1. Make her work for my attention 2. Be empowered - not perfect 3. Make her feel: unique, fascinating, sexy as hell (if she should earn it) 4. be fun and tease 5. smell great
Some preliminary takeaways: - Empowered can be another way of saying you're strategising. You're living with your folks or a cheap apartment because it's a means to an end. The end being a better future than if you blew all your monthly income trying to look like you've already made it. Her thinking for the longer-term is that your efforts will mean she's not stressing about putting food on the table or clothing the kids every month, let alone being able to go out once in a while with friends or a restaurant date - even with combined income. The other related empowerment he's talking about is pushing through your comfort zone to get what you want. The strategy of voicing your nervousness can work - but can backfire when you've experienced it working before - and have gotten results - but are now using it as basically a line since you've overcome the nervousness. - People want to feel special. You don't feel special when you can have what everyone else can also get easily. Think of how special you felt when you got your degree, or your professional credentials in the trades, etc. When you work on yourself you recognise that not everyone puts in that effort to better themselves. Like attracts like. More men, it's generally not as big of a deal that a woman is climbing the ranks in academia. But the parallel is that she's pushing herself to be good in what she does. That's sexy since being a mother is an extremely important position. The future well-being of your children is counting on her bringing her A-game.
In regard to compliments, if you don't already know her and what she puts an effort into, then look at her shoes (especially her shoes, she puts effort into choosing the right pair, and hardly anyone ever notice it), her earrings, necklace, wristwatch, dress or acessories. You don't have to be a fashion expert in order to think that a e.g. pair of shoes looks really good on her, or that it's a cool necklace she's got... as long as you mean it - be ready to move on from the compliment though, or she could start feeling awkvard, maybe turn it around and tease her a bit
I use: 'That's a great outfit' or 'No one else here could get away with that outfit, on you it looks great!' 'Lovely Hair' To tall girls I say ; 'I love tall girls' looking them straight in the eye.
"turn it around" would be to, flip the compliment to a subtle dis instead. Take the examples that Kerry gave, and say "That is a nice outfit, no one else could pull that off". Say that last part with a smile.. If she is just a little smart and aware, she'll catch the possibility that you might be suggesting that the outfit is crazy or something, and only she could pull it off. Since you say it with a smile, she'll know it was a compliment, but also laugh at the subtle dis, and the situation becomes less awkvard that way
Dude...your videos are so spot on... Anyone who doesn't take this information to heart only has themselves to blame if they fail to attract the women which they desire. Keep up the great work. It is appreciated!
This is great advice for both men and women! I’m very happy that you’re giving this advice. I wish more would seek to learn dating skills but a lot of guys I’ve spoken to think dating coaches are BS 😭
Well unfortunately they're right... Most dating coaching stuff is total BS - which is sad because it's still an important area of education - there are just so many a$$hats teaching really emotionally unhealthy stuff.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
On point 1: If you're a guy new to this and want to see exactly what this guy is talking about in a "safe space", go to a men's club and actually pay attention when you tell the dancer, "no" when she asks if you'd like a dance. That girl is pretty and sexy, but so what? She's in a room full of sexy, pretty girls. She has to work to build rapport with you to differentiate herself from every other hot chick in the room.
You negated men's claims that women have all the power because men approach them and they decide whether or not to accept them by pointing out that you often approach women and then walk away. I think that kind of misses the point, being that women approach men, far, far less often than men approach women. I don't necessarily agree with those guys. I don't think that women "have all the power." But I do think that in general it gives women an advantage in terms of opportunities they're presented with and the emotions at stake. If you've already turned down two or three people that night who approached you, and then get rejected by someone you might kind of like, but you played a passive role in initiating contact with them, it's probably not going to sting as much as it would if you've been working yourself up to approach people and you've been striking out all week long. The fact that dating coaches exist, and most of them help men navigate their way around meeting women clearly demonstrates there is at least an imbalance in this context.
Power is largely about the stories we tell ourselves - Power is mostly a perceived thing. Especially in un-measurable grey areas like this If you go through life telling yourself that women have all the power because they get to reject men who approach them. And I go through life telling myself I have all the power, because I get to choose who to approach AND I get to choose to walk away, women only get to choose from who ends up approaching them. Who do you think goes through life feeling more empowered and confident?
I hear you man. I'm struggling not to be salty in the modern dating market. Things aren't equal despite what Damien says in his reply although I'm by no means trying to bash him. I think its a good mindset to have cause at the end of the day you play the biggest role in your life. That being said, literally all a woman has to do is eat clean, do squats like twice a week, and do something other than going on insta in her spare time and she will have guys lining up to talk to her. Of course, women have a lot of other struggles like hitting the wall and being physically weaker than men. They have to worry about a lot of shit that we don't. Long story short, society and biology create vast inequalities, but you always have the *power* to act.
Interesting the push pull thing I get stuck there and I'm not funny, so I guess I gotta study comedy, but at least I know why my interactions with women don't lead anywhere. The first 3 I do naturally
I find it difficult to have conversations with women in clubs, music is usually blaring and trying to find things about her that could potentially be interesting descend into boring questions and answers
Only approach women who show initial attraction to you. Women select men for sex. You may be talented and convince 1 out of 10 women to like you, but overall it is a waste of time. When a woman is initially attracted to you it is much easier to make an emotional connection that leads to intimacy. Here is another piece of advise. If a woman shows attraction through flirting go over and talk regardless of her looks. You may find someone very special who will be focused on your needs. Bottom line do not judge a woman based solely on looks.
If you're in physical good shape, not obnoxious and respectful towards a woman it's usually game on! Nothing worse than an overweight, drunk and loud guy trying to chat me up. I keep in shape, you keep in shape. I behave, you behave. First impressions last!
@@KayNovember26 Hi, many men do not understand the level of detail a woman sees in forming a first impression in a man's overall presentation. I hope the following items are not too personal a subject for you. If so, I apologize, and just ignore them. When you are attracted to a man, before you talk, do you flirt? That is, eye contact, smile, preening, etc. to get the man's attention. If you really find a man attractive, do you ever approach first and start a conversation?
@@windward2818 Not too personal at all! I usually make eye contact or will casually approach the guy giving him a genuine compliment e.g. "You have nice eyes" or "I love the way you laugh". This works well in a bar or a similar social setting. Then the rest is up to him! I don't hang around and create a possible awkward situation. Just move along to the bar or restroom. Works well for me!
@@KayNovember26 I know how to flirt with my smiling eyes and smirk of a smile, and can read flirting signals from women and I respond in kind. A lot of my male friends don't seem to understand what is happening. It is like they are not paying attention to all the signals women send. If after flirting, I know a girl is interested in me, I will go over and introduce myself. You are so brave. Men do not understand how brave a woman is to approach a man. You are one special woman. When a woman approaches me, I let her know how special she is to come over and talk. I always stop what I am doing, and take time to sit down and talk to her, to get to know her better.
@@windward2818 Good for you! I think it's equally difficult for both sexes but someone's gotta make that first move! Just break the ice and see what happens. This applies to Westernized men. I have had some horrible incidents with South Indian men and others. Culture plays a role in how genders approach each other.
women bantering... that's funny. most don't even know how to flirt. usually when you approach them, they expect you to do everything. they are spoiled and entitled and, even if they like you, they are not that witty and socially savvy. most women are simply too shy, or plain boring and uninteresting, with boring lives and flat personalities, that's why they want a boyfriend so badly, to add some excitement to their otherwise insignificant life.
Or alternatively, sack the lot of them permanently and save yourself a ton of headache, sadness, expense and disappointment. Just get a Labrador, infinitely more rewarding than dealing with an entitled overgrown child that can't understand the concepts of loyalty or accountability. Online dating is like going through a overflowing bin trying to find the best piece of rubbish.
For what it's worth - Humour doesn't show up to be a personality trait - It's just something you learned to indulge in or not - so it's something that can be learned and appreciated for anyone.
Well it will depend on WHY - a 40 year old man living at home is a huge red flag - Is he a bum? Has he got motivation issues? Does he do drugs? IF you have a really valid reason that makes sense, but you're a high quality guy for the rest, then it's not going to be as big an issue. But there are very limited high quality reasons to be a 40 year old man living at home, and probably the best thing to focus on first is yourself and your own self-development before you focus on women.
@@SchoolOfAttraction How about a narcissistic, manipulative mother who wouldn't let me move out. I work, steady, I don't make much, but I get by. I'm not an addict of any kind.
That's a very shitty situation - But then a woman wants a guy to not be tied t his mother - that's something you want to work on getting away from to move on with your life before looking for a partner.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Women dont give a shit as to Why you are still living at home.. All they hear is that you are still at home.. and automatically think mommas boy
Women will only approach you if you're attractive, if youre below attractive to average you will always have to make the approach. If you're ugly don't even bother.
@ Average face, 5'11" height so slightly above average height but not noticeably tall. Yes those are the most important over status, income, and fitness which I am convinced do not really matter nearly at all. Behavior is very important though despite never totally making up for looks and physical attraction. Damien acknowledges this in his other videos.
5 років тому+1
Evan P Once you’ve passed the looks threshold, yes, behaviour is most important. If you keep befriending women, you’ll get friendzoned, unless she’s way below your league. Just shoot lower, lower your standards.
@ I'm six foot three and decent in the face and trust me it never helped me until I learned game. Yes status and money does definitely help but the most important thing that nobody talks about because they don't know what it is. Positioning which is similar to status.
*It’s so true that attraction starts with how you carry yourself, not just physical appearance. Great advice!*
1. Make her work for my attention
2. Be empowered - not perfect
3. Make her feel: unique, fascinating, sexy as hell (if she should earn it)
4. be fun and tease
5. smell great
8:10 Pure gold. Was feeling a big hopeless but now I’m reinvigorated and know this year will be awesome.
hell yeah dude 💯
I also live with my parents precisely for that same reason, to save up as much money I can to invest it in a personal project of mine.
Some preliminary takeaways:
- Empowered can be another way of saying you're strategising. You're living with your folks or a cheap apartment because it's a means to an end. The end being a better future than if you blew all your monthly income trying to look like you've already made it. Her thinking for the longer-term is that your efforts will mean she's not stressing about putting food on the table or clothing the kids every month, let alone being able to go out once in a while with friends or a restaurant date - even with combined income. The other related empowerment he's talking about is pushing through your comfort zone to get what you want. The strategy of voicing your nervousness can work - but can backfire when you've experienced it working before - and have gotten results - but are now using it as basically a line since you've overcome the nervousness.
- People want to feel special. You don't feel special when you can have what everyone else can also get easily. Think of how special you felt when you got your degree, or your professional credentials in the trades, etc. When you work on yourself you recognise that not everyone puts in that effort to better themselves. Like attracts like. More men, it's generally not as big of a deal that a woman is climbing the ranks in academia. But the parallel is that she's pushing herself to be good in what she does. That's sexy since being a mother is an extremely important position. The future well-being of your children is counting on her bringing her A-game.
awesome video man, your content is TOP NOTCH - you deserve way more success than these fake PUA's. You are the REAL DEAL!!
Thnaks so much Shikhar!
In regard to compliments, if you don't already know her and what she puts an effort into, then look at her shoes (especially her shoes, she puts effort into choosing the right pair, and hardly anyone ever notice it), her earrings, necklace, wristwatch, dress or acessories. You don't have to be a fashion expert in order to think that a e.g. pair of shoes looks really good on her, or that it's a cool necklace she's got... as long as you mean it - be ready to move on from the compliment though, or she could start feeling awkvard, maybe turn it around and tease her a bit
I use: 'That's a great outfit' or 'No one else here could get away with that outfit, on you it looks great!' 'Lovely Hair' To tall girls I say ; 'I love tall girls' looking them straight in the eye.
"turn it around" would be to, flip the compliment to a subtle dis instead. Take the examples that Kerry gave, and say "That is a nice outfit, no one else could pull that off". Say that last part with a smile.. If she is just a little smart and aware, she'll catch the possibility that you might be suggesting that the outfit is crazy or something, and only she could pull it off. Since you say it with a smile, she'll know it was a compliment, but also laugh at the subtle dis, and the situation becomes less awkvard that way
Dude...your videos are so spot on...
Anyone who doesn't take this information to heart only has themselves to blame if they fail to attract the women which they desire. Keep up the great work. It is appreciated!
Cheers Paul :)
That empowerment advice is gold
Cheers!
Just *compliment* (not too much though) and make her feel good while she's with you.
This is a fantastic video.
Thank you for the awesome video. I’m glad I found this channel, wish I would have found it a long time ago.
Glad to hear it Josh, Welcome!
Great points!
This is great advice for both men and women! I’m very happy that you’re giving this advice. I wish more would seek to learn dating skills but a lot of guys I’ve spoken to think dating coaches are BS 😭
Well unfortunately they're right... Most dating coaching stuff is total BS - which is sad because it's still an important area of education - there are just so many a$$hats teaching really emotionally unhealthy stuff.
this is way too hard, escorts are getting cheaper
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
On point 1: If you're a guy new to this and want to see exactly what this guy is talking about in a "safe space", go to a men's club and actually pay attention when you tell the dancer, "no" when she asks if you'd like a dance.
That girl is pretty and sexy, but so what? She's in a room full of sexy, pretty girls. She has to work to build rapport with you to differentiate herself from every other hot chick in the room.
You negated men's claims that women have all the power because men approach them and they decide whether or not to accept them by pointing out that you often approach women and then walk away. I think that kind of misses the point, being that women approach men, far, far less often than men approach women. I don't necessarily agree with those guys. I don't think that women "have all the power." But I do think that in general it gives women an advantage in terms of opportunities they're presented with and the emotions at stake. If you've already turned down two or three people that night who approached you, and then get rejected by someone you might kind of like, but you played a passive role in initiating contact with them, it's probably not going to sting as much as it would if you've been working yourself up to approach people and you've been striking out all week long. The fact that dating coaches exist, and most of them help men navigate their way around meeting women clearly demonstrates there is at least an imbalance in this context.
Power is largely about the stories we tell ourselves - Power is mostly a perceived thing. Especially in un-measurable grey areas like this
If you go through life telling yourself that women have all the power because they get to reject men who approach them.
And I go through life telling myself I have all the power, because I get to choose who to approach AND I get to choose to walk away, women only get to choose from who ends up approaching them.
Who do you think goes through life feeling more empowered and confident?
I hear you man. I'm struggling not to be salty in the modern dating market. Things aren't equal despite what Damien says in his reply although I'm by no means trying to bash him. I think its a good mindset to have cause at the end of the day you play the biggest role in your life.
That being said, literally all a woman has to do is eat clean, do squats like twice a week, and do something other than going on insta in her spare time and she will have guys lining up to talk to her.
Of course, women have a lot of other struggles like hitting the wall and being physically weaker than men. They have to worry about a lot of shit that we don't.
Long story short, society and biology create vast inequalities, but you always have the *power* to act.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Gents, take note - this comment is a perfect example of empowerment and reframing a situation to your advantage.
Interesting the push pull thing I get stuck there and I'm not funny, so I guess I gotta study comedy, but at least I know why my interactions with women don't lead anywhere. The first 3 I do naturally
Excellent
Good , nuanced explanation , Aussie style --> not too slick.
Thanks :)
I find it difficult to have conversations with women in clubs, music is usually blaring and trying to find things about her that could potentially be interesting descend into boring questions and answers
Oh yeah - I always choose places that I can hear and talk more easily - loud nighclubs aren't so great.
Platinum Advice !
Circumstances are a victim of me
How bout you put up a infield. Let’s see ur skill. Prove it to us that u can execute what u preach.
A decent video, but it could probably have been a 10 minute video, instead of 20.
better more details then less
2x playback speed
Shift + . (full stop)
or in other words type ">"
to decrease the speed, use "
Only approach women who show initial attraction to you. Women select men for sex. You may be talented and convince 1 out of 10 women to like you, but overall it is a waste of time. When a woman is initially attracted to you it is much easier to make an emotional connection that leads to intimacy. Here is another piece of advise. If a woman shows attraction through flirting go over and talk regardless of her looks. You may find someone very special who will be focused on your needs. Bottom line do not judge a woman based solely on looks.
If you're in physical good shape, not obnoxious and respectful towards a woman it's usually game on! Nothing worse than an overweight, drunk and loud guy trying to chat me up. I keep in shape, you keep in shape. I behave, you behave. First impressions last!
@@KayNovember26 Hi, many men do not understand the level of detail a woman sees in forming a first impression in a man's overall presentation.
I hope the following items are not too personal a subject for you. If so, I apologize, and just ignore them.
When you are attracted to a man, before you talk, do you flirt? That is, eye contact, smile, preening, etc. to get the man's attention.
If you really find a man attractive, do you ever approach first and start a conversation?
@@windward2818 Not too personal at all! I usually make eye contact or will casually approach the guy giving him a genuine compliment e.g. "You have nice eyes" or "I love the way you laugh". This works well in a bar or a similar social setting. Then the rest is up to him! I don't hang around and create a possible awkward situation. Just move along to the bar or restroom. Works well for me!
@@KayNovember26 I know how to flirt with my smiling eyes and smirk of a smile, and can read flirting signals from women and I respond in kind. A lot of my male friends don't seem to understand what is happening. It is like they are not paying attention to all the signals women send.
If after flirting, I know a girl is interested in me, I will go over and introduce myself.
You are so brave. Men do not understand how brave a woman is to approach a man. You are one special woman.
When a woman approaches me, I let her know how special she is to come over and talk. I always stop what I am doing, and take time to sit down and talk to her, to get to know her better.
@@windward2818 Good for you! I think it's equally difficult for both sexes but someone's gotta make that first move! Just break the ice and see what happens. This applies to Westernized men. I have had some horrible incidents with South Indian men and others. Culture plays a role in how genders approach each other.
Laughter comes from chemistry. Sometimes a girl laughs at things you say even if it’s not a joke. Good conversation is big part of attraction
That happens as well - But having a good sense of humor is still hugely critical. She'll just laugh more easily the more she likes you.
That's a clear case if hardcore black pill facts vs blue pill delusions
Why do I feel like this guy goes to my gym
It's certainly possible if you live in the GC ;)
How come the woman i treat like shit want me more when I’m clearly trying to push them away. Must be treated like shit by their dad or something.
Some girls like a challenge, those chasers that you don't want are low value girls.
women bantering... that's funny. most don't even know how to flirt. usually when you approach them, they expect you to do everything. they are spoiled and entitled and, even if they like you, they are not that witty and socially savvy. most women are simply too shy, or plain boring and uninteresting, with boring lives and flat personalities, that's why they want a boyfriend so badly, to add some excitement to their otherwise insignificant life.
Tell me who hurt you MikiMaki76? Hahahaha
This is a good video.
James Bond
Google:: UA-cam-Adam Atiyeh
Or alternatively, sack the lot of them permanently and save yourself a ton of headache, sadness, expense and disappointment. Just get a Labrador, infinitely more rewarding than dealing with an entitled overgrown child that can't understand the concepts of loyalty or accountability. Online dating is like going through a overflowing bin trying to find the best piece of rubbish.
Batman is a perfect character!
are you working on a book?
I wrote my first book 7 years ago :)
@@SchoolOfAttraction title please? is it on amazon kindle? you are one of my favorite coaches
Cheers PIlip, I appreciate it - It's on Amazon as well - But you can get it from my website cheapest - IT's called Sincere Seduction.
Bro show prove you with girls you can’t just say what you think you should do🤦🏻♂️
Bro - I've been around coaching for 12 years - My company and reputation is huge in Australia, my days of proving myself are quite far behind me. ;)
I'm not funny at all though. I can't even make s fucking wasp laugh. My personality is very serious and boring. What do I do now?
For what it's worth - Humour doesn't show up to be a personality trait - It's just something you learned to indulge in or not - so it's something that can be learned and appreciated for anyone.
Every time I ask my pillow if it wants some, it never turns me down.
You ever had a dream about eating a giant marshmallow wake up with no pillow burping up feathers
Women will be turned off by you if you're living at home, and you're in your 40s.
Well it will depend on WHY - a 40 year old man living at home is a huge red flag - Is he a bum? Has he got motivation issues? Does he do drugs? IF you have a really valid reason that makes sense, but you're a high quality guy for the rest, then it's not going to be as big an issue. But there are very limited high quality reasons to be a 40 year old man living at home, and probably the best thing to focus on first is yourself and your own self-development before you focus on women.
@@SchoolOfAttraction How about a narcissistic, manipulative mother who wouldn't let me move out. I work, steady, I don't make much, but I get by. I'm not an addict of any kind.
That's a very shitty situation - But then a woman wants a guy to not be tied t his mother - that's something you want to work on getting away from to move on with your life before looking for a partner.
And unkept and overweight. You obviously got NO ambition! Get out and start living. Or stay alone with momma.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Women dont give a shit as to Why you are still living at home.. All they hear is that you are still at home.. and automatically think mommas boy
11:19 no pun intended
Me: hey what do you do for a living?
Girl: I work in Tesco.
Me: Wow, that's fascinating, tell me more about that.
Girl: Piss off.
What about make her joules?
Why the hell
Nope. I say that first. Ha!
Look at her smile . Then don't say anything . When she is ready . She will approach you. Never chase women
Women will only approach you if you're attractive, if youre below attractive to average you will always have to make the approach. If you're ugly don't even bother.
@@kool4209 then u need game homie. It's not what u say . It's how u say it
I'm fugly fun not cute guy
@@paulvigil6757 lmaoooo it doesnt matter what you say or how you say it if youre not even a person she wants to be with..... looks matter
@@paulvigil6757 doubt it
hey babe - wanna help me pick out some deodorant ?
1st!
@ Getting higher income and more athletic did nothing for my success with women so you're at least wrong about that part.
@ Average face, 5'11" height so slightly above average height but not noticeably tall. Yes those are the most important over status, income, and fitness which I am convinced do not really matter nearly at all. Behavior is very important though despite never totally making up for looks and physical attraction. Damien acknowledges this in his other videos.
Evan P
Once you’ve passed the looks threshold, yes, behaviour is most important. If you keep befriending women, you’ll get friendzoned, unless she’s way below your league. Just shoot lower, lower your standards.
@ I'm six foot three and decent in the face and trust me it never helped me until I learned game. Yes status and money does definitely help but the most important thing that nobody talks about because they don't know what it is. Positioning which is similar to status.
@ Not sure how your last comment is relevant to the discussion lol.