To everyone who joins our usual live Friday premieres - We are currently traveling and completely mixed up the time zones, so this one posted without the premiere (completely accidentally😬 oops) We missed seeing you all - BUT next week we will be back at our usual time. Hope you enjoy the video, and thanks for being here!! ❤
I was actually doing nordic walking in the nature on a dike/levee. I wanted to be at the premiere chatting with you but I recognized then the video was already up. I already assumed you mixed up the timezones. Thanks for the video anyway.❤❤❤
Kombucha is awesome!! My favorite ‘carbonated’ treat!! And that is great as well for the system. I would love it if you could a video or loved ones knowing how to help their person during burnout & how to be. And I’m in the worst burn out of all the burn outs I have ever been in as well as what considers it was my ex-GP’s medical malpractice that lead to further neurological disorder. 😭 and I was i’m making sure things good.. Anyway, thank you for this video because boy do I ever resonate with this soo hard!!
@@lionunderthestars7019 our Premiere time is on Fridays at 7:15pm London time - not sure of your time zone, but hope this helps. We'll have a new one tomorrow - would love to see you there!
I used to spend 12 hours or more doing animations, drawing, wrighting stories, learning a new skill, programming, whatever. It's been more than 5 years since I could sit down and study a new skill. I've been trying to pick up a specific new skill for over three years now because, well, after a minute or so I'm spent. I never associated that loss of ability with my lack of social interaction, the constant buzzing in my body and mind, my lack of ability to cope with sudden loud sounds at work and lack of emotional regulation. Even the body pains I've felt over the last half-decade I just associated to age. You've actually described 90% of my daily struggle for that time. I'm only recently diagnosed with autism and I'm still salty that I didn't get the updated life manual with it. This was the single most helpful autism video I've seen in the last 2 years. Thanks.
I'm actually beginning to wonder if some of the chronic pain I've been coping with since 2020 is really Long Covid, like I'd assumed, or if it's burnout related. It *did* start with a nasty case of Covid, but I'm realising that I've also been almost perpetually burned out for the last 4 years. Maybe there's hope that I'll get past this constant pain, and be able to get back to one of my favourite special interests - classical ballet, one of the best workouts ever invented, and true food for my soul, should it exist. I really miss hiking, too, and maybe I *will* be able to hit the trails again should the burnout be addressed. As it stands, I'm trying to force myself up and out the door, because I'm in desperate need of groceries, and that will be my activity for the day. I'll only have the physical capacity for some nice, relaxing cross-stitch after that. XP
Yes, I got diagnosed at 57 two years ago and have been in autistic burnout over three years. Just last week I thought I was doing better then I went into shut down for three days. My skills are coming back slowly but I can't learn anything new.
"I'm still salty that I didn't get the updated life manual". Oh, boy, do I feel that. Are you old enough to remember The Greatest American Hero? In the pilot, the manual for Ralph's superhero suit falls out of the box in the desert, never to be seen again. The only way they figure anything out about it is by trial and error (... a lot of error). As a teenager, that really hit home. At almost 60, I'm just starting to piece together why my life has been that way.
crying in the work bathroom right now feeling like i am understood by at least some people out there. this shit is so exhausting, man. the feeling of “i know i can do this, why cant i make myself do this” and then gaslighting myself into believing im just lazy… fuck
Omg I feel this so much. I wake up everyday and don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I love socializing but the world just feels so scary when I’m in burnout. I just want to stay home and in bed watching my favorite childhood shows trying to escape to a time when I felt more free
Me too! I haven’t been able to put into words to my family or friends how I’ve been feeling. This video has. I’m undiagnosed but I’ve had thoughts for a long time that there is something else going on other than “chronic depression”.
I have been in burnout for two years now and it feels like a never-ending battle, i mourn the person I used to be. I fear I will never be a functional person again, it never stops.
Misdiagnosed throughout my life with depression and anxiety, then autism diagnosis in my 70's! My life could have been so much better if I had known. I love your videos.
So happy that you’ve found yourself with a diagnosis that fits you It’s so positive to have explanations for your experiences that have gone overlooked or misunderstood for so long
My husband experienced autistic burnout but fortunately I had a full-time job and I could support him. However it took him about 4 years to recover. It was really frustrating because other people didn't understand, and I really didn't understand because we didn't know he was autistic. But I love him so much that I refused to give up. What helped Us was actually moving to the state where my dad lived and he was able to get a job at the company he used to work for. I think not having a job made the burnout harder to recover from because he felt worthless.
Well done together, and so glad to hear you got through it 🙏 We are in the middle of the chaos and working very hard to get though it. I’ve posted some videos on my channel if you’d be interested to follow our story.
On the flip side I cannot get out of burnout BECAUSE I'm forced to work and continue exerting myself with no help. I would kill to be able to just leave my job and recover, but not everyone has that privilege...
Apparently I've been in autistic burnout for a while and have it known. I started crying because you describe everything I've been going through. Thank you for helping.
@@MichaelLesterClockwork I had a similar experience, and there’s some relief for me now in being able to identify what happened. Sending you support from New Zealand too, friend ✌️
@@MichaelLesterClockworkNot my career, but my last stable job, in 2016, and have been in some level of burnout ever since. Finally only now getting the opportunity to recover. I’ll never go back to full time employment. It’s hard to let go of something I was so good at.
Beautifully described! During burnout, I feel desperate, like "when is it gonna get better? When is this pain going to end?" And that's when those "I'll be better off when I'm dead" thoughts creep in. It's frightenening and depressing, considering I am not a depressed person normally.
Do you also have that feeling of just wanting to be Gone From Here? Like not “I want to die” just “I want to not exist” because I’m just So. Damn. Tired.
@@Lari-lc3zq I get this feeling of just wanting to "go home" even when I'm sitting in my place of residence. It's always confused me. Like I need a break. I need a step back from this mortal plane- not that I want to die, but the idea of a light coma sounds very appealing.
@@jjsom221Yeah I know that coma feeling. I just want to be asleep or just lie in bed thinking about nothing 24/7. And I've been living at home with my parents and doing nothing for the last half year😢
Autism, adhd, this and that... But nobody talks about how we are pushed to work all the time in a world that's so unnatural for the human animal. I have so much of what you're talking about... We are surrounded by work... Woooooorrrkkkk... Woorkkkkk Workout Work Work on your relationship Work on your meditation Everything is wooooorrrkkkkkkk LOL
@theodor. Jesus, finally somebody that makes sense! Here in the U.S. northeast (specifically, washington, dc.)always felt im surrounded by a bunch of worker bee, automatons, who only talk about work, striving, upward mobility, success, yadda, yadda, yadda. Would secretly drive me crazy, but I'd put up the facade of agreement to keep up with the Joneses like everyone else. As a neurodivergent now in my 40s, i dont care anymore what others think, trying to live life on my terms now, but its still hard.
@@dhall936 I know... It is the same everywhere. I am from Romania but currently living in Sweden. The level of anxiety and stress is growing though you would think things are better etc. because we live in the west. Many factors plays within this from politics to other issues. But we as a species grew as a hunter gatherer tribe. We also moved a lot. Then of course we discover farming and that went away. But the need of ADHD people where still needed. Explorer, hunters etc. We live in a society where the hunters and explorers are not needed. I listened to DRk K. Healthy gamers talking about this, Our society benefits the farmers not the hunter/explorers. Funny enough I am a painter - and I have days when I loose my mind just looking at a painting for 3 to 6 hours. This is not normal to work like this everyday! So much to say but I so so so feel you... Our world is not natural at all. It is so artificial - people are having it so easy! Life ain't suppose to be easy - without hardship and suffering you do not know what is a good and what is lets say balance. Good luck over there... I will also share the link from Dr. K. Enjoy :) ua-cam.com/video/HN5BoBlY0MU/v-deo.html
I found that learning about spirituality helped me alot with burnout. Ram Dass was a big inspiration. There are people with beautiful souls, loving and happy, and they don't work so hard. Working that hard isn't needed.
A couple minutes after watching this I broke down sobbing with relief / realization / desperation that this is what I have been living for 8 years after some serious family trauma. My recent realization of having autism (undiagnosed, because it costs $2000 in Canada to see a specialist and get tested) on top of ADHD which was diagnosed at 4yo, your videos have given me so many “ah-ha” and lightbulb moments, but this one was like reading me my emotional thermometer from the last decade
It’s such a great realization to know that your body and mind are breaking down not because you are crazy or lazy, but because you live in a world that doesn’t fully understand what it means to be autistic and you’re having to work harder than most to fit in. I spent years constantly ripping myself apart because I was furious my cognitive capacity and energy levels were declining. I kept telling myself to keep pushing and get tougher. Now I understand that I am tough, but not invincible. As I learn more about my autistic brain and the environment that works for me, I’m making the necessary adjustments and things are improving. This really helps with self confidence and self esteem. I’m really happy my videos are helping. I hope you go easy on yourself and make the adjustments you need to get out of autistic burnout. It’s not a fun place to be at all. You’re not weak or crazy. You’re probably autistic and exhausted.
WOW. I HAVEN'T STOPPED CRYING SINCE WATCHING THIS VIDEO. Now, to pull off the miracle - to find a doctor in Australia who I can afford, who will also ACTUALLY HELP ME instead of dismissing me, I just cannot bear even the THOUGHT of seeing YET another NARCISSISTIC doctor & paying through the nose to be mistreated, abused, neglected and ignored. I've experienced SO MUCH HARM from THE VERY DOCTORS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME. THIS is the 3rd time I've written, then deleted and rewritten , I don't have the energy to try again, imma try more later. So grateful to have found your channel ❤😊
And this is exactly why I won't let my adult son with confirmed ADD go to the doctor to "get help". (What I mean is that I continue to strongly discourage him from getting involved with a wild goose chase with doctors while many well-meaning friends encourage him to go in that direction.) I am pretty much convinced that he would be misunderstood, misdiagnosed, mislabelled and otherwise abused by an ignorant medical system. He would then ruin his "clean" and essentially empty medical file with what amounts to medical libel, something which can follow you around for the rest of your life once some ignorant doctor who doesn't listen makes a misinformed pronouncement. Yes, medical libel is an unfortunate reality. My son is unlikely to ever make enough money to pursue clearing his file through the court system and thus fix the problem, so I still think that the best approach is an ounze of prevention. I tell him to stay away from the wrong doctors, which, unfortunately, is most of them at this time.😢 This video has already proved more helpful than "consulting with our medical professionals". And, if you have to add some kind of ridiculous warning to your material to cover your legal butt, so be it. I know how to play "that game" to get information. I use information with informed consent on my own recognizance. Soon enough things will change for the better, information will win out over ego and ignorance, and we will be wiping the floor with a bunch of medical degrees that need to go in the garbage when it comes to this type of condition. I will protect my son. @@falictyelliott8752
For me, it is the frustration with my loss of skills and the overwhelm I feel all the time that makes me so angry and sad. I have been in burnout several times over the years and this last episode started last year. I feel like with each episode I lose more and more executive functions and become more and more sensitive to stimuli. I have had to quit my job because I no longer could mask or tolerate my work environment. I don’t know what to do about all this. I’m trying to rest but then I feel guilty and ashamed for taking time to rest.
I am right there with you. Experienced extreme burnout after 2021, could not work for 18 months. Now i can barely work 3 days a week 🙃 I used to work 6 days a week and attend rallies and marches etc. And now i get anxious opening facebook. I just keep reassuring myself that it will get better. And i document my progress. But mentally im just not the same. Are we ever the same again after experiencing multiple burnouts?
I know it’s hard, but you have to accept you NEED rest. If half of the energy you gained from rest went to feeling guilty about resting, it’s not very effective ! With the same amount of rest I now feel much better because I don’t care anymore. And also, the loss can be, to some extent, permanent. So,better to take a few days off a week than having to quit for 3 months or losing your job because you just can’t do it anymore. Take care.
Yes!! I am finding it harder and harder to mask, but my job is dependent on it (the social skills) in combination with the loss of skills and heightened sensory sensitivity if is such a deadly combo esp. professionally. 😢
I am going on the same journey, been diagnosed Autistic . Work have higher & higher demands with a zero tolerance policies, if your not 100% dodnt come in. Know body under stands. So alone...
I'm in a similar situation. So fried from work that I quit in June and was having panic attack symptoms looking for a new one. Then in August I learned I am autistic. This is a lot to process, and I'm really scared I won't go back to "normal" (for me) again. I need to work, but just can't right now. I've experienced this before but never this extreme. At least I finally understand it, but I really don't know what to do next.
I was also late diagnosed at 37. This describes exactly what I've been going through. I've gone from "having high potential" with multiple degrees and career path, to unemployed and aimless. All because my brain finally just said, "Nope. We quit".
I love the. My brain said "We quit". It is exactly how I see my brain at times. as a separate entity, that can stop me from doing something. And I get anooyed by it.
I’m 43 and in the same boat you know what now it’s time for you to decide what you really enjoy doing in your life what you are good at and seeing if you can pivot that into employment for yourself
Omg thank you, I am a mental health professional and suspect I am autistic. This was brought up by my psychiatrist at age 60. I thought I was just depressed and losing my mind. I had no idea this was a thing. I have had days that if needing to go out I meltdown and cry.hubby thinks I’m being silly. Thank you thank you
The loss of skills is rough. When it hits me people will talk to me, I will hear them, but no matter how clearly they say it I just can't process their message. I really can't work in those moments, I just have to go home.
I'm 68 years old (nearly) and was diagnosed with ADHD, but only because Kaiser doesn't allow for adult diagnoses of autism. I just found your channel, in the midst of burnout, and need to thank you for your work. I'm recognizing childhood difficulties and giving myself credit for the incredible work I've done in masking. Also, after watching this video, loving and respecting myself and what's happening to me now. The relief is large and I'm going out to the mountain range close by for some clear and wonderful moments. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again.
Finally it makes sense. I have been understanding that I am autistic a month ago at 48. I went through multiple burnouts in the last 10 years, I hasd CPTSD as well and thought it was it but it wasn’t and did everything I could about it: meditation, yoga, hypnosis, therapy, you name it and each time I would get better for a while and crash again. I thought it was hormones, did some blood tests and now watching this, this is it ! I’ve been in autistic burn out for so many years that I got depressed. I’ve struggled with all that you have mentioned. I could not even watch a movie or read a book. I could not go on trips and it has been so overwhelming just to book a flight ! I have to prepare my suitcase almost a week before my travel whereas before I was anxious but excited. I even booked a flight the other way round, this would never happen to me in the past. I used to work like a machine, keeping my focus for hours and hours, now I’m like a baby. Been living in a cave, isolating from being overstimulated, I could not be even in a relationship. I had to go back and live at my mothers house in nature for a few months to rest. I’ve felt trapped in my body for so long and I’m not even talking about working. Even at school, I could not finish the week. I am studying my triggers, noise is the worst with smell, I’m wearing gym clothes and eating whatever lol. Thank you for the awareness you bring !
The part about “expressing your needs” 👏👏👏 When my doc asks “what I need” (and I’m in burnout, as I am atm), it feels like my brain’s going to spontaneously combust, because it (the brain that is) isn’t even functioning, I mean, like not one bit. Also the fact that any and all energy it had, already got spent when dragging myself to the appointment in the first place 🤯. As a fellow ADHD+ASD’er (diagnosed as an adult) I really appreciate your content. It feels validating. Thank you. 🙏 Really.
For real. I'm undiagnosed, but after watching these videos, I think I can finally figure out that it might be Autism. Like 95% of everything in these videos hits the nail on the head.
Ha! Looking at my life through the lens of autism is just wild. Almost every time I watch a video about autism, I have a moment of, “Oh, I don’t think I experience that….” And then my brain drips drops of information to my conscious mind and I’m left looking at myself, mouth open, wide eyed in shock because that’s exactly what I’ve been experiencing. It’s incredibly soothing to finally understand what’s been happening. I’m realizing I’ve been in burnout for quite some time now. In fact, it’s the symptoms of burnout that drove me to, yet again, try and figure out what in the hecknbob is “wrong” with me. I truly feel like I’m meeting myself for the first time. Thank you so much for this video, Chris and Debby.
My experience since my discovery in May '23 is soooo much like yours that way. Upon the first discovery there were a number of traits that I assumed weren't mine--"Yeah, I never do that." And then the mille-feuille (1000-leafed) veil started falling away, one leaf at a time. A lifetime's experiences began trickling, at first, back to my consciousness, in a whole different light. Pretty soon it was a tsunami of memories, experiences, impresssions, wounds and bewilderments flooding in on my consciousness demanding to be seen for what they really were. Almost like an exorcism! Certainly a catharsis. All those unanswered questions in my life that I hadn't even quite realized WERE questions came clamoring for their moment in the spotlight, to be named and resolved. Like a nestful of robin chicks all chirping furiously for their feeding. One of the things I was SURE I never did was stimming. Stimming I associated with the standard image of autism, the non-communicative boy who maybe sits in a corner rocking or walking around a room furiously flapping his hands. "No, DEFINITELY not me!", I thought. I'm sophisticated, polished, a public speaker, totally in control of myself.... And then the cracks emerged in the wall of my self-concept. All my childhood habits, twitches, tics and sheer NEED to discharge the visceral "static" in some kind of physical impulse. The finger-twitching, the over-blinking, pacing and marker-twirling while teaching, and perhaps most tellingly of all, the inner buildup of a sick, nauseous tension, a trapped and suffocating feeling--kind of like dying, really--whenever forced to suppress all such "venting" (stimming) for protracted periods--like sitting at a committee or board meeting, or in church, or at a family gathering with everybody sitting around the table chatting. Again and again the inner "madness,' the feeling like being a fly continously flying into a window in its attempt to get outside, or having that fly inside me. The desperate need for that release, that "vent," just builds up and you can't even remotely fathom how on EARTH everybody else sitting there can stand this. Because you're assuming everybody feels exactly what you do. This is one of the miracles of an autism discovery: the dispelling of the double illusion that, 1) everybody else feels exactly the same, and, 2) you're crazy for writhing inwardly at what nobody else seems bothered by. That epiphany opens up a whole new world of options and approaches for self-care and self-advocacy that you could never have imagined before you either needed or had a right to. You don't even need, necessarily, to go out there and start advertising "I'm autistic and these are my needs!" In many instances it's enough simply to say that this or that setting/situation is one you have a particular incapacity to cope with for long and therefore you will either avoid them or limit your exposure to them. People don't need to know everything (certainly not all of them do!)--they just need to know where your boundaries are. We don't owe the world total transparency on this matter any more than we do an any number of other matters we might choose to share only with our most intimate friends and loved ones. It's enough for the world at large to say, sometimes, "No, I don't do that." It has no intrinsic right to more than that.
@@kensears5099 I love this. So well articulated. That pervasive bewilderment that others around me seem totally unbothered by what is unbearable for me …. Ya. So often I find myself looking around and wondering if everyone else is truly an NPC and I’m the only one aware that I am in a video game and I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next while they say and do the same things over and over again, never thinking to do something different. The one phrase I would use throughout my life when trying to relate my inner distress to others has been, “I feel like everyone else got the manual first day of school and I was in the washroom and they forgot to give me my copy. Or like I’m always standing outside, looking in through the window and I want to enter the room, but I can’t find the door and no one see’s me standing there outside alone.”. But because neurotypical people have moments here and there of feeling lost or alone, they would say, “Ya, I’ve kinda felt like that before, too …” and so I would think, “Oh. Everyone feels this. I’m just not as strong as they are so it bothers me more ….”. Because all autistic experiences are human experiences, non autistic people hear your experiences and think, “well, ya …. That’s normal …. I feel that, too …” but they miss that the experience is far more intense for us and it’s not an occasional occurrence, it’s a constant. Especially when you’ve been someone who was able to mask really well for most of your life, you really are unseen, and the longer you mask, the more unseen you become even to yourself. I’m still in the process of coming to terms with this. I want to pursue a formal diagnosis but have a million mixed thoughts and feelings about it. I kinda feel similar that I don’t necessarily want to tell people about it because that label comes with a lot of images and beliefs in other people’s minds and it feels like it could just end up with yet another layer of a mask but this time one imposed on me from the outside. I’ve managed this long in my life. I know what I’m dealing with now. I can set up my own boundaries and perhaps just explain some things to the closest people in my life so there is more ability for me to take care of myself the way I need to.
I was diagnosed as AuDHD at the age of 43. Six years after I experienced what would become irreversible burnout from decades of trying to adapt to neurotypical society and expectations... and failing. Because I didn't know I was autistic and blamed myself constantly for my inability to "get it" and be "normal". There quite literally became a point where I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't work anymore, and I became a recluse that lives in total isolation. It was only then that I began noticing my autism, because I was "allowed" to be my true self for the first time in my life. It was a very confusing time that led to an identity crisis, since I believed my "true" self was my masked identity, and the autism traits HAD to indicate I had a personality disorder. It was messed up. Anyway, burnout sucks. Especially if you don't know you're autistic and therefore don't know how to prevent it. But even though my burnout was extreme, it changed my life for the better. Because I know who I am now, and can be myself 24/7. The chaos is gone and now every day is predictable and routine. For the first time, I experience peace.
Hi if you don't mind sharing a "where are they now" about yourself...what do you do now that brings you peace, routine and predictability? I'm very happy for you. And thank you for sharing ❤
As an autistic who suffered years of trauma and years of burnout throughout my life, I realized that my brain was in a constant state of hypervigilence. I was too hyper aware of everything to the point that certain areas of my brain had shut down, resulting in a 180° personality change. I developed severe agoraphobia for five years and shut myself in. I am barely coming out six consecutive years of burnout. It was the longest burnout of my life, but I grew up in survival mode and had periods of burnout. This last burnout had gotten so bad that I still struggle to tolerate going out into public, eating, keeping up with my talents (art, playing piano, etc), doing things I had always enjoyed, taking care of myself, and doing simple errands. I had more intense meltdowns more often; even the slightest inconvenience or stimuli could throw me into a meltdown. The meltdowns would take days to recover from. I began stimming much more for the last six years, and my autism hindrances had gotten worse. It went from utter despair to rage and apathy after the areas of my brain had eventually shut down. I began to dissociate for longer periods of time, sometimes losing hours. I still cannot hold any conversation with a person in real life, and have no desire left to. It sometimes takes me weeks to reply to messages on fb. That takes even more effort than usual as I used to be very articulate. For the last *several years, I began having problems with writing messages. It now takes me even longer to process things, longer to process what I want to say, and I now struggle with writing when I was always better at writing than verbal communication. I still struggle, but I am really trying to start doing simple things to work my way back out of burnout. Whenever I start getting myself doing things that I enjoy, something happens and knocks me right back out of it. It is not easy.
Me too. Keep reading, watching the vids, feeling the pain that washes up. Decades of repressed trauma doesn't resolve quickly. Get out in nature. One day at a time.
Right there with you. 55, diagnosed last year, AuDHD … I’m frickin’ exhausted but all high masking and “gifted” so mostly seen as just lazy, entitled, and annoying.
Yes... Will be 50 this year and just learned this about myself last month... Thanks in part to, you guessed it, burn out! I'm overwhelmed, to say the least.
Thanks so much for making a video that was uncomfortable to make. My eyes just slowly started to water and then I just cried. I feel so alone in feeling exactly like what you describe. I think only the people here can understand these tears of connection, tears of community, the peace of not being the only one.
Late diagnosed autistic woman here, can relate. General tip for people, especially women: if you suspect you also have physical issues, investigate & push for diagnosis. I turned out to also have arthritis and food intolerances, but took decades to get diagnosed because I was constantly so unwell & dissociated & blocked out the pain & discomfort, so it was hard to specifically identify.
I’ve been in Autistic burnout at least a couple of times during my 32 years without knowing I was Autistic until getting diagnosed this month. The burnouts have taken a huge toll on me. It doesn’t make it easier that I have demand avoidance.
One of the things I've gotten from my doctors is "You're isolating, you need to get out more" when I know in my brain and body, I need to be out less and away from people to try to get a grip on myself. I still haven't been assessed, that's next month. The more I research, the more I'm leaning towards that this is more of an answer than depression & anxiety. I also have PTSD and autoimmune disease that love to feed off each other like a huge trash fire. Whoa. That was interesting about the burnout vs non-burnout perspective on humanity, I'm more on the burnout end of things right now if that's what's going on with me. I have a cardiac stress test and dentist appointments coming up (who doesn't love going to the dentist when even someone saying hello makes me want to run and hide?). I'm wondering how I'm going to make it through those appointments even though I know I need to do them. Weekly physical therapy appointments and support groups are good for me, if I can handle getting to them without wanting to hide any time I'm not at them. Scheduling is a huge part of trying to manage what I call "breakdowns" for now. Needing to space out the stressful appointments while getting in the self care appointments is a delicate balancing act! Thank you for this video, even if it turns out I don't have autism/ADHD, there's some really good tips in here for dealing with chronic pain and depression/anxiety 😊
As a person who gets a period...man, autistic burnout and my cycle genuinely nearly ended me. I quit two jobs it was so bad. Quitting my job stopped the intensity. Unfortunately, I'm still jobless and in burnout but somehow even the stress of THAT doesn't exacerbate my period anxiety and depression like holding a job did.
Oh, yes. I feel you. I get the worst migraines when it’s that time, and they last for a week. For a week a month I’m useless and feel like a failure and having 5 kids just drains every drop of energy I already don’t have. It’s comforting to know there are others that understand
I really appreciate other autistic people sharing their experiences of burnout. I forget that burnout is a thing, and to be gentle with myself because of it, even though when I zoom out and look at my life I've mostly been operating it a burnout state for the last 10+ years. Also, in regard to pain I experience the worst of it in and around my stomach, and it started when I was so young that my muscles tightening around it actually deformed my ribcage on the left side! Which equals more pain! Wheeeeee! Shout out to not being diagnosed and having to deal with the schooling system for kicking it off 👌🏼 Thanks for sharing Chris, I hope your day brings you peace and calm 🧡 P.s. I had planned to say other things but my brain broke when I started trying to make words leave it
Autistic burnout is such a thing and people need to seek out people to help them, especially if they are late diagnosed and to help learn the early signs (for me it's noise!) There are ways to improve it and to work on it and places you can go to prevent it before it gets to the stages that have gone far. But thank you for doing this video because it is so so important to keep talking about
I am currently burnt out so bad I feel hungover all the time... Edit: omg Im at the first one - exhaustion - and for years Ive been saying "I dont struggle with emotional depression anymore, but I still have a lot of physical symptoms." And now I just got to #2 and um... yeah... woof... This was extremely helpful. I am going to delve further into this.
Wow, it is so validating to hear all of this from someone else. Thank you for sharing your perspective and for giving others the terminology for what we also experience. Great video.
You will be able to go back and pick certain selective things up again in time when you are physically and mentally ready to do so, don’t rush it though your body will know when the time is right even if you don’t. Learn to get in touch with it and listen to it in time you will understand what it has to say and this can help you learn to live a life that is more in tune with your needs
I'm sure after a lifetime of achievement peaks and burnout troughs, that the high expectations that my parents had for me transferred to being high expectations I had for myself. The pressure of those brought guilt when I was feeling exhausted but not achieving, so I didn't know how to stop. My body did it for me in the end and that was incredibly dangerous.
I love your videos so much! It's incredible how you are able to describe exactly my experiences from the few videos I have watched so far. It feels so good to hear! I've watched so many other videos from people on the spectrum over the past year and they are all great, but yours just hits me differently. I'm 40 and in the process of going through evaluations. The first one I had a year ago was a complete flop, and left me feeling rather hopeless. It's so important that those evaluating know what they are doing!!! I'm so excited these days finally, I still have crazy burnout but now I'm not so upset about it. Your channel is great!
Ironically, I'm watching this now because my wife told me, "you're not functioning, you need to go lie down". She was right; when I stopped I could feel the all-over pain I'd been blocking out. And someone's mowing their lawn, which is really distracting. I'm not in burnout, but I think the end of term rush at work has brought me pretty close...
Wow. I just came across your channel last night and it's been super ... validating ... I've been diagnosed severe ADHD, but my day to day experience doesn't match up with just ADHD. Especially right now where I've been experiencing my highest level of burnout I can recall, and it's been horrible. This video describes everything. When you mentioned how burnout can be confused with depression or present similar to depression, that resonated because I act depressed right now, but I don't feel depressed. All of this is really hitting close to home. I'm glad I found it.
Un answered phones and constant text notifications. Save me Please from alarm clocks I have literally thrown them into walls. Including phones. The beep of seat belt warnings or my car tells me when I am out of my lane when I am not! I freeze. Can't eat, sleep, or function. Zero executive function. I just sit and pick at my nails, cuticles or feel itchy Everywhere. Don't eat or dress for days. Just sit, quietly in the dark. My kids thought I was the energizer bunny with dead batteries. Don't do anything i love anymore. Used to dance, play violin, rock hounding, lapidary and make jewelry, and garden. Just can't. For years i have told people that i have all these masks for different things and had nightmares that i was alone and took the mask off and underneath was nothing. I am 66 and undiagnosed. I Have been diagnosed with "Atypical ADHD", CPTSD and chronic depression. Recently with Parkinsons.
You might look into Selegiline. I believe it's originally a Parkinson's drug but used off topic for ADHD, though I might have read about it a long time ago on the cptsd subreddit (so much overlap with ADHD and depression.) It helps the brain hold on to dopamine. Though if you have heart problems in your family I think it's a skip because of possibly increasing blood pressure.
Also, its so so exhausting and flat out distressing that whole issue of ruminating over past memories. So so SO MANY rabdom, often totally benign memories, but they come back again and again and again causing more and nore distress. And 100% in the isolation thing man. Just yo get away from the stimulus, especially people. People can be the absolute worst. 😂
Therapy can help with that but you’ve got to find the right professionals to help have you considered maybe searching for an nd psychologist to talk to
I'm 53, I was diagnosed with Autism last year. Didn't know of burnout before, but it feels like I've been in it for a few years. The loss of skills and the difficulty of learning new ones, constantly tired (physically, emotionally, cognitively), itchyness, brain fog/numbness seem likee they've been eith me for +/-10 years. I've been unemployed for about 6years (did Uber for 4 of them) and job hunting has been sporadic. My biggest hurdle is that I've felt scared I won't be able to pick up the skills for a new job. Like with meltdowns, knowing what I'm experiencing helps me to process it. Thank you so much for this video.
I am 77 and only 2 weeks into my self-diagnosis. I'm still overwhelmed with the concept that this answers a whole hell of a lot of questions I've had throughout my life. I have made an appointment with a clinician to find someone with expertise who can help me. It's a couple weeks away and on the same day that I am having a brain MRI to determine whether or not I have a tumor based on my last MRI 3 months ago. Don't need all this right now but don't feel like I'm in burnout. Haven't figured out yet how to get my family involved (and even believing me). One day at a time, I guess. Right now I'm excited that there is a real reason I am how I am. Blessings to you and Debby and all others going through this. The cup is still half full.
Not my business but I'm going to suggest that you take care of yourself first, and investigate your diagnosis and put the pieces of your own puzzle together before you try to include family. My experience family will deny you. But then I had a very toxic family. Even my own therapists scoffed immediately and said I couldn't possibly be ASD. Yet it's the only thing that everything fits into. With awareness comes consecutive ah hahs, both been looking at my husband and certain members of my family. I first started looking into autism to explain my husband's absolute weirdness and control freak tendencies, and inability to feel his emotions or explain his actions. The more we figured him out the more I saw some of the same things in me though different varieties and flavors of it. I have CPTSD and he doesn't. People with CPTSD were often abused because they are autistic. The degree of crossover is tragic. So some of what looks like autism is actually CPTSD. But something like 40% of people with CPTSD are ASD. I wish you all the best in your journey!
@@roughroadstudio You're right. I self diagnosed about a year ago. I live in a country where I will probably never be diagnosed. But I told a couple of close people, and their response was, "You're not autistic." I can't really deal with hearing that again. I am so certain I am. It explains my entire life. I am in total burnout right now. I can hardly drag myself out of the house. Nature is my only option, but it's too hot here right now, so I'm home except for the need to go to the grocery store.
My last big burnout, I was actually able to find my current therapist who has been helping me with strategies on how not to go that far down the rabbit hole. Luckily with my therapists help, the more recent burnouts have been shorter but still suck. Usually when I hit, I become a massive introvert as I see social interactions as the key trigger and talking to people just becomes painful. I standardly use gaming as my "happy place" and even I lack the desire to do that during burnout.
The thing that helps me the most is making a little to-do-list per day with a max of 3 tasks, and remake it every day, forgetting the day before. The crossing off of completed tasks gives that little boost necessary to want to do things again, the forgetting moderates the ruminating. What's important is that the threshold of the task has to be as low as you can handle, so in the difficult times, when it's even impossible to your favourite things, it could be as simple as "have a day" or "write your thoughts down" And slowly day by day you'll notice that you want to do things again, energy returns and the list can get longer 😊
I feel like I am currently experiencing both autistic burnout and a midlife crisis at the same time. Once again, I am unemployed. I can hardly stand filling out job applications because they are so tedious and because all the jobs I apply to are terrible and most of them don't pay much. I feel like I can't continue doing these terrible low-wage jobs anymore! I'm 42 years old and I have a bachelor's degree. Why am I doing or applying to jobs that teenage high school dropouts can do? But, because all I have ever done is a LONG string of shitty, low-wage jobs in retail, fast food, Disney, Walmart, and Amazon that my resume looks embarrassing. I rarely work anywhere longer than 1 year and the longest I have ever worked anywhere is 2 years. I'm beginning to feel like I am unemployable at this point. No one wants to hire me and I don't want to work for anyone! But, I don't want to be homeless, either. So, what can I do? My family isn't going to support me much longer and the government won't help much, either. I thought about trying to teach myself some new skills that would actually be in demand, but I ended up disliking them (namely data analytics and coding). So, now, My hope is to become a successful UA-camr and singer-songwriter. It will be rather difficult doing both of those things completely solo while also trying to find a "real" job, but I've accomplished extraordinary things before, so I'm confident I'll succeed eventually. It helps that I'm enjoying making UA-cam and music so far and that my channel has steadily grown since I first started uploading last year. An independent UA-camr/musician is the only career I can think of that would suit my personality and skills.
Hey bud hope you hang in there and get through it! I think it’s awesome that you’ve got a plan to execute that speaks to your passion. Only advice I would give based on experience: Go with the "Brick by brick" approach, and not the "All in" approach. There’s a lot of random ridiculous influencers that caught a lucky windfall that’s say dumb stuff like "don’t have a plan b"… All bs. It takes time to build things, but it’s possible with patience, evolving strategy, and focus. Take care and good luck!
@@Dancestar1981 Thank you! My little brother less than 2 years younger than me and is extremely successful financially and with life in general. It's not a "generation" thing at all. I'm still struggling with finding a job, but after focusing on applying to management positions, I've been getting a lot more interviews.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable s0urce here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, blizmyco. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Feel hugged, really honestly and deeply hugged. With enough pressure to feel the weight and not too much. The type of hug that gives you the feeling of understanding and you're are not alone, but without the presence of another human being. The type of hug that is precisely timed, where you don't have to think about when to stop and how to act, but that just magically last exactly how long it has to be. Just be understood. I didn't had this feeling in a long time, but today I had it. Thanks to you. I Thank you. I thank you so much
"You can and will get through it." That was my driving principle, my willpower's war cry, a cry sometimes inwardly repeated on a constant loop, during life's "Twilight Zone" episodes when nothing made sense except for (borrowing from some more 60s television) the Prime Directive to: Just. Keep. Going. No. Matter. What. When nothing else in the phantasmagoric world of kaleidoscopically assailing input provides a hook to hang on for a cognitive reconnoiter, in the midst of genuine catastrophes and chaos going on for months without let-up (like for instance the Russian invasion of Ukraine, which bore immediately on my life), all I could do was maintain the mantra: "Keep going no matter what, one foot in front of the other, don't think it through, just do, do, do." This was all before I made my autism discovery. That discovery not only made infinite sense of a whole lifetime but astounding sense of why I lost 30 pounds in three months during the crisis of 2022. I was, essentially, the way a singer with a bad cold tries to sing over the cold to get through a concert, I was by sheer willpower propelling myself to keep going over burnout, push through meltdown, scramble by hook or by crook through the sensory overload and the short-circuited masking. Which led to a kind of PTSD that took well over a year to subside. I couldn't even manage a conversation about the previous year's events without breaking down. And then I discovered my autism. And it all made sense. Now "You can and will get through it" is a friendly mantra, not the savage taskmaster of a mantra it used to be. Before it meant "You'll get through this even if it kills you." Now it means, "This doesn't have to kill you. You have choices and methods to regulate this."
Love the final line you included: "This doesn't have to kill you. You have choices and methods to regulate this." Anyone who is connected to autistic burnout through experiencing it themselves or watching someone they care about experience it always needs to know this. It's hard to realize how much you can work to control until you understand even small changes can make a big difference. You can't continue doing things the same way and expect it to get better - you really have to be the master of your own life. Thanks for sharing this, Ken. Glad we have you here! Always enjoy reading your comments - very insightful and helpful.
Yes. This. So many times, I have experienced burnout. Remembering what I used to accomplish and now can’t, is extremely frustrating. I am currently experiencing burnout from a job that I loved, but was in an environment that was a complete miss match to my needs. By the last few months of that job, I couldn’t do anything in my off hours. I just crashed. At the job, I felt like I needed to crawl out of my skin. I felt so overwhelmed by too much noise and too many people. We were also in the midst of a move to a different city, with two of our kids. They are teens, so they were wonderfully helpful. Thank goodness. I was so excited for a new start, in our new city, but now realize that I need the time to recover from years of burnout, before I can get involved in anything. I just want to isolate myself and do nothing. But then that’s at odds with all the things I want to accomplish, but I’m just too tired…
Thank you for this. It helped me recognize I wasn’t just stressed and depressed right now. I’m entering burnout. I’m going to try to accommodate myself better. Your recommendation about noticing which stimuli are the most troublesome was especially helpful, as obvious as it may be to others, as I have just been powering through and thinking “I should be able to handle this. I could before!”
I couldn't remember how to make a bed. Make a bed. How do you forget that? That's the burnout symptom that's bothered me the most. Thank you friend for making this video. I might go get a diagnosis so I can ADA some time off when I can't figure out how to do my job. That I've been doing for years, it's so frustrating. And everything makes me cry. And I hurt everywhere but aspirin won't touch the pain. Since I'm high masking and able to, I pretend to do another job when I'm like that and I can, but my performance isn't what it used to be since I don't know when. Since my last major traumatic event started, and even though it's no longer ongoing, my husband passed away at the end, so I just haven't been myself, and knowing that I'm part of this community and knowing I'm not the only one facing these challenges helps so much. Also I freaking overshare all the danged time. Not deleting it this time. Thank you again. Edit: Working from home helps with some of this and we feed the birds so I can hear them all day. I also set alarms on my phone for meds.
Making beds is overrated, seriously. That's the most self-defeating thing you can do. Sure, it feels like you did something, but there are other things that need to be done before this one ... And if you forgot about it, that's because your brain knows that too. Whoever instilled into you making the bed is simple and necessary is less smart than the produce of thousands of year of evolution. Clearly.
this is exactly what's happening to me right now and i feel frustrated and ashamed because i can't push myself to do the things i used to do more easily before, it feels like my brain is deteriorating or something and it physically hurts thank you so much for telling us we'll get through it, made me tear up and feel more hopeful
Thank you so much for this video. I was going through a horrible phase in my life and after watching this it made realize that I AM going through a autistic burnout. And this changes everything putting a name on it, not only helps me understand what is going on with me, but it will also help me navigating my way out through this crisis. I am in shambles and I had no idea how I was going to put my pieces together... now I know... thank you...
I cannot thank you enough for telling me about this I’ve been extremely chronically tired for half a year now; I haven’t seen my friends, failed all my classes, couldn’t do anything. I always thought it was depression and my p.o.t.s. but this seems to be the main problem. I haven’t been able to leave the house out of fear of embarrassment due to me not being able to mask anymore. Every sound I hear is extremely painful, and I now have to wear headphones, even though I’ve never needed to. I’ve been trying all the treatments for depression, but it’s been making me feel worse. Hopefully I can now work towards actually useful treatments.
One of the hardest times for me was when I was experiencing significant burnout during a change in seasons. Nature had been my safe place the previous month or two (it was early spring, at the time) during that instance of burnout. I would go out to a place I had discovered that was just perfect for me. I loved it. But then one day when I went out to my spot I just... Hated it. Well, I didn't think that at first, probably, but I knew I wasn't enjoying it like I had been. But I stayed out there thinking maybe I just needed to give myself some time and I'd settle into that cozy feeling. Nope, the discomfort only got worse. Then I think I started to realize what was different... Everything had come alive. The underbrush was growing back, leaves were on the trees again, and the bugs... I could feel and hear the bugs *everywhere*. There was no escaping them, nor the cluttered and choking feeling of all the wild growth of the plants that were now so much louder in the wind than I was used to. And the temperature too... Everything was getting warm and sticky. What had once been a safe haven had quickly turned into my own personal hell. I'm extremely sensitive to visual clutter, even "moderate" heat/humidity, and the mere presence of bugs (even if I can't hear or feel them) is incredibly "loud" to me. Little critters that are omnipresent, everywhere, and it's like I'm painfully aware of all of them all at once (esp if I'm sitting down outside). I'm not especially phobic of insects I think, btw. Not any more than most people. I think it's just the "volume" of the sensory input from them, just knowing they're there. Anyway, just throwing that out there in case anybody else needed to hear that nature isn't always a healing balm for us autistics and that they're not alone in feeling that way. :)
Sounds like me- everything becomes so overwhelming. The sensation of bugs, dealing with moist and itchy skin, overheating and the cloying oppressive feel of humidity. Fuzzy hair brushing against my face and getting itchy w different fabrics in hot sweaty weather. Sun sensitivity. Need more? It’s like I need 68-75 degrees, dry, sun and some clouds breeze.
Yes! In spring I need to get outside, because I have been cooped up all winter, I need sun! And at some point it is less fun, there is just too much, too much wind through the leaves, too much dust, too much heat. And too much people who also decided to go outside. It doesn't help that it is my own garden and by that time I have started way too many projects there and are completely overwhelmed. Sometimes good things need a break too, to stay good.
The more burnt out you are the more sensory sensitivities you will experience and the lower your threshold for challenge will be. This means your reactions are more likely to be volatile too. Self care is extremely important adequate rest, a sensible diet, leisure time enjoyable hobbies and lots of support from family are vital
@@mothdust1634I get that a nice quiet space to decompress and switch off from the world I schedule in a couple of days every week for that very purpose I call it my missing in action days where I just breathe and am not accountable to anyone but myself I also disconnect from phones etc during that time
This video means a lot to me. I have experienced autistic burnout during many months every year for almost 10 years now, but I only recently got my diagnosis. I am doing better at listening to myself than ever before, and these videos are an important part of me moving towards self acceptance and self care. Thanks!!!
I need a channel about the experience of pregnancy for Autistic women. Like, how you have zero boundaries, zero personal rights, and how your body is repeatedly violated with zero concern because now you are only a bag that carries a potential new life. And that potential new life is actually all they consider. Your body is in the way, and your personal wishes hinder their access, making you the enemy. You would think they are helping you to do the best for your baby, but they're really protecting the baby from YOU. Like, you want to talk about sensory overload and burnout, get pregnant. It's about the worst thing you can go through with ASD.
Yes it helps ground and calm you and when you are physically up to it gentle exercise is great too even if it’s just a walk or yoga and meditation to help you breathe properly from the diaphragm
I watched you for a while but I watched this and just kept snaking my hand over my mouth gobsmacked because you explained every single thing I do and I’ve not been able to express or explain or understand myself. I’m undiagnosed.
constantly fighting over stimulation, constantly fighting to be "normal" is wearing. i get exhausted sometimes migraines. i do deal with heat and fatigue at times, a good day i don't
I feel this to my core. Currently in burnout and it’s been going on for over a year. I too dont understand how things got so hard. I remember being a badass when I was younger. Now I struggle to function on a daily basis.
This is one of the most helpful things for me EVER. I was treated for major depression for so long and didn't know why nothing helped. I finally learned (a few years ago) that was on the spectrum, but I don't have people around that understand or know anything about it. And, I think I watched this at the right time to try to slow or prevent burnout that I wasn't aware was coming, or at least be kinder to myself if it happens. New subscriber. Thank you so much for your videos!
I've been struggling with this for what feels like my entire life at this point and I've never really been sure how to describe what I was feeling. This was like finding the Rosetta Stone for my fucked up brain. Thank you so much for your efforts 😊
This is such a great description of burnout. One of the hardest things is that other people don’t understand how horrible it feels and how painful it is and often dismiss our experiences. It was the worst burnout of my life that led to my AuADHD dx and there was almost no information about burnout available to help me try and get out of it, I’m only just clawing my way out two years later so I’m glad you’re making people more aware of it in such a detailed way. Thank you! 🙏
I'm so happy to be finding others who know what this feels like. Thank you for being brave and making this video while not feeling well. You've helped a lot of people 🌻
This was such a clear, concise, validating description of autistic burnout and my experience of it. Diagnosed with treatment-resistant major depression at 35 and autism at the age of 48, I’ve been waxing & waning in burnout for the last 7 years at least. It’s so hard to tease apart the depression from the burnout and how each impacts the other. This is the first time your videos have popped up on my recommended and I’m so glad it did. Thanks a bunch.
Watching this. Learning this ... I realised that these last 4 years of my physical health declining and me ending in a wheelchair with barely any function left in my hands (My muscles fatigue extremely fast) might not be due to the rare physical illnesses I have after all. Those things that couldn't be explained and made no sense ... now it does ... Thank you for doing what you do. You are making such a huge difference in the lives of so many.
Thank you....this makes so much sense. Autistic burnout led to me taking early retirement at 60....then got my Autistic diagnosis at 62. I try to take better care of myself now, but it still happens of course.
Thank you Chris! I'm also late diagnosed in my 40s. I was hesitant to dive into this topic, because I knew facing my own burnout and coming to terms with it had the potential to be very unpleasant. Hearing you talk about it, its causes, symptoms, and what I can do to help... Well it all was so relieving that by the end of the video my eyes were uh... leaking fluid. Thanks man. Thanks for doing what you do.
This made me feel so seen 😭❤ I’m going to share this video with my family to help them understand where I’m at right now. Ive been in burnout for two years and I’ve had well-meaning people tell me that I need to push myself more… I honestly do the best I can. I understand that they can’t see how hard my brain and body are working just to get the basics done. I’ve made a lot of progress, and I’m trying to be patient. I’m looking forward to no longer feeling trapped in my own body.
I'm experiencing almost everything you've described, and cried through this video because it was such a relief to have someone describe it when I can't, and who understands it. Thank you for making this.
Kudos to you Chris for making this video while deep in burnout, I was thinking throughout how much effort this must have taken! Thank you so much for giving such a thorough and easily accessible description, I didn't realise autistic burnout was such an understudied phenomenon
As a person with adhd, not autism, I go through this as well. The biggest symotoms for me is the pain (like a chronic fatigue), the rumination, and needing to be left alone - but actually doing worse when I'm alone...
i am the same… Having watched this, i am suspicious I have Autism on top. Online test thinks so. Might explain why meds just don’t seem to help. Like a battle between ASD and the ADHD, until they get in sync again. 🤷♂️
Man the mental pain you describe was real for me. I thought it was just depression back then (so did my therapists) but it was when I was in school so I would still force myself to meet the bare minimum requirements of my responsibilities (the structure helped). I was still chronically exhausted and because I was masking heavily god my brain felt like it was constantly on fire. I got to college and stopped trying so hard to do things for other people’s validation and just tried to get through school so the brain pain slowly went away. Still chronic fatigue and moving out led me to discover I couldn’t take care of myself but I was out of that mental pit. Now that I’ve graduated and have an autism diagnosis I’m slowly pulling myself out of burnout. I guess it’s been close to 8 years of varying levels of burnout for me and I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah school was a total nightmare for me. Didn't help that at home I didn't have peace. Family felt fine barging into my room when I was most upset to disturb my peace on purpose or to yell at me to knock it off. Even though I have a hard time taking care of myself and my own needs moving out has actually been a huge help. Thank god for AI and the internet. It's my own assistant.
I seriously got up and left this video probably 20-30 times because it hit home so hard. But it was also one of the best explanations I have ever heard, so I really appreciate the vocabulary to advocate for myself. Thank you Chris!! 💛✨
Commenting feels hard because I'm in a bit of burnout myself, but you could have been talking about me with. Every. Word. These are some great tips. I always forget to accommodate myself 🙄
I can not believe how accurately you have documented me! I have been on antidepressants for over 30 years (female). I am in burnout now but I have so many jobs (upholstery) to do but I can't do them. I have never been able to articulate how I feel or understand what is happening. Recently I have learnt that I just have to wait until it passes but that is so frustrating. I am waiting for an appointment for a diagnosis for both ADHD and Autism. Thanks so much for making these videos
Wow…. Wow. This describes so much of my experience… my pain ends up being emotional, leading to actual pain in my heart. No one knows what I am going through and I don’t like worrying people so I completely isolate but lately it gets scary . I just came out of talking to almost no one except for my mum for 6 weeks straight. Avoiding all eye contact with everyone. Wow.. I’m mind blown by this video
nothing has ever captured how I felt more concisely than this. Thank you. I feel seen in a time where I can't function in society or find my needs met.
Good timing. I’m working on a meme for this. I liken it to when my computer all of a sudden goes into auto maintenance scan mode, right during a zoom meeting. No matter how much I click the mouse, it’s unresponsive.
Thank you for sharing this. I just completed my assessment, confirming what I suspected: adult ASD with ADHD. What you described here is extremely similar to what I've been experiencing. I haven't figured out where my people are, locally, so it's all pretty isolating. The real challenge is the way I'm just not performing at my job. The team is growing rapidly, and I feel like the culture is taking off in a direction I can't keep up with. I work for a manager with ADHD who no longer wants to have discourse with me on balancing neurodivergent needs with delivering at the breakneck pace being expected. I need to start learning what my tools are to establish healthy expectations and boundaries. That's the current crisis/challenge. But your video helped me feel like I am not alone (even if I really am at the moment), that there are others very much like myself, and that ya'll are figuring it out. Making it work. And maybe I can get there, too. Thanks, Chris. Keeping doing :waves around wildly: all of this.
@@mothdust1634once you get an idea of your “skill level” then you can see how hard they seem, relatively. For example, when I’m running on empty, the “hard” level is too much to complete. But when my brain is functioning well I want to be on the “very hard” level because it’s more challenging. You have to play for a while and pay attention to how easy (or hard) it seems on any given day.
I used to play sudoku all the time and i never realized this was such a factor for me until seeing this...now i know why sometimes i could blow through them on medium and hard and other days i struggled on easy puzzles 😢
This was what I needed today, Chris. I believe I’ve been in burnout for quite some time now, as I’m constantly stuck in the suicidal realm. It frustrates me to no end because as you said, I have no idea what I need to ask for, for help. Thanks for sharing and thanks for being here
I am just in the process of getting an autism diagnosis and all these things are new to me but I have realised I have been in burnout for over a year. It is such a relief to know what it is, I was starting to worry I had alzheimers as I lost so many of my skills and energy levels. The burnout came on while dealing with my wonderful dad getting cancer and then watching him lose the battle, it was the most hideous emotional, physical pain for him and for us supporting him. Sadly he passed away a year ago and before he did I was already having days off work because I literally could not get out if bed. My job seems 10 times harder than it was before, I struggle with communication and people really don't understand.😫I am so grateful I now know and am treating myself kindly, I have pulled back on everything I was doing (including seeing friends and helping out at church) I am slowly getting there but definitely have relapses!! Thank you for sharing all this info Chris, much appreciated.🙏👍🙂
Traumatic events will definitely trigger burnout you can be awesome in the moment of crisis and step up when needed but it drains you once the adrenaline wears off. I understand perfectly I have dual diagnosis ASD and combined ADHD and was recently caring for my mum who had a serious health scare and was unwell for several months. She’s much improved now.
Wow, this really hit me! I have felt like this, especially lately. I’m not diagnosed with ADHD or autism, but I do have many of the symptoms so I appreciate this content!
I’ve been on a slow (or fast?) descent into burnout since about 2018, which has been compounded/prolonged by a lot of trauma. I have only recently begun to understand (through my own autistic child) that I have been “high masking” for many years. I have sought out help from psychologists to better understand my condition after years of misdiagnosis and medications, but I look forward to the day I can re-engage with life back in ways I used to, how I remember before years of trying to conform and fit in eroded away at my very being. But I have hope, I’ve already reached my rock bottom and I know what I’m dealing with in my body, no matter what others may have told me years prior. And I look forward to the day I can reengage with life and special interests in a way similar to how I remember I used to because I know how much I am capable of when not in a state of burnout. And I believe that time is closer than I think, just around the corner! So for today, I rest and relax as much as possible and try not to beat myself up anymore for years of not feeling good enough to “cut it” in a neurotypical world. Thanks for the effort you put in to make this video and for helping others feel validated and less alone, even when sometimes, I prefer to be! 💜
Such an important subject, thanks for making this video ❤. A year ago I was hit by major burnout, and was on sick-leave for months. I went to a stress-coach, saw a psychiatrist and got diagnosed (adhd and autism), and changed my job to working part time in a less demanding position. I actually like my life and my work, yet I can't go more than a few days into each week before feeling a terrible sense of overwhelm, exhaustion and wishing I could just freeze time. It's become somewhat better as I learn about why this build-up happens, but I really hope I can actually get to a point where I don't feel it at all, or at least less often. Wearing noise-filtering earplugs, sunglasses, and using fidget toys helps, but my job requires quite a lot of masking, so I may need to switch again, perhaps to something where I work from home and mainly talk to clients via phone, to cut down on eye contact and masking.
I needed to pause your video several times because I started crying again and again. I feel so much of what you've been saying. And now I also feel so much validation for the things I've been experiencing. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart
To everyone who joins our usual live Friday premieres - We are currently traveling and completely mixed up the time zones, so this one posted without the premiere (completely accidentally😬 oops)
We missed seeing you all - BUT next week we will be back at our usual time. Hope you enjoy the video, and thanks for being here!! ❤
I was actually doing nordic walking in the nature on a dike/levee. I wanted to be at the premiere chatting with you but I recognized then the video was already up.
I already assumed you mixed up the timezones.
Thanks for the video anyway.❤❤❤
I was not aware that chat was possible at your premieres, nor do I know the regular time for them. Please clue me in. Thanks, Nancy
Kombucha is awesome!! My favorite ‘carbonated’ treat!!
And that is great as well for the system.
I would love it if you could a video or loved ones knowing how to help their person during burnout & how to be.
And I’m in the worst burn out of all the burn outs I have ever been in as well as what considers it was my ex-GP’s medical malpractice that lead to further neurological disorder. 😭 and I was i’m making sure things good..
Anyway, thank you for this video because boy do I ever resonate with this soo hard!!
I don't ruminate!
I reexist through the same traumas as current.
@@lionunderthestars7019 our Premiere time is on Fridays at 7:15pm London time - not sure of your time zone, but hope this helps. We'll have a new one tomorrow - would love to see you there!
I used to spend 12 hours or more doing animations, drawing, wrighting stories, learning a new skill, programming, whatever. It's been more than 5 years since I could sit down and study a new skill. I've been trying to pick up a specific new skill for over three years now because, well, after a minute or so I'm spent. I never associated that loss of ability with my lack of social interaction, the constant buzzing in my body and mind, my lack of ability to cope with sudden loud sounds at work and lack of emotional regulation. Even the body pains I've felt over the last half-decade I just associated to age. You've actually described 90% of my daily struggle for that time. I'm only recently diagnosed with autism and I'm still salty that I didn't get the updated life manual with it. This was the single most helpful autism video I've seen in the last 2 years. Thanks.
I'm actually beginning to wonder if some of the chronic pain I've been coping with since 2020 is really Long Covid, like I'd assumed, or if it's burnout related. It *did* start with a nasty case of Covid, but I'm realising that I've also been almost perpetually burned out for the last 4 years. Maybe there's hope that I'll get past this constant pain, and be able to get back to one of my favourite special interests - classical ballet, one of the best workouts ever invented, and true food for my soul, should it exist. I really miss hiking, too, and maybe I *will* be able to hit the trails again should the burnout be addressed.
As it stands, I'm trying to force myself up and out the door, because I'm in desperate need of groceries, and that will be my activity for the day. I'll only have the physical capacity for some nice, relaxing cross-stitch after that. XP
Yes, I got diagnosed at 57 two years ago and have been in autistic burnout over three years. Just last week I thought I was doing better then I went into shut down for three days. My skills are coming back slowly but I can't learn anything new.
me too ... I have so much I want to do but I feel like I only have the ability to watch youtube.
@@dragonstooth4223 I hear you. I can't even think at full capacity anymore!
"I'm still salty that I didn't get the updated life manual". Oh, boy, do I feel that.
Are you old enough to remember The Greatest American Hero? In the pilot, the manual for Ralph's superhero suit falls out of the box in the desert, never to be seen again. The only way they figure anything out about it is by trial and error (... a lot of error). As a teenager, that really hit home. At almost 60, I'm just starting to piece together why my life has been that way.
crying in the work bathroom right now feeling like i am understood by at least some people out there. this shit is so exhausting, man. the feeling of “i know i can do this, why cant i make myself do this” and then gaslighting myself into believing im just lazy… fuck
Omg I feel this so much. I wake up everyday and don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I love socializing but the world just feels so scary when I’m in burnout. I just want to stay home and in bed watching my favorite childhood shows trying to escape to a time when I felt more free
Me too! I haven’t been able to put into words to my family or friends how I’ve been feeling. This video has. I’m undiagnosed but I’ve had thoughts for a long time that there is something else going on other than “chronic depression”.
@@katelyneason451 This could have been my comment word for word
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Jiddu Krishnamurti
😢❤ same
I have been in burnout for two years now and it feels like a never-ending battle, i mourn the person I used to be. I fear I will never be a functional person again, it never stops.
I've felt the same, but especially over the past two years. I feel like my world is crumbling.
Wow I wrote down something similar just today. Sending love 🥹
Ive been in burnout for three years now 😔.
Me too
Same and we're not alone, society is burning out lots of people these days
Misdiagnosed throughout my life with depression and anxiety, then autism diagnosis in my 70's! My life could have been so much better if I had known. I love your videos.
So happy that you’ve found yourself with a diagnosis that fits you
It’s so positive to have explanations for your experiences that have gone overlooked or misunderstood for so long
Same absolutely knackered permanently and the overwhelm omg!
Super proud of you for advocating for yourself!
Bless you. I'm so pleased for you that you know now. ❤️❤️❤️
This is the same thing that happened to me. I did a little better, finding out at 47.
My husband experienced autistic burnout but fortunately I had a full-time job and I could support him. However it took him about 4 years to recover. It was really frustrating because other people didn't understand, and I really didn't understand because we didn't know he was autistic. But I love him so much that I refused to give up.
What helped Us was actually moving to the state where my dad lived and he was able to get a job at the company he used to work for. I think not having a job made the burnout harder to recover from because he felt worthless.
Yeah when I am not contributing I feel like a leech.
What helped me is getting on vyvanse again after five years. COVID demolished me with all the changes and overwhelmS
Well done together, and so glad to hear you got through it 🙏 We are in the middle of the chaos and working very hard to get though it. I’ve posted some videos on my channel if you’d be interested to follow our story.
You're doing the right thing staying with him. Most today would probably look for greener pastures due to heavy egotistical mindsets
On the flip side I cannot get out of burnout BECAUSE I'm forced to work and continue exerting myself with no help. I would kill to be able to just leave my job and recover, but not everyone has that privilege...
Apparently I've been in autistic burnout for a while and have it known. I started crying because you describe everything I've been going through. Thank you for helping.
I'm in it right now. And I had to quit my career due to autistic burnout 6 years ago, before I even knew I was autistic.
@@MichaelLesterClockwork I had a similar experience, and there’s some relief for me now in being able to identify what happened. Sending you support from New Zealand too, friend ✌️
❤❤❤
Same here, I started crying after minute 0:47. I feel you and every word he said. Feel loved and hugged, I am so sorry for what you've been through
@@MichaelLesterClockworkNot my career, but my last stable job, in 2016, and have been in some level of burnout ever since. Finally only now getting the opportunity to recover. I’ll never go back to full time employment. It’s hard to let go of something I was so good at.
Beautifully described!
During burnout, I feel desperate, like "when is it gonna get better? When is this pain going to end?" And that's when those "I'll be better off when I'm dead" thoughts creep in. It's frightenening and depressing, considering I am not a depressed person normally.
Do you also have that feeling of just wanting to be Gone From Here? Like not “I want to die” just “I want to not exist” because I’m just So. Damn. Tired.
@@Lari-lc3zq I get this feeling of just wanting to "go home" even when I'm sitting in my place of residence. It's always confused me. Like I need a break. I need a step back from this mortal plane- not that I want to die, but the idea of a light coma sounds very appealing.
@@jjsom221 “Just a little sleep for a while then I’ll come back” 😉
@@jjsom221 i get that feeling often too!
@@jjsom221Yeah I know that coma feeling. I just want to be asleep or just lie in bed thinking about nothing 24/7. And I've been living at home with my parents and doing nothing for the last half year😢
Autism, adhd, this and that... But nobody talks about how we are pushed to work all the time in a world that's so unnatural for the human animal.
I have so much of what you're talking about... We are surrounded by work... Woooooorrrkkkk... Woorkkkkk
Workout
Work
Work on your relationship
Work on your meditation
Everything is wooooorrrkkkkkkk
LOL
@theodor. Jesus, finally somebody that makes sense! Here in the U.S. northeast (specifically, washington, dc.)always felt im surrounded by a bunch of worker bee, automatons, who only talk about work, striving, upward mobility, success, yadda, yadda, yadda. Would secretly drive me crazy, but I'd put up the facade of agreement to keep up with the Joneses like everyone else. As a neurodivergent now in my 40s, i dont care anymore what others think, trying to live life on my terms now, but its still hard.
@@dhall936 I know... It is the same everywhere. I am from Romania but currently living in Sweden. The level of anxiety and stress is growing though you would think things are better etc. because we live in the west. Many factors plays within this from politics to other issues.
But we as a species grew as a hunter gatherer tribe. We also moved a lot. Then of course we discover farming and that went away. But the need of ADHD people where still needed. Explorer, hunters etc.
We live in a society where the hunters and explorers are not needed. I listened to DRk K. Healthy gamers talking about this, Our society benefits the farmers not the hunter/explorers. Funny enough I am a painter - and I have days when I loose my mind just looking at a painting for 3 to 6 hours. This is not normal to work like this everyday!
So much to say but I so so so feel you... Our world is not natural at all. It is so artificial - people are having it so easy! Life ain't suppose to be easy - without hardship and suffering you do not know what is a good and what is lets say balance.
Good luck over there...
I will also share the link from Dr. K. Enjoy :)
ua-cam.com/video/HN5BoBlY0MU/v-deo.html
Qué buen comentario
I found that learning about spirituality helped me alot with burnout.
Ram Dass was a big inspiration.
There are people with beautiful souls, loving and happy, and they don't work so hard.
Working that hard isn't needed.
Good observations….
Thank god you said "eat what you want" because I went through 17 cookies while watching!
Eight Mars bar ice creams here.
I'm CRAVING some kit kat bars
I actually forgot to eat the entire video💀 I made breakfast before and forgot, it stood in front of me
Oh god now I want cookies but the grocery delivery guy couldn’t find my house yesterday and I CANNOT go out 😭
And some crossaints would be nice too...
I am a mom to a young man with autism. We live in Sweden. I would like to thank you for your videos. They help me to understand my son and his needs.
Love from your neighbour Denmark
@@Mathias_and_Mat_Emirates hello. Next door😊
A couple minutes after watching this I broke down sobbing with relief / realization / desperation that this is what I have been living for 8 years after some serious family trauma. My recent realization of having autism (undiagnosed, because it costs $2000 in Canada to see a specialist and get tested) on top of ADHD which was diagnosed at 4yo, your videos have given me so many “ah-ha” and lightbulb moments, but this one was like reading me my emotional thermometer from the last decade
It’s such a great realization to know that your body and mind are breaking down not because you are crazy or lazy, but because you live in a world that doesn’t fully understand what it means to be autistic and you’re having to work harder than most to fit in. I spent years constantly ripping myself apart because I was furious my cognitive capacity and energy levels were declining. I kept telling myself to keep pushing and get tougher. Now I understand that I am tough, but not invincible. As I learn more about my autistic brain and the environment that works for me, I’m making the necessary adjustments and things are improving. This really helps with self confidence and self esteem.
I’m really happy my videos are helping. I hope you go easy on yourself and make the adjustments you need to get out of autistic burnout. It’s not a fun place to be at all. You’re not weak or crazy. You’re probably autistic and exhausted.
WOW. I HAVEN'T STOPPED CRYING SINCE WATCHING THIS VIDEO. Now, to pull off the miracle - to find a doctor in Australia who I can afford, who will also ACTUALLY HELP ME instead of dismissing me, I just cannot bear even the THOUGHT of seeing YET another NARCISSISTIC doctor & paying through the nose to be mistreated, abused, neglected and ignored. I've experienced SO MUCH HARM from THE VERY DOCTORS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME. THIS is the 3rd time I've written, then deleted and rewritten , I don't have the energy to try again, imma try more later. So grateful to have found your channel ❤😊
And this is exactly why I won't let my adult son with confirmed ADD go to the doctor to "get help". (What I mean is that I continue to strongly discourage him from getting involved with a wild goose chase with doctors while many well-meaning friends encourage him to go in that direction.)
I am pretty much convinced that he would be misunderstood, misdiagnosed, mislabelled and otherwise abused by an ignorant medical system. He would then ruin his "clean" and essentially empty medical file with what amounts to medical libel, something which can follow you around for the rest of your life once some ignorant doctor who doesn't listen makes a misinformed pronouncement.
Yes, medical libel is an unfortunate reality. My son is unlikely to ever make enough money to pursue clearing his file through the court system and thus fix the problem, so I still think that the best approach is an ounze of prevention. I tell him to stay away from the wrong doctors, which, unfortunately, is most of them at this time.😢
This video has already proved more helpful than "consulting with our medical professionals". And, if you have to add some kind of ridiculous warning to your material to cover your legal butt, so be it. I know how to play "that game" to get information. I use information with informed consent on my own recognizance. Soon enough things will change for the better, information will win out over ego and ignorance, and we will be wiping the floor with a bunch of medical degrees that need to go in the garbage when it comes to this type of condition. I will protect my son. @@falictyelliott8752
For me, it is the frustration with my loss of skills and the overwhelm I feel all the time that makes me so angry and sad. I have been in burnout several times over the years and this last episode started last year. I feel like with each episode I lose more and more executive functions and become more and more sensitive to stimuli. I have had to quit my job because I no longer could mask or tolerate my work environment. I don’t know what to do about all this. I’m trying to rest but then I feel guilty and ashamed for taking time to rest.
I am right there with you. Experienced extreme burnout after 2021, could not work for 18 months. Now i can barely work 3 days a week 🙃
I used to work 6 days a week and attend rallies and marches etc. And now i get anxious opening facebook.
I just keep reassuring myself that it will get better. And i document my progress. But mentally im just not the same. Are we ever the same again after experiencing multiple burnouts?
I know it’s hard, but you have to accept you NEED rest. If half of the energy you gained from rest went to feeling guilty about resting, it’s not very effective ! With the same amount of rest I now feel much better because I don’t care anymore. And also, the loss can be, to some extent, permanent. So,better to take a few days off a week than having to quit for 3 months or losing your job because you just can’t do it anymore.
Take care.
Yes!! I am finding it harder and harder to mask, but my job is dependent on it (the social skills) in combination with the loss of skills and heightened sensory sensitivity if is such a deadly combo esp. professionally. 😢
I am going on the same journey, been diagnosed Autistic . Work have higher & higher demands with a zero tolerance policies, if your not 100% dodnt come in. Know body under stands. So alone...
I'm in a similar situation. So fried from work that I quit in June and was having panic attack symptoms looking for a new one. Then in August I learned I am autistic. This is a lot to process, and I'm really scared I won't go back to "normal" (for me) again. I need to work, but just can't right now. I've experienced this before but never this extreme. At least I finally understand it, but I really don't know what to do next.
I was also late diagnosed at 37. This describes exactly what I've been going through. I've gone from "having high potential" with multiple degrees and career path, to unemployed and aimless. All because my brain finally just said, "Nope. We quit".
I love the. My brain said "We quit". It is exactly how I see my brain at times. as a separate entity, that can stop me from doing something. And I get anooyed by it.
I’m 43 and in the same boat you know what now it’s time for you to decide what you really enjoy doing in your life what you are good at and seeing if you can pivot that into employment for yourself
Omg thank you, I am a mental health professional and suspect I am autistic. This was brought up by my psychiatrist at age 60. I thought I was just depressed and losing my mind. I had no idea this was a thing. I have had days that if needing to go out I meltdown and cry.hubby thinks I’m being silly. Thank you thank you
The loss of skills is rough. When it hits me people will talk to me, I will hear them, but no matter how clearly they say it I just can't process their message. I really can't work in those moments, I just have to go home.
this is EXACTLY what im going through right now too, which sucks because my job like most peoples requires me to be listening to people constantly :/
@@GregtheGovlintime to get out it’s not the right environment for you
I'm 68 years old (nearly) and was diagnosed with ADHD, but only because Kaiser doesn't allow for adult diagnoses of autism. I just found your channel, in the midst of burnout, and need to thank you for your work. I'm recognizing childhood difficulties and giving myself credit for the incredible work I've done in masking. Also, after watching this video, loving and respecting myself and what's happening to me now. The relief is large and I'm going out to the mountain range close by for some clear and wonderful moments. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again.
Finally it makes sense. I have been understanding that I am autistic a month ago at 48. I went through multiple burnouts in the last 10 years, I hasd CPTSD as well and thought it was it but it wasn’t and did everything I could about it: meditation, yoga, hypnosis, therapy, you name it and each time I would get better for a while and crash again. I thought it was hormones, did some blood tests and now watching this, this is it ! I’ve been in autistic burn out for so many years that I got depressed. I’ve struggled with all that you have mentioned. I could not even watch a movie or read a book. I could not go on trips and it has been so overwhelming just to book a flight ! I have to prepare my suitcase almost a week before my travel whereas before I was anxious but excited. I even booked a flight the other way round, this would never happen to me in the past. I used to work like a machine, keeping my focus for hours and hours, now I’m like a baby. Been living in a cave, isolating from being overstimulated, I could not be even in a relationship. I had to go back and live at my mothers house in nature for a few months to rest. I’ve felt trapped in my body for so long and I’m not even talking about working. Even at school, I could not finish the week. I am studying my triggers, noise is the worst with smell, I’m wearing gym clothes and eating whatever lol. Thank you for the awareness you bring !
Putting systems and routines in place are key for me. Someday I hope someone will discuss autistic burnout and menopause.
YEESSS!
Sam Galloway autistic perimenopause - Google it, to find her substack.
It’s a new area of study
me too!!
The part about “expressing your needs” 👏👏👏
When my doc asks “what I need” (and I’m in burnout, as I am atm),
it feels like my brain’s going to spontaneously combust, because it (the brain that is) isn’t even functioning, I mean, like not one bit. Also the fact that any and all energy it had, already got spent when dragging myself to the appointment in the first place 🤯.
As a fellow ADHD+ASD’er (diagnosed as an adult) I really appreciate your content. It feels validating. Thank you. 🙏 Really.
I swear... this video came out right when we needed it.
For real. I'm undiagnosed, but after watching these videos, I think I can finally figure out that it might be Autism. Like 95% of everything in these videos hits the nail on the head.
@@JoMcD21 welcome to the club :)
Ha! Looking at my life through the lens of autism is just wild. Almost every time I watch a video about autism, I have a moment of, “Oh, I don’t think I experience that….” And then my brain drips drops of information to my conscious mind and I’m left looking at myself, mouth open, wide eyed in shock because that’s exactly what I’ve been experiencing. It’s incredibly soothing to finally understand what’s been happening. I’m realizing I’ve been in burnout for quite some time now. In fact, it’s the symptoms of burnout that drove me to, yet again, try and figure out what in the hecknbob is “wrong” with me. I truly feel like I’m meeting myself for the first time. Thank you so much for this video, Chris and Debby.
My experience since my discovery in May '23 is soooo much like yours that way.
Upon the first discovery there were a number of traits that I assumed weren't mine--"Yeah, I never do that."
And then the mille-feuille (1000-leafed) veil started falling away, one leaf at a time. A lifetime's experiences began trickling, at first, back to my consciousness, in a whole different light.
Pretty soon it was a tsunami of memories, experiences, impresssions, wounds and bewilderments flooding in on my consciousness demanding to be seen for what they really were. Almost like an exorcism! Certainly a catharsis.
All those unanswered questions in my life that I hadn't even quite realized WERE questions came clamoring for their moment in the spotlight, to be named and resolved. Like a nestful of robin chicks all chirping furiously for their feeding.
One of the things I was SURE I never did was stimming. Stimming I associated with the standard image of autism, the non-communicative boy who maybe sits in a corner rocking or walking around a room furiously flapping his hands. "No, DEFINITELY not me!", I thought. I'm sophisticated, polished, a public speaker, totally in control of myself....
And then the cracks emerged in the wall of my self-concept.
All my childhood habits, twitches, tics and sheer NEED to discharge the visceral "static" in some kind of physical impulse. The finger-twitching, the over-blinking, pacing and marker-twirling while teaching, and perhaps most tellingly of all, the inner buildup of a sick, nauseous tension, a trapped and suffocating feeling--kind of like dying, really--whenever forced to suppress all such "venting" (stimming) for protracted periods--like sitting at a committee or board meeting, or in church, or at a family gathering with everybody sitting around the table chatting.
Again and again the inner "madness,' the feeling like being a fly continously flying into a window in its attempt to get outside, or having that fly inside me. The desperate need for that release, that "vent," just builds up and you can't even remotely fathom how on EARTH everybody else sitting there can stand this. Because you're assuming everybody feels exactly what you do.
This is one of the miracles of an autism discovery: the dispelling of the double illusion that, 1) everybody else feels exactly the same, and, 2) you're crazy for writhing inwardly at what nobody else seems bothered by. That epiphany opens up a whole new world of options and approaches for self-care and self-advocacy that you could never have imagined before you either needed or had a right to.
You don't even need, necessarily, to go out there and start advertising "I'm autistic and these are my needs!" In many instances it's enough simply to say that this or that setting/situation is one you have a particular incapacity to cope with for long and therefore you will either avoid them or limit your exposure to them.
People don't need to know everything (certainly not all of them do!)--they just need to know where your boundaries are.
We don't owe the world total transparency on this matter any more than we do an any number of other matters we might choose to share only with our most intimate friends and loved ones. It's enough for the world at large to say, sometimes, "No, I don't do that." It has no intrinsic right to more than that.
@@kensears5099 I love this. So well articulated. That pervasive bewilderment that others around me seem totally unbothered by what is unbearable for me …. Ya. So often I find myself looking around and wondering if everyone else is truly an NPC and I’m the only one aware that I am in a video game and I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next while they say and do the same things over and over again, never thinking to do something different. The one phrase I would use throughout my life when trying to relate my inner distress to others has been, “I feel like everyone else got the manual first day of school and I was in the washroom and they forgot to give me my copy. Or like I’m always standing outside, looking in through the window and I want to enter the room, but I can’t find the door and no one see’s me standing there outside alone.”. But because neurotypical people have moments here and there of feeling lost or alone, they would say, “Ya, I’ve kinda felt like that before, too …” and so I would think, “Oh. Everyone feels this. I’m just not as strong as they are so it bothers me more ….”. Because all autistic experiences are human experiences, non autistic people hear your experiences and think, “well, ya …. That’s normal …. I feel that, too …” but they miss that the experience is far more intense for us and it’s not an occasional occurrence, it’s a constant. Especially when you’ve been someone who was able to mask really well for most of your life, you really are unseen, and the longer you mask, the more unseen you become even to yourself. I’m still in the process of coming to terms with this. I want to pursue a formal diagnosis but have a million mixed thoughts and feelings about it. I kinda feel similar that I don’t necessarily want to tell people about it because that label comes with a lot of images and beliefs in other people’s minds and it feels like it could just end up with yet another layer of a mask but this time one imposed on me from the outside. I’ve managed this long in my life. I know what I’m dealing with now. I can set up my own boundaries and perhaps just explain some things to the closest people in my life so there is more ability for me to take care of myself the way I need to.
@@kensears5099❤
❤
@@northwoodfalls1403 🙂❤
I was diagnosed as AuDHD at the age of 43. Six years after I experienced what would become irreversible burnout from decades of trying to adapt to neurotypical society and expectations... and failing. Because I didn't know I was autistic and blamed myself constantly for my inability to "get it" and be "normal". There quite literally became a point where I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't work anymore, and I became a recluse that lives in total isolation. It was only then that I began noticing my autism, because I was "allowed" to be my true self for the first time in my life. It was a very confusing time that led to an identity crisis, since I believed my "true" self was my masked identity, and the autism traits HAD to indicate I had a personality disorder. It was messed up. Anyway, burnout sucks. Especially if you don't know you're autistic and therefore don't know how to prevent it. But even though my burnout was extreme, it changed my life for the better. Because I know who I am now, and can be myself 24/7. The chaos is gone and now every day is predictable and routine. For the first time, I experience peace.
Hi if you don't mind sharing a "where are they now" about yourself...what do you do now that brings you peace, routine and predictability? I'm very happy for you. And thank you for sharing ❤
😂thank you for pointing out that the subtle shift from “people are a challenge” to “humans are awful creatures” is actually Just burnout!
As an autistic who suffered years of trauma and years of burnout throughout my life, I realized that my brain was in a constant state of hypervigilence. I was too hyper aware of everything to the point that certain areas of my brain had shut down, resulting in a 180° personality change. I developed severe agoraphobia for five years and shut myself in. I am barely coming out six consecutive years of burnout. It was the longest burnout of my life, but I grew up in survival mode and had periods of burnout.
This last burnout had gotten so bad that I still struggle to tolerate going out into public, eating, keeping up with my talents (art, playing piano, etc), doing things I had always enjoyed, taking care of myself, and doing simple errands. I had more intense meltdowns more often; even the slightest inconvenience or stimuli could throw me into a meltdown. The meltdowns would take days to recover from. I began stimming much more for the last six years, and my autism hindrances had gotten worse.
It went from utter despair to rage and apathy after the areas of my brain had eventually shut down. I began to dissociate for longer periods of time, sometimes losing hours.
I still cannot hold any conversation with a person in real life, and have no desire left to. It sometimes takes me weeks to reply to messages on fb. That takes even more effort than usual as I used to be very articulate. For the last *several years, I began having problems with writing messages. It now takes me even longer to process things, longer to process what I want to say, and I now struggle with writing when I was always better at writing than verbal communication.
I still struggle, but I am really trying to start doing simple things to work my way back out of burnout. Whenever I start getting myself doing things that I enjoy, something happens and knocks me right back out of it. It is not easy.
Me too. Keep reading, watching the vids, feeling the pain that washes up. Decades of repressed trauma doesn't resolve quickly. Get out in nature. One day at a time.
Recently diagnosed, in my early 50’s. I’m so overwhelmed. Thank you for this channel.
Right there with you. 55, diagnosed last year, AuDHD … I’m frickin’ exhausted but all high masking and “gifted” so mostly seen as just lazy, entitled, and annoying.
I was diagnosed this year at 48
Yes... Will be 50 this year and just learned this about myself last month... Thanks in part to, you guessed it, burn out! I'm overwhelmed, to say the least.
Thanks so much for making a video that was uncomfortable to make. My eyes just slowly started to water and then I just cried. I feel so alone in feeling exactly like what you describe. I think only the people here can understand these tears of connection, tears of community, the peace of not being the only one.
Late diagnosed autistic woman here, can relate. General tip for people, especially women: if you suspect you also have physical issues, investigate & push for diagnosis. I turned out to also have arthritis and food intolerances, but took decades to get diagnosed because I was constantly so unwell & dissociated & blocked out the pain & discomfort, so it was hard to specifically identify.
I’ve been in Autistic burnout at least a couple of times during my 32 years without knowing I was Autistic until getting diagnosed this month. The burnouts have taken a huge toll on me. It doesn’t make it easier that I have demand avoidance.
One of the things I've gotten from my doctors is "You're isolating, you need to get out more" when I know in my brain and body, I need to be out less and away from people to try to get a grip on myself. I still haven't been assessed, that's next month. The more I research, the more I'm leaning towards that this is more of an answer than depression & anxiety. I also have PTSD and autoimmune disease that love to feed off each other like a huge trash fire.
Whoa. That was interesting about the burnout vs non-burnout perspective on humanity, I'm more on the burnout end of things right now if that's what's going on with me. I have a cardiac stress test and dentist appointments coming up (who doesn't love going to the dentist when even someone saying hello makes me want to run and hide?). I'm wondering how I'm going to make it through those appointments even though I know I need to do them. Weekly physical therapy appointments and support groups are good for me, if I can handle getting to them without wanting to hide any time I'm not at them. Scheduling is a huge part of trying to manage what I call "breakdowns" for now. Needing to space out the stressful appointments while getting in the self care appointments is a delicate balancing act!
Thank you for this video, even if it turns out I don't have autism/ADHD, there's some really good tips in here for dealing with chronic pain and depression/anxiety 😊
12:01 THIS IS SO TRUE. It is when I really can feel my autism as a disability rather than as a difference.
100%. ABSOLUTELY
TRUTH!
Or is our current society doing it wrong, and in fact embracing our own rhythms are a perfectly reasonable solution. We aren’t actually robots! 😂❤
@@RodeoDogLover fair point!
Rumination feels literally at warp speed, hyper drive, light speed
As a person who gets a period...man, autistic burnout and my cycle genuinely nearly ended me. I quit two jobs it was so bad. Quitting my job stopped the intensity. Unfortunately, I'm still jobless and in burnout but somehow even the stress of THAT doesn't exacerbate my period anxiety and depression like holding a job did.
I hear this. I am surviving with 2 part time jobs and my artistic side is almost nonexistent.
Same for me, PMDD. IUD helps suppress some of it but not all. I have to set reminders on my calendar to remind myself why I’m so sad and upset.
Oh, yes. I feel you. I get the worst migraines when it’s that time, and they last for a week. For a week a month I’m useless and feel like a failure and having 5 kids just drains every drop of energy I already don’t have. It’s comforting to know there are others that understand
THIS! I always say I can only work a job that lets me off during my period because autism gets unbearable during that time
@@SharkyJ40hormones are a huge part it was due to COVID lockdown and being perimenopausal that I got my dual diagnosis at age 42
I really appreciate other autistic people sharing their experiences of burnout. I forget that burnout is a thing, and to be gentle with myself because of it, even though when I zoom out and look at my life I've mostly been operating it a burnout state for the last 10+ years. Also, in regard to pain I experience the worst of it in and around my stomach, and it started when I was so young that my muscles tightening around it actually deformed my ribcage on the left side! Which equals more pain! Wheeeeee! Shout out to not being diagnosed and having to deal with the schooling system for kicking it off 👌🏼 Thanks for sharing Chris, I hope your day brings you peace and calm 🧡 P.s. I had planned to say other things but my brain broke when I started trying to make words leave it
Autistic burnout is such a thing and people need to seek out people to help them, especially if they are late diagnosed and to help learn the early signs (for me it's noise!)
There are ways to improve it and to work on it and places you can go to prevent it before it gets to the stages that have gone far.
But thank you for doing this video because it is so so important to keep talking about
I am currently burnt out so bad I feel hungover all the time...
Edit: omg Im at the first one - exhaustion - and for years Ive been saying "I dont struggle with emotional depression anymore, but I still have a lot of physical symptoms."
And now I just got to #2 and um... yeah... woof...
This was extremely helpful. I am going to delve further into this.
Wow, it is so validating to hear all of this from someone else. Thank you for sharing your perspective and for giving others the terminology for what we also experience. Great video.
The skill regression is super hard. This made me understand and lessens the the emotional angst about it
"that pisses me off" so real... I miss the things I used to do :-(
You will be able to go back and pick certain selective things up again in time when you are physically and mentally ready to do so, don’t rush it though your body will know when the time is right even if you don’t. Learn to get in touch with it and listen to it in time you will understand what it has to say and this can help you learn to live a life that is more in tune with your needs
I'm sure after a lifetime of achievement peaks and burnout troughs, that the high expectations that my parents had for me transferred to being high expectations I had for myself. The pressure of those brought guilt when I was feeling exhausted but not achieving, so I didn't know how to stop. My body did it for me in the end and that was incredibly dangerous.
I love your videos so much! It's incredible how you are able to describe exactly my experiences from the few videos I have watched so far. It feels so good to hear! I've watched so many other videos from people on the spectrum over the past year and they are all great, but yours just hits me differently. I'm 40 and in the process of going through evaluations. The first one I had a year ago was a complete flop, and left me feeling rather hopeless. It's so important that those evaluating know what they are doing!!! I'm so excited these days finally, I still have crazy burnout but now I'm not so upset about it. Your channel is great!
Ironically, I'm watching this now because my wife told me, "you're not functioning, you need to go lie down". She was right; when I stopped I could feel the all-over pain I'd been blocking out. And someone's mowing their lawn, which is really distracting. I'm not in burnout, but I think the end of term rush at work has brought me pretty close...
Wow. I just came across your channel last night and it's been super ... validating ...
I've been diagnosed severe ADHD, but my day to day experience doesn't match up with just ADHD.
Especially right now where I've been experiencing my highest level of burnout I can recall, and it's been horrible. This video describes everything. When you mentioned how burnout can be confused with depression or present similar to depression, that resonated because I act depressed right now, but I don't feel depressed.
All of this is really hitting close to home. I'm glad I found it.
I've spent the last two years feeling like there's a gun to the head. This is very familiar to me.
True
That's a good way to put it
I'm in year 7 but I didn't know what was going on until year 6. Thanks for talking about this; helps to know others go through it too.
Un answered phones and constant text notifications. Save me Please from alarm clocks I have literally thrown them into walls. Including phones. The beep of seat belt warnings or my car tells me when I am out of my lane when I am not!
I freeze. Can't eat, sleep, or function. Zero executive function. I just sit and pick at my nails, cuticles or feel itchy Everywhere. Don't eat or dress for days. Just sit, quietly in the dark. My kids thought I was the energizer bunny with dead batteries. Don't do anything i love anymore. Used to dance, play violin, rock hounding, lapidary and make jewelry, and garden. Just can't. For years i have told people that i have all these masks for different things and had nightmares that i was alone and took the mask off and underneath was nothing.
I am 66 and undiagnosed. I Have been diagnosed with "Atypical ADHD", CPTSD and chronic depression.
Recently with Parkinsons.
I relate so much
You might look into Selegiline. I believe it's originally a Parkinson's drug but used off topic for ADHD, though I might have read about it a long time ago on the cptsd subreddit (so much overlap with ADHD and depression.)
It helps the brain hold on to dopamine. Though if you have heart problems in your family I think it's a skip because of possibly increasing blood pressure.
It will pass and you will find joy in your hobbies again in time when you reenergise
Thank You
Also, its so so exhausting and flat out distressing that whole issue of ruminating over past memories. So so SO MANY rabdom, often totally benign memories, but they come back again and again and again causing more and nore distress.
And 100% in the isolation thing man. Just yo get away from the stimulus, especially people. People can be the absolute worst. 😂
Omg I feel this. The thoughts will be ruthless and unrelenting it’s so awful
Therapy can help with that but you’ve got to find the right professionals to help have you considered maybe searching for an nd psychologist to talk to
I'm 53, I was diagnosed with Autism last year. Didn't know of burnout before, but it feels like I've been in it for a few years. The loss of skills and the difficulty of learning new ones, constantly tired (physically, emotionally, cognitively), itchyness, brain fog/numbness seem likee they've been eith me for +/-10 years.
I've been unemployed for about 6years (did Uber for 4 of them) and job hunting has been sporadic. My biggest hurdle is that I've felt scared I won't be able to pick up the skills for a new job.
Like with meltdowns, knowing what I'm experiencing helps me to process it.
Thank you so much for this video.
I am 77 and only 2 weeks into my self-diagnosis. I'm still overwhelmed with the concept that this answers a whole hell of a lot of questions I've had throughout my life. I have made an appointment with a clinician to find someone with expertise who can help me. It's a couple weeks away and on the same day that I am having a brain MRI to determine whether or not I have a tumor based on my last MRI 3 months ago. Don't need all this right now but don't feel like I'm in burnout. Haven't figured out yet how to get my family involved (and even believing me). One day at a time, I guess. Right now I'm excited that there is a real reason I am how I am. Blessings to you and Debby and all others going through this. The cup is still half full.
Not my business but I'm going to suggest that you take care of yourself first, and investigate your diagnosis and put the pieces of your own puzzle together before you try to include family. My experience family will deny you. But then I had a very toxic family. Even my own therapists scoffed immediately and said I couldn't possibly be ASD. Yet it's the only thing that everything fits into. With awareness comes consecutive ah hahs, both been looking at my husband and certain members of my family. I first started looking into autism to explain my husband's absolute weirdness and control freak tendencies, and inability to feel his emotions or explain his actions. The more we figured him out the more I saw some of the same things in me though different varieties and flavors of it. I have CPTSD and he doesn't. People with CPTSD were often abused because they are autistic. The degree of crossover is tragic. So some of what looks like autism is actually CPTSD. But something like 40% of people with CPTSD are ASD. I wish you all the best in your journey!
@@roughroadstudio You're right. I self diagnosed about a year ago. I live in a country where I will probably never be diagnosed. But I told a couple of close people, and their response was, "You're not autistic." I can't really deal with hearing that again. I am so certain I am. It explains my entire life. I am in total burnout right now. I can hardly drag myself out of the house. Nature is my only option, but it's too hot here right now, so I'm home except for the need to go to the grocery store.
@@northofyou33 When I can't get outside I try to watch some documentary on UA-cam or TV that is specifically about natural environments.
Diagnosis is life changing it explains so much and is such a relief
My last big burnout, I was actually able to find my current therapist who has been helping me with strategies on how not to go that far down the rabbit hole. Luckily with my therapists help, the more recent burnouts have been shorter but still suck. Usually when I hit, I become a massive introvert as I see social interactions as the key trigger and talking to people just becomes painful. I standardly use gaming as my "happy place" and even I lack the desire to do that during burnout.
The thing that helps me the most is making a little to-do-list per day with a max of 3 tasks, and remake it every day, forgetting the day before. The crossing off of completed tasks gives that little boost necessary to want to do things again, the forgetting moderates the ruminating.
What's important is that the threshold of the task has to be as low as you can handle, so in the difficult times, when it's even impossible to your favourite things, it could be as simple as "have a day" or "write your thoughts down"
And slowly day by day you'll notice that you want to do things again, energy returns and the list can get longer 😊
I feel like I am currently experiencing both autistic burnout and a midlife crisis at the same time. Once again, I am unemployed. I can hardly stand filling out job applications because they are so tedious and because all the jobs I apply to are terrible and most of them don't pay much. I feel like I can't continue doing these terrible low-wage jobs anymore! I'm 42 years old and I have a bachelor's degree. Why am I doing or applying to jobs that teenage high school dropouts can do? But, because all I have ever done is a LONG string of shitty, low-wage jobs in retail, fast food, Disney, Walmart, and Amazon that my resume looks embarrassing. I rarely work anywhere longer than 1 year and the longest I have ever worked anywhere is 2 years. I'm beginning to feel like I am unemployable at this point. No one wants to hire me and I don't want to work for anyone! But, I don't want to be homeless, either. So, what can I do? My family isn't going to support me much longer and the government won't help much, either. I thought about trying to teach myself some new skills that would actually be in demand, but I ended up disliking them (namely data analytics and coding). So, now, My hope is to become a successful UA-camr and singer-songwriter. It will be rather difficult doing both of those things completely solo while also trying to find a "real" job, but I've accomplished extraordinary things before, so I'm confident I'll succeed eventually. It helps that I'm enjoying making UA-cam and music so far and that my channel has steadily grown since I first started uploading last year. An independent UA-camr/musician is the only career I can think of that would suit my personality and skills.
Hey bud hope you hang in there and get through it!
I think it’s awesome that you’ve got a plan to execute that speaks to your passion.
Only advice I would give based on experience: Go with the "Brick by brick" approach, and not the "All in" approach.
There’s a lot of random ridiculous influencers that caught a lucky windfall that’s say dumb stuff like "don’t have a plan b"… All bs.
It takes time to build things, but it’s possible with patience, evolving strategy, and focus.
Take care and good luck!
Best of luck in similar situation financially similar age we were the forgotten generation
@@Dancestar1981 Thank you! My little brother less than 2 years younger than me and is extremely successful financially and with life in general. It's not a "generation" thing at all. I'm still struggling with finding a job, but after focusing on applying to management positions, I've been getting a lot more interviews.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable s0urce here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, blizmyco. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. blizmyco
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
Feel hugged, really honestly and deeply hugged. With enough pressure to feel the weight and not too much. The type of hug that gives you the feeling of understanding and you're are not alone, but without the presence of another human being. The type of hug that is precisely timed, where you don't have to think about when to stop and how to act, but that just magically last exactly how long it has to be. Just be understood. I didn't had this feeling in a long time, but today I had it. Thanks to you. I Thank you. I thank you so much
That opening bit, absolutely describes how I’ve felt for about 5 years now.
my healing wishes go out to all of us in burnout. excellent job explaining what it feels like
"You can and will get through it." That was my driving principle, my willpower's war cry, a cry sometimes inwardly repeated on a constant loop, during life's "Twilight Zone" episodes when nothing made sense except for (borrowing from some more 60s television) the Prime Directive to: Just. Keep. Going. No. Matter. What.
When nothing else in the phantasmagoric world of kaleidoscopically assailing input provides a hook to hang on for a cognitive reconnoiter, in the midst of genuine catastrophes and chaos going on for months without let-up (like for instance the Russian invasion of Ukraine, which bore immediately on my life), all I could do was maintain the mantra: "Keep going no matter what, one foot in front of the other, don't think it through, just do, do, do."
This was all before I made my autism discovery. That discovery not only made infinite sense of a whole lifetime but astounding sense of why I lost 30 pounds in three months during the crisis of 2022. I was, essentially, the way a singer with a bad cold tries to sing over the cold to get through a concert, I was by sheer willpower propelling myself to keep going over burnout, push through meltdown, scramble by hook or by crook through the sensory overload and the short-circuited masking.
Which led to a kind of PTSD that took well over a year to subside. I couldn't even manage a conversation about the previous year's events without breaking down.
And then I discovered my autism. And it all made sense.
Now "You can and will get through it" is a friendly mantra, not the savage taskmaster of a mantra it used to be. Before it meant "You'll get through this even if it kills you." Now it means, "This doesn't have to kill you. You have choices and methods to regulate this."
Love the final line you included: "This doesn't have to kill you. You have choices and methods to regulate this." Anyone who is connected to autistic burnout through experiencing it themselves or watching someone they care about experience it always needs to know this. It's hard to realize how much you can work to control until you understand even small changes can make a big difference. You can't continue doing things the same way and expect it to get better - you really have to be the master of your own life.
Thanks for sharing this, Ken. Glad we have you here! Always enjoy reading your comments - very insightful and helpful.
@@ChrisandDebby 🙂
Yes. This. So many times, I have experienced burnout. Remembering what I used to accomplish and now can’t, is extremely frustrating. I am currently experiencing burnout from a job that I loved, but was in an environment that was a complete miss match to my needs. By the last few months of that job, I couldn’t do anything in my off hours. I just crashed. At the job, I felt like I needed to crawl out of my skin. I felt so overwhelmed by too much noise and too many people. We were also in the midst of a move to a different city, with two of our kids. They are teens, so they were wonderfully helpful. Thank goodness. I was so excited for a new start, in our new city, but now realize that I need the time to recover from years of burnout, before I can get involved in anything. I just want to isolate myself and do nothing. But then that’s at odds with all the things I want to accomplish, but I’m just too tired…
Thank you for this. It helped me recognize I wasn’t just stressed and depressed right now. I’m entering burnout. I’m going to try to accommodate myself better. Your recommendation about noticing which stimuli are the most troublesome was especially helpful, as obvious as it may be to others, as I have just been powering through and thinking “I should be able to handle this. I could before!”
I couldn't remember how to make a bed. Make a bed. How do you forget that? That's the burnout symptom that's bothered me the most. Thank you friend for making this video. I might go get a diagnosis so I can ADA some time off when I can't figure out how to do my job. That I've been doing for years, it's so frustrating. And everything makes me cry. And I hurt everywhere but aspirin won't touch the pain.
Since I'm high masking and able to, I pretend to do another job when I'm like that and I can, but my performance isn't what it used to be since I don't know when. Since my last major traumatic event started, and even though it's no longer ongoing, my husband passed away at the end, so I just haven't been myself, and knowing that I'm part of this community and knowing I'm not the only one facing these challenges helps so much.
Also I freaking overshare all the danged time. Not deleting it this time. Thank you again.
Edit: Working from home helps with some of this and we feed the birds so I can hear them all day. I also set alarms on my phone for meds.
Making beds is overrated, seriously. That's the most self-defeating thing you can do. Sure, it feels like you did something, but there are other things that need to be done before this one ...
And if you forgot about it, that's because your brain knows that too. Whoever instilled into you making the bed is simple and necessary is less smart than the produce of thousands of year of evolution. Clearly.
this is exactly what's happening to me right now and i feel frustrated and ashamed because i can't push myself to do the things i used to do more easily before, it feels like my brain is deteriorating or something and it physically hurts
thank you so much for telling us we'll get through it, made me tear up and feel more hopeful
Thank you so much for this video. I was going through a horrible phase in my life and after watching this it made realize that I AM going through a autistic burnout. And this changes everything putting a name on it, not only helps me understand what is going on with me, but it will also help me navigating my way out through this crisis. I am in shambles and I had no idea how I was going to put my pieces together... now I know... thank you...
I cannot thank you enough for telling me about this
I’ve been extremely chronically tired for half a year now; I haven’t seen my friends, failed all my classes, couldn’t do anything. I always thought it was depression and my p.o.t.s. but this seems to be the main problem. I haven’t been able to leave the house out of fear of embarrassment due to me not being able to mask anymore. Every sound I hear is extremely painful, and I now have to wear headphones, even though I’ve never needed to.
I’ve been trying all the treatments for depression, but it’s been making me feel worse. Hopefully I can now work towards actually useful treatments.
One of the hardest times for me was when I was experiencing significant burnout during a change in seasons. Nature had been my safe place the previous month or two (it was early spring, at the time) during that instance of burnout. I would go out to a place I had discovered that was just perfect for me. I loved it.
But then one day when I went out to my spot I just... Hated it. Well, I didn't think that at first, probably, but I knew I wasn't enjoying it like I had been. But I stayed out there thinking maybe I just needed to give myself some time and I'd settle into that cozy feeling. Nope, the discomfort only got worse.
Then I think I started to realize what was different... Everything had come alive. The underbrush was growing back, leaves were on the trees again, and the bugs... I could feel and hear the bugs *everywhere*. There was no escaping them, nor the cluttered and choking feeling of all the wild growth of the plants that were now so much louder in the wind than I was used to. And the temperature too... Everything was getting warm and sticky.
What had once been a safe haven had quickly turned into my own personal hell. I'm extremely sensitive to visual clutter, even "moderate" heat/humidity, and the mere presence of bugs (even if I can't hear or feel them) is incredibly "loud" to me. Little critters that are omnipresent, everywhere, and it's like I'm painfully aware of all of them all at once (esp if I'm sitting down outside). I'm not especially phobic of insects I think, btw. Not any more than most people. I think it's just the "volume" of the sensory input from them, just knowing they're there.
Anyway, just throwing that out there in case anybody else needed to hear that nature isn't always a healing balm for us autistics and that they're not alone in feeling that way. :)
thank you, sometimes what I really need is a comfortable nook in the closet I can shut myself in for a while.
Sounds like me- everything becomes so overwhelming. The sensation of bugs, dealing with moist and itchy skin, overheating and the cloying oppressive feel of humidity. Fuzzy hair brushing against my face and getting itchy w different fabrics in hot sweaty weather. Sun sensitivity. Need more? It’s like I need 68-75 degrees, dry, sun and some clouds breeze.
Yes! In spring I need to get outside, because I have been cooped up all winter, I need sun! And at some point it is less fun, there is just too much, too much wind through the leaves, too much dust, too much heat. And too much people who also decided to go outside.
It doesn't help that it is my own garden and by that time I have started way too many projects there and are completely overwhelmed. Sometimes good things need a break too, to stay good.
The more burnt out you are the more sensory sensitivities you will experience and the lower your threshold for challenge will be. This means your reactions are more likely to be volatile too. Self care is extremely important adequate rest, a sensible diet, leisure time enjoyable hobbies and lots of support from family are vital
@@mothdust1634I get that a nice quiet space to decompress and switch off from the world I schedule in a couple of days every week for that very purpose I call it my missing in action days where I just breathe and am not accountable to anyone but myself I also disconnect from phones etc during that time
This video means a lot to me. I have experienced autistic burnout during many months every year for almost 10 years now, but I only recently got my diagnosis. I am doing better at listening to myself than ever before, and these videos are an important part of me moving towards self acceptance and self care. Thanks!!!
I need a channel about the experience of pregnancy for Autistic women. Like, how you have zero boundaries, zero personal rights, and how your body is repeatedly violated with zero concern because now you are only a bag that carries a potential new life. And that potential new life is actually all they consider. Your body is in the way, and your personal wishes hinder their access, making you the enemy. You would think they are helping you to do the best for your baby, but they're really protecting the baby from YOU.
Like, you want to talk about sensory overload and burnout, get pregnant. It's about the worst thing you can go through with ASD.
What helps me is nature, slow living and complete emotional honesty towards all my relationships without overexplaining or hiding anything. ❤
Great advice thank you
Yes it helps ground and calm you and when you are physically up to it gentle exercise is great too even if it’s just a walk or yoga and meditation to help you breathe properly from the diaphragm
@@Dancestar1981 Thank you for adding this - I love gentle exercise.
I watched you for a while but I watched this and just kept snaking my hand over my mouth gobsmacked because you explained every single thing I do and I’ve not been able to express or explain or understand myself. I’m undiagnosed.
constantly fighting over stimulation, constantly fighting to be "normal" is wearing. i get exhausted sometimes migraines. i do deal with heat and fatigue at times, a good day i don't
I feel this to my core. Currently in burnout and it’s been going on for over a year. I too dont understand how things got so hard. I remember being a badass when I was younger. Now I struggle to function on a daily basis.
It will get better in time hang in there
This is one of the most helpful things for me EVER. I was treated for major depression for so long and didn't know why nothing helped. I finally learned (a few years ago) that was on the spectrum, but I don't have people around that understand or know anything about it. And, I think I watched this at the right time to try to slow or prevent burnout that I wasn't aware was coming, or at least be kinder to myself if it happens. New subscriber. Thank you so much for your videos!
I’m really happy this video helped!! 😊😊
You just described my entire experience for the last few years leading me to be diagnosed autistic. Trying to prevent homelessness in my 40s now ugh
I've been struggling with this for what feels like my entire life at this point and I've never really been sure how to describe what I was feeling. This was like finding the Rosetta Stone for my fucked up brain. Thank you so much for your efforts 😊
It isn’t messed up it’s just different
This is such a great description of burnout. One of the hardest things is that other people don’t understand how horrible it feels and how painful it is and often dismiss our experiences.
It was the worst burnout of my life that led to my AuADHD dx and there was almost no information about burnout available to help me try and get out of it, I’m only just clawing my way out two years later so I’m glad you’re making people more aware of it in such a detailed way. Thank you! 🙏
One silver lining of the whole uncomfortable experience then is that you finally got a diagnosis
I'm so happy to be finding others who know what this feels like. Thank you for being brave and making this video while not feeling well. You've helped a lot of people 🌻
This was such a clear, concise, validating description of autistic burnout and my experience of it. Diagnosed with treatment-resistant major depression at 35 and autism at the age of 48, I’ve been waxing & waning in burnout for the last 7 years at least. It’s so hard to tease apart the depression from the burnout and how each impacts the other. This is the first time your videos have popped up on my recommended and I’m so glad it did. Thanks a bunch.
Watching this. Learning this ... I realised that these last 4 years of my physical health declining and me ending in a wheelchair with barely any function left in my hands (My muscles fatigue extremely fast) might not be due to the rare physical illnesses I have after all. Those things that couldn't be explained and made no sense ... now it does ... Thank you for doing what you do. You are making such a huge difference in the lives of so many.
Thank you....this makes so much sense. Autistic burnout led to me taking early retirement at 60....then got my Autistic diagnosis at 62. I try to take better care of myself now, but it still happens of course.
Thank you Chris! I'm also late diagnosed in my 40s. I was hesitant to dive into this topic, because I knew facing my own burnout and coming to terms with it had the potential to be very unpleasant. Hearing you talk about it, its causes, symptoms, and what I can do to help... Well it all was so relieving that by the end of the video my eyes were uh... leaking fluid. Thanks man. Thanks for doing what you do.
This made me feel so seen 😭❤ I’m going to share this video with my family to help them understand where I’m at right now. Ive been in burnout for two years and I’ve had well-meaning people tell me that I need to push myself more… I honestly do the best I can. I understand that they can’t see how hard my brain and body are working just to get the basics done. I’ve made a lot of progress, and I’m trying to be patient. I’m looking forward to no longer feeling trapped in my own body.
I'm experiencing almost everything you've described, and cried through this video because it was such a relief to have someone describe it when I can't, and who understands it. Thank you for making this.
Kudos to you Chris for making this video while deep in burnout, I was thinking throughout how much effort this must have taken! Thank you so much for giving such a thorough and easily accessible description, I didn't realise autistic burnout was such an understudied phenomenon
As a person with adhd, not autism, I go through this as well. The biggest symotoms for me is the pain (like a chronic fatigue), the rumination, and needing to be left alone - but actually doing worse when I'm alone...
Same here!!! Going back on vyvanse helped me a bit. Unfortunately I get used to it wuickly and it stops working.
Me too, I actually got diagnosed with ADHD because I was experiencing burnout, but didn’t recover from it the way that I should have
i am the same… Having watched this, i am suspicious I have Autism on top. Online test thinks so. Might explain why meds just don’t seem to help. Like a battle between ASD and the ADHD, until they get in sync again. 🤷♂️
@@visionvixxenthat means your dose needs adjusting as your body acclimates to it over time
@@wobbygongferg5630have you tried caffeine it works for me that’s how I treat mine
Man the mental pain you describe was real for me. I thought it was just depression back then (so did my therapists) but it was when I was in school so I would still force myself to meet the bare minimum requirements of my responsibilities (the structure helped). I was still chronically exhausted and because I was masking heavily god my brain felt like it was constantly on fire. I got to college and stopped trying so hard to do things for other people’s validation and just tried to get through school so the brain pain slowly went away. Still chronic fatigue and moving out led me to discover I couldn’t take care of myself but I was out of that mental pit. Now that I’ve graduated and have an autism diagnosis I’m slowly pulling myself out of burnout. I guess it’s been close to 8 years of varying levels of burnout for me and I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah school was a total nightmare for me. Didn't help that at home I didn't have peace. Family felt fine barging into my room when I was most upset to disturb my peace on purpose or to yell at me to knock it off. Even though I have a hard time taking care of myself and my own needs moving out has actually been a huge help. Thank god for AI and the internet. It's my own assistant.
I seriously got up and left this video probably 20-30 times because it hit home so hard. But it was also one of the best explanations I have ever heard, so I really appreciate the vocabulary to advocate for myself. Thank you Chris!! 💛✨
Commenting feels hard because I'm in a bit of burnout myself, but you could have been talking about me with. Every. Word. These are some great tips. I always forget to accommodate myself 🙄
I can not believe how accurately you have documented me! I have been on antidepressants for over 30 years (female). I am in burnout now but I have so many jobs (upholstery) to do but I can't do them. I have never been able to articulate how I feel or understand what is happening. Recently I have learnt that I just have to wait until it passes but that is so frustrating. I am waiting for an appointment for a diagnosis for both ADHD and Autism. Thanks so much for making these videos
holy shy, hitting the chandelier while getting too excited and happy only to be hit with the OW OH NO feeling is just too freakin relatable lol
Wow…. Wow. This describes so much of my experience… my pain ends up being emotional, leading to actual pain in my heart. No one knows what I am going through and I don’t like worrying people so I completely isolate but lately it gets scary . I just came out of talking to almost no one except for my mum for 6 weeks straight. Avoiding all eye contact with everyone. Wow.. I’m mind blown by this video
This is the perfect description of my experience. May as well have been me talking. Made me cry and cry. Thank you.
Sometimes that’s exactly what we need a damn good cry
@@Dancestar1981 Absolutely true, thank you 🫂❤️
nothing has ever captured how I felt more concisely than this. Thank you. I feel seen in a time where I can't function in society or find my needs met.
Good timing. I’m working on a meme for this. I liken it to when my computer all of a sudden goes into auto maintenance scan mode, right during a zoom meeting. No matter how much I click the mouse, it’s unresponsive.
Thank you for sharing this. I just completed my assessment, confirming what I suspected: adult ASD with ADHD. What you described here is extremely similar to what I've been experiencing. I haven't figured out where my people are, locally, so it's all pretty isolating.
The real challenge is the way I'm just not performing at my job. The team is growing rapidly, and I feel like the culture is taking off in a direction I can't keep up with. I work for a manager with ADHD who no longer wants to have discourse with me on balancing neurodivergent needs with delivering at the breakneck pace being expected.
I need to start learning what my tools are to establish healthy expectations and boundaries. That's the current crisis/challenge. But your video helped me feel like I am not alone (even if I really am at the moment), that there are others very much like myself, and that ya'll are figuring it out. Making it work. And maybe I can get there, too.
Thanks, Chris. Keeping doing :waves around wildly: all of this.
I use sudoku puzzles to gage my current cognitive function level.
Oh, how does that work? Do you time yourself?
@@mothdust1634once you get an idea of your “skill level” then you can see how hard they seem, relatively. For example, when I’m running on empty, the “hard” level is too much to complete. But when my brain is functioning well I want to be on the “very hard” level because it’s more challenging. You have to play for a while and pay attention to how easy (or hard) it seems on any given day.
@@RodeoDogLoverI do this too! This way I can check if my brain works well, and what to expect from myself today, and to check if I need rest!
I used to play sudoku all the time and i never realized this was such a factor for me until seeing this...now i know why sometimes i could blow through them on medium and hard and other days i struggled on easy puzzles 😢
Love sudoku
This was what I needed today, Chris. I believe I’ve been in burnout for quite some time now, as I’m constantly stuck in the suicidal realm. It frustrates me to no end because as you said, I have no idea what I need to ask for, for help. Thanks for sharing and thanks for being here
I am just in the process of getting an autism diagnosis and all these things are new to me but I have realised I have been in burnout for over a year. It is such a relief to know what it is, I was starting to worry I had alzheimers as I lost so many of my skills and energy levels. The burnout came on while dealing with my wonderful dad getting cancer and then watching him lose the battle, it was the most hideous emotional, physical pain for him and for us supporting him. Sadly he passed away a year ago and before he did I was already having days off work because I literally could not get out if bed. My job seems 10 times harder than it was before, I struggle with communication and people really don't understand.😫I am so grateful I now know and am treating myself kindly, I have pulled back on everything I was doing (including seeing friends and helping out at church) I am slowly getting there but definitely have relapses!! Thank you for sharing all this info Chris, much appreciated.🙏👍🙂
Traumatic events will definitely trigger burnout you can be awesome in the moment of crisis and step up when needed but it drains you once the adrenaline wears off. I understand perfectly I have dual diagnosis ASD and combined ADHD and was recently caring for my mum who had a serious health scare and was unwell for several months. She’s much improved now.
@@Dancestar1981 I am glad to hear she has improved. 👍😊
Wow, this really hit me! I have felt like this, especially lately. I’m not diagnosed with ADHD or autism, but I do have many of the symptoms so I appreciate this content!
I’ve been on a slow (or fast?) descent into burnout since about 2018, which has been compounded/prolonged by a lot of trauma. I have only recently begun to understand (through my own autistic child) that I have been “high masking” for many years. I have sought out help from psychologists to better understand my condition after years of misdiagnosis and medications, but I look forward to the day I can re-engage with life back in ways I used to, how I remember before years of trying to conform and fit in eroded away at my very being. But I have hope, I’ve already reached my rock bottom and I know what I’m dealing with in my body, no matter what others may have told me years prior. And I look forward to the day I can reengage with life and special interests in a way similar to how I remember I used to because I know how much I am capable of when not in a state of burnout. And I believe that time is closer than I think, just around the corner! So for today, I rest and relax as much as possible and try not to beat myself up anymore for years of not feeling good enough to “cut it” in a neurotypical world. Thanks for the effort you put in to make this video and for helping others feel validated and less alone, even when sometimes, I prefer to be! 💜
Such an important subject, thanks for making this video ❤. A year ago I was hit by major burnout, and was on sick-leave for months. I went to a stress-coach, saw a psychiatrist and got diagnosed (adhd and autism), and changed my job to working part time in a less demanding position. I actually like my life and my work, yet I can't go more than a few days into each week before feeling a terrible sense of overwhelm, exhaustion and wishing I could just freeze time. It's become somewhat better as I learn about why this build-up happens, but I really hope I can actually get to a point where I don't feel it at all, or at least less often. Wearing noise-filtering earplugs, sunglasses, and using fidget toys helps, but my job requires quite a lot of masking, so I may need to switch again, perhaps to something where I work from home and mainly talk to clients via phone, to cut down on eye contact and masking.
I needed to pause your video several times because I started crying again and again. I feel so much of what you've been saying. And now I also feel so much validation for the things I've been experiencing. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart
I feel very called out