John is awesome, when she said “whole group is supposed to go but ends up only them 2 in a car rental.” That’s a huge red flag. They go to the bar until 10:30pm that’s showing a close relationship already. Her gut feeling is absolutely right the affair is already happening. The direct approach is correct.
I was married to my first husband for three years. I noticed he started to change. I went to my attorney and had him draw up divorce papers. I kept them in my purse. I decided to follow him one day. Sure enough, I saw him with another woman. I walked into the restaurant and said to him “These are divorce papers. Have your attorney contact mine.” She was taken a back. I don’t think she knew he was married. It felt good after putting myself through distress about it.
@@sitcomchristian6886 when the man starts changing, staying out, changing how he dresses, he’s always got “a dinner meeting” when he’s not a salesman, he’s texting a lot, he’s up to something. If the woman thinks he’s cheating, there are always signs. Women change too when they cheat. If you think it, find out. But nine times out of ten they are cheating. You telling me you wouldn’t notice when your spouse changes, if you have one? When you’ve been with someone long enough you learn their patterns. People are creatures of habit when they’ve been married long enough.
@@sitcomchristian6886 people are creatures of habit when they’ve been married long enough. You get to know their pattern. Changing the way one dresses, always going out, texting a lot, going in another room to text and pulling away are some of the signs. After being shut out, I wasn’t going to give him the chance to get more clever. If you think they are cheating, nine times out of ten they are. I was going out on my terms. And he paid the price. If you’re going to cheat, get a divorce first. You’re just giving the other person more ammunition to use against you in court.
@@sitcomchristian6886 people are creatures of habit when they’ve been married long enough. You get to know their patterns. They start changing, texting more, going in the other room to text, going out a lot, come on. If you think they are cheating, nine times out of ten they are. I was going out on my terms and he lost.
If you a need a PI for your relationship, it’s already over. Doesn’t matter if someone’s guilty or not guilty at that point. Your trust is gone already.
@@DrCbass123 the PI is not for the mending of the relationship. It's for proof. I agree is someone needs to hire a PI then it's over. But clearly this person needs proof to bring to HR. also having proof helps with closure.
She’s higher up though 😢 she’s in quite the pickle but I think she should go with her gut too. Cheating is definitely my exit. 😢😢 it hurts to hear it wasn’t hers in the past. It can be, girlie. It should be. There’s your out. You’re a lover girl and you deserve a lover boy.
It was the lying about who was in the rental car and attending dinner/drinks that made me think the caller has a reason to be concerned. I'm glad John changed his mind.
That but for me it isn’t that there was some expectation that their communication be constant. That isn’t reasonable but it’s clear she didn’t have that as her expectation. What bugs me and sets my alarms off is that he never made an effort to get in contact with her when he was available to make those contacts when he was traveling. Instead his reactions were to always have an excuse as to why they couldn’t communicate pretty much at all and got angry about it. That for me says not everything is on the up and up. Being angry almost always says something is there. When I travel for work I’m not in constant contact with my wife but I make an active effort to contact her and explain my ability to connect to her. The active effort to be transparent to her about it nips those worries in the bud because the issue is the efforts he puts in for his boss and his active effort to not meet her fiancé at any level.
I work for an attorney and whenever his gf calls while we’re in a meeting he always says hey and let’s her know that he’s in a meeting with me and still ask her what’s going on, he addresses whatever reason she called and always ends the call with an I love you. This guy is playing in the caller’s face. Your suspicions are accurate, he’s a confirmed and continuing cheater.
Yeah, absolutely! My husband travels extensively for work. He would just step out for a second to talk. He lets me know the time of important meetings so that I don’t call at that time. And, he calls every morning and evening and tells me everyplace they go. Trust is imperative!
If it’s an emergency I get it, but if it’s just to talk then it can wait. It’s rude to expect someone to stop eating at a group meal just because you want to chat with them on the phone.
I'm a 42-year old woman. I wouldn't. I always excuse myself when I have private calls. My colleagues do not need to know what my private business is about.
I bet the only people at the work.breakfast are the boss lady and him. She , the boss is trying to move in on him. He may be going with it. He may be just trying to do his job in a very awkward position. The fact she refuses to talk to her is a clear sign she wants your fiance.
@@elijahpiere5324 Not at all. Telling her to marry someone who is already making her uncomfortable is more like wishing for someone's imprisonment (hers).
Gosh, I can't imagine cheating on someone who's told you their past marriage ended in infidelity. That's really pouring salt on the wound of a vulnerable person. Gross
I keep hearing women say not to tell your potential mates that bad things that your exes have done to you, because it lets them know what they think they can get away with. I think they may be right.
@@robynpayne9448yes, I’ve been cheated on in my past relationship and I’m afraid to tell my next partner. I constantly hear people say “not all men” but I think a majority of men are cheaters and if you let them know your story before had it gives them an upper hand in the relationship because now they think they can treat you anyway they want to and you will still stay.
@@robynpayne9448 If you are a good woman and love your man he won't cheat. We really are that simple. If you nit pick and nag or whatever and he is financially trapped with you or you have kids with him he will cheat. If there is no tie to you he will dump you and move on. All of this therapy crap makes me laugh. All they do is agree with you and take your money. Too easy. Its like stealing from children.
@@foardhook People don't cheat because their partner is lacking. They cheat because they are insecure and lack self-control. If you try to fix yourself to fix a cheating partner, you are insuring that you will always feel undeserving, because their infidelity is about THEIR character, and not about their partner.
@@deb9806 not bing married doesn't mean he's single. Sorry he's been in a relationship for 5 years he has no right to waste her time or cheat and lie to her. Not everyone these days gets married. Commitment is everything married or not
I appreciate that John was able to continue the call and admit that he was wrong with his initial belief that it was all in her head. Some UA-camrs latch onto a belief and never turn away from it. Good job John!
... yeah that's actually when I disconnected because it almost sounded like it wasn't what she wanted to hear so she doubled down and provided details that perhaps she should have led with if real (because those are serious, more personal and cutting factors). So maybe the guy has some issues there but who knows.
Having been married to someone who was cheating our whole marriage and his reaction to her concerns, something is going on. The fact that the woman was awkward around her almost confirms it even more. She should hire a private investigator, seriously. Don’t drag it out. Spidey senses here….chances are HE WON’T ADMIT IT. Hire a private investigator. He’s gotten away with it for this long, he likes the current situation. She needs proof to end it.
If you ever need to hire a PI just end it. If the PI comes back and says nothing happened is she going to tell him she hired a PI? Or just lie and act like nothing happened. no need to waste more money its over at that point.
bag the wasted money on a private detective. the guys a dirt-bag cheater; ditch him! EVEN if he came clean on this one, he'll cheat again, because her concerns are dismissed with his anger; he's doing what serves him to his own selfish pleasure.
If he gets angry when she brings the topic up either he’s cheating, he’s not cheating but he can’t respond to her needs, or she’s overly paranoid. In any case the relationship is doomed and proof doesn’t change that
He’s not gonna confess and tell the truth, because his employment and personal life is on the line. He’s gonna lie until he’s caught red handed, and he’ll even probably try to lie if she actually does catch him. She should just leave his sorry arse. If he’s already cheating, he doesn’t even like her. Next. Why torture yourself with this jerk?
Back before there was the term "emotional affair" I knew a woman whose husband had 2 emotional affairs over the years. She ended up feeling worthless as these women took up more of his time and energy than she did. In fact, she begged him to come home earlier as he had the only car and they had 2 little kids. But because they weren't physical affairs. She didn't know what to do. Years later she divorced him. But it was still several years after the divorce that the term emotional affair became a well known word describing an affair that is just as devastating and a physical one. The physical one is worse only in the fact that you can get diseases from it. They both tear families apart.
@@deb9806 100% - If I were her, I would look for a hidden burner phone (likely in his car), check the call / text history on his regular phone and also the Google history to see what he is up to. If he has a search engine that burns all traces of his searches that’s a HUGE red flag. Those who have nothing to hide - hide nothing.
I worked with a married guy that I'm still cool with to this day. Thing is, I made it a point to get to know his wife because I know how people can assume things. I like her better than him 🤣🤣 we've hung out together several times and she's the coolest chick!!! I can see why he's so in love with her ❤️
Same. one of my classmates is a guy, and we became really good friends and he's married. Whenever he travels for work, I tell him to send his wife my phone number so I can help her with the kids. And one time I had to let him know of another classmate who made me extremely uncomfortable and I insisted he tells his wife of the conversation we had, out of respect for her and their relationship, because even though I consider him a brother, it is still disrespectful to his wife to talk to her husband behind her back about how another classmate made me uncomfortable by saying sexual things to me.
Thank YOU for being that woman! I am leaving a man-boy of too many years that likes to "hang out" with females behind my back without telling me and lying about it. When I was sitting next to his phone one evening a female's name I've never heard of popped up on his caller i.d. when she was calling. Of course it was oh she's just a good friend, she connected with me on FB we were best friends for ages all thru high school and after had some really good times, nothing for you to worry about. etc etc etc...My thing is Oh okay I get it...an old friend nothing to worry about okay then why have I never heard of her or met her(bcz after several min I got him to admit that he had been talking on the phone with her and then found out they had been hanging out) and we've been together almost 6 years. And why is she calling you at 2:30 AM on a Saturday night...bars closing....??? She showed up shortly after. Gasp! if you're only talking on the phone HOW does she know where you live BIG GUY. Needless to say I answered the door and as she tried to scurry off I grabbed her arm and said "oh no no no come on in! He's here. I really am dying to meet you!" She came in and as much of a joke she ended up looking like she did me a huge favor. But ONLY because she got caught off guard. She knew right away there would be no bullshitting me. I'm grateful she was dumb enough to show up but women like you who are truly just friends tend to come forward EARLY on and approach the wife. This is how I handle my guy friends and their significant others and I don't even entertain a friendship with a taken guy that even remotely flirts or comes off as someone who would step out on their person.
Yes, exactly! Don’t have “work spouses”, have “work siblings”- draw a very bold line in the sand🙏🏼 I always joke that I’m the “annoying little/big sister”, just so hopefully no one gets the wrong idea. I had a manager who’s girlfriend would drop in now and then, and I tried to get to know her and make it very obvious that I was supportive of their relationship. If I had to text him, I’d always make a point of mentioning, “Say hey to [GF] for me!” or something like that, just so that it was clear I was only discussing work things and clearly still acknowledged/respected his partner.
I’m a man, I’ve been in a lot of relationships in my life. The only reason you would get angry at a woman asking about this is because she keeps asking and she won’t take your answer or you have something to hide. I think this guy is something to hide. Good luck.
@@myflippinlife181 Being a man saying what women want to hear? Surely you can understand being accused of something constantly thats not true and getting upset. We don’t know the full story, only her side. Wish we could hear the guys side too
His emotional response provides no insight into whether he was cheating or not. As you say, he’s either mad because she’s accusing him constantly of something he isn’t doing or he’s hiding something. So he’s either cheating or he’s not….no insight gained.
Dr. Jon is soooooo right!! The fact that he’s worrying more about his appearance is a huge red flag. That’s the number one thing people do when they cheat. I was her do not marry this man! Save yourself the heartache and expense of going through a divorce. Your intuition is always right. Trust it every single time!
I bet she can't look at phone (before he deletes things) or knows password after 4 years. Going out at odd times, maybe meeting her at gym (what if she wanted to go?) The coolness from the boss is a glaring sign unless she's a cold hearted woman with no conscience at all
Or he is just trying to better himself and she is over reacting? you only heard one very bias side of someone who seems to get jealous easily. She seems very clingy and just wants him all to herself. Who hurt you so bad to think that negatively? Not everyone is a cheater. you are gonna live a lonely life if you dont change that mindset
I’m glad John changed his mind later in the call and said after hearing how her boyfriend and his lady boss have reacted/responded that he now feels the caller’s intuition is correct. I was glad John changed his mind because I’m sure lots of us were yelling at the screen for her to listen to her intuition. So sad for her, but better to find out prior to marriage.
Same. My red flags went up as she described fiancé's reactions and when John gave the advice on how to approach the convo and she said I already did, it was clear.
I disagree with John on this one. I think there’s enough here to suspect that something is going on. I have been married for 11 years, and I would NEVER end a call with my wife without saying “I love you”, doesn’t matter who I’m with. Because, simply put, my viewpoint towards everyone else in my life (either personal or business-related) is this: if you, me and my wife were on a boat, and it was sinking, I would step on your face to save my wife!!! And EVERYONE in my life - whether friends or business associates - knows that this is how I feel. I mean, for goodness sakes her husband won’t answer her call because he’s at a bar?! She absolutely has a right to be upset and suspicious!!!!
Bottom line, it still all come back to her. It's up to her if she's willing to tolerate her fiance's behavior. If she already has a suspicion that he's cheating but is still willing to tolerate his behavior then it's on her. She'll get what she's willing to tolerate.
Soooo many people find time to scroll through social media, news articles, stock picks etc during their work hours...a quick text "thinking bout ya sexy lady" is just as easy!
@@christophercarrigg3775 How old are you?? Lol You seem like you're just a lil babyyyyy new to reality. Poor kid. Wait til you get played. Wait til you have a sneaky hot chick you're madly into turn your world upside down. Then you'll eventually start a new relationship and the first "off" sign you notice...oh boy. Curtains. Hopefully you don't have constant flash backs of this obvious ignorant and clueless comment you made! Because if you truly think this lady is acting like a psychopath, you must not have much experience Lmao. You have to just be a troll right? Come on. Grow up if you're not. Life can be brutal. Especially when it needs to be. And especially when we make heartless judgments and accusations like you make. Be careful what you say about others. Be very very careful.
The man is cheating and everyone knows it - the caller , her bf, the other woman, John, the listeners and the office colleagues. No one is saying it out loud though.
Gut intuition is normally right! My ex husband cheated on me and I had a dream about it, he was in the movie theater with the girl a few weeks before it happened and later I found out he went to the movies with the girl.
I saw an office affair occur at one of my jobs, and it was so cringe and uncomfortable to be around. The wife even invited her husband to holiday parties and work events where spouses could attend... and then she would go cheat and do drugs with another man at our office. It was disgusting and abhorrent. She is a true POS. Any person that meets someone through an affair and doesn't think that person will do the same to them is a fool. She ended up divorcing her husband and is now married and has a baby with the man she cheated with. People are crazy!
as a reformed serial cheater, i recognize a lot of these patterns of cheating 😅😅😅 I mean, consistently not answering the phone and then gaslighting your partner with an excuse... shaving/grooming yourself all-of-a-sudden, but not for intimacy with your partner, OOF, big one...
@@abnattitudeum… that’s not true lol. i’ve never cheating and would never cheat, but people can cheat and then never cheat again. a reformed cheater just won’t reform for any individual person, it has to be mental growth and realizing the damage that cheating does.
I dated my wife for anout 8 months before we declared it exclusive. Then we dated about 2 years. Then we got engaged. And my wife had some specifics about when and where we got married so out engagement was over a year and a half. So by the time we got married it was close to 4.5 years. Just saying. She doesn’t say why they aren’t married yet. Or at least not in any great detail. Just sayin 🤷♂️
BS depends on the age the agreement and the goals of the couple … I wanted to finish my PhD first before marriage I did so and we married after 7 years - so many people in the US marry after only 2 years just to discover that they don’t even know each other. If you marry after 2 years you go from “new relationship energy to pre wedding energy” and then to divorce after 7 years congrats
I used to travel all the time for work. I always made time to talk to my wife. No one cares if I stepped away from the breakfast table to take a call from her. A lot of guys do that. Even if it's just for a minute. Something is fishy here.
Hell I care. I'm not giving up precious time to talk small talk with my wife at breakfast. I go all week without talking to her if I'm a way. We are not joined at the hip, if I'm a way that's it unless someone died. Leave me alone. I love her to bits and we have a great relationship and been together 30y. That's why. we trust each other.
Don’t marry this guy until he’s a hundred percent honest about this boss. Even if he gets angry, if he can’t talk abt this calmly then he’s not going to be a good partner in marriage. Rooting for you Diana!
Johns example to her as to how he can even be on the road and answer his wife's call even on stage is a true example that a man or woman who truly loves you will answer your call no matter what....there should never be a time when your call should be ignored not for hours.
I’ve learned this principle from my mother. It’s funny how they say your parents are who you find in your spouse. I get “I love you” texts from her all the time and wondering how I am doing. And if I dont respond within a couple of days, she calls me to “check up on me.” It’s as much an I miss you to her as it is, hey you should learn to not leave me wondering how you’re doing. I’m thankful for those lessons she taught to be open about what I hope for with my spouse.
While I agree with your sentiment, that's certainly not a true statement, if taken literally. There's plenty of valid reasons why someone may not be able to access their phone for hours.
No, not for hours, I agree. There are times where it's just terrible timing and either I or her cannot answer. I like to plan talk time when I'm on the road/traveling (Which is rare but it happens). Like 8:30pm or 9pm and then video chat or something. She also knows I/she can almost always text, but I can't voice at that moment.
just from hearing her side it sounds like she has a good reason to be suspicious, I don't know if he's cheating or not. I'd put it at 50/50 but I see her POV.
Her intuition is correct! If you have to call and ask, you already know the answer! Edit; the stand off ish vibe from the boss is typical of a woman who’s intimidated by her finding out she likes the callers husband and has something going on with him! Very typical! If you missed the first few red flags, this one is a dead giveaway! 🚩
@@ugabuga1361 who the heck cares if it’s different or same?! The callers fiancée is showing every red flag that he shouldn’t be trusted. And you watch F&F? Pass.
@@RealityHurts923 Of course we need to hear his side, but it's not our judgment to make, it's hers. Given the information she has (or thinks she has), her conclusion seems sound.
@@austininflorida "Not out judgment to make" is exactly the point of my comment you responded too, yet here you are doing just that, judging the man base on one persons side. I just want to here the other side, that's all. Hope you never serve on a jury.
@@COINsimp2024 You sure? I just read that six states recognize it and that's its mostly outdated. I imagine people would be giving all sorts of outlandish reasons blaming someone for a relationship disintegrating
As a single guy, this is a comment for all the men out there. Us guys have plenty of male friends in our circle. She's describing our boy who typically cheats. Because on the other end we also have a guy in our group who is madly in love and is our role model of what to be one day if us single guys were ever to be in a relationship. This guy is one of the bad ones unfortunately 😂
Why don't men call out other men like this? I've never heard of a female friend group who's like "that's our girl who typically cheats." Most women don't want to be associated with a woman who is KNOWN for cheating. Some men don't hold each other accountable for doing shitty things because they want the option to do it themselves.
@@lav7161 Nope, it’s not common for women. I can tell you firsthand as a woman who has belonged to female friend groups and observed female friend groups. It’s not common for us to have a “cheating” friend who everyone just accepts. You can ask every woman you know.
Having the adult conversation will make or break you. Either way it’s for the best. Open conversation is key to a successful relationship. If you can’t trust or communicate with your person, it’s only a matter of time.
@@jeanlaubenthal698 agreed. One of the best lessons a person can learn in life is when they need to walk away from a relationship, and ACTUALLY doing so. I’ve wasted to many years holding onto toxic relationship. Live and learn. 👍
Former work wife here (was young and dumb in early 20s). So essentially, they PROBABLY are not having a physical affair... It sounds like the behaviors may lead to one. Regardless, it's clear to me he's vented details of your relationship that he shouldn't under the guise of getting advice. That's why she doesn't know how to behave around you, she only knows his version of you, which is probably fairly negative. Rare is it that unmarried men share lots of positive intimate info about women they're dating. He's having an 'oh, sallywhoever gets me' phase, and now he's peacocking for her. When you call when a group is together, it only exacerbates the issue, because now the appearance is that you're a ball and chain, and she'll pity him for his perceived home life. 😔 My personal advice is to ask him once and for all, and lean back. I don't think you'll actually trust him in the long run.
Oh my god!! Are you single? LOL I think you are the one. lol you are absolutely spot on..................I know you are with a great man because you deserve it. You are a very very rear gem and he is a lucky man.
So basically.... Diana: My husband has been acting shady, lying, and being alone with this girl. Dr John: It's all in your head. Diana: And the woman isn't nice to me. Dr John: Oh, he's cheating.
I disagree with John. I experienced this with someone and when I confronted, I was right. We then established boundaries, no private dinners on travel (that’s a date) no road trips alone, etc.
Major red flags! I feel 100% he’s cheating or about to. I hope she gets out now. I ignored these kind of red flags and got married anyway…and he cheated! I could have saved myself a divorce had I not ignored the signs.
I appreciated John’s honesty… some shows like to stay positive but it’s always better to tell the truth. He may not be cheating but his behavior is inappropriate and he is not putting his future wife above others. They should be merging as one. She is not asking for him to disrespect his work nor do anything illegal. She just want to feel wanted and important in his life. The honeymoon phase is over before it even started 😔 I wish for the best for her 💜
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.” ― Kahlil Gibran This quote is sooooo true. I'd end the engagement. State the reasons you are doing so in a kind way and let go. Keep the drama to a minimum. It hurts like hell, but you will feel so much better. Starting a marriage with so much uncertainty is no way to start a marriage. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. It always does. Have faith in that.
100% agreed with you. If she already has to ask this question, then most likely she already knew the answer. "In life, we don't get what we deserve, we get what we're willing to tolerate" -Tony Robbins. If she's willing to tolerate this, then who am I to say anything.
When guys cheat it’s for sex. When girls cheat it’s for a new man. Don’t leave him. He loves you. All guys want to cheat. All of them. If they say they don’t they are lying. Cheating is for girls. It’s a double standard for a reason. A girl. Fresh and fit podcast
Oh this woman is not delusional at all. It took me one glance over at my exboyfriend and his new friend to know they fancied each other. 2 years of being insecure about them and then finding out I was right all along. I’m not saying her husband and his colleague have cheated, but the alarm bells are not going off for nothing. She just doesn’t understand them yet. Always listen to your gut.
If you're afraid to lose someone, you will always go the route of comforting them when they're worried, etc, and reassuring them, you would never fight back at them. Also, you might even consider getting a new job.
Im a middle aged man, that works in an environment with a lot of other rough males. Everyone of them tells their spouses that they love them, regardless of whos around
Cheating or not, without trust, you do not have a quality relationship. She doesn't trust him. To marry would create a miserable private investigator experience. Also if communication turns to an argument... that doesn't bode well for a marriage.
My friend works for a company that they all know that the boss is sleeping with her engaged employee. She's married too. But no one will tell the significant others.
@Bringon-dw8dx it's fine if it's work but several people are going, and it's only for a quick happy hour thing. If it goes late, though... that's just a recipe for disaster, even when it's not just two people. Nobody should over-imbibe around people they work with.
Let's not mince words...he is 1000% having an affair with his boss. I absolutely disagree with John on this one. On work trips - you don't have to spend every waking minute with your other work colleagues. You can take time away from them to check-in with your spouse and you should. Sorry, Diana, but your red flags are completely valid. Ditch this guy.
I know this isn’t a scientific fact, but I have never seen or heard of anyone who gets defensive about something who is innocent of what they are suspected of (in a relationship setting). He would be apologetic and work to build trust with his partner and set up boundaries. Either that or she is super paranoid and nags him about it all the time, which doesn’t sound like the case.
I feel the opposite is true: look for videos of people being accused of crimes when they're innocent. Men, most likely, explode. Those that are guilty act timid and say stuff like, "I'm not the type of person that would do that."
When there are important issues that need to be discussed, they need to be discussed, but the constant whining about items on the counter and in the refrigerator not being arranged properly...naaaaah
@Guts I'm a guy and if I ever get accused of anything I don't explode and instead I get shocked and somewhat act as if I'm guilty. Sometimes I would even walk into a store and feel guilty walking out without buying something because I think the workers probably think I'm stealing.
I got angry with a partner that was ALWAYS accusing me.. but that came after probably a year of me denying it nicely and changing whatever behaviors he said were suspicious.. I started getting angry when I realized he was using accusations to be controlling and when I realized he was always accusing me bc he was a cheater lol
My first question would have been what was his reaction when you raised your concerns with him? Anger he’s up to something. If your partner isn’t trying to understand your partner pain somethings up.
This is heartbreaking! I feel for this lady. Even if she had been with him for five months it would still hurt but five years?? And engaged too? Wow, that’s so hard to overcome.
Do not even think about marrying this man until you feel more secure. You don't trust him. Not sure if it warranted or not. You didn't mention when you were getting married. It doesn't look to me like he is hiding anything but many things seem to trigger you.
This lady knows things are over because they are not compatible. Just end it and find love outside of the workplace. It’s too much to do work and relationship in the same place. I hope she finds peace and happiness. ✨💖✨
This sounds like a past relationship that i was in. It ended after 2.5 years literally two weeks before we were supposed to get married. She accused me of being shady after 1 year. She would go through my phone while i slept all the time and question my conversations with customers that were female even tho there was nothing unprofessional at all. I started to change over time and pull back and act different because i was just so over it that i finally left. The final straw was she went through my phone 5 days in a row right in front of me. I handed her my phone and i just couldn’t do it anymore. Sounds like this guy is making distance because he’s frustrated.
Major red flag if the woman can't even look you in the eye. Even if there isnt proof there's an emotional/physical affair, her reaction to her is a sign that his boss clearly thinks she is doing something wrong. My husband has invited the kids and I to the office to meet his coworkers. I know some of the women have probably had crushes on him bc he's a good looking guy, but he is very open and frequent on bragging on his wife and kids at work and how happy he is. No one has ever been hesitant to meet my eye or introduce themselves.
I’ve been in this situation before and his advice in terms of approach to conversation is 100% spot on. You can’t stop people from liking you however you have absolute control over how you respond on the situations that you put yourself in.
He’s definitely cheating 💯 Dr. John Deloney- why aren’t you hearing her? His boss asked “who are you talking to?” Only girlfriends and wives ask that! Come on…. 🤦🏼♀️ To the caller… your man is a liar and cheating on you. I’d put my life on it.
-His communication is less frequent and his appearance is more efficient...that should raise an inner alarm and questioned because we communicate less with what is deemed a lesser priority. A quick text during lunch that he is with his friends and that he is anticipating hearing her voice later would be courteous and thoughtful. We usually dress to impress, so who is he trying to impress. We dress better when our confidence is raised, so who or what has increased/challenged his confidence? -When a man can say a simple "I love you" to you around other people, but not around a specific woman, the chances he has erotic feelings for that woman is highly probable. -When someone gets harshly questioned about something, we naturally get extra defensive, but I'm guessing she has asked him about this woman in a decent tone, and an infuriating response from him is a red flag, lack of competent emotional maturity, and the wedding plans need to be canceled if he cannot have sensitive conversations with a peaceful demeanor
My ex and I worked together and I watched him become friends with, then have an affair with, another coworker. We all still work for same company and they are living together and engaged. I got to watch it all unfold while constantly being told I was crazy and they’re just friends.
She needs to trust her gut. If it seems like he's reluctant to have the boss lady or anyone else know he's on a call wih her, he's being sneaky. The sudden interest in leveling up his grooming, etc is an age-old sign. Girl, get the hell out.
Whether he's cheating or not, she knows he's lied to her about specific situations involving the boss. That's enough of a red flag
John is awesome, when she said “whole group is supposed to go but ends up only them 2 in a car rental.” That’s a huge red flag. They go to the bar until 10:30pm that’s showing a close relationship already. Her gut feeling is absolutely right the affair is already happening. The direct approach is correct.
I was married to my first husband for three years. I noticed he started to change. I went to my attorney and had him draw up divorce papers. I kept them in my purse. I decided to follow him one day. Sure enough, I saw him with another woman. I walked into the restaurant and said to him “These are divorce papers. Have your attorney contact mine.” She was taken a back. I don’t think she knew he was married. It felt good after putting myself through distress about it.
Bless you! Having a sense of control makes a difference. Wishing you a joyous life filled with peace, happiness, and authentic love.
Did you never talk to him about it before lawyering up? 😯
@@sitcomchristian6886 when the man starts changing, staying out, changing how he dresses, he’s always got “a dinner meeting” when he’s not a salesman, he’s texting a lot, he’s up to something. If the woman thinks he’s cheating, there are always signs. Women change too when they cheat. If you think it, find out. But nine times out of ten they are cheating. You telling me you wouldn’t notice when your spouse changes, if you have one? When you’ve been with someone long enough you learn their patterns. People are creatures of habit when they’ve been married long enough.
@@sitcomchristian6886 people are creatures of habit when they’ve been married long enough. You get to know their pattern. Changing the way one dresses, always going out, texting a lot, going in another room to text and pulling away are some of the signs. After being shut out, I wasn’t going to give him the chance to get more clever. If you think they are cheating, nine times out of ten they are. I was going out on my terms. And he paid the price. If you’re going to cheat, get a divorce first. You’re just giving the other person more ammunition to use against you in court.
@@sitcomchristian6886 people are creatures of habit when they’ve been married long enough. You get to know their patterns. They start changing, texting more, going in the other room to text, going out a lot, come on. If you think they are cheating, nine times out of ten they are. I was going out on my terms and he lost.
*DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN*
Hire a P.I and get evidence and then go to HR.
If you a need a PI for your relationship, it’s already over. Doesn’t matter if someone’s guilty or not guilty at that point. Your trust is gone already.
@@DrCbass123 the PI is not for the mending of the relationship. It's for proof.
I agree is someone needs to hire a PI then it's over. But clearly this person needs proof to bring to HR. also having proof helps with closure.
Best. Comment. Ever.
She’s higher up though 😢 she’s in quite the pickle but I think she should go with her gut too. Cheating is definitely my exit. 😢😢 it hurts to hear it wasn’t hers in the past. It can be, girlie. It should be. There’s your out. You’re a lover girl and you deserve a lover boy.
Shes super insecure
It was the lying about who was in the rental car and attending dinner/drinks that made me think the caller has a reason to be concerned. I'm glad John changed his mind.
That but for me it isn’t that there was some expectation that their communication be constant. That isn’t reasonable but it’s clear she didn’t have that as her expectation. What bugs me and sets my alarms off is that he never made an effort to get in contact with her when he was available to make those contacts when he was traveling. Instead his reactions were to always have an excuse as to why they couldn’t communicate pretty much at all and got angry about it. That for me says not everything is on the up and up.
Being angry almost always says something is there. When I travel for work I’m not in constant contact with my wife but I make an active effort to contact her and explain my ability to connect to her. The active effort to be transparent to her about it nips those worries in the bud because the issue is the efforts he puts in for his boss and his active effort to not meet her fiancé at any level.
He is probably lying to deflect her worry because he knows how controlling she is
I work for an attorney and whenever his gf calls while we’re in a meeting he always says hey and let’s her know that he’s in a meeting with me and still ask her what’s going on, he addresses whatever reason she called and always ends the call with an I love you.
This guy is playing in the caller’s face. Your suspicions are accurate, he’s a confirmed and continuing cheater.
In fairness the dynamic is different, you work for your boss, he can do whatever he wants. This guy isn't a boss, so it really may not be possible
Have you ever been tempted to tell his wife?
@@karri8998 she will be his wife. They’re engaged now.
@@amilcarballantyneyeah yeah. Excuses excuses.
You can answer the phone during breakfast with work colleagues. It’s not a business meeting, it’s breakfast.
Yeah, absolutely! My husband travels extensively for work. He would just step out for a second to talk. He lets me know the time of important meetings so that I don’t call at that time. And, he calls every morning and evening and tells me everyplace they go. Trust is imperative!
If it’s an emergency I get it, but if it’s just to talk then it can wait. It’s rude to expect someone to stop eating at a group meal just because you want to chat with them on the phone.
I'm a 42-year old woman. I wouldn't. I always excuse myself when I have private calls. My colleagues do not need to know what my private business is about.
It's rude to interrupt breakfast with your girlfriend 🥐
I bet the only people at the work.breakfast are the boss lady and him. She , the boss is trying to move in on him. He may be going with it. He may be just trying to do his job in a very awkward position. The fact she refuses to talk to her is a clear sign she wants your fiance.
This is her woman intuition kicking in and she is definitely not wrong.
My ex cheated with his female boss. He denied it over and over again and made me feel stupid and crazy but I refuse to push aside my intuition.
Same intuition that fooled you to messing with him in the first place. Initiation my buttocks lmao
That feeling is really something else, isn't it? For me it's like a terrible ringing in the ears I can't ignore
No matter if it's an emotional affair or a sexual affair, it's still an affair. She should trust her intuition.
Especially since she's been through this type of thing before.
Even if it's no kind of affair, his behavior is shady. I would dump him for being shady. No affair needed.
@@PS-qn4ozthat’s like a judge saying “even if y’all have no proof of this person doing any wrong, still lock him up & throw away the keys.”
@@elijahpiere5324 Not at all. Telling her to marry someone who is already making her uncomfortable is more like wishing for someone's imprisonment (hers).
Gosh, I can't imagine cheating on someone who's told you their past marriage ended in infidelity. That's really pouring salt on the wound of a vulnerable person. Gross
I keep hearing women say not to tell your potential mates that bad things that your exes have done to you, because it lets them know what they think they can get away with. I think they may be right.
@@robynpayne9448yes, I’ve been cheated on in my past relationship and I’m afraid to tell my next partner. I constantly hear people say “not all men” but I think a majority of men are cheaters and if you let them know your story before had it gives them an upper hand in the relationship because now they think they can treat you anyway they want to and you will still stay.
My question would be why would my partners want to cheat on me? Why am I not enough? I would then fix that. But I guess that is too logical.
@@robynpayne9448 If you are a good woman and love your man he won't cheat. We really are that simple. If you nit pick and nag or whatever and he is financially trapped with you or you have kids with him he will cheat. If there is no tie to you he will dump you and move on. All of this therapy crap makes me laugh. All they do is agree with you and take your money. Too easy. Its like stealing from children.
@@foardhook People don't cheat because their partner is lacking. They cheat because they are insecure and lack self-control. If you try to fix yourself to fix a cheating partner, you are insuring that you will always feel undeserving, because their infidelity is about THEIR character, and not about their partner.
I knew he was cheating the first 2 minutes of the call
John never asked if she was married or committed. If not they both are single and the only thing holding them back is she is his boss.
Yep it happened to me
@@deb9806 not bing married doesn't mean he's single. Sorry he's been in a relationship for 5 years he has no right to waste her time or cheat and lie to her. Not everyone these days gets married. Commitment is everything married or not
@@deb9806 Then I suppose she can sleep around and expose him to disease too? Cheating is disgusting for multiple reasons.
@@slothisasin8240 I agree, cheating and being selfish and dishonest is never good
Her partner is being dismissive! His anger is a telltale sign.
People also get mad when accused of something they didn't do. It a tell-tale sign lol.
Yup!
You know the truth, girl. My ex denied it for YEARS!!! Randomly got a text one night apologizing. You know..
Look up fresh and fit.
@Uga buga terrible advice. Those dudes are teenagers trapped in older bodies
Nah. Don't follow FreshandFit. Bad advice.
@@ugabuga1361 dude what. Those guys are the worst.
@@ugabuga1361Why on earth would you point them to those clowns?
I appreciate that John was able to continue the call and admit that he was wrong with his initial belief that it was all in her head. Some UA-camrs latch onto a belief and never turn away from it. Good job John!
He changed his mind after she told more detailed information. That's the clue for anyone calling in to a show like this.
So I should have continued to listen. My bad.
... yeah that's actually when I disconnected because it almost sounded like it wasn't what she wanted to hear so she doubled down and provided details that perhaps she should have led with if real (because those are serious, more personal and cutting factors). So maybe the guy has some issues there but who knows.
Intuition is almost never wrong in my experience!
Yeah, because people are never wrong 😂
If female intuition was so accurate, the divorce rate wouldn't be above 50% with 75% of the divorces initiated by women.
@@Guts318 Come on now, you know most of us men cheat all the time. I don't blame them for getting the divorce most of the time
@@lav7161 an admitted cheater and white knight. You're a rare one.
@Will Iam79 A follower who thinks he knows everything with no experience. You're NOT a rare one. Continue being a YES MAN
Having been married to someone who was cheating our whole marriage and his reaction to her concerns, something is going on. The fact that the woman was awkward around her almost confirms it even more. She should hire a private investigator, seriously. Don’t drag it out. Spidey senses here….chances are HE WON’T ADMIT IT. Hire a private investigator. He’s gotten away with it for this long, he likes the current situation. She needs proof to end it.
No need to waste money on a PI. She knows what's happening. Whether or not she wants to face it is the issue now.
If you ever need to hire a PI just end it. If the PI comes back and says nothing happened is she going to tell him she hired a PI? Or just lie and act like nothing happened. no need to waste more money its over at that point.
bag the wasted money on a private detective. the guys a dirt-bag cheater; ditch him! EVEN if he came clean on this one, he'll cheat again, because her concerns are dismissed with his anger; he's doing what serves him to his own selfish pleasure.
If he gets angry when she brings the topic up either he’s cheating, he’s not cheating but he can’t respond to her needs, or she’s overly paranoid. In any case the relationship is doomed and proof doesn’t change that
If you're feeling the need to hire a PI, it's time to go
All I can say is "Trust your gut". If it feels off, then it is off.
He’s either cheating or really flirty with his boss. There’s deff something there
If he is cheating with his boss, every woman in that office knows it.
Bingo
Yep
He’s not gonna confess and tell the truth, because his employment and personal life is on the line. He’s gonna lie until he’s caught red handed, and he’ll even probably try to lie if she actually does catch him. She should just leave his sorry arse. If he’s already cheating, he doesn’t even like her. Next. Why torture yourself with this jerk?
“Is he cheating? Will he cheat?” Um. He’s already cheating emotionally. “An emotional affair is a physical affair that hasn’t happened yet.”
it's already physical...
Back before there was the term "emotional affair" I knew a woman whose husband had 2 emotional affairs over the years. She ended up feeling worthless as these women took up more of his time and energy than she did. In fact, she begged him to come home earlier as he had the only car and they had 2 little kids. But because they weren't physical affairs. She didn't know what to do. Years later she divorced him. But it was still several years after the divorce that the term emotional affair became a well known word describing an affair that is just as devastating and a physical one. The physical one is worse only in the fact that you can get diseases from it. They both tear families apart.
Yes absolutely. Cheating isn't merely the physical act
Being single is awesome
If you marry him it will end with many, many tears. Love yourself by letting go and moving on. You deserve a loyal mate.
If your gut tells you hes cheating .. he probably is.
My ex did the same thing to me with his coworker. And had all the same signs
I bet if she can see his phone records, they text a lot
@@deb9806
100% -
If I were her, I would look for a hidden burner phone (likely in his car), check the call / text history on his regular phone and also the Google history to see what he is up to.
If he has a search engine that burns all traces of his searches that’s a HUGE red flag.
Those who have nothing to hide -
hide nothing.
Same, and identical signs. Forget a playbook, these guys are all out here running the exact same play lol
I worked with a married guy that I'm still cool with to this day. Thing is, I made it a point to get to know his wife because I know how people can assume things. I like her better than him 🤣🤣 we've hung out together several times and she's the coolest chick!!! I can see why he's so in love with her ❤️
Great emotionally intelligent response to that situation Nedra
Same. one of my classmates is a guy, and we became really good friends and he's married. Whenever he travels for work, I tell him to send his wife my phone number so I can help her with the kids. And one time I had to let him know of another classmate who made me extremely uncomfortable and I insisted he tells his wife of the conversation we had, out of respect for her and their relationship, because even though I consider him a brother, it is still disrespectful to his wife to talk to her husband behind her back about how another classmate made me uncomfortable by saying sexual things to me.
Thank YOU for being that woman! I am leaving a man-boy of too many years that likes to "hang out" with females behind my back without telling me and lying about it. When I was sitting next to his phone one evening a female's name I've never heard of popped up on his caller i.d. when she was calling. Of course it was oh she's just a good friend, she connected with me on FB we were best friends for ages all thru high school and after had some really good times, nothing for you to worry about. etc etc etc...My thing is Oh okay I get it...an old friend nothing to worry about okay then why have I never heard of her or met her(bcz after several min I got him to admit that he had been talking on the phone with her and then found out they had been hanging out) and we've been together almost 6 years. And why is she calling you at 2:30 AM on a Saturday night...bars closing....??? She showed up shortly after. Gasp! if you're only talking on the phone HOW does she know where you live BIG GUY. Needless to say I answered the door and as she tried to scurry off I grabbed her arm and said "oh no no no come on in! He's here. I really am dying to meet you!" She came in and as much of a joke she ended up looking like she did me a huge favor. But ONLY because she got caught off guard. She knew right away there would be no bullshitting me. I'm grateful she was dumb enough to show up but women like you who are truly just friends tend to come forward EARLY on and approach the wife. This is how I handle my guy friends and their significant others and I don't even entertain a friendship with a taken guy that even remotely flirts or comes off as someone who would step out on their person.
The thing is your coworker doesn't want to be with you or have sex with you. This caller's bf wants to sleep with his manager. That's the different.
Yes, exactly! Don’t have “work spouses”, have “work siblings”- draw a very bold line in the sand🙏🏼 I always joke that I’m the “annoying little/big sister”, just so hopefully no one gets the wrong idea.
I had a manager who’s girlfriend would drop in now and then, and I tried to get to know her and make it very obvious that I was supportive of their relationship. If I had to text him, I’d always make a point of mentioning, “Say hey to [GF] for me!” or something like that, just so that it was clear I was only discussing work things and clearly still acknowledged/respected his partner.
I’m a man, I’ve been in a lot of relationships in my life. The only reason you would get angry at a woman asking about this is because she keeps asking and she won’t take your answer or you have something to hide. I think this guy is something to hide. Good luck.
Bless you. For being a MAN and saying it as it is. SMH...too many man-boys with too many excuses these days.
@@myflippinlife181 Being a man saying what women want to hear? Surely you can understand being accused of something constantly thats not true and getting upset. We don’t know the full story, only her side. Wish we could hear the guys side too
His emotional response provides no insight into whether he was cheating or not. As you say, he’s either mad because she’s accusing him constantly of something he isn’t doing or he’s hiding something. So he’s either cheating or he’s not….no insight gained.
It hurts the most where it hits the most🎯
Dr. Jon is soooooo right!! The fact that he’s worrying more about his appearance is a huge red flag. That’s the number one thing people do when they cheat. I was her do not marry this man! Save yourself the heartache and expense of going through a divorce. Your intuition is always right. Trust it every single time!
I bet she can't look at phone (before he deletes things) or knows password after 4 years. Going out at odd times, maybe meeting her at gym (what if she wanted to go?) The coolness from the boss is a glaring sign unless she's a cold hearted woman with no conscience at all
Or he is just trying to better himself and she is over reacting? you only heard one very bias side of someone who seems to get jealous easily. She seems very clingy and just wants him all to herself. Who hurt you so bad to think that negatively? Not everyone is a cheater. you are gonna live a lonely life if you dont change that mindset
@@Mral236d Lol. It was MANY MANY MANY issues, not just that one. She’s worked at trying to communicate, express her concerns & needs.
I’m glad John changed his mind later in the call and said after hearing how her boyfriend and his lady boss have reacted/responded that he now feels the caller’s intuition is correct. I was glad John changed his mind because I’m sure lots of us were yelling at the screen for her to listen to her intuition. So sad for her, but better to find out prior to marriage.
im glad he changed his mind also and probably is mouthing her.
Same. My red flags went up as she described fiancé's reactions and when John gave the advice on how to approach the convo and she said I already did, it was clear.
p 0
She is going to dodge a HUGE bullet. I’d rather a called off engagement than a divorce
I swear at some point it’s screaming at you but all of the small signs got so much attention you start to see them all as small. 😢
For everyone saying they disagree with John, please listen to the entire video. He said she was right at the end of the call
I disagree with John on this one. I think there’s enough here to suspect that something is going on. I have been married for 11 years, and I would NEVER end a call with my wife without saying “I love you”, doesn’t matter who I’m with. Because, simply put, my viewpoint towards everyone else in my life (either personal or business-related) is this: if you, me and my wife were on a boat, and it was sinking, I would step on your face to save my wife!!! And EVERYONE in my life - whether friends or business associates - knows that this is how I feel.
I mean, for goodness sakes her husband won’t answer her call because he’s at a bar?! She absolutely has a right to be upset and suspicious!!!!
Bottom line, it still all come back to her. It's up to her if she's willing to tolerate her fiance's behavior. If she already has a suspicion that he's cheating but is still willing to tolerate his behavior then it's on her.
She'll get what she's willing to tolerate.
People cheat and say “I love you” right in front of the side chick. Doesn’t change anything
Soooo many people find time to scroll through social media, news articles, stock picks etc during their work hours...a quick text "thinking bout ya sexy lady" is just as easy!
@@zeal4god402 Yes! Amen!!!
If you watch the whole video he changes his mind and agrees with her 13:13
Thankfully she recognizes the signs 👍
Hopefully he recognizes the signs of a psychopathically jealous girlfriend which she is showing
@@christophercarrigg3775 How old are you?? Lol You seem like you're just a lil babyyyyy new to reality. Poor kid. Wait til you get played. Wait til you have a sneaky hot chick you're madly into turn your world upside down. Then you'll eventually start a new relationship and the first "off" sign you notice...oh boy. Curtains. Hopefully you don't have constant flash backs of this obvious ignorant and clueless comment you made! Because if you truly think this lady is acting like a psychopath, you must not have much experience Lmao. You have to just be a troll right? Come on. Grow up if you're not. Life can be brutal. Especially when it needs to be. And especially when we make heartless judgments and accusations like you make. Be careful what you say about others. Be very very careful.
The man is cheating and everyone knows it - the caller , her bf, the other woman, John, the listeners and the office colleagues. No one is saying it out loud though.
Gut intuition is normally right! My ex husband cheated on me and I had a dream about it, he was in the movie theater with the girl a few weeks before it happened and later I found out he went to the movies with the girl.
Giiiiiirl you’re psychic! Lol
John, ya dropped the ball on this one! So many red flags, something is going on.
If you listen to the end, John changes his mind.
I saw an office affair occur at one of my jobs, and it was so cringe and uncomfortable to be around. The wife even invited her husband to holiday parties and work events where spouses could attend... and then she would go cheat and do drugs with another man at our office. It was disgusting and abhorrent. She is a true POS. Any person that meets someone through an affair and doesn't think that person will do the same to them is a fool. She ended up divorcing her husband and is now married and has a baby with the man she cheated with. People are crazy!
Her ex-husband lucked out. He lost a cheater and the other guy was dumb enough to impregnate her. You always let the other person have the cheater!
Only once? I’ve seen too many and I’m fresh out of school
What an absolute NPC! 😮😮😮
as a reformed serial cheater, i recognize a lot of these patterns of cheating 😅😅😅 I mean, consistently not answering the phone and then gaslighting your partner with an excuse... shaving/grooming yourself all-of-a-sudden, but not for intimacy with your partner, OOF, big one...
Yeh something isn't right with this fiance
Just because you're a cheater doesn't mean this guy is
Yup. 💯 they start improving themselves for the other person!
@@abnattitudeum… that’s not true lol. i’ve never cheating and would never cheat, but people can cheat and then never cheat again. a reformed cheater just won’t reform for any individual person, it has to be mental growth and realizing the damage that cheating does.
@Unknown Comment huh? Someone could easily just stop cheating if the wanted to.
Fiancé for 5 years? Red Flag! 🚩
Relationship for 5 years
I know! If you ain’t ready to marry them tomorrow when you get engaged, you ain’t ready to get married!
I dated my wife for anout 8 months before we declared it exclusive. Then we dated about 2 years. Then we got engaged. And my wife had some specifics about when and where we got married so out engagement was over a year and a half. So by the time we got married it was close to 4.5 years. Just saying. She doesn’t say why they aren’t married yet. Or at least not in any great detail. Just sayin 🤷♂️
Lmao for real 😂. She's delusional
BS depends on the age the agreement and the goals of the couple … I wanted to finish my PhD first before marriage I did so and we married after 7 years - so many people in the US marry after only 2 years just to discover that they don’t even know each other. If you marry after 2 years you go from “new relationship energy to pre wedding energy” and then to divorce after 7 years congrats
Don't marry him, period. Just don't.....no!
If it were a man you would be calling him insecure
She knows the answer. Yes he’s cheating.
So much gaslighting. Walk. Away. We support you in that act of wisdom
Wow, too many red flags. Just walk away. If you think he is cheating. He most likely is.
A woman's instinct knows. We're just told we shouldn't believe it, then get burnt because we saw the 🚩 but didn't act on it to not seem crazy.
Even if he isn't cheating why would you want to constantly feel second to work?
I used to travel all the time for work. I always made time to talk to my wife. No one cares if I stepped away from the breakfast table to take a call from her. A lot of guys do that. Even if it's just for a minute. Something is fishy here.
Hell I care. I'm not giving up precious time to talk small talk with my wife at breakfast. I go all week without talking to her if I'm a way. We are not joined at the hip, if I'm a way that's it unless someone died. Leave me alone. I love her to bits and we have a great relationship and been together 30y. That's why. we trust each other.
do NOT marry him.
This call is heart breaking
Me and my wife met at work 10 years ago. Let me tell you…they knocking boots for sure. Lawyer up
Don’t marry this guy until he’s a hundred percent honest about this boss. Even if he gets angry, if he can’t talk abt this calmly then he’s not going to be a good partner in marriage. Rooting for you Diana!
Johns example to her as to how he can even be on the road and answer his wife's call even on stage is a true example that a man or woman who truly loves you will answer your call no matter what....there should never be a time when your call should be ignored not for hours.
I’ve learned this principle from my mother. It’s funny how they say your parents are who you find in your spouse. I get “I love you” texts from her all the time and wondering how I am doing. And if I dont respond within a couple of days, she calls me to “check up on me.” It’s as much an I miss you to her as it is, hey you should learn to not leave me wondering how you’re doing. I’m thankful for those lessons she taught to be open about what I hope for with my spouse.
While I agree with your sentiment, that's certainly not a true statement, if taken literally. There's plenty of valid reasons why someone may not be able to access their phone for hours.
No, not for hours, I agree. There are times where it's just terrible timing and either I or her cannot answer. I like to plan talk time when I'm on the road/traveling (Which is rare but it happens). Like 8:30pm or 9pm and then video chat or something. She also knows I/she can almost always text, but I can't voice at that moment.
Poor woman, I hope she finds some clarity with what's going on so she can move forward with her life✌
just from hearing her side it sounds like she has a good reason to be suspicious, I don't know if he's cheating or not. I'd put it at 50/50 but I see her POV.
@@Aaron-kj8dv agreed
Her intuition is correct! If you have to call and ask, you already know the answer!
Edit; the stand off ish vibe from the boss is typical of a woman who’s intimidated by her finding out she likes the callers husband and has something going on with him! Very typical! If you missed the first few red flags, this one is a dead giveaway! 🚩
Look up fresh and fit. These guys explain why cheating for a guy is very different than a girl
@@ugabuga1361 who the heck cares if it’s different or same?! The callers fiancée is showing every red flag that he shouldn’t be trusted. And you watch F&F? Pass.
@@Nah-ah we need to here the guys side. Hope you’re never a juror
@@RealityHurts923 Of course we need to hear his side, but it's not our judgment to make, it's hers. Given the information she has (or thinks she has), her conclusion seems sound.
@@austininflorida "Not out judgment to make" is exactly the point of my comment you responded too, yet here you are doing just that, judging the man base on one persons side. I just want to here the other side, that's all. Hope you never serve on a jury.
Ohhhhhhh, I'd sue for damages if a boss at a company slept with my husband. She needs to hire a PI and get it all on video.
🤣 sue for damages
@@zeal4god402 Yep, in many states you can sue for something called Alienation of Affection.
@@COINsimp2024 You sure? I just read that six states recognize it and that's its mostly outdated. I imagine people would be giving all sorts of outlandish reasons blaming someone for a relationship disintegrating
At the very east she can expose the affair to their HR at work, and someone will most likely get fired.
@@zeal4god402it did actually happen this woman sued her husband’s mistress and won!!! Look it up
As a single guy, this is a comment for all the men out there. Us guys have plenty of male friends in our circle. She's describing our boy who typically cheats.
Because on the other end we also have a guy in our group who is madly in love and is our role model of what to be one day if us single guys were ever to be in a relationship.
This guy is one of the bad ones unfortunately 😂
Why don't men call out other men like this? I've never heard of a female friend group who's like "that's our girl who typically cheats." Most women don't want to be associated with a woman who is KNOWN for cheating. Some men don't hold each other accountable for doing shitty things because they want the option to do it themselves.
@@jackie41083 it's more common than you think in both sexes. Most friend groups have that one cheater in there and everyone turns the blind eye
@@lav7161 Nope, it’s not common for women. I can tell you firsthand as a woman who has belonged to female friend groups and observed female friend groups. It’s not common for us to have a “cheating” friend who everyone just accepts. You can ask every woman you know.
@jackieb4608 around my friend groups it's very common. Maybe not yours
@@lav7161 It’s common for women around you? Yea, I don’t believe that. Unless you’re around 18.
Having the adult conversation will make or break you. Either way it’s for the best. Open conversation is key to a successful relationship. If you can’t trust or communicate with your person, it’s only a matter of time.
Wait too long only hurts you and and your chances of finding someone that you can truely be happy and intimate with.
@@jeanlaubenthal698 agreed. One of the best lessons a person can learn in life is when they need to walk away from a relationship, and ACTUALLY doing so. I’ve wasted to many years holding onto toxic relationship. Live and learn. 👍
@@badass1g 100%
Former work wife here (was young and dumb in early 20s). So essentially, they PROBABLY are not having a physical affair... It sounds like the behaviors may lead to one. Regardless, it's clear to me he's vented details of your relationship that he shouldn't under the guise of getting advice. That's why she doesn't know how to behave around you, she only knows his version of you, which is probably fairly negative. Rare is it that unmarried men share lots of positive intimate info about women they're dating. He's having an 'oh, sallywhoever gets me' phase, and now he's peacocking for her. When you call when a group is together, it only exacerbates the issue, because now the appearance is that you're a ball and chain, and she'll pity him for his perceived home life. 😔 My personal advice is to ask him once and for all, and lean back. I don't think you'll actually trust him in the long run.
🙄
Oh my god!! Are you single? LOL I think you are the one. lol you are absolutely spot on..................I know you are with a great man because you deserve it. You are a very very rear gem and he is a lucky man.
Love how this circled into the realization of the direct and honest conversation that needed to take place.
So basically....
Diana: My husband has been acting shady, lying, and being alone with this girl.
Dr John: It's all in your head.
Diana: And the woman isn't nice to me.
Dr John: Oh, he's cheating.
John also said because of his reaction when she did confront him
I knew before John knew!!! A woman KNOWS when her gut is telling her something.
Trust your gut, something is off.
Why 5 years and not married?
Time to leave
I disagree with John. I experienced this with someone and when I confronted, I was right. We then established boundaries, no private dinners on travel (that’s a date) no road trips alone, etc.
AMEEEEEEEN. Especially when you KNOW the kind of person your spouse finds highly attractive
@@zeal4god402 haha, very true. People know for the most part what type of person their spouse/ so is attracted to.
👏
My heart broke from her. I can't believe it took him that long to realize that she was right.
Major red flags! I feel 100% he’s cheating or about to. I hope she gets out now. I ignored these kind of red flags and got married anyway…and he cheated! I could have saved myself a divorce had I not ignored the signs.
I appreciated John’s honesty… some shows like to stay positive but it’s always better to tell the truth. He may not be cheating but his behavior is inappropriate and he is not putting his future wife above others. They should be merging as one. She is not asking for him to disrespect his work nor do anything illegal. She just want to feel wanted and important in his life. The honeymoon phase is over before it even started 😔 I wish for the best for her 💜
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.” ― Kahlil Gibran This quote is sooooo true. I'd end the engagement. State the reasons you are doing so in a kind way and let go. Keep the drama to a minimum. It hurts like hell, but you will feel so much better. Starting a marriage with so much uncertainty is no way to start a marriage. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. It always does. Have faith in that.
100% agreed with you.
If she already has to ask this question, then most likely she already knew the answer.
"In life, we don't get what we deserve, we get what we're willing to tolerate" -Tony Robbins.
If she's willing to tolerate this, then who am I to say anything.
@@terriesmith2616 Beautiful quote from the magnificent Tony Robbins!
Could not agree more. Shoulda done that in a first relationship. Didn’t really understand yet. The school of hard knocks they say.
When guys cheat it’s for sex. When girls cheat it’s for a new man. Don’t leave him. He loves you. All guys want to cheat. All of them. If they say they don’t they are lying. Cheating is for girls. It’s a double standard for a reason. A girl. Fresh and fit podcast
@@cheesygal SHK is where I learned all my wisdom! I'm just glad I allow myself to continually learn. We are all works in progress.
Oh this woman is not delusional at all. It took me one glance over at my exboyfriend and his new friend to know they fancied each other. 2 years of being insecure about them and then finding out I was right all along. I’m not saying her husband and his colleague have cheated, but the alarm bells are not going off for nothing. She just doesn’t understand them yet. Always listen to your gut.
John's wife is a blessed lady. He is educated, caring, and super handsome
He isn’t perfect.
He's funny too
@@acd1168 no one's perfect, but he sems like a good man. A rare breed these days.
John, is that you?
@@belindagarza3958 🤣
Hire a P.I.
Why don’t people say these things to their partner really lack of communication 😮
Run girl, RUN!!!
If you're afraid to lose someone, you will always go the route of comforting them when they're worried, etc, and reassuring them, you would never fight back at them. Also, you might even consider getting a new job.
Im a middle aged man, that works in an environment with a lot of other rough males. Everyone of them tells their spouses that they love them, regardless of whos around
She’s just looking for confirmation because she thinks she’s going out her mind
He is so dismissive
Cheating or not, without trust, you do not have a quality relationship. She doesn't trust him. To marry would create a miserable private investigator experience. Also if communication turns to an argument... that doesn't bode well for a marriage.
Had a man called with this exact scenario all of the women in the comments would be calling him insecure and accusing him of cheating / projecting.
My friend works for a company that they all know that the boss is sleeping with her engaged employee. She's married too. But no one will tell the significant others.
Secrets always destroy relationships Stephanie
Awful people.
The thing is sometimes they still lie to your face for years
No one in a serious relationship should be going to the bar.
I disagree with this. Going to a bar with your mates is fine.
The weird thing here is it’s ‘work’
@Bringon-dw8dx it's fine if it's work but several people are going, and it's only for a quick happy hour thing. If it goes late, though... that's just a recipe for disaster, even when it's not just two people. Nobody should over-imbibe around people they work with.
Hire a private investigator. You need to know the truth before you spend any more of your valuable time and energy on him.
Let's not mince words...he is 1000% having an affair with his boss. I absolutely disagree with John on this one. On work trips - you don't have to spend every waking minute with your other work colleagues. You can take time away from them to check-in with your spouse and you should. Sorry, Diana, but your red flags are completely valid. Ditch this guy.
I would report them to HR.
I know this isn’t a scientific fact, but I have never seen or heard of anyone who gets defensive about something who is innocent of what they are suspected of (in a relationship setting). He would be apologetic and work to build trust with his partner and set up boundaries. Either that or she is super paranoid and nags him about it all the time, which doesn’t sound like the case.
I feel the opposite is true: look for videos of people being accused of crimes when they're innocent. Men, most likely, explode. Those that are guilty act timid and say stuff like, "I'm not the type of person that would do that."
When there are important issues that need to be discussed, they need to be discussed, but the constant whining about items on the counter and in the refrigerator not being arranged properly...naaaaah
@Guts I'm a guy and if I ever get accused of anything I don't explode and instead I get shocked and somewhat act as if I'm guilty. Sometimes I would even walk into a store and feel guilty walking out without buying something because I think the workers probably think I'm stealing.
I got angry with a partner that was ALWAYS accusing me.. but that came after probably a year of me denying it nicely and changing whatever behaviors he said were suspicious.. I started getting angry when I realized he was using accusations to be controlling and when I realized he was always accusing me bc he was a cheater lol
My first question would have been what was his reaction when you raised your concerns with him? Anger he’s up to something. If your partner isn’t trying to understand your partner pain somethings up.
This is heartbreaking! I feel for this lady. Even if she had been with him for five months it would still hurt but five years?? And engaged too? Wow, that’s so hard to overcome.
Do not even think about marrying this man until you feel more secure. You don't trust him. Not sure if it warranted or not. You didn't mention when you were getting married. It doesn't look to me like he is hiding anything but many things seem to trigger you.
She needs to work on herself! Separation
I gone through this and he get mad.i left because confirmed he was cheating. I left 26 years of marriage.
Dr . John Please have follow ups !!!! We need to know !!!! 😂😂😂❤
This lady knows things are over because they are not compatible. Just end it and find love outside of the workplace. It’s too much to do work and relationship in the same place. I hope she finds peace and happiness. ✨💖✨
This sounds like a past relationship that i was in. It ended after 2.5 years literally two weeks before we were supposed to get married. She accused me of being shady after 1 year. She would go through my phone while i slept all the time and question my conversations with customers that were female even tho there was nothing unprofessional at all. I started to change over time and pull back and act different because i was just so over it that i finally left. The final straw was she went through my phone 5 days in a row right in front of me. I handed her my phone and i just couldn’t do it anymore. Sounds like this guy is making distance because he’s frustrated.
I think he’s going to cheat and she should dump him and move on. And his relationship is completely inappropriate with his boss.
Major red flag if the woman can't even look you in the eye. Even if there isnt proof there's an emotional/physical affair, her reaction to her is a sign that his boss clearly thinks she is doing something wrong. My husband has invited the kids and I to the office to meet his coworkers. I know some of the women have probably had crushes on him bc he's a good looking guy, but he is very open and frequent on bragging on his wife and kids at work and how happy he is. No one has ever been hesitant to meet my eye or introduce themselves.
I’ve been in this situation before and his advice in terms of approach to conversation is 100% spot on. You can’t stop people from liking you however you have absolute control over how you respond on the situations that you put yourself in.
He’s definitely cheating 💯
Dr. John Deloney- why aren’t you hearing her? His boss asked “who are you talking to?”
Only girlfriends and wives ask that! Come on…. 🤦🏼♀️
To the caller… your man is a liar and cheating on you. I’d put my life on it.
-His communication is less frequent and his appearance is more efficient...that should raise an inner alarm and questioned because we communicate less with what is deemed a lesser priority. A quick text during lunch that he is with his friends and that he is anticipating hearing her voice later would be courteous and thoughtful. We usually dress to impress, so who is he trying to impress. We dress better when our confidence is raised, so who or what has increased/challenged his confidence?
-When a man can say a simple "I love you" to you around other people, but not around a specific woman, the chances he has erotic feelings for that woman is highly probable.
-When someone gets harshly questioned about something, we naturally get extra defensive, but I'm guessing she has asked him about this woman in a decent tone, and an infuriating response from him is a red flag, lack of competent emotional maturity, and the wedding plans need to be canceled if he cannot have sensitive conversations with a peaceful demeanor
She'll have to strategize the best way to bring this up; not only is her relationship on the line, but they all work for the same company.
My ex and I worked together and I watched him become friends with, then have an affair with, another coworker. We all still work for same company and they are living together and engaged. I got to watch it all unfold while constantly being told I was crazy and they’re just friends.
Why the hell are they at the bar until 10:30 at night on work nights alone on trips?!
my FIRST thought
Yeah nah. There's something up. If he's not cheating already, it's on the way. Whether emotionally or physically, it's coming. I hope I'm wrong.
She needs to trust her gut. If it seems like he's reluctant to have the boss lady or anyone else know he's on a call wih her, he's being sneaky. The sudden interest in leveling up his grooming, etc is an age-old sign. Girl, get the hell out.
I tried to have a peaceful conversation, but it always ended up in a lot of rage.
He shouldn’t pick up the call while eating with others but he COULD call her to say good morning before he heads down. Guessing he doesn’t. Red flags.