Having lived in Korea for 14 years, I've always wondered what it would be like for me to marry a Korean in Korea. What do you all think about international marriages? Do they work?
Hello Francois! I lived in Seoul from 2011 to 2014 while stationed in Yongsan. My wife (who’s Korean) and I met in 2011, started dating in 2012, and got married in 2014. We’re currently living in the US and are still happily married to this day. Every year, we make it a point to travel to both Japan and Korea for vacation. As for international marriages, I can say from personal experience that they absolutely can work! Like any marriage, it takes effort, communication, and mutual respect. Cultural differences can sometimes be challenging, but they’re also an opportunity to grow and learn from each other. For us, it’s been an enriching journey that has bridged our two cultures in such a meaningful way.
@ChrisFitTaylor hey there!!! Thank you so much for this comment! I can actually feel the love you have for your wife and marriage in this comment! I'm glad you found the ideal situation. It also seems like you two took the time to get to know each other first before taking the plunge:) I really appreciate you sharing with me!!:)
I met and married my wife in Korea in 1982-83 (married 1983). It has been 42 wonderful years. We live in US and we go back to Korea all the time; typically twice a year.
I grew up in a military family, and many GIs ended up marrying foreigners. We were often stationed abroad, so I thought of international relationships as a natural situation :)
Firstly, thanks so much for the gift...omg. You always go above and beyond in supporting me:(. Secondly, I think coming from your military environment, international marriages would seem normal. Do you think the GI's married foreign women because of convenience or real love. I always wonder about this aspect of international marriages. Thank you, again!!
@@francoismarc3 lol, the marriages vary just like in any situation. Some last till death producing happy and successful families, while in other cases it's obvious that someone got used (usually the GI :) )
@@francoismarc3 Depending on the culture and Country. I worked on base in Korea and I noticed wherever there is a military base there are tons of opportunities for women to find husbands. Especially the nerdy guys because they don’t get the girls. Also men are chased down because of stereotypes about the military making lots of money. I think in Korea ( it’s changing a little) people marry for status and to improve their lives first. Love comes later. However for Americans and Europeans love comes first. I’m speaking about the working class mainly. Some marriages work. Others….
There was some good first-hand information in this video; I do agree:) Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm happy there was value in this video for you:)
My husband is Korean and I'm American. I think my situation is a little different because we met in the U.S. through one of my college Korean-American friends who still has family un Korea. My husband travels a lot for work and was in the U.S. working when we met. We had a long-distance relationship for 3 1/2 yrs., me traveling to Korea often and he traveling to the U.S. often, before getting married in the U.S two years ago, and then I moved permanently to Seoul, where we also had a Korean wedding for his parents, family and friends. He loves the U.S. and Western food, culture, clothes, etc., so he really has been a buffer for me with his family and friends who might not be as accepting of foreigners. I love Korea, especially Seoul. The hardest part for me is my guilt over him speaking in English because I've struggled with becoming fluent in Korean, although I continue to work on it constantly. He does have friends I'm close to and feel closer to them than some of my own family members. We've tried to meet each other in the middle when it comes to culture.
Wow, thank you for sharing such a personal and private message:) From reading your comment, it does appear as if you two are trying to meet each other in the middle:) Sounds like both parties are working hard to support a healthy and strong relationship. I'm happy to read your story:)
Well all relationships have tension and fights on a regular basis, if they didn't there would be no room for growth. It's how we handle those tensions and fights and what we learn from them that define what kind of relationship is possible with that person. And through these periods of ups and downs, it's also very crucial to remember what attracted you to this person in the first place. And also talk about and envision a possible shared future together, just like she said. Love and Marriage is the commitment to work on your relationship through thick and thin. You do not love someone if u are not ready to commit that's simply the truth. If you think you love someone but do not want to commit to them, then it's just attraction and desire.
Great interviews, you have good friends there. I was expecting Femi to be half Nigerian. Both my parents are Jamaican but I was born in London. My wife grew up in Korea and came to London as an adult to improve her English. We got married in Seoul in 2010 and it's been great. Definitely has its challenges such as communication but having two cultures (three really) is a blessing. We try to go back to Korea as much as we can and may consider moving there one day. Interesting my daughter has 3 citizenships from birth so that's kind of cool too.
First off for someone who’s been married twice in their lifetime I’m going to say that one of the main factors is communication!! Without it nothing can Survive!! Two people have to be willing to Sacrifice and Learn from each other and have that Mutual respect for one another!! Without those Basic Fundamentals nothing will Last!! So rather your a foreigner or native of that country it will definitely take both of you to Make Your Marriage Work especially in Today’s Times!! That’s my 2 cents on the topic Great 👍🏽 Video and Thanks for Sharing ✅🔥💯
Very, very important Communication and Respect 💓 no matter if you married someone from your own country. Remember... It will guarantee you a Happy and Blessed Marriage 💖🙋🏾♀️
Communication is extremely important! This goes for friendships and family matters as well. I think you are correct. For a happy and blessed marriage, communication is the key. ♡♡♡
as a korean, i have never considered hiring a cleaner to come to home a practicable option. i am not saying it is wrong, it is just kinda unfamiliar for koreans. or possibly only for me, since i am not as wealthy as she is.
Hahahah, we shall see lol. I loved both interviews as well! It was great to have an inside look into their marriages or the reason they chose international marriages!
Wow love Femi and Nicole being so open and sharing about their views. I am no expert in marriage but this reminds me Steve Harvey’s point in one of his shows he said that for a marriage to be successful couples need to be on the same page or communicate about 1. Political views 2. Religion 3. Money 4. Views on how to raise children And I thought that was great advice. Another great content.
They shared many valid points! As you posted, all of the categories are very important when choosing a mate. These four categories come up a lot, even when dating. Great points!:)
Wow Fehmi has a hell of an eloquence and nice dictation 👌 Is nice to also read the discussion of both side opinions on the comments. In my case everything going really well after few years of living together + marriage. It all goes down if you find the right person (and vice versa) more than the culture being different. Is just that the struggles and positive points shuffle around, but if the right person (not saying that only exists 1 specific person 😅) it just works.
Femi is a very articulate individual:) Where are you from, and are you married to a Korean? Meeting the right person where you gel at the beginning and you are willing to tolerate each other's annoying tendencies is the best lol. Happy your marriage is going well!!:)
Hey Francois. International marriages are hard work. I'm a Brit and I've been married to a Korean for 12+ years. You always have to be conscious about language because maybe for one partner they are not communicating in their native language and the translation can get muddled up which could lead to a misunderstanding.
Great point. I watched a video this morning where the host said, "You can't really understand the person unless you speak to them in their native language." It's similar to what you are saying.
I really liked this how this video played you. You interviewed some mature grown adults with great perspectives. I love how the video wasn’t focused on misogynistic gender roles that a women’s sole worth in marriage is to cook, clean, and be a housewife. I love that in both marriages both partners worked, compromised, and put into the marriage what they are able to give. At least it appears that way. Tired of hearing stories about women solely being expected to bend over backwards and do all the housework, sacrificing, communicating, and emotional labor in order for the marriage to work. Nobody wants to do that anymore. I also wish you were given the answer on how the ceremony would work since you don’t have family to join the wedding rituals if you had a traditional wedding. I hope you find the answers. Maybe try asking a Korean parent or grandparent these questions. The older generation might know.
Hey, thanks so very much for watching! I also liked how in both marriages, both partners were actively involved in the relationship, not just one doing all the work. And that's a good idea concerning the question I asked. I'll try:)
to be perfectly honest, 2 people's experience isn't really enough to touch on the subject. haven't done it in a while but i had so much pressure from my dad to go on blind dates (arranged marriage type) so i did. i don't know if they even do that anymore? i can tell you some stories lol. one was about dog meat and another was about smoking. there was another when the person asked if i was ever mistaken for the wrong gender... i really should have left the restaurant when i saw 'her' enter XD
This is true, but I just wanted to hear from two married folks :) Wow, arranged dating! I think that sounds kind of cool, but sounds like your experience wasn't ideal lol. Thanks for sharing hahah
Francois...whats so wild, I am a brotha with two best friends, both Black, who both married Korean women and had kids. One of them currently lives in Seoul and been married for 12 years and has 2 kids. Whats wild is, he has the same personality as you to the tee...you both may be brothers lol.
Yeah, you're over thinking! If you meet someone you hit it off with you take a leap of faith and go for it, you will work out any differences along the way as with any relationship
I would imagine language first. It's possible a person will always communicate more accurately in their native language, so miscues like jokes and/expressions being misunderstood could happen. That could lead to arguments and other conflicts in the relationship. That was a great question and I'm sure there are more answers.
@@canadianbird1185 It can be true for some women, but I guess the same can be said for some men as well. Men and women, we need to learn to respect each other and our unique abilities:)
How about you kick out the American military out of Korea & make own army that doesn't need Western back up cause the American government and military is the reason why you have a North Korea & a South Korea.
@MannyGomes-x6v I agree. But they won't leave. Everything you're told about the Korean war are false. US caused that war. Stoking violence and a civil war. And they have all their PR groups who guide the public with their narratives. These American military are freaking useless. Their behavior is just horrendous. Why do you think people say the whites are the n*gg*rs of Asia. Excuse my language but that's the term to describe amongst the diaspora and east Asians. But it has nothing to do with color of skin it has to do with the behavior. These US military servicemen act like 6th graders with no manners.
Way too complicated. Absolutely too much work. Marriage is already difficult. Add kids? Add a language barrier? Add cultural differences? Sorry - not worth it. Beautiful Korean women won't stay Beautiful forever. And if they have money? Well, that can all change in an instant if her company goes belly up. Life long headache and struggle. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Stay single everybody
Having lived in Korea for 14 years, I've always wondered what it would be like for me to marry a Korean in Korea. What do you all think about international marriages? Do they work?
Hello Francois! I lived in Seoul from 2011 to 2014 while stationed in Yongsan. My wife (who’s Korean) and I met in 2011, started dating in 2012, and got married in 2014. We’re currently living in the US and are still happily married to this day. Every year, we make it a point to travel to both Japan and Korea for vacation.
As for international marriages, I can say from personal experience that they absolutely can work! Like any marriage, it takes effort, communication, and mutual respect. Cultural differences can sometimes be challenging, but they’re also an opportunity to grow and learn from each other. For us, it’s been an enriching journey that has bridged our two cultures in such a meaningful way.
Sometimes
@ChrisFitTaylor hey there!!! Thank you so much for this comment! I can actually feel the love you have for your wife and marriage in this comment! I'm glad you found the ideal situation. It also seems like you two took the time to get to know each other first before taking the plunge:) I really appreciate you sharing with me!!:)
I met and married my wife in Korea in 1982-83 (married 1983). It has been 42 wonderful years. We live in US and we go back to Korea all the time; typically twice a year.
Wow, you have been married as long as I have been alive. Congratulations!:)
I grew up in a military family, and many GIs ended up marrying foreigners. We were often stationed abroad, so I thought of international relationships as a natural situation :)
Firstly, thanks so much for the gift...omg. You always go above and beyond in supporting me:(. Secondly, I think coming from your military environment, international marriages would seem normal. Do you think the GI's married foreign women because of convenience or real love. I always wonder about this aspect of international marriages. Thank you, again!!
@@francoismarc3 lol, the marriages vary just like in any situation. Some last till death producing happy and successful families, while in other cases it's obvious that someone got used (usually the GI :) )
Lol, fair enough hahahah
@@francoismarc3 Depending on the culture and Country. I worked on base in Korea and I noticed wherever there is a military base there are tons of opportunities for women to find husbands. Especially the nerdy guys because they don’t get the girls. Also men are chased down because of stereotypes about the military making lots of money. I think in Korea ( it’s changing a little) people marry for status and to improve their lives first. Love comes later. However for Americans and Europeans love comes first. I’m speaking about the working class mainly. Some marriages work. Others….
@deborahmoore9308 Great point:)
I really loved your friend’s answer. I learn something from his answer. This was awesome! Love your videos. Stay warm.❤
There was some good first-hand information in this video; I do agree:) Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm happy there was value in this video for you:)
My husband is Korean and I'm American. I think my situation is a little different because we met in the U.S. through one of my college Korean-American friends who still has family un Korea. My husband travels a lot for work and was in the U.S. working when we met. We had a long-distance relationship for 3 1/2 yrs., me traveling to Korea often and he traveling to the U.S. often, before getting married in the U.S two years ago, and then I moved permanently to Seoul, where we also had a Korean wedding for his parents, family and friends. He loves the U.S. and Western food, culture, clothes, etc., so he really has been a buffer for me with his family and friends who might not be as accepting of foreigners. I love Korea, especially Seoul. The hardest part for me is my guilt over him speaking in English because I've struggled with becoming fluent in Korean, although I continue to work on it constantly. He does have friends I'm close to and feel closer to them than some of my own family members. We've tried to meet each other in the middle when it comes to culture.
Wow, thank you for sharing such a personal and private message:) From reading your comment, it does appear as if you two are trying to meet each other in the middle:) Sounds like both parties are working hard to support a healthy and strong relationship. I'm happy to read your story:)
Well all relationships have tension and fights on a regular basis, if they didn't there would be no room for growth.
It's how we handle those tensions and fights and what we learn from them that define what kind of relationship is possible with that person.
And through these periods of ups and downs, it's also very crucial to remember what attracted you to this person in the first place.
And also talk about and envision a possible shared future together, just like she said.
Love and Marriage is the commitment to work on your relationship through thick and thin.
You do not love someone if u are not ready to commit that's simply the truth.
If you think you love someone but do not want to commit to them, then it's just attraction and desire.
Great point. Thank you:)
Great interviews, you have good friends there. I was expecting Femi to be half Nigerian. Both my parents are Jamaican but I was born in London. My wife grew up in Korea and came to London as an adult to improve her English. We got married in Seoul in 2010 and it's been great. Definitely has its challenges such as communication but having two cultures (three really) is a blessing. We try to go back to Korea as much as we can and may consider moving there one day. Interesting my daughter has 3 citizenships from birth so that's kind of cool too.
Francois! Amazing to see how much your channel has grown! Congrats!! 👏🏾☺️
Omg, Bree!! Truly a blast from the past! How have you been? Thank you so much for the kind words! Still more growing to do!!:)
First off for someone who’s been married twice in their lifetime I’m going to say that one of the main factors is communication!! Without it nothing can Survive!! Two people have to be willing to Sacrifice and Learn from each other and have that Mutual respect for one another!! Without those Basic Fundamentals nothing will Last!! So rather your a foreigner or native of that country it will definitely take both of you to Make Your Marriage Work especially in Today’s Times!! That’s my 2 cents on the topic Great 👍🏽 Video and Thanks for Sharing ✅🔥💯
Your two cents is worth millions! Thank you for sharing your personal experiences here! We will learn from your words:)
Very complex lol
But very sound points! Marrying someone from another culture involves a lot of adjustments and understanding indeed
I think so! Marriage in general looks difficult, so I can imagine international marriages...sounds complex indeed!!
Wow, I am impressed with the understanding and intelligence. Thank you.
Hey, thanks so much for the comment!!!
Very, very important Communication and Respect 💓 no matter if you married someone from your own country. Remember... It will guarantee you a Happy and Blessed Marriage 💖🙋🏾♀️
Communication is extremely important! This goes for friendships and family matters as well. I think you are correct. For a happy and blessed marriage, communication is the key. ♡♡♡
as a korean, i have never considered hiring a cleaner to come to home a practicable option. i am not saying it is wrong, it is just kinda unfamiliar for koreans. or possibly only for me, since i am not as wealthy as she is.
Having a cleaner would free up a lot of time, but right, the trade-off is it is a little expensive:(
Great video, I love both interviews... Soooooo when you getting married!?!
Kidding (mostly)
Hahahah, we shall see lol. I loved both interviews as well! It was great to have an inside look into their marriages or the reason they chose international marriages!
Great video! 👏👏👏
Hey, I appreciate it so much!!!
11:40 - LOVE the background this was filmed in. Also Femi - do we really have to film this outside, in KR cold, in JAN?! Lol.
Thank you:) I thought the backdrop would look nice for the video, but my feet were freezing hahaha
Wow love Femi and Nicole being so open and sharing about their views. I am no expert in marriage but this reminds me Steve Harvey’s point in one of his shows he said that for a marriage to be successful couples need to be on the same page or communicate about
1. Political views
2. Religion
3. Money
4. Views on how to raise children
And I thought that was great advice.
Another great content.
They shared many valid points! As you posted, all of the categories are very important when choosing a mate. These four categories come up a lot, even when dating. Great points!:)
Wow Fehmi has a hell of an eloquence and nice dictation 👌
Is nice to also read the discussion of both side opinions on the comments.
In my case everything going really well after few years of living together + marriage. It all goes down if you find the right person (and vice versa) more than the culture being different. Is just that the struggles and positive points shuffle around, but if the right person (not saying that only exists 1 specific person 😅) it just works.
Femi is a very articulate individual:) Where are you from, and are you married to a Korean? Meeting the right person where you gel at the beginning and you are willing to tolerate each other's annoying tendencies is the best lol. Happy your marriage is going well!!:)
@francoismarc3 from Brazil, living in Japan for 7y now. Married with Japanese, but she has more an international mindset.
@kafeh182 Thanks for sharing:)
Interesting subject . Enjoy the video
Thank you so much for watching")
Hey Francois. International marriages are hard work. I'm a Brit and I've been married to a Korean for 12+ years. You always have to be conscious about language because maybe for one partner they are not communicating in their native language and the translation can get muddled up which could lead to a misunderstanding.
Great point. I watched a video this morning where the host said, "You can't really understand the person unless you speak to them in their native language." It's similar to what you are saying.
Yo Francois, good channel, how are you since The monday's basketball time? Love from paris bro
Benoit!!! Wow!! It's been a long time, bro! Comment va tu?! Ici, tout va bien :)
Make a life wherever you are and be happy with whomever connects well with you... good luck🤞
Great advice. Thank you for this:)
The women who was American Korean married true Korean, her marriage didn’t seem personal. Lack love.
Oh really? Why do you say this? I'm interested to know.
I really liked this how this video played you. You interviewed some mature grown adults with great perspectives. I love how the video wasn’t focused on misogynistic gender roles that a women’s sole worth in marriage is to cook, clean, and be a housewife. I love that in both marriages both partners worked, compromised, and put into the marriage what they are able to give. At least it appears that way. Tired of hearing stories about women solely being expected to bend over backwards and do all the housework, sacrificing, communicating, and emotional labor in order for the marriage to work. Nobody wants to do that anymore. I also wish you were given the answer on how the ceremony would work since you don’t have family to join the wedding rituals if you had a traditional wedding. I hope you find the answers. Maybe try asking a Korean parent or grandparent these questions. The older generation might know.
I really liked how this video played out *
Hey, thanks so very much for watching! I also liked how in both marriages, both partners were actively involved in the relationship, not just one doing all the work. And that's a good idea concerning the question I asked. I'll try:)
to be perfectly honest, 2 people's experience isn't really enough to touch on the subject. haven't done it in a while but i had so much pressure from my dad to go on blind dates (arranged marriage type) so i did. i don't know if they even do that anymore? i can tell you some stories lol. one was about dog meat and another was about smoking. there was another when the person asked if i was ever mistaken for the wrong gender... i really should have left the restaurant when i saw 'her' enter XD
This is true, but I just wanted to hear from two married folks :) Wow, arranged dating! I think that sounds kind of cool, but sounds like your experience wasn't ideal lol. Thanks for sharing hahah
Francois...whats so wild, I am a brotha with two best friends, both Black, who both married Korean women and had kids. One of them currently lives in Seoul and been married for 12 years and has 2 kids. Whats wild is, he has the same personality as you to the tee...you both may be brothers lol.
Hahahaha Is his name Francois as well?! Maybe we are the same person hahaha. But really, he's happy like me? Hahah
Yeah, you're over thinking! If you meet someone you hit it off with you take a leap of faith and go for it, you will work out any differences along the way as with any relationship
Leap of faith hahaha Thanks for that:)
What are some specifics about the problems cultural differences cause?
I would imagine language first. It's possible a person will always communicate more accurately in their native language, so miscues like jokes and/expressions being misunderstood could happen. That could lead to arguments and other conflicts in the relationship. That was a great question and I'm sure there are more answers.
It’s good to over think about marriage because divorce is costly and turns your life upside down.
Exactly this. Not to mention the amount of time and energy it takes to divorce and then find a new partner. It's not an easy decision for me.
I'll say off the bat that most modern women anywhere usually have the same mindset. 💀
Oh, what kind of mindset is that?!
@@francoismarc3 they want a butler 🤣
@@canadianbird1185 It can be true for some women, but I guess the same can be said for some men as well. Men and women, we need to learn to respect each other and our unique abilities:)
Faltou em português
No Portuguese subtitles?
My korean people are not marrying or having babies.
Why do you think? I actually don't know the reason
How about you kick out the American military out of Korea & make own army that doesn't need Western back up cause the American government and military is the reason why you have a North Korea & a South Korea.
@MannyGomes-x6v I agree. But they won't leave. Everything you're told about the Korean war are false. US caused that war. Stoking violence and a civil war. And they have all their PR groups who guide the public with their narratives. These American military are freaking useless. Their behavior is just horrendous. Why do you think people say the whites are the n*gg*rs of Asia. Excuse my language but that's the term to describe amongst the diaspora and east Asians. But it has nothing to do with color of skin it has to do with the behavior. These US military servicemen act like 6th graders with no manners.
Do you like Mongolia and South korea?❤
I like both!!!
@ oh thank you I’m Mongolia ♥️
3 MONTHS OF DATING? WTFFFF
When it's love, it's love? Hahaha I've heard these things happen from time to time:)
I hate restrictions, so no for me.
What do you mean by 'restrictions'?
Seems like financial contract. Not a marriage.
What do you think a “marriage” is? Such a naive and unidimensional comment
I wonder if that is what the idea of marriage is at the root. Thanks for sharing!
I don't cook
I don't clean
I'm not the best housewife
Ooooookaaaay ... moving on.
Looool, but she works!
You can try marrying your mom if she’s available since that’s what you like.
@@magnolia2😂🤣😎😎😎
Hi frans im macho come to mongolia plz
Hey!!! I'll come back soon!:)
:D
Way too complicated. Absolutely too much work. Marriage is already difficult. Add kids? Add a language barrier? Add cultural differences? Sorry - not worth it. Beautiful Korean women won't stay Beautiful forever. And if they have money? Well, that can all change in an instant if her company goes belly up. Life long headache and struggle. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Stay single everybody
Thanks for sharing this!
I have dated a couple of Korean ladies in my lifetime i love them like i love Mongolian woman.
Both sets of women are beautiful:)