Its soooo infuriating when you know they know they are lying but if you call them out they will Narc Rage escalate so you're silently forced to swallow their BS with a smile 🙄 like being spoon fed and pretending to like it 🤢
They honestly don't have a soul. I can't fathom what would drive a human to behave like they do. I guess it is a personality disorder, so they're going to be "disordered." It would just help if they weren't also able to lure people in with charm and niceties. It really is the most messed up human state to be in, second only to full psychopathy.
@@JonathanHancocThe Bible states that the earth is around six thousand years old not millions of years old like some of these lying, big bang, “scientists” assert.
Their ego is so fragile that they seek constant validation, they need constant ego stroking and constant positive reinforcement all while they are constantly breaking you down 🤯 Good luck 😓
No offense intended, but doesn't that also make You a recovering "Enabler"? One who also provides what every Narc's in need of? Especially when the signs of Narc's traits could mimic those of an Opportunist? We're always convinced after escaping (as if a "Fact" )" we're" better off. yet how do we factor the baggage we still carry that prevents Us from the requirement of Vulnerability so we can experience True Love for the first time? As such that endures the test of time and circumstance? Peace to You...
Eventually they are deemed a pathological liar across the board and you stop caring if its true or not. Just accept when their lips are moving lies are spewing 🙄
YeSSSSSSS When you notice a consistent language pattern that directly contradicts their non compliant behaviour 👀 Listen to their actions and disregard their words of promise
from video: most important takeaway was: "narcs rarely confess. the goal isn't to get them to admit the truth. the goal is for you to decipher the truth beneath their lies." 4:20 if lying was a paid job, many narcissists would be billionaires. when you catch a narcissist in a lie, it's funny though, that they end up way madder than you. narcs will (next to) never admit liability especially where there are consequences involved. one comeback to deal with the narcissist that i've used is to ask them "why do you think it's in my best interest to believe what you're suggesting?" this question reveals that what they're telling you is not in your best interest at all. i've had my own personal experience narcs and their flying monkeys, and this question has worked every time. a comeback i've used to call out the nose-growing pinocchio narc: "lying about me doesn't change the truth about you". their face then turns several deeper shades of tomato red. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
In my experience never waste your time asking a devil “why” ? anything - because they’ll not tell you the truth anyway ever! I liked the other thing you said about lying about me doesn’t change the truth about you ! Now that can be used and with results! ❤❤❤ cheers from Scotland
I had an issue with my ex where she lied about credit card usage and clothes shopping( of course, for herself) when we were really broke. Not only did she get me to doubt myself and apologize for ever doubting her, but she tried to get me groveling and, all the while, she was lying. Another one of her tricks was to admit to past lies in order to validate that at the moment she was telling the truth. I've gone no contact and our son lives with me by his choice. Only now can I clearly see what a people pleaser I was.
Happier than ever? No contact for nine years! At year five he stalked me out and suggested marriage. Talk about nuts! I said, "Sounds like a bait and switch.". Shut that down. He also said, "I have been through a lot of trauma and I take it out on the people around me." Talk about an affirmation. No apology, just a childish excuse or a justification. Either way, no way, no how, no more... My kid cut him off after he "helped" her move. He insulted, yelled at, embarrassed and frightened. Then he called me up and told me out kid was a little s#$t. His rant was recorded and sent to me. The s#@t was big and it was him! Too bad for him! The kid is terrific!
There is someone I watched on UA-cam (can't remember his name), but I always remember his message. He said, "Have you ever been in a conversation where you can't tell where the threat is coming from?" It's said in a "pleasant" tone, but your body system is off and going about all over the place because you feel the threat from that other person but you can't quite place it and you're not quite sure - that, is manipulation. You can be sure of your gut.
All true. Good analogy re the balloon. I've found though if you try to peg them, pinpoint, ask for specifics, they don't have any and just blow off onto some other generality. Like boxing with a shadow. Don't bother. They can't change so cutting ties is the best solution.
You're coming into your own Meadow. Your personality and confidence has increased tremendously over the months. Great job and your videos are professional and very accurate. Thank you for your hard work and information.
Meadow, each and every one of your videos about narcissism are like beacons in this dark ocean of self-centered posers. I'm always taken aback by your excellent scripts because they can really make me see right through this intricate matrix of abuse, manipulation and control that most normal people are virtually always exposed to without even knowing. I've just taken the red pill at 40, so I know I still have a lot to learn. However, like many survivors out there, I've come to realize that, in the end, these impostors are not that intelligent due to the fact that, in order to hunt for supply or while eating their prey so they can continuously inflate their precious but hollow balloon, they end up inevitably exposing their true nature. Thank you very much for sharing your amazing work!
Once you have endured the pain of having a narcissist in your life you will be able to recognise the signs in others, Alarm bells will be ringing so loud they will be deafening!!
They are so good at weaving their web, hoping to keep us in a confused state of mind.. And if we call them out on it. Wow! I finally walked away and after healing and deliverance, I now have peace 🕊️ Im grateful to be free; going on 7 years 🙌❤️
Congruent is the exact word that's been in my head for the last week regarding my sister. "When people show you who they are, believe them." -Maya Angelou
They sometimes lie about unimportant things, telling you the weather is good while it’s not boosts them in relation to you since they now know something that you don’t
YES! Lies of omission, lies, secrets We were having problems true. Still Mine didn't share 3 graduations speeches city state region & even nationals in Las Vegas . Because I demanded a morning and before going to sleep call we argued & I'm blocked all week. For some reason she took 12 new VS pretty panties I questioned her about. She said "Oh, girls always over PACK" maybe get over PACKED . By The Thunder Down Under. Male Strippers Team They stayed in same hotel. Why would an all young girls teams coaches or organizers book a hotel with male strippers. Watching them bring their work home with them. Hear through wall with a glass.. I know. It was just my turn😕. 🖕🪖🖕🦺🖕💍 🌬️🍆🪖. 🙈🤬🤳💅🐰🥂 🍾 The Dick-O'Mighty has a spell on her Anyways "It's All been a PACK of lies"
I don't bother asking all those questions. I will just cut ties or ignore them. Don't want to waste my time or add stress to my life. But thanks to the tips of appearing bored to their self-praised. And I learnt from this video that narcissit needs external validation. No wonder he will appear once in a while telling sad tales to gain pity.
There's a reason #4. Everything must be a lie, extremely obfuscated, or kept entirely secret just in case they need to rewrite a new past. So, reason #4 is "just in case they need to rewrite history or create a new narrative".
Mine makes sure that all questioning gets cut off from the get go. He either answers my questions with an attitude/begrudgingly tone, or he just deflects with more questions. Saying things like, "why are you always questioning me". Or he just says things like, "see this is what I'm talking about, I'm always doing something wrong, you blame me for everything, but you never take accountability, and you act like you do no wrong. And I get confused! Saying as little as possible is the best move. For mine, it keeps him happy. If I act like I don't have needs/wants, I don't have opinions, I don't have a say in the matter, I don't have questions, and I don't talk about myself, everything suddenly becomes peaceful for him, at the expense of my happiness. So I hold it all in until I explode and then he has dirt to hold over my head. He does worry when I finally get completely quiet and then says "see this is the problem, you never talk anymore. You stopped trying! You aren't communicating healthy like I am!" It's crazy making. When I get grey rock, as long as I respond to him talking about himself 24/7, with short validating answers, even if I'm noticeably detached, he is completely okay with that. Half the time he's gone, or when he's at home, he is on his phone most of the time having no issues talking with other people ad watching videos pretending I don't exist. Then when he finally does acknowledge ny existence, it's to talk about himself or complain about somebody. Or asking me when I'm gonna start dinner. Sure honey, I'll start dinner right after I clean the kitchen up because I'll cook and then have to clean also.
I just found you today. I have to say that I am REALLY enjoying the short, very descriptive videos. I just love the picture you paint with "common" examples of things I believe ALL of us can relate to. Fun stuff.
Yes @meadowdevor, there is so much of "image control and management" in the Cluster B types. It is a multi layered issue and some types get so obsessed trying to convence others that their self delusion is real; and what you state is true, it is superficial and if you are the type to look at the detail and nuance of things you can spot plenty of cracks and inconsistencies to pin them down like a butterfly. Their back stories definitely has no substance, just fluff. Thank you for another good vid. 🥂
Ask them to put it in writing. They hate that. My ex does not text. Got me arrested for sending six texts. Claimed I annoyed him. He called me 56 times in one day on a land line just to be abusive! No problem!
As I struggled with a problem in my life, a trusted friend gave me some perplexing advice. He said I just needed to "grow a pear." I thought, okay, I can do that. So, today I planted 3 pear trees ....... We'll see.
That could be good advice depending on the context. Specificity is a good thing. Even delivering pears as a treat can be done in subtle ways as needed. Make sure you water that tree because growing pears has its nuances and tricks.
Wow! You’re brilliant 🤯. I am SO lucky I found your channel. I’ve educated myself on this topic over the last several years, and your channel offers the icing on the cake for my healing journey. Thank you ❤️🩹
These persons are DANGEROUS. Cut no one any slack, or you may learn the hard way. Persons with character will not play sociopathic games. Take your time "always".
This is a truly powerful video! I had a gf who said a couple times early on that she was afraid I’d wake up one day & see how ugly she was. Tragically I stayed for nearly a year after that day struggling to the brink with the contradiction within me of who I wanted her to be and who she demonstrated she was in reality. A huge part of being able to move on was realizing that I was responsible for the mistake of staying after that day. And I’m as sure of tomorrow’s sunrise as I am that she will never admit to any of the lies, let alone tell the truth of what happened on the days in question.
My god. You have just described my husband to the T so to speak. You are such an intelligent young lady. I absolutely love your advice for us as preventative measures so we can truly know and begin to understand on these plain and simply nasty folks. Thank you so very very much for sharing some of your wonderful wisdom with us all. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😊🥰🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
The challenge is, when you ask a narcissist to clarify they'll either start blustering so that the only way you can keep them on track re clarification is to be firm, at which point they'll turn the tables and accuse you of grilling them or losing it. A third option is they'll throw a massive toddler tantrum, if this is in private and sometimes if not. They'll conflate what you've asked with statements like "she doesn't believe me!!" "she's telling me I'm a liar." Basically a DARVO (deny and reverse victim and offender) At least this is what my narcissistic parent does. And a former partner would do the first part - bluster and then accuse re "starting a row" and finally leave and blame you for another falling out. Swiftly followed by several days of silent treatment until they can take advantage of the trauma bond and get you back onto the lovebombing stage. I don't know how to avoid all that, at least from my own experiences. The better option is to remove them from your lives. I did with the partner but with the parent it's more complicated.
The funniest thing I ever heard from a narcissist was when a male friend was visiting some 30 odd years ago for a chat over coffee. He stood leaning against a cupboard when he brought his foot back and spilled the cat bowl. The first thing he said was 'That wasn't me'. We were the only people in the kitchen, lol.
@@Sandy.4875 I admit I found it funny that one time as he was so surprised it happened as if there was someone else doing it. It must be so annoying to have someone be like that all the time though. :(
They create chaos and many partners or friends or coworkers or family get caught up in getting disgusted and arguing back trying to prove the truth.. They keep others controlled emotionally.. up down all around - amusing to them… while everyone is off focus on what they were doing or feeling before that moment.
Oh, I know. and I hate it!! I cannot believe a single thing she tells me. It really sucks that I have to automatically think of the opposite of what I'm being told.
Grandiose and Covert Narcs are the worst….The more they elaborate about their story of lies the more I counter their questioning and learned it frustrates them 😅 then I end the whole conversation.
All of these talk about asking questions and how they answer the questions, but what about when they refuse to answer any questions!?!? The person I know does this all the time… she tells me, “that doesn’t matter…”. Which I get mad and say yes it does matter because (blank blank) also she says, “I already told you that answer.” Which I seem to say “no you didn’t !!!” Or “tell me again than!” “Repeat it than… not like you have a limited amount of words you can use..” and / or she will say “I’m done talking about this!!” Or “none of your business… “ “stop trying to control me!” And or “I’m not going to talk to you about that… which I end up saying yes it is my business and explain why it is.. or I start yelling and screaming not trying to control you. I just wanna know.. she also always accuses me of lying… when I’m not
I used to always think… why so defensive.. if you did nothing wrong or aren’t lying then why can’t you answer my questions? When someone has something to hide is when they don’t answer questions about it … but some of the these things where she is wouldn’t explain nor answer any questions or tell me any details I found out she was telling the truth about
I used to always think… why so defensive.. if you did nothing wrong or aren’t lying then why can’t you answer my questions? When someone has something to hide is when they don’t answer questions about it … but some of the these things where she is wouldn’t explain nor answer any questions or tell me any details I found out she was telling the truth about
sometimes it's dangerous to reveal to them that you know they're lying. When I was a child, one of the bullies in the neighborhood didn't know the definition of a word "totem pole" and said it was something else. When I explained what it really was, this girl scratched the fuck out of my arm. My narcissistic parents made me apologize to her. WTF? I was so happy when she moved to Thailand. I later learned she became a journalist, which just chills me because she was a pathological liar.
According to Sam Vaknin he says narcissists dissociate and have memory loss so they fill in the blanks logically for the story to make sense but forget so each time the story is different. Don’t get me wrong I always felt like I was never getting the truth about anything!
Oh my exes son accidentally mentioned her "co-worker" infront of me and I could see onher face trying to shut him up that it was a truth I wasnt mean to know. 😂
Why is nobody talking about the epidemic of narcissism? because when i was young there was maybe 2 out of 50 people narcistic but today 2 out of 50 are 'normal' (the numbers are ficive but it is to make my point) All the chearleading and thumbs up emojis and crap on social media are triggering narcissism in our young children, and it is done on purpuse. WHY is nobody talking about this?
7:04 I disagree with this question. I had a narcissistic boss. They would ask me “why do you think this is” all the time because they wanted me to speculate. Which then would use against me in my valuation if I was wrong if I was right, they would steal it and use it for themselves or to make somebody else looks good. The narcissist is using this line of questioning to pump information from people to be used against them later. We all know the narcissist is always gathering information. I no longer answer this question. I will say I don’t care to speculate. I’ll get back to you later. And according to this video, that makes me the narcissist know I’m protecting myself from a narcissist, trying to pump information for me that they will use against me no matter what I say.
"all you ever do is challenge me, this is suppose to be fun to be in a relationship. I need my person to be more chill than you are. Stop overthinking everything."😂😂 i can still hear his "teacher voice" saying all this😅
How about their answer to everything is either anyways or I don't want to talk about that. He consistently avoids evidence or throws the conversation into the ditch. Oh the lies the lies that change every day..
How do we handle alienation with adult children influenced by our own siblings? 😢I'm no contact with my sister due to an emotional affair she had with my now ex husband. She refused to acknowledge or stop. My son has taken her side and will not speak to me. It's been years now. Do I confront my sister?
What do you do when your DIL attacked me in front of my grandkids, has stopped all communication now and I have lost access to my only son and grandkids. They are 8 and 10 and witnessed it all. I’m devastated and don’t know how to regain contact even though I’d rather not ever see or speak to her again.
They lie so much, they don't remember what they said When I confronted bin after discovering that he went to the sauna with somebody he told me it was with a person with a d*cmj and I didn't need to know about that After I broke up with him he told my sister be went there with a female friend and didn't want to make me jealous..
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Its soooo infuriating when you know they know they are lying but if you call them out they will Narc Rage escalate so you're silently forced to swallow their BS with a smile 🙄 like being spoon fed and pretending to like it 🤢
They have NO soul
Sold it to the devil decades ago
The devil is “the father of ALL lies”
They honestly don't have a soul. I can't fathom what would drive a human to behave like they do. I guess it is a personality disorder, so they're going to be "disordered." It would just help if they weren't also able to lure people in with charm and niceties. It really is the most messed up human state to be in, second only to full psychopathy.
@@Itsuser_1234 sure it is. moron!
Just because someone wrote a book about the truth and messed up some numbers doesn't necessarily it's all a hoax ever play the telephone game?
@@JonathanHancocThe Bible states that the earth is around six thousand years old not millions of years old like some of these lying, big bang, “scientists” assert.
Small children who are terrorized and traumatized over and over don't sell their souls. They simply withdraw, leaving the body open to possession.
Their ego is so fragile that they seek constant validation, they need constant ego stroking and constant positive reinforcement all while they are constantly breaking you down 🤯 Good luck 😓
Yup. 36 years of that.
I finally divorced him. Enough is enough.
I'm free now, free to be myself, and happier than I e been in decades.
Same!🎉
No offense intended, but doesn't that also make You a recovering "Enabler"? One who also provides what every Narc's in need of? Especially when the signs of Narc's traits could mimic those of an Opportunist? We're always convinced after escaping (as if a "Fact" )" we're" better off. yet how do we factor the baggage we still carry that prevents Us from the requirement of Vulnerability so we can experience True Love for the first time? As such that endures the test of time and circumstance? Peace to You...
Eventually they are deemed a pathological liar across the board and you stop caring if its true or not. Just accept when their lips are moving lies are spewing 🙄
Bang on!
I find myself turning my head , rolling my eye's and muttering. Yah sure . under my breath 😂🙄
@@Bitterstone3849What a way to waste your life!! I wasted 23 years. Don't be a me. Leave Now!!
@@Bitterstone3849 Isn't the more meaningful interpretation they're more than likely pondering "Why are You still there"?
Whatever you try they will gaslight you and talk and talk and talk until you give up...
Their word salad is incredible 😂
That's this rogue administration of Biden and Harris and Obama and Pelosi..they are Narcissists and liars.
A lie buffet 😂😂😂
I can catch them in their lies most of the time but this just causes conflict and rage in this type of a person. It really helps no one.
I have the sme problem daily, I deal in facts and I get rage in every reply.
He thinks I'm weak bc I don't say anything and don't fight anymore.
@@thereschenschwarzer You’re actually much stronger than he is. It takes more strength to say nothing. Controlling yourself shows great power.
❤ You are so kind. Thanks for the kind words. Take care
There is one easy way to avoid being subject to this kind of treatment.
Actions speak louder than words
YeSSSSSSS
When you notice a consistent language pattern that directly contradicts their non compliant behaviour 👀
Listen to their actions and disregard their words of promise
from video: most important takeaway was: "narcs rarely confess. the goal isn't to get them to admit the truth. the goal is for you to decipher the truth beneath their lies." 4:20
if lying was a paid job, many narcissists would be billionaires. when you catch a narcissist in a lie, it's funny though, that they end up way madder than you. narcs will (next to) never admit liability especially where there are consequences involved.
one comeback to deal with the narcissist that i've used is to ask them "why do you think it's in my best interest to believe what you're suggesting?" this question reveals that what they're telling you is not in your best interest at all. i've had my own personal experience narcs and their flying monkeys, and this question has worked every time.
a comeback i've used to call out the nose-growing pinocchio narc: "lying about me doesn't change the truth about you". their face then turns several deeper shades of tomato red.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Oof... good ones!!
In my experience never waste your time asking a devil “why” ? anything - because they’ll not tell you the truth anyway ever! I liked the other thing you said about lying about me doesn’t change the truth about you ! Now that can be used and with results! ❤❤❤ cheers from Scotland
It is a job for many people currently referred to as gang stalking
I had an issue with my ex where she lied about credit card usage and clothes shopping( of course, for herself) when we were really broke. Not only did she get me to doubt myself and apologize for ever doubting her, but she tried to get me groveling and, all the while, she was lying. Another one of her tricks was to admit to past lies in order to validate that at the moment she was telling the truth. I've gone no contact and our son lives with me by his choice. Only now can I clearly see what a people pleaser I was.
Happier than ever? No contact for nine years! At year five he stalked me out and suggested marriage. Talk about nuts! I said, "Sounds like a bait and switch.". Shut that down.
He also said, "I have been through a lot of trauma and I take it out on the people around me." Talk about an affirmation. No apology, just a childish excuse or a justification. Either way, no way, no how, no more... My kid cut him off after he "helped" her move. He insulted, yelled at, embarrassed and frightened. Then he called me up and told me out kid was a little s#$t. His rant was recorded and sent to me. The s#@t was big and it was him! Too bad for him! The kid is terrific!
I’ve definitely observed this in my mom.Sad. She convinces herself of a fictitious reality that upholds her ego’s need to feel superior.
There is someone I watched on UA-cam (can't remember his name), but I always remember his message. He said, "Have you ever been in a conversation where you can't tell where the threat is coming from?" It's said in a "pleasant" tone, but your body system is off and going about all over the place because you feel the threat from that other person but you can't quite place it and you're not quite sure - that, is manipulation. You can be sure of your gut.
So true!
Best comment here.
Yes! Unseen threat, but launched with a smile and “….because I care…”
All true. Good analogy re the balloon. I've found though if you try to peg them, pinpoint, ask for specifics, they don't have any and just blow off onto some other generality. Like boxing with a shadow. Don't bother. They can't change so cutting ties is the best solution.
100%
Cornering them can lead to discard. They never face up to how much pain they cause .
You're coming into your own Meadow. Your personality and confidence has increased tremendously over the months. Great job and your videos are professional and very accurate. Thank you for your hard work and information.
Meadow, each and every one of your videos about narcissism are like beacons in this dark ocean of self-centered posers. I'm always taken aback by your excellent scripts because they can really make me see right through this intricate matrix of abuse, manipulation and control that most normal people are virtually always exposed to without even knowing. I've just taken the red pill at 40, so I know I still have a lot to learn. However, like many survivors out there, I've come to realize that, in the end, these impostors are not that intelligent due to the fact that, in order to hunt for supply or while eating their prey so they can continuously inflate their precious but hollow balloon, they end up inevitably exposing their true nature. Thank you very much for sharing your amazing work!
Oh I'm so glad to hear that you've found value in the videos. Red pill at 40 is GOOD... there's no looking back now!
True!
Once you have endured the pain of having a narcissist in your life you will be able to recognise the signs in others,
Alarm bells will be ringing so loud they will be deafening!!
When you mentioned how many times a day they lie, I was a bit surprised at how low that number was
😂 right?!
Three xs every ten minutes.
"A half truth is often a huge lie."
Ben Franklin
I thought exactly the same thing 😂
I even rewinded the video to make sure I heard her correctly, hahaha
They are so good at weaving their web, hoping to keep us in a confused state of mind..
And if we call them out on it. Wow! I finally walked away and after healing and deliverance, I now have peace 🕊️
Im grateful to be free; going on 7 years 🙌❤️
Well done, @LionofJudah222. Keep going💚
They will avoid examination of empirical evidence by shifting focus. They like it simple.
Congruent is the exact word that's been in my head for the last week regarding my sister.
"When people show you who they are, believe them." -Maya Angelou
YES!
Of course. The trouble is that a narcissist is a VERY GOOD manipulator... 😒😎
INCONGRUENT is the word, actually.
They sometimes lie about unimportant things, telling you the weather is good while it’s not boosts them in relation to you since they now know something that you don’t
YES! Lies of omission, lies, secrets We were having problems true. Still Mine didn't share 3 graduations speeches city state region & even nationals in Las Vegas . Because I demanded a morning and before going to sleep call we argued & I'm blocked all week. For some reason she took 12 new VS pretty panties I questioned her about. She said "Oh, girls always over PACK" maybe get over PACKED . By The Thunder Down Under. Male Strippers Team They stayed in same hotel. Why would an all young girls teams coaches or organizers book a hotel with male strippers. Watching them bring their work home with them. Hear through wall with a glass.. I know. It was just my turn😕. 🖕🪖🖕🦺🖕💍 🌬️🍆🪖. 🙈🤬🤳💅🐰🥂 🍾
The Dick-O'Mighty has a spell on her
Anyways "It's All been a PACK of lies"
Possibly trying to trigger you and/or spoil your mood.
They also use words as weapons
Absolutely the case.
I don't bother asking all those questions. I will just cut ties or ignore them. Don't want to waste my time or add stress to my life.
But thanks to the tips of appearing bored to their self-praised. And I learnt from this video that narcissit needs external validation. No wonder he will appear once in a while telling sad tales to gain pity.
A narc will just launch an attack on you or spew some BS if you verbally back them into a corner.
They will plan an ambush when you LEAST expect it as payback, they are always in silent competition keeping one over on you 👀
There's a reason #4. Everything must be a lie, extremely obfuscated, or kept entirely secret just in case they need to rewrite a new past. So, reason #4 is "just in case they need to rewrite history or create a new narrative".
SO TRUE!
They are so conditioned to lying that they can tell lies and at the second the words come out convince themselves that it's the truth
Mine makes sure that all questioning gets cut off from the get go. He either answers my questions with an attitude/begrudgingly tone, or he just deflects with more questions. Saying things like, "why are you always questioning me". Or he just says things like, "see this is what I'm talking about, I'm always doing something wrong, you blame me for everything, but you never take accountability, and you act like you do no wrong. And I get confused! Saying as little as possible is the best move. For mine, it keeps him happy. If I act like I don't have needs/wants, I don't have opinions, I don't have a say in the matter, I don't have questions, and I don't talk about myself, everything suddenly becomes peaceful for him, at the expense of my happiness. So I hold it all in until I explode and then he has dirt to hold over my head. He does worry when I finally get completely quiet and then says "see this is the problem, you never talk anymore. You stopped trying! You aren't communicating healthy like I am!" It's crazy making. When I get grey rock, as long as I respond to him talking about himself 24/7, with short validating answers, even if I'm noticeably detached, he is completely okay with that. Half the time he's gone, or when he's at home, he is on his phone most of the time having no issues talking with other people ad watching videos pretending I don't exist. Then when he finally does acknowledge ny existence, it's to talk about himself or complain about somebody. Or asking me when I'm gonna start dinner. Sure honey, I'll start dinner right after I clean the kitchen up because I'll cook and then have to clean also.
Hope you left this person
I just found you today. I have to say that I am REALLY enjoying the short, very descriptive videos. I just love the picture you paint with "common" examples of things I believe ALL of us can relate to. Fun stuff.
Your visuals are so accurate. Perfect metaphor. They are full of hot air too.
Yes @meadowdevor, there is so much of "image control and management" in the Cluster B types.
It is a multi layered issue and some types get so obsessed trying to convence others that their self delusion is real; and what you state is true, it is superficial and if you are the type to look at the detail and nuance of things you can spot plenty of cracks and inconsistencies to pin them down like a butterfly. Their back stories definitely has no substance, just fluff.
Thank you for another good vid. 🥂
Thanks for always adding thoughtful replies to the conversation here. 🥰
Ask them to put it in writing. They hate that. My ex does not text. Got me arrested for sending six texts. Claimed I annoyed him. He called me 56 times in one day on a land line just to be abusive! No problem!
As I struggled with a problem in my life, a trusted friend gave me some perplexing advice. He said I just needed to "grow a pear." I thought, okay, I can do that. So, today I planted 3 pear trees ....... We'll see.
😂😂😂
That could be good advice depending on the context. Specificity is a good thing.
Even delivering pears as a treat can be done in subtle ways as needed. Make sure you water that tree because growing pears has its nuances and tricks.
😅😂😊
Their mimicking fails with age.
That’s funny!
Lie deny Lie deny Lie deny 🙄
no contact deflates the balloon as they get zero supply to maintain their fragile egos
The balloon analogy was spot on.
Glad you liked it! I thought having a prop would be fun :)
They always look down when they’re about to lie.
That is not the case, they are experts at lying in all positions.
Wow! You’re brilliant 🤯. I am SO lucky I found your channel. I’ve educated myself on this topic over the last several years, and your channel offers the icing on the cake for my healing journey. Thank you ❤️🩹
Best way I can describe is “Hollow”
These persons are DANGEROUS. Cut no one any slack, or you may learn the hard way.
Persons with character will not play sociopathic games. Take your time "always".
This is a truly powerful video! I had a gf who said a couple times early on that she was afraid I’d wake up one day & see how ugly she was.
Tragically I stayed for nearly a year after that day struggling to the brink with the contradiction within me of who I wanted her to be and who she demonstrated she was in reality. A huge part of being able to move on was realizing that I was responsible for the mistake of staying after that day.
And I’m as sure of tomorrow’s sunrise as I am that she will never admit to any of the lies, let alone tell the truth of what happened on the days in question.
great video with great parallels about the balloon that really is spot on
My god. You have just described my husband to the T so to speak. You are such an intelligent young lady. I absolutely love your advice for us as preventative measures so we can truly know and begin to understand on these plain and simply nasty folks. Thank you so very very much for sharing some of your wonderful wisdom with us all. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😊🥰🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
The challenge is, when you ask a narcissist to clarify they'll either start blustering so that the only way you can keep them on track re clarification is to be firm, at which point they'll turn the tables and accuse you of grilling them or losing it. A third option is they'll throw a massive toddler tantrum, if this is in private and sometimes if not. They'll conflate what you've asked with statements like "she doesn't believe me!!" "she's telling me I'm a liar." Basically a DARVO (deny and reverse victim and offender) At least this is what my narcissistic parent does. And a former partner would do the first part - bluster and then accuse re "starting a row" and finally leave and blame you for another falling out. Swiftly followed by several days of silent treatment until they can take advantage of the trauma bond and get you back onto the lovebombing stage. I don't know how to avoid all that, at least from my own experiences. The better option is to remove them from your lives. I did with the partner but with the parent it's more complicated.
GREAT balloon analogy/demo!! Brilliant! Chz.
I was married to a female narcissist for 10 years. I've been free for 6 years. I wish that I would have had this information long ago
And narcissists are just full of air
I am so happy to have found your channel! Precise to the point and applicable in real life. Thank you so much 😊
I found in my old boss he'd distort . He enjoyed the chaos it hurt a lot of women
The funniest thing I ever heard from a narcissist was when a male friend was visiting some 30 odd years ago for a chat over coffee. He stood leaning against a cupboard when he brought his foot back and spilled the cat bowl. The first thing he said was 'That wasn't me'. We were the only people in the kitchen, lol.
I believe it. It's so wild to watch them.
That’s actually sad.
My husband does this all the time 😮
@@Sandy.4875 I admit I found it funny that one time as he was so surprised it happened as if there was someone else doing it. It must be so annoying to have someone be like that all the time though. :(
They create chaos and many partners or friends or coworkers or family get caught up in getting disgusted and arguing back trying to prove the truth..
They keep others controlled emotionally.. up down all around - amusing to them… while everyone is off focus on what they were doing or feeling before that moment.
Oh, I know. and I hate it!! I cannot believe a single thing she tells me. It really sucks that I have to automatically think of the opposite of what I'm being told.
Thank you for sharing this,sharing personal story isn't easy at all. It is very refreshing to hear a personal story and not just the " preaching! 🥰
Off topic , but that lipstick looks so great on you ☺️ thanks for the info . I have one in my life , my bonus kiddos bio mother . Ugh it’s not fun .
Grandiose and Covert Narcs are the worst….The more they elaborate about their story of lies the more I counter their questioning and learned it frustrates them 😅 then I end the whole conversation.
Meadow - thank you for the interesting video. You have a brilliant delivery style. And your home looks like you - warm and welcoming
THANK YOU SISTER LOVE
All of these talk about asking questions and how they answer the questions, but what about when they refuse to answer any questions!?!? The person I know does this all the time… she tells me, “that doesn’t matter…”. Which I get mad and say yes it does matter because (blank blank) also she says, “I already told you that answer.” Which I seem to say “no you didn’t !!!” Or “tell me again than!” “Repeat it than… not like you have a limited amount of words you can use..” and / or she will say “I’m done talking about this!!” Or “none of your business… “ “stop trying to control me!” And or “I’m not going to talk to you about that… which I end up saying yes it is my business and explain why it is.. or I start yelling and screaming not trying to control you. I just wanna know.. she also always accuses me of lying… when I’m not
I used to always think… why so defensive.. if you did nothing wrong or aren’t lying then why can’t you answer my questions? When someone has something to hide is when they don’t answer questions about it … but some of the these things where she is wouldn’t explain nor answer any questions or tell me any details I found out she was telling the truth about
I used to always think… why so defensive.. if you did nothing wrong or aren’t lying then why can’t you answer my questions? When someone has something to hide is when they don’t answer questions about it … but some of the these things where she is wouldn’t explain nor answer any questions or tell me any details I found out she was telling the truth about
She flat out refuses to answer any questions.. but to me she asks every single detail all the time
sometimes it's dangerous to reveal to them that you know they're lying. When I was a child, one of the bullies in the neighborhood didn't know the definition of a word "totem pole" and said it was something else. When I explained what it really was, this girl scratched the fuck out of my arm. My narcissistic parents made me apologize to her. WTF? I was so happy when she moved to Thailand. I later learned she became a journalist, which just chills me because she was a pathological liar.
She sounds like a psychopathic killer.
Sorry about your parents too.
wow love this. So true
So good!!!! YES!!!!
Its funny.... when these idiots lie...they CANNOT REMEMBER what lies they told, when they told them...and who they told these lies too...😮
Both sides of the pole... They will either talk really fast or they won't say anything at all..
Thank you, your videos are life changers.
According to Sam Vaknin he says narcissists dissociate and have memory loss so they fill in the blanks logically for the story to make sense but forget so each time the story is different. Don’t get me wrong I always felt like I was never getting the truth about anything!
Only God knows if that's even what's really happening to them.
Oh my exes son accidentally mentioned her "co-worker" infront of me and I could see onher face trying to shut him up that it was a truth I wasnt mean to know. 😂
Thank you!
Why is nobody talking about the epidemic of narcissism? because when i was young there was maybe 2 out of 50 people narcistic but today 2 out of 50 are 'normal' (the numbers are ficive but it is to make my point)
All the chearleading and thumbs up emojis and crap on social media are triggering narcissism in our young children, and it is done on purpuse.
WHY is nobody talking about this?
Thank you
Eeeeexcellent!
Thank
Can you create a video about the relationship between toxic mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law? Thank you very much for your valuable content.
I'll put that on my list. It is definitely a *thing*!!
Super thanks
wow is that ever true they lie as they breathe air
And he would always THEM to kill me yes it's truth
7:04 I disagree with this question. I had a narcissistic boss. They would ask me “why do you think this is” all the time because they wanted me to speculate. Which then would use against me in my valuation if I was wrong if I was right, they would steal it and use it for themselves or to make somebody else looks good. The narcissist is using this line of questioning to pump information from people to be used against them later. We all know the narcissist is always gathering information. I no longer answer this question. I will say I don’t care to speculate. I’ll get back to you later. And according to this video, that makes me the narcissist know I’m protecting myself from a narcissist, trying to pump information for me that they will use against me no matter what I say.
"all you ever do is challenge me, this is suppose to be fun to be in a relationship. I need my person to be more chill than you are. Stop overthinking everything."😂😂 i can still hear his "teacher voice" saying all this😅
How about their answer to everything is either anyways or I don't want to talk about that. He consistently avoids evidence or throws the conversation into the ditch. Oh the lies the lies that change every day..
How do we handle alienation with adult children influenced by our own siblings? 😢I'm no contact with my sister due to an emotional affair she had with my now ex husband. She refused to acknowledge or stop. My son has taken her side and will not speak to me. It's been years now. Do I confront my sister?
It's just so annoying
What do you do when your DIL attacked me in front of my grandkids, has stopped all communication now and I have lost access to my only son and grandkids. They are 8 and 10 and witnessed it all. I’m devastated and don’t know how to regain contact even though I’d rather not ever see or speak to her again.
To clarify, she is clearly a narcissist and I didn’t realize it until my therapist pointed it out to me.
May I ask you please speak on SCAKGOAT please
They lie so much, they don't remember what they said
When I confronted bin after discovering that he went to the sauna with somebody he told me it was with a person with a d*cmj and I didn't need to know about that
After I broke up with him he told my sister be went there with a female friend and didn't want to make me jealous..
U think 😊
seems that a certain foreign "culture-belief" is really much into this
My nine year old son catches my mom in little white lies all the time. It's hilarious, but also sad.
Sounds like you know this firsthand
👆Gold.
At least
Three times every 10 minutes? Oh, please! Why bother? Dump ‘em!
🙏
Well I guess I just speak about his job him him as me me and there around the Mayberry bush I know or food
GIVETH TAKEN AWAY ITS A GIVEN ON THIS SIDE OF SHIP SORRY
What is the best response or action when the narcissist lies ABOUT you?
Great question. I will think on that and make a video!
@@meadowdevorthey are really good at the smear campaign, especially if you break up with them.
@karreevaughan4674 you have to do the breaking up or they look bad.
Why does your explanation remind me so much of Donald Trump?
THANK YOU SISTER LOVE