I think I'd also add that you are going to be a lot more comfortable approaching a girl who your more likely to get along with and thus less likely to even want to use game face. I think the idea of going for women you are likely to get along with is such an underrated topic and I'm glad to see it brought up here.
"confidently own these elements of yourself" really spoke to me. I'm have a Math and Stats degree and recently got two math formulas tattooed on my arm.
That's epic! I had a client who was a theoretical physics professor - and he absolutely rocked it in a similar way. He wasn't a particularly good looking man, but he had swaggre about himself and some women really loved it.
Really useful about advice about approaching groups of women. It's hard enough approaching one girl you're really attracted to, but one had so much experience of a walking up to a girl and her friend getting in the way (things that guys never do to their friends). It just feels like so much more work to try and get the friends onside as well as the girl. But I'll try and take on your advice next time
So hard truth time... 9 times out of 10, when the friend 'gets in the way' it's because she can see her friend isn't that into you. Women don't cock block each other if their friends dig the guy - they'd never hear the end of it form their friends haha
@@SchoolOfAttraction that's a bitter pill to swallow 😂. I guess what I find difficult is trying to get 2 or more women onside, when there's only one that I'm interested in
What do you suppose is difficult about getting 2 or 3 or 5 women onsid ethat's harder than 1? I'm not being glib, I'm curious how you process that as different. If one girl genuinely likes you from what you've done/said so far, her friends are likely to feel the same way in my experience.
Great video man! You are right in that your style of commentary is much different than the others, and I really like it. This video helped me a lot, especially the approaching in groups part.
One time I approached a group of 3-4 girls. When i started to talk, during my mid-sentence they all just looked at me and bursted out laughing in a choir. To this day one of the most embarrasing memory of approaching a group of girls.
Very important component: HOW LOUD IS THAT BAR? Not that you'd be discussing deep subjects, but it can be very frustrating WHEN THE MUSIC IS JUST TOO DARN LOUD!! A lot of people pretend it doesn't affect them and it can be a useful tool for you as well.
It is entirely possible which is very sad - But It's also possible this isn't true.. As you can imagine, most guys I work with struggle to e ver appoarch women in bars.
One of the best ways to get girls is to already have some. Women use "prequalification" to sift through guys.. if other women enjoy his company, they know he has potential and they want the guy other women want, simple
Hi Damien, thanks for the video! Doing what you recommend, I worry about the following: if there is a particular girl that caught my eye, how would I transition to talking to her more exclusively and indicating that I like her? I would kind of fear hanging in there, making small talk with everyone and then not making any moves after that. Do you have any comments? Cheers
Yeah so what I do is 3 things a) The girl I like is the one I banter with/playfully tease... b) From very early on, I'm directing most of my questions to her.. 3) If I haven't managed to make it clear yet, I'll give her a compliment.
Not sure abou tthe question - in this strategy, you are making new friends group every time - and when you approach the girls you want to make your new friend group you admit to them that you are out alone.
I like this topic, but always conclude the same thing: that there simply is no good way to approach. Maybe for a certain kind of guy, but not for most of us. I really don't believe that women are interested and just waiting for approaches.
Curious why that's the conclusion you reach? I ask becuase with bar-approaching I've seen all kinds, and I mean all kinds of guys have success. Not saying that to play some marketing game with you - just stating that it's a bit heart breaking when guys think it isn't doable. I'm not talking 40 year old who lives with him mum taking a super-model home - but I'm talking 40 year old who lives with his mum getting at least numbers and going on dates and getting a gf - as a bare minimum.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I never saw cold approaches work for anybody, and certainly not for me. My serious conclusion is that women are almost never out there to meet anyone. The better way to meet a female is for there to be some pre-existing context, such as a class or similar interest. Even then it is not so easy. I'm older now, but looking back always felt it was almost impossibly difficult to meet a female, especially after college.
That's a shame - but really, all you'd need to do woudl be head out with guys who do it successfully a couple of times - it works quite a charm - but you really do need to know what you're doing.
That's interesting. How much of these advices can be applied to daytime approaches? Nightgame is absolutely not for me, I would love to see some fresh videos from you about daygame =-)
How to approach girls in bars - "I need a new double Vodka Rocks" because the server girls are the only ones I am concerned with - because the only thing more pedantic than the dating apps - is the bar. signed 5-6 dude.
Here is the situation for me. I have "acceptable" success with flirting and speaking to women. But only in scenarios when the ice is broken for us. Like jobs or friends party environment. So I was looking for a video about What to Say to get the conversation going. From then I can do ok and try on my own. Because the classic : "Hey I find you really cute how's your day/night going" didn't work for me well. Anything you can point. Thank you :)
Honestly, "Hey I wanted to come say hello" Has worked a brilliant charm for a huge number of guys - I usually say that if you can't make this line work, then you need to work on body language, eye contact, etc.... But that doesn't mean it's the best line to use... The best line to use really is something situational and playful... as an example - if there's a girl on her phone you could approach with "Hey, are you a tinder addict stuck there swiping left and right are we?" I'll have a playful smirk on my face and thats how we get going.
Ahh - I dress up usually - looking smart or trendy - hard to expalin because I'm always wearing different clothing - but I dress to suit my body type... I'm well groomed - I currently use Paco Rabanne One Million cologne.. and I always shake their hands hello. The rest of my time I gesticulate a lot while talking.
Dont. Your wasting your time. In my 47 years I've never walked up to women in a bar to engage in conversation with them. I usually have known someone outside the bar environment and we agreed to meet up at a bar to talk
In my 38 years, I've personally walked up to and talked with 1000s of women, and watched 1000s of guys make 10s of thousands of approaches. It definitely isn't a waste of time :)
what are your thoughts on escorts or sex workers, paying for sex? a lot of people call that the worlds oldest profession, its as old as civilization itself
I mean I don't see anything wrong with it - Either women doing it for work, or men going ot see them - Assuming the women are kept safe and the industry is regulated to prevent the spread of disease.
The only thing I struggle with sometimes, is finding a good bar etc. to actually talk to people. Either the music is too loud, or groups sit very tight on eachother. It would be very unnaturual to approach in my opinion. Where as I am fine approaching people in a more approachable setting. Any advice? Especially for nights out.
It's a little hard to answer because I don't know your choices in locations - but based on my experience this sounds a bit like an excuse not to approach as well. Loud venues are definitely less than ideal, but still doable, and clustered groups can be okay... But it's always possible your city is a little unique, there are always exceptions, so dont' want to write you off outright - My advice thouigh, would be - are other guys picking up in bars in your city? If so, then you can too!
@@SchoolOfAttraction they totally do and so did I last Saturday! However unsuccessful, I am learning. Only thing I am inexperienced in is the sexual escalating part. I always try to be funny, witty or nice. So plenty of conversations, but 0 hookups. 😅
@@SchoolOfAttraction did a day approach today, instant result! Had a short convo after making my intentions known by saying she was cute and wanted to say hi. Good vibes, asked for her snapchat and she added me back the day after. Now, do you have any videos on your guidelines for getting back to her with messaging and keeping it short to fix a meet-up?
Nice work!! I do - but not in any of my youtube videos I don't think... The short advice is, be playful in your messages - and line up a date sooner rather than later, and make the date something low-key.
Hey, how is it going, i had a quick question :) I deleted my Tinder account and uninstalled the app around 4 months ago and now want to download it again and make a new account (its been more than 92 days). Should i use the same phone number or should i use a new one? My account was not banned or shadowbanned, i just didnt like my results and now that i got some pics want to give it a new start. I read that if you wait 92 days you can use the same shit without a penalty.
I find I can achieve the same thing without waiting... I just don't reset my account too frequenlty - so yeah 90 days is more than enough to not have to use a new number or anything.
Also, a specific question about "don't approach the girls you are unlikely to get along because they appear hot". I understand what you mean, but doesn't it border on the "rejecting yourself" fallacy? If you think that no way you will get along with a girl as pretty as her, because she clearly puts too much effort in her appearance, it's the same "rejecting yourself" in sour grapes disguise. "Oh, yes, she has flowing hair and stunning make-up, she must be clearly boring, and it's not like I'm afraid to approach her or anything". This advice seems really strange to me, honestly.
Okay, so I'd better clarify.. I didn't say "don't approach her becuase she's hot" I said don't approach her if she doesn't look like a girl you'll get along with - and often the super-superficial women are 'people' we won't get along with. I never said don't talk to a girl becuase she's attractive.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I understand, but you gave an example that if she looks like she puts much effort in her appearance, you may not get along with her. That's the problematic part that I see =-)
I said if she looks like she puts a LOT of effort into her appearance... Surely you know the stereotype I'm referring to... And why is it problematic? Most guys here wouldnt' get along with that woman, let alone how she'd feel about most guys here.
@@SchoolOfAttraction The problem is that it is very easy to give yourself an excuse that way. A man can have hard time deciding if she puts a little effort or a lot of effort, especially if he is inexperienced. Just a thought ;-)
Not in my expereince though - it's a stereotype of girl - and from my experiecne as a coach, guys can spot them easily - with lets say a 90% accuracy. And yes you could use it as an excuse - but that rationale could be used for any dating skill.. If you want ot talk yourself out of an approach, there are too many ways to do it. But I believe a core skill to learning ot pick up women is knowing which ones to approach and which ones to avoid.
What Damien is not telling you in AMERICA and ENGLAND men out number the women three to one All dating coaches ignore external factors and blame the men You cant trust dating coaches......P.S ...Australia dating scene is very simular to all western cultures....
www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/ and I quote "The growth in unpartnered adults has been sharper among men than women. In 1990, men and women ages 25 to 54 were equally likely to be unpartnered (29% of each group). By 2019, 39% of men were unpartnered, compared with 36% of women." when you said 3 to 1 - did you in fact mean 3% more single men? Because Pew Research disagrees with you.
I think I'd also add that you are going to be a lot more comfortable approaching a girl who your more likely to get along with and thus less likely to even want to use game face. I think the idea of going for women you are likely to get along with is such an underrated topic and I'm glad to see it brought up here.
The last time I approached two girls in a bar, I got the warmest reaction when I said goodbye again 😀
"confidently own these elements of yourself" really spoke to me.
I'm have a Math and Stats degree and recently got two math formulas tattooed on my arm.
That's epic! I had a client who was a theoretical physics professor - and he absolutely rocked it in a similar way. He wasn't a particularly good looking man, but he had swaggre about himself and some women really loved it.
What did you get tattooed? I hope it aint Euler’s Identity or something 😂
Really useful about advice about approaching groups of women. It's hard enough approaching one girl you're really attracted to, but one had so much experience of a walking up to a girl and her friend getting in the way (things that guys never do to their friends). It just feels like so much more work to try and get the friends onside as well as the girl. But I'll try and take on your advice next time
So hard truth time... 9 times out of 10, when the friend 'gets in the way' it's because she can see her friend isn't that into you. Women don't cock block each other if their friends dig the guy - they'd never hear the end of it form their friends haha
@@SchoolOfAttraction that's a bitter pill to swallow 😂. I guess what I find difficult is trying to get 2 or more women onside, when there's only one that I'm interested in
What do you suppose is difficult about getting 2 or 3 or 5 women onsid ethat's harder than 1? I'm not being glib, I'm curious how you process that as different. If one girl genuinely likes you from what you've done/said so far, her friends are likely to feel the same way in my experience.
Great video man! You are right in that your style of commentary is much different than the others, and I really like it. This video helped me a lot, especially the approaching in groups part.
Cheers man, glad to hear you appreciate it!
I really like this "mindset videos"!
One time I approached a group of 3-4 girls. When i started to talk, during my mid-sentence they all just looked at me and bursted out laughing in a choir. To this day one of the most embarrasing memory of approaching a group of girls.
Damn - that's rough.. I've had that happen too...
Very important component: HOW LOUD IS THAT BAR? Not that you'd be discussing deep subjects, but it can be very frustrating WHEN THE MUSIC IS JUST TOO DARN LOUD!! A lot of people pretend it doesn't affect them and it can be a useful tool for you as well.
Yeah for sure - I never choose loud bar environments for coaching either, it's just too difficult.
I attract a lot of women in many places like these, but I still like to learn and watch these videos
Gzus, another video I'll be adding to my favorites.
Going up to girls in clubs is an absolute nightmare for me I get huge anxiety, think I've got a form complex ptsd :(
It is entirely possible which is very sad - But It's also possible this isn't true.. As you can imagine, most guys I work with struggle to e ver appoarch women in bars.
One of the best ways to get girls is to already have some. Women use "prequalification" to sift through guys.. if other women enjoy his company, they know he has potential and they want the guy other women want, simple
Yeah definitely this prequalification helps a lot
I'm 6-8, athletic and look like Tom Cruise but I suck at meeting women. Perhaps these videos will help me.
My palms got sweatier and sweatier towards the end of the video 😅
Hi Damien, thanks for the video! Doing what you recommend, I worry about the following: if there is a particular girl that caught my eye, how would I transition to talking to her more exclusively and indicating that I like her? I would kind of fear hanging in there, making small talk with everyone and then not making any moves after that. Do you have any comments? Cheers
Yeah so what I do is 3 things a) The girl I like is the one I banter with/playfully tease... b) From very early on, I'm directing most of my questions to her.. 3) If I haven't managed to make it clear yet, I'll give her a compliment.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thanks a lot!
But what if you are alone ? You cant always say " i was just chilling with friends"
Not sure abou tthe question - in this strategy, you are making new friends group every time - and when you approach the girls you want to make your new friend group you admit to them that you are out alone.
I like this topic, but always conclude the same thing: that there simply is no good way to approach. Maybe for a certain kind of guy, but not for most of us. I really don't believe that women are interested and just waiting for approaches.
Curious why that's the conclusion you reach? I ask becuase with bar-approaching I've seen all kinds, and I mean all kinds of guys have success. Not saying that to play some marketing game with you - just stating that it's a bit heart breaking when guys think it isn't doable. I'm not talking 40 year old who lives with him mum taking a super-model home - but I'm talking 40 year old who lives with his mum getting at least numbers and going on dates and getting a gf - as a bare minimum.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I never saw cold approaches work for anybody, and certainly not for me. My serious conclusion is that women are almost never out there to meet anyone. The better way to meet a female is for there to be some pre-existing context, such as a class or similar interest. Even then it is not so easy. I'm older now, but looking back always felt it was almost impossibly difficult to meet a female, especially after college.
That's a shame - but really, all you'd need to do woudl be head out with guys who do it successfully a couple of times - it works quite a charm - but you really do need to know what you're doing.
That's interesting. How much of these advices can be applied to daytime approaches? Nightgame is absolutely not for me, I would love to see some fresh videos from you about daygame =-)
I mean most of this will apply day or night
“Did you just fall from heaven? Cuz your hair’s a mess!”
How to approach girls in bars - "I need a new double Vodka Rocks"
because the server girls are the only ones I am concerned with - because the only thing more pedantic than the dating apps - is the bar.
signed 5-6 dude.
6:12 McLuviiin
When I go out I don’t give a shit
Here is the situation for me. I have "acceptable" success with flirting and speaking to women. But only in scenarios when the ice is broken for us. Like jobs or friends party environment.
So I was looking for a video about What to Say to get the conversation going. From then I can do ok and try on my own. Because the classic : "Hey I find you really cute how's your day/night going" didn't work for me well. Anything you can point. Thank you :)
Honestly, "Hey I wanted to come say hello" Has worked a brilliant charm for a huge number of guys - I usually say that if you can't make this line work, then you need to work on body language, eye contact, etc.... But that doesn't mean it's the best line to use...
The best line to use really is something situational and playful... as an example - if there's a girl on her phone you could approach with "Hey, are you a tinder addict stuck there swiping left and right are we?" I'll have a playful smirk on my face and thats how we get going.
How do you dress and what type of smell do you go for? Do you shake a womans hand when you meet them or just say hi, what do you do with your hands?
Ahh - I dress up usually - looking smart or trendy - hard to expalin because I'm always wearing different clothing - but I dress to suit my body type... I'm well groomed - I currently use Paco Rabanne One Million cologne.. and I always shake their hands hello. The rest of my time I gesticulate a lot while talking.
Regarding the hands…i tuck them under my armpits.
Dont. Your wasting your time. In my 47 years I've never walked up to women in a bar to engage in conversation with them. I usually have known someone outside the bar environment and we agreed to meet up at a bar to talk
In my 38 years, I've personally walked up to and talked with 1000s of women, and watched 1000s of guys make 10s of thousands of approaches. It definitely isn't a waste of time :)
@@SchoolOfAttraction right on.
I haven’t watched but I hope he says “don’t” and talks about another subject for the other 9.5 minutes 🤷♂️
what are your thoughts on escorts or sex workers, paying for sex? a lot of people call that the worlds oldest profession, its as old as civilization itself
I mean I don't see anything wrong with it - Either women doing it for work, or men going ot see them - Assuming the women are kept safe and the industry is regulated to prevent the spread of disease.
The only thing I struggle with sometimes, is finding a good bar etc. to actually talk to people. Either the music is too loud, or groups sit very tight on eachother. It would be very unnaturual to approach in my opinion. Where as I am fine approaching people in a more approachable setting. Any advice? Especially for nights out.
It's a little hard to answer because I don't know your choices in locations - but based on my experience this sounds a bit like an excuse not to approach as well. Loud venues are definitely less than ideal, but still doable, and clustered groups can be okay... But it's always possible your city is a little unique, there are always exceptions, so dont' want to write you off outright - My advice thouigh, would be - are other guys picking up in bars in your city? If so, then you can too!
@@SchoolOfAttraction they totally do and so did I last Saturday! However unsuccessful, I am learning. Only thing I am inexperienced in is the sexual escalating part. I always try to be funny, witty or nice. So plenty of conversations, but 0 hookups. 😅
Good on you for working at it though... frustratingly it can take a bit of time..
@@SchoolOfAttraction did a day approach today, instant result! Had a short convo after making my intentions known by saying she was cute and wanted to say hi. Good vibes, asked for her snapchat and she added me back the day after. Now, do you have any videos on your guidelines for getting back to her with messaging and keeping it short to fix a meet-up?
Nice work!! I do - but not in any of my youtube videos I don't think... The short advice is, be playful in your messages - and line up a date sooner rather than later, and make the date something low-key.
Hey, how is it going, i had a quick question :)
I deleted my Tinder account and uninstalled the app around 4 months ago and now want to download it again and make a new account (its been more than 92 days). Should i use the same phone number or should i use a new one? My account was not banned or shadowbanned, i just didnt like my results and now that i got some pics want to give it a new start. I read that if you wait 92 days you can use the same shit without a penalty.
I find I can achieve the same thing without waiting... I just don't reset my account too frequenlty - so yeah 90 days is more than enough to not have to use a new number or anything.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thank you for the response :)
Also, a specific question about "don't approach the girls you are unlikely to get along because they appear hot".
I understand what you mean, but doesn't it border on the "rejecting yourself" fallacy? If you think that no way you will get along with a girl as pretty as her, because she clearly puts too much effort in her appearance, it's the same "rejecting yourself" in sour grapes disguise. "Oh, yes, she has flowing hair and stunning make-up, she must be clearly boring, and it's not like I'm afraid to approach her or anything".
This advice seems really strange to me, honestly.
Okay, so I'd better clarify.. I didn't say "don't approach her becuase she's hot" I said don't approach her if she doesn't look like a girl you'll get along with - and often the super-superficial women are 'people' we won't get along with. I never said don't talk to a girl becuase she's attractive.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I understand, but you gave an example that if she looks like she puts much effort in her appearance, you may not get along with her. That's the problematic part that I see =-)
I said if she looks like she puts a LOT of effort into her appearance... Surely you know the stereotype I'm referring to... And why is it problematic? Most guys here wouldnt' get along with that woman, let alone how she'd feel about most guys here.
@@SchoolOfAttraction The problem is that it is very easy to give yourself an excuse that way. A man can have hard time deciding if she puts a little effort or a lot of effort, especially if he is inexperienced. Just a thought ;-)
Not in my expereince though - it's a stereotype of girl - and from my experiecne as a coach, guys can spot them easily - with lets say a 90% accuracy. And yes you could use it as an excuse - but that rationale could be used for any dating skill.. If you want ot talk yourself out of an approach, there are too many ways to do it. But I believe a core skill to learning ot pick up women is knowing which ones to approach and which ones to avoid.
Your game face made me close the video
How To Approach A Girl At A Bar
thats the neat part, you don't, or you may get accused of harassment. Love modernity dont you?
Luckily for the 100s of guys I know at the moment who are currently approaching women in bars, this doesn't happen in real life.
What Damien is not telling you in AMERICA and ENGLAND men out number the women three to one All dating coaches ignore external factors and blame the men You cant trust dating coaches......P.S ...Australia dating scene is very simular to all western cultures....
www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/
and I quote
"The growth in unpartnered adults has been sharper among men than women. In 1990, men and women ages 25 to 54 were equally likely to be unpartnered (29% of each group). By 2019, 39% of men were unpartnered, compared with 36% of women."
when you said 3 to 1 - did you in fact mean 3% more single men? Because Pew Research disagrees with you.