Reject your EX Properly and they will OBSESS Over You Constantly

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  • Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
  • Reject Your E Properly and they will Obsess over you constantly
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 321

  • @blacademic
    @blacademic  Рік тому +8

    Thanks for watching! To book a 1 on 1 coaching session, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj

  • @mamabear71234
    @mamabear71234 9 місяців тому +59

    Relationships are alot of work. The older i get the less effort im willing to put in.

  • @amareu3133
    @amareu3133 7 місяців тому +53

    The frustrating thing about this is to get to a place where this stuff works is to truly move on from your ex. And once you've moved on you dont want them anymore, but that's exactly when they will want you. It seems unfair.

    • @johannesolofsson221
      @johannesolofsson221 3 місяці тому +4

      Then u just abuse them like they did to you

    • @amareu3133
      @amareu3133 3 місяці тому +4

      @@johannesolofsson221 At that point I don't even care enough for that to be a desirable option. Time is precious and life is too short. I'm on to the next.

    • @TonisScene
      @TonisScene 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@johannesolofsson221omg 🤣

    • @Gbb93
      @Gbb93 2 місяці тому +1

      Not really. They could get married lol. They could find someone when you move on and you both might never speak again. Too many people speak in absolutes. Some exes come back, but I reckon most (by far) do not. They might ask how you are, years down the road, but they might just be curious and have no ulterior motives. I know for a fact my ex won’t ever find a man as handsome and intelligent as me that will want to date her. I’ll sleep comfy every night knowing that I’m dating women way out of her league.

    • @amareu3133
      @amareu3133 2 місяці тому +1

      @@Gbb93 Maybe not for you because people dont want you back in their lives. In my case, it doesnt matter if they move on who they move on with married or not, they always try to come back.

  • @crystalclimenhage7159
    @crystalclimenhage7159 Рік тому +35

    This is why you ignore breadcrumbs aka insignificant texts

    • @MissSarahGM
      @MissSarahGM Рік тому +5

      It's not always easy, because it can come in the form of a phone call, and they are really missing you "in the moment".. So it appears significant. But they disappear for months. I had to learn the hard way, as my avoidant ex did that over 15 months so the last time, I decided to ignore. Although it sounded much more vulnerable than before, but not clear and apologetic enough.

    • @crystalclimenhage7159
      @crystalclimenhage7159 Рік тому +3

      I listen to Lucia the art of love. She says I'd they call and don't leave a message don't respond. She says they must be humble and willing to be vulnerable. It is hard to know what to ignore and not...I'm struggling with it now

    • @MissSarahGM
      @MissSarahGM Рік тому

      @@crystalclimenhage7159 I also listened to her she responded to my specific situation and said it was breadcrumbs. When he was texting way more vulnerable things than before (he's avoidant). I think it depends on the context, and you only know if they are being more real and humble. Context was for me that he called me and we chatted (I was friendly but distant), and he disappeared for months after that. So the 3 rd time, I decided to ignore and listened to Lucia.
      In doubt it's better to ignore as so many dumpers come from an ego place when they reach out, and are still undecided. But if it sounds "real" and it's not a pattern of bread crumbing, I would respond but with caution and keep my cards close to my chest.

  • @Smoking_Lofi
    @Smoking_Lofi 10 місяців тому +48

    Listen coach Blac, when my ex started to apologize for "hurting me" at the dinner table, I simply stopped her and said "Hey, shit happens right?" smiled, and ordered us both a drink. Chatted about her life a bit, kept myself mysterious. By the end of that evening she asked me "how did you get so smart?" and was all over me. Just politely tell them you aren't interested in being pitied. You have value!

    • @ChandlerBinh
      @ChandlerBinh 8 місяців тому +1

      How did you get so smart? Easy! Copped all this gear at WalMart. *hands her a pop tart*

  • @chubbatheBOSS
    @chubbatheBOSS Рік тому +60

    The movie Groundhog Day perfectly illustrates this role reversal of runner and chaser. At first, Phil the main character idolizes this woman and obsesses over getting her, and she keeps rejecting him because he hasn’t worked on himself and doesn’t see his own value. Eventually he repeatedly tries to kill himself and eventually his attitude changes and he starts investing in himself. He learns a lot of new skills and spends time away from her. Then she starts chasing him and the roles reverse. He is respectful to her but declines some of her advances later as he sees his true value. Then in the end, they do a play Christmas auction to bid on the single men, and a bunch of women fight over him, and the leading lady pays every penny she has to win the bid at the auction to get him. This shows how much his value has increased since he stopped chasing women/seeking validation and worked on himself. Then as the dynamic becomes more secure, there is true love between them and they get together and live happily ever after.

    • @assplundah
      @assplundah 9 місяців тому +2

      Great analogy!👍👌

    • @alchemicalsoul
      @alchemicalsoul 7 місяців тому +2

      That's the whole "twin flame" phenomenon.

  • @JeanGaper
    @JeanGaper 2 дні тому +2

    Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @salaxander8258
      @salaxander8258 5 годин тому

      Same here man. 5 years is so many memories. So much time for someone to up and leave. For me I get hit with “I don’t see you in my future anymore and I have been crushing on someone else” I tried to fix it n it left me broken. But it gets better. I moved n got a new job. It’s helped but it doesn’t stop the flow of memories. You will see her in everyone, everywhere. But get to know new people. Pick up a part time job at a local store or restaurant. You have a void to fill so might as well fill it with as much opportunity to better yourself as u can get. Go no contact and give it time. If she is the one who wronged you. Then the chances are higher she comes back. Just be prepared for the possibility. I hope you get better soon man.

  • @alexandermcfarlane7609
    @alexandermcfarlane7609 Рік тому +16

    Guys this is 100% true I experienced this first hand and yes I rejected them when they came running back.

  • @tinashemaramba1472
    @tinashemaramba1472 Рік тому +20

    After 4months of no contact she finally reached out and unblocked me. Guys no contact really works, she confessed a lot of things and asked me to forgive her for her to find peace

  • @producerx1015
    @producerx1015 9 місяців тому +21

    My ex wife ghosted me a month ago Christmas day she calls begging to see me at 3am. We had Great sex she called me 10 times the next day i didn't answer. We can end on that note 😂

    • @bladimiragurcia4720
      @bladimiragurcia4720 8 місяців тому

      GANGSTA SH*** THATS WHAT I DID, 🤣🤣 I even took the “back door” on her

    • @timpierce1967
      @timpierce1967 8 днів тому

      Lol😂😂 nice

    • @michaella5799
      @michaella5799 2 дні тому

      Pump and dump and return to streets, lol.

  • @mruglyhands3064
    @mruglyhands3064 Рік тому +58

    Sooo it took 90 days but she is back I did everything you said in all your videos!!! She left me for a rebound and he dogged her ass out but she was acting like she was happy 24/7….so I started working out got my body super right got a way better paying second job and was truly loving and living my best life and when we did see each other it was me always happy and smiling! But 2 weeks ago I get a call and it’s her crying!!! Long story short the new guy was not what she thought…so now the ball is back in my court but thanks black you the best

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Рік тому +10

      Awesome bro! Stay on your square and keep leading things

    • @G2daG
      @G2daG Рік тому +2

      What a great feeling

    • @davidpicarazzi
      @davidpicarazzi Рік тому +3

      How did you respond to her saying that the new guy wasn’t what she expected?

    • @alchemicalsoul
      @alchemicalsoul Рік тому +18

      She's likely back to soothe her wounds. I would keep on moving.

    • @scholli99
      @scholli99 9 місяців тому +13

      Bro ignore her
      She will leave you again

  • @T9naya
    @T9naya 4 місяці тому +7

    I like being by myself now

  • @bksson2818
    @bksson2818 3 місяці тому +4

    Brother blac, you're 100% correct.

  • @nina_summers
    @nina_summers Рік тому +40

    I ended it up with my situationship and we had sit down heart to heart talk. Hugged it out and said our goodbyes. It felt like this heavy feeling was lifted from my chest. I cried so hard after that then days after I’m good.

    • @ryanf7821
      @ryanf7821 Рік тому +2

      How do you feel now?

    • @MdMoniruzzaman-uw9iq
      @MdMoniruzzaman-uw9iq 11 місяців тому +7

      This is exactly what most people want. The breakup should be like this, not by ignoring or ghosting others.

  • @jaunitolee4999
    @jaunitolee4999 Рік тому +25

    Lol blocked her, it's a month now still in no contact. Guess what the relationship was exalted because of me, I brough happiness into her life, so now that is gone. She decided to left, I still doing fine, have my light, got God on my side. There's a lot of fish in the sea and guess who is the fisherman? Me 😅

  • @rashidarowe7882
    @rashidarowe7882 Рік тому +244

    With all due respect coach, some ex's make up in their mind they are done with you and want to move on, In life sometimes people out grow us whether we like it or not. Hope is a beautiful thing but reality and logic must set in. As hard as it is just try to move on, just make it one day at a time til you're feeling more healed than hurt.

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Рік тому +294

      Whether they move on or not, if you want them back or not, you must let them go. I have said in multiple videos, no contact is not about forcing anything. Allow them to come to you. And if they don’t, your mindset should be, it is still for the best

    • @jabraisiahbrown6350
      @jabraisiahbrown6350 Рік тому +2

      ​@@blacademichi how do I talk to you one on one

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Рік тому +8

      @@jabraisiahbrown6350click the first link in the description to see my availability

    • @crystalclimenhage7159
      @crystalclimenhage7159 Рік тому +4

      ​@blacademic I hear one dating coach that also says to ignore breadcrumbs until they say something significant...because they reach out and when you respond they will ignore you. My ex reached put 2.weeks ago and I haven't responded and now I'm anxious. He didn't do a clean break uo tho. How do I get a coaching session with you?

    • @adenizenabroad9593
      @adenizenabroad9593 10 місяців тому +9

      100 percent but sometimes those people confirm that decision themselves in their head but when communicating with the other person they leave it up in the air by saying things like “for now it’s best we remain single, but who knows what the future holds” obviously I’m speaking from personal experience lol but transparency and clear cut communication “that it’s over for good” is better than stringing someone along.

  • @milasartfulness
    @milasartfulness Рік тому +48

    This human being game is so horrible.

  • @chappiev1165
    @chappiev1165 8 місяців тому +9

    She asked me how are you i said im good.. and thats great!! Oh well ill stop bothering you i said okay
    She said ok. Then blocked me 😂

  • @Goodwillwinoverevil1984
    @Goodwillwinoverevil1984 Рік тому +22

    If they truly loved you they wouldn't have broken up with you in the first place, that's my philosophy on it. But love is not enough he (my ex) would say, well I would have to disagree with that! It IS enough if you make it enough!

  • @christelle8572
    @christelle8572 Рік тому +14

    I rejected so hard the breadcrumbs my ex gave me OVER the course of a few months. Our second breakup felt like a relief since I cried so much when the 1rst breakup happened !Being always there for her wasn't enough, she needed to have her ego flattered, well that's fine. I told her my truth the harsh way, wasn't the most intelligent way to do it regarding my choice of words but since she is the type to not so any introspection about herself as to why most of her other exes reacted the same way I did, I come to the realisation she won't change any time soon and so, I think I did it the way it was supposed to happen. I watch those videos to help on my journey. It has been been a few months now since complete SR and I am feeling more and more at peace with myself.

  • @chisomoffor6877
    @chisomoffor6877 Рік тому +19

    I’m not sure I wanna go back to them , but I still love them but I don’t wanna go through that pain again and my ego is still hurt and hanging on . I feel like I just what the satisfaction of them knowing they lost me, not because I want them back and that’s not a good feeling

    • @jai771985
      @jai771985 Рік тому +1

      Yeah , atleast we should get that much … its very hurting losing ur loved one’s .

    • @kimberbites
      @kimberbites Рік тому +6

      Time is your best bet. Time and patience. You'll feel better. IF they choose to come back round and you're treating them as more of a friend and not rushing to reply, being happy but kinda nonchalant, then you'll also see if you even truly want that. Often we end up either not wanting them back, or they don't come back, and better comes along so we end up really glad they didn't. Love isn't enough. Respect and being treated well is.

    • @jai771985
      @jai771985 Рік тому +2

      @@kimberbites i want get rid of her …. Kind of revenge . Dont want her in life anymore . But my heart wont ready to accept that i dont want her. Not able to stop thinking about her

  • @thegreenentertainment2291
    @thegreenentertainment2291 8 місяців тому +8

    Anytime i want to break my no contact rule, you are always there to talk sense into me. Thank you

    • @PeeWeeDaOg
      @PeeWeeDaOg 5 місяців тому +1

      No cap I feel the same way. It's been 3 days no contact I know it's not long at all but it's major 4 me

    • @derekenlow7607
      @derekenlow7607 4 місяці тому

      ​@PeeWeeDaOg any update?

    • @DRAKGG3
      @DRAKGG3 2 місяці тому

      @@PeeWeeDaOgupdate bro?

  • @danisash2750
    @danisash2750 Рік тому +54

    Rejecting my "husband" who left me 8 months ago then returned but still sleeping in separate rooms is like forcing a vegan to eat red meat. I just want my husband back😥😥.

    • @kayleighsmith8623
      @kayleighsmith8623 Рік тому +2

      Same! But he moved out 😢

    • @nina_summers
      @nina_summers Рік тому +4

      Me and my husband sleeping in separate rooms too

    • @fire12731
      @fire12731 Рік тому +4

      Hugs for all of you. 😢😢

    • @Goodwillwinoverevil1984
      @Goodwillwinoverevil1984 Рік тому +4

      Glad you even MADE it that far into your relationship. Good luck honey.

    • @babydii3487
      @babydii3487 9 місяців тому

      God bless your marriages ♥️♥️♥️

  • @ernestugbebor656
    @ernestugbebor656 Рік тому +24

    Wow! I got a text at 1am saying I miss you 😂

    • @glorytoGod0207
      @glorytoGod0207 Рік тому +2

      Wow nice brother. How long did you apply no contact?

    • @Vampiriac
      @Vampiriac Рік тому

      @@glorytoGod0207Mine literally contacts me from time to time while being with a rebound. Wanted another chance, rejected and wanted to be friends later down the road, and got rejected again. 😂

    • @ernestugbebor656
      @ernestugbebor656 Рік тому

      @@glorytoGod0207 almost 2 months

    • @Ericgodisgood
      @Ericgodisgood Рік тому +2

      I’ve been in no contact for a long time bro I wish I can use a spell to get her back

    • @ernestugbebor656
      @ernestugbebor656 Рік тому +6

      Stick to No Contact, it works. By then, you’ll probably not be interested any longer.

  • @pinkcamille80
    @pinkcamille80 Рік тому +7

    Then you say "ah ah ah a relationship is no longer on the table" made me laugh.😂. Thanks for the advice. ❤️

  • @fitforfreelance
    @fitforfreelance Рік тому +7

    Nice video. Elevate to a better version of yourself! There's no go back to how it was because obviously that didn't work

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Рік тому +4

      Always elevate and never chase

  • @dojocho1894
    @dojocho1894 Рік тому +51

    My ex wife after 17 yrs divorced. I was always kind helped her agreed for everything she wanted then one day she just went off on me for no reason ands told me to lose her number.....I did 2 yrs have gone by never heard from her since. I have colleague who is a psychologist......he said its not that they hate you....its that they hate what they have become.

    • @crystalclimenhage7159
      @crystalclimenhage7159 Рік тому +5

      Sounds like she wad cheating.

    • @CiluhStyle1
      @CiluhStyle1 Рік тому +2

      💯 I can see that

    • @rashidarowe7882
      @rashidarowe7882 Рік тому +2

      I'm sorry to hear this, change happens as we age and people do as well, your wife might have out grew the marriage and wanted something different, it's not right by any means but when people have made their minds up there is nothing we can do about it. I know starting over after 17 years will be a challenge, but I pray she comes to her senses or someone else comes along after all none of us really wants to grow old alone.

    • @CiluhStyle1
      @CiluhStyle1 Рік тому +6

      @@rashidarowe7882 people dont outgrow they just differentiate. "Outgrowing" is a lame excuse to move on from a relationship you just dont think you can do anymore. Same people who say this shit become worse in life and following relationships. It's a fact. Not saying you cant outgrow someone and that it doesn't happen but most times it's a copout.

    • @roshawngreene7069
      @roshawngreene7069 Рік тому +1

      @@CiluhStyle1 exactly what I was just about to say... I glad that I'm not the only one who think that say things like this are full of shit... Frightened little children what they are.

  • @novanewstories1487
    @novanewstories1487 3 місяці тому

    You are full of wisdom my brother.Discovered your channel today and I sorely believe God really wanted you to speak into my life. You have said all that l need to hear to close the dramatic relationship am in.Haven’t had the power to prove my worth.A new chapter here to be written. It’s going to be a slow ride.l am so excited for my future self.Thanks so very for all you do.

  • @babie4085
    @babie4085 Рік тому +21

    This is very true. Saw my ex at a party just this Friday and he walked up to me to talk. I told him outrightly I DONT KNOW HIM AND HE SHOULD NOT TALK TO ME so he doesn’t burn my candle. He left the party earlier cos he felt uncomfortable. Guess what? He has sent his whole fam members to be begging me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @bootyjoel
      @bootyjoel Рік тому +14

      Sounds like a very immature way to react on both of your parts. Sounds like a toxic relationship to me

    • @keyyt3492
      @keyyt3492 Рік тому +3

      @@bootyjoelYea I agree. Idk what’s funny about that either. Sounds immature.

    • @_Diaryofwealth
      @_Diaryofwealth 10 місяців тому +2

      Look girl if he hurt you to the bone you did what you did. Immature or not as these people claim, if it makes u feel good that's it.

    • @producerx1015
      @producerx1015 9 місяців тому

      That was horrible 😮

    • @forzatodos9373
      @forzatodos9373 8 місяців тому

      i think thats funny as hell😂😂😂

  • @Rad_Dad_Army
    @Rad_Dad_Army Рік тому +1

    My girlfriend said doesn't want to get back with me i said its cool i understand and wish you all the best goodbye x. I feel so proud listening to you makes me feel empowered so i feel amazing just secured a 80000 a year job my lifes on the up her total lose.thank you so much your videos are amazing

  • @lixiaoxuan8223
    @lixiaoxuan8223 6 місяців тому

    I wish I made the effort to search for advice 6 months ago. I am glad that I find your videos.

  • @antoinettecroker6384
    @antoinettecroker6384 9 місяців тому +1

    Thank you. You give me not only wisdom but power. I’m a lady of a more mature age. Wish I would have known about you sooner

  • @kaylee.loves.
    @kaylee.loves. 5 місяців тому +1

    Yes of course there are more opportunities but it’s not the person u wanted to be with. It’s not that person u wanted to end up with.

  • @tyronnemburu9741
    @tyronnemburu9741 Рік тому +4

    My girl left me after 5 years of being together she told me that she realised that at my age i cannot treat her how she wants to be treated and that she doesnt want to be understanding anymore. Im honestly struggling with this cz i have sacrificed so much for her and her family. At times id even go broke so that id meet her needs. I feel so bad cz i was so vested in the relationship i love her so much. 2 days after our break up she moved on with this older guy and i saw her posting she was on vacation . It really hurts me so much knowing we had plans for the future together but she just left and moved on that quickly. I honestly dont know what to do, been crying by myself trying to absorb all this shock

    • @leratoseretsi5603
      @leratoseretsi5603 8 місяців тому +2

      I'm sorry, you will get someone who deserves you,she will regret later but that's none of your business

  • @francescoitalianman7305
    @francescoitalianman7305 10 місяців тому +2

    Coach blac..thanks for your help....you're among the best YT coaches!!! You're one of my 2 preferred coaches among the dozens on YT 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @cynthiajordan7511
    @cynthiajordan7511 Рік тому +1

    Never need anyone 🔑

  • @vipercapital6987
    @vipercapital6987 Рік тому +4

    It’s always great to see and hear that an Ex who dumped someone will beg to come back. But I’m reality, most woman and some men leave after they already monkey branched to someone else. When that happens they most likely will not come back. Women leave a relationship 80% of the time. They’ve been thinking about it as coach said for months. Although they regret it, what’s the time they do not come back. It’s sad but it’s true.

    • @sams517
      @sams517 Рік тому

      What does monkey branching mean?

    • @ItsReallyGoingOn
      @ItsReallyGoingOn Рік тому

      @@sams517just hopping to another relationship

  • @Ms.SelfFabulous
    @Ms.SelfFabulous 5 місяців тому +1

    You also have to realize that mental health illness issues are very real. To want a person to be obsesseing over you definitely falls in that category. They basically are stalkers. Once you break up with a person, things aren't ever going to be the same. You aren't ever going to get those feelings again. We have to face reality when the relationship has ran it's course.

  • @williegroden1505
    @williegroden1505 Рік тому +5

    One of your best videos, thank you for these. They are really helping me, been no contact about a month now, first couple weeks was limited contact though, short text about a bill we had together is all, but complete no contact for 2 weeks now. She asked a mutual friend how I was doing end of last week.

  • @goodlord420
    @goodlord420 Рік тому +3

    This is the problem that I’m going through now I reacted to all the breadcrumbs by chasing, and when I try to be strong and say, I can’t just be her friend and end the conversations. She guilt trip me back into it then I end up chasing some more recently, she said we need to at least date other people after I told her I don’t wanna see her with somebody else. That’s why I can’t be friends and she told me she didn’t want to see me with anybody else either. She also has expressed that she’s jealous of everything I do, and whoever I’m with, and that, even though we’re not together, she will always be jealous.

    • @nova12332
      @nova12332 Рік тому +2

      At least ur getting that even tho thats toxic as hell. Mine dont even want to be with me anymore

    • @goodlord420
      @goodlord420 Рік тому

      @@nova12332 tbh as hopeful as it is sometimes. I was doing better when she wasnt reaching out, I was actually just ready to move on with my life. Then she started texting every two days and had me come over for sex, constantly says she needs me and wants to have sex. But now all of a sudden she thinks im seeing other people because i try to stay busy but wont do nth with me. And hits me with the whole “we need to at least try to date other people” but shes “not really interested tbh” then two days later posts a pic of herself looking like shes dressed for a date and is hearting and reacting to some dudes pics and posts that kind of looks similar to me. Now its been 4 days since i last heard from her… shit got me fucked up

    • @alchemicalsoul
      @alchemicalsoul Рік тому +1

      You need to focus on healing yourself.

  • @rockybalboa8543
    @rockybalboa8543 2 місяці тому

    every situation is different, with different factors. nearly 4 weeks, she broke it off with me, just out the blue, but she has stress issues with work and other things, that impacted us, her age and maybe hormones etc.. a few months before everything was ok.. now her feeling changed towards me.. there are other factors as well, that i said we can sort out, but she said its too late, but i dont believe it. i didnt do the no contact rule, i pleaded my case, rang and emailed every other day. but now going to leave it alone, but all very strange. stress imo has caused her to reevalute everything in her life. but lke you have said blac, its how they feel in this moment. hopefully it subsides. its so hard to deal with 😢

  • @rosiecebreros2941
    @rosiecebreros2941 Рік тому +4

    My ex reach out after 2 months talking about how much he miss me and love and life wasn’t the same with out me I rejected him because he will say if you like to talk we can. I didn’t belive he was genuine so I rejected him two weeks later my friend saw him in public with a girl holding hands is so heart breaking I’m sure he moved on and will never call again.

    • @c-fo3335
      @c-fo3335 Рік тому +3

      Guys are straight up-you either want it, or you dont. You play games while we are very literal and will say damn, i tried-next.

  • @schizophreniahxc
    @schizophreniahxc 14 днів тому

    Your best video yet

  • @robpz448
    @robpz448 Рік тому +8

    No they wont. Get over it. They dont give a shit period. And my ex contacted me 3 times after i went silent but its all bs.

    • @STARSENMT
      @STARSENMT Рік тому +1

      Lmao

    • @STARSENMT
      @STARSENMT Рік тому +1

      Damn bro

    • @robpz448
      @robpz448 Рік тому

      @STARSENMT women are full of shit, after male energy and they seek constant attention. When you cut off their supply of attention they crave , they die.

    • @SantiXiAmaru
      @SantiXiAmaru 5 місяців тому

      Everybody situation isn't the same. Look at your own shit for what it is and leave it at that. All you're doing is exposing your own weakness through your perspective on life since you let them define who you are.

  • @mistyruiz9509
    @mistyruiz9509 5 місяців тому

    you give really good advise..and im taking notes.My ex broke up with ne and came back to me in 31 days and he wants to move fast and get back with me but however im being reserve and making sure he earns me back.i love your videos

  • @katiesmile11
    @katiesmile11 Рік тому +8

    Another great video Coach Sending gratitude and well wishes from Katie in NY ( we did private sessions a few times)

    • @fire12731
      @fire12731 Рік тому

      That’s terrific Katie. This channel is great. I hope all worked out well for you. I’m in NY too. I worked with a different coach myself.

  • @J3nnycat
    @J3nnycat 11 місяців тому +4

    What about situations where the person who initiated the breakup had no other choice, because the other person refused to change their toxic behavior? Most the videos seem to be to help the person who's been dumped, not the other way around
    I tried with my ex of 5 years to feel emotionally safe with him so I can be open without him dismissing my feelings, telling me i'm crazy, and gaslighting me. Nothing worked. I had to call it off, had no other choice. We even tried couple's therapy, and still no growth. I know he still wants a relationship with me, but he's the type to tell me he loves me, then follow it up with "you stupid b*tch" . Not sure if he'll change...most people by now i think would've had some type of realization that their ways aren't gonna work?

    • @gemmaburns6407
      @gemmaburns6407 11 місяців тому +1

      Plz tell me how your getting on, I’m in the same situation iv had to let it go, he’s so selfish and doesn’t know how to show real love and affection, things he says just hurts and I’m meant to stay around, my relationship is 4yrs! I think he’s emotionally unavailable it’s so hard work xx

  • @slowmo7219
    @slowmo7219 Рік тому +1

    Best coach in the business

  • @gertwallen
    @gertwallen Рік тому +33

    If you reach the point that you deeply and sincerely don't fear losing your ex then it means you don't love her/him. Fear in itself is not something bad or a sign of weakness, weakness is letting fear control your actions.

    • @alchemicalsoul
      @alchemicalsoul Рік тому +12

      I disagree. When you have balanced your own energy, you stop fearing loss. You learn to accept it. Love is a force. We use the energy of love to act. When someone acts in love towards us, we do the same in kind. People choose to stay to experience that exchange. We don't have to fear them leaving.

    • @musicncmx5303
      @musicncmx5303 Рік тому +8

      This is a recipe for getting cheated on and never finding out. Anyone afraid of losing a partner will put up with anything for fear of losing them

    • @Goodwillwinoverevil1984
      @Goodwillwinoverevil1984 Рік тому +1

      Fear is good when it can stop you from doing something bad.

  • @GentiluomoStraniero
    @GentiluomoStraniero 8 місяців тому +1

    When my ex decided I wasn't good enough, i let go. I don't go back. Let's assume things were perfect when you met and she moved on. She'll do it again.

  • @kettalive1355
    @kettalive1355 9 місяців тому +1

    Let them go and move on

  • @mv3325
    @mv3325 10 місяців тому

    I feel like self improvement in terms of money does wonders for men and their exes but for women it’s more complicated.

  • @marlap.9304
    @marlap.9304 2 місяці тому

    Fantastic advice and it makes all the sense! Thanks very much!

  • @anniealmas2315
    @anniealmas2315 8 місяців тому +1

    Thank you I needed to hear this because I am there he rejected me and I literally just paid my home off my job wants me to manage but I’ve said no for now I am getting my lips done and some Botox for the first time ever and I got compliments on my hair color 3 times today. A massive load was taken off my shoulders by not having a mortgage and since we have kids I guess he’s noticed. He flat out rejected me last year so I stopped all interaction. This is someone I truly loved. I mean 12 years is a long time to go back and fourth. Now he’s calling me everyday usually regarding the kids but unnecessary even made it sound like it was life or death for my daughters science project and literally had me over to use a glue stick she’s 10 she could of done that her self. I’m mad I fell for it. I know he’s going to call tonight he’s been calling the last two weeks. I’m just not gonna answer.

  • @micahrutland9021
    @micahrutland9021 8 місяців тому +1

    I know that my ex who dumped me and treated me very disrespectfuly is gonna try to come back one day after I'm a successful musician. (She floated the idea 3 seperate times during our breakup conversation getting back with me a few years down the road from now after we've both worked on ourselves) I hope so bad I tell her no. She would deserve it. She's put me thru so much grief.

  • @alexandrulupu725
    @alexandrulupu725 Рік тому +2

    it's very good advice, very counterintuitive.

    • @GaryEnsign
      @GaryEnsign Рік тому

      He can help you get your x back.....❤😊

  • @jeaneengant6771
    @jeaneengant6771 Рік тому +3

    Thanks Coach.. again your videos helped my thru my breakup.. it’s been 5months.. after 4 I started talking to him again.. then stopped .. after the last text to him he won’t be reaching out.. I’m good

  • @Mastergamernerd1
    @Mastergamernerd1 5 місяців тому +1

    They're weird and I don't love none of them. How can you express that too them?

  • @pooh1507
    @pooh1507 5 місяців тому

    Great! This really gave me a wake up call thanks coach❤

  • @kellyseager8163
    @kellyseager8163 11 місяців тому +1

    One problem that guy constantly encounter is that I am not perceived as being high value guy… And my recently departed ex is a high-powered lady. I don’t feel like I can do better than her, because I never have attracted women like that. That makes this situation, specifically different, and a much greater challenge.
    Yes, I am going no contact, and I love your videos, and they are very helpful, but my situation seems to be quite specific, and I’m not convinced that I can easily convey that I have options. Because I don’t. Never have.

    • @truthsmiles
      @truthsmiles 11 місяців тому

      I think coach would say that’s why she left you… because you’re exuding pity for yourself.
      Believe me, I know what it’s like to do that. I’ve been begging and groveling now for weeks and I’m done now. She was attracted to me for years for SOME reason. It’s my job to get back there, and be even better than that.
      You do the same, and either she or someone even better will come along. Believe in yourself - I do!

    • @kellyseager8163
      @kellyseager8163 11 місяців тому

      @@truthsmiles
      Coaches may say that, but I don’t believe it to be true. This lady didn’t leave me because I am exerting pity for myself. I think she left me because she feels pity for herself, and thinks that eventually I am going to discover her weaknesses, and then leave her. That’s a very different kind of challenge. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, as well.

  • @MegasTeque
    @MegasTeque Рік тому +6

    Followed all of Coach Blacks advice to a T, literally done everything taught from the get-go since day one of the breakup...7 months tomorrow and still have heard nothing.

    • @journeyomega7193
      @journeyomega7193 Рік тому +1

      You haven't truly moved on. Focus on working on yourself, No contact is more for you to heal , to let go and move on. Don't give up trust in the process.

    • @jlady1595
      @jlady1595 Рік тому +2

      I agree, you haven’t moved on yet. 7 months is a long time. What got me over it was the fact that he didn’t see my value and I know what I bring to the table. I don’t take offense to the break up as he wasn’t ready for it. I know the connection we have but we both have work to do to even be together again.

    • @MegasTeque
      @MegasTeque Рік тому

      @@journeyomega7193 Oh I've been focusing on other things, new job, new apartment, been building a passion project I've been working on for decades...I never begged, never was needy, was always encouraging, I always listened and never ever ever raised my voice, and nothing, not a peep.

    • @MegasTeque
      @MegasTeque Рік тому

      @@jlady1595 just for clarification, who are you, your handle is something familiar

  • @jameswilcox8920
    @jameswilcox8920 Рік тому

    Dear coach Black that message was the bom bro !

  • @IceChampakaWolf888
    @IceChampakaWolf888 Рік тому +1

    Much Love from Kenya

  • @tane6394
    @tane6394 10 місяців тому +2

    I done no contact after weeks of back and forwarding with my Ex,I made the decision I need to let her go, she messaged me a week later saying she missed me which I wasn’t expecting at all , I ended up slipping back into pursuing mode and pushed her away again, I don’t feel like there will be another chance! 👎🏼

  • @_TJ_.
    @_TJ_. Рік тому +1

    We moved a bit too fast. Got a place together and she was not ready for that. But, she didn’t communicate that with me. So, we moved in. During the first week she wasn’t being herself. Saying she was overwhelmed and things of that nature. So eventually she lied about speaking with another male co worker outside of work. I confronted her about it and asked what’s going on. She came clean said they were just talking and nothing went down at all. She was giving him a females perspective on his issues. Next thing you know she is addressing things with the guy the next week and let him know she was in a relationship with me. Then the next day she says she needs space and is talking to this guy again smh. I blew her phone up and was obviously upset. But, she is saying the way I reacted wasn’t cool and wasn’t right. But when I confronted her about lying to me I forgave her out of love. So this past week we broke up. Now I have to move again.

  • @zlatanibrahimovic5746
    @zlatanibrahimovic5746 Рік тому +2

    There are so many videos that speaks to the dumpee. Would love to see videos that speaks to the dumper.

    • @MissSarahGM
      @MissSarahGM Рік тому +3

      It is much easier. You got all the power, now you need to approach the dumpee with humility, vulnerability, and ask to talk or meet up. You express regret and prove you've understood the mistake and have grown. You apologise. The worst thing would be breadcrumbing and expecting Dumpee to get the hint and do the work. Good luck

    • @zlatanibrahimovic5746
      @zlatanibrahimovic5746 Рік тому +1

      @@MissSarahGM I broke up with her because she had some things things that i couldnt accept about her. I did it because i wanted to let her know that i rather be without her than having to deal with those things that bothers me a lot. Unless she changes im not willing to take her back. But how do i know she will change if i reach out to her? Ill take the dumpee approach her and wait for her to contact me if she ever does. And if she doesnt she would never change those things and our relationship wouldnt last. Your thoughts?

    • @MissSarahGM
      @MissSarahGM Рік тому

      @@zlatanibrahimovic5746 I see. If those things are still a dealbreaker for you, and are bad behaviours of hers.. And you have expressed it clearly. Then it's like you are the dumpee, and need to wait for her to contact you. But it really depends what you are talking about here.

    • @zlatanibrahimovic5746
      @zlatanibrahimovic5746 Рік тому

      @@MissSarahGM She likes to dress "slutty" at different occasions, She smokes pot, does not work out and take care of herself, puts almost no effort in our relationship, She expects me to take care of her like a boyfriend and dad at the same time. While she is too lazy to put effort in. Sounds horrible right?

    • @MissSarahGM
      @MissSarahGM Рік тому +1

      @@zlatanibrahimovic5746 Was she this way when you met her? It isn't ideal but it would be worse if she "acted" slutty. If she was this way when you met her and now you don't accept her, it's on you. People only change if they want to. And what you describe is someone who is not doing well psychologically. It's her way of coping. Instead you can inspire to change and "get better" because you care for her. All you can tell her is that you think she needs help and address her depression. It's a more caring perspective and not judging her.
      If all was already said, then you can only wait.

  • @rosalindclemons4529
    @rosalindclemons4529 Рік тому

    This is great information!! Thank you. Right on time.

  • @shivatecs
    @shivatecs Рік тому +11

    A female "peacock" is called a peahen 😁

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  Рік тому +6

      Haha thanks for the education my friend

  • @catdoghedgehog619
    @catdoghedgehog619 9 місяців тому

    I deserve better, but there aint noone my type in my country.

  • @GhostHHost
    @GhostHHost 11 місяців тому

    amazing message

  • @tiffanydockins9863
    @tiffanydockins9863 5 місяців тому

    Amazing coach 🙏

  • @F90Tukole-hi3mo
    @F90Tukole-hi3mo 7 місяців тому

    I love this information ❤🎉❤
    God bless u

  • @adambrown2226
    @adambrown2226 5 місяців тому

    Great video bro I needed that

  • @eringreen5896
    @eringreen5896 6 місяців тому

    Wow wow wow so so powerful x

  • @peterharrison747
    @peterharrison747 Рік тому +2

    Thanks again for great advice Peter UK

  • @johnberry4728
    @johnberry4728 Рік тому +3

    Some how can't see this happening she has put it all over Facebook she is with someone else the thing is we are still married but the truth is they dont care the pain they cause as long as there happy well bloody good luck to her hope it goes tits up rebounds dont work never have and never will do

    • @MAXEY10
      @MAXEY10 Рік тому +3

      Your time to be happy will come too with or without her. Just stay strong and never show the hurt.

  • @gregepps1669
    @gregepps1669 Рік тому +1

    Good morning,
    I really needed to see this video.
    My ex girlfriend friend and I have broken up for 18 months, and she has been in new relationship for over a year.
    However since March, my ex girlfriend and I have been texting and talking on the phone. Matter of fact she has reached out to me on Father's Day and 4th July. On one occasion she asked me, have I thought about her during the break up. She also agreed to meet me for coffee, but she postponed the coffee meet.
    As I mentioned she reached out to me on Father's Day and the 4th July. However my birthday was in July, but she didn't reach out. Matter of fact I haven't heard from her in over 2 weeks.
    I'm so over her!! I've blocked her!! She is so immature!!

    • @davidtisane4163
      @davidtisane4163 Рік тому

      I've been there bro, whenever they reach out it's just to win over your attention and to know where they stand in your life. Hope next time if she reaches out to you maybe with another account That you ignore her

    • @gregepps1669
      @gregepps1669 Рік тому

      @@davidtisane4163 Man it's ridiculous for a 50 year old woman to move like that. I feel sorry for her. Matter of fact, I feel sorry for her new boyfriend. I wonder how he would feel if I showed him those text messages she sent me.

    • @nothingpersonal7855
      @nothingpersonal7855 Рік тому

      ​@@davidtisane4163true🙏👍

  • @thamisomanamela9634
    @thamisomanamela9634 Рік тому +3

    Wow, this is a really great video, it speaks volumes to me. Its true that when in doubt, always look to Coach Blac 👍🏼... My only preoccupation is if it has arrived late in my reconsilliacion journey. I feel like as soon as my ex started reconsidering her choice and reestablishing our relationship, I gave her the whole relationship back. Can anyone give me any advice on how to repair this damage. 😢

    • @Matthew-uf1oh
      @Matthew-uf1oh Рік тому

      Id say its too late but I guess you could try pulling back and seeing where that gets you

  • @Robert-hf6dw
    @Robert-hf6dw Рік тому +1

    If your ex wanted you she wouldn't have dumped you
    And all she has to do if not already is go on dating apps and be showered with people
    Saying they want them but if your good kind and decent then there the horrible one not you

  • @rodzillarox4882
    @rodzillarox4882 Рік тому +1

    I blew my no contact after 24 days. Snt text via telegram app we used to communicate and she ddnt even read it or went to airplane mode and read it with no reply. I should have stayed with the plan. I was trying to reignite a spark the dan bacon way and fell on my head. Unfortunately there are many coaches out there that say to fo no contact and not to leaving with not knowing where to turn. I feel much better watching your vids coach Blac. You are the real deal

    • @crystalclimenhage7159
      @crystalclimenhage7159 Рік тому +2

      Usually.no contact affects the dumper.betweeb days 45-60. You need to go back and start the count all over again and it will take longer . Ignore insignificant texts. On day 30 of no contact post two plates of food and two glasses of wine to mess with her head or a group of guys and girls standing together. D0nt post any relationship.quores

    • @I.E.I.E.
      @I.E.I.E. Рік тому

      @@crystalclimenhage7159
      I did a similar thing and broke no contact after 7 days in.

  • @mronuryilmaz
    @mronuryilmaz Рік тому +3

    My ex text me last saturday night. after 3 months. She asked me are u available. Can i come to you? i said yes and we made sex, sleep together, than she woke up and gone.We didnt talk since that night. Did i do a mistake?

  • @karolinah12
    @karolinah12 2 місяці тому

    What if they left because you did something so wrong they finally realised how many times you took them for granted? Should you then act high & mightly and continue rejecting them ? It may not work, not when you fail to show accountability

    • @JoMama123451234
      @JoMama123451234 26 днів тому

      If this is the case, then apologize if you did something wrong at the breakup snd tell them that you want to work through things together and improve. If they say no then you go NC because at that point you took responsibility and were willing to try and work on it but they still said no. It's now up to them to come back

  • @TigerintheMist
    @TigerintheMist Рік тому

    Great video thank you

  • @tubesurf17
    @tubesurf17 Рік тому +1

    Would u say the opening comment..."love" attraction ",
    Does attachment style knowledge and wisdom have a priority just at " attract her first". I can't turn shxt to gold. Rt now it's shxt. So shine as gold...boom.she comes...now what....implement attachment wisdom. .sorta make sense?

  • @NOVAKAIN-wb1cs
    @NOVAKAIN-wb1cs 2 місяці тому

    He recently left me a week ago....😢....
    I tried I begged...I promised to change everything about myself for him ...I feel IV made a huge mistake.....did I just damage everything to get him back...

  • @bwaen_1404
    @bwaen_1404 Рік тому

    Hi Coach. I had a nasty breakup but used the clean slate message, went into no contact and did the work. Life has been amazing.
    Next week my ex and I are going on a vacation with another couple. This was planned over 6 months ago and cancelling wasn't an option. She texted me after 4 weeks of no contact: saying that she does not want any drama and just a fun time on the vacation. I responded saying the same and left it there. But later at night I was chilling on the rooftop and send a snapchat of that to a couple people, accidentally sending it to her too! Whats next for me towards and during the vacation?

    • @Truthonlyyy
      @Truthonlyyy Рік тому +1

      Keep a positive mind, believe she doesn't care about the snap and that y'all are having a great time

    • @kiddytube3915
      @kiddytube3915 Рік тому +1

      Have fun, and hook up.

  • @patchris1994
    @patchris1994 2 місяці тому

    My ex left me because her new man has plenty of money she adored me but power of other man money shd couldn't resist i look better than him and i am into my fitness her new man over weight but she prefer money instead

  • @Devdesmond1313
    @Devdesmond1313 Рік тому

    2 1/2 month after the break up I don’t think I want her no more but definitely wouldn’t mind heading from her.

  • @robinebneth1946
    @robinebneth1946 8 місяців тому

    Thank you very much

  • @zukiswasiyata101
    @zukiswasiyata101 8 місяців тому +1

    Hi cough he is currently doing that to me and I did just that he told he misses me, what he does he will chart then disappear but I will continue with my no contact then he video calls I ignore get back to him later, wow this staff happens. So what do I do now. I am so excited coz the tables are turning.

  • @koolbeans8292
    @koolbeans8292 Місяць тому

    The background music drowns out your voice!

  • @claudiaranielle
    @claudiaranielle 8 місяців тому

    I cant, because i have a daughter together

  • @orlandabaylis6034
    @orlandabaylis6034 Рік тому

    My partner of 2 years left me 3 weeks ago because he couldn't see a future withnme and my children (not his kids) despite us talking about a future and planning on moving in together. He is already ignoring my emails so i dont think theres much hope of winning him back.

  • @beshirrickymohamudally56
    @beshirrickymohamudally56 Рік тому

    Powerful

  • @cynthiabrown4051
    @cynthiabrown4051 Рік тому

    He has not texted or called but he has sent me cat videos on Instagram about cats 1 or 2xs a week, he knows I love cats lol. I have made no comments about them, don’t really know if I should or not. But I do know he his seeing someone for a little over a month and one of the videos he sent was early on a Monday morning after he posted about a weekend date.

  • @bahar2320
    @bahar2320 Рік тому

    Yes that was my mistake last time and messed and again no contact

  • @davidpicarazzi
    @davidpicarazzi Рік тому +8

    Hey coach. I wanted to ask:
    1. when your ex finally reached back out, at one point is it okay to start discussing the ways in which you’ve changed and things you’ve done to become better?
    2. How should you react if your ex messages you earlier than you expected? Perhaps only a few weeks after the break up or a month
    3. If I was the one who was dumped, should they be the one to initiate the first “date” out again together? Or me?

    • @ThomasP525
      @ThomasP525 Рік тому +12

      1. Show, don’t tell. Talking is you just trying to prove yourself to her. That’s weak behaviour. Trying to prove yourself to someone else just means you view them as superior. You’re putting them on a pedestal. Stop that.
      2. Match the energy. Keep it light-hearted but you must continue to let them pursue. Don’t make it easy for them to come back into your life. They need to earn you back. If you’re too invested then they’ll see you as a pushover.
      3. If you were dumped, they should be working to earn you back. If you feel that they’re becoming more attracted and they haven’t yet asked you on a date, you can suggest a date. But if they’re hesitant or flaky, pull back again. They’re not ready/of low interest.

    • @davidpicarazzi
      @davidpicarazzi Рік тому +1

      @@ThomasP525 this is awesome. Thank you

    • @davidpicarazzi
      @davidpicarazzi Рік тому +1

      @@ThomasP525 hey Thomas, was gonna ask your opinion on this too: if she asks if I’m seeing anyone, what should I say if I’m actually not seeing anyone? Should I say so or just say “it’s not your business” regardless?

    • @ThomasP525
      @ThomasP525 Рік тому +5

      @@davidpicarazzi it’s better to get her to think you’re seeing someone else, even if you’re not, because it raises your value in her eyes. If other women are seen to want you, this actually makes you appear as a more attractive option.
      I would err on the side of mystery and not reveal much in response, should she ask. I’d just say something like “who I’m seeing is not your concern” or simply “that’s not your concern”, and just leave it at that. It’ll keep her guessing (and also that way you’re not outright lying if you’re not).

    • @davidpicarazzi
      @davidpicarazzi Рік тому +2

      @@ThomasP525 Hey Thomas. Firstly, thank you for answering the above questions. I've taken some notes. Secondly, how would you react to this scenario: it's the first date out again. Youre both having a good time. She may or may not be in a rebound. Out of no where she says, "by the way, i dont think we can get back together. we're just so incompatible" (as if shes saying it but deep down doesnt want to) or something like "we're good as friends." "can we just be friends?" What would be a response that could work?
      P.S, would honestly love to send you $5 or something because youve been helpful in answering my questions. Reach out if anything!

  • @TruthAddiction1975
    @TruthAddiction1975 8 місяців тому +1

    No contact definitely works. Ive used it in a couple of different points in my life. Depending on the level of bond that you had with them, it can take anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. You must not reach out in anyway and the first time they hit you up, dont answer back until the next day, and make sure you keep an attitude of you could care less that your talking to them or not when you do, specially if its a text message. Say things like, sorry i didnt get back to you but i was out or i was busy. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY POWER BACK. Before you know it, they will be all about getting together and youll have great make up sex lol. Heres the thing though, healthy relationships should not require "no contact" and more then likely it will go bad again, but atleast you got to hit it again lol. Just remember, expect the person you meet to be who they are when you found them, dont expect them to be who you think they could be. Good luck

  • @JM-bv2mo
    @JM-bv2mo Рік тому +1

    What’s a timeline for someone to reach out if there is one?

  • @sabaalba5528
    @sabaalba5528 8 місяців тому

    Hello coach. Hope this message finds you well. I broke up with my ex a week ago and been in no contact. He reached out to me twice to check on me. Now he messaged me and asked to meet before he move to Texas and I know it’s a true thing. I told him ok. But now my heart aches what is that means. Is this really over? What should I do💔