She keeps saying "I know... I know.." but she is not getting it. It didn't hit her quite yet. She is a people pleaser, she needs serious therapy jes.... So sad😢
My father was a serial cheater & when my mom was finally done, she packed him up while he was away on a business trip. She sat me down & asked me if I knew what happened to dogs that got the taste of sheep’s blood. I looked at her & promptly said, “You shoot them.” And she looked around at my father’s things so neatly stacked & labeled & she looked back at me & said, “I just pulled the trigger.” I never forgot that nor forgot the strength it took to admit someone doesn’t love or respect you as much as you thought. Thanks, mom for the life lesson. Good luck Hannah. Stay strong.
Caught my ex wife with another dude, I felt like the world dropped on my shoulders and I couldn't get out. After a few months, I realized she did me a favor by doing it 6 years into the marriage instead of 26 years into the marriage. Then, her misery set in with her new relationship, arguing and fighting all of the time. After 6-8 months, she was begging me to get back together, but with a smile I said, you got what you thought you wanted so now you get to live with your decisions.
@@aortega701 - I am good, sucked going through it at the time but glad she did it years ago. To this day, she will still deny it even though I literally caught her. But the reason was, she "thought" he had money. Even though I worked all of the time, every time I mentioned starting my own contracting business, she would want to argue, "you will do nothing but fail". Well, she moved in with the dude she still denied cheating with, within a few months his house was in foreclosure and he was losing everything. Within a couple years I had 2 businesses with 45 employees and doing my thing. Sometime some things can turn out bittersweet!
It takes a blatant amount of nerve to leave your bed at midnight and go to a neighbor's apartment for 2 hours, while your wife is at home waiting for you to return. Sister, it doesn't take 2 hours to open a bottle of wine. May God go with you through this difficult time.
The sad part is the audacity. Like, that's how little he thinks of her, that she's an idiot who won't even realise what's happening under her nose. The arrogance to just get up and leave, in the quietest time of night, and think you're so smart no one will know.
Not to mention he has a past history of cheating. He also lets her look at his phone but only after he erased the texts. She looks and though she can't see the actual texting, but she can see that there are hundreds of text back and forth.
Amen and I know she's scared being single with a teenager and a 10 year old, but life without him will be so much better in time. Sending you love, light, and healing energy your way.
omg my jaw dropped when she said the friend said the husband was home but she just needed help opening a bottle of wine at 12-2 am. like wow y'all couldn't have come up with anything better than that
im tryin to tell a friend the same thing but she wants a baby and to be married so bad. She found out her boyfriend of a year had a one year old baby and had been sneaking to visit and stay with the childs mother
You picked him. You women only want the men that are desired by all women. While you passed up all the faithful dudes in your youth because they were "nice guys"
Yes, nothing beats a clear conscience when putting your head on the pillow at night. Also, knowing you're exclusive with that one person is such a sense of security
It really is a wonderful thing. My phone is completely available to my partner too, he has no desire to check it, the contents would bore him to tears but it’s beautiful having nothing to hide.
I drive truck and have a young lady as my dispatcher. One day I got a text from her talking about meeting up after she got off work. Fortunately, a few minutes later she text, Sorry wrong person. I hope she was intending on sending that message to her husband.
1. Plan carefully and methodically 2. Acquire and compile evidence( P.I. if necessary) 3. Start stashing money 4. Make a long term plan 5. Unless you are in danger, pretend like everything is normal. 6. You are empowering yourself to blindside him. 7. Plan very carefully for you and kids future. 8. Compile copies of all finances. For the last 5 years. 9. Start stashing money. 10. Start stashing money. Be kind to yourself, stay busy, spend time with support system.
stashing money will not play well in divorce proceedings. Thorough documentation yes so you get your fair share, but not proactively stealing it. If he can prove that, it will not play favorably.
Sadly he has been gaslighting her for so long that she has learned how to gaslight herself. I hope you get the peace and healing you deserve Hannah. You deserve so much more. Wishing you well.💜
When I was pregnant and caught him cheating, the terror was so bad I only had the ability to hate on the other woman and could only think about what to do to make him leave her and choose me over her. Zero rational, zero self worth, 100% deception. Therefore I could not judge the willingness of this lady to keep trying but she HAS TO GET OUT 😰
I’m sorry you went through that love. I hope you have healed and are stronger than ever 🤍 God bless you and may you receive many blessings in your life
Well don't be hard on yourself, you were also pregnant, I can bet that changes things. You were probably in nesting mode and yours and your child survival will take heed before things like "rational, self worth" etc.
100%. My ex's affair went on for close to a year, almost in plain view, before I put the divorce papers in front of her. I wanted to believe the lies and that my gut was wrong. She lied for the first six months of the court proceedings before she got cornered with the threat of proof. She came clean and vindicated every single suspicion I'd had for the previous 18 months. This poor woman on the call is dealing with the same thing. Hannah ... go to court and destroy this monster. The thought of it is terrifying, I know. At times, you'll feel like there's no point in continuing on or that it'll never end. But if you're going through hell, keep going. It doesn't last forever here.
She’s probably believing it for financial reasons. Sometimes the amount of work it’ll take to leave the situation makes you just wanna believe the lies.
I have been in this position. I knew something was very wrong and we were going to counselling. He swore to me and the counsellor that he was not having an affair and that I was paranoid and untrusting. Then his girlfriend came knocking on my door and told me what they had been doing and that I needed to get out of the way for their "true love". Such a shot to the gut, but in one way, I felt so much better - I was NOT crazy. All those times I sensed that he was lying, that there was a big cloud over us, was real! I was NOT crazy. He was just a big liar. And their "true love" was soon jettisoned as he tried to get me back. I could not go back. It is painful, but you get through it. And there is a better life ahead.
You need to listen to your own emotions and not let a dude tell you 'you are crazy'. Imagine of that girl never came knoking. You would live to the rest of your life wondering if you are crazy. My lord
@@steelearmstrong9616 People who say trust no one are afraid to get hurt. Trusting others you're close with is a normal part of life. The problem is, don't continue trusting them after they give you reasons not to, such as in this case.
@@not-even-german4892My husband & I are friends with other couples from church. With one of them, we have a running 4-person texting thread so we can make plans for our next dinner & game night together, pass along any news quickly, share funny GIFs, or whatever. It’s not totally weird to have phone numbers of close friends of the family. That being said……. With ANY history of even an inkling of cheating, having other women’s phone numbers should have been a thing of the past. I feel so sorry for this girl. 😢
@@not-even-german4892That part's not at all strange. All four of them are friends and next door neighbours and they do things with their kids together so they would have each other's numbers even just for emergencies as neighbours. It's the secrets and lying and deleting things that makes it all weird.
@@mrv2308wow!:she deserved it!! That's ridiculous fool! Your so helpful..and kind..and putting yourself in this wife (with children) position, and understanding sometimes people do try to work out a ONE time problem..but thats why she is CALLING..for counsel on how to deal with this hel..now that she knows it's happened a 2nd time, and she has to uproot her children's lives and hers and go thru hel..but yes let's put ALL THIS on her, not the husband, the creep who broke his promise AGAIN, I guess you don't know about compassion to people who are seeking to do the right thing..youre a very unkind, mean-spirited person!
I won't judge her choices. She has a history that is influencing her decisions. She's doing what she thinks is best for her and her children. She is the one who will live with her choices - not us. "I would....". "I wouldn't...." Is all speculation. You don't KNOW until your actually the one living it and even then your basing your decisions in a different history and perspective. I wish this woman peace of mind - whatever she chooses to do. It's a tuff spot to be in.
It doesn’t matter anymore if someone cheats. The courts couldn’t care LESS who cheated on who. If you go in with that in mind it may help you with custody issues.
Run! 🏃 My best friend of 20yrs & husband 10yrs, are now married to each other. I wanted to believe them, as to not hurt their feelings. My bad. They both became my worst enemies.
That is awful. I am so sorry. My ex-husband cheated on me with my sister when our son was a newborn. I was in the house asleep, and they were in his car in the yard.
The guy likes having a girl that loves them, but they also can't help trying to get with other women. I knew a few dudes like this in college. I don't know if they stopped doing this after getting married
If he had nothing to hide, showing her his phone would be a nonissue. Also, it doesn't take 2 hours to open a bottle of wine. Hannah, you don't deserve to be treated this way. Also, as Dr. John said, she's not your best friend. She doesn't respect you or your marriage. I hope you get away from both of them.
Caller isn’t innocent. She married a hot man other women want because of her inherent superficiality and now acts surprised he has options. I guarantee if she sought her husband in the computer lab instead of the nightclub or the football field, this wouldn’t be an issue. Oh no, I parked my Ferrari in a high-crime neighborhood with the keys in it and it got stolen, I’m such a victim!
A support system is not required to have a backbone. She’s a doormat and needs to come to the realization that she can be by herself and ok with her kids. Her kids are not babies and he has done this before.
it sounds to me like she thinks believing he's cheating means all the years she has spent making it work are in vain. 10 whole years only to be betrayed by her friend and her husband. I feel sad for her
You might feel differently if you're married with kids. I don't understand this woman's circumstances myself but I do know if I were to leave my husband it would implode my kids' lives. It's a terribly difficult decision she has to make.
@@Lulusnotreadyforthisstaying with someone who betrayed you will also implode your children’s lives. By staying you are teaching them that someone can betray your every living being, put their own children in a horrible situation and you should allow it to be so by staying with the person who betrayed your entire family. That’s a lot worse than leaving
@elettramia6380 you don't tell your kids about infidelity... You don't put kids in the middle of adult situations... They should never know their parents was unfaithful
She needs to ask the husband about where he was that night and tell him her story. Her husband was in their house for two hours after midnight? Where was he? Is her story BS (yes). Then plan the big escape after the finances are in order.
Because she has shown him that no matter what he does, no matter how blatant, she can't pick herself up to follow through and leave. You have to love and respect yourself first.
It is on Muslim countries. Under Sharia law. Is that what you want? Sharia law? Because most Westerners whinge and whine that they would never want sharia law. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Yup I’ve been there… I felt like I was crazy too and the best decision I made was move on and live my life. Initially it was difficult but omg let me tell u it was freeing. No more living in eggshells no more lies or having to tip toe around his bs. I was also told by his counsellor and my counsellor that I was dealing with a narcissist and to me it sounds like u may also be dealing with one.
I also hope she leaves him. All the time, energy and love she poured into him was a waste of time. She should have poured it into herself and when she does that she will become the kind of woman he cant get because she will be way above his level. He is basically garbage when he cheats. Nobody wants a cheater when they find out.
It's over, keep it moving lady Red flags: -Sneaking next door past midnight to your former best friend to open a wine bottle -Deleting text messages -Zero respect and lack of boundaries from him
@@emmajones8590 I wish he would have asked her if she said anything to the husband bc I GUARANTEE she didn't & he has no clue about it, & was upstairs sleeping with their child. 🤦🏻♀️😔
I promise after you get rid of him and time passes you will be really proud of yourself and there are good people out there. You deserve much better. Don't be his punching bag!
I love that he reminded her that her children are taking their cues about relationships by watching her and her husband. She owes it to them to start a new life.
I lived this. Can't tell you how very, very much I wanted him to choose our marriage, how I wanted him to be honest, how I chose to overlook continued red flags and lies. The following years were brutal - not going to lie. Oh, sweet lady, I know your pain. May God be real and present, and may you learn what I did: When all I have left is God, He is enough.
It just kept glitching on me when I tried this video tutorial so firstly I would say thank you for the video and secondly, thank you Dale Valskov meeting you was a blessing in disguise keep up with the good work I'm sure a lot of people will be needing your assistance iin the nearest future after seeing this
Account of mine also got hacked and I followed the method as explained in this video but I'm unable to proceed after recording the selfie video. Thank you Dale Valskov . It brings me immense joy to witness his name appearing frequently in comments, a clear indication of the commendable work he’s been doing.
Hes already cheated ... and nows hes going after the most available person and lying about it.... disgusting. Im glad you had that camera. Take the kids and leave.... he isnt worth it. You deserve love and commitment and honesty. Hugs girlie!
What do you mean take the kids ??!!! Lol. Women are crazy. Take the kids. lol. He’s their FATHER. He’s not abusing them. Most likely she’s not into having a sexual relationship with him anymore so he’s doing the super obvious thing to do. That’s what it usually is. Seen this a bazillion times. Boring.
@@onlyht Would you be willing to leave your children with the spouse who cheated TWICE on you? I wouldn't. If said spouse had lied to me about 2 affairs and was doing so with my BEST FRIEND. I wouldn't trust that person with anything I held dear. May I ask why you deem the kids needing a father and not the mother? If he's been gaslighting her over 2 affairs, what makes you think he wouldn't gaslight his kids, wait until they're asleep and go find another woman to sleep with? In my book, the mom is a much better parent than the dad. That doesn't mean he cannot have partial custody or maybe just visiting rights. But he's already proven that he's more interested in himself than any one else.
I know that being alone with your children can be frightening. I've been there. I was a stay-at-home mum with 3 children, 2 of whom were disabled. But But you'll get through these difficult times because you worth it. I'm French (and my english can seem weird) and fortunately in my country we have a lot of help for single or isolated mothers. Don't stay alone and don't hesitate or be ashamed to ask those around you for help. All my thoughts are with you. It's not an easy road, but you'll come out of it much stronger. Love from France
A spouse who cheated and was taken back should absolutely not be disappearing at midnight! It doesn’t even matter if something happened between them or not that’s inappropriate.
This poor, poor woman. And her poor children. What a terrible, horrible, destructive mess that they do not deserve. Get the kids and get out. Grieve, heal, and rebuild.
The efficiency of this Dale Valskov is next level. To juggle walk throughs of various angles on the topic delivered to-camera, differnet content per topic from various folks underneath the umbrella of the track list of the larger big band concert itself is engaging and refined. To make a dense taccess like this so digestible is really something. Awesome work jack!!
Leaving a marriage for any reason, even decades like me, is very hard. Let me tell you, though, the other side is tranquil. Even if I never date or marry again I have my peace and happiness.
Maya Angelou once famously said: "When someone shows who they really are, believe them". Your choice in this matter seems clear to me, and I think to you as well.....the biggest obstacle for some of us, is the will. You are worth much more than that.....LEAN FORWARD!! Hoping for the best....
Sometimes with cheating, people feel as though they have to catch the person 100% in the act. And that means either seeing messages, compromising situation. You can just that is acting in a way that is disrespectful to you and your marriage. He is showing that he is willing to hide things from you, and lie to your face. That is enough to leave. Even if they never actually had sex, his behavior, his gas lighting, is showing disrespect the marriage on enough to leave.
Jez, this is as painful to listen to. I went through a damn near identical situation. And homeboy said something that is so true. Granted what’s been done, don’t expect him to suddenly change up for the better when confronted. Basically, what I learned - when people SHOW YOU who they are, believe them
Why is her husband texting her best friend literally at all? My best friends text me to ask my husband something and my husband would text me to ask them. Never in all of our years has he ever had one of my friend’s numbers and texted them. Nor would he even think it’s okay to go to their houses. He would think it’s weird. A faithful man would be like “what? Why? No”. Faithful men don’t put themselves in situations where anything can be twisted, ever. Neither would a faithful woman. I’m not texting his best friends either. This guy is sleeping with her best friend
My best friends' husbands all have my number and I have all of theirs. I've had friends' husbands text me to ask me for gift advice, invite me to surprise parties, ask if I knew where one of them was when they weren't answering their phone, ask for my advice due to the work I do, all kinds of reasons and none of us have ever done anything even slightly inappropriate. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the closest person to you in your life having friendships with the other people who are close to you.
@@azzieadareI agree with you. God forbid the spouse goes missing. I'm not married but I do have grown kids and I didn't have any of their friends numbers until it dawned on me. My adult daughter leaves for days on end. And I have a teenage son. I also have my brother in laws number. I only text him on Father's day. Lol. We don't live in the same state though. But even if we did I mean if he can't do something for me during business hours or the weekend then it ain't gone get done. But he wouldn't be trying to be secretive like ol boy. I remember an ex of mines who had a gang of female friends because he worked at a bank etc. etc. and he held a conversation for like 15 minutes with a female friend in front of me. They were cackling and everything. But the minute he has to leave the room or whisper, I know what's up. And I'll chuck the deuces. ✌️
@@azzieadareyes but it is important to note those husbands are only reaching out to you in regards to their spouse, which is a mutual person in your life.
@@azzieadare I am not saying there is. I am saying it can VERY easily be abused. I’ve been with my husband since high school. We are now mid 30s and we have all of the same friends. I trust him implicitly as does he me, but he has even told me, I literally mentioned this to him just now after reading your comment and he said verbatim “I find it odd and weird that a man is late night texting his wife’s best friend and to boot she is going over there because she called him at midnight. I have nothing to talk to our women friends about at midnight. Absolutely nothing. That guy isn’t right and she knows it”. I wouldn’t have an issue if he texted my best friends, nor would he if I texted his, the point is we just don’t. We don’t even think to have a rolling conversation with each other’s friends. It has nothing to do with what you said, it’s that it isn’t even a thought to want to. Him wanting to is a waving red flag on a big red truck.
Just last week I texted the husband of a girlfriend to ask if he knew an electrician (he’s lived here forever and knows everyone). I added his wife’s number onto the text and made it a group chat. That way everything is transparent.
That has to be one of the WORST lies I have ever heard for being gone for TWO hours in the middle of the night. Hannah, I’m really sorry. You are worth so much more than this. Wishing you and your babies peace as you move forward. Know you have an army behind you supporting you through this journey. ❤️
My ex wife told me the naked pictures she was sending and receiving from her affair partner was just how her and her friend joke around with each other lol.
Hanna babe, my heart goes out to you. Please don’t allow him to gaslight you and take you for granted. I would have to invite the “best friend” and her husband over for dinner and confront both her and my husband. You deserve better and so do your kids. I’m praying for you and the kids.
One of the most powerful things that John does with every call I’ve noticed-is the pause…he stops talking and at that moment-it feels so powerful! The quiet silence between him & the caller-it allows everyone to really take in what is happening -Everything! It’s the point where we realize what is really going on! Thank you John for your insight & knowledge! I found your channel last month & it’s provided much guidance on relationships for me…thank you for what you do! ❤️🩹Also-I love your taste in music John! SD, Frank Turner! ✨✨✨
I find it so irritating that he doesn't even let her tell the story of all the reasons she suspects him, he just jumps in rightvat the start and keeps talking for nearly four full minutes. Let the caller make the call, instead of interrupting and doing all the bloody talking, urrgh! So annoying! I just wanted her to tell her story first
Cathy, you are judging someone mid-decision. She has been lied to and gaslit for so long, she just needed a second opinion (she cannot go to her now-former 'best friend' for that). As for the other comments on this thread "cheat back" - never lower yourself to scum level, rise above and show integrity. Such a dumb suggestion. As for "weak" - no, trusting (but trusting the wrong person in this case). Trust is a sign of good character, which is exploited by those with poor character.
@@mexicana4721That’s a TERRIBLE model to her 13 year old and 8 year old. 2 parent who cheat on each other, and have zero integrity. What a great suggestion… 🙄
To the caller- I am so very sorry. I am going through something similar, and it is so hard and painful. I wish you the best. Please take care of YOU and your children ❤️
Not a friend, let alone best friend. Her husband needs to know too. She needs to build the courage to leave. Think of what's best for herself and children. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
Poor woman, she sounds like she is such a sweet person… don’t worry Hannah, kind hearted people like you are very resilient. I am sure you will find a lot of good and trustworthy friends and a loving partner at the end of all this mess ❤️
You are strong enough to do this! I walked away from a narcissist with a yr old son. I knew me and my son deserved better! My thought process everyday was “what is the next best thing to do for us” . Take it one day at a time. The freedom is amazing ❤
I know exactly what that feeling is. Staying in denial, feeling uncomfortable to ask your "friend" about what's really going on, feeling embarrassed to ask to look at the messages. Don't be in denial. It will destroy you
She’s the type to complain about the foul things her husband does but never actually have the intention to leave. Best wishes and luck goes out to her and her kids tho 💕💕💕💕
He is not just cheating on her. He is cheating on his children, too. He is destroying their childhood and teen years, and they will never have a healthy adult relationship or marriage without therapy, or at least the odds are not good that they will. My heart goes out to her and her children.
@@Dapryor Sure they can, but I’ll never rely on it. Wish them the best of luck and move on. You will save yourself a lot of heartache, damage, stress and time wasted.
@@steelearmstrong9616 on the contrary. I’ve been cheated on and the situation gave me some perspective. I’m not with her anymore but there were things I did that pushed her in that direction. There’s never an excuse for it but unless someone’s a sociopath, they’re cheating because some need isn’t being met. People make horrible mistakes everyday and it’s naive to assume they never change.
Best of luck Hannah. A majority of us in life have been in that exact spot of betrayal then not. You'll make it because of your children. It hurts much less leaving than the hurt of irreversible pain and damage to your self respect by staying.
I'm sure that a part of Hannah is relieved. Relieved she isn't going nuts. Relieved she ,,KNEW, in her heart. Relieved no ,ore guessing. Relieved no more gaslighting. She can at least begin to think of the future.
She admitted at 2:14 that he’s cheated on her before so that conversation would have no credibility. He didn’t suffer any consequences of cheating the first time so it’s meaningless. In fact, him being faithful and not cheating should be the surprise given his history. That’s why you always leave a cheater the first time. Never give someone the opportunity to let you know they prefer someone else twice.
This is call is so helpful. I identify with everything the lady said. So it was as if I was the one calling. So, now I know I am not crazy. Thank you Dr. John. I am choosing reality.
I feel her pain. Been in a relationship for 7yrs and she outright tells me that she went home with someone because of "spite" and see if she was still desirable. It's world shattering and it's easier to say do this or do that. It's not that simple when your whole world gets flipped and bombed. You're not alone ❤
You know what you can handle. People offer advice based on their perceptions and experiences. You can judge better since you actually have spent time with the person. Some people can and maybe should be forgiven if they show true remorse, others don't.
On top of cheating, he is also insulting her intelligence with these idiotic lies.
He and the friend both are! Yep
To be fair, she’s not acting super intelligent. He keeps cheating because she keeps allowing it.
💯
The insult would be the straw for me😢
Behavior is a language
Not only are they cheating, but they think she's stupid. They're both disrespectful.
She keeps saying "I know... I know.." but she is not getting it. It didn't hit her quite yet. She is a people pleaser, she needs serious therapy jes....
So sad😢
It doesn't really matter if they are sleeping together. The disrespect is more powerful. Respect your self.
Facts shes weak and afraid. I've been there. Bless her heart.
@@tinacamara4900 If they are not sleeping together the husband did not cheat period!!!
@@moniquejones6482 What you mean boy?
My father was a serial cheater & when my mom was finally done, she packed him up while he was away on a business trip. She sat me down & asked me if I knew what happened to dogs that got the taste of sheep’s blood. I looked at her & promptly said, “You shoot them.” And she looked around at my father’s things so neatly stacked & labeled & she looked back at me & said, “I just pulled the trigger.” I never forgot that nor forgot the strength it took to admit someone doesn’t love or respect you as much as you thought. Thanks, mom for the life lesson. Good luck Hannah. Stay strong.
Sorry, I didn’t really get it. What did your mom mean by, “I just pulled the trigger?”
@@TigerTummy23it’s a phrase as in she made the last move. (Pulling the trigger in this means she finally was done)
@@BriellaEats Oh, I see. Now it makes sense. Thanks :)
@@TigerTummy23 absolutely! 😊
As someone who was married to a serial, your mom is the best. I'll remember that.
Caught my ex wife with another dude, I felt like the world dropped on my shoulders and I couldn't get out. After a few months, I realized she did me a favor by doing it 6 years into the marriage instead of 26 years into the marriage. Then, her misery set in with her new relationship, arguing and fighting all of the time. After 6-8 months, she was begging me to get back together, but with a smile I said, you got what you thought you wanted so now you get to live with your decisions.
Mic drop! Good for you!
What was the reason she said she cheated. Damn sorry man.
@@aortega701 - I am good, sucked going through it at the time but glad she did it years ago. To this day, she will still deny it even though I literally caught her. But the reason was, she "thought" he had money. Even though I worked all of the time, every time I mentioned starting my own contracting business, she would want to argue, "you will do nothing but fail". Well, she moved in with the dude she still denied cheating with, within a few months his house was in foreclosure and he was losing everything. Within a couple years I had 2 businesses with 45 employees and doing my thing.
Sometime some things can turn out bittersweet!
Good for you!!!! I’m sorry this happened
Great answer. You reap what you sow, now she can have him and keep him, LOL.
Cheaters want an easy way out to destroy their family, then cry when they’re alone.
He might have thought he'd get away with it. It might also all have been going on a lot longer than she knew.
@@emmajones8590 at the heart of it all, they want to destroy the family.
Well women should satisfied their men then cheating would not occur
@@meganbailey6511nope men have needs
@ men with low self worth can’t be satisfied. They need constant validation from women.
It takes a blatant amount of nerve to leave your bed at midnight and go to a neighbor's apartment for 2 hours, while your wife is at home waiting for you to return. Sister, it doesn't take 2 hours to open a bottle of wine. May God go with you through this difficult time.
It takes 2 hours or more of cork screwing the neighbor.
The sad part is the audacity. Like, that's how little he thinks of her, that she's an idiot who won't even realise what's happening under her nose. The arrogance to just get up and leave, in the quietest time of night, and think you're so smart no one will know.
Truth!
Not to mention he has a past history of cheating. He also lets her look at his phone but only after he erased the texts. She looks and though she can't see the actual texting, but she can see that there are hundreds of text back and forth.
Amen and I know she's scared being single with a teenager and a 10 year old, but life without him will be so much better in time. Sending you love, light, and healing energy your way.
omg my jaw dropped when she said the friend said the husband was home but she just needed help opening a bottle of wine at 12-2 am. like wow y'all couldn't have come up with anything better than that
They clearly didn't need to if she's that naive. So sad. I hope she realizes she deserves better than this husband and "best friend."
He was OPENING a bottle of wine alright...
My jaw dropped just reading the title 😂
they dont even care if the excuse sounds valid after a while, as long as they dont have to actually tell the truth
Well technically he more than likely did take “his” corkscrew to open her bottle. Is another way of saying it. She may not be lying.
Girl RUN! I was married to a cheater. Life is so much more peaceful as a single mom who isn’t dealing with a selfish man child
Same and I 100% agree with you!
im tryin to tell a friend the same thing but she wants a baby and to be married so bad. She found out her boyfriend of a year had a one year old baby and had been sneaking to visit and stay with the childs mother
SERIOUSLY
@@em7937 wrong, being convinced is part of the human experience. And it sticks, that's what being convinced implies.
You picked him. You women only want the men that are desired by all women. While you passed up all the faithful dudes in your youth because they were "nice guys"
Begin a single mom is better than begin with the wrong man who has no dignity, moral or respect for you. Period.
Just because you don't value your husband, doesn't mean that other women won't. Handle your business, and you won't have problems ❤
She's really looking for someone to tell her to ignore it or that she's overreacting..... it's heartbreaking
@@DeaconChrisstrash response. You don’t know this women. Stop projecting your inadequacies.
Well for some single motherhood is a terrifying prospect and it might be better for the children for her to maintain the facade.
@hannao139 just talk it out, and if that doesn't work pray. But don't throw your family away if something can be worked through-
My phone is available to my spouse 24/7. Being honest and having nothing to hide is a wonderful feeling.
Yes, nothing beats a clear conscience when putting your head on the pillow at night. Also, knowing you're exclusive with that one person is such a sense of security
Believe it or not everyone doesn't think like you
Leave. Divorce. Please .
It really is a wonderful thing. My phone is completely available to my partner too, he has no desire to check it, the contents would bore him to tears but it’s beautiful having nothing to hide.
I drive truck and have a young lady as my dispatcher. One day I got a text from her talking about meeting up after she got off work. Fortunately, a few minutes later she text, Sorry wrong person. I hope she was intending on sending that message to her husband.
1. Plan carefully and methodically
2. Acquire and compile evidence( P.I. if necessary)
3. Start stashing money
4. Make a long term plan
5. Unless you are in danger, pretend like everything is normal.
6. You are empowering yourself to blindside him.
7. Plan very carefully for you and kids future.
8. Compile copies of all finances. For the last 5 years.
9. Start stashing money.
10. Start stashing money.
Be kind to yourself, stay busy, spend time with support system.
Best advice!! And don’t sleep with him. No telling what you might get.
stashing money will not play well in divorce proceedings. Thorough documentation yes so you get your fair share, but not proactively stealing it. If he can prove that, it will not play favorably.
I agree. Quietly get your life in order.
Pack away treasures ready to move
@@josh.kaptur adultry Doesnt play well. Its tit for tat. Hes f**king the neighbor.
@@josh.kaptur Better plan is to work with a lawyer to make sure HE cannot remove/hide chunks of money until/during the divorce proceedings.
1. Middle of the night 🚩🚩
2. Cork Screw 🚩🚩
3. Deleted text messages 🚩🚩
4. He's cheated before🚩
The list goes on
He's a man 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩
😂😂😂 sorry, I couldn’t resist!
Yeah. . . . the list just goes on and on. . . .
“That’s called a regular affair, not an emotional affair”, you could hear the heartbreak in her voice after that💔
Sadly he has been gaslighting her for so long that she has learned how to gaslight herself.
I hope you get the peace and healing you deserve Hannah. You deserve so much more. Wishing you well.💜
When I was pregnant and caught him cheating, the terror was so bad I only had the ability to hate on the other woman and could only think about what to do to make him leave her and choose me over her. Zero rational, zero self worth, 100% deception. Therefore I could not judge the willingness of this lady to keep trying but she HAS TO GET OUT 😰
I’m sorry you went through that love. I hope you have healed and are stronger than ever 🤍 God bless you and may you receive many blessings in your life
Well don't be hard on yourself, you were also pregnant, I can bet that changes things. You were probably in nesting mode and yours and your child survival will take heed before things like "rational, self worth" etc.
Omg thats horrible
I'm so sorry
I’ve been there.. still learning to forgive myself for that!!!
Wow, I don’t know if I could be as forgiving as you
I can’t imagine my wife asking to see my phone and telling her “no”
Especially after you’d already been caught cheating before lol
EXACTLY!
Its the reality for SO many women
@@huntergreene7306 and men. That’s really not a gender specific thing.
@@berniegordon6338 - 100%
That is not your best friend sis. They are definitely sleeping together.
Terrible
Get a good lawyer girl!!!
Relax , it was just a really tough bottle of wine to open, took a few hours
@@nicklowe_the bottle was probably full of hot air.
@@nicklowe_ 😂😂 he was screwing something alright.
Sounds like she's been gaslighted for so long, she wants to believe he's not having an affair 😢.
I think she knows, she's just too afraid to admit it to herself.
@@YourOpinionMatta How could you not know with ludicrous excuses such as the one they offered?!
I think it’s more self convincing because of the hardships single motherhood brings
100%. My ex's affair went on for close to a year, almost in plain view, before I put the divorce papers in front of her. I wanted to believe the lies and that my gut was wrong. She lied for the first six months of the court proceedings before she got cornered with the threat of proof. She came clean and vindicated every single suspicion I'd had for the previous 18 months. This poor woman on the call is dealing with the same thing. Hannah ... go to court and destroy this monster. The thought of it is terrifying, I know. At times, you'll feel like there's no point in continuing on or that it'll never end. But if you're going through hell, keep going. It doesn't last forever here.
She’s probably believing it for financial reasons. Sometimes the amount of work it’ll take to leave the situation makes you just wanna believe the lies.
I have been in this position. I knew something was very wrong and we were going to counselling. He swore to me and the counsellor that he was not having an affair and that I was paranoid and untrusting. Then his girlfriend came knocking on my door and told me what they had been doing and that I needed to get out of the way for their "true love". Such a shot to the gut, but in one way, I felt so much better - I was NOT crazy. All those times I sensed that he was lying, that there was a big cloud over us, was real! I was NOT crazy. He was just a big liar. And their "true love" was soon jettisoned as he tried to get me back. I could not go back. It is painful, but you get through it. And there is a better life ahead.
You need to listen to your own emotions and not let a dude tell you 'you are crazy'. Imagine of that girl never came knoking. You would live to the rest of your life wondering if you are crazy. My lord
Her husband is a total ass. She deserves better.
She has some nerve to go tell the wife to back off. Seriously, the audacity in some people; it’s like the twilight zone.
She’s a good person. That took a lot of bravery to even call in and say it. You’ll make it, Hannah!
I don't understand when people say they are your friend and betray you in the worst ways. Disgusting
No friends, no trust
No one is your friend. Trust no one but pretent that you do
@@steelearmstrong9616 People who say trust no one are afraid to get hurt. Trusting others you're close with is a normal part of life. The problem is, don't continue trusting them after they give you reasons not to, such as in this case.
I have had abilities my whole life, and I can read people like a book.
@@GameChanger597 Acceptance
When your husband won’t show you the text messages, there’s a problem. A big problem. Bless her!
Why she has his number?
@@not-even-german4892My husband & I are friends with other couples from church. With one of them, we have a running 4-person texting thread so we can make plans for our next dinner & game night together, pass along any news quickly, share funny GIFs, or whatever. It’s not totally weird to have phone numbers of close friends of the family.
That being said……. With ANY history of even an inkling of cheating, having other women’s phone numbers should have been a thing of the past. I feel so sorry for this girl. 😢
@@not-even-german4892That part's not at all strange. All four of them are friends and next door neighbours and they do things with their kids together so they would have each other's numbers even just for emergencies as neighbours. It's the secrets and lying and deleting things that makes it all weird.
He's an adult and he isn't required by law to show his phone.
She can go to the provider and get the messages that way.....I wish people would remember that
Oh man I have never heard Dr. John say, “Until you sit in reality, I can’t help you” ugg that was powerful 😓 I feel so bad for this lady.!!
I don’t. She already took him back after cheating. She’s deserves it.
@@mrv2308wow!:she deserved it!! That's ridiculous fool! Your so helpful..and kind..and putting yourself in this wife (with children) position, and understanding sometimes people do try to work out a ONE time problem..but thats why she is CALLING..for counsel on how to deal with this hel..now that she knows it's happened a 2nd time, and she has to uproot her children's lives and hers and go thru hel..but yes let's put ALL THIS on her, not the husband, the creep who broke his promise AGAIN, I guess you don't know about compassion to people who are seeking to do the right thing..youre a very unkind, mean-spirited person!
@@mrv2308 damn
"Behavior is a language. "
That's about as simple as it gets.
Your work speaks volumes of the kind of man you are. efficient, organized and result oriented well done , Dale Valskov you're soo good at what you do
Is this a meme, or is it just a bot farm that posted/liked comments on the wrong video?
@@steelsmacklooks like a bot
She is desperate to stay married. She KNOWS the truth.
Sadly true,,, anything to stay married
This is so unfortunate and saddening!
AMEN!
Yes that's exactly right. sad.
I won't judge her choices. She has a history that is influencing her decisions. She's doing what she thinks is best for her and her children. She is the one who will live with her choices - not us. "I would....". "I wouldn't...." Is all speculation. You don't KNOW until your actually the one living it and even then your basing your decisions in a different history and perspective.
I wish this woman peace of mind - whatever she chooses to do. It's a tuff spot to be in.
NS-jtv99 YA EXACTLY YOU KNOW IF SOMEONE'S COMING IN AT 12 MIDNIGHT, OR 2 AM. YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHAT'S GOING ON.
Her soon-to-be divorce attorney can subpoena those text messages.
It doesn’t even matter she said the same thing
Save your money, Hannah. You don't need them.
It doesn’t matter anymore if someone cheats. The courts couldn’t care LESS who cheated on who. If you go in with that in mind it may help you with custody issues.
in many states, it won't matter
Most all states have no fault divorce. The court does not care about who sleeps around in a marriage. 15:18
His approach with her was so honest/frank and still remained so gentle. Great job with this call truly
+1
Run! 🏃 My best friend of 20yrs & husband 10yrs, are now married to each other.
I wanted to believe them, as to not hurt their feelings. My bad. They both became my worst enemies.
That is awful. I am so sorry. My ex-husband cheated on me with my sister when our son was a newborn. I was in the house asleep, and they were in his car in the yard.
WHY do these guys get married and have children the hurt and destruction they leave behind if you want to be a player STAY SINGLE😢
Takes two to tango.
Amen!
The guy likes having a girl that loves them, but they also can't help trying to get with other women. I knew a few dudes like this in college. I don't know if they stopped doing this after getting married
Because they are male.
Because marriage doesn’t fix their undesciplined penis
Get a lawyer. Blindside him. Get the house, child support and alimony. Find your real friends and family that you have to help you.
I agree 100% except, in this particular case, about getting the house. Then she has to live next to her.
Seriously and in the case of infidelity she’ll get more than him.
@@kateruterbories2692 My thought is that she can sell the house and get another one in another part of town or move to another city or state.
@@michellec3349 Not in today's world (speaking from experience.). Everything is split 50/50.
U
If he had nothing to hide, showing her his phone would be a nonissue. Also, it doesn't take 2 hours to open a bottle of wine. Hannah, you don't deserve to be treated this way. Also, as Dr. John said, she's not your best friend. She doesn't respect you or your marriage. I hope you get away from both of them.
I despise cheaters. Makes me freaking sick!
Who needs enemies with “friends” like her? 🤮 Run, Hannah!
Caller isn’t innocent. She married a hot man other women want because of her inherent superficiality and now acts surprised he has options. I guarantee if she sought her husband in the computer lab instead of the nightclub or the football field, this wouldn’t be an issue. Oh no, I parked my Ferrari in a high-crime neighborhood with the keys in it and it got stolen, I’m such a victim!
Yep. I know the feeling well. Your friends should never be friends w your man
Who needs a husband with a husband like him? 🤢🤮
So true Rule #1: Don't share personal info about your marriage with friends or family. I learned the hard way too.
Sadest part is I can tell she won't leave she doesn't sound like she has an actually support system. Hope she gets the help she deserves.
She's not even crying. She's so numb to his bs.
A support system is not required to have a backbone. She’s a doormat and needs to come to the realization that she can be by herself and ok with her kids. Her kids are not babies and he has done this before.
@@whosaidthat9265 obviously a support system is not necessary but it helps when you know you have someone to fall back on.
I’d divorce him and surrender my parental rights.😂 Enjoy, MFer.
it sounds to me like she thinks believing he's cheating means all the years she has spent making it work are in vain. 10 whole years only to be betrayed by her friend and her husband. I feel sad for her
My ex's affair partner came to our home and physically fought me! My ex never stopped seeing her after that...they never change. SAVE YOURSELF!
Oh my word
So, you stayed? How sad..
@@mrv2308she literally said “my ex”
@@mrv2308 She said her EX'S...
@@mrv2308 did you not see ex? Sad…
My self esteem Would never allow me to stay with someone that cheated on me At all once.
You might feel differently if you're married with kids. I don't understand this woman's circumstances myself but I do know if I were to leave my husband it would implode my kids' lives. It's a terribly difficult decision she has to make.
@@Lulusnotreadyforthisstaying with someone who betrayed you will also implode your children’s lives. By staying you are teaching them that someone can betray your every living being, put their own children in a horrible situation and you should allow it to be so by staying with the person who betrayed your entire family. That’s a lot worse than leaving
@elettramia6380 you don't tell your kids about infidelity... You don't put kids in the middle of adult situations... They should never know their parents was unfaithful
@@Lulusnotreadyforthis thats not a good reason to stay
@Lulusnotreadyforthis thats still not a good idea in my opinion
I can’t even imagine as a mom of two lil kids how hard this is 😢. I hope she finds healing, praying she has the strength to move on and forward.
This is when you put your life and others in another persons hands.
That is why I have no kids.
Noone deserves that
My heart absolutely breaks for you my girl.
You are worth so much more.
Why, she already admitted that he cheated on her before. Him not cheating would be the surprise.
She sounds like she doesn't have any self worth.
I feel so bad for her. I can relate to not wanting to see what's in front of you. She's not crazy, he's trying to make her think she is.
Been there - it's so crazymaking when uncovering years of lies
Get rid of them both. Ain't nothing best friend out here. My circle is small and I like it like that.
Yes!!!
She needs to talk to her "friend's husband and compare notes.
Exactly this 💯
Totally !
The husband next door wasn't putting babies to bed at midnight. He was in on the action.
@@Jessica-J.ones. lol damn
She needs to ask the husband about where he was that night and tell him her story. Her husband was in their house for two hours after midnight? Where was he? Is her story BS (yes). Then plan the big escape after the finances are in order.
Before cell phones, we shared a physical wall phone. I hate how these phones are set up to protect privacy from spouses now.
It’s like he wasn’t even trying to hide it
Because she has shown him that no matter what he does, no matter how blatant, she can't pick herself up to follow through and leave. You have to love and respect yourself first.
@@amaragrace94💯
@@amaragrace94 Maybe it's his way of getting her to leave.
Infidelity should be treated as a very serious crime
ABSOLUTELY!
I agree, also should count in a divorce. Some states are "no fault" and it doesn't matter if your spouse cheated.. it's not right.
😂
I understand your frustrations but don’t give the government any idea pls
It is on Muslim countries. Under Sharia law. Is that what you want? Sharia law? Because most Westerners whinge and whine that they would never want sharia law. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Opening a bottle of wine takes 2 mins, not 2 hours.
Yeah the excuse was pitiful at best. Should have come up with a better lie
Where's her husband at, wake him up to open the wine.
Cork screw = 2 minutes
The “other” screw = 2 hours
I take two minutes. 😳
It was real deep in there…
That’s an actual affair.
Yup I’ve been there… I felt like I was crazy too and the best decision I made was move on and live my life. Initially it was difficult but omg let me tell u it was freeing. No more living in eggshells no more lies or having to tip toe around his bs. I was also told by his counsellor and my counsellor that I was dealing with a narcissist and to me it sounds like u may also be dealing with one.
Ma'am, love yourself. It's time to prioritize yourself. Leave him.
He basically told her he doesn't care about her or their children. Really hope she finds the courage to leave
I also hope she leaves him. All the time, energy and love she poured into him was a waste of time. She should have poured it into herself and when she does that she will become the kind of woman he cant get because she will be way above his level. He is basically garbage when he cheats. Nobody wants a cheater when they find out.
It's over, keep it moving lady
Red flags:
-Sneaking next door past midnight to your former best friend to open a wine bottle
-Deleting text messages
-Zero respect and lack of boundaries from him
If you have to post rules on the fridge about not going over to other women’s houses at night… gurl, run.
I wonder what the neighbour's husband thinks about all of this?
He's probably in on it.@@emmajones8590
Change the fridge
@@emmajones8590maybe the guy has no fridge
@@emmajones8590 I wish he would have asked her if she said anything to the husband bc I GUARANTEE she didn't & he has no clue about it, & was upstairs sleeping with their child. 🤦🏻♀️😔
I promise after you get rid of him and time passes you will be really proud of yourself and there are good people out there. You deserve much better. Don't be his punching bag!
I love that he reminded her that her children are taking their cues about relationships by watching her and her husband. She owes it to them to start a new life.
I lived this. Can't tell you how very, very much I wanted him to choose our marriage, how I wanted him to be honest, how I chose to overlook continued red flags and lies. The following years were brutal - not going to lie. Oh, sweet lady, I know your pain. May God be real and present, and may you learn what I did: When all I have left is God, He is enough.
Oh wow. This!!!! 😩 sometimes I feel the God has to show us. It’s horrible but people can be soooo horrifying
!!!
More Than Enough!!
God bless you, you lost a friend and a husband that’s tough to accept.
Not only are the husband and neighbor liars, they’re bad liars. “I needed him to uncork a bottle of wine”? Really?
Maybe “uncork a bottle of wine” can become a new euphemism for fooling around. Kind of like “hiking the Appalachian Trail” was back in the day.
For 2 hours
It's taken me dang near 2 hours once to open a bottle of wine, but I didn't have the corkscrew. So gotta call BS on this male.
Idk it feels like they admitted a lot with that statement 😂
"I bet that cork went in and out of that bottle a few times"
It just kept glitching on me when I tried this video tutorial so firstly I would say thank you for the video and secondly, thank you Dale Valskov meeting you was a blessing in disguise keep up with the good work I'm sure a lot of people will be needing your assistance iin the nearest future after seeing this
Account of mine also got hacked and I followed the method as explained in this video but I'm unable to proceed after recording the selfie video. Thank you Dale Valskov . It brings me immense joy to witness his name appearing frequently in comments, a clear indication of the commendable work he’s been doing.
Hes already cheated ... and nows hes going after the most available person and lying about it.... disgusting. Im glad you had that camera. Take the kids and leave.... he isnt worth it. You deserve love and commitment and honesty. Hugs girlie!
woahhh the kids deserve a father... marriage is over but dont take the kids
What do you mean take the kids ??!!! Lol. Women are crazy. Take the kids. lol. He’s their FATHER. He’s not abusing them. Most likely she’s not into having a sexual relationship with him anymore so he’s doing the super obvious thing to do. That’s what it usually is. Seen this a bazillion times. Boring.
@@onlyht Would you be willing to leave your children with the spouse who cheated TWICE on you? I wouldn't. If said spouse had lied to me about 2 affairs and was doing so with my BEST FRIEND. I wouldn't trust that person with anything I held dear.
May I ask why you deem the kids needing a father and not the mother? If he's been gaslighting her over 2 affairs, what makes you think he wouldn't gaslight his kids, wait until they're asleep and go find another woman to sleep with?
In my book, the mom is a much better parent than the dad. That doesn't mean he cannot have partial custody or maybe just visiting rights. But he's already proven that he's more interested in himself than any one else.
@@onlyht a father which models how to be disrespectful is not someone I'd want around my children. It's called the consequences of your actions.
@@alycewich4472 this is why we need laws to protect fatherhood.. women think they can just take the kids because he cheated.. insane
I’m sorry, Hannah. 😔 I wouldn’t want to believe it, either.
I know that being alone with your children can be frightening. I've been there. I was a stay-at-home mum with 3 children, 2 of whom were disabled. But But you'll get through these difficult times because you worth it. I'm French (and my english can seem weird) and fortunately in my country we have a lot of help for single or isolated mothers. Don't stay alone and don't hesitate or be ashamed to ask those around you for help. All my thoughts are with you. It's not an easy road, but you'll come out of it much stronger. Love from France
I got divorced after 15 years. Waa hard, but best thing I did was leave that toxic. It never ends. I hope that she leaves and putz herself first
Just listened to this again; amazing how some people can LIE so easily. And How many women betray other women as well….it’s astonishing.
Girl you deserve peace.
This hurts, I have been there. And you are going to get through this.
You have my support AND love.
Gabriela
So sad. He is lying and then gaslighting you. It’s just cruel.
I’m so so sorry too
A spouse who cheated and was taken back should absolutely not be disappearing at midnight! It doesn’t even matter if something happened between them or not that’s inappropriate.
He feels like he can because she already took him back. When will you spineless people get that?
This poor, poor woman. And her poor children. What a terrible, horrible, destructive mess that they do not deserve. Get the kids and get out. Grieve, heal, and rebuild.
The efficiency of this Dale Valskov is next level. To juggle walk throughs of various angles on the topic delivered to-camera, differnet content per topic from various folks underneath the umbrella of the track list of the larger big band concert itself is engaging and refined. To make a dense taccess like this so digestible is really something. Awesome work jack!!
Why is she even calling she needs to confront her husband and “best friend” with the other spouse who’s being cheated on.
Leaving a marriage for any reason, even decades like me, is very hard. Let me tell you, though, the other side is tranquil. Even if I never date or marry again I have my peace and happiness.
💯 Cannot agree more.
@@alycewich4472 or some type of resemblance of it. It’s so much better, though.
Of course it is. Hell, sometimes even ending a friendship is hard, let alone a marriage. But some people are just bad (for you) sometimes.
Maya Angelou once famously said: "When someone shows who they really are, believe them". Your choice in this matter seems clear to me, and I think to you as well.....the biggest obstacle for some of us, is the will. You are worth much more than that.....LEAN FORWARD!! Hoping for the best....
"... believe them the first time." Even better.
This happened to me and the best advice is walk away. No one who love you will emotionally harm you. That is not the love of your life.
Sometimes with cheating, people feel as though they have to catch the person 100% in the act. And that means either seeing messages, compromising situation. You can just that is acting in a way that is disrespectful to you and your marriage. He is showing that he is willing to hide things from you, and lie to your face. That is enough to leave. Even if they never actually had sex, his behavior, his gas lighting, is showing disrespect the marriage on enough to leave.
Jez, this is as painful to listen to. I went through a damn near identical situation. And homeboy said something that is so true. Granted what’s been done, don’t expect him to suddenly change up for the better when confronted. Basically, what I learned - when people SHOW YOU who they are, believe them
Why is her husband texting her best friend literally at all? My best friends text me to ask my husband something and my husband would text me to ask them. Never in all of our years has he ever had one of my friend’s numbers and texted them. Nor would he even think it’s okay to go to their houses. He would think it’s weird. A faithful man would be like “what? Why? No”. Faithful men don’t put themselves in situations where anything can be twisted, ever. Neither would a faithful woman. I’m not texting his best friends either.
This guy is sleeping with her best friend
My best friends' husbands all have my number and I have all of theirs. I've had friends' husbands text me to ask me for gift advice, invite me to surprise parties, ask if I knew where one of them was when they weren't answering their phone, ask for my advice due to the work I do, all kinds of reasons and none of us have ever done anything even slightly inappropriate. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the closest person to you in your life having friendships with the other people who are close to you.
@@azzieadareI agree with you. God forbid the spouse goes missing. I'm not married but I do have grown kids and I didn't have any of their friends numbers until it dawned on me. My adult daughter leaves for days on end. And I have a teenage son.
I also have my brother in laws number. I only text him on Father's day. Lol. We don't live in the same state though. But even if we did I mean if he can't do something for me during business hours or the weekend then it ain't gone get done. But he wouldn't be trying to be secretive like ol boy.
I remember an ex of mines who had a gang of female friends because he worked at a bank etc. etc. and he held a conversation for like 15 minutes with a female friend in front of me. They were cackling and everything. But the minute he has to leave the room or whisper, I know what's up. And I'll chuck the deuces. ✌️
@@azzieadareyes but it is important to note those husbands are only reaching out to you in regards to their spouse, which is a mutual person in your life.
@@azzieadare I am not saying there is. I am saying it can VERY easily be abused. I’ve been with my husband since high school. We are now mid 30s and we have all of the same friends. I trust him implicitly as does he me, but he has even told me, I literally mentioned this to him just now after reading your comment and he said verbatim “I find it odd and weird that a man is late night texting his wife’s best friend and to boot she is going over there because she called him at midnight. I have nothing to talk to our women friends about at midnight. Absolutely nothing. That guy isn’t right and she knows it”.
I wouldn’t have an issue if he texted my best friends, nor would he if I texted his, the point is we just don’t. We don’t even think to have a rolling conversation with each other’s friends. It has nothing to do with what you said, it’s that it isn’t even a thought to want to. Him wanting to is a waving red flag on a big red truck.
Just last week I texted the husband of a girlfriend to ask if he knew an electrician (he’s lived here forever and knows everyone).
I added his wife’s number onto the text and made it a group chat. That way everything is transparent.
That has to be one of the WORST lies I have ever heard for being gone for TWO hours in the middle of the night. Hannah, I’m really sorry. You are worth so much more than this. Wishing you and your babies peace as you move forward. Know you have an army behind you supporting you through this journey. ❤️
My ex wife told me the naked pictures she was sending and receiving from her affair partner was just how her and her friend joke around with each other lol.
Hanna babe, my heart goes out to you. Please don’t allow him to gaslight you and take you for granted. I would have to invite the “best friend” and her husband over for dinner and confront both her and my husband. You deserve better and so do your kids. I’m praying for you and the kids.
One of the most powerful things that John does with every call I’ve noticed-is the pause…he stops talking and at that moment-it feels so powerful! The quiet silence between him & the caller-it allows everyone to really take in what is happening -Everything! It’s the point where we realize what is really going on! Thank you John for your insight & knowledge! I found your channel last month & it’s provided much guidance on relationships for me…thank you for what you do! ❤️🩹Also-I love your taste in music John! SD, Frank Turner! ✨✨✨
I find it so irritating that he doesn't even let her tell the story of all the reasons she suspects him, he just jumps in rightvat the start and keeps talking for nearly four full minutes. Let the caller make the call, instead of interrupting and doing all the bloody talking, urrgh!
So annoying! I just wanted her to tell her story first
It's amazing what you do Dale Valskov We need a lot of people with your skills and set who have good intentions and spread love
She doesn’t sound “done.” She’s going to stick around and he’s going to do it again.
Yep
She needs to cheat back
@@mexicana4721she to weak for that she put up with cheating way to long n been gaslighting by him.
Cathy, you are judging someone mid-decision. She has been lied to and gaslit for so long, she just needed a second opinion (she cannot go to her now-former 'best friend' for that).
As for the other comments on this thread "cheat back" - never lower yourself to scum level, rise above and show integrity. Such a dumb suggestion.
As for "weak" - no, trusting (but trusting the wrong person in this case). Trust is a sign of good character, which is exploited by those with poor character.
@@mexicana4721That’s a TERRIBLE model to her 13 year old and 8 year old. 2 parent who cheat on each other, and have zero integrity. What a great suggestion… 🙄
To the caller- I am so very sorry. I am going through something similar, and it is so hard and painful. I wish you the best. Please take care of YOU and your children ❤️
Not a friend, let alone best friend. Her husband needs to know too. She needs to build the courage to leave. Think of what's best for herself and children. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
I think he will end up walking out on her before she leaves.
Poor woman, she sounds like she is such a sweet person… don’t worry Hannah, kind hearted people like you are very resilient. I am sure you will find a lot of good and trustworthy friends and a loving partner at the end of all this mess ❤️
Make the decision to leave, it's hard but you will get through it
Opening a bottle of wine ❌
Opening best friends legs ✅
Cork screw ❌
Actual screw ✅
Well said
😂😂😂😂
He said grenades were not going to help, guys 😂
To them both of those phases mean the same.
You are strong enough to do this! I walked away from a narcissist with a yr old son. I knew me and my son deserved better! My thought process everyday was “what is the next best thing to do for us” . Take it one day at a time. The freedom is amazing ❤
I know exactly what that feeling is.
Staying in denial, feeling uncomfortable to ask your "friend" about what's really going on, feeling embarrassed to ask to look at the messages.
Don't be in denial. It will destroy you
She’s the type to complain about the foul things her husband does but never actually have the intention to leave. Best wishes and luck goes out to her and her kids tho 💕💕💕💕
Some are afraid.
He is not just cheating on her. He is cheating on his children, too. He is destroying their childhood and teen years, and they will never have a healthy adult relationship or marriage without therapy, or at least the odds are not good that they will. My heart goes out to her and her children.
Wild “needed help with a cork screw for a bottle of wine.” 😂😂
That’s a euphemism if I’ve ever heard one.
Idk what you mean, my female friend needed help opening a jar of mayo just this morning at 1:30am
@@kyledodson2992 Opening cans of sausage is always a challenge for her, too.
@@kyledodson2992😂
Up soaking cork all night long.......
You handled this case/talk with her in such a good manner Dr Delony!
Once a cheater always a cheater. Never take back a cheater - male or female.
That’s not always true. People can change and you’ve gotta be open to that.
@@Dapryor Sure they can, but I’ll never rely on it. Wish them the best of luck and move on. You will save yourself a lot of heartache, damage, stress and time wasted.
@@DapryorI came here to say that. I know a woman who married her side guy and they’ve got a great family. Things happen.
@@Dapryor No, wrong. You sound like you have cheated
@@steelearmstrong9616 on the contrary. I’ve been cheated on and the situation gave me some perspective. I’m not with her anymore but there were things I did that pushed her in that direction. There’s never an excuse for it but unless someone’s a sociopath, they’re cheating because some need isn’t being met. People make horrible mistakes everyday and it’s naive to assume they never change.
See an attorney with no warning. They are having an affair. Divorce him and get as much as you can.
You'll find a better man Hannah who sees and value's you for who you are, Stay strong !
She needed help with a cork screw, minus the cork part.
Best of luck Hannah. A majority of us in life have been in that exact spot of betrayal then not. You'll make it because of your children. It hurts much less leaving than the hurt of irreversible pain and damage to your self respect by staying.
I'm sure that a part of Hannah is relieved. Relieved she isn't going nuts. Relieved she ,,KNEW, in her heart. Relieved no ,ore guessing. Relieved no more gaslighting. She can at least begin to think of the future.
She admitted at 2:14 that he’s cheated on her before so that conversation would have no credibility. He didn’t suffer any consequences of cheating the first time so it’s meaningless. In fact, him being faithful and not cheating should be the surprise given his history. That’s why you always leave a cheater the first time. Never give someone the opportunity to let you know they prefer someone else twice.
Wake up lady! You deserve so much better.
The “he never cared” hit ME hard…I can only imagine what this feels like because wow. I don’t wish this on nobody
This is call is so helpful. I identify with everything the lady said. So it was as if I was the one calling. So, now I know I am not crazy. Thank you Dr. John. I am choosing reality.
I went through this. My ex displayed all the same behavior and deceit. I was proven correct about all my suspicions. RUN, girl.
I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤
I feel her pain. Been in a relationship for 7yrs and she outright tells me that she went home with someone because of "spite" and see if she was still desirable. It's world shattering and it's easier to say do this or do that. It's not that simple when your whole world gets flipped and bombed. You're not alone ❤
You know what you can handle. People offer advice based on their perceptions and experiences. You can judge better since you actually have spent time with the person. Some people can and maybe should be forgiven if they show true remorse, others don't.
I'm so sorry. Run from her ASAP if you feel your self esteem dropping