*It’s crazy how building a genuine connection can flip the attraction switch so effortlessly. Do you think rapport is more important than physical attraction in the long run?*
I don't know y I always run away from my social life. Sometimes I don't know what I will take frm me to just talk or chat with someone on WhatsApp or fb. if I start, along the lines I will jxt evade. Its not jxt random folks even the ppl I love, my friends and my fellow comrade's in school, I find it very difficult to communicate with them through social media too. Honestly, I don't know how my friend shedy does it even though shedy is an introvert like me. people often tell me that y do I like leaving the're messages unread. that was always my habit. when I truly felt the pain was when the girl I loved back in high school dumped me because I wasn't replying to her texts and I always ghosted her. Any time I think about all this I jxt wish I never existed.
Sorry to hear that you're struggling so much there - it sounds like a situation where you really should actively find some help and support to get you out of your hole... Having extreme forms of social anxiety/avoidance make life so much more difficult.
I learned about this "tactics" from you, in an old video . And it never worked for me, honestly - in fact, it's really painful for me to listen to your roleplay, because "your" sentences sound really like what I'm doing, but "her" sentences are not like it at all. She either just vents, disregarding my input and attempts to relate to her, or - much more likely - she just uses one-word answers despite me trying to relate, "answer my own questions" and all of the stuff I learned from your videos. This case is really typical in my texting - 99% of the time it feels like I'm doing all work, and she doesn't want to establish any rapport. Would it be reasonable to conclude that this "rapport" stuff is a "win more" button - if she is already attracted enough to you, then it will help you a lot, but if her attraction is under the threshold, then it is almost useless, and I need to focus on getting over the threshold (in general or with specific woman) first?
So I sort of have have two parts to my answer 1) It's very hard to know exactly what's going wrong if I don't see/hear the interaction as I'm sure you can appreciate. But for any kind of rapport to work, you already need to be 'locked in' having a chat that she's actively engaged in. Normally it would involve some playful banter, some flirting etc. If that isn't there yet, then the rapport stuff is just premature. 2) Yes I think I mentioned it in the video, there does need to be a threshold attraction for it to have usefulness for attraction... BUT I can still do the rapport with a straight guy, in fact I regularly do.. So that isn't someone who is attracted to me, so a better way to say it is that she needs ot at the very least enjoy talking to you for the rapport process to work... And as an addition to that, for it to build attraction, there has to be some attraction there to start. Based on the above two, my initial gut feeling is that you just aren't 'locked in' in your interactions yet more than aything else.
@@SchoolOfAttractionattraction can be forced but it requires that you first "force" the other person to speak by the way you look at them. Social pressure is your friend here. Then you let her talk herself into liking you. This works because women love to hear themselves talk. They are very shallow creatures and their favorite topic is themselves if you can get them going.
@@SchoolOfAttraction > you already need to be 'locked in' having a chat that she's actively engaged in. Yeah, that's my conclusion too. The threshold of engagement plus a threshold of attraction, and I'm missing both of them by going to rapport too fast. Thank you!
I dont know if people where your from just start talking with strangers but that is not that normal where I am from. The normal responds is one word sentences ontil you hit some kind of interest from the women. Its not as easy as you make it sound. Your dealing with a person that is not super interested in talking with you in the beginning.
Yeah, in Russia it's kinda the same. However, when I started to specificly try to engage with people, I started to get more positive responses - even from a random granny on the street =-)
So I think you've made a valid comment - I'll try to give the answer succinctly. HOW you approach, and how you handle the first 10-30 seconds is really quite crucial - I had it myself when I first started, that I'd approach women and they'd barely acknowledge me, barely answer, give one word answers - as you've mentioned you yourself have experienced. But when your body language, and vibe is better and makes her feel more comfortable, you seem like you migh tbe fun to chat to, 80% of women in a bar environment will be quite friendly - I say that on behalf of my clients, it's something that suprrised the hell out of them on the first session they have with me. So I've coached in Australia, USA, Netherlands, Germany, UK, Thailand, New Zealand, France... Obviously there are many other countries in the world, but in all those spots, women have can be mostly friendly enough - that doesnt' mean they want to sleep with you, it just means they're open and friendly within 30 seconds. People seriously underestimate how important it is to get that first impression right though...
@@SchoolOfAttraction oh people are friendly enough when you hit the report stage but I think your making it easier then it really is to get there. The normal responds from a women is to treat you like your air they dont see or worse like you smell. Its only when she starts to ask you questions that you start to exist to her. Even then she treats you like your second class compared to her because she always has the mindset that she is the picker so you should be impressing her Witch means your always losing if you play her game. You need to be the picker if you are to win. If your her dancing monkey then your losing as your seeking validation Witch is super duper bad when it comes to women. Its like cutting off your Nuts bad.
This is top quality content. This is true attraction, not the pickup lines or acting different from what you are.
Nice job!
I appreciate that!
*It’s crazy how building a genuine connection can flip the attraction switch so effortlessly. Do you think rapport is more important than physical attraction in the long run?*
I don't know y I always run away from my social life. Sometimes I don't know what I will take frm me to just talk or chat with someone on WhatsApp or fb. if I start, along the lines I will jxt evade. Its not jxt random folks even the ppl I love, my friends and my fellow comrade's in school, I find it very difficult to communicate with them through social media too. Honestly, I don't know how my friend shedy does it even though shedy is an introvert like me. people often tell me that y do I like leaving the're messages unread. that was always my habit. when I truly felt the pain was when the girl I loved back in high school dumped me because I wasn't replying to her texts and I always ghosted her. Any time I think about all this I jxt wish I never existed.
Sorry to hear that you're struggling so much there - it sounds like a situation where you really should actively find some help and support to get you out of your hole... Having extreme forms of social anxiety/avoidance make life so much more difficult.
I learned about this "tactics" from you, in an old video . And it never worked for me, honestly - in fact, it's really painful for me to listen to your roleplay, because "your" sentences sound really like what I'm doing, but "her" sentences are not like it at all. She either just vents, disregarding my input and attempts to relate to her, or - much more likely - she just uses one-word answers despite me trying to relate, "answer my own questions" and all of the stuff I learned from your videos. This case is really typical in my texting - 99% of the time it feels like I'm doing all work, and she doesn't want to establish any rapport.
Would it be reasonable to conclude that this "rapport" stuff is a "win more" button - if she is already attracted enough to you, then it will help you a lot, but if her attraction is under the threshold, then it is almost useless, and I need to focus on getting over the threshold (in general or with specific woman) first?
So I sort of have have two parts to my answer 1) It's very hard to know exactly what's going wrong if I don't see/hear the interaction as I'm sure you can appreciate. But for any kind of rapport to work, you already need to be 'locked in' having a chat that she's actively engaged in. Normally it would involve some playful banter, some flirting etc. If that isn't there yet, then the rapport stuff is just premature.
2) Yes I think I mentioned it in the video, there does need to be a threshold attraction for it to have usefulness for attraction... BUT I can still do the rapport with a straight guy, in fact I regularly do.. So that isn't someone who is attracted to me, so a better way to say it is that she needs ot at the very least enjoy talking to you for the rapport process to work... And as an addition to that, for it to build attraction, there has to be some attraction there to start.
Based on the above two, my initial gut feeling is that you just aren't 'locked in' in your interactions yet more than aything else.
@@SchoolOfAttractionattraction can be forced but it requires that you first "force" the other person to speak by the way you look at them. Social pressure is your friend here. Then you let her talk herself into liking you. This works because women love to hear themselves talk. They are very shallow creatures and their favorite topic is themselves if you can get them going.
@@SchoolOfAttraction > you already need to be 'locked in' having a chat that she's actively engaged in.
Yeah, that's my conclusion too. The threshold of engagement plus a threshold of attraction, and I'm missing both of them by going to rapport too fast. Thank you!
I dont know if people where your from just start talking with strangers but that is not that normal where I am from. The normal responds is one word sentences ontil you hit some kind of interest from the women. Its not as easy as you make it sound. Your dealing with a person that is not super interested in talking with you in the beginning.
Yeah, in Russia it's kinda the same. However, when I started to specificly try to engage with people, I started to get more positive responses - even from a random granny on the street =-)
So I think you've made a valid comment - I'll try to give the answer succinctly.
HOW you approach, and how you handle the first 10-30 seconds is really quite crucial - I had it myself when I first started, that I'd approach women and they'd barely acknowledge me, barely answer, give one word answers - as you've mentioned you yourself have experienced.
But when your body language, and vibe is better and makes her feel more comfortable, you seem like you migh tbe fun to chat to, 80% of women in a bar environment will be quite friendly - I say that on behalf of my clients, it's something that suprrised the hell out of them on the first session they have with me.
So I've coached in Australia, USA, Netherlands, Germany, UK, Thailand, New Zealand, France... Obviously there are many other countries in the world, but in all those spots, women have can be mostly friendly enough - that doesnt' mean they want to sleep with you, it just means they're open and friendly within 30 seconds.
People seriously underestimate how important it is to get that first impression right though...
@@SchoolOfAttraction oh people are friendly enough when you hit the report stage but I think your making it easier then it really is to get there. The normal responds from a women is to treat you like your air they dont see or worse like you smell. Its only when she starts to ask you questions that you start to exist to her. Even then she treats you like your second class compared to her because she always has the mindset that she is the picker so you should be impressing her Witch means your always losing if you play her game. You need to be the picker if you are to win. If your her dancing monkey then your losing as your seeking validation Witch is super duper bad when it comes to women. Its like cutting off your Nuts bad.