*Rejection often happens because guys rush things too quickly or come off as inauthentic. Being patient, showing genuine interest, and keeping the conversation light and engaging will always win over a forced pickup line.*
A lot of this (not the smell and fashion) is body language and vocal tonality, and worrying about this stuff can just get you even more in your head. You can fix most of this stuff by just changing your mindset. Talk to them like you are talking to an old friend at first until she is more comfortable in your presence before trying to build attraction.
So you aren't wrong - but I'd argue neither am I - this top-down vs bottom-up debate as been around for a while. Becuase yes, if you really get your mindset in a good place then a lot of this will fix itself - I agree with you. From my perspective though - I have a student in front of me, I get him to fix a couple basic mistakes he personally makes (nobody is making all of these mistakes at once), and suddenly women are friendly to him - in that instant, in one night, his mindset begins to shift irrevocably. So fixing either tends ot help fix the other. And yes, I acknowledge your argument about getting stuck in your head trying to think of a laundry list of items to get right - this is valid too - Normaly when I'm coaching, I focus on just fixing one thing at a time to be fair.
I live in Sydney Australia and once you’re over 35 there are few places to meet women. I’m 53 with no family (orphan) and no real friends. All the women at work are taken or not interested. I work in finance and the women in my team tease me that even Hitler had girlfriends and a wife. I’ve done and checked every thing on this list. Yet I’ve approached women all year and either get told to FO on approach or they politely say go away. It is so hard getting constant rejection; I’ve been trying for 30 years and not one date. I don’t blame or hate women. But I might as well kill myself if I’m never going to meet one nice woman 😢
Are these tips cross-cultural? Because, for example, in Russia the big wide American-style smile is considered "tryhard" or even "creepy". There is a Russian proverb saying: "A laughter without a reason is a sign of a fool". Or, as an example, my mom literally taught me how to not "talk with my hands" (which I always did when I was a kid), because it is looked at as a lack of self-control. In general, in Russian big cities we are less welcoming to random people - the first thought in my head when somebody talks to me outside without a clear reason is: "Does he want to scam me?". We are (kind of correctly) stereotyped as unfriendly to strangers - this gets a complete 180 in smaller towns, but, as far as I know about game, they are generally bad for it. So I wonder, should I somehow heavily adapt the game I'm learning from you, or does it need just a minor tweak?
You've raised a good point... This approach works in most places, but will be limited in some... For example, cold approaching in some countries could get you inot a lot of trouble - like Dubai, if you approach the wrong woman in the street, if you're lucky enough to find one for example. I agree with your assessment of the Russian culture - it's different... if I go to Russia myself, I'll get away with it because I'm clearly a foreigner -b ut for you to have a big goofy smile and start joking with a stranger would NOT go down so well, I agree. So there are spots it won't work so well... But those tend to be the excpetions ratehr than the rule if you get what I mean. However if you are from a place where something like this would have obvious drawbacks (like Russia) then you absolutely should step back and think about what should be adapted to be more suitable.
The major obstacle in meeting people is the absence of places where you could establish some initial contact without "trying too hard", without making your intentions too obvious too soon. You want some general overview who is who and who is what. Schools and workplaces are such platforms, but you don't stay in school forever, and few workplaces give an opportunity to interface with people in any significant numbers. Having that initial transparency would save you a lot of frustration since you then can bypass people where you know right away they're not a right match for you.
While I'm a big fan of social life dating - meeting women through social activities and hobbies - and I get a lot of my clients into that style of meeting women - what's wrong with meeting women in a bar? Why is it 'trying too hard' to walk up and say hello and start chatting? I've been doing it for 2 decades now, and it's still the most time-efficient way to meet some pretty intersting women.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Nothing wrong with meeting women in a bar. All I'm saying, making a dedicated effort only to bump again and again into people who struggle to assemble a single intelligent sentence, can quickly become tedious and make you lose interest.
What if you have a crush/love for a woman who works in the office with you and i think they're 27 and i think she maybe has brazilian background. I'm man 42 with Indian background and what if they're already with someone else or texting someone else and smiling at work. What if you have already expressed your feelings and asked them out and they reject you. So do you think there's another chance or something else? Do you think they hate me now or do they still want to be friends and work with me or they are going to run away in the opposite direction? Do you think they will go and do things with me as friends outside of work? What does your cards say or astrology or stuff say about the rejection and person ? When and where I'll meet them and how long time they'll need are interested in you and how or who will ask out furst or expressing yourself If i asked them out again, would you think they will say yes or would they want to be around me at all. At work and outside of work and want to hang out with me I have never been approached by any person in terms of love relationship and they have always rejected me and run away in the opposite direction. So how do we know when it will happen, where will it happen, how will it happen and who will it be Any advice?
*Rejection often happens because guys rush things too quickly or come off as inauthentic. Being patient, showing genuine interest, and keeping the conversation light and engaging will always win over a forced pickup line.*
A lot of this (not the smell and fashion) is body language and vocal tonality, and worrying about this stuff can just get you even more in your head. You can fix most of this stuff by just changing your mindset. Talk to them like you are talking to an old friend at first until she is more comfortable in your presence before trying to build attraction.
So you aren't wrong - but I'd argue neither am I - this top-down vs bottom-up debate as been around for a while. Becuase yes, if you really get your mindset in a good place then a lot of this will fix itself - I agree with you.
From my perspective though - I have a student in front of me, I get him to fix a couple basic mistakes he personally makes (nobody is making all of these mistakes at once), and suddenly women are friendly to him - in that instant, in one night, his mindset begins to shift irrevocably. So fixing either tends ot help fix the other.
And yes, I acknowledge your argument about getting stuck in your head trying to think of a laundry list of items to get right - this is valid too - Normaly when I'm coaching, I focus on just fixing one thing at a time to be fair.
I live in Sydney Australia and once you’re over 35 there are few places to meet women. I’m 53 with no family (orphan) and no real friends. All the women at work are taken or not interested. I work in finance and the women in my team tease me that even Hitler had girlfriends and a wife. I’ve done and checked every thing on this list. Yet I’ve approached women all year and either get told to FO on approach or they politely say go away. It is so hard getting constant rejection; I’ve been trying for 30 years and not one date. I don’t blame or hate women. But I might as well kill myself if I’m never going to meet one nice woman 😢
Are these tips cross-cultural? Because, for example, in Russia the big wide American-style smile is considered "tryhard" or even "creepy". There is a Russian proverb saying: "A laughter without a reason is a sign of a fool". Or, as an example, my mom literally taught me how to not "talk with my hands" (which I always did when I was a kid), because it is looked at as a lack of self-control.
In general, in Russian big cities we are less welcoming to random people - the first thought in my head when somebody talks to me outside without a clear reason is: "Does he want to scam me?". We are (kind of correctly) stereotyped as unfriendly to strangers - this gets a complete 180 in smaller towns, but, as far as I know about game, they are generally bad for it. So I wonder, should I somehow heavily adapt the game I'm learning from you, or does it need just a minor tweak?
You've raised a good point... This approach works in most places, but will be limited in some... For example, cold approaching in some countries could get you inot a lot of trouble - like Dubai, if you approach the wrong woman in the street, if you're lucky enough to find one for example.
I agree with your assessment of the Russian culture - it's different... if I go to Russia myself, I'll get away with it because I'm clearly a foreigner -b ut for you to have a big goofy smile and start joking with a stranger would NOT go down so well, I agree.
So there are spots it won't work so well... But those tend to be the excpetions ratehr than the rule if you get what I mean.
However if you are from a place where something like this would have obvious drawbacks (like Russia) then you absolutely should step back and think about what should be adapted to be more suitable.
@SchoolOfAttraction Got it, thanks for the sanity check ;-)
The major obstacle in meeting people is the absence of places where you could establish some initial contact without "trying too hard", without making your intentions too obvious too soon. You want some general overview who is who and who is what. Schools and workplaces are such platforms, but you don't stay in school forever, and few workplaces give an opportunity to interface with people in any significant numbers. Having that initial transparency would save you a lot of frustration since you then can bypass people where you know right away they're not a right match for you.
Hobbies and classes where you go regularly and see a lot of the same people. This is the best avenue imo.
@@ceeIoc For making friends yes. But most of the time men and women will have different interests. How many women are into yacht racing.
@@comdo831 well you kinda have to find a balance. Hiking, salsa, pickleball, running, etc have a good mix.
While I'm a big fan of social life dating - meeting women through social activities and hobbies - and I get a lot of my clients into that style of meeting women - what's wrong with meeting women in a bar?
Why is it 'trying too hard' to walk up and say hello and start chatting? I've been doing it for 2 decades now, and it's still the most time-efficient way to meet some pretty intersting women.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Nothing wrong with meeting women in a bar. All I'm saying, making a dedicated effort only to bump again and again into people who struggle to assemble a single intelligent sentence, can quickly become tedious and make you lose interest.
What if you have a crush/love for a woman who works in the office with you and i think they're 27 and i think she maybe has brazilian background. I'm man 42 with Indian background and what if they're already with someone else or texting someone else and smiling at work. What if you have already expressed your feelings and asked them out and they reject you. So do you think there's another chance or something else? Do you think they hate me now or do they still want to be friends and work with me or they are going to run away in the opposite direction? Do you think they will go and do things with me as friends outside of work? What does your cards say or astrology or stuff say about the rejection and person ? When and where I'll meet them and how long time they'll need are interested in you and how or who will ask out furst or expressing yourself
If i asked them out again, would you think they will say yes or would they want to be around me at all. At work and outside of work and want to hang out with me
I have never been approached by any person in terms of love relationship and they have always rejected me and run away in the opposite direction. So how do we know when it will happen, where will it happen, how will it happen and who will it be
Any advice?