Ballerina Farm Controversy: Former LDS Trad Wife Weighs In
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- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- Hannah Neeleman, LDS trad wife and mom-fluencer for over 9 million collective followers is under high scrutiny from the world after an article in The Times, pulled back the veil from her seemingly perfect life. Journalist Megan Agnew wrote about her sneaking suspicion of secret oppression going on behind the scenes due to her impression of Hannah’s heavily lurking husband. Is Hannah, the pageant-winning, butter-churning, picture perfect mother of eight actually happy to have blown up her ballerina career at Juilliard for this exhausting lifestyle? Joined live today, former LDS trad wife and content creator. Jennie Gage, weighs in on her opinion of the matter.
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Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.*
When I was a teenager I ran off with the guitar player in a rock band. We both had bad home lives with alcoholism. We got married when I was 19 and he was 22 in 1974, this year is our 50th anniversary. We didn't have kids our first 7 years and partied instead. We have always given each other space and room to grow, we were always kind of hippies. We raised some really awesome kids that are so good to us. He put me through college when I was 42 and decided I wanted a science degree and to work in the medical field. Recently he nursed me through a two year cancer battle and never left my side. I know stories like mine rarely work out but ours did and we are so very lucky for what we have.
That's amazing. I'm so happy for you.
@@poodlegirl55 you go girl! I hope I have a relationship like yours 💜
Your story should be a movie ❤
#okboomer
That’s amazing
My sister-in-law’s father lost his mother because the doctor told her to not have kids anymore but the church told her to keep making kids and she died from it. 🤷🏻♀️ I find that so sad.
My great-grand-mother married a 42 years old man when she was 14, had 18 kids, 16 alive pushed on her by the Catholic church back in the days. One year, she just had twins and she didn’t get pregnant right away so the priest went to her house to tell her she was preventing family.
My father raised me to absolutely NOT embrace the trad wife life. He told me that you have to make a life for yourself and make sure that you can provide for yourself even and especially if you are a woman. My father (who would be 81 years if he was still here) was a feminist who pushed my mother to leave trad wife life and me to not embrace it and I am very thankful for him.
❤
You hit the lottery when it comes to dads.
@@lazy-gyal0077 thank you! I really think so and I still miss him greatly even if it’s going to be 9 years he passed in October. I was a lucky woman to have known him.
This is so heartbreaking to read
I love reading about dads who look out for their girls, and hopefully likely raise their boys right too
This is my official petition for “A Man is Not a Plan” shirts!
I'll definitely buy one!
I had a financial literacy teacher in jr high, and that was his slogan for us 💀 it is a very, very good wisdom!
On it!!
@@MorganGiselle I would have loved to have a teacher in jr high who promoted that! I knew very young that I never wanted to marry but I’m from a conservative area so there was no one really who taught me that that route was ok. So now I am 24 years happily divorced, single and thriving! But it took a dumb decision on my part to realize that middle school me and had it right all along! Lol
YAY!!! I love it!
My mom always told me, "Its ok to want a man. But you should never NEED a man". And I think that is such an important lesson to bestow on our daughters. Get an education, build a career and life experience. Have the ability to support yourself should you need to.
Even if you have the most loving husband and idyllic marriage, you never know what might happen. Your spouse could unexpectedly get sick, pass away, or be injured/disabled and unable to work and support the family. Then what? If you have no life skills or the ability to get a job - you and/or your family will suffer. Women should always have the ability to be independent, take care of themselves and make their own decisions.
She didn't need him, he reeled her in like a prize fish.
Yes
The biggest thing that stood out to men was when Daniel said, "we're co-CEOs." No! No, you're not!! She is an *unpaid* laborer who doesn't even own the company that she created!
What do you mean she doesn’t own the company? And how do you know she doesn’t get paid? She doesn’t look too bad for being an unpaid labourer. Somebody must be buying her clothes etc if she doesn’t have any money.
@@autumn5852 Her name is not on the documentation for the company/farm as a co-owner. Only Daniel's name.
Check out Jordan and McKay's vid about her if you're interested :)
So she's a trafficking victim.
She lacks control over the finances.
@@autumn5852 Her husband is sole owner of their company - her name isn't mentioned as co-owner.
Ok, just a little background, I am now 45, in a loving stable relationship and working on healing mentally. I was not raised as a mormon or iblp or in any religion or group that expected me to marry young however i married at 18. I had a baby and a divorce at 20, then a second marriage at 22 to a man with two kids and quickly had another baby, so 4 kids by 23, three of them under 4. I was divorced again by 25. I spent 3 years healing and being a single parent before meeting my permanent partner and have another child. I tried up until about 6 years ago to be the superwoman, mom, wife, house, cook, can, sew, garden, teacher, daughter.... etc. I crashed hard. I am now permanently disabled. I ignored my health and body for so long it gave out on me. Women need to know that even if they are physically capable, it is not healthy to ignore yourself and keep up that kind of pace. Please please please take care of yourself first so you are able to care for others as well.
Just because you weren't raised in misogynistic religion doesn't mean you don't still live in misogynistic society. Women get the same messages impressed upon them young whether they're raised in religion or not - marry young, sacrifice yourself to a man and to popping out (his) kids. Sacrifice of yourself in every way to try to be this "supermom" archetype - but none of that is for YOU, all of that is for husband or for children.
Even if you didn't have explicitly religious grooming, you still absorbed the societal conditioning and the marrying at 18 and having a kid then remarrying to a guy with other kids and having others with him...is proof of it. I am so glad you've seen now that it wasn't right to do to yourself; but please don't blame yourself at all, if you do. Women are conditioned SO hard and men keep up a constant effort to perpetuate it in a tremendous variety of ways.
What matters is you prioritize your health now, and keep that up. 💜
Take care of yourself first PERIOD.
I did the same, I did it all, even worked a job out of the house and a small business from home at the same time, on top of everything else. I think the excessive compulsive need to please came from trying to placate an abusive mother, as I kid I tried to please her by being the good kid, cooked, cleaned, got good grades, never got in trouble. Needless to say, none of that changed her behavior, but it locked in mine. It continued into marriage where I tried to please a narcissist husband, and you know how that worked out, it didn't. Like a hamster on a wheel, I just kept trying to reach that place where it all works and it's good and everyone's happy. Impossible. I too, now that I am free to do what I want, am limited by physical difficulties that I'm convinced result from years of never slowing down, never putting myself first. Please, whatever you do, please, take care of yourself, take time to breathe, enjoy, relax and if there are people in your life that deny you the freedom to do that, rethink the relationship, because YOU matter. 🌸
Wanted to send you hugs! I was such an “overachiever”. I’m still hoping I will heal, but I may have permanently injured myself by ignoring my physical and mental needs for so long. I thought I could…. Because I could…. Until I couldn’t.
There were signs, though. I just thought…. “I can’t do this all…” but as a single mama, I thought I had to. And I may have also permanently injured myself. It’s been about 2 years… I had to quit my job, without family I would have lost everything.
Health is the greatest privilege we don’t realize we have.
I HAVE to say - my heart broke for Jennie, when she admitted her 23 year old daughter said she just wished mom would've cuddled on the couch to watch Disney movies, and gotten them McDonalds. I'm a SAHM of twins and a young boy - I'm quite overwhelmed with motherhood most days. So snuggling on the couch watching Disney happens nearly every day, and McDonalds happens at least once weekly. I have a relentless, nagging voice in my mind that tries to guilt trip over these things, while logically I know it's absolutely fine. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for acknowledging that these things are ok. I'm not making gourmet meals from scratch and milking cows and having 8 babies without epidurals ... And that's not only 100% ok, it's actually GOOD.
Enjoy those babies!
A man is not a plan.....that's the new teeshirt!
❤❤❤❤❤
They didn't even want all that. They wanted McDonald's, and a present mom. They got handmade pasta, and an angry mom. This hits so hard right now.
Daniella Mestyanek Young (Children of God survivor and cult and group behaviour scholar) talks all the time about how cults use labour and constantly keeping you busy, so that you don't have the time or energy to leave the cult. 8 kids, a business, a farm, and home-cooked meals from scratch would never give you time to think for yourself and come up with a plan to leave.
This also stoped me in my tracks. I realized something with that statement.
Most moms aren't angry as stay at home moms when supported in a marriage by the husband.
@@sailing1stwatch True but that doesn’t mean that moms still don’t get frustrated or angry with certain situations and circumstances.
@InterwebUser-ps7ju No of course not. But villianizing Traditional stay at home moms is not what we're going to do ESPECIALLY in this scary crazy world. Our family units need protecting more than ever.
Back in the 80s, I attended a wedding for a young woman from a very traditional and religious group. After the ceremony, we were all chatting in the bathroom when the young woman arrived and after most of the women had left and it was just the two of us and her, she came up to us very scared and asked if we had any birth control pills because she really didn't want to get pregnant right after the honeymoon. We didn't have any because we didn't carry them in our purses. The short story is that the girl got pregnant soon after, followed by many more. Years later, after having several children, she left them all with her husband forever. She waited a gap between pregnancies to leave everything behind. This is a sad story, but true! She really did leave everything behind.
Every now and then the rich love to play poor, because poor people are such cute little things!
@@luzrim9495 yeah, and they they run circles around us. Survival is different from playing at homesteading.
They also base their branding, social media followings, and personas/content on "I'm relatable! I'm just like you! You can be just like me!" And then there's the ones who fake being "self-made".
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
Merp
Thank for watching
Thank you for your testimony. We need to hear the truth and the spell needs to be broken. Life is not a fairytale and you don’t live happily ever after when you marry. Sorry to be so negative but I was too innocent when I got married and was taken for a ride. Women need to be empowered.
They are not homesteaders and come from BILLIONS. It is all Cosplaying.
I heard that Ballerina Farms is registered only in her husband's name. She is the face of the farm but she's not on any of the financials, that seems exploitative.
It’s cuz in her religion, the man puts his name on the business.
It’s half of hers anyway so it doesn’t need to be in her name. In what way is it exploitative?
@@autumn5852 - Her husband is a billionaire who could take her to court for ages until she gives up. He may have a claim for it all in court just because he name is not on it.
It's not so simple. Are you familiar with Jennie's story? She left her marriage empty-handed, in spite of having always worked at the family business. Her ex hasn't even paid alimony. I am worried that marriage could give women a false sense of security. You might be entitled to much less than you think, or he might find ways to get away with giving you your rights.
@@tessaraenelson6051 she doesn’t look like she wants to leave him anyway, so I don’t think she’ll be too worried about that.
I’ve seen Ballerina Farms content. She is pretty open that she doesn’t do her scratch made meals for every single meal. I get the vibe she mostly does those types of meals for content only. I have seen other content creators who project an image they do all this homesteading, from scratch cooking and homeschooling of lots of kids and I personally don’t buy it. There’s not enough hours in the day to milk cows, mill flour, cook, bake, garden, clean the house, do laundry, film and edit content, AND homeschool on a daily basis. In addition I’ve watched several very devout women on UA-cam who ditched their educations to support their husbands and have large families. 10-15 years later they are divorced and struggling so much.
I come from post soviet country and I was tiny when we got back our independence. I remember there were rarely no ready made food or it was too expencive. My father had a farm, my mom worked but basically most things had to be cooked from a scratch. That also meant that we kids had to do the work as well as well father. It was never instabeutiful. It was hard work but doable. The trick is, it is not easy, it is not pretty and the hole family need to work constantly for the food.
She says this in an interview. She says she only does it for her videos, maybe once a week and it takes 5-6 hours.
She says she only cooks the fancy meals when she films them about once every two weeks. And in between they eat a lot of their bread and yogurt and easy to grab food. But she’s probably got at least one chef cooking all their daily meals. She also says they’ve got plenty of employees, including farm workers, a personal assistant and a teacher to home school the kids. I can’t remember what else she said but I don’t think she listed them all and why should she! She’s creating an image/a brand, so she’s not gonna be showing all the staff etc or revealing everything about their lives. And I think that’s pretty clear from the quality of the videos, they’re not your average UA-camr videos.
So why would it matter if she did??? Modern women don't see working a demanding 80 hour career as oppression but you do if it comes to being a mother/wife?! Or have a career and be a mom. I see it the other way around but I have enough respect not to be like oh you poor babyy you guys are so problematic, I'm so concerned..when they are insisting they are happy. Even tho a lot of modern women are doing this because they're pressured by modern feminist ideas. I'm not going to patronize them and put them on public blast, because thaf is messed up!!
@@Lilalalalalalllllabecause they’re faking it, basically telling lies to promote their ideology. People dislike it because it’s pure propaganda with some sort of agenda hidden behind. This is not healthy.
Hannah’s husband creeps me out. Their religion creeps me out.
It creeps me out too lol. That’s why I left.
It’s really weird
They all creep me out
Islam creeps me out
@@annjames1837 me too.
"PERFORMANCE FEMININITY" this is literally the only expression we need
That's a powerful tag line.
That's definitely what the Trad Wife movement is about.
No one has a problem with someone who wants to be a stay at home mom. No one has a problem with people who like gardending and cooking things from scratch and whatever else. I have no
Even when it comes to being submissive to a man, I mean if that's your thing and it truly makes you happy, you do you just don't try to force it ony anyone else!
The whole Trad Wife thing, though, is not just about not working and dedicating yourself fully to raising a family, or even just about being a "traditional" ie: submissive wife. It's about performative femininity on social media which implicitly says "I'm better than you because I don't need feminism, and therefore I have decided no one does!"
@@sandpiperr did my comment give you reason to believe that I wouldn't agree with you? Because that's not the case
@@heartgirl40 Um, no but I'm wondering what about my comment made you think that!
Because I was literally trying to agree with you!
So sorry (I guess?)
I read your response as an affirmation. But the biggest issue in online conversations is not assuming positive intent. Lots of people default to argumentative or negative tones when reading other people's text, especially people with anxiety.
Leaving the church at 37, and then really realizing how untrue it is has been so, so hard. I feel like I have to relearn who i am and what i believe. I feel bamboozled. I can absolutely say my anxiety came from trying so hard to be Mormon.
Congratulations on taking this difficult step ❤ I had similiar experience about my own anxieties, your comment reminds me of my emotional journey, and I hope that your anxiety will cease as much as mine has, which was very bad and is now ok 😅😊 anxiety is natural reaction, so it makes sense to rid ourselves of causes whenever possible ❤❤ take care
bamboozled is such a great way to say it. reminds me of alan watts :)
Hugs! It gets better!!
I hope you're doing alright, and enjoying the terrifying YET freeing truth! It's a wild transition, and you're going to be okay!
@KelseyDunlevy it's a double edged sword. I love it, but then the fear of my eternal fate tries to dig back in and it's this cycle of you're free, but wait ✋️. I think once I get my name off of the church records that maybe this mental back and forth will stop? But it terifies me. Haven't even really looked it up. But I know, that there is a God, and he loves me and my stupid choices. I was on IG and there was children's art and it said God's love cannot be earned and cannot be taken away. It helps. Thank you for your comment. Much love for you and your freedom.
I am a homesteader and often cook the way Hannah cooks. I do this because I WANT TO. I have no kids and just support myself and my wife at home. Even with very little pressure, I sometimes get so stressed out and need breaks. I can't IMAGINE doing all this with 8 kids. All while having a husband who can't buy her the gifts she wants or hire people to help her.
We are pretty poor and when we get extra money to make things easier, it goes to that! I.e. a mixer instead of kneading bread by hand.
I can't believe this woman's husband has SO MUCH MONEY and has his wife literally working like she has no other option.
If she wants to stay home and do this work, cool, support that by making it easier for her. Make it so she isn't in bed exhausted for a week.
I can't imagine having all that money and not helping my wife. That is incredibly sad and shows how little he thinks of her and how unappreciative he is of all she does.
Typical Mormon man. My father was similar, except he paid like 30% tithing do he could buy his First Counselor title within the Bishopric. We were always broke but he always enjoyed hunting and fishing with all the gear for 2-4 week long expeditions in other States. The hypocrisy was palpable
It’s probably part of her brand to do it the old school way, because doing the dough in a modern appliance would kill the vibe of this crafty traditional way of doing things and the beautiful wooden kitchen. I think that they have whatever she wants put away in a cub board when she is filming.
BF has admitted that she doesn’t cook from scratch all the time and mostly does it when filming for content.
She said they have lots of help, including farm workers, a personal assistant, a teacher to homeschool the kids. I can’t remember what else she said but I’m pretty sure she didn’t disclose all her staff and why should she 🤷🏻♀️ she said she doesn’t cook like that everyday either, only the days she films the cooking which is about once a fortnight apparently.
So she’s definitely got help and she would definitely need it.
I used to do a lot of homemade stuff like this. I’m very interested in health and liked doing it.
I’m still amazed my mother born in 1925 always raised me as “a man is not a plan”. She was also an atheist. Way before her time. Appreciate her so much now despite the fact I never knew her as an adult.
For all those saying that Megan Agnew (the author of the Times article about Ballerina Farms) wrote a retraction - no, she didn't. She wrote a follow-up article saying some of the things she wished she could've asked in the first interview and why she wanted to do the interview, as well as addressing some of the backlash the original interview got (and why she feels that makes the original interview all that more important). A retraction would mean an apology and a statement that the original article was in some way incorrect. Please work on your media literacy. And thank you, from a former aspiring tradwife (married at 19, first child at 20, divorce at 23) for this conversation.
Yes this. Absolutely.
she is a liberal single woman railed by multiple guys with her brains falling out ...that's how she wrote the article
How do you work on media literacy? Is there a course?
She definitely went onto that farm with an agenda, though. Carefully read her choice of wording and the time she chooses to ask certain questions. For another perspective on this story, check out Amala Ekpunobi.❤
When I was doing personal progress as a teenager, I decided to write music for my divine nature project. My young women’s leader told me that this was not appropriate because I had to do one of the already established projects, and I literally told her “there is nothing in my divine nature that makes me a housewife.” She ended up letting me write my music, and I ended up a doctor married to a doctor. Just turned 30, no kids. We met at church, are still active in the church but incredibly progressive and our ward is the most educated ward on the planet, I’m pretty sure. All the women and all the men have doctorates and work at Harvard and MIT. We know our divine nature 😘
“Sorry for what I said when I was in the trad wife cult”
Yes this comment right here 😂
I am also an atheist: I was brought up in a Catholic family, but with a Baptist father. Interestingly - my father was a "American Taliban" - so, oppression of women and children certainly made a straight line through all global cultures, including, from long ago, to unfortunately, until this very day...as well as across many societies.
I recall having a very heated argument with my father when I was ~ 11 or so, when he called me a lazy bum, etc. bc I thoughtfully said, that day, that I didn't want to have children, and possibly not get married. (I was beginning to make the connection between not having much money for anything, not having an education, nor opportunities - except to be some subvervient slave and my parents having children that they could not afford. My father didn't give a damn about that - all he cared about was being a boss at the head of a family - a total narcissist.)
..
Fascinating
"boss at the head of a family" that's my dad, too ... for men, the "husband is the head of the household" thing is a huge power trip for Christian men. And a family is kind've a status symbol for men, too.
Can also be a cover for a secret lifestyle. The kids and I were his cover. Very disturbing and traumatic when the truth reared its ugly head. Not at all projecting on to ballerina farm. I have never watched her channel and don’t plan to. Her husband could be very authentic and forthright. I hope so.
Even as a single woman and I deal with clients everyday and most often times it’s a housewives that tell me to stay single and never get married. It’s not even a single women or a cat/dog lady telling me this. It’s always trad wives who been married for years telling me this and are stressed constantly. And their husbands are unappreciative. I don’t believe those who encourage the “trad wife” lifestyle truly respect housewives especially until they speak up about their experiences that’s when they trash them and respect for mothers go out the window. It not even about motherhood for them it about women being eye candy and a maid for most men who look at “trad wives” trend. And not what’s best for their childrens. Even lifetakestwo said her children didn’t want her to do all the cooking from scratch and wanted her to spend time with them watching movies.
Reminds me of a movie from way back The Stepford Wives.
I’ve been saying the same thing. My mom became a trad-wife and it was never about us the kids. It was always about my dad, and how she could serve him. That’s why I never believe anyone who says being a trad-wife is for or benefits the kids. We mostly got the anger and frustration our mom couldn’t take out on our dad. This is a common story among trad-kids.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 agreed. Notice how many of these influencers who are “trad wives” are only about cooking for their husbands? And what many of husband and male viewers want. Never about spending time with their kids and what is best for children or teaching them? And how it’s important to be a mother but also fathers involved in their child’s upbringing. No they only care about gender roles.
Hannah doesn’t do cooking from scratch though, or so she says. She said she only does it on camera about once a fortnight. And she said she has a personal assistant, a teacher who homeschools the kids, farm workers and I can’t remember what else she said but it seems like they’ve got plenty of staff. I can’t imagine she does laundry or housework or even cooking.
And many found out their husbands wanted to be gone from the crying and visit brothels, strip clubs, massage HE parlors, and breastaurant lunches with the guys. They wanted family and lust lifestyles they trained each other to want and entitled to as man 😡
"Planned on turning you into a housewife." The lack of respect from this phrase!? As though you were his onject. I'm sorry this person treated you in that way.
Mormon boys feel that women are objects.
In high school, my Morman friend told me we all chose our parents. At that very moment, I knew the Morman religion was bs. I might not make he best choices, but I would not have chosen my parents
"my Morman friend told me we all chose our parents"
I was raised mormon but never a believer ...
We were told that in Sunday school when I was about 8 years old, and it was pretty much the nail in the coffin of any belief I might have been trying find in their BS.
It was the finial confirmation of what I had suspected all along, that it was all lies to manipulate us into doing exactly as we were told.
By time I was in high school and being forced to attend church 7 or 8 times a week, I had an enormous loathing for the obvious mormon self-serving lies and money grubbing.
I would like to talk about how she has to be in bed for a week from pure exhaustion. Where is that in the content?
Daniel is just the worse. I don’t know if she’s exhausted or depressed. Being in bed for weeks at a time is not healthy at all.
@@astridburke3616
Depressed and recovering from his beatings.
@@astridburke3616 I really liked the way the author wrote it. She showcased everything without saying “gods this man is the worst.” Jordan and Mkay did a great breakdown of the article. She says the week in bed thing like “that’s normal”. And she talks about asking him for a small corner of the barn for ballet and he turned it into a school for her to teach the kids instead. One. Corner. Of. The. Billionaires. Barn.
They can’t show you that.
Homesteading/ hobby farm is hard work and impossible to make a living at it unless you become a you-tuber. Speak from experience!
@@galejohnson8086 absolutely, just a cosplay poor working class project of two ultra wealthy heirs/content creators, none of this would be possible without the preexisting money 😂.
@@Lock484 i was going to mention the wealth as well. Those UA-cam trad wives are very wealthy and have a horde of people working for them in the background. It's highly performative and removed from reality. And yet people think it's real.
@@giwilreker 💯. There's a team behind this
Or a billionaire! He's a fucking billionaire!
yeah I was an off grid homesteader for a while with a violent husband who wouldn't even haul water for me and the baby sometimes so I would have to trek down a two mile long mountain drive way to the water source with the five gallon water containers in a wagon with my little one.
I just found out about her like an hour ago and thought "man, i wish shelise would talk about this, but i guess she'd have to escape first!"
I pray she can escape 🙏
She read your mind lol
"Wife immersion program..." Wow! Well spoken.
I hate this idea that "its your choice". Is it? Is it my choice or is someone holding a 🔫 full of hellfire in it to my head? Is it my choice when I have literally been brainwashed to think this was my only option since BIRTH? People who think like this I just have one question for you, is it fun to choose to be that huge of a douche bag or was it just the easy choice?
We are not idiots we still have brains Im not worried for my soul I feel I'm really normal. I could leave the LDS church any day and nobody would knock on my door. It's really that simple.
@@stacy6994 typical abuser talk: "the door is right there if you dont like it!". You're comment is bs. not to pull the scots fallacy, but a large part of LDS is the belief that you will reap HUGE benefits from following the practice faithfully and receive negative consequences when you die if you dont. Do Mormons not believe you'll literally rule your own planet with your spouse(s)? Or are you just not a Mormon?
Either youre very secure in the fact you think you aren't a sinner, or you dont truly believe in the religion they are preaching if you're not concerned about it....
I never implied these people were idiots, just sheltered, lied to, and actively manipulated by other people, especially the ones they loved and trusted.
Or are you telling me you genuinely believe god made you, made you for this specific purpose, and youre going to spit in your own God's face? Im an Atheist, so I dont care but i think your fellow LDS church goers would probably be concerned for your immortal soul....
@@stacy6994
If any of that's is true for you Stacy, then you were not 'raised mormon' the way I was.
It was obedience, Obedience, OBEDIENCE.
I may have had a brain, but if my father had ever suspected I had a thought that he didn't agree with 100%, I think he would have killed me.
WE DIDN'T ALL GET TO MAKE CHOICES.
OMG I couldn’t think of better people to talk about this than you & Jordan/McKay’s video. I think some people are missing the overarching place that this has come from- Mormonism. Just starting but can’t wait to hear it. The article was flawless. The way she illustrated things with words without ever outright saying it… we need more journalists like her!!!
I agree!! ❤
I’ve never heard of these people before, but I noticed it being commented on Twitter and looked it up. First - ugh, Mormons 🤷♀️
I have two problems here - first, if her plan was to marry and become traditional wife, why did she pursue a career in ballet? She literally took the spot of some other girl that probably worked her entire life to get into that program, only to lose it for a girl that quit a year later and became a tradwife.
Ballet is an Olympics-level athleticism dressed as art. It’s hard and competitive. She just messed up some other girl hopes and dreams.
Second - if she really wanted to pursue a career in ballet, she could’ve postponed pregnancy with a few years. Ballerinas retire VERY early. She could’ve perused her career and still had a bunch of kids after 25-26.
This is crazy.
Great points, but another Mormon commentator said maybe her ballerina 🩰 plans were just a stopgap until she found her husband. Sad, but that’s the “Mormon way.”
Another fun fact: queen Victoria wore white to her wedding and it sparked the women wearing theirs in white as well. I think it happened with Mary Stuart as well. Influencers.
We’ve had trad wife influencers for a long time
Yes, we’ve had triad wives for a long time, but there has been a big push in the conservative thinking that is pushing for these outdated ways of thinking that women should be. Look at project 2025. This conservative movement is really scary. I have seen from other, former Mormons that the LDS church is paying for women like her that are pushing this trad wife way of life. That’s why she has such a big following.
A rule of thumb with influencers is "Don't trust what you can see" as anyone should know that it is a well constructed facade.
If it looks too perfect, it usually is.
People know that UA-cam videos are basically just a way to advertise products. Nobody thinks they’re real or reflecting real life.
Well, I know some people believe that what they see on the tv etc is real, but they’re not harming anyone are they? They can’t help it if they’re not very intelligent and so what if they think it’s all real.
And especially with this family. Nobody with half a brain will think anything about those videos is real, lol. Farmers don’t look that glamorous.
When I hear 'Trad Wife', I tend to assume its actually short for 'Tread On Me Wife'.
“Don’t tread on me while I’m treading on my wife, kids and the whole damn country!”
..have you ever talked to a trad wife?
God bless America y’all are fucking disconnected.
@@BlueRadley-o0o0o You're full of it. Do or don't do it, live how you want. Just quit pretending you speak for women you don't know and don't talk to.
@@llars1559 friend, you might want to look up the terms “self-gaslighting” and “internalized misogyny.” HAGD and good luck to you. ✌️
Ballerina Farm is the Marie Antoinette of 2024. Royalty playing at farmsteading.
My oma would be considered trad wife. Stay at home mum taking care of kids and house, and family business. BF reminds me of that BUT my oma/grandma was LEGALLY acknowledged as an actual CEO of the family business. In case something happened to grandpa at
Least she would have some income. She had only 4 grades of elementary school finished. Her family was too poor. But always kept a big library and educated herself as much as possible. Her main sentence was : study, finish the school and be your own woman. Do not depend on a man. Love her to bits.
And unless you are written as a CEO you are NOT a CEO. So no, they are not co-CEOs. He is bull**** her.
my grandpa was a real rancher and i find it odd the Daniel is always so clean! real ranchers aren’t looking like they stepped out of the shower at all times lol
So if she dresses "normal" when off camera, is she really living the life that she is portraying? Are they ordering pizza and eating 'regular' food in reality and the whole thing is just a performance?
I am so glad exmo spaces are stepping up to correct that there is No choice to be a good mormon woman.
On top of the loan for the farm land there’s everything ON it. The milking robots are $250,000 & they have TWO. Then all the animals, the dairy farm barn, 8 kids, etc.
He is wealthy, they have no loan and lot of employees.. it is just mirage for social media 😅
I am a chef, and it it absolutely impossible for a person to make croissants like the ones in the stores by a person on their first time.
I too have been closed to my grandchildren and it is impossible too to cook, home school and be with your children, in the 12 hours of the day they are awsake.
I teach people to cook healthy and quick, but a mom of even 1 child is very hard, even to go out and shop for the food.!!!
“I wanted McDonalds & a mom” 😭 that’s so deep, actually. My partner and I are doing IVF rn and I’m already in a spiral of, I have to ship in non-toxic soil to grow my own greens kind of thing (even though I don’t garden 😂). But you want so bad to get momming right! This interview brought me all the way back to earth/thank you so much.
I resorted to a potted garden for the same reasons. Hugs!
Good luck with the IVF!! Don't stress yourself out too much hun, if you're a mum and trying your best, chances are you're the best mum for your child. I'd suggest getting massages and spa days and maybe investing in therapy, a relaxed body and mind and a healed soul are gonna be more helpful conceiving and parenting than any lettuce can be. ❤
@@isihosena635 Thanks so, so much ❤️
@@bewitched3912 that’s a great idea!
@@nachosisterwife I'm growing white peaches from a grocery store peach pit outside and a pineapple and date palms from grocery store produce indoors for tropical greenery unavailable otherwise! Only grow what you like and above all, have fun! I suggest growing nasturtium and marigolds in the contaminated soil because they grow fast and are a pretty ground cover
I got married the first time 5 days after I turned 18....not for love but to get out of an abusive family dynamic....it lasted 3 years and at the end I couldn't have children due to his abuse
I am so, so sorry you went through that. Hope things have gotten better for you.
@@melanieahrens6739 it left me with PTSD and not able to have children. I fell into the pattern of finding another abuser/narcissist....but 4 years ago I found a great guy and I finally know what love feels like.
I am so sorry you went through that. So glad you're doing well now. ❤
@@holeika Thank You for the courage to share all that. So glad you’ve broken the cycle and been able to find happiness.
I’m so so sorry. Hope your life got happier my friend.
Literally stalked her onto a plane. That's soooooo obscenely terrifying.
It depends on perspective. Without my husband wanting to be around me or in the same space as me, I wouldn't have known he liked me at all. Now, in her situation, if she truly felt uncomfortable, she could have told a flight attendant that this guy is making her scared, etc. Did she, no. People are jumping to conclusions here.
Stalking for Love is a great video from Pop Culture Detective on UA-cam
@@BeautifulEarthJa thanks for the rec! I'm stripping wallpaper today so I'll be listening to that.
I had good experiences with my kids, cooking with them and doing, as much as possible, 20 or 30-minute recipes. It is sad that the kitchen separated you from your kids instead of joining you through a fun activity. I have also seen how the dedication of hours to the kitchen leaves everybody bummed out and stressed.
Yeah, unless cooking from scratch is like a passion for you and you really love it (I kinda do 👀), but even then, sacrificing a valuable family time just to knead sourdough or whatever 🙄😂, that's sad, and feeling like you HAVE TO do that, otherwise you're a 💩 wife, that's even more sad and exploitative 😭
There are plenty of machinery to make dough and plenty of quick meals. Plus those famous and rich youtubers have assistance. Nothing to worry about for them, each of us has to make our own choices based on knowledge.
Excellent points. Thx for watching.
Why do people always conflate being a stay at home wife with being submissive. These two are very different things. You can be a stay at home wife and be the dominant one in a relationship
I think the problem is that when you are an stay at home wife you typically are not financially independent, but you depend on your husband money, and that for me is the real problem, cause then the decisions you make are not freely taken. But you are right, stay at home and submissive are not the same thing.
@@marials9245my husband puts his paycheck into my account and I pay everything. I am only staying at home now bc the kids are so little why would I work to just pay day care. I was making more money than my husband the first part of our marriage but now he has gone up some in his career. I actually do wish I had our kids (I have a 14 year old daughter from before my husband) younger. It's so much easier on your body and you have more energy. Being 39 and having a baby and a toddler is very hard. I am planning to start taking online classes soon and get my masters. Anyway you and your husband are suppose to be a team one of you may get sick and have to depend on the other. Yes I depend on my husband right now to make all the money for the home and it's hard bc he doesn't make that much. It doesn't last forever though the kids won't be small forever.
It depends on the situation and the partner. My parents are still together, but there was a point when all three of us kids were thinking “WHY”. Now they’re happy in their 60s, but until about 9 or 10 I almost never saw him. He wanted to build something for the family and he has NO sense of work/life boundaries. So my mom felt like a single mom many times when we were little…when she needed help the most. My own relationship with them both, but especially him, was very rocky in my teen years. I love having the relationship with my parents as an adult now, because so many things make sense at this point. We’re able to have these conversations because they’ve finally had them with each other…without the yelling. He was raised with a very submissive mother (who was actually married at close to 30…very very old in the 40s.::but was a secretary to her future husband, and lived with her sister, both independent, so I’ve just assumed it was her nature since on paper she wouldn’t seem the type). She was a chronic people pleaser, but I do think she took joy in being the homemaker. At the same time, we saw her being a doormat. Often. My dad didn’t ever believe women SHOULD submit to husbands, but I doubt he realized that he grew up with that as the model. My mom’s parents both worked, shared all household responsibilities, and her mother did NOT believe in relying on a man, even though their relationship is as close to the Notebook as it can get. They were my own future goal…I’m about to be 38, and would rather hope to find a partnership like that than settle. Her parents were a dentist and a teacher. They met young and could easily have been a silver screen couple they were so good looking. She had NO shortage of suitors. But she made him wait until her late twenties…again, interesting for that time period.
My dad would do things like assume she was going to cook from scratch or something when she had three kids under 5, not because that was his right, but because it was how he grew up. That becomes our default normal, how we grow up, even when it’s not “normal”. And he pressured himself a LOT to be the provider. They both wanted more for us than they had (although mom did have a nice middle class upbringing…dad didn’t). That’s why I never saw him as a kid…he was an associate and even when he first made partner his goal was to have the most billable hours. I’m pretty sure he still does and he’s closer to 70 than 60. His motivations were pure, even if he didn’t understand why it bothered us.
They figured it out once he was home more and she demanded he stop being married to the job instead of her. Now they’re absolutely adorable in their 60s…he’s not retired, we’re pushing him to, but she is and is HEAVILY into volunteering. I’ve never seen their relationship look this good. They were high school sweethearts but waited to marry until she finished college, while he was in law school. So SOMETIMES that stuff does work out. Most of us have some trash HS bf like I did, but hey, it’s possible.
I think the reason she didn’t feel trapped was because like him, she had a masters degree and she had taught upper elementary until I was born. So it would be insane (I am a childless teacher and have no idea how the ones with kids do it), but she could have found a job. Not one that paid much, but in the public system she’d have had good insurance for us and a pension. He knew she COULD leave and so did she. I think, weirdly, that’s what kept them together. The fact that either could be independent of the other. And they may have passed the temper down to me, but I wholeheartedly believe neither would have used us to hurt the other. So it was always an option…not one either wanted, but it was. They weren’t trapped.
It comes down to being trapped. When the only option seems to be extreme poverty while fighting for custody of kids. That’s not the ONLY option, but for many people it’s the only achievable one. I can’t imagine how terrifying it is when your kids are on the line and the man has the money and connections to potentially take them away. Even the threat is enough to keep them trapped. If you get them young, before they’ve fully finished education or even had a job, get them pregnant immediately…then what? I don’t know that I would be strong enough to fight back in that situation. I respect all those, mostly women, although men can be abused as well, that were strong enough to leave.
@@PetThePeeves have you never heard about the situation where the man hadsa job and makes the money but gives the paycheck to the wife? In most traditional European marriages the wife held the purse strings. She may not have worked outside the home, buy she was the one controlling the finances. That didn't make her feel trapped. That gave her power. That's why she was not submissive. A woman should never be submissive. Why should finances decide how dominant or submissive you are? This is not a bdsm game.
@@daenerysmax6267It’s weird you should say this, because my husband of 40 years has always said that it’s all mine (meaning me). I wanted and have been a homemaker, not a housewife!, but he says all the money he traditional went out to work and made, was mine!! I know this is not the norm, but for me it has been for the 40 years we’ve been married.
This just makes women feel like they don’t measure up as a wife a mother.
well, I personally don't measure up to her. I don't have 8 kids, I don't have a clue how to take care of animals, how to m make fancy home cooked meals, I don't wake up at 5am to do physical exercises, I don't look thin and in shape.. I barely hold it together with 2 kids and a part-time job, so yes, I do not compare to women who do so much more than me. People should know their place rather than shame others for doing better.
@@pianorelaxingmusics
... and you probably don't have the privilege of staying in bed for the whole week when you feel exhausted, like the article mentions that she does.
You know all those kids are not on their own when that happens.
Thank you both. This is one of the more nuanced and considered commentary on BF that I have seen so far. I agree that it is important to have 'these conversations', especially when done sensitively. Shelise, I hope you will do more commentary-based episodes like this in the future as I think it will be good for the channel and you are great at facilitating these kinds of discussions.
Hannah is in danger or flat out lying and making fake content.
Because of the PERFECT [IMAGE] and PERFECT [STORY] she tells, I think it's both.
#FakeSmiles to survive.
Every abused woman knows how these stories go. I pray she has a safe escape 🙏
Ballerina Farm is the illusion of choice, personified
He wanted a beautiful bird, so he could clip her wings, and keep her in a cage.
Thank you for continuing to give a platform to share abusive situations in a kind, non-exploiting way.
Or maybe you just want everyone to be a victim
@@stacy6994 Nope. Just aware and empowered to AVOID being a victim. I'm a survivor of SA, and I take advocacy seriously.
Where are you guys getting that she is abused? Because she chooses a traditional lifestyle??! Shame on you! If you knew their marriage for real and it was a healthy happy marriage you would be ashamed. It is unbelievable how so many of you ladies feel so entitled to make sweeping slanderous assumptions about fellow women just because you personally don't relate to their lifestyle choices! Or because you have a chip on your shoulder from a warped cult experience.
@@Lilalalalalallllla
If you've ever been mormon, you've had 'a warped cult experience.'
You just may not know it yet.
And "Yes, I definitely have a chip on my shoulder from what was done to me by that particular 'warped cult.' "
I missed the 1st 2 minutes. I'm 65 atheist since 12. I loved your description of IF there was heaven/God thanks ! I will use that when asked ✌️it's helpful
I love your open mindedness ❤
As someone who is part of a trad community (but I’m a slight outsider because I actually work full-time and send my child to daycare), I can say that many women DO choose this life and thoroughly enjoy it. On the flip side, men in this community DO also expect this of women, and will use examples like Ballerina Farm to point at their wives and ask why they can’t do the same
I think everyone has the right to express themselves however way they want to, but to portray a life as easy or beautiful when it is actually very very hard (as evidenced by Hannah admitting herself in that one article what real life looks like) is a huge detriment to tens of thousands of women, and even men. It’s a detriment to children and families as well. False expectations left and right on top of the added pressure to everyone-those watching, those creating-to keep up
This right here 🙌🙏
Judging other women is a huge detriment!! All she is doing is posting beautiful aspects of her life like a normal person!!! You are assuming it's so hard for her, not everything is as hard for the next person. Having a career would be hard for me. CONDEMNING her when she's a lovely peaceful honorable person is SICK.
The major 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩word I keep hearing is PERFECT.
That word, that perfect image let's you know something is off STAT.
I’m asking with respect. Why do we need to replenish the Earth if this is the last generation?
Better question, why is there not enough affordable housing if the government and religion wants women to produce more children and where are those kids going to live once they're adults?? Either provide good job opportunities and affordable housing or expect women to say no. They shouldn't suffer financially if everyone is expecting her to put her own life on the line to create more workers and tithing payers. No mention of the quality of life for women and girls.
Good point, if the end times are coming, why have more children. 💯
"It's her choice" but if you've been told since you were a child that this is what your purpose is, is it really a free choice?
This is mildly off topic, but I just had a baby 2 months ago. Huge props to you for literally getting anything done as a new mom. I am in awe that you were able to keep the channel up and going post birth. You're a champ! I think people may not know how physically and emotionally challenging it is to have a new person, even with some help in the home.
Same here. Our baby keeps me up every single night and the rest of the day I’m going in zombie mode
I was a single mum with only one child but I was young so it wasn’t challenging for me, but I didn’t work as well. So I wouldn’t be able to do what Shelise is doing, she’s doing brilliantly.
I went over to her train blog, which I’m surprised she hasn’t hidden because it completely contradicts her present reality. I briefly scanned over the years of posts and they are MUCH more humanistic. They paint her as a real person, with struggles. You watch her present day social media and she’s barely smiling. Completely cult like behavior if you research them enough, I can understand why she will defend it because she was conditioned into it and also in my opinion completely gaslit by her faith and Daniel. He comes off in his initial pursuit as predatory. She had some posts originally about dance, it’s sad to see she let that go. To be honest, Daniel seems to be the only one really “living the dream” I read the NY article, and it is so creepy to have it stated that he wouldn’t let her alone. Then they, come off like the times somehow targeted them? Like get real, the times did a piece of what was apparent, if you had nothing to hide they wouldn’t have anything to write. Not to mention I read a statement that said that Daniel states that she gets so exhausted sometimes she sleeps for a week, then it’s just a photo of him smiling. EERIE, unhealthy to say the least. It is not humane or logical to be living this life without full blown exhaustion. Not to mention. As you stated, you can hear the children in the background PLAYING BY THEMSELVES. They aren’t having quality times, and the “grooming” of the female kids who can now make dandelion drinks from scratch. WEIRD. Feminist or not, kids aren’t just going into the fields and coming back to compress flowers into some modern age fake farm lifestyle. lol, living on a farm, foraging is cool. But this isn’t the reality for these kids. They are being breed into the lifestyle without consent and to believe this is NORMAL, when it’s not. It takes away from the innocence of childhood. I learned to cook as a kid, but it was simple, cute things not broadcasted vegan butter made from hand, after shifting wheat for hours. It seems inhumane in some ways to me. And the lack of internet, how they watch “little house on the prairie” like… wow that isn’t completely inaccurate to modern times. Lastly there was a comment where she said “oh Daniel said, I can go dance if I want to dance” we all know he threw her that bone but likely followed it up with some type of unconscious act of manipulation- well go dance but…. Of even the fact he gives her a choice when in reality she feels like she has an obligation to that counteract that choice, making him appear the caring one when really he just pulls the strings really well. (ME -Cult guru, 2 degrees in human services, history, activism, civil rights - masters student in social justice) LOVE YOUR CHANNEL!
I have followed Hannah on Instagram for many years. She often has cold sores around her lips and sometimes shares, ‘I get cold sores when I’m stressed.’ This happens a lot.
Regardless of how she chooses to live her life, it is SO sad that she clearly is and has been stressed frequently and for a very long time.
It was news (but not surprising) to now hear that she needs to be in bed for a week at a time to try to be okay.
I’m very concerned for her and hope she can find a way to adjust and be okay - for herself first - it effects her whole family.
Hannah's husband is the son of a founder of several airlines. Her husband's worth is $400 million dollars.
No his father is. And everyone knows this
@@nwalden5744I didn't know that 😮
@@nwalden5744right
That’s her father in laws worth. Families last reported net worth before BF was only $6 million at age 30.
@@lifetaketwo7662paupers then if they’re only worth 6 million, no wonder they’re on UA-cam, they definitely need the money
The angry Mormons paying $10 to tell you to stfu is my fave part. Sounds like you hit a nerve 😂
😂
My heart leapt when I saw Jenny come on to chat about this topic!! ❤ 💫 ✨
I have zero in common with Hannah other than being a former ballerina that also trained at very high level. The amount of time and work that she put into achieving Juilliard to end up married, pregnant and having to leaving is absolutely insane. Then again she married into a Billionaire family so life’s perfect for her now or so it seems.
He isn’t a billionaire. And I agree
She's so indoctrinated in her role that she cannot see beyond it unless she's willing to. I think Hannah is okay with her role (for now) until something life-changing happens to her.
I would give up being a ballerina from julliard to being a married woman with 8 children in a heartbeat. Ballerina life is short lived and very hard on the body. The fact that you think some shitty degree from an overhyped university is worth more than the lives she brought into the world and the skills she has as a human is astonishing. No wonder so many women are so unhappy and unsatisfied. Surely you would have praised her if she was 40, got railed by 100 guys in her lifetime but had her fancy degree.
So judgmental. Just because it's not your dream doesn't mean it's not hers! It's mine. What a narcissistic view you ladies have.
My paternal great grandmother was Anglican and pre WW1 had 17 children. My maternal great grandmother had 13 children. The next generations had fewer kids 1-5 each at most. Now my generation have had 0-3 kids.
Yeahhhh, good
😢there’s nothing better than a big family. But I’m sure you’ve still got plenty of extended family.
@@autumn5852 too many to know or even be in contact with. Smaller can mean more intimate.
My mom was the 2nd of 9. Her mom didn’t want 9 but they were Catholic in it was the 50s/60s. My had 1 more than she had planned (4). Of my grandma’s 21 grandchildren, it’s mostly 2 kids with a couple of threes and a couple of onlies. Nobody raised in that big family wanted to recreate that.
I think you are right to point out how nuanced all of this is Shelise.
I grew up with a mom who couldn’t leave her husband, and therefore stayed the traditional wife and ran the business. Her mom was in the same boat with a slightly more emotional abusive man than even my dad was. And if there’s one thing I learned is always have a plan because there’s nothing wrong with having a partnership, but these wives are displaying an unrealistic view of what being a wife and mother to all those kids really are it’s not real life. It’s not being honest and authentic. It’s the woman who will bear the brunt if anything goes wrong.
I think the bit about the necessity of having these conversations is so incredibly important. Open, transparent dialogue and information is one of the greatest tools for helping keep any radicalization at bay regardless of which side it's on.
I did want to add one more point to the appealing image Hannah's lifestyle creates: a LOT of career women working multiple jobs are struggling right now to even make ends meet. All of their time is going towards jobs that aren't paying them living wages in today's economy. Home ownership as a single person? Forget it in most places. Time to cook when we really want to? It's sometimes there and sometimes not. I'm not beyond throwing myself under the bus when I say I fully get the appeal of being a stay-at-home wife/mom in comparison and actually having the time and energy to take care of what we don't necessarily have time to do during the day. There's value in that "simplicity" (even if it's not real) and in having something to show for your work instead of having an entire paycheck eaten by rent and necessities.
It honestly wouldn't surprise me if some women would find her life preferable, but there absolutely has to be a boundary there. Once agency is stripped from a person, it's very hard to get back (including in the career field). This lifestyle isn't achievable for most even if it is fully a choice.
Honestly, I think it's all an unfortunate combination: a lot of women wishing for what they see as more freedom and a better life when that's not necessarily the reality of it at all. I've even found myself envying it from other bloggers even though I know better.
It's a hard topic all the way around. Choice matters. Informed choices matter. Open, transparent dialogue regardless of who it comes from matters.
I wish everyone had genuine choices in their lives.
I love your nuanced, open minded and thoughtful comments!❤️
As a clinical child and adolescent therapist, in many cases the children to young parents suffer since you end up with "kids" raising children. The children live with these emotional scars for the rest of their lives (not necessarily abuse-more about lacking mature to know how to meet the emotional needs of the babies and young children.)
That is a pretty broad base statement. I was married at 16. Had my first at 17 2nd at 20 as did a lot of my friends. My son's are doing very well as are my friends kids. None have suffered in anyway. So a better statement would have been SOME children and adolescents have been impacted by having young parents. Oh and I went to Uni and worked in your field but learnt not to bring biases to the counselling table.
@@ghighiannemorrison4922 If you reread my comment you will see that I clearly stated "in many case."
It's obvious Hannah is mature. I had an emotionally absuive therapist who was like 60 who was more immature than her🙄 I was more mature as a child than a lot of modern women are
The super chat lady is wrong though…. The main character of this show has already admitted that what she does isn’t a reality and that they don’t eat every meal like that… and they aren’t some regular farmers, they have a lot of assistance and money that your average family just doesn’t have. Nvm that her husband is an heir to blue jet family! This is such an important episode. Thank you! 💐💐💐
Thank you so much for having this conversation. Gorgeous and thoughtful.
It's sad that women in alleged Christian homes don't know that Proverbs 31 is too woke for most American Christian & Christian adjacent doctrines. But that also, having rights to the property, having employees, and having rights to have their own businesses as laid out in Proverbs 31 - is the TRADITIONAL WIFE.
What does woke mean and are you saying this woman is a traditional wife, because she has property, employees and a business?
really wondsderful perspective i one that has definitely been missing from other social media conversations I've seen I am really grateful to you both for this conversation. I look forward to learning more about Jennie's story
I don't feel this is special to Mormonism, or the trad wife movement. Most internet content (of any kind) is curated to only show the perfect situation, and angles, and people in the best light with their perfect smile on. Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows it's all for show and that it's not real. The scariest thing is how many people buy into it and think it's real.
People have the right to chose their own journey.
AND they should be RESPECTED.
Wow I was raised missionary baptist and we didn’t have any books 📖 on being a stay at home mom, but my step mom raised me to only know just this! We had to learn how to cook, clean, sew, I had to take care if my sisters, run errands… so when I became an adult it’s all I knew how to do! I literally have no idea on how to function as an independent woman inside of my marriage. Both men I ended up marrying needed me to be a mom for them I think? Like they just choose not to do certain things so I do them bc someone has to?
My late husband was born in the late 1940's to a Missionary Baptist family but his mother was a brilliant, strong High School Science teacher who taught all her sons to do all the tasks your mother taught you and to respect women. His dad had great respect for her. She actually started the very first after school sex education program in San Pablo, CA in the 50's. And my husband turned out wonderfully. I wish I had met her.
This was Interesting! Thank you Shelise, Jenny and Jonathan ❤
Thx for watching ❤
I married at 19. Still married 23 years later. It worked out for me. I am so happy with my choices. That being said, I would not suggest this to be the norm.
The blonde woman was married for 24 years before she caught her husband cheating on her. So yea ....
@@kittygirl_thetortie498 Sorry, I fail to see the connection.
@@TheGoddessvestalol
I am sorry women are going (and have gone) through this so long but I love seeing y’all support each other and be happy
SOME WOMEN LOVE IT.
Oh no.
She’s still a baby!!! I see 22 year olds and I’m like no…don’t do it. Wait a bit. Please wait!!!!! To get married. I was at 24 MY choice! Baby at 28 MY choice
…
I’m 43 … but look like in 33 and feel like I’m 23…
Still deconstructing !!! This is why I don’t have any social media! Except YT
I am so grateful I come from very NON traditional women. My Maternal Grandma put in her HS yearbook, that stated when I graduate I want to be a housewife. Well, she married my Grandpa who was a cop. Had my Aunt, Uncle and Mom. Then in 1964 she sued the city of Yonkers, NY and became one if the first female police officers. By the 1980's she was a living legend and decorated narc detective
This turned out really great. Looking forward to your next episode together.
My husband & I were married at 20 & 21 & are approaching our 11th anniversary. BUT, that's what WE wanted. We weren't pressured into anything. We're both open to each other exploring our individual interests. He worked full time while I finished college & worked part time. We dated for almost 4 years before we got married & another almost 3 before I got pregnant. I think it's important to take time to get to know one another & explore your interests together & separately, especially if you do decide to marry young.
Also, while doing marriage counseling leading up to our wedding, our workbook discussed our obligation to reproduce. Our pastor explicitly told us that he didn't feel this was a requirement by God & that we needed to decide that among the 2 of us. We need more pastors like him, IMO!
I am a SAHM to three kids under 5. Pregnant with 4th. We do it because we can’t afford or don’t want to send our kids to daycare.
The livestyle should never be pushed on someone. It should be a choice.
As no I don’t have to clock into work every day but my jobs a 24/7 with no breaks.
I’ve been the full time worker while my husband worked part time and that was actually easier than being a stay at home mom.
A choice. Nuff said
Easier for you
@@Lilalalalalallllla yes because when I work I get time away from the kids and I get a break. I am not in mom mode 24/7 and I get to interact with other adults. I don’t have to do a million things at once.
So yes, for me personally, I found being a working mom easier…
I did it for 10 months before I got laid off after my second was born.
I love Jennie and her story and her strength. So inspiring ❤🎉
Hana never pretended to just be a lil o farm woman who stays in the kitchen. You literally see her putting on makeup, getting her hair done, participating in beauty pageants. They put whatever they want online, why do they have to post what YOU want to know about their lives? This is insanity...
I enjoyed this episode so much! The parallel to Marie Antoinette at the end... amazing 👏
Omg I feel weird. My first live on this channel (I found you through mormon stories) and you put my comment up in the video... is it odd to feel embarrassed but happy? I do believe this women us amazing and I started looking at her insta and CAN not wait for the full interview... PLEASE!! WE NEED IT! LOL. But a man is not a plan tshirt... I love and want
THIS IS A CULTURAL LIFESTYLE!
I grew up in the town over from where Hannah/Daniel and her family live!
We were raised as women differently. We were taught from a young age:
💮 to take care of yourself and your health
💮 to cook, to clean, to sew
💮 how to garden, hunt and fish
💮 to take care if your property, pets, and vehicles
💮 to be family oriented and have valued: integrity, honestly, morals, ethics, bravery, discipline, being faithful and FAITH in the church. *I am not Norman but I get up in a small town Mormon community like the trad wife’s back ground. I went to weddings in high-school mostly every one I knew was married before 25 and most are still married almost 2 decades later. You pretty much are supposed to grow up with your husband and combine the two families.
💮 your appearance and home is a reflection of your “togetherness” and it is what you show the outside world the way you present yourself is a reflection of you representing your family
💮 we were raised to be trad wife’s
💮 in school we learned cursive because ever important document ever wrote is in cursive and you must not be deceived by ignorance, we learned at home in the community and at school how to cook clean sew and be a future wife, we also learned law enforcement how to interact with the police know your rights and the constitution
💮 we learned how to can crops and how to make things from scratch the importance of food and showing love through food is taught to us
💮 we learned how to coexist in a marriage and rules of marriage
💮 we learned how to be organized, to always write in a diary, to have a day planner and idle time is wasted time, to be a couch potato is seen as failing the needs of teaching and raising your family, we are told our work is never done and how to balance a busy lifestyle
💮 we are taught how to coupon how to budget and how to read the boxes on product
💮 we are taught to respect our husbands they sit at the head of the table and they have the final word in the house.
💮 children are taught reverence and to be respectful look at people when they talk apologize and not have your phone out when at dinner or someone speaking to you
💮 we would have family nights and family dinners and actually talk to one another
💮 girls are taught modestly and from a young age to wait on men serve their brothers plates and wife training starts immediately
💮boys are taught how to be young men construction how to provide for their families responsibilities hunting fishing camping farming how to tie knots etc
💮 you are taught how to problem solve and respect as well as listen to your elders
💮we are taught community service and to be selfless in volunteering
There is a lot of stress to be perfect and we are raised this way and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH UTAH CULTURE . So long as no one is getting hurt and this is how they want to live.
I LOVVVVVEEED BEING A TRAD WIFE I LOVED BEING MARRIED (17yrs out of high school) the divorce is so unrelated to me as a wife or him as a husband our situation is VERY different however I loved providing and working for MY husband and family. I was not Mormon just raised this way and it was normal to my family who moved there because we are Russian decent and being a good partner and wife married to a good husband and man you want to have that kind of good life tradition works for those who understand and respect it but more then anything enjoy it they want to live that life. I’d give anything to have my old life back with my husband and family. To find a trad husband is harder and harder the older you get and these modern men have no clue how to treat and appreciate wife material.
There is middle ground. You don't have to feed your kids franken-food. You can cook easy meals that are nutritious.
This
Yup. I now do videos on “feminist friendly recipes” easy and wholesome
@@lifetaketwo7662 I'm not a feminist, but I enjoy finding new recipes 🤣
@@stephaniegoings7932 I’m curious what your definition of feminist is 🤔
@LiterallyLisa1 I guess I get my definition from the feminists themselves. I'm not impressed.
Thank you for covering this topic!! This family is SUCH an unrealistic and unrelatable version of homesteading and simple living. Her stove alone is ridiculously expensive! Her baby items too! And the time it takes to make all those meals… as a woman who works full time and aspires to have kids one day and care for and nurture them, it’s frustrating to watch something SO unrealistic and unachievable. It frustrates me so much.
Daniel didn’t give a rats ass about her dreams or what she wanted, it’s all about him
I’m so excited that Jennie is on! Love you both!❤
Yay thx hi Deb❤
Growing up inactive Mormon, I watched a lot of big families angry and crying while getting them all ready for church. I saw many of my friends getting spanked or beat into being the perfect little LDS kids. I thought those people were better than my single mom family. But now that I’m old, I’m thankful that religion wasn’t forced on me and I had a loving family that didn’t raise me to conform to a culture or feel shame.
Absolutely everything you are both saying! 👏
Something that I find contradicts the whole 'trad wife' thing are the women on social media with thriving careers... what these women portray on social media is not their life! I find it misleading 🤷♀️
Very interesting. So true that Hannah makes it look so easy, what she is doing, but it is probably not at all easy. That is what ballett dancers do,they work really hard and than while performing they make it seem effortless... Great conversation 👍👍👍
so good to learn about this! always need to hear both sides imo