The SAD TRUTH about Your EX after a breakup

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  • Опубліковано 19 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 104

  • @metalangyalkaaa
    @metalangyalkaaa Рік тому +63

    People break up even if they are depressed, not all thinks that they are better, but they think they dont feel good in their life, they dont love themselves even, so they can not be in relationship either.

  • @goldenlifelove7251
    @goldenlifelove7251 Рік тому +12

    I agree completely! He went from caring to acting like I did something to him. The fact that he acted like he cared for God knows how long, when he really didn't, is what hurts the most. I thought our communication was great, but the fact that he never told me how he felt b4 breaking up with me is so damaging.

    • @sashalikesbooks
      @sashalikesbooks 4 місяці тому

      Lots of love and understanding here 💕
      I believe we cannot do right choices when we're blind by ignorance
      It takes time and effort to become aware 🙏🏻

  • @creeper9759
    @creeper9759 Рік тому +8

    My girl left me about 4 month ago... just because I was having worst days in my life...we had 3.5 year of relationship.....and she doesn't even care at all....💔💔💔💔...she didn't mentally support me as I supported her always.....it hurts 💔💔💔

  • @xXHavocGamerXx
    @xXHavocGamerXx Рік тому +50

    I was just recently in a relationship and never had one this serious and for it to end has broken me and multiple ways. I unfortunately made the mistake of constantly trying to talk and didn't realize the damage I was doing but now after watching many vids like this I've taken the steps to improve myself and be happy with myself. I hope maybe down the line we can get back together and this video was definitely a hard pill to swallow

    • @pmdal
      @pmdal Рік тому +1

      Any update

    • @xXHavocGamerXx
      @xXHavocGamerXx 11 місяців тому +1

      I just moved on, seeing how fast they moved in gave me everything I needed to know. I started going to the gym a lot since then and it’s become a good hobby of mine that I try my best to stick too, plus I’ve tried bettering myself in other aspects. I actually have started to like myself and I’m content with it until the right one comes along. Still some things to improve on but I’ve come to realize we all make these mistakes sooner or later and I just had to learn not to make them again

  • @bigsisjudah9516
    @bigsisjudah9516 Рік тому +8

    I needed to resolve my feelings. Closure if you will, I don't feel bad anymore. I never reached out when things went bad, and he always left me , each time it got easier, and now I have totally released him.

  • @bricew8448
    @bricew8448 Рік тому +19

    I will say that whether you are the dumper or the dumpee nothing good comes from it. Breakups aren't black and white so there is no one glove fits all. There are instances where the dumper may actually feel like the dumper because they may have given their partner chance after chance and nothing changed. The dumpee may have done things to push that person away and the dumper may not even wanted to leave the relationship. Just my take on things.

    • @fuliviacannady7703
      @fuliviacannady7703 Рік тому +1

      Absolutely. Very true

    • @Pschool1
      @Pschool1 Рік тому +1

      very true

    • @MG-gq2rs
      @MG-gq2rs Рік тому +3

      That is my case.
      I hurt soooo much but I don’t even think he cares. I began to feel like a convenience and an option not like a priority to him. That’s why I said goodbye.
      I still get emotional but it’s no good, there has been no effort on his part to reach out to me, so no contact has not worked. He’s gone.
      I just have to work on healing and moving on with my life.

  • @kimdelaney1825
    @kimdelaney1825 Рік тому +19

    Actions speak louder than words 💯. When you feel that the person is not living up to there word and they are taking you for granted and they don't and chose not to communicate and you are no longer a priority. It's necessary to walk away FRFR

    • @MG-gq2rs
      @MG-gq2rs Рік тому +2

      I agree, that’s how I felt and that’s why I decided to walk away.
      No contact hasn’t worked for me he does not reach out to me in any way. I guess he has other priorities but I still hurt because I care.

    • @latiqualondon470
      @latiqualondon470 10 місяців тому

      Same with me

    • @sashalikesbooks
      @sashalikesbooks 4 місяці тому

      It's just not true. Maybe louder but no more true in it. The same with words: your calm message may heal.

  • @norfadhilah9838
    @norfadhilah9838 Рік тому +3

    I beg, plead to him to make him come back for me..we both hurt..he said “move forward,time will help us”…suddenly at some point, all i care only for my feelings..i didn’t care of his feelings,his needs..decided to just let go..its hard but i know i can do better in future..building myself right now…

  • @tanakagurajena1258
    @tanakagurajena1258 Рік тому +5

    Painful truth...but it is wat it is.Thanks Coach

  • @princessharrison3038
    @princessharrison3038 Рік тому +21

    Definitely a tough pill to swallow but needed to hear it! Thank you 🙏🏽

  • @mathews0618
    @mathews0618 Рік тому +3

    Its just your mind playing tricks on you like a drug does to an addict. My ex never showed up like she promised, was emotionally abusive and was self centered. I loved her, she didn't love me. She can watch me thrive

  • @N.ireland
    @N.ireland Рік тому +9

    Hey Coach. I love you man 😊. Your my Man in this time of need haha. I watch your videos everyday. You've helped me alot. God bless you Sir. 💪

  • @donaldmurchison7549
    @donaldmurchison7549 Рік тому +3

    Thank you Coach Blac and my ex has insulted me terribly but I still have hope.

  • @ZinisterMusic
    @ZinisterMusic Рік тому +5

    I wanna say thank you to you man, the way you bring your advise into the light has really helped me see things from a more logical perspective, and has given me a better understanding

    • @thomesc6214
      @thomesc6214 Рік тому

      He is helping so many people. Thank you coach!

  • @bigsisjudah9516
    @bigsisjudah9516 Рік тому +1

    I knew he didn't care and I allowed him back to many times! It's done now, it's a very bad break up, divorce looming, can't wait til its all over with.

  • @Jredthepolyglot
    @Jredthepolyglot Рік тому +4

    We werent together for long, and she said she couldn’t continue because she wasnt emotionally available because her last relationship seriously damaged her trust. Ive been in no contact for about 3 weeks now and somedays i’m fine others not so much. It’s difficult because the other day I saw her in public and she acted like I was just some other guy. I pray that if she’s not for me that no contact will at least help me get over her, but part of me can’t let go of the hope that she will come back some day.

    • @tavinemovi7083
      @tavinemovi7083 Рік тому +1

      I am girl n by hearing ur story ur ex n me are alike. Girl who is still over her ex but date another guy is never a love. She doesn't love the new bf or whatever but she is jus trying to replace her ex or using them to forget their ex. Its never a love. I did that too

  • @namzito22
    @namzito22 Рік тому +3

    Come on my guy, give up the beard secrets! ha. What are you putting in it?

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Рік тому

      Haha I got you bro. I used minoxidil to start. There are a lot of videos on UA-cam about it. Currently, dermaroller and Jamaican black castor oil daily. Also just don’t shave it if possible with your work situation

  • @KingDarkBlaze
    @KingDarkBlaze Рік тому +1

    Left after 7yrs she left an it hurt the first day or two but after I started realizing that it was for the best an I’m moving on an so has she it seems quick as it’s been over a month kinda feel like we both got over each other fast but I was falling out of love with her two yrs prior to the breakup but it still hurt fr too anyone move on don’t hold yourself back cause of this it’s just going to hurt u more than your ex trust me accept it an improve your life.

  • @jrkooms8024
    @jrkooms8024 Рік тому +2

    Great Counsel👍👍🙏🙏
    I love most, your humility..
    Please keep it up.
    Stay Blessed..
    Regards from Ghana. West Africa

  • @sashalikesbooks
    @sashalikesbooks 4 місяці тому

    Wow! Thank you people, your comments are so beautiful. I appreciate your sharing so generous ❤

  • @stephaniechavez4347
    @stephaniechavez4347 Рік тому +2

    Any advice? We were together for a year and it was pretty serious. I finally said yes to be his gf this end of January. A week later, argued, and he told me he couldn’t do it anymore, I take him for granted. This last argument exploded in his face. Didn’t talk to him for 2 weeks but around valentines I reached out. We met up and he was all loving like he always is but when he left he said he wanted to act like we were back to normal but deep in his heart he knew we weren’t. Didn’t talk another 2 weeks. I snooped on his friends ig and I confronted him cause I saw a girl. I said a few nasty things. He replied at 1st but stopped. I tried reaching out again but now he has my number blocked, and doesn’t reply to my dms. I feel so devastated because he is completely ignoring me. Will he come back even though he said he loves me but checked out? We made so many plans. He said he wanted to start saving up so we can move together. He really wanted kids too but I told him to wait until next year. I’m scared to lose him forever

  • @deemorgan4479
    @deemorgan4479 Рік тому +61

    I hear people say if they walk away they never loved you that is so untrue. I loved the person I walked away from and still do. Just hated dismissive behavior

    • @marcGOAT1
      @marcGOAT1 Рік тому +5

      can you explain the dismissive behavior?

    • @fd9891
      @fd9891 Рік тому +8

      I am on the same boat. I just ended a 2 year relationship. we had been having issues months prior because he couldn’t say he loved me. I finally asked him and he said he didn’t know. I had to walk away. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me

    • @deemorgan4479
      @deemorgan4479 Рік тому +4

      @FD I know it's hard. It hurts loving someone who doesn't know how to receive love or fully give it back. What I have come to realize their is some unhealthy part of ourselves that keeps trying with someone who shuts us out. The best thing to do is give them space and work on our own healing. I have been here too many times and it has taken a toll on me. Can't afford to be broken again trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. And technically it's their right not to. We have no right trying to change them. It's healthier finding someone who wants and knows how to give love. I love him but I had to learn to love me more

    • @deemorgan4479
      @deemorgan4479 Рік тому +3

      @FD praying for you. Put all that energy in loving yourself and watch some amazing things happen.

    • @deemorgan4479
      @deemorgan4479 Рік тому +4

      @Marc M Marc where do I began lol Hot and cold behavior. One minute want love and a relationship and instantly don't. Sending mixed signals knowing someone really has feelings for them. Gaslighting and dismissing a person's feelings if they discuss how they feel about the person..I could go on. My avoidant spent alot of his time with me. He let me in closer than most. He started out pursing for a relationship and downgraded me all the way to a friend yet wanted all of my time and attention of a girlfriend. He got upset with me for not wanting to settle for just that after 3 years. I blame myself too because I should have walked away when he said he doesn't see himself being in a relationship with anyone.

  • @Ellie-ug2rw
    @Ellie-ug2rw Рік тому +7

    Hi coach 😊 love your videos how you explain how to handle situation

  • @ApostleThe344
    @ApostleThe344 Рік тому +3

    Bro when she or he leaves for themself its over

  • @tineitei5392
    @tineitei5392 Рік тому +2

    Thank you, God bless!!

  • @Captivisiontv
    @Captivisiontv Рік тому

    Woman I was seeing just ghosted me. She went off to holiday back to her country, came back not even telling me she was back, communicated twice, briefly, and then she never got back to me. I never chased afterward...never!

  • @rambojohnj.6117
    @rambojohnj.6117 Рік тому +1

    I realize black don’t crack, but this man is simply WAY too wise, down to Earth, well-spoken, and intelligent for his age. Thank you, brother.
    We shouldn’t simply listened to Snoop’s advice in ‘93, “Doggystyle”…
    Don’t get upset, girl, that’s just how it goes,
    I don’t looooooove you hoooooes.
    I’m out the door.”

  • @thomesc6214
    @thomesc6214 Рік тому +2

    No contact the only way.

  • @davidkool5131
    @davidkool5131 Рік тому +19

    Women when they break up with you they become very stubborn and selfish and with that negative emotional vibe they carry on inside themselves for a long period of time even deep inside they understand realizing and all of the consequences and possible regret of loosing you but they still continue having that ego and it's slowly destroying and their self worth because they cannot trust anyone while having false illusions and ego centric assumptions about the other partner or people👊 👍🏼🤙

    • @CiluhStyle1
      @CiluhStyle1 Рік тому +4

      Facts, that's why I just had to let go cuz whole time she got me thinking it was me but it's really her.

    • @babyluvjr
      @babyluvjr Рік тому +1

      Facts

    • @nathanielflar4941
      @nathanielflar4941 Рік тому +2

      Exactly, I mean you can sit there and see how their attitudes change how do you stop answering the phone the same way especially when they lining the next man up. They get cold and get distant the only thing that matters to them is that new so they want to act that way to make you break up with them so they can say well you broke up with me so they won't look so bad. And I see a lot of these women comment that they gave a person so many chances that they just have to walk away, what I noticed about women is in their minds they think that they are giving you chances, they don't verbalize nothing they think you are mind readers so after in their mind they reach that third time then they say, "oh I'm leaving" when the man usually don't know what's going on. And they do that on purpose so they can have an excuse to move on to another relationship. Very manipulative behavior

  • @elodinesoukou9184
    @elodinesoukou9184 Рік тому +1

    Thank you, helps clear my mind

  • @flowersforme375
    @flowersforme375 4 місяці тому

    Sometimes, a person can push you to break up with them. When someone does something so egregious and hurtful that it violates my principles, I have to leave, even if I’m in love with them. It’s painful, but I find myself more hurt by the breakup than they are.

  • @oscarsaucedo1310
    @oscarsaucedo1310 4 місяці тому +1

    me as a good person I loved my current exgirlfriend I did so much for her so she can alway's be happy with me but what I did not like was that she abused me treated me bad physically abuse me almost wanted to hit me murder me so I said inside my head if you keep this up I am going to end the relationship right away I couldn't take being with a woman like that yes I suffered I will find another woman in my life again I hope so

  • @lindakerns1518
    @lindakerns1518 Рік тому +1

    How do you handle the no contact rule when we both go to the same places and have some of the same friends?

  • @bridaugherty3831
    @bridaugherty3831 Рік тому +1

    Does this still apply to short term relationships.. like 5 months-6?

  • @ghostbipin9978
    @ghostbipin9978 Рік тому +3

    Hey Coach, I have a question. So my ex is actually my childhood friend. We have known each other for like 17 years. We met when we were 4 yrs of age and now we are about to be 21. We have been really good friends from a young age. We had been in a relationship for the past 1 year (long distance) and broke up due to a misunderstanding like she was not comfortable with the kind of questions i asked about her new college and new friends (like who else she is with in her friends group, where are you guys going etc.. i was just asking out of curiosity but i didnt have any problem if boys were there too, she just felt that way i guess) and she is very angry at me because for that. I had no idea she was uncomfortable on these until our breakup cuz she didnt mention it before. Now we have been broken up for like 2 months and after a month of our breakup she is in a new relationship with a guy , she told me they are really good friends and they usually study togther since they are from the same class and all. she also told me the reason to accept him, first of all i wasnt there at that time and also they were always together at college, and also she was angry at me. Maybe she was comfortable with him as she used to be with me . They only know about each other for less than 2 months and got close. But we still good friends, kind of best friends i would say, like we are a bit hesistant to chat but when we video call face to face, we are happy andsmile at each other and she cant be mad at me when we see faces, maybe because we still have that connection inside us. we are so close than we could ever imagine because as i said we know everything about each other, for like 17 years and our families know about each other too, and her parents really like me too. i hadnt actually contacted her for like 3 weeks now, and im hoping to rebuild that connection again. What do you think i should do now.

    • @leezybeazy2329
      @leezybeazy2329 Рік тому +4

      Leave her alone brother let the streets have her and find someone who is not afraid to tell the world 🌎 they love ❤️ u!!

    • @blessedblessed5018
      @blessedblessed5018 Рік тому +1

      Im a woman.. leave her alone

  • @mariedecoste3856
    @mariedecoste3856 Рік тому +1

    That's is very true 😭

  • @Clapcheeksnothands
    @Clapcheeksnothands Рік тому +1

    My ex came back with a kid from another man and wanted me to play chump I almost did to 💀it hurts like hell but I can never be with her again.

  • @jadenbeauchamp8836
    @jadenbeauchamp8836 Рік тому

    I broke up with my ex a week ago and I regret it does this video apply to me? I did text her 24 hours later a long paragraph and then messaged her on snap telling her I miss her a couple days ago haven’t communicated since i want her back but idk if she will take me back

  • @JonesyyWrld
    @JonesyyWrld Рік тому

    Question. I’m being sent good tiktoks saying she got hope in us. We rushed it. Thinks we were meant to be. This is bread crumbs. I was thinking of the next time she reaches out and it’s a good one I tell her to stop unless she means it and proves it and don’t contact me unless it’s something significant. If she sends a negative one I will just leave it on read. What should I do?

  • @stephensummerfield1735
    @stephensummerfield1735 Рік тому

    I only learned about no contact 5 months after my ex left me and 3 months after our divorce will it still work to get her back?

  • @williamjauregui5539
    @williamjauregui5539 Рік тому

    nailed it g

  • @mariaharo1268
    @mariaharo1268 Рік тому

    Yes my ex dump me just now. All of this is because the convincing of his ex wife through their daughter who is with her dad. She's 19 years old.
    The daughter is holding her dad around her finger. And is very jealous of me .
    Her mom has a new husband and two sons with him.
    Does this NO CONTACT will work for me? I know his in love with me. What should l do. I am feeling so terrible right now. Please advice me. I feel I don't wan to live ANYMORE . See I'm much older then him. I'm 80 years old and his 44. That's why if I should leave this wold then it okay. I don't have much time in this world. I am a widow.

  • @nayten007
    @nayten007 Рік тому +1

    What happens if you got a letter and sent it to them after 33 days no contact and then tried to call but they didn’t pick up the phone. Has it ruined the chances of him coming back?

    • @deemorgan4479
      @deemorgan4479 Рік тому +1

      That was a breadcrumb to see if you would respond..painful...you don't want to hear this but he might have to break your heart a couple more times before you let him go. Been there. As hard as it is take it day by day and put that energy back into YOU! stop focusing on when he is coming back. Believe it or not that energy is still energetically pushing him further from you. Feel all those feelings and let go slowly if you find it hard to let go now. And leave him be for now

  • @williamdolan7189
    @williamdolan7189 Рік тому

    I don’t think no contact is always the best strategy

  • @bryanmardoian6339
    @bryanmardoian6339 Рік тому

    I ash I listened and watched this two months ago. I would have handed tings so differently.

  • @Arjun-bw2ii
    @Arjun-bw2ii Рік тому

    She left me few days ago for her family reasons as her family not allowed same age relationship , what can I do now to get her back , I love her so badly , it is something I can't explain with words , it very painful that I'm thinking about dying.... please help ...😭😭😭

  • @DavidBadger-nq2hm
    @DavidBadger-nq2hm 4 місяці тому

    But what if your ex don't come back

  • @JaredSilva_
    @JaredSilva_ Рік тому

    thank you.

  • @wandaelliott9418
    @wandaelliott9418 Рік тому +2

    People suck!!

  • @robayatislambijoy6904
    @robayatislambijoy6904 Рік тому

    after couple of contacts!!my ex offered me friendship which i denied peacefully and said i don’t wanna be friends but next time she contacts me well we’ll talk about how to start a healthy relationship and which she said no she will not contact me again!! its been 12 days of no contact!!! she watches my stories on facebook!! reacted on my family photo!! will i ever hear from her again??

  • @Justbeyou-y4w
    @Justbeyou-y4w Рік тому +1

    This is spot on she moved on after two months I broke no contact and went mentally angry I’m in a new town now but she hates me and has our home 😢

  • @RikkiCorvair
    @RikkiCorvair 8 місяців тому

    Can we talk .

  • @GoodnightZzzzzzzz
    @GoodnightZzzzzzzz Рік тому

    For instance if my ex forced sex me and then when i got pregnant, he asked me to just die.... But he holds part in this. He should take responsibility. What should I do to make him realise his mistakes

  • @naomirivera4837
    @naomirivera4837 Рік тому

    🏃🏃 I Ben gone and never tuning back fact's.

  • @sweethoney1791
    @sweethoney1791 Рік тому +2

    I actually don’t want my ex back I do know contact so he can regret.
    I’ve blocked him from everything so now he sends emails.
    I don’t have the time, he got what he wanted so now he can live with his decision & loss.

  • @terijordan6354
    @terijordan6354 Рік тому

    Thanks

  • @Trueblue03
    @Trueblue03 Рік тому

    What's the best way to returning some of her personal stuff I have .... how should I go about it... thx

  • @sheddyanikwe5094
    @sheddyanikwe5094 Рік тому

    👍

  • @DanielRodriguez-nt8hk
    @DanielRodriguez-nt8hk Місяць тому

    I've been stumbling upon pics of my ex. She is taking these great pics they are heavily filtered but she looks so much better. But it is so recent