@@hopegold883 she is so brave! When I left church aged 19, I moved to another town and simply stopped going to church. For some time they believed I am going to church in my new place of residence, I was terrified to let them know. I was awash with guilt and shame and could never be as courageous and honest as this lady.
Exactly! When you can’t just walk in off the street and listen to a sermon or a mass or a lector what ever or can’t witness a wedding without being in that organization, when you can’t do literally certain things like or you will be shunned , or when if you leave your friends and family can’t speak to you , your in a cult !
The idea that he made her feel too embarrassed to sing in her own home/in the shower is so sad. Singing can be so comforting and therapeutic. I’m so grateful to hear her story. Jenny is one of my favorite guest so far
He sounds like he was just a violent, uneducated, hick. The uneducated part alone would not be a person's fault but the fact that he felt the need to act like his ways were normal, and shame her, for her more educated, and cultured qualities, along with him becoming violent, is what makes him a loathsome POS.
@@lifetaketwo7662 as a bi person, that part in the interview hit really hard. I’m so glad you’re doing better, I just followed you on TikTok and love hearing more of your story
I loved this part. You go girl. I left the church 5 years ago. The fact the church contradicts it's self all the time, by hating the "sin" but loving the "sinner." I never had a problem with Lgtbq+ people and the way the church treats them if they "sin" by living as themselves was hard for me. This, amoung other things was why I left the church.
“No one saw me they saw what I was producing.” Hit me so hard I had to pause and write that down because that’s how I see myself and that’s how I value myself and I’m so shocked right now. Thank you so much 😭
That hurts my heart. When I retired, I had many of the same thoughts. I think it became a time of learning that God loved me because of who He created me to be, and what I provide is not a measure of my worth. He would love me if I was laying in bed paralyzed. He loves us with an everlasting love. I'm learning to just rest in Him.
@@sherylpayne5851 Me too, leaning towards and learning to let go… rest in God’s love, while allowing feelings of overwhelming sadness for all the ways, and all the years, I learned and was forced to be something I am not. Like many women in this world, held down/held back, by others expectations and enforcements upon us😢
The absolute super human strength of being able to endure a lifetime of abuse, forced labour, submission and brainwashing yet be able to exude such a radiant, kind, warm energy smacks my gobs.
This is goals! I was married to a non denominational fundie evie "pastor" (He had no formal training) for 17 years. Finally, after a ton of abuse and misogyny, I left him AND the church (my parents were also member) with my 18 ywr old son. The final straw was when my husband told me that he loved the church more than me, his wife. He also said that's what the Bible teaches (it doesn't). The brain washing is real.
@@rachelh9150that’s exactly what my now x said to me and that the church came way before me I was like 3 rd on his list. Then after 24 years of Marr and found his big secret he had been keeping and I told him that’s the end of my marriage and I have not looked back
My story is SO similar to Jennie's 😢 Not Mormon but evangelical, and no children. I lost myself in the same way Jenny did. Dealing with a spouses rage and seemingly not being able to do anything right, being hyper vigilant and feeling SO responsible for this other adults emotional state~ so you run around observing, trying to do and be better over and over and over again, every single min of every day. Shaving off parts of yourself that they seem to hate or abhor so that they'll finally LOVE and accept you....and SEE you. It's exhausting. It has taken me 6 years to re-discover myself, who I am at my core. All the things that I covered up in order to fit in and be loved. Jenny, so proud of you for sharing your story. I just know so many will relate on many levels! It shouldn't be this way. This is NOT a marriage. Yes, I'm divorced (and remarried to an amazing man) but I do not see that first marriage as a true marriage. *It was abusive SLAVERY.* ❤
It's such a sad, lonely life. Everything he thinks, says and wants to do is important and you're expected to follow. One day you don't recognize yourself.
What's so sad is if she and he had been allowed to divorce when they knew they needed to it would have saved her years of abuse that escalated because it's obvious the match was not okay
Idk. First of all, they’re making money off of it, and more importantly, when you’re inside that framework, where there’s an answer for everything, it’s very easy to justify continuing, even when the truth is staring you in the face. But, I too kept thinking that - especially about that valley farm one, or whatever she’s called. It’s so sad to see how she’s controlled and even bullied by her husband. (And she obviously thinks it’s perfectly normal, because she posts it)
A normal healthy trad wife relationship is not even remotely like her experience. The difference is having a partner who respects and supports you (and you him) and having a narcissistic husband whilst being in a cult that protects him.
@comment3711 People are using the term "tradwife" and "stay at home" interchangeably, but when the term tradwife first entered the lexicon, it came with a very specific ideological meaning. It was also associated with fascist movements. Tradwife ideology seeks to put women in positions of subservience to men, where life choices, finances, etc are all male-controlled. And it doesn't see family structure as a personal choice, it sees a 'male controlled/ woman at home' structure as the only correct and natural structure. You can be a stay at home mom in a traditional family structure, and still be on equal footing with the money-earning spouse.
Hi Jennie, I have never been Mormon. But I was a fundamentalist Evangelical Christian for 15 years. I know the persuasiveness of a “word from God” (usually from a man) it felt feels blasphemous to refuse it. I’m so sorry that you got manipulated into a life you didn’t want and didn’t choose. A friend of mine and I were discussing our similar church experiences recently and she told me that rebellion is sacred. It really resonated with me. I hope that you are able to “rebel”, and choose a life that makes you truly happy and fulfilled. You’re amazing x
I left the church 8 years ago and am still struggling with my identity. It's crazy how busy they keep us, but I think it's part of the plan so we don't have time to question anything. Our callings, seminary, three days of church activities per week, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, helping ward members move, Visiting Teaching, etc are efficiently time consuming. We're kept busy so we stay obedient, and we stay obedient because we're too busy to realize how bad it really is. I'm so glad to see similar stories to mine. Thank you.
I was a devout Mormon until I read Meditation for Dummies and started practicing mantra meditation and feeling my feelings such as fear, anger, jealousy, and pride without suppressing these feelings. Mantra meditation actually calmed my thoughts even when I wasn't meditating and my thoughts became more hopeful and happy. I was so mad the Mormon church had lied about what meditation was as mantra meditation benefited me 10x more than the church did. Also, got sick of the church teaching me how my feelings such as anger, fear, jealousy and pride were evil. I suppressed these feelings for years because of church teachings, but once I started feeling these feelings until they went away rather than suppressing them I was happier. I eventually quit going to church. One of the things I am most thankful for is finding and reading the book Meditation for Dummies by Stephan Bodian.
I’ve been out of the Seventh Day Adventist Church for almost 22 years now. It took me 15 years just to feel comfortable enough to eat bacon 🥓 , which was one of the last parts of my faith that I had hanging on by a thread. I have an ex-Mormon friend who had the same struggle with coffee ☕️ 10 years after she left her faith (she started with iced coffee because something about hot beverages I don’t quite remember) Some cultural indoctrination is so deep we almost forget it’s part of us
This is a toxic and abusive tactic for sure!! No time to find yourself, no time to question what the heck is going on, keeps you disregulated and more pliable to manipulate & abuse 😢
That is very true. When I felt a crisis of faith I didn't even know what it was because I didn't have time to examine it. I just knew I had to stop attending for at least a while so I could have time to think. And then after that time I never went back and I've been deconstructing ever since.
The suspense was killing me. So glad part 2 is here. Thanks, Ladies! As a non-Mormon, I was blown away by the “naked poncho” ritual. Naturally, I never heard of this. It’s kind of sick.
This story is off the chain! I loved her explanation for why she stayed in a marriage for 23 years. People who have not experienced religious manipulation cannot understand why a person doesn’t leave and move on. The whole idea of a person serving a god that is bigger and all encompassing is beyond a nonbeliever. When you are raised to believe and obey a religious leader you cannot just assume a person just drops the chains and move on. I love how she demonstrated how all of the contributing factors shaped her life. She is a beautiful soul and spirit that has found joy and an authentic life. What a great teacher that has bloomed and willing to share her story. I will be following her. Thanks for bringing her on!
así mero sandi esa secta mormona y esos líderes son tan manipuladores y mentirosos que dañan la salud mental de los miembros hay muchos miembros sufriendo de ansiedad y deperecion enfermedades mentales graves pero están tan manipulados y adoctrinados que su mente ya no puede pensar en otras cosas espero poder sacar amis hijas de esa secta mormona tóxica y llena de manipuladores y mentirosos salgan de esa secta mormona antes de que sea demasiado tarde y les afecte su salud mental y desarrollen anciefad
While her husband was also trapped in this marriage and unhappy, I don’t feel bad for him. It was his choice to treat her like crap, abuse her, cheat on her and even willfully put her life at risk while she was fighting cancer! He’s a literal predator. I saw one of Jen‘s Tik Toks where she explained he was even sleeping with very young and vulnerable, drug addicted sex workers!
It’s almost like being an RM has jack shit to do with if a guy is good or not. News flash it’s not. My missionary ghosted me literally. I thought she was a good person but her true colors came out. Taking off the missionary mask revealed she’s cold, heartless, and doesn’t care about my feelings despite befriending me just to get me baptized. I ripped her on facebook. If I feel I was done dirty I’ll call you out regardless who you think you are. Return missionaries think they are special but they aren’t. They’re just as normal as everyone else. Being an RM doesn’t entitle you to think you’re better than everyone else that goes for the elders and sisters.
Absolutely. Women are nothing more to him than things to be exploited. She said he was meeting an 18 year old but that’s probably what her pimp advertised her as. She was likely younger and it wouldn’t have mattered to him.
Though I was married to a narcissist who was not physically violent, I am making a new life after staying through 30 years with breadcrumb love. Jennie, I hear the agony of staying, having empathy when you ex has none, and now choosing a partner who loves you, not some TRAD wife Mattel version of a wife. May your children thrive and learn how to make good choices in their future partnerships My prayers have been for my 3 to have minimal damage from their early years, and now they all have great partners and healthy lives... Hope, Joy and Peace to you and yours.
The moment of standing up in the middle of a calling lesson, the bravery to publicly lay out your reason why, and deeply knowing the storm that would be coming and the destruction it did bring. You are heroic Jenny. In the literal sense, thank you for sharing your story
I watched the Mormon Church in Utah as a non-member for years and years. They stalk former members and getting off the church rolls is so difficult. I really felt like I had to protect my kids from constant recruitting! I'm so happy we left Utah. 7 years was enough.
Congratulations on "Life - take 2". I think it's going to have a profound impact. I think almost anyone who's watched this video is rooting for your success, peace and happiness.
1. I also live in AZ. 2. I am realizing that being able to make art on Sundays and attending therapy has become part of my individual sovereignty.3. I never thought about a possibility of leaving the church until covid had us staying home. To the guest on this podcast: thank you for sharing your story. I wish you nothing but the best in life.
It gets confusing, for sure. And my comment, though it makes sense to me, is probably going to sound like word salad so, I don’t expect anyone to read it. 😉 With that said , when we’re all conditioned through larger entities, whatever that may be -a religion where we’re surrounded by and influenced by, through how many ever members of that religion, throughout how many ever years of our lives, throughout how many ever stages of maturation we go through, developing our world view & as humans who cling to whatever answers there are in order to function, be accepted, let alone by what we’re told is the be all end all, all powerful, in this world and beyond, with how many ever threats to all the things most important to us or…patriarchy, which is just as powerful, very immediately threatening, supported by and perpetuated by our entire society, with very few to no supports or safe spaces, safe people to find respite through when we’re in situations that are harming us on the daily and to which our core selves are questioning on the daily & yet, scared to death to step out especially when every move you can conceive of enacting to provide yourself freedom comes with a huge, impactful risk in areas that you’d at least been protected from within the how many ever years of harm you’ve endured in every other area…even though it is not our responsibility, nor could we ever successfully take it on, to do the work our abusers need to do, for them, in order to heal & stop their own cycles of perpetuating these horrific things…understanding that none of what they do/did happens without the same amount of conditioning that had US primed to fall into place as victims, had them placed into positions of power over us (if we’re talking cis males) giving them these permissions to harm, but that they TOO are not thriving humans and there is turmoil within them, as well, these ideas and ideals and beliefs not only not serving them as individual nor collective humans and how we were best designed to function, but that those abuses are projections of the turmoil they endure, having no effing clue who the hell they are, acting in misery, often abused themselves, throughout their childhood , adolescence, often carrying trauma that society doesn’t support them admitting, let alone seeking supports to identify and put efforts into healing, all of which perpetuates the abuses mostly done against women, by men/them…we can at least understand a bit better how all of this comes about, which doesn’t equate to excusing it, doesn’t demand we forgive the individual especially in an era where the information and supports for them grows everyday and to whom access is most readily available to them, out of anyone, any gender. It at least gives us more answers to enrich our own journey toward healing, which for so many women, the confusion, the lack of understanding of what is going on and why, when we’re in active abuse, can really help. And it can help with some of that anger, where to place at least a portion of it that may not all fit into the people that have harmed us. Especially when we think about their choices and why the hell they didn’t choose better, as fully developed, integrated adults, otherwise capable of doing better. And…it gives us that information in order to raise our children with better information than we had. And like Jenny, who’s raising boys, that’s golden information. And at the end of the day, having empathy for someone can ALWAYS be done at a distance. It can always be done behind boundaries and intolerance. It simply lends to a larger scope of what the fuck is going on. And we are intricate, complex, brain dependent beings that have a wide range of emotions that we are, too, dependent upon, in order to continue to reveal and conceive an ever changing, ever evolving reality; both, individually and collectively as a society. To which directly affects where humanity goes.
@@ec9833 We do not realize that we are drinking the Kool-aid. Hense, education is key. That is why we need channels like this. Keep on keeping on, Shelisse. -Angele
@@lifetaketwo7662yes, but he wasn’t forced to sleep with sex workers. Nor was he forced to consider her life to be valueless when she was deathly ill. Those things, and his constant emotional abuse, are not part of the Mormon experience, as far as I understand.
After yesterday's part 1, I was so anxiously awaiting part 2. Thank you for getting this up so quickly. Her story went in directions I could not have imagined. I am just so glad she was finally able to escape - both the church and Jake.
"I am finally building the life that I want" That made me cry! Thank you so much for sharing your story, I hope life has nothing but happiness in store for you because you deserve it!
I’ve deconstructed from my evangelical Christian upbringing and oh my do I LOVE Sunday’s now! They used to be so stressful, and now I look forward to them! Walks, a swim in the pool, sleeping in, no makeup, prepping for the work week, reading a book, visiting with family and friends….the list goes on and on! So much joy, now that I have my life back! You go girl!
She never told us how her first boyfriend, Ryan, found her on Facebook and helped her to get out of her situation!! That was a teaser from part 1! I’m so grateful for Jennie’s story! She is an amazing inspiration.
@@CultstoConsciousness OMG I hope so! Her story about breaking up with Ryan on the phone had me crying during part 1! So happy to see she is free and thriving in her life now!
Justttt started this but wow, Shelise, you nailed it!!!! "Spiritual Manipulation." This. Exactly!!!❤ I couldnt click on this fast enough, I love Jenny!!! More to comment after I watch it!
I have a friend who grew up mormon and got married to a return missionary with she was 18 or 19. 3 kids and a move across the US she has left the church. Her husband is still an active member and and they let their kids choose if they want to go or not. She's taken back her love for musical theater and is a wonderful wife and mother.
The withholding affection is was did it for me. Not Mormon but raised Catholic. First husband thought making fun of me and failing to provide me with the simplest of affection caused me to break. Life-ending actions nearly took me out. Now my new husband does it all for me and more. We were both at the end of our time here until we met. Going long and strong. In the late Autumn of our lives and wishing we had so many more years to spend together. Glad you got a happy ending and your new hubby is understanding and appreciates you for you.
My ex wife would call me fat. Instead of feeling bad I’d challenge her say ok let’s race I’ll give a 40 yard head start. And when I still obliterate you I will immediately file for divorce. She never took me up on my offer. She knew I’d destroy her in a foot race because despite being 280 pounds at the time I still can do a 300 meter in less than 50 seconds. I had proof before I was preparing for the police academy. Part of the fitness test is a 300 meter run in 60 seconds or less
Dear Shelleise, the State President was also abusive and rather sneaky, all wrapped up with a big, big bow in the brightest color called unkind. This beautiful woman is another spectacular work of art, love and finally self respect. That self respect translated into respect for her children, which translate risking everything for the love she had for her children and their future. She absolutely saved them from church misery. We can all, on our very own, create whatever miseries and burdens we are lacking! With all due respect, the Mormon Church is brutal beyond belief. These survival stories stop me in my tracks. Every person you have brought here to us, whether Mormon or not, has bared their heart and soul to educate me, us. How do you find these incredible people who have this special ability? These special persons are rare and are able to communicate, truly from the heart. I could never possibly explain how they touch me and have opened my mind and my heart. Their adversity is my education. I am in awe of each and every one of them and you too.
@@oliveoilchic the mainstream lds faith is fundamentalist christian religion / cult. Steven Hassan, cult expert has included Mormonism and JWs in his work on cult mind control. 100% is a high demand, highly coercive religious organization.
Oh myyyy. This is sooo eye opening! I’m a total stranger to Mormonism or any other religion, but now I understand what’s really happening behind all these perfect Instagram moms’ lives! I was always saying that one can’t be that perfect! All ideally beautiful, organized, finds time for everything, kids are clean and behaved, husband is happy with those perfect meals and ideal house! Noooow it makes sense! I’ve been feeling so not enough looking at their ideal lives! Thank you so much for making it make sense ❤
This was a great interview. It resonated with me on such a deep level. I was in an abusive marriage, physically emotionally verbally and spiritually for 17 years and the main reason I stayed was “families are together forever“ and this is just a really short time in the eternities and when he’s resurrected, he will be mentally healthy and we will be happy and together forever. It took me 17 years to see through the façade thank you so much for sharing your story.
That was so powerful and relatable. I could have been you, but thank god I was fat. I was so envious of girls like you at BYU. Now I know better. Thanks for being so open and honest.
Well done on telling your story so well. Non Mormon single straight lady here. For a long time through the lens of society, religion, and family, I thought I was a failure as I never met the love of my life, never married or had children. One day at work, I met an old school friend who had met her husband at 13 and married in her early 20s. She said I envy you." I stopped up and asked why she said that she answered I've seen you doing your own thing going places doing different jobs and I envy you your freedom. At this stage she had two kids and was married for a long time. From what she didnt say I gather that her life was less than ideal. It made me review my life and appreciate it . Being single and free and me! Looking at really messy bitter family marriage breakdowns also made me appreciate my life. Yes I would have liked to have had the husband home and family but was a great believer and free to believe that if it was meant to be it would have happened and when it didn't I learned to accept and embrace my life and live it. My parents were married for almost 63 years and were a happy beautiful and equal partnership but I could see that marriage requires work communication and equality as well as each partner having separate interests and being free to pursue them. Getting to know your intended life partner before marriage is essential. And if it works it's amazing, but for many it is far from ideal or the only ideal to have.
If they can only see your outward appearance and reject you for that then none of these guys are worth it. It's the inner person that matters not being a plastic carbon copy doll like creature with no personality. You are worth much more
Same girl, saaame. I got to travel and live on a different continent now. All my friends where I grew up are on their 2nd kid or getting married. But I know that I haven’t seen enough, how are they so sure that this is it? Anywho, I hope for them it is a different outcome. But their men…. Smh
In my opinion, Jennie is far too kind to her abusive ex-husband. What a cruel, heartless, predatory man. I hope her kindness is for her own healing and moving forward with her life. She didn’t deserve the way he treated her and their children.
My heart goes out to you and what you went through. I almost married a narcissist Mormon guy. Thankfully I had a nightmare about being married to him and called it off. Your story hits home for me. The pressure to get married young in that culture is so intense. I’m so happy for you that you’re building the life that you want now ❤️
Thank you! I was hoping it would be a quick turn around for part 2. I’m in Australia. Just finished watching…it’s now 2:45M. But it was such a cliff hanger at the end of part 1…I had to watch it straight away. Jennie is amazing. I’m so happy for her in being able to find peace and true love after everything she had been through. Amazing interview. Xx
@@lifetaketwo7662 You are so inspiring, Jennie. I’ve had a few knocks over the last few years. I am in the process of healing. You really resonated with me. I will get through this…I will honour myself and be myself and find the peace, balance and joy. Thank you for sharing your story and replying to me. I feel honoured and seen. Thank you.x
@Cults to Consciousness Shelise and Jonathan. I have been a sub and devotee since the beginning!! I've NEVER had to stop a video bc I FELT such pain in hearing this story. That such indoctrination can do such DAMAGE in just surviving womanhood. Why also I am so thankful that I NEVER got married or had children in ANY religious capacity!! Since I was indoctrinated in church and school to desire nothing else. So happy YOU are BOTH out!!!
"I'll love you when..." "I'll appreciate you if only..." UN-conditional does not enter, is never possible. Love never enters into this as a possibility. Emotional abuse is a terrible thing.
I recently ran into the paramedic that saved my life when I attempted and was able to tell him that I'm doing better now and that I'm okay. Life will give you reasons to stick around if you stick around to receive them.
I think what shelise misses with the disclaimer is that plenty of people believe they are choosing the tradwife lifestyle because they wholeheartedly want to. That’s the issue- you believe it’s what you want because you’ve been conditioned to think that is the best thing you could want. I would add that the choosing that is fine as long as both people enter it with full informed consent. Going into it with understanding of abuse and coercion, and how to do the “traditional” thing without being held hostage- even if you believe it’s what you want.
And you simply don't know what you don't know. Maybe you've never seen a working mom in your own personal life. That was the case for me. I don't know if I would have wanted to work, but I do know there only seemed to be one "correct" option which was to be "traditional".
I've been binging on your videos and I have to say that you are great interviewer, you are compassion, you asked the right question, and you do it with such empathy. Hearing all the stories, make me feel fortunate that I was born and raised in a secular environment. From a young age I always questions things, especially religious. I remember, when I was 16 I went with a friend to a mall and there was Scientologists who tried to convince us to go to conference, my friend got really excited, and I said to those guys straight to their faces that they are full of b*******. I do believe that faith and religious can be good in some ways, I don't think that religious people are necessarily in a cult, but I do think that people should be aware the power that religious can have on you. Hearing this woman story is inspiring. She is courageous and she's beautiful inside and out. Thank you so much for doing good job bringing out the stories.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Hearing you talk about where you are now after everything... it honestly made tear up. I'm so, so happy you've found yourself and your own joy.
Thank you for sharing your story. You're an inspiration and I am so grateful that you were saved to have a part two. The life that you were truly meant to live. May you forever be blessed and loved and seen.
I'm only halfway through the video and my heart is breaking for you, there is so much there I can relate to from years of abusive relationships and expectations. I just want to give you the biggest hug, you are so amazing, I can't wait to hear how you escaped all that.
In case you read this, Jennie, I'm so proud of you, and leaving the church and telling everyone it's because of their hate is such an amazing thing to do! I certainly wouldn't have had the guts to do this.
I wasn't a Mormon but was with someone who did the exact same things. He was 20 years older than me and I was so naive and spineless, I didn't know any better... he was a multi millionaire who had a helicopter to give perspective. He would scream at me for breathing too hard when going to sleep, he changed everything about me. He was a trophy hunter, dressed me, had to have his scrambled eggs a certain way... he also proposed to me (not bc he loved me but to control me) but would threaten not marrying me if he didn't like something I was doing. Fortunately I escaped that and had mandatory therapy bc I got a dwi, that I didn't even know I needed. It saved me tho. And I'm so grateful I escaped that horrible horrible situation ❤❤❤
This is just so life affirming and hope filled. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable. You have no idea how many lives that you have changed with your life story. ❤ Thank you
Jenny you can grow your own fig tree. I was just visiting my daughter in Phoenix who had planted a fig tree last year in her backyard. Those figs were harvested with love and they were so delicious. ❤
Wow, you are amazing, Jennie! I relate to many of the things you shared. I admire your strength and am so glad you are now in a much better place and can be unapologetically YOU because you are beautiful inside and out. Thank you again for sharing your story, there are many who are and will be inspired by it. I wish you all the best! Same to you, Shelise!
Loved this interview with Jenny! Loved her metaphor for a relationship, how it's not a dropped pin, but they are literally your partner to reaching a bigger destination in life. Wow!
This was one of the most touching interviews I’ve ever seen on this channel. Thank you so much. 🙏 The masking is very relatable. I had undiagnosed ADHD as a child (didn’t get a diagnosis until my 30’s). I didn’t know why I would get so excitable and say dumb things all the time when I was happy. Peers would roll their eyes and ignore me, and nobody wanted to be friend. I learned pretty quickly that I had to suppress my true self if I was ever going to survive life. “If they see your true personality, they will hate you,” is what I told myself. I kept this message continuous, even at jobs- learning how to stay quiet so I don’t say the wrong thing and fake smile so people wouldn’t ask me “what’s wrong?” I would listen to what others said and mimic their talking style to fit in. If you just say what people want to hear, you can actually blend in quite well. Problem is, I lost myself and forgot who I really was. And made “friends” who were not really friends at all but controlling, narcissistic, rude and unhappy people. ☹️
Jake seems like a complete gem! While I understand you were both forced to stay in this marriage, there is also something called human kindness. I’m so glad you found your spark and joy because Jake…he’s not worthy of your light!
That story about him making her feel so embarrassed and ashamed of singing that she stopped singing altogether absolutely broke my heart 🥺 She is such a kind soul for being able to have any sympathy for Jake after everything he put her through. Finally deciding to leave everything she knew during that hate filled sermon shows what a loving and strong person she is. I’m so glad she made it out of that cultish hell and finally found happiness. She deserves the world after everything she’s been through and still remaining so kind 💜
Her explaining how she bent and contorted herself to be everything he should want only to be abandoned really got to me. I’ve been single a long time after a series of really abusive relationships and I did a lot of that. I jumped through so many hoops and never felt loved. Hearing her story has really hit home that it’s better to be single, self sufficient and healthy than settle for less.
I was so happy to see this come up! I've been following Jennie on TT for a long time. In fact, she helped me with my own deconstruction (as a never mo). ❤️
Did you know that Brigham loved the theater? He cheated the workers cutting stone for the SLC temple by telling them that it wasn't good enough for the temple but don't worry, I will put it to good use by using it to build my theater. Yeah, he really did this and some other similar things.
I have much of the same experience. I have lost possessions, children, sanity., almost my life more than once. Abuse overwhelming in Marriage for 20 years . I have been alone 22 years. Turning 65. Never found a partner all these years in the church. Finding myself and my own happy ending. Thank you for telling your story .
It boggles my mind that the abusers tend to do the best Valentine's Day. My partner never remembers Valentine's Day. And I realized that I don't care. What I want is a good man, that is doing small things for me all year round. If he was an a-hole, I would throw the presents, the perfumes, the flowers, in his face.
When she shared about walking out of church, I started bawling. It brought up visceral moments as I was desperately trying to hold my shelf up but could no longer deal with the hate and manipulative rhetoric about hating the sin and loving the sinner. It was the point of coming to church to learn to love and being surrounded by carefully decorated hate that really got me. That was my continual wall. It wasn't love for herself that helped her leave the church but love for others and I really with Mormons and evangelical Christians could see that.
It's insane to me how your family insisted so hard on you marrying a returning missionary and then this guy turned out to be someone who didn't care if he exposed you to all kinds of STDs by cheating. I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation.
Wow! this is the most detail I've ever heard about the temple ceremony... that sounds so surreal! I'm really happy you escaped all of that, you're beautiful inside and out!
She will always be the Mom of her children. Her ex husband is a jerk! She will find life out of the cult so much better with time. I am so sorry for all her suffering💔 Thank you for sharing your life experiences. You are a strong woman who deserves happiness!
@@lifetaketwo7662🥺 when you skipped over the specifics of your losses I hoped it was for their privacy and feared it was this. I’m so sorry. Even if it had been just for a day, I am so sorry.
He knowingly had sex and acted innocently when she was getting sick and was having infections from his dirty liaisons, If that had been me i would have gotten him charged. Angry 200% 😠😠👿👿
I know! They couldn't divorce because as a missionary he would loose his eternal soul BUT being promiscuous and committing adultery would have no impact!!!! That is weird.
I am not Mormon, I have never been involved in a high demand Religion, I have never had an abusive partner, I was blessed to grow up with love and encouragement to be whatever I wanted to be from my family… And even still, this podcast is so inspiring. So I can only imagine what it feels like for those who have not had the privilege of love and support that I have had. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for being a message for women that it is never too late to start over and build a happy, healthy, fulfilling life. 💜
Well, Jennie, I find myself giving you a virtual hug two days in a row. Again, I'm glad you're still here to share your story with us. I found myself cheering when you stood up and told your Mormon group that you were leaving and exactly why. Personally, and this is only my opinion, I thought people were supposed to find comfort in religion/church. People these days are trying to move us toward the "Christian based country" they think we were founded on. (I guess deleting the first amendment) I find that people seem so angry in doing this. I guess my point being, people are being told to hate this and shun that. Doesn't seem very Christian to me which is why I dropped out decades ago. My life is guided by empathy, sympathy and understanding. I can disagree with someone and still find common ground upon which to maintain a friendship. Hatred is just not in my DNA and i make no apologies for that. It took me a while but at 61, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I'm glad you're getting there earlier. I enjoy enjoy watching both of your channels ladies. Keep up the great work 👍 ❤
Thank you both. Priceless interview. More of the same please. I am saddened at yet another life - of countless others - stolen/derailed by the Mormon Church. I am encouraged by how much stronger and more powerful Jennie’s natural soul is than the Mormon evil she was born into. I understand this well. (author In Polygamy’s Shadow)
I so admire her. She did not leave the church for herself, she left because of the hate shown for others. She’s amazing.
Just to add: it is really important as well to leave something or someone for yourself
Women are taught to care for others and ignore own needs. In this case it helped her to get her life back
This is true. Self sacrifice often comes naturally to women to begin with.
And she told them that’s why she was going!
@@hopegold883 she is so brave! When I left church aged 19, I moved to another town and simply stopped going to church. For some time they believed I am going to church in my new place of residence, I was terrified to let them know. I was awash with guilt and shame and could never be as courageous and honest as this lady.
Keeping rituals under extreme secrecy is a major red flag! 🚩
First time walking into a Pentecostal Church and seeing all the gentle sober people milling around until the service starts...
These temple secrets must have been spiritual heritage and spiritual damage related to Joseph Smith, I guess? 😮
That's a really good point.....
... because of masonic traditions and masonic heritage probably... 😮😮😮
Exactly! When you can’t just walk in off the street and listen to a sermon or a mass or a lector what ever or can’t witness a wedding without being in that organization, when you can’t do literally certain things like or you will be shunned , or when if you leave your friends and family can’t speak to you , your in a cult !
The idea that he made her feel too embarrassed to sing in her own home/in the shower is so sad. Singing can be so comforting and therapeutic. I’m so grateful to hear her story. Jenny is one of my favorite guest so far
He sounds like he was just a violent, uneducated, hick. The uneducated part alone would not be a person's fault but the fact that he felt the need to act like his ways were normal, and shame her, for her more educated, and cultured qualities, along with him becoming violent, is what makes him a loathsome POS.
The ex husband sounds like he was very uneducated and controlling. That was sad that he shamed her out of singing.
My ex wouldn’t let me whistle. Just kept saying ‘don’t do that, it is so irritating’.
@@private15I’m so sorry 😞
So sad!
Walking out during church and saying to their faces that it’s because of the hate they were spewing is so iconic. We stan Jennie
That's awesome! I haven't watched it yet, but I know I definitely will now.
Thank you! I’m very shy in real life and it was unlike me to do what I did. The lesson was so hateful.
@lifetaketwo7662 I'm not up to that part yet, but GIRLLLLL what an incredibly brave thing to do! ❤
@@lifetaketwo7662 as a bi person, that part in the interview hit really hard. I’m so glad you’re doing better, I just followed you on TikTok and love hearing more of your story
I loved this part. You go girl. I left the church 5 years ago. The fact the church contradicts it's self all the time, by hating the "sin" but loving the "sinner." I never had a problem with Lgtbq+ people and the way the church treats them if they "sin" by living as themselves was hard for me. This, amoung other things was why I left the church.
“No one saw me they saw what I was producing.” Hit me so hard I had to pause and write that down because that’s how I see myself and that’s how I value myself and I’m so shocked right now. Thank you so much 😭
That hurts my heart. When I retired, I had many of the same thoughts.
I think it became a time of learning that God loved me because of who He created me to be, and what I provide is not a measure of my worth.
He would love me if I was laying in bed paralyzed.
He loves us with an everlasting love.
I'm learning to just rest in Him.
@@sherylpayne5851 Me too, leaning towards and learning to let go… rest in God’s love, while allowing feelings of overwhelming sadness for all the ways, and all the years, I learned and was forced to be something I am not. Like many women in this world, held down/held back, by others expectations and enforcements upon us😢
@juliebennion8856 Hugs and blessings to you, my sister in Christ Jesus.
❤❤❤
💗💗
The absolute super human strength of being able to endure a lifetime of abuse, forced labour, submission and brainwashing yet be able to exude such a radiant, kind, warm energy smacks my gobs.
This! And smacks my gobs is the funniest comment I’ve read in a long time 😂 holding in my laughs so I don’t wake the baby
@@CultstoConsciousness long time lurker, first time commenter. Love your work!
This is goals! I was married to a non denominational fundie evie "pastor" (He had no formal training) for 17 years. Finally, after a ton of abuse and misogyny, I left him AND the church (my parents were also member) with my 18 ywr old son. The final straw was when my husband told me that he loved the church more than me, his wife. He also said that's what the Bible teaches (it doesn't).
The brain washing is real.
Exactly!
@@rachelh9150that’s exactly what my now x said to me and that the church came way before me I was like 3 rd on his list. Then after 24 years of Marr and found his big secret he had been keeping and I told him that’s the end of my marriage and I have not looked back
It's great that women can come together to warn and support each other.
My story is SO similar to Jennie's 😢 Not Mormon but evangelical, and no children.
I lost myself in the same way Jenny did. Dealing with a spouses rage and seemingly not being able to do anything right, being hyper vigilant and feeling SO responsible for this other adults emotional state~ so you run around observing, trying to do and be better over and over and over again, every single min of every day. Shaving off parts of yourself that they seem to hate or abhor so that they'll finally LOVE and accept you....and SEE you. It's exhausting. It has taken me 6 years to re-discover myself, who I am at my core. All the things that I covered up in order to fit in and be loved.
Jenny, so proud of you for sharing your story. I just know so many will relate on many levels!
It shouldn't be this way. This is NOT a marriage.
Yes, I'm divorced (and remarried to an amazing man) but I do not see that first marriage as a true marriage. *It was abusive SLAVERY.*
❤
Thank you for sharing! Glad you’re in a better place now
It's such a sad, lonely life. Everything he thinks, says and wants to do is important and you're expected to follow. One day you don't recognize yourself.
Oh, hey! I think I've seen you leave a comment somewhere else before. Do you watch Sheila Wray Gregoire?
Why I never remarried and live alone with a support dog.
I’m not a Christian, but in my opinion, Mormonism and even evangelical Christianity are the most misogynistic branches of Christianity
She’s sharing this temple story, and I’m like girl you didn’t consent to this. You were assaulted!
They instill shame towards the human body/sex for members’ entire lives, only to assault them without any warning. It’s twisted. 😰
They basically never teach girls to say NO, they just have to endure whatever happens to them..🥺
Non consensual sexual touch, an attorney told me a couple years back.
It's a way cults try to break down your personal boundaries.
Exactly! And she was so young. Its definitely a recipe to slowly break down your barriers.
What's so sad is if she and he had been allowed to divorce when they knew they needed to it would have saved her years of abuse that escalated because it's obvious the match was not okay
And it would have saved our kids a lot of trauma and abuse too.
Yes! I'm so glad my mom's pastor convinced her to divorce my cheating abusive bio-dad in 85
This is heartbreaking. All those 20 year old tad wives online should watch this. I am so sorry, Jeannie. Thank you for sharing your story.
Idk. First of all, they’re making money off of it, and more importantly, when you’re inside that framework, where there’s an answer for everything, it’s very easy to justify continuing, even when the truth is staring you in the face.
But, I too kept thinking that - especially about that valley farm one, or whatever she’s called. It’s so sad to see how she’s controlled and even bullied by her husband. (And she obviously thinks it’s perfectly normal, because she posts it)
Thank you for watching.
A normal healthy trad wife relationship is not even remotely like her experience. The difference is having a partner who respects and supports you (and you him) and having a narcissistic husband whilst being in a cult that protects him.
@comment3711 People are using the term "tradwife" and "stay at home" interchangeably, but when the term tradwife first entered the lexicon, it came with a very specific ideological meaning. It was also associated with fascist movements. Tradwife ideology seeks to put women in positions of subservience to men, where life choices, finances, etc are all male-controlled. And it doesn't see family structure as a personal choice, it sees a 'male controlled/ woman at home' structure as the only correct and natural structure.
You can be a stay at home mom in a traditional family structure, and still be on equal footing with the money-earning spouse.
@@jenpatrick5633 Ohhhhh, I see. There is a very big difference between the two. Thank you for the clarification.
Hi Jennie,
I have never been Mormon. But I was a fundamentalist Evangelical Christian for 15 years. I know the persuasiveness of a “word from God” (usually from a man) it felt feels blasphemous to refuse it.
I’m so sorry that you got manipulated into a life you didn’t want and didn’t choose.
A friend of mine and I were discussing our similar church experiences recently and she told me that rebellion is sacred. It really resonated with me. I hope that you are able to “rebel”, and choose a life that makes you truly happy and fulfilled. You’re amazing x
Thank you for this sweet comment ❤
I left the church 8 years ago and am still struggling with my identity. It's crazy how busy they keep us, but I think it's part of the plan so we don't have time to question anything. Our callings, seminary, three days of church activities per week, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, helping ward members move, Visiting Teaching, etc are efficiently time consuming. We're kept busy so we stay obedient, and we stay obedient because we're too busy to realize how bad it really is. I'm so glad to see similar stories to mine. Thank you.
I was a devout Mormon until I read Meditation for Dummies and started practicing mantra meditation and feeling my feelings such as fear, anger, jealousy, and pride without suppressing these feelings. Mantra meditation actually calmed my thoughts even when I wasn't meditating and my thoughts became more hopeful and happy. I was so mad the Mormon church had lied about what meditation was as mantra meditation benefited me 10x more than the church did. Also, got sick of the church teaching me how my feelings such as anger, fear, jealousy and pride were evil. I suppressed these feelings for years because of church teachings, but once I started feeling these feelings until they went away rather than suppressing them I was happier. I eventually quit going to church. One of the things I am most thankful for is finding and reading the book Meditation for Dummies by Stephan Bodian.
I’ve been out of the Seventh Day Adventist Church for almost 22 years now. It took me 15 years just to feel comfortable enough to eat bacon 🥓 , which was one of the last parts of my faith that I had hanging on by a thread. I have an ex-Mormon friend who had the same struggle with coffee ☕️ 10 years after she left her faith (she started with iced coffee because something about hot beverages I don’t quite remember)
Some cultural indoctrination is so deep we almost forget it’s part of us
This is a toxic and abusive tactic for sure!! No time to find yourself, no time to question what the heck is going on, keeps you disregulated and more pliable to manipulate & abuse 😢
Atleast they don't threaten to kill you unlike islam
That is very true. When I felt a crisis of faith I didn't even know what it was because I didn't have time to examine it. I just knew I had to stop attending for at least a while so I could have time to think. And then after that time I never went back and I've been deconstructing ever since.
The suspense was killing me. So glad part 2 is here. Thanks, Ladies!
As a non-Mormon, I was blown away by the “naked poncho” ritual. Naturally, I never heard of this. It’s kind of sick.
I was blown away by it too. Still traumatized a long time later
This story is off the chain! I loved her explanation for why she stayed in a marriage for 23 years. People who have not experienced religious manipulation cannot understand why a person doesn’t leave and move on. The whole idea of a person serving a god that is bigger and all encompassing is beyond a nonbeliever. When you are raised to believe and obey a religious leader you cannot just assume a person just drops the chains and move on. I love how she demonstrated how all of the contributing factors shaped her life. She is a beautiful soul and spirit that has found joy and an authentic life. What a great teacher that has bloomed and willing to share her story. I will be following her. Thanks for bringing her on!
así mero sandi esa secta mormona y esos líderes son tan manipuladores y mentirosos que dañan la salud mental de los miembros hay muchos miembros sufriendo de ansiedad y deperecion enfermedades mentales graves pero están tan manipulados y adoctrinados que su mente ya no puede pensar en otras cosas espero poder sacar amis hijas de esa secta mormona tóxica y llena de manipuladores y mentirosos salgan de esa secta mormona antes de que sea demasiado tarde y les afecte su salud mental y desarrollen anciefad
While her husband was also trapped in this marriage and unhappy, I don’t feel bad for him. It was his choice to treat her like crap, abuse her, cheat on her and even willfully put her life at risk while she was fighting cancer! He’s a literal predator. I saw one of Jen‘s Tik Toks where she explained he was even sleeping with very young and vulnerable, drug addicted sex workers!
It’s almost like being an RM has jack shit to do with if a guy is good or not. News flash it’s not. My missionary ghosted me literally. I thought she was a good person but her true colors came out. Taking off the missionary mask revealed she’s cold, heartless, and doesn’t care about my feelings despite befriending me just to get me baptized. I ripped her on facebook. If I feel I was done dirty I’ll call you out regardless who you think you are. Return missionaries think they are special but they aren’t. They’re just as normal as everyone else. Being an RM doesn’t entitle you to think you’re better than everyone else that goes for the elders and sisters.
Absolutely. Women are nothing more to him than things to be exploited. She said he was meeting an 18 year old but that’s probably what her pimp advertised her as. She was likely younger and it wouldn’t have mattered to him.
Jake wasn’t only abusive he was childish- you were married to a man child
How could he legally get away with leaving her in poverty when they had a long-term marriage and children? That SOB deserves to be in jail.
I lived this! Left after 24 years believing I deserved nothing.
Happened to me as well. 😢
That’s what I’m saying! That financial abuse at its finest
I was married to a divorce attorney… the irony.
@@deborahrose7425 noooooo girl! Red flag number one!!! Lol
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
Though I was married to a narcissist who was not physically violent, I am making a new life after staying through 30 years with breadcrumb love. Jennie, I hear the agony of staying, having empathy when you ex has none, and now choosing a partner who loves you, not some TRAD wife Mattel version of a wife. May your children thrive and learn how to make good choices in their future partnerships My prayers have been for my 3 to have minimal damage from their early years, and now they all have great partners and healthy lives... Hope, Joy and Peace to you and yours.
My husband did the same, only he was meeting men. Glad you got out of that marriage and cult and found happiness. Still looking for mine!
I’m so sorry hope your life is so much better now
The moment of standing up in the middle of a calling lesson, the bravery to publicly lay out your reason why, and deeply knowing the storm that would be coming and the destruction it did bring. You are heroic Jenny. In the literal sense, thank you for sharing your story
Ah thank you your comment gave me goosebumps
I watched the Mormon Church in Utah as a non-member for years and years. They stalk former members and getting off the church rolls is so difficult. I really felt like I had to protect my kids from constant recruitting!
I'm so happy we left Utah. 7 years was enough.
Also... I'm a singer and hearing the part about him telling her not to sing... I had to pause and cry. What a horrible man. ❤️🩹
Congratulations on "Life - take 2". I think it's going to have a profound impact. I think almost anyone who's watched this video is rooting for your success, peace and happiness.
1. I also live in AZ. 2. I am realizing that being able to make art on Sundays and attending therapy has become part of my individual sovereignty.3. I never thought about a possibility of leaving the church until covid had us staying home. To the guest on this podcast: thank you for sharing your story. I wish you nothing but the best in life.
Kind of hard to feel bad for him when he was abusing her from day one
It gets confusing, for sure. And my comment, though it makes sense to me, is probably going to sound like word salad so, I don’t expect anyone to read it. 😉 With that said , when we’re all conditioned through larger entities, whatever that may be -a religion where we’re surrounded by and influenced by, through how many ever members of that religion, throughout how many ever years of our lives, throughout how many ever stages of maturation we go through, developing our world view & as humans who cling to whatever answers there are in order to function, be accepted, let alone by what we’re told is the be all end all, all powerful, in this world and beyond, with how many ever threats to all the things most important to us or…patriarchy, which is just as powerful, very immediately threatening, supported by and perpetuated by our entire society, with very few to no supports or safe spaces, safe people to find respite through when we’re in situations that are harming us on the daily and to which our core selves are questioning on the daily & yet, scared to death to step out especially when every move you can conceive of enacting to provide yourself freedom comes with a huge, impactful risk in areas that you’d at least been protected from within the how many ever years of harm you’ve endured in every other area…even though it is not our responsibility, nor could we ever successfully take it on, to do the work our abusers need to do, for them, in order to heal & stop their own cycles of perpetuating these horrific things…understanding that none of what they do/did happens without the same amount of conditioning that had US primed to fall into place as victims, had them placed into positions of power over us (if we’re talking cis males) giving them these permissions to harm, but that they TOO are not thriving humans and there is turmoil within them, as well, these ideas and ideals and beliefs not only not serving them as individual nor collective humans and how we were best designed to function, but that those abuses are projections of the turmoil they endure, having no effing clue who the hell they are, acting in misery, often abused themselves, throughout their childhood , adolescence, often carrying trauma that society doesn’t support them admitting, let alone seeking supports to identify and put efforts into healing, all of which perpetuates the abuses mostly done against women, by men/them…we can at least understand a bit better how all of this comes about, which doesn’t equate to excusing it, doesn’t demand we forgive the individual especially in an era where the information and supports for them grows everyday and to whom access is most readily available to them, out of anyone, any gender. It at least gives us more answers to enrich our own journey toward healing, which for so many women, the confusion, the lack of understanding of what is going on and why, when we’re in active abuse, can really help. And it can help with some of that anger, where to place at least a portion of it that may not all fit into the people that have harmed us. Especially when we think about their choices and why the hell they didn’t choose better, as fully developed, integrated adults, otherwise capable of doing better. And…it gives us that information in order to raise our children with better information than we had. And like Jenny, who’s raising boys, that’s golden information. And at the end of the day, having empathy for someone can ALWAYS be done at a distance. It can always be done behind boundaries and intolerance. It simply lends to a larger scope of what the fuck is going on. And we are intricate, complex, brain dependent beings that have a wide range of emotions that we are, too, dependent upon, in order to continue to reveal and conceive an ever changing, ever evolving reality; both, individually and collectively as a society. To which directly affects where humanity goes.
@@ec9833 We do not realize that we are drinking the Kool-aid. Hense, education is key. That is why we need channels like this. Keep on keeping on, Shelisse. -Angele
Nah, I hate what he has done to her! Her grandma also doesn’t get a pass…😒
I don’t feel bad for him, but he was very much forced
@@lifetaketwo7662yes, but he wasn’t forced to sleep with sex workers. Nor was he forced to consider her life to be valueless when she was deathly ill. Those things, and his constant emotional abuse, are not part of the Mormon experience, as far as I understand.
After yesterday's part 1, I was so anxiously awaiting part 2. Thank you for getting this up so quickly. Her story went in directions I could not have imagined. I am just so glad she was finally able to escape - both the church and Jake.
36:34 "I could no longer see me".
Wow. Profound Jennie. I popped over to TT to follow you both after yesterday's conversation.
Ah nice to meet u and thx for the follow ❤
@@lifetaketwo7662 you're welcome! 🫂
"I am finally building the life that I want" That made me cry!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I hope life has nothing but happiness in store for you because you deserve it!
My heart goes out to the individuals that suffered under these brutal conditions. 💜
I’ve deconstructed from my evangelical Christian upbringing and oh my do I LOVE Sunday’s now! They used to be so stressful, and now I look forward to them! Walks, a swim in the pool, sleeping in, no makeup, prepping for the work week, reading a book, visiting with family and friends….the list goes on and on! So much joy, now that I have my life back! You go girl!
I really enjoy your channel and these tradwife interviews.
She never told us how her first boyfriend, Ryan, found her on Facebook and helped her to get out of her situation!! That was a teaser from part 1!
I’m so grateful for Jennie’s story! She is an amazing inspiration.
You’re right! We ran out of time dealing with some tech issues. Maybe we can do another follow up or live 😁
@@CultstoConsciousness OMG I hope so! Her story about breaking up with Ryan on the phone had me crying during part 1! So happy to see she is free and thriving in her life now!
Oh darn I haven't watched part 2 but I was definitely looking forward to hearing about that😊
Oh no!!!! I’ll do a UA-cam anout it this week.
@jennifermhudson1 YASS!! Y'all, we definitely need a part 3! 🥰
Justttt started this but wow, Shelise, you nailed it!!!! "Spiritual Manipulation." This. Exactly!!!❤ I couldnt click on this fast enough, I love Jenny!!! More to comment after I watch it!
Part 2 already?!? Thank you Shelise!
This woman has such an incredible voice. I could listen to her all day.! ❤
Oh my gosh thank you ❤
Part 2 came out fast. I love how you stood up for yourself it took me 32yrs to get away from my abuser.
Part 2 already ❤❤❤❤❤ can't wait to hear how she continued to find her voice and strength.
I have a friend who grew up mormon and got married to a return missionary with she was 18 or 19. 3 kids and a move across the US she has left the church. Her husband is still an active member and and they let their kids choose if they want to go or not. She's taken back her love for musical theater and is a wonderful wife and mother.
The withholding affection is was did it for me. Not Mormon but raised Catholic. First husband thought making fun of me and failing to provide me with the simplest of affection caused me to break. Life-ending actions nearly took me out. Now my new husband does it all for me and more. We were both at the end of our time here until we met. Going long and strong. In the late Autumn of our lives and wishing we had so many more years to spend together. Glad you got a happy ending and your new hubby is understanding and appreciates you for you.
I’m so sorry
My ex wife would call me fat. Instead of feeling bad I’d challenge her say ok let’s race I’ll give a 40 yard head start. And when I still obliterate you I will immediately file for divorce. She never took me up on my offer. She knew I’d destroy her in a foot race because despite being 280 pounds at the time I still can do a 300 meter in less than 50 seconds. I had proof before I was preparing for the police academy. Part of the fitness test is a 300 meter run in 60 seconds or less
@@BrianWaller-qe7grI’m sorry for the mean treatment from your then wife. I hope you are free now.
@@BrianWaller-qe7grthanks the universe she is an ex! Hope you have a happy life without her 11:21
Dear Shelleise, the State President was also abusive and rather sneaky, all wrapped up with a big, big bow in the brightest color called unkind.
This beautiful woman is another spectacular work of art, love and finally self respect. That self respect translated into respect for her children, which translate risking everything for the love she had for her children and their future. She absolutely saved them from church misery. We can all, on our very own, create whatever miseries and burdens we are lacking! With all due respect, the Mormon Church is brutal beyond belief. These survival stories stop me in my tracks. Every person you have brought here to us, whether Mormon or not, has bared their heart and soul to educate me, us. How do you find these incredible people who have this special ability? These special persons are rare and are able to communicate, truly from the heart. I could never possibly explain how they touch me and have opened my mind and my heart. Their adversity is my education. I am in awe of each and every one of them and you too.
I was born-in JW, and can so relate to her tale. So relatable. Fundamentalism is so toxic, damaging, and even deadly.
Oh, and this isn’t even fundamentalism. This is a much more mild form of Mormonism that she’s talking about.
@@oliveoilchic the mainstream lds faith is fundamentalist christian religion / cult. Steven Hassan, cult expert has included Mormonism and JWs in his work on cult mind control. 100% is a high demand, highly coercive religious organization.
Liked. Shared. Commented. Up the algorithm. End the suffering.
❤
Oh myyyy. This is sooo eye opening! I’m a total stranger to Mormonism or any other religion, but now I understand what’s really happening behind all these perfect Instagram moms’ lives! I was always saying that one can’t be that perfect! All ideally beautiful, organized, finds time for everything, kids are clean and behaved, husband is happy with those perfect meals and ideal house! Noooow it makes sense! I’ve been feeling so not enough looking at their ideal lives! Thank you so much for making it make sense ❤
This was a great interview. It resonated with me on such a deep level. I was in an abusive marriage, physically emotionally verbally and spiritually for 17 years and the main reason I stayed was “families are together forever“ and this is just a really short time in the eternities and when he’s resurrected, he will be mentally healthy and we will be happy and together forever. It took me 17 years to see through the façade thank you so much for sharing your story.
❤️❤️❤️ I’m so glad you got out
So glad you had Jenny on your show /podcast she is amazing and so well spoken. I’m so happy she is creating the life she always wanted now 💕
That was so powerful and relatable. I could have been you, but thank god I was fat. I was so envious of girls like you at BYU. Now I know better. Thanks for being so open and honest.
Well done on telling your story so well. Non Mormon single straight lady here. For a long time through the lens of society, religion, and family, I thought I was a failure as I never met the love of my life, never married or had children. One day at work, I met an old school friend who had met her husband at 13 and married in her early 20s. She said I envy you." I stopped up and asked why she said that she answered I've seen you doing your own thing going places doing different jobs and I envy you your freedom. At this stage she had two kids and was married for a long time. From what she didnt say I gather that her life was less than ideal. It made me review my life and appreciate it . Being single and free and me! Looking at really messy bitter family marriage breakdowns also made me appreciate my life. Yes I would have liked to have had the husband home and family but was a great believer and free to believe that if it was meant to be it would have happened and when it didn't I learned to accept and embrace my life and live it. My parents were married for almost 63 years and were a happy beautiful and equal partnership but I could see that marriage requires work communication and equality as well as each partner having separate interests and being free to pursue them. Getting to know your intended life partner before marriage is essential. And if it works it's amazing, but for many it is far from ideal or the only ideal to have.
If they can only see your outward appearance and reject you for that then none of these guys are worth it. It's the inner person that matters not being a plastic carbon copy doll like creature with no personality. You are worth much more
Same girl, saaame. I got to travel and live on a different continent now. All my friends where I grew up are on their 2nd kid or getting married. But I know that I haven’t seen enough, how are they so sure that this is it? Anywho, I hope for them it is a different outcome. But their men…. Smh
@@anonymousone9699 oh yeah I hear ya girl !!!!
It’s funny how hard it is to be attractive to Mormon boys when living in a purity culture.
In my opinion, Jennie is far too kind to her abusive ex-husband. What a cruel, heartless, predatory man. I hope her kindness is for her own healing and moving forward with her life. She didn’t deserve the way he treated her and their children.
Jennie, you are such an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your story
My heart goes out to you and what you went through. I almost married a narcissist Mormon guy. Thankfully I had a nightmare about being married to him and called it off. Your story hits home for me. The pressure to get married young in that culture is so intense. I’m so happy for you that you’re building the life that you want now ❤️
That was a premonition. Glad you listened ❤️
The way you tell stories is so good! Had me riveted through both episodes! Thank you for sharing your story! ❤❤
Really appreciate be able to hear your story. You’re quite the force!!! Wishing you a very happy life Jennie ❤💗🥰
Thank you ❤
Yay part two. Excited for this. What an amazing interview.
Thank you! I was hoping it would be a quick turn around for part 2. I’m in Australia. Just finished watching…it’s now 2:45M. But it was such a cliff hanger at the end of part 1…I had to watch it straight away. Jennie is amazing. I’m so happy for her in being able to find peace and true love after everything she had been through. Amazing interview. Xx
I’m so glad you watched! My life is a million times happier now.
@@lifetaketwo7662 You are so inspiring, Jennie. I’ve had a few knocks over the last few years. I am in the process of healing. You really resonated with me. I will get through this…I will honour myself and be myself and find the peace, balance and joy. Thank you for sharing your story and replying to me. I feel honoured and seen. Thank you.x
@Cults to Consciousness Shelise and Jonathan. I have been a sub and devotee since the beginning!! I've NEVER had to stop a video bc I FELT such pain in hearing this story. That such indoctrination can do such DAMAGE in just surviving womanhood. Why also I am so thankful that I NEVER got married or had children in ANY religious capacity!! Since I was indoctrinated in church and school to desire nothing else. So happy YOU are BOTH out!!!
That metaphor about the invisible fence and shock collar is so spot on! Thank you for sharing your story!
This interview was awesome. Thank you for all of the work that you do, both of you. ❤
He wasn't attracted to her, but he kept sleeping with her. He is sick, and he hated her.
"I'll love you when..."
"I'll appreciate you if only..."
UN-conditional does not enter, is never possible. Love never enters into this as a possibility. Emotional abuse is a terrible thing.
Thanks for uploading part 2 so fast!!!! Thanks for sharing your story ❤
I recently ran into the paramedic that saved my life when I attempted and was able to tell him that I'm doing better now and that I'm okay. Life will give you reasons to stick around if you stick around to receive them.
❤️❤️❤️
I think what shelise misses with the disclaimer is that plenty of people believe they are choosing the tradwife lifestyle because they wholeheartedly want to. That’s the issue- you believe it’s what you want because you’ve been conditioned to think that is the best thing you could want. I would add that the choosing that is fine as long as both people enter it with full informed consent. Going into it with understanding of abuse and coercion, and how to do the “traditional” thing without being held hostage- even if you believe it’s what you want.
It's not even that they think it's what they want, it's been abuse they've been convinced it's what god wants etc.
And you simply don't know what you don't know. Maybe you've never seen a working mom in your own personal life. That was the case for me. I don't know if I would have wanted to work, but I do know there only seemed to be one "correct" option which was to be "traditional".
I've been binging on your videos and I have to say that you are great interviewer, you are compassion, you asked the right question, and you do it with such empathy.
Hearing all the stories, make me feel fortunate that I was born and raised in a secular environment.
From a young age I always questions things, especially religious.
I remember, when I was 16 I went with a friend to a mall and there was Scientologists who tried to convince us to go to conference, my friend got really excited, and I said to those guys straight to their faces that they are full of b*******.
I do believe that faith and religious can be good in some ways, I don't think that religious people are necessarily in a cult, but I do think that people should be aware the power that religious can have on you.
Hearing this woman story is inspiring. She is courageous and she's beautiful inside and out.
Thank you so much for doing good job bringing out the stories.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Hearing you talk about where you are now after everything... it honestly made tear up. I'm so, so happy you've found yourself and your own joy.
Thank you for sharing your story. You're an inspiration and I am so grateful that you were saved to have a part two. The life that you were truly meant to live. May you forever be blessed and loved and seen.
I'm only halfway through the video and my heart is breaking for you, there is so much there I can relate to from years of abusive relationships and expectations. I just want to give you the biggest hug, you are so amazing, I can't wait to hear how you escaped all that.
In case you read this, Jennie, I'm so proud of you, and leaving the church and telling everyone it's because of their hate is such an amazing thing to do! I certainly wouldn't have had the guts to do this.
Reading! Thank you, big hugs ❤
I wasn't a Mormon but was with someone who did the exact same things. He was 20 years older than me and I was so naive and spineless, I didn't know any better... he was a multi millionaire who had a helicopter to give perspective. He would scream at me for breathing too hard when going to sleep, he changed everything about me. He was a trophy hunter, dressed me, had to have his scrambled eggs a certain way... he also proposed to me (not bc he loved me but to control me) but would threaten not marrying me if he didn't like something I was doing. Fortunately I escaped that and had mandatory therapy bc I got a dwi, that I didn't even know I needed. It saved me tho. And I'm so grateful I escaped that horrible horrible situation ❤❤❤
WOW! That’s awful! Glad you got out
This is just so life affirming and hope filled. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable. You have no idea how many lives that you have changed with your life story. ❤
Thank you
Jenny you can grow your own fig tree. I was just visiting my daughter in Phoenix who had planted a fig tree last year in her backyard. Those figs were harvested with love and they were so delicious. ❤
Wow, you are amazing, Jennie! I relate to many of the things you shared. I admire your strength and am so glad you are now in a much better place and can be unapologetically YOU because you are beautiful inside and out. Thank you again for sharing your story, there are many who are and will be inspired by it. I wish you all the best! Same to you, Shelise!
Loved this interview with Jenny! Loved her metaphor for a relationship, how it's not a dropped pin, but they are literally your partner to reaching a bigger destination in life. Wow!
This was one of the most touching interviews I’ve ever seen on this channel. Thank you so much. 🙏
The masking is very relatable. I had undiagnosed ADHD as a child (didn’t get a diagnosis until my 30’s). I didn’t know why I would get so excitable and say dumb things all the time when I was happy. Peers would roll their eyes and ignore me, and nobody wanted to be friend. I learned pretty quickly that I had to suppress my true self if I was ever going to survive life. “If they see your true personality, they will hate you,” is what I told myself. I kept this message continuous, even at jobs- learning how to stay quiet so I don’t say the wrong thing and fake smile so people wouldn’t ask me “what’s wrong?” I would listen to what others said and mimic their talking style to fit in. If you just say what people want to hear, you can actually blend in quite well.
Problem is, I lost myself and forgot who I really was. And made “friends” who were not really friends at all but controlling, narcissistic, rude and unhappy people. ☹️
Jake seems like a complete gem! While I understand you were both forced to stay in this marriage, there is also something called human kindness. I’m so glad you found your spark and joy because Jake…he’s not worthy of your light!
Jake was a nightmare from beginning to end and still is.
@@lifetaketwo7662 Some people just choose to live in a world of darkness and misery! He tried to take you down BUT goodness ALWAYS prevails!
Gem? Do you not mean abusive narcissist?
@@powderandpaint14 Of course! How could anyone say he was a nice human being? Did you not read the rest of the comment?
Part 2! I'm so excited!
💕keep telling your story. You’re so strong, kind and intelligent. Thank you for sharing your life. Sending you lots of love 🥰
I’m glad you are still here
I believe in second chances ❤ You'll do great things, Ms Jenny 🙏🏼
That story about him making her feel so embarrassed and ashamed of singing that she stopped singing altogether absolutely broke my heart 🥺 She is such a kind soul for being able to have any sympathy for Jake after everything he put her through. Finally deciding to leave everything she knew during that hate filled sermon shows what a loving and strong person she is. I’m so glad she made it out of that cultish hell and finally found happiness. She deserves the world after everything she’s been through and still remaining so kind 💜
Thanks for your work ya'll! I am inspired and respect what ya'll do! I hope to learn and grow from what ya'll put into this. Take care!
Her explaining how she bent and contorted herself to be everything he should want only to be abandoned really got to me. I’ve been single a long time after a series of really abusive relationships and I did a lot of that. I jumped through so many hoops and never felt loved. Hearing her story has really hit home that it’s better to be single, self sufficient and healthy than settle for less.
I was so happy to see this come up! I've been following Jennie on TT for a long time. In fact, she helped me with my own deconstruction (as a never mo). ❤️
Ah yay thanks for following ❤❤❤
Did you know that Brigham loved the theater? He cheated the workers cutting stone for the SLC temple by telling them that it wasn't good enough for the temple but don't worry, I will put it to good use by using it to build my theater. Yeah, he really did this and some other similar things.
I have much of the same experience. I have lost possessions, children, sanity., almost my life more than once. Abuse overwhelming in Marriage for 20 years . I have been alone 22 years. Turning 65. Never found a partner all these years in the church. Finding myself and my own happy ending. Thank you for telling your story .
It boggles my mind that the abusers tend to do the best Valentine's Day.
My partner never remembers Valentine's Day. And I realized that I don't care. What I want is a good man, that is doing small things for me all year round. If he was an a-hole, I would throw the presents, the perfumes, the flowers, in his face.
When she shared about walking out of church, I started bawling. It brought up visceral moments as I was desperately trying to hold my shelf up but could no longer deal with the hate and manipulative rhetoric about hating the sin and loving the sinner. It was the point of coming to church to learn to love and being surrounded by carefully decorated hate that really got me. That was my continual wall. It wasn't love for herself that helped her leave the church but love for others and I really with Mormons and evangelical Christians could see that.
It's insane to me how your family insisted so hard on you marrying a returning missionary and then this guy turned out to be someone who didn't care if he exposed you to all kinds of STDs by cheating. I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation.
She is a great storyteller! I identified a bit with some parts of her story. I love how she stood up during the lesson and walked out.
This was such a good listen. Thank you. Loved the whole tie end of individual sovereignty. :) peace and love sent your way.
Wow! this is the most detail I've ever heard about the temple ceremony... that sounds so surreal! I'm really happy you escaped all of that, you're beautiful inside and out!
She will always be the Mom of her children. Her ex husband is a jerk! She will find life out of the cult so much better with time. I am so sorry for all her suffering💔 Thank you for sharing your life experiences. You are a strong woman who deserves happiness!
He took my kids. I literally wasn’t a mom for a while.
@@lifetaketwo7662🥺 when you skipped over the specifics of your losses I hoped it was for their privacy and feared it was this. I’m so sorry. Even if it had been just for a day, I am so sorry.
Great interview, as usual. ❤ glad she’s happy now. Thanks for posting part 2 so fast.
This is one of the best podcasts I have watched of yours. Your guest is a beautiful person.
Thank you!! 😊🙏
Jennie is so insanely brave..
I could listen to her speak forever.. she’s so calming.
I’m so sorry you went through this abusive relationship 😢
He knowingly had sex and acted innocently when she was getting sick and was having infections from his dirty liaisons, If that had been me i would have gotten him charged. Angry 200% 😠😠👿👿
I know! They couldn't divorce because as a missionary he would loose his eternal soul BUT being promiscuous and committing adultery would have no impact!!!! That is weird.
I am not Mormon, I have never been involved in a high demand Religion, I have never had an abusive partner, I was blessed to grow up with love and encouragement to be whatever I wanted to be from my family… And even still, this podcast is so inspiring. So I can only imagine what it feels like for those who have not had the privilege of love and support that I have had. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for being a message for women that it is never too late to start over and build a happy, healthy, fulfilling life. 💜
Well, Jennie, I find myself giving you a virtual hug two days in a row. Again, I'm glad you're still here to share your story with us. I found myself cheering when you stood up and told your Mormon group that you were leaving and exactly why. Personally, and this is only my opinion, I thought people were supposed to find comfort in religion/church. People these days are trying to move us toward the "Christian based country" they think we were founded on. (I guess deleting the first amendment) I find that people seem so angry in doing this. I guess my point being, people are being told to hate this and shun that. Doesn't seem very Christian to me which is why I dropped out decades ago. My life is guided by empathy, sympathy and understanding. I can disagree with someone and still find common ground upon which to maintain a friendship. Hatred is just not in my DNA and i make no apologies for that. It took me a while but at 61, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I'm glad you're getting there earlier.
I enjoy enjoy watching both of your channels ladies. Keep up the great work 👍 ❤
Totally agree to all of this. It’s been hard work for me to be even just a little bit comfortable in my own skin.
Thank you both. Priceless interview. More of the same please. I am saddened at yet another life - of countless others - stolen/derailed by the Mormon Church. I am encouraged by how much stronger and more powerful Jennie’s natural soul is than the Mormon evil she was born into. I understand this well. (author In Polygamy’s Shadow)