Abusive Narcissist Or Professional Victim Borderline? How To Tell The Difference.
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- Опубліковано 20 чер 2024
- 🔴 New Course: Narcissistic Cults Decoded
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00:00 Intro
01:00 The Difference Between Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissism
02:57 Emotion Dysregulation
12:02 Abandonment Anxiety
13:44 Pressure Testing
14:12 Grandiose Narcissist
37:19 Victimhood Narrative
01:04:00 Effect Of Narcissist and Borderline Abuse
01:07:02 PTSD
01:14:57 Shared Fantasy
01:17:05 What Keeps You In Relationships
01:30:09 Narcissistic Depletion
01:36:06 Invulnerability Signaling
01:53:00 Setting Boundaries
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“Neglect is abuse.” Thank you for bringing this up. He would deny abuse because it wasn’t physical.
Told a priest I was being abused. He assured me it was only, neglect. As if neglect is nothing.
I can't believe this is free. I'm very grateful, Richard.
RIGHT??!!
Well said x
Absolutely! I would love to go to one of his seminars one day (but who does'nt watching these video's 😄). And then a healing journey roadtrip through the south of England right after that... 🙏🏻🤩
Thank you very much for all you doing for people. I wish people could understand how brilliant this information. Unfortunately it’s so many…😟😔lost people not even realizing how much of the life is just waisted.
I was so long blind too.
Not anymore 😁
And never again!
Thank you
It’s such a blessing to have Richard to educate us. I have learned so much that’s valuable every day in my life. So many “Aha” moments for me. He’s helped me to become wiser to narcissistic behavior in people n therefore have a built in armor to protect myself. He’s helped me to realize there’s no resolution with some people n sometimes walking away is the only productive solution for your own sanity n how to handle it when you can’t walk away. I’m grateful for his delivery because those of us dealing with this in our lives need his blunt frankness in order to absorb his information. His humor is a bonus! 👍🏽😆I’m with you. I’m grateful too. I’ve been watching him for a couple years now n he’s helped me grow into narc repellent. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m still a work in progress but I improve with every video. Be well, Jess. 🌞✌🏽🌻
Regarding secondary trauma; My dad is a Vietnam Vet with PTSD and was suicidal in the 1980s, I was born in 81. My mother is personality disordered, my brother brought the word "narcissist" to my attention back in 2010. I had to go no contact with the whole family as I was spiraling into worse mental, physical and emotional health at the age of 35. Anyway, when I was growing up, emotions were not tolerated in my home. My mother would always say, think about your dad, he doesnt need this. No one, I mean NO ONE ever thought, maybe this family and their children could use some extra assistance since their father is a Vet. My brother was diagnosed with MS at the age of 23 in 1996, my sister has been a drug addict since 2006 and I was diagnosed with C(PTSD) in 2017 but they think it goes far back into childhood, when I was diagnosed with an ulcer at 12 years old! Im venting a bit here, but what do therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists do in all those years of school that they cant see the big picture? If someone like me was born in this situation like millions of others, present with these symptoms, maybe take the focus off of spending years of therapy and saying dude...you need to get away from people and jobs that disrespect you and go from there. At least validate it. Instead they minimize it saying oh they didnt mean it, they have their own traumas. Well good for them, I dont treat people like that. And im not being a codependent punching bag for them anymore!
Yes what a total waste of resources. The entire family should be treated, as the entire family is traumatized. What a terrible thing that war was, claiming victims in the US and Vietnam for generations. If you don't know the channel, another good one to compliment Richard's is the Crappy Childhood Fairy 🙏
@@juliettailor1616 Yes, thank you 🏵
Very well said
Absolutely I've thought this too. Weirdly in my family I'm the one with MS, you story is so similar to mine but i don't have a vet dad. I'm going no contact with majority of my family. Wishing you all the best 👍
Sounds like a rough, rough road. Similar here. I have a masters in mental health counseling. I've been in the field for 35 years. I was never adequately prepared to work with personality disordered peeps. That's a major fail in the education system
When I turned on UA-cam this morning, I heard the very words that I needed to hear in order to stop my stomach from hurting. I met a Man with intense childhood trauma and passive aggression . He came into my life for a very short time and he practically destroyed me without realizing it. Now I'm binge-watching your videos and they are really explaining things. Thank you
People who are not connected to God within become "hungry ghosts" that devour others emotionally instead of aligning with God/Source/higher power.
Passive aggressive people are THE WORST, you survived , you prevailed. WAY TO GO!!!✌🏻🙏🏻❤️✨✨✨
Dr. Ramani is also fantastic at explaining and clarifying
@@Sky_Star-hq6bx everybody says that but her videos are so extremely complicated and she never really gets to the issue, just confuses more.
Had one of those too, ugh!!
You are saving lives from suicide and illnesses related to depression by sharing this insight! Thank you for shining the light of truth!
Every part of Richard's videos are life saving. He is gold. We must protect him at all costs. 😮 I have been feeling guilt for years. I haven't used the physical movement to help. I will definitely do more walking. I used to run, but I can't now. I can't physically run. I need to physically move.
TY - I am no longer going to live my life thinking there is something wrong with me! I am not BPD or NPD I am a trauma survivor - :)
Same here!
Would make MORE SENSE telling the story, I met someone with severe personal problems, I almost was caught up in it.
Saying you're " a survivor " keeps empowering the abuse you once encountered.
Move on.
Stop being a victim
My ex spouse was diagnosed with intermittent explosive personality disorder right before we divorce. When you said "its your or me" - I swear that was my last words when I left him. Personality disorders take every ounce of energy you have, until you finally have nothing left to give.
Can a family share a fantasy? Cause I see my closest family in denial of the abuse we suffered in our childhood.
Absolutely! There can be some kind of unspoken conspiracy inside a family where everybody will unconsciously work together in order to keep the lid on abuse. Scapegoating and bullying within a toxic family system is actually and sadly quite normal.
Even entire societies can share a fantasy. Just look at the Nazis...
I've felt the same experience; then, I 'd just chalked it up to sheepthink (a word?) and defensively blanket labeled them--but, in time, I tried to see each individual for their injuries, too--and thus the patterns of adapting they've taken to, and am able to see those not wanting ng to deal--unable--and the one who's a powerful ringleader who'd been diagnosed with psychopathic traits in childhood, and is very powerfully intertwinedwith the family's lives. I'd encourage you to write about each person, separate from any other even if mates. Consider, leading with your gut--notice your first instinct regarding your thoughts upon them--if objective and seeking to know with a dedication to reality irregardless of any other thing than the truth, and you know with that, you can move thru it and move on. People are complicated despite the surface sheep following tendencies--so their seemingly to go along with the leading Narc could be a defensive positioning of themselves, and secretly they feel guilty for not standing up against the evildoers!
As a recovered BPD sufferer, I agree with all of your descriptions of BPD Richard.
My most recent ex is a borderline, and it brought me back into disregulation.
He was terrifying.
It was absolutely awful and made me realise the damage I had done to every man I'd ever been with - I destroyed other people 😢
Richard Grannon is a man who grasps my attention with his deep understanding and genuine compassion; his ways of explaining and illustrating narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder, with his knowledgeable display of PTSD, cPTSD and the fracturing of the personality and mind of an individual is exquisite.
His informative and insightful approach in his teaching is way above and beyond.
LOL on
Laika D. I feel exactly the same way. I was in the shared fantasy for a long, long time. Until he lost it…drugs & crime. He’s gone. Divorce served. Let the healing begin. Knowledge is power! Richard is not only a handsome dude with a sexy accent. He is one of the best gurus on this subject. Trust me. I have watched many others. Him & Sam Vankin r GREAT!
@@gemcove5783
Thank you. I agere.
I AGREE!!!
I always thought one of my exes was a narcissist, but now I suspect they were borderline. I felt I was often being punished by him for little things I did that were upsetting him so much - who I saw, where I went, what time I did things, what I didn't bring or give him that I should have.... it wasn't just that he wanted control, he took everything as a personal insult. He had a huge victim story he talked about constantly. Angry rages, sulking, crying...all used to manipulate me.
You don't get to exist, and for some reason you are considered responsible for THEIR shit. My mother used to say if my father had diarrhea, somehow it was going to be her fault.
My ex's victim story was mainly about his mother too. She used to beat him. It also surrounded his upbringing in a rough city. He would tell everyone how he was from that city, and it was part of his identity. I later found out he moved from it when he was 8 years old and relocated. That was a shock as it didn't really fit his tail that he didn't grow up in our rural, more boring area. He never mentioned childhood memories from our location, even though he was there aged 8-18. The victim stories they tell aren't even necessarily all true. They use them as an excuse to control you, excuse their behaviour and get sympathy.
That sounds definitely more like NPD not BPD.
@@reneegardner2286 BPD can be exploitative
Please, Dr. Ramani has been hugely helpful in explaining Narcissists and how to deal with them
This is great data around the borderline/cptsd diagnosis. I was open to receive a narcissist diagnosis bc I was open to being self reflective, acknowledge my blindspots and owning my part. I was diagnosed with cptsd but heard it was similar to borderline. I appreciate knowing the difference between the two.
Hello, it was Dr Ramani Durvasula [clinical psychologist] who says BPD (borderline) should be recategorized as emotional personality disorder.
I have recently been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, but listening to you, Dr Ramani & others, I personally feel more related to (dare I say it) borderline or even Narcissim.
I've struggled with this illness for as long as I can remember, it's a very serious mental disorder and I appreciate people like yourself giving your time.
Thank you
Richard I worked in mental health for 20 years and I still learn so much from your video's.
I have BPD, and needing to be the Biggest victim in the room, I relate to that. Not only that, but I need to be seen as the happiest in the room in spite of being the biggest victim. And everyone should know it.
I am really glad and grateful for this lecture. I've been dealing with a family member that I thought was just narcissistic. But as I listen to you and think about that person's reactions towards me... I'm starting to understand what's going on with him. And I realize it's not about what I'm doing or not doing. I realize there is nothing that I can do. The hurt I feel is less and less the more I understand what's going on. I just feel bad for what that person is going through. And there's nothing I can do about it.
That is one of life's hardest experiences. It breaks your heart but you are doing right. Best wishes and goodwill to you!
This is one of your best seminars. Glad to see it back!
Oh my gosh, "click- click-click.." the four of them! That's how it was! I know I was a codependent enabler who'd had one of those vampiric personality transfusions. It got dangerous when I found myself again and became happy.
"She's what!!! I can't control a happy wife!!!" I knew I'd become a bitter, complaining silent, weird old biddy if I stayed. And oh, the horror of leaving. Trauma of leaving my only home, the deep heartbreak and grief of loss of family, house, pet, community, life.
5 years out soon. Flash backs continue but not as debilitating. Healing slowly. But I've come to understand this. We live with the loss. We have learned about ourselves. I certainly have. Vacouos room for growth! 🌸🕊
@Trudi You are strong and brave. My most sincere respect n reverence to you for what you went through leaving everything behind. I know it couldn’t have been easy.
You’re here n your improving every day. Kudos to you.👍🏽💯✨🤗
Really interesting discussion, and I like your approach. Sometimes you say something and I feel anger, and then you explain where it's coming from, and I see the issue with my response. Equally I get really excited about other points. I actually think that helps me to keep healing my ptsd. You challenge thinking and that's what people need to move through a disorder. Thank you
Thankyou !
@@RICHARDGRANNON
Thank YOU mate.
You're genuinely appreciated.
By the time you realise that, you are on the road home. Bless you. You will bring goodness along with you too, I am certain.
Thank you for this. I've had the hardest time identifying what my ex was. Narcissistic didn't quite cover it. And OMG drowning is exactly the image I had of that relationship, grieved having to "abandon" him and let him drown. This is so healing.
These videos have been extremely helpful for understanding a lot of the dysfunction that I was entertaining in my life revisiting relationships time and time again trying to fix situations that were ultimately doomed to fail from the start. Thank you so much Richard for what you do. That being said, I'm extremely excited to hear that you're branching out into more general topics in self-improvement. I keep watching you because I feel like I learn something every time I listen to one of your talks. Like you're constantly giving me new tools and mindsets to use when dealing with life and other people. I've been tempted to ask for more general advice and reference material to study to become a better version of myself because I have no idea where you begin to start looking for all of this information but didn't want to be rude. Anyway, thanks a lot man. I'm looking forward to learning more from you in the future.
You’ve honestly helped me so much.
Thank you.
Holy shit at the 30 min mark , reminded me of what my BPD ex said “since my father died I have to get back at the world “ exploitation/entitlement , spot on with that one.
This was a lovely conversation. Illuminating and entertaining ... my perfect combo! Thanks Richard!
Thank you for this. Your Physic Self Defense series changed my life. Appreciating all your content.
I appreciate these videos. I used to feel a sort of hysterical desperation on a regular basis. Crying uncontrollably. While there were other factors, a major turning point for me was imagining that my parents had loved me the way I wanted and needed them to. Even just imagining that I could be worthy of that kind of love helped change my way of thinking and feeling. I still know the truth (about my parents) but in my case, this delusion has been life changing. Primarily because I was looking for the love I never got from the same kind of people my parents were. An endless cycle. I'd get re-traumatized, negative beliefs reinforced, etc. However, I was driven by my need and desperation. I no longer am.
Hi Richard, your information and advice combined with being able to actually see and hear the people who are in the same boat, is absolutely golden! Thank you for sharing this with your followers. ❣
When they split and that psychopath steps in because it’s protecting that inner child that’s afraid of being abandoned, as the partner, you have to speak only to that inner child in order to heal it so the “psychopath can heal and leave. It’s childhood trauma.
Everyone of these behaviors is identifiable based on specific childhood experiences based on our parent style we were raised in.
This. you made me tear up with this comment 😢 thank you
Please get cancelled...because what you speak about, it's the reality that needs to be discussed. No fear, there are enough people who resonate with what you teach to reinstate you. 🤟 By the way, the fact that "cancel culture" even exists, is well... fucked. "We just cannot live like this." Agreed. "Start fight clubs." I concur. Thank you Mr. Durden. Seriously though, thank you for your transparency. Thank you for what you do because it is absolutely invaluable.
The lady who shared at minute 30, thank you! I'm going through what you went through right now, and it's so nice to know I'm not alone!!
I am glad for what you are saying. I have arrived at pretty much the same conclusions as you I have started speaking up. I cannot say for certainty that I would have done so on my own. Its so refreshing to see someone advocating for authenticity in ourselves and busting egoic illusions at the same time. I appreciate you.
Almost skipped this based on title. Glad I didn't. Well worth the time. Always valuable insights, regardless of topic. Many thanks, Richard.
I am definitely borderline (although after some thought I would take Vulnerable Narcissist even though it makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little) and watching this has been a real eye-opener for me with the entitlement and believing I am the worlds most victimized victim ....I can 100% relate. I have subconsciously gone through my whole life dismissing or demolishing people because they would never know or feel pain like I do and even when I give them shovels full of abuse they still would be incapable of comprehending the pain and suffering I have endured....I even kind of turn that in to me being the victim....thanks for the freebie Richard...👈
Great info as always Richard! Much appreciated. Thank you.
THIS BLOKE SPEAKS IN A LANGUAGE I UNDERSTAND BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHERS!!! Thank you
So many brilliant point! 😃 Thank you!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I got chills down my spine and hairs raised all over at several points. I believe the theory about the Energy Crisis has some real merit. Authentic unconditional love is indeed a scarce resource and we seem to go into a feeding frenzy when the rare fruit is located, employing toxic games to squeeze out just a little more juice from the fruit before discarding the skins and moving on to look for the next meal. It’s a bleak picture indeed.
I find your work exceptional. I was in group for many years and we had PDST, border line...and all kinds of issues. Initially, I spent time with an individual therapist and then they saw that I had great attention and I feel could help others. What I gleaned from this therapy was called ancient wisdom rather than western psychology. No wonder we are in the mess we are in because of education training, education psychology... It has decades to innerstand the web we are in. Dont give up. It is the most important work you can do. You must start on yourself and the first step is the hardest. One one door closes another opens up if you have eyes to see and ears to listen. I really enjoy your approach Richard. You model great common sense, a great deal of reality, compassion, caring.... all right brain stuff. Love and Blessings, Helen.
The so-called "education" is all BS!!! The "labels" placed upon us are nothing more than words.
We are more powerful than we are told. BE IT!!! 💃💞
Richard: U r telling my story….completely. Many yrs of Narc abuse sent me to the hospital 3 times. Had & still have health issues from it. U r healing us heal. Keep up the GREAT work of the brutal honesty we need to hear. I 💜U!
Love this study setting!!!!!🙌🏽
Thank you for your great info, I have been listening to you for years.
OMG! Thank you, Richard!
I just had so many insights and healing from this video!
I feel so much lighter, like I have been set free! I appreciate this and your work very much.
💚🌿🌟
What a stimulating video, I agree with everything said. All my relationships have been toxic, I’ve spent years reading, understanding why, learning how to heal & take responsibility for what happens going forward. We have the power to choose how we want to live now. I’m grateful for the craziness I’ve experienced, it’s what makes life beautiful, the diversity of euphoric highs and extreme lows. I don’t feel victim, I feel lucky as this has made me who I am today, strong. My last relationship was most difficult to recognise BPD man, he was covert. He cheated many times to test my love and forgiveness, the cycle 🔁 never changed. I did feel like mother & I could never be a good enough mother just like his mother, no matter how much I tried, I nearly drowned/died. Why do our hearts feel like we’ve met our twin flame when we meet these people, even just a glance of eye contact, you know, you feel it in your stomach, It’s a magnetic force that pulls us together. For me it happens rarely and when it does it’s very hard to resist, with torture comes ecstasy. Dark & light energy coexist. ☯️
What an AMAZING!! video. Richard you are so good laying this out here. My former love, when I met his daughter, immediately I knew something was wrong with her. I felt BPD because of her "entitlement" and everything she said I encouraged him to take her to the doctor and he wouldn't. Finally he did and they said she was BiPolar. I never believed that and put up with it for 16 months before I had to leave. Thank you for this. I loved him so much but he use to do drugs/alcohol and was really progressing with our relationship, but SHE did not want that. I have audio tapes for you to listen to if you ever wish to have them. You have this laid out so well.
I watched the entire video! I needed this. BPD undiagnosed ex. Been out of the relationship for about 8 months. I’m a lot better. But still need a daily reminder I’m healing.
Guys getting big..
Keep it going , Thanks for all your work. Brilliant. Learnt so much even about just being a better person.
This is a great perspective. Bullying is toxic no matter diagnosis or justification. Narcissistic people CAN change. But society keeps telling them they can't and everyone else needs to CHANGE. Zero tolerance is key. It's not about WHY they do it,
It's about HOW.
HOW come they do toxic things to people. Because they CAN.
It's the enablers that allowed to function like this.
You described my Entire Marriage and I'm eternally grateful for the epitome ❤
One of your best yet Richard...thanks for distinguishing between Ptsd, BPD and Narcissim. Lots of ah ha's here, thanks xx
You are a blessing as always, Richard
Extremely well put together discussion aside, that Jordan Peterson impression was on point! And for the rest, thank you for your perspective. You must understand how much you are helping people.
Nicely done! Excellent way to create boundaries with the audience to get you point across! Excellent!
Best general explanation of some interpersonal dynamics regarding these two things (and a bit more) that I have witnessed. Between 30-40 minutes I realized that the years of looking into what could possibly be going on in my life, I may have been only very slightly wrong in the way I was looking at and understanding the circumstances. Thank you so much, good sir!
I just finished watching to the end .. and i reallg enjoyed it. You are a wonderful teacher. I feel i have learned a lot. ( although if i truly know any ONE thing it is that the learning of mental illness weather it be narssisistic , or ptsd, the learning can never really end, and there is allways something more to be learned)
Thank you very much
Im BPD n PTSD.. raped from age 2 to 16 until I ran away, raped by every male in my family plus strangers. When I was 7 would wait by my window for a knight to save me because thats what the fairy tales told me. No one came. I prayed to God every night to save me he didn't.. yes I keep waiting to be saved and that also brings me shame .. that was a very powerful video thank you.. one thing with BPD is you never feel understood and this video made me feel very understood and I think the suicidal feelings is exactly like you described as far as not being whole and it would have been better to be annihilated then partially destroyed
ongosh ... I'm sorry you experienced such a harsh reality 😔 💙
So sorry for all your inner pain. MY daughter was raped while in a mental ward.She was also molested by her dad. I failed my children, etc, no excuses only TRUTH I grew up with a severe dysfunctional large family, I was blacksheep, i was grew up to trauma bondage and that cause me to enabled almost anyone. I was naive, gullible, I was very messed up emotional 😢
This was so well explained , great class and as someone else mentioned in the comments, I cant believe this was free, thank-you for the enlightenment on such a complex and confusing topic(s)...Also.. best voice impression of JP, like exact, freaked me out a bit but definitely made me laugh out loud...good to start my day
This makes more sense and information than anything else has. Thank you
I am a survivor of Domestic Abuse and my ex is to appear at crown court, this month to plead to a charge of stalking causing serious alarm and distress. He has been on remand for three weeks, I want to say a BIG THANK YOU. You make so much sense and you have enabled me to become a stronger person and see this through. I am now been asked to talk to other survivors in my local area. Thank you again. 💜
Hi Mr Hennigan. Welcome to the dojo. That's beautiful and his ability to use Buddhism only enhances my already stated compliments.
I'm very grateful for all the information you share freely. It has been very helpful to me in very profound ways.
In my experience, borderlines do guilt without shame because they’re obsessed with you, but narcs do shame without guilt because the only relationship they’re capable of is the one with themselves.
I’m 20 minutes in and this is brilliant. Thank you for making this video
Absolutely brilliant workshop, got so much out of it, thank you 🙏🏼 Richard. “Humans are meaning-making machines”… this should be taught to pre-teens! Much love and gratitude from 🇨🇦
I'm so glad I came across this yt page. I just got out of a relationship with a man that I loved very much but he had a torturous childhood by the hands of his father and a mother who never protected. He went thru a lot. But me and every woman he meet should not have to be victims of his past!
Love the humor peppered in at just the right moment.
You look and feel great. Thank you for your wisdom and energy. You have helped me so much at the most perfect time. Spartan life
Richard you’re a lark 😂 I love your presentations. Your sense of humour keeps it fresh.
Richard, your courage to speak your truth is awe-inspiring. I appreciated the nuance of your talk - how to better understand the subtle and real differences in personality disorders. Also your responses on the binary culture we are in -- allowing others the freedom to do what they want, rather than authoritarian rule and mandates is key to an open society. I am on the radical left as well, but its clear to me that freedom is paramount to our survival. The mandates, whether on gender or drugs are terrifying to me. I love the idea of empowering people over their challenges and focusing on solutions rather than just living in complaint. I am in some groups where people just complain about the people they are with rather than leaving the toxic relationship. It feels like addiction and a tragic way to live your life. We must empower people to be independent and to move toward the positive in their life.
Very informative. Delivery was excellent, knowledge with humor and personal experience. Thank you
I so appreciate this! Thank you so much for sharing this knowledge. 💜
Victim, villain, and the hero.. that’s the human psychological experience on planet earth as we know it. Probably put there by psychopaths.
All’s we need know , is that we think, no detail.
Notice that we think from a place of awareness. Now that’s a different human experience.🙏🏼 namaste.
Good luck Richard, loved your program about the r -complex .. fantastic work.
Really enjoyed your knowledge, perspective & honesty. Ty
This is brill Richard. I'm enjoying and it's ringing true ......
Thank you for this Richard! Had to let go of someone I love dearly (a relationship breakup) and it is heartbreaking. I am not certain anymore who is the one with the mental issues. Should I be it you help my loads with your lectures to fix myself. Should she be it, you help me loads to clear it out, understand and heal. Thanks!
I wish I had been aware of all this 20 years ago. Would have saved me much pain and confusion indeed! Thanks Richard, you're doing great work for us lost sheep and tender souls.
Thanks Richard you explain everything so accurately .
My second time listening to this because it was in the line up. Picked up something new. Thank you!
I haven't gone to therapy to be diagnosed. I have wondered c-ptsd or bpd myself. What you said about not being helpful to tell ppl who are traumatized they have bpd just because they are emotionally disregulated, I've been replaying that part, I am in tears. I know I should go but don't have a lot of faith finding a counselor that doesn't just repeat what you say back to you a different way and is of no real help. 2.5 yra after a 14 yr relationship with someone who very much had traits of if not truly having npd has messed me up so much. It feels like I can relate a lot to what I see written about both c-ptsd and bpd. After what you said, unless I'm being delusional here, I think I lean toward possibly having c-ptsd rather than bpd. Thank you!
Thank you Richard, as always most appreciated.
There is so much more here than discussion of BPD. So good.
Richard is incredible at facilitating and navigating a crowd.
AWESOME SHOW BROTHER!.. man these NARCS ruin u for LIFE!... u never really heal u just find a way to deal with it by people like u HELPING ALL US NARC SURVIVERS!.. im 61 now n still deal with the AFTER MATH!.. but now I know how this all started with my syco narc father ,which I ended up with BPD!... thank u to my BEAUTIFUL WIFE OF 10yrs has brought all my demons out of my closet, N HELPED ME CONQURE MY NIGHTMARES!..
THANKS U FOR A VALUABLE THERAPY LESSON TODAY!.. CHEERS🇨🇦
Gosh. So much in here. I really resonated with the part about 1:21 where he talked about how narcissism is kind of contagious and then again when he talked about the definitions of abuse and how one woman described how her wife would set her up to have a bad reaction to something and then make her look like the baddie whilst her wife remained calm. I experienced that all the time in my past relationship. It took me a while to realize the setup because I had bought into the image of me being the bad one because I would react so strongly and he was always so calm and never spoke badly to me but would do things I had asked him not to do.
Isn’t that narcissism? Im experiencing the same thing, getting lured into a argument, fight and afterwards im the one who always got angry without any reason to it and she remains just calm telling me to calm down. You feel like losing your mind in those moments
Thank you for the work you do! Most informative work!!!!🙏🙏
Thank you for sharing this extremely informative and helpful video Richard .
The enormous amount of content in your presentation to the attendees and all of us watching the video is so eye opening and helping us to fill in a multitude of " blank spaces and voids" is truly priceless !!
Keep doing what you do to help so many !!
You truly are a " Warrior Angel"
God bless you !!
Validation of the "mommy/daddy ISSUES".. Absolutely 🐬🕯️💕
This IS WHY, I believe it's so important 2 KNOW yourself
& Understanding of"Your Own Mirror"🗝️🌷💛
Richard, you are true gold. 👍 🙏 THANK YOU. I am on my 3rd listen.
Thank you Richard i realised a few weeks ago i have bpd after self sabotaging then feeling extreme guilt/fear of abandonment and remorse after. I had a think about what i did and why i felt that way. I started looking for answers. Speaking to family and friends. Turns out i had friends, coworkers and family who have bpd and just didn’t know. I didn’t have a name for my experience. I didn’t know up until weeks ago what was really going on with me. Everything hit me like a tone of bricks. Thank you beyond words.
I’m glad i listened bc something clicked in this discussion./:
I heard something very new this time -
Something about absorbing their toxic feelings ???
Yikes !
I’m better off by myself !!!
What an amazing lecture. Right on spot. I have been able to largely overcome my BPD. He is spot on. The fundamental belief, as an infant, that one is unloveable. I have spent years in deep feeling psychotherapy, crying in deeply regressed states, feeling the emptiness, with a compassionate therapist. I honestly believe I finally feel loveable...or at least not UNloveable. From within. It has to come from a deep place inside, the infant self. But you can be cured. Its taken years of going through the fragmented, dissociative states and working way back to the deeply wounded, deeply hidden child inside. I still have work to do. But the change is real. And seems permanent. I no longer feel like I"m fragmented. And I no longer feel self-hatred.
Good for you, who was your therapist, if you will? Thanks💕
@@catherinearrington6167 Oh , you can't reach her anyway because she is in Asia. But I know I couldn't have done it without her compassion, patience, understanding, and non-judgemental attitude.
Just a moment of freely given supply for you Richard. Your blunt information is given with such love for subject and in an entertaining way to keep our attention. I have adhd and you sir are very good indeed. I am very unstable right now. And today was a write off. But I managed , after listening to this seminar, raised my hope enough that I managed to do a couple of ery easy things but terrifying for me. And if you do make a cult, I'll handle your PR!
Know this video is a year old,it helped me to recognize what I was doing.
I was diagnosed BPD many years ago,I feel I'm not worthy of being loved,Emotionally unstable,and took on acceptance of anything wrong that had happened in relationships and flew into blind rages at bizarre triggers such a washing dishes.
I don't feel I deserve anything good.
I also fought suicidal ideation with 6 attempts,not to die,but to escape emotional pain.
I also in an 18 year relationship with someone diagnosed NPD.
From everything you have said here,I have been misdiagnosed,and will be seeking a rediagnosis,thank you.
Kia Ora from New Zealand 🙂 thank you for the insights appreciate you Richard and all your work bro.
This spreads wide, even gender discussion took place :-). It is impressive how the difference between BPD and PTSB is explained first in words (missing exploitation and entitlement in the PTSB), and then in the demonstrated behaviour. Also the NPD is quickly refreshed. Very interesting, very helpful. Thanks, Mr. Grannon.
Especially the physical (andneurobiochemical) processes fascinates me at the moment. It's more validation for me that things work (or not work) as they do if there is physical explanation in terms of saturation or enrichment of proteins, hormons, molecules - not only psychic 'ghosts' as an abstract description.
I’m gonna be honest I was very entitled when I grew but as I went threw therapy I realized I wasn’t the only one going through the pain & been abused and had a bad childhood, there’s actually individuals who been through worse, so I have worked very much on that, I do still struggle a lot with blaming myself & DBT has helped a lot with my BPD & PTSD some days can be very hard still, I have paranoia bad, when I’m alone… That’s something I am working on ❤️ I love your videos so much
I watched you lie
I helped you lie
I watched you steal
I helped you steal
I watched you cheat
I helped you cheat
I watched you play the ignorant
I watched you play me the scapegoat
I watched you denigrate
I watched you manipulate
I watched you humiliate
I watched you switch the bate
I watched you control through confusion
I watched your path and saw its wake of destruction
I heard you pray like a saint
I heard godly wisdom pour from your lips
I experienced the tender compassion of your voice
I benefited from your overwhelming generosity
Undoubtedly a woman of fortitude, a force to be reckoned with, a wordsmith, a teacher and a healer
Gifted beyond what others would experience in two lifetimes
I put you on a pedestal
I handed my power over to you
I let you possess me
You demanded I become like you
I defended you when you were wrong
I let you mistreat me
I played the fool
I suffered the fools plight
I own the pain caused by my dysfunction
I can’t make sense of it
And, in the end
You were the victim
You were the one wronged
You were the one in pain by my mistreatment
Yet, all I can say is that I’m out
I’m not there anymore
I cannot make heads or tails of what happened
I don’t pretend I was blameless
But I know it was torture
I know I am in pain
I know I am confused and the confusion is worse than the pain
But at least I am out now
This is so true! My first sp was a borderline I had children to which spiralled for 15 years I thought I was drowning I coukdnt get out, i then clung onto a very abusive love with NPD to get me out of the first! I The abuse from the second was nothing compared to the nightmare of living with a borderline male. Both very different disorders! Narcissists are easier to manipulate more fun feed my ego, but alas their sting is too hard too bare. Free of both now except needing to kill the shared fantasy that I muse over regularly. Thanks Richard, your wisdom is refreshing.
Thank you sharing Adrienne sending you ML 💚 we have so much in common 💚 love always wins💚
Thank you for being so helpful and honest
Richard described me perfectly when he mentioned the marines that did not recover from PTSD.
I recently escaped a short lived covert narc relationship (my sigma personality traits broke her program) but still ended up absolutely incapable of moving forward due to still buying into her love bombing... ended up drinking, brain fog, no motivation, depression...
Having done some work, I see now that I have CPSTD from early childhood trauma due to an alcoholic mother and abusive step father.
Richard's "Fortress" training has worked absolute wonders for me. I'm not just saying it. You do not need to continue to suffer.. just DO the work and get on the healing path. ❤
Excellent. One of your best. Thank you.
Only 15 minutes in but this is one of the best accounts of BPD, esp in contrast to grandiose NPD, that I've heard in a while. That said, BPD is very similar to covert BPD. JMO although people with a cluster b personality disorder tend to have a primary, default disorder, they tend to exhibit traits of all four cluster b personality disorders. Life is messy, and people are the greatest example.
Feel like the epitome of dichotomy and I was born this way of a devine discontent so anyone is offended by my pitiful incomprehensible demoralization it's on them. I know my higher power will always be there when I'm ready. Still blessed to be here and ready to learn and grow everyday.