can not even be your friend it is the first sign that you are going nowhere. There is no point in inviting anyone into your life by doing all of these mean things to get them in your life only to have to keep doing them to keep them in your life. If someone is really into you for you then you will know it. If he or she isn't you will too. You just have to pay attention to how you make each other feel. You also need to let "him" take the lead. Listen to them and be there for them but let them take the lead. The only lead you should be taking is knowing how to end things with someone who does not treat you well. Sometimes it seems easier for women to allow ourselves to be "dumped" because when we do the dumping we usually need our male family members or friends to "help us" rid ourselves of the person and it can get scary. Have you ever caught yourself doing all of these little things that drive guys away at the beginning because you know that the only sure way to get rid of them is to do the things that you know men don't like? I mean if they think it's their idea to go away you can be sure they won't ever come back right? Trust me let the guy take the lead and let him "think he is always taking the lead"! Men are "the head" but women are "the neck" and the neck can make the head move any way we want. Something as easy as a wave hello and a smile in their direction is all it takes from us. After that. We pretty much just need to let them be the man.
It’s never too late for you to date again,don’t give up .you will found someone
@@justsoyouknow9665 i agree with the head n neck theory! :)
These men are players
I’M GONNA REPLACE SIRI WITH YOU RYAN!
Thank you for concrete examples and guidelines spoken from a genuine integer male mind 👍
Bringing it back to the truth plain and simple.
That old hit song 'what is love, baby don't hurt me'.
If it hurts something is not good. If he leaves you with rejection vibes it's not you it's his influence, run away!!!
I get the preemptive "I'm so busy right now but just want to say hi" texts. So it's like don't bother trying to have a conversation with me, just stringing you along.
This!
OMG ... I needed this advice so many years ago. I wasted truckloads of Kleenex on manipulators, players and downright cads. In my next life I will not go through this crap-oola again.
Ryan, I commented on another of your post regarding the same guy. But hug mind game/red flag that he said was this “I can get any girl to fall in love with me.” I was like what?! I think he may be a narcissist. He did a lot what you said above. I work with him which doesn’t help. But he known to have dated a lot of girls and he told me his own mother said to him recently “it isn’t the girls it is you.” So even his parents are aware of his issues.
Total sounds like a narcissist 😬He clearly isn't thinking of the other person and how they'd react to that... because it's pretty bad! Like I mentioned in the other thread: Work boys = No-Go. He's doing you a favor right now by being such a weirdo; hopefully it becomes an easy open and shut case for you 🙂
Ryan Patrick, thank you for replying! I really appreciate your input. Yes I am finally over the initial upset. It still brothers me at times because he literally works right next to me and he is a crucial part of the team. People at work make fun of him since he dates everyone at work. I was new and fell for his charm. Learned my lesson! Plus I haven’t dated anyone for a year so it was nice for a guy to chase me.
Narcissist are totally just all about them. I remember talking to this guy recently - setting rules as if we are exclusive but flakes , comes back again, give me reasons and it was just all about him all the time. I hated it.
Thank you Ryan for clearing a lot of things up in my mind and just reaffirming some other things. I definitely made the right choice of moving on!
So true....this needs to be taught in high-school!
I think these signs are typical of a narcissistic guy.
Totally!
A narcissist lives in phases. Love bombing to get you going, once you surrender they start devaluation then they discard. They always have another supply lined up. I just got out of one of those and he couldn’t leave me alone.
@@gilmourishgilmourish6205 Serial abusers.
Ms. Smith indeed !!
What my mother and her girlfriend says “never chase a man” and relationship coaches “Mathew Coast and Helena Hart” goes in depth of hour long video of certain subjects. They talk about biology differences in males and females with psychology backing it up.
When you said that he thinks there's surely something wrong with you - I was thinking, if he was a narcissistic person and was getting away with narcissistic boundary pushing behaviour - he might think that there is something wrong with the woman or he wouldn't be getting away with it
I hate the fact that we play mind games with one another. Like both men and women, I definitely have played mind games with men I knew weren't into me. Which is why when men do it to me I see it for what it is.
A man genuinely into me would never play head games. The best example I got this year from a guy I went on two dates with said *"I usually only date women in their 20's, but I'm making an exception in your case. I'll put you in my rotation"* When I told him not to call me again he started texting me about how I was the reason he didn't like older women because we are too much trouble. 🙄🙄🙄
" I'll put you in my rotation (???)" Geez he actually said that? Haha that line was *definitely* the result of teachings from a [failed] pick up artist... 🙄
What a disrespectful fucker
@@pineapplezz5076 Hahaha Fucker😆😂
What an idiot
He is so rude. You don't even have to tell him anything. Just block him.
Yep some people are weirdos.
He says I can't stay or go to his house because it is such a mess. He said he dated a woman for 5 years and she never saw his house. What is that?
Thank you so much, Ryan. You have finally settled my questioning of myself as to whether confronting him about something he did, which made me feel disrespected, was the right thing to do. It led to silence, shut down and trying to make me jealous when I did manage to get back in touch for some clarity. Just not ready for something healthy.
When he keeps you guessing he's playing games. When you ask questions and he gives you a "right" answer instead of honesty- he's playing games. When he wants you to stop (?) Without clarifying if that means to leave -he's playing games. When he is vague- games, not promising anything-games. Going with the flow - games. When you ask a question and he says he already answered that long time ago (?) In one of the conversations that you are not sure which one was that in the first place - games. Etc etc . There's a special place in hell for players, and the worst part? Dude was way below my league but I thought he was a real deal, wow, deserved a tight slap right then and there when I first considered him as serious.
Leave me alone..the best three words
I felt that almost all the guys I met in Tinder fall into at least half of these categories. I wish I watched your video earlier. They are such an eye opener.
Liked the video. There was sincerity, not just a lot of talk to promote the channel. Thank you.
Omg you are so on target!!! You would not believe the immaturity in middle-aged men that play the narcissistic self entitled shallow selfish mind games. And I process very logically instead of emotionally like most women so I see through stuff pretty quickly and they're never prepared for me because I call him on it I don't have any fear doing that because bottom line is respect is number one and if someone can't respect you value your time and know your worth then they are not worth communicating with. But that takes a very secure independent woman.
Love that Wanda! I'm sure that shakes these guys up for sure! Call it out when you see it like Wanda, ladies! 🙌
@@datingcoachryanpatrick men are so differnt than they were 20 plus years ago when I was dating the last time. And never had an issue back then finding a partner if I wanted and in todays world of dating men are bipolar differnt. People need to own their baggage and not let it bleed into their life today. There is this thing called therapy lol.
Wanda Sexton oh my god!!! I so agree 😖😫 it’s like men these days are using their issues or past hurts as an excuse for bad behaviour.. yeah nah.. see ya .. bye 👋 done with these narcissist souls sucking types. I too call them out in their poor behaviour very early on in the dating game ... they don’t last more than a few months with me. Pretty sad really, majority of men can’t handle a strong self respecting woman. They prefer doormats 🙄
@@Paula-zl3zn well you have better luck than I do LOL. I can't seem to make it past maybe the second date. It's like they turn into aliens LMAO. They're not expecting a woman like us because they're really used to emotional women who also haven't worked through their issues and that feel like they need a man to complete them instead of wanting a man to just compliment their life instead. But you have to also remember I'm pretty sure that they have a tendency to embellish a lot and they don't expect an independent strong woman to call them on their behavior. I've even told a few they need to go to therapy LOL that they have no Clarity and reflection they need to do something about their semi truck full of baggage I need to compartmentalize and take it down to maybe a suitcase
@@wandasexton643 true, what gets me is the middle age guys, also play games it look pathetic old fools
Almost 7 out of 12 of what you said in this video hit the record. Glad I left my toxic ex 6 months ago. 6 months of mind games, and yeah, I had a hard time recovering because of his gaslighting, possessiveness and insecurity. Now my life's better with him cut off from my life.
Wish I saw this video 6 years ago. Could of avoided a lot of mistakes.
Thank you Ryan, this vídeo has helped me to make the right decision. I won’t let a good guy go, just because I have my mind set on one that is emotionally unavailable, and does not appreciate my worth. I really appreciate your advice. I’m moving on!
damn wish i knew this sooner, he gave most of these signs I ended up wasting 3 years with no commitment...well lesson learned
I've made the same mistake, just because I was too scared to tell him what was off..
Same to you
Same here. 2,5 years. Thank goodness I didn’t move in with him. I left and a week after his ex moved in with him.
God, I wish I knew all this things when I was a teenager😅 Well, experience is a good teacher too... But, it's better to listen to good advice, saves time and nerves. One more great video, love them, Ryan!👍🏻
Thanks Vera!
I'm so glad I found this channel. my boyfriend has never called me pretty or if I get dressed up doesn't say wow you look nice or anything, I have a puppy with in I don't know what to do and he's done a number of questionable things too
You are so talented, bang on, articulate and know exactly what happens!
You are a breath of fresh air. So glad to hear this from a man. We aren't crazy that these things are going on.
Thanks Rosemary!
The 'he keeps you away from his world' really got to me. After 3 months of dating we became a couple. He told me a few times he was gonna tell his parents only to then say he didn't feel ready and he wasn't ready to meet my friends after promising me he'd be there for my birthday. Should've known then that it wasn't going to last. We broke up 2 weeks ago and nobody from his family or friends knew he had a girlfriend... Still heartbroken about it
Thank you so much for putting this out there♥️
Thank you for setting it straight. Ignoring a women is the worse tactic to use, it never works, at least with a women who is confident in what she’s got to offer and who she is.
When I finally verbalized how I felt about not being important enough, all of a sudden he started talking about what I was and wasn't doing; what I had been doing and saying, and then started pulling away. No accountability at all about his actions. Take the light off him and put it on me.
I just rolled my eyes and gave out a big sigh and left it alone.
Well, damn. How you Like me now ??
#11 Shutdowns easily - since we are on LDR, we seldom talk and see each other in video call due to time difference. I really ask him that we set time to talk but when we see each other, we were not able to talk the issue and so I would leave him a message and open up to him. He dont immediately reply on my message but after few hours may be when he is not busy already. Grateful I watch this video, Thanks Ryan 👍👌
THANK YOU. I needed this. keep it up please :) LOVE YOUR VIDEOS
THANK GOD I found this channel 😊🙏🌟 and THANK YOU Ryan 👑
I’ve never understood the “being at the point of exclusivity” comment. It never crossed my mind that someone I was dating was dating others. That’s cheating. It’s sad that you even need to ask. Strange times.
Do you live in the USA? I am from Europe and cannot get used to this concept of dating here....it seems so opportunistic!
@@aiai-j7i I'm European. I guess dating apps have created fomo but if I found out someone I was dating was also dating others (and I understand that means sleeping with others) even at the initial stages that'd be it for me. Sounds a bit odd to to introduce someone to parents after 3 months. Too soon.
I saw agree with that
Right? idk how people can date multiple at a time :( Feels like cheating.
@@emilym2097 And I never really understood what good it offers... For the experience some will say... Well if you sleep with a stranger or an acquaitance, what would be the possible percentage that you would actually enjoy it? Very low, right? And at the end it's sex, how many things could change that it makes him wanna sample every girl? You find a good thing and you put it in the back burner because you think the buffet is unlimited.... Sad.
Excuses, texting=Block, don't waste your time. If he doesn't have his own cut him off!
I really love your videos! ❤ They show me how little I know about guys, but they also make me more confident and give me so useful tips so thank you for putting so much effort in them!! 💕