www.strongwithstella.com/strongwithstella-course if you want to join me for 60 days as I sort my health out: sleep, stress management, organisation, gym and nutrition! Conquering Sleep Apnea and Metabolic Syndrome! for the guided 30 day "Break Narcissistic Possession Course" www.richardgrannon.com/break-narcissistic-possession go here :)
I got shingles from toxic people recently, speaking up to them, they shamed me. I may be insulting a little, but I am learn😮NG to speak up, notley people bamboozle me
I explain to mY niece, • your Uncle is like spray~ foam EXPANDING INSULATION; it fills every cubic centimeter of attic [ my mind]! So, its hard to GET OVER!
I pretty much went no contact with varying level of success with my family and other abusers about 10 years ago. I woke up this morning, crying because I realised (dimly) that since then, I have been my own narcissistic abuser. I don't need other people to abuse me or to tear down my confidence. My inner landscape sometimes turns into a war zone, yet I am the only one in the room.
I definitely know that feeling. It ruined me In stressful situations .I have war inside all my life when I want to do something good for myself from buying something without quilt or just have any positive emotion.
What every your running thru your head write it down and turn it into something positive so you can catch yourself and repeat the good thing 20 to 45 times to counter and get rid of the bad stuff.
As a codependent it's also really important to adress your shadow side to move on from narc. You must admit to yourself that you are not an all saving angel that can heal anybody with your magical love 💕 You are just a regular human being:) I've noticed that this grandiosety was holding me back from giving up because I was not willing to admit that I was not special 😂 so you must reduce your significance too😂😂
I simply adore you. 🥰 I always get so much from your videos. I love the balance between exploring the pain and trauma inherent in the relationships and acknowledging that the narcissist is also suffering in some form or fashion. It is about accepting personal responsibility. This video helped me understand the "internal parent (super ego)" and how she sabotages me in just the right moments. This will be so much easier to spot and call out now. I can also now understand why it took me 4 years after seeing that it wasn't working, to walk out of my marriage. THANK YOU! *NMRK*
Thank you so much Richard, I remember coming across your work almost a decade ago and I'm still working through the effects of a traumatic childhood. Can I share that I have been able to minimise their mind colonisation by acting like an adult, taking full responsibility for my own actions and failings and being accountable for what I do. Moving from the victim mentality to an adult one. Once you behave like an adult and speak like one they do fall away like dandruff. It's incredibly empowering. I often see it as my having 'arrived' finally and am now enjoying it. I am able to interact when absolutely necessary but the 'blocks' are still in place and I spend every spare minute building my physical and mental health. If I was able to survive that ordeal, I can survive anything. The best thing is having adult children who have superb boundaries, behave like adults and are fully accountable for their actions. They don't take 'shit' from anyone but have great capacity for compassion. So I guess that's a victory. The aging narcs now look quite sickly, desperate and embarrassing. Karma is a bitch.
When I was devalued and discarded . I was unable to reform and regroup. I was regressed to an infant. How weak I was. Although I'd deleted all messages and numbers. I HOOVERED him Quelle horreur ❤❤
Level achieved! Reduced his significance through going grey rock, no contact, quitting drugs AND moving out of state. Plus time. And top drawer therapy. Hooray for me. His map of "reality" is light years away now.
Wow you are speaking my language Richard. TA is the foundation of my work as a psychotherapist. I’ve ended with the Narc and feel my nervous system is damaged. I saw it and logically knew what was happening but emotionally so weak to my own shock as I’ve been helping others for over 20 years … to cut him dead. Ended it many times in 6 years but kept getting sucked back in. I’ve done it this time but he is still lives in my head rent free. Thank you for this video, it made it more clear. Ps: looks you have dropped weight. Good for you looking after your health. Stay gorgeous and continue the great work ❤
I'm oxymoronically happy for you publishing this discourse Richard! I am having an 'extremely' difficult time with the superimposed, egotistical introjections/injunctions induced by my ex-partner, over 6 years. During the relationship/post relationship I realise(d)/indentify(ied) the forementioned causalities are relational to my historical, unhealed wounds, centred around my developmental dynamic... Sincere thanks for offering your wisdom and guidance on an all consuming existential phenomena. I am now in therapy, under the premise of determining which appropriate therapeutic intervention (4th pathway) to take...
I believe Freud noted that PTSD’d soldiers who had physical evidence of trauma, like limbs blown off, ended up doing better in life after the war than soldiers who did not have physical signs of trauma. So if that’s true, your mom yelling at you can actually be worse than if she’d just blown your arm off with a mortar.
i have recently come to the conclusion i am dealing with an abusive narcissistic roommate i have reached a stat where i feel trapped i can't escape everyone keeps telling me i need to give him a chance to change
The rise of narcissistic abuse or or otherwise has been systematic, the fact that so many people are in this situation is very telling, the system we're in seeks to isolate people to make it easier to control and exploit, this is what I have learned. I have been at the receiving end of abuse in many forms and found it hard to say no in as many. But now that I am learning it will empower me (as it does for many others). I am very grateful that I now know more about abuse, that only makes a bit it easier if you have the clarity of mind to recognise that pattern and are willing to learn. Not everyone in abusive relationships have that ability to recognise that they are indeed in such relationships, or if they do know, don't have the knowledge to take steps to deal with it. I am currently in therapy now and am working on the road to recovery. I am taking responsibility for myself as I know no one else will do it for me.
28:40 this is the best conversation I’ve ever heard about trauma… There’s so much talk about big T versus little T trauma… Mine is bigger than yours, you didn’t get blown apart by an IED, etc. so it’s not “true trauma“. This metaphor of the engine is so perfect, and I think anyone should be able to understand this with just a tiny bit of effort! Or if not like that, think about the human body. Suppose there is an injury to the knee, some kind of puncture wound, so that it absolutely cannot work without healing first. You don’t say that that person is fine because they have two knees, or they should be able to walk anyways because “it’s not that big of a wound!“ or it’s just a flesh wound… Lol especially during childhood, it is absolutely critical to keep this in mind. It’s very delicate parts of our psyche, of our engine that are being formed. One seemingly small wound at that point can lead to scar tissue, damage or destruction that prevents proper functioning, later, on, or permanently! Thanks for all the gold, Richard.🎉🎉🎉
We have a growing populace of people in our modern society who's freedom which I fight for is not enough. They are self entitled people who feel they can do / be / live / act however they want to. Not because they need to do it. But because they have life easier than other people at other peoples expense and do it simply because they can. Easy times (afforded by me) create bad people.
My terror is the thought of losing my vision of a marriage, and possibly losing my ability to parent my 2 children. The relationship began 8 years ago. Nice, sweet and helpful. Married now 5 years. Childish decisions, anger, rage from her are now real fears where I feel I walk on egg shells. Too much for this venue, I don't know if I bail and take my chances, or try to get her to enter into adulthood in therapy. Fix (treat) or Flee!?
Ottoman’s took the chants from Ortodox Greeks and they had directly translated and used the Ortodox Melodies and Prays in their own Islamic tradition. That is why you think its kind of islamic. Also the mosque shapes had been copied from the Old Ortodox Churches..
Also a strategy for females wanting to appear innocent and the better half. Like I'm interested in marriage with the right person, and it's not easy. They can act offended even when you haven't been in a relationship, interrogating you about who You've dated, who are you talking to now, and trying to make you jealous. My business is mine and yours when we aren't in a relationship.
I did have more as certainty, it was a felt knowlege, that some new Narc (2 years ago) was a single, walking recorder and I thought, there was a person behind that, wanting to interact with the world, but for reasons couldn´t. Got away over a year ago. He used the absolut opposite language from my upbringing, but was exactly the same! Have seen him recently and there was NOTHING that can interact with others, it was a sound making machine, he could have talked to the laternpole...
Brill again! I top this understanding with quantum healing ( whatever that is), so fricking occupying this can be at some times… Aren’t the mind & body is just a miracle?? 🤪🙏🏻
What about those of us who had to create our own super egos from an abstract and what we could get from our own personal experiences relating to the outside world about how we felt? The reason why we don't hit anyone came from the thought of how would we like it if we were hit, if we got an inappropriate answer we then asked "how did that person you saw get hit frep about getting hit?" then we would say "they felt bad about it" then we have the parent that contradicts the real father or mother who says we should hit people who harm us by saying "why would you want to just make things worse we've already used our brain and are now giving you the vision through your imagination of what could happen if you do what they tell you" *vision ends* "I won't do it" to which the response comes "that is rational and good". How do you explain to people about the gaps you have despite keeping an open mind as a child after being emotionally abused by a parent and learning from others because some things are supposed to be taught by them rather than having to teach yourself by exposing yourself to things like what happened to people who did something and determining to avoid or adopt their behavior or parts of the behavior you like or agree with? Obviously yes this comes from seeing how people lashing out just destroys friendships or makes your own mother cry so you internalized not lashing out until middle school comes where people beat you up for no reason. What advice do you have for those who had to fight their parents to become their own people and yet to survive had to play along with pretending to believe what they believe when you really didn't but knew better than to open your mouth after seeing your father screaming at your siblings red in the face with insane anger? The reason I ask is because I struggle with things that are supposed to not be triggering like shame having a proper effect on me because I know what it's used for and have had that abused in bad faith to control me, which unfortunately here in America people don't like to explain anything or communicate on why so you struggle to come up with your own reasons that stick.
Or if he is your damaged father, he breaks your boundaries by failing to knock on your bedroom door. I was a budding teenager, just starting to wear a bra. I had to hustle to get dressed because at any time he was going to come busting through that door. I had no privacy. My mother taught me I was weak and sickly. She always pitied me and only took off work if I was sick. 🙄What a marter. I was marinated in narcissism from birth until 72 years old. That's when I finally found out what happened to my non-existent love of me.
Funny how my final discard was by someone who said he is studying the laws of the bible with jehovah witnesses now "to become a better man". I said by all means if it makes him a more loving man. But my opinion is he is a Pharisee. I saw under his mask at the end and no disrespect but that seems to be a narcissistic cult. His treatment towards me was awful and I had to check him and his behavior. I said you want to look like your a man if god but yet he fails to pay attention to matters close to the heart. It was a blessing he discarded me cause the bread crumbs were keeping me from being able to leave because it gave me a short reprieve from the intense emotions, but was not worth staying in the relationship.
Could you look at doing an anonymous place (on here or pre recorded) for people to share their story’s-from the hell of living in narc abuse-from their awareness o recovery and how they did it?!! And continue to use tools,support
I'm a native German speaker you explained the Sigmund Freud's Ich und Über-Ich outstanding well. You know what? Me I have a very silly ego, it's made out of humor. We will stay save with stupid if we do not take me that serious. My primitive Über-Ich is programmed to love huge boobs if the girl is pretty and slim it has to be love. And where is the problem if she is even intelligent and funny and stays after the first night for 1 1/2 year? Isn't it cute if she follows even to the bath room? 5 minutes to be by myself, just a few knife cut's, she isn't that hard to disarm. But I had to have some bullet holes to understand... I matter! The justice system had a forensis psychologist. She told me I'm traumatized. She was hot so let's do some therapie. Of course we slept together. I won't say she didn't help me, but therapy is not to get in South América. What helped me was I loud screaming Über-Ich. It was louder than introjections or a therapist. It was the voice of God. I need to survive and I love the gift of feedom. I isolated one year. Than an adult man went out in a completely different world. You know I'm the man who gave his life for a pregnant woman. That's who I am. I want a friend like that. I'm not friendly, I never was. I'm a protector I do my job as a body guard now far better. And I charge more for everything in life. I kept a few friends. They are gold. I had far too many relationships. Now I spend more time with the girl that make me feel happy the most. Respect makes me happy. What to me is far more important so is, that I can make her happy and feel save and understood. It feels like love, an energy that flows from me to her. A healthy woman sucks that up like a sponge. I have more than enough. It's up to each girl by their behaviour who will see me when and how often. I can't controle others. And there's not enough money to pay me for that. ¡Have fun! From South América
Taking communion with Jesus blood and body is the cure for the empath, every time. Taking it regularly and counting Jesus’sbody as your healing. Counting Jesus Righteousness as your own with his blood. This is our life.
I’ve learned I’m HIGHLY co dependent. My dad is amazing but also always fixed my problems and got me out of financial trouble and when I married my narc he beat me down emotionally saying I could never take care of myself or do it on my own. 8 years later, I now make more money than him, and have a lot more success. He tells me my position “fell into my lap”. I worked my butt off. Knowing I need to leave and hold my own. I honestly don’t care what he thinks of me anymore. I love me finally, and he can kick rocks. Attorney is writing up papers now and I won’t miss the chaos. I now see him as weak, instead of me being the weak one. I pray I’m finally strong enough. I feel like it , but time will tell. God has a plan
💯 agree. The moment I evolved enough to be able to talk at adult-to-adult level, my toxic 15 yrs relationship was over. He wasn't interested in mutual interaction. 😂
Holy crap, Richard. Over the past year since going seriously no contact I have obsessively listened to nearly all of your pod casts. It's working. People, listen to Richard. Your abuser implanted you with a slew of internal viruses. BUT you CAN purge them one at a time. It IS possible. It'll take about 8 months for the hardest phase, then it gets easier. After 50 year of this, starting in childhood, I am coming out on the other side! Oh my GOSH how I love and cherish every moment now. Keep at this. Now YOU are implanting your OWN mind with a new program, new ideology, NEW HOPE. One day, one podcast, even one screaming minute to the next. Don't look back because you're not going that way anymore.
this may not be for everyone but i just wanted to suggest following the teachings of marcus aurelius and jesus👑. for me personally he upgraded the purge to a fkn vampire super holocaust🔥
My sister asked to repair our relationship and when I told her only if we had an open & honest relationship, she said no. We never spoke again. That was 8 years ago, I was shocked, sad and distraught until now. I thank my resistance.
Richard, you just made sense in why I feel so happy recently.. realised my own 'mind' is coming back.. the one with healthy introjects, feel witty, loving people, enjoying details.. it was nothing new 5 years ago, this is how I am by default but I completely lost it being with my ex. He was diagnosed with BPD but was an absolutely massively aggressive narcissist.
I refused to submit and I only engage in equal relationships. I’m used to the constant conflict with people who want to be Oppressors. They try and force themselves onto me and I refuse to “Obey”. And I refuse to parent anyone who is not my child, this is madness of the highest order!!!!
I recently got rid of a male friend like this of 16 years as a guy. One too many times they tried to sneak a bossy stance on me. They took a cheap shot at me the last time I was walking out the door of their apartment. I had politely announced that I was not putting up with that. Their violence reaffirmed my decision
Brilliant. Yep I did gestalt chair therapy between early 2017 to early 2018 for hardcore physical and mental child abuse. Best thing I ever did, it set me free and I've had a relationship with my inner child for six year's parenting him, disciplining him gently as a good parent would etc. I would suggest therapy for survivers of NPD abuse, gestalt chair therapy is for hardcore child abuse mind you. Thanks Richard dude.
@@katydid594 Dear Katy. My apologies for the late reply. I trust you are well. In response to your question, it helped me because once I got in touch with my inner child, I started having these "awakenings" for want of a better word. The awakenings manifested themselves in spotting and seeing NPD's around me in my personal life, work, friends, then finally my family. All of which I went "no contact" with and put them out of my life forever. My family were the last to go back on march this year. Moreover, I was studying heavily NPD also. I hope that helps you. God bless.
Sorry for my English, I’m a German. After 14 years with my abuser I started drinking again. ( I have been a sober alcoholic for 23 years ! ) Now I can’t manage to get proper sober again, I’m filled up with heavy depression, anxiety, isolation and suicidal. Coming from a malignant Mother, just collected toxic people in my life. Struggling for years already and nearly giving up. I’m glade for those channels, cause at least I know, I am not all alone.
Love your seminars. Find them insightful and help me understand how the mind of a covert narcissist and how the abused reacts to narcissist abuse. I’m slowly going limited contact. Before I couldn’t even string two sentences together but I’m very slowly learning to talk in a “normal” way after almost 30 years of abuse. Keep doing your wonderful seminars. 😊
"The super ego is not a quality control device, it's a recorder"...I'm shook. Yes, this is what is happening to me. I'm hearing my "inner critic" and allowing it to give me orders in stressful situations. It's not helping. It's not saving me. It's a broken clock that happens to be right twice a day and I've been cling to those twice a day examples for this entire relationship...
Co parenting with a vulnerable narcissist, going through court, 4 year old daughter parroting the awful things the mom is telling her. Mom tried to say I SAd her in an attempt to get a non molestation order order. She can't even help the passive aggressive messages even though we're using a co parenting app to communicate. The woman is super dangerous.
She wants your daughter to blame you for not being present in her life. Don't say this to the kid, ever. Just keep being there for her, and when she's of age, she WILL make her own conclusions about you. At one point, the mother starts to act with her like she did with you, seen it happen a dozen times. Just keep being a loving father, show her what real love is, you've got this.
Brother ❤❤ I feel you, very similar situation. I have a 7 1/2 year old with a borderline/covert, narco path, who destroyed a business I started couple years later, with the help of a covert/probably BPD, but not diagnosed. They will do their absolute best to put you through hell. For months or years, or the rest of your life, in any way that they can!
Do you ever feel like you became the Narcissist yourself? when you are the Golden Child and the Scapegoat... I fear I have become the Narcissist myself. "You're making a horrible noise with your face holes!" ROFL I love how you Spoke at the end about why we focus on Narcissism and not self-healing. I am trying to use more pleasure in my life in order to focus on the progress I am making, despite how much of a horrible place I am in the world... I recently had a flip switch inside where I no longer felt hurt anymore, but I felt loved. and I'm trying to embrace the positive form of this hurt that has been dumped on me through out my life. Hurt can pretend to be love... and I was reminded of what Self-Love felt like. Hurt and Love felt so close to each other and I was confusing one with the other... So trying to keep that positive feeling propelling into reshaping my understanding of what it means to have peace and joy in my life once again. What you said really confirmed that I am on the right path to self-healing.
After a lifetime of narc exposure the memories take on a persona of their own and become a separate entity... I think the term is "intrusive thoughts", I get those often especially as my awareness has grown. That is a sign that I have separated myself from the narc's projections imo.
You’re right on target, Richard! As usual. After 47 years I finally “came to”..out of the spell. After a year of ongoing therapy I’m finally standing up for myself like never before. She not allowed to affect me any longer. She’s been making a fool out of herself in front of others while attempting to public shame me. For all the wrong reasons. As she’s aging.. she’s loosing her “talent” and power she’s had all these years with manipulation and abuse. All of her 6 kids are finally seeing her clearly and turning away. And she is absolutely acting like a child. And yes, she does want me to speak to her like she’s the child 🥴🤯 Craziest shit I’ve been through in all of my life. She has taken sooo much time and energy of others. I was always her “little helper”/“right hand man”growing up. Now days she’s such a blatant bully 😂🙃😢 🤷🏻♀️ I can finally laugh about it. I understand she is literally not in her right mind. So she doesn’t even register fully how annoyed and fed up everyone around her has become. She will die miserable. Her doing. No one else’s.
This is so spot on. Once I looked into transactional analysis recommended by a therapist... everything made sense and relationships in general were easier to navigate and boundaries easier to set. It also helped me really acknowledge my own behaviour and adjust accordingly . I love all your content, Richard. Has helped me so much over the years and still does ❤ thank you
This makes sense. I'm white knuckling it right now to stay away from my narcissist. He has become rude and demanding and sees nothing wrong with his behavior. We've broken up and now he is messaging like nothing happened . No recognition of the lines he crossed. He asked what I meant when I told him that. I'm so addicted to his attention but the verbal abuse is so bad. Really struggling.
I feel for you. As Richard says, do not attempt sincere communication with the terminally insincere. Like talking to a wall! It may help you to read about trauma bonding. It is possible to break the addiction. No contact is best way. It is amazing to get your power back and live drama free! Wishing you the best.
One Hour At A Time SomeTimes Dont Stop Trying You Will Get Free And you Will Truly Be Happy Again When you Are Totally Separated It Helped me To Realize What we Are Dealing With Is Not A Human who Is Normal When A PerSon Has NPD, There Is A Nesting Of Demons When we Realize we Are Dealing With Spiritual Beings, It BeComes Easier To Separate Their Behavior ToWard us From who we Really Are And we Are DeServing Of Real Love And Kind Treatment You Will Get Thru The Hard Part Then you Will Breath Shalom 😊
They dont recognise boundaries do they, and the entitlement, omg. Just remember youre worth more than that, keep your self respect and sanity at all costs. Theres someone out there who will treat you better, you deserve it, but you wont find them wasting time with this one. Have to value yourself to find that strength.
Thank you.. for explaining this. my mind is not good at the moment, it's clogged up with his past . His abuse . His cruel actions. everything that I have gone through many years in life with him. Its no wonder it is difficult to free those awful memories what they have put there. I don't think you are ever the same again as you once was before.
1:11:41 Thank you for sharing your journey. The more I listen….the more I’ve come to understand that the answers I seek, are already embedded within me. I see the growth in you. It has motivated me to understand and accept myself in ways that was blocking me from moving forward. Yes I’m a little sad about how long I have felt left out. Because of your candid honesty I am encouraged to be the courageous person that I am. This feels cereal. I am grateful for your service.🙏🏼🤍🕊️
Richard... so happy that you are in therapy... it shows! We all need it... And especially those of us who are compassionate and have the desire to help others along this recovery path so they & we can live our best lives. I remember someone telling me to get involved in something that is helping others, which takes that intense focus off of ourselves... and while investing time in others lives, we will get the help that we have needed. We learn through helping others. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, explaning an option as how to cope with a certain issue and you hear..... "This is for Me!" I need to do this! I believe that this is how God works. I'm really good at discerning & evaluating others situations & suggesting a path that I believe would benefit them, always having their best interest in mind... but as for discerning what is best for me, I can't see the forest for the trees... 🤪😁
I have a revelation myself, but I still continue to ruminate constantly! My revelation was if I am having hypothetical imaginary conversations with my ex or his family because they don’t know what I know or won’t believe me… Then that means I need them to know truth me to be set free…(“the truth will set you free) But This means I’m giving MY power away to others to set me free…that I’m being dependent on them knowing truth for me to be free, instead of radically accepting the truth, that I know and I alone have the power to set myself free and to keep my power and stop giving it away. But still, I ruminate .
@@Ceogoogle. what’s that? also this is totally not a “therapy” but I met someone and seriously that cured 90% of my rumination!!! crazy how love can do healing work…and give the mind something else to ruminate on.
Thank you Richard for your time and the level of consideration you devote. I truly appreciate you and having started my day with your insight I am better prepared to deal with life today. The poetry was the icing on the cake. I asked God for discernment and He led me to you. I will continue to march on through the rising river of insanity,inspired.
@@wattsurfrigginproblem Jesus is saying in Matthew 10:16 that the call to be sheep among wolves is ultimately a call with certainty of vulnerability in the midst of persecution. Jesus is saying that if you are really with Him, persecution is a guarantee. Many have the misconception that sheep are not smart. While they may not be the brightest animals, they are known for their strong following instinct. When a sheep goes into a hostile environment, they are actually quite intelligent. They understand they have no real protection, save their flock instinct. As soon as a wolf comes, the natural instinct for sheep is to come together. The thought is we are more protected together than alone. ok i just copiepasted this above from an online article, i personally am just happy for you beeing inspired and so on and so on. It also comforts me, that the rising river of insanity you and me at times experience (the wolves) is just some normal sort of personality developement people go through and knew about even 2000 years ago, so lets just keep on walking with open eyes bro. something like that. did u get it / u feel me?
Richard, you were terrified of leaving because, if you did leave, YOU are the villain, because, at some point in the relationship, you told yourself you love her, and THAT is the moment the trap is sprung and the lock set: If you love her, you will endure her abuse; if you refuse to endure her abuse, then YOU lied when you thought or said, "I love you," and YOU are the narcissistic deceiver.
Richard, Once again, you have provided exactly the support and guidance and explanation I need, at the exact moment I need it. I know you aren't feeling well and the fact that you are still working to help those of us who are suffering and struggling continues to amaze and humble me. I'm also on day 5 of "Break the Narcissist Possession" course. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. I am leaning on you so hard right now.
Richard Grannon! I love you so much. Thank you for your videos. They help me stay in reality. I like your philosophical and humorous approach. Also, all your different accents. Please keep ‘em coming!
You've done an excellent job, in real time... you are where you are and that's the best anyone can do in time. We're all in this boat together and learning and thinking together, you're fine Richard because you're genuine and sincere. Thank you for being Real, that's all anyone needs or wants. Your insights are valuable and helpful or we wouldn't keep coming back to listen, think and learn beyond complete psychological terms and absolute definitions... which is somewhere between Sam Vaknin and Dr. Ramani, without being a psychologist (different people are needed to make sense)...which is the very necessary balance we (those who listen) need. Thank you, for being here. I need the variation, I believe others do too, or we wouldn't follow different different channels... Thank you!
I really appreciate your aside about trauma and how much is enough to "damage the engine" ... that's something that needs to be said often, because I too tend to downplay anyone's trauma (my own and others) if I don't recognize it as rising to the level of shock and awe. It doesn't have to be shock and awe to damage a delicate wire in a crucial place. That was a really good analogy.
Thank you for breaking it down. That explains the constant questioning about my past before we got together, childhood trauma, breaking up with my childhood sweetheart and father of my children and having cancer. Your video has made it so much clearer, I no longer need closure.
Ur comments on Catholic, English singing is crackin me up! So much truth. I always joke ‘Protestant/Catholic/and other English derived religious’ ceremonies are sooo boring and lack any tone or rhythm compared to many other religious worshiping. The singing is no different! We are just so dull and flat lol. Thx for the laugh!
Thank you Richard…you have answered many questions that I’ve been ruminating over…I recognize I am in a Cult of One …I moved 12 hrs away from the Narcissist, blocking all media and phone contacts…at around the 7 month mark, I made the deadly decision to remake contact…here I am 9 months later asking myself for the 100th time why I decided to do this…hopefully I can find a suitable therapist to move through my insanity!
What you said regarding when you’re on to them, that it will start the breakup process, hit me like a ton of bricks. Looking back to a year ago when i googled and realized what I was living with for the last 12 years, was correct! Once i was aware, there was no not seeing it anymore. It made sense. Thank you! I’m not sure why this helped me and my thoughts, but it did. I moved back about 10 months later, but as of two weeks ago, I’m out now for good.
Wow, I think I know the church! Have you visited the musem next to it? I am watching your videos since yesterday, I allready wrote in another comment that finding you was my Christmas gift. So, thank you once again! 🤗🙏
The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction...if you see this Richard watch some of her videos...the 6th trait in psychopathic something or other it's called...interesting research showing certain traits as risk factors not always related to codependency...agreeableness, loyal,...a few others...but I just thought it was interesting info...it's showing that sometimes it's related to someone's personality that they find it hard to leave...but with all that being said ..I just thought it could possibly be helpful to you and the work you are doing 😊
Interesting... my narc used to talk about her 3 "spirit fairies" that would guide her. She absolutely believed in them. I wonder if this is what it translated to (the I, ego & super ego)?
🤣🤣🤣 50:00🤣🤣🤣 screw therapy! Bye therapist! I did this and it wasn't good! It's so crucial to do work in therapy that is honest and focused on particular issues instead of just going in and having a chat...I've done this many times and it just doesn't work very well....at all.
www.strongwithstella.com/strongwithstella-course if you want to join me for 60 days as I sort my health out: sleep, stress management, organisation, gym and nutrition! Conquering Sleep Apnea and Metabolic Syndrome!
for the guided 30 day "Break Narcissistic Possession Course" www.richardgrannon.com/break-narcissistic-possession go here :)
L
fratello please tell me how come you just casually threw in 1, 2 sentences in croatian? of all the content this jebe with my zdrav mozak the most
I got shingles from toxic people recently, speaking up to them, they shamed me. I may be insulting a little, but I am learn😮NG to speak up, notley people bamboozle me
I explain to mY niece, •
your Uncle is like spray~ foam EXPANDING INSULATION; it fills every cubic centimeter of attic [ my mind]! So, its hard to GET OVER!
I pretty much went no contact with varying level of success with my family and other abusers about 10 years ago. I woke up this morning, crying because I realised (dimly) that since then, I have been my own narcissistic abuser. I don't need other people to abuse me or to tear down my confidence. My inner landscape sometimes turns into a war zone, yet I am the only one in the room.
❤️😢❤. This comment made my eyes sweat. If I may, Alanis Morissette: I'm sorry to myself. ❤. I hope you are well with you now ❤
I know how that feels. The criticizing and belittling runs in your mind for a long time! It can be maddening!
I definitely know that feeling. It ruined me In stressful situations .I have war inside all my life when I want to do something good for myself from buying something without quilt or just have any positive emotion.
What every your running thru your head write it down and turn it into something positive so you can catch yourself and repeat the good thing 20 to 45 times to counter and get rid of the bad stuff.
@@willowbrooks thankyou willow. 💖
As a codependent it's also really important to adress your shadow side to move on from narc. You must admit to yourself that you are not an all saving angel that can heal anybody with your magical love 💕 You are just a regular human being:) I've noticed that this grandiosety was holding me back from giving up because I was not willing to admit that I was not special 😂 so you must reduce your significance too😂😂
Yes!
Love you
ahhhhh surrendering to humble honesty ( a most necessary understanding )
I simply adore you. 🥰 I always get so much from your videos. I love the balance between exploring the pain and trauma inherent in the relationships and acknowledging that the narcissist is also suffering in some form or fashion. It is about accepting personal responsibility. This video helped me understand the "internal parent (super ego)" and how she sabotages me in just the right moments. This will be so much easier to spot and call out now. I can also now understand why it took me 4 years after seeing that it wasn't working, to walk out of my marriage. THANK YOU! *NMRK*
4 years of education isn’t too long to get free! I got my degree from the school of hard knox too!
Thank you so much Richard, I remember coming across your work almost a decade ago and I'm still working through the effects of a traumatic childhood.
Can I share that I have been able to minimise their mind colonisation by acting like an adult, taking full responsibility for my own actions and failings and being accountable for what I do. Moving from the victim mentality to an adult one.
Once you behave like an adult and speak like one they do fall away like dandruff. It's incredibly empowering. I often see it as my having 'arrived' finally and am now enjoying it.
I am able to interact when absolutely necessary but the 'blocks' are still in place and I spend every spare minute building my physical and mental health.
If I was able to survive that ordeal, I can survive anything.
The best thing is having adult children who have superb boundaries, behave like adults and are fully accountable for their actions. They don't take 'shit' from anyone but have great capacity for compassion. So I guess that's a victory.
The aging narcs now look quite sickly, desperate and embarrassing. Karma is a bitch.
When I was devalued and discarded . I was unable to reform and regroup. I was regressed to an infant.
How weak I was.
Although I'd deleted all messages and numbers. I HOOVERED him
Quelle horreur ❤❤
Level achieved! Reduced his significance through going grey rock, no contact, quitting drugs AND moving out of state. Plus time. And top drawer therapy. Hooray for me. His map of "reality" is light years away now.
Wow you are speaking my language Richard. TA is the foundation of my work as a psychotherapist. I’ve ended with the Narc and feel my nervous system is damaged. I saw it and logically knew what was happening but emotionally so weak to my own shock as I’ve been helping others for over 20 years … to cut him dead. Ended it many times in 6 years but kept getting sucked back in. I’ve done it this time but he is still lives in my head rent free.
Thank you for this video, it made it more clear.
Ps: looks you have dropped weight. Good for you looking after your health. Stay gorgeous and continue the great work ❤
I'm oxymoronically happy for you publishing this discourse Richard! I am having an 'extremely' difficult time with the superimposed, egotistical introjections/injunctions induced by my ex-partner, over 6 years.
During the relationship/post relationship I realise(d)/indentify(ied) the forementioned causalities are relational to my historical, unhealed wounds, centred around my developmental dynamic...
Sincere thanks for offering your wisdom and guidance on an all consuming existential phenomena. I am now in therapy, under the premise of determining which appropriate therapeutic intervention (4th pathway) to take...
I believe Freud noted that PTSD’d soldiers who had physical evidence of trauma, like limbs blown off, ended up doing better in life after the war than soldiers who did not have physical signs of trauma. So if that’s true, your mom yelling at you can actually be worse than if she’d just blown your arm off with a mortar.
Check out Robert Sapolsky "Stress Portrait of a Killer". Chronic stress can destroy your health and Narcissists cause Chronic Stress
i have recently come to the conclusion i am dealing with an abusive narcissistic roommate i have reached a stat where i feel trapped i can't escape everyone keeps telling me i need to give him a chance to change
The rise of narcissistic abuse or or otherwise has been systematic, the fact that so many people are in this situation is very telling, the system we're in seeks to isolate people to make it easier to control and exploit, this is what I have learned. I have been at the receiving end of abuse in many forms and found it hard to say no in as many.
But now that I am learning it will empower me (as it does for many others). I am very grateful that I now know more about abuse, that only makes a bit it easier if you have the clarity of mind to recognise that pattern and are willing to learn. Not everyone in abusive relationships have that ability to recognise that they are indeed in such relationships, or if they do know, don't have the knowledge to take steps to deal with it. I am currently in therapy now and am working on the road to recovery. I am taking responsibility for myself as I know no one else will do it for me.
Perfect video! I wish all of us the best who have endured these evil people. God bless!❤
This has been incredibly helpful. Thank you very much.
28:40 this is the best conversation I’ve ever heard about trauma… There’s so much talk about big T versus little T trauma… Mine is bigger than yours, you didn’t get blown apart by an IED, etc. so it’s not “true trauma“. This metaphor of the engine is so perfect, and I think anyone should be able to understand this with just a tiny bit of effort! Or if not like that, think about the human body. Suppose there is an injury to the knee, some kind of puncture wound, so that it absolutely cannot work without healing first. You don’t say that that person is fine because they have two knees, or they should be able to walk anyways because “it’s not that big of a wound!“ or it’s just a flesh wound… Lol especially during childhood, it is absolutely critical to keep this in mind. It’s very delicate parts of our psyche, of our engine that are being formed. One seemingly small wound at that point can lead to scar tissue, damage or destruction that prevents proper functioning, later, on, or permanently! Thanks for all the gold, Richard.🎉🎉🎉
We have a growing populace of people in our modern society who's freedom which I fight for is not enough. They are self entitled people who feel they can do / be / live / act however they want to. Not because they need to do it. But because they have life easier than other people at other peoples expense and do it simply because they can. Easy times (afforded by me) create bad people.
My terror is the thought of losing my vision of a marriage, and possibly losing my ability to parent my 2 children. The relationship began 8 years ago. Nice, sweet and helpful. Married now 5 years. Childish decisions, anger, rage from her are now real fears where I feel I walk on egg shells. Too much for this venue, I don't know if I bail and take my chances, or try to get her to enter into adulthood in therapy. Fix (treat) or Flee!?
Ottoman’s took the chants from Ortodox Greeks and they had directly translated and used the Ortodox Melodies and Prays in their own Islamic tradition. That is why you think its kind of islamic. Also the mosque shapes had been copied from the Old Ortodox Churches..
Also a strategy for females wanting to appear innocent and the better half. Like I'm interested in marriage with the right person, and it's not easy. They can act offended even when you haven't been in a relationship, interrogating you about who You've dated, who are you talking to now, and trying to make you jealous. My business is mine and yours when we aren't in a relationship.
Omg. Im just beginning inthis . trying to end the nightmare. Yhank you all.
I’m
Sick of
Them taking over my thoughts . Everything I do is shadowed
By… will they be mad… will they act out… will they demean me… sick of it
I did have more as certainty, it was a felt knowlege, that some new Narc (2 years ago) was a single, walking recorder and I thought, there was a person behind that, wanting to interact with the world, but for reasons couldn´t. Got away over a year ago. He used the absolut opposite language from my upbringing, but was exactly the same! Have seen him recently and there was NOTHING that can interact with others, it was a sound making machine, he could have talked to the laternpole...
Brill again!
I top this understanding with quantum healing ( whatever that is), so fricking occupying this can be at some times… Aren’t the mind & body is just a miracle?? 🤪🙏🏻
This is a good one dadi. 💯 Thank you 🙏
Yes. Boundaries. "I AM....."
What about those of us who had to create our own super egos from an abstract and what we could get from our own personal experiences relating to the outside world about how we felt?
The reason why we don't hit anyone came from the thought of how would we like it if we were hit, if we got an inappropriate answer we then asked "how did that person you saw get hit frep about getting hit?" then we would say "they felt bad about it" then we have the parent that contradicts the real father or mother who says we should hit people who harm us by saying "why would you want to just make things worse we've already used our brain and are now giving you the vision through your imagination of what could happen if you do what they tell you" *vision ends* "I won't do it" to which the response comes "that is rational and good".
How do you explain to people about the gaps you have despite keeping an open mind as a child after being emotionally abused by a parent and learning from others because some things are supposed to be taught by them rather than having to teach yourself by exposing yourself to things like what happened to people who did something and determining to avoid or adopt their behavior or parts of the behavior you like or agree with? Obviously yes this comes from seeing how people lashing out just destroys friendships or makes your own mother cry so you internalized not lashing out until middle school comes where people beat you up for no reason.
What advice do you have for those who had to fight their parents to become their own people and yet to survive had to play along with pretending to believe what they believe when you really didn't but knew better than to open your mouth after seeing your father screaming at your siblings red in the face with insane anger?
The reason I ask is because I struggle with things that are supposed to not be triggering like shame having a proper effect on me because I know what it's used for and have had that abused in bad faith to control me, which unfortunately here in America people don't like to explain anything or communicate on why so you struggle to come up with your own reasons that stick.
Or if he is your damaged father, he breaks your boundaries by failing to knock on your bedroom door. I was a budding teenager, just starting to wear a bra. I had to hustle to get dressed because at any time he was going to come busting through that door. I had no privacy. My mother taught me I was weak and sickly. She always pitied me and only took off work if I was sick. 🙄What a marter. I was marinated in narcissism from birth until 72 years old. That's when I finally found out what happened to my non-existent love of me.
Funny how my final discard was by someone who said he is studying the laws of the bible with jehovah witnesses now "to become a better man". I said by all means if it makes him a more loving man. But my opinion is he is a Pharisee. I saw under his mask at the end and no disrespect but that seems to be a narcissistic cult. His treatment towards me was awful and I had to check him and his behavior. I said you want to look like your a man if god but yet he fails to pay attention to matters close to the heart. It was a blessing he discarded me cause the bread crumbs were keeping me from being able to leave because it gave me a short reprieve from the intense emotions, but was not worth staying in the relationship.
Could you look at doing an anonymous place (on here or pre recorded) for people to share their story’s-from the hell of living in narc abuse-from their awareness o recovery and how they did it?!! And continue to use tools,support
Ive become so over reactive that i obliterated the last narc to the point im thinking iam the narcissist 😢plz help?
I’m really struggling to stop thinking about this demon
It will get better youll be able to somewhat stop
Grannon, Grannon! Sing! 😂 that was too funny.
How do you trust sam v. Enough to work with him?
He's smart, but still a narcissist....please be careful. U deserve better
Too many words my for fried brain
Might have to go to kindergarten level
❤️
I wish you could talk in simpler terms
👍
I'm a native German speaker you explained the Sigmund Freud's Ich und Über-Ich outstanding well.
You know what? Me I have a very silly ego, it's made out of humor. We will stay save with stupid if we do not take me that serious.
My primitive Über-Ich is programmed to love huge boobs if the girl is pretty and slim it has to be love.
And where is the problem if she is even intelligent and funny and stays after the first night for 1 1/2 year? Isn't it cute if she follows even to the bath room? 5 minutes to be by myself, just a few knife cut's, she isn't that hard to disarm. But I had to have some bullet holes to understand... I matter!
The justice system had a forensis psychologist. She told me I'm traumatized.
She was hot so let's do some therapie. Of course we slept together.
I won't say she didn't help me, but therapy is not to get in South América.
What helped me was I loud screaming Über-Ich. It was louder than introjections or a therapist. It was the voice of God. I need to survive and I love the gift of feedom.
I isolated one year.
Than an adult man went out in a completely different world.
You know I'm the man who gave his life for a pregnant woman. That's who I am. I want a friend like that.
I'm not friendly, I never was. I'm a protector I do my job as a body guard now far better. And I charge more for everything in life. I kept a few friends. They are gold. I had far too many relationships. Now I spend more time with the girl that make me feel happy the most. Respect makes me happy. What to me is far more important so is, that I can make her happy and feel save and understood. It feels like love, an energy that flows from me to her. A healthy woman sucks that up like a sponge. I have more than enough.
It's up to each girl by their behaviour who will see me when and how often.
I can't controle others. And there's not enough money to pay me for that.
¡Have fun! From South América
Dropping Tates off at the pool like a freaking Boss
Taking communion with Jesus blood and body is the cure for the empath, every time. Taking it regularly and counting Jesus’sbody as your healing. Counting Jesus Righteousness as your own with his blood. This is our life.
How does religion play into all this? 🤔
The nuns did the same !
Ur light hearted joking is a pleasant relief from a grueling subject that we all on this channel need to deal with heal from! Thank You!
I’ve learned I’m HIGHLY co dependent. My dad is amazing but also always fixed my problems and got me out of financial trouble and when I married my narc he beat me down emotionally saying I could never take care of myself or do it on my own. 8 years later, I now make more money than him, and have a lot more success. He tells me my position “fell into my lap”. I worked my butt off. Knowing I need to leave and hold my own. I honestly don’t care what he thinks of me anymore. I love me finally, and he can kick rocks. Attorney is writing up papers now and I won’t miss the chaos. I now see him as weak, instead of me being the weak one. I pray I’m finally strong enough. I feel like it , but time will tell. God has a plan
💯 agree. The moment I evolved enough to be able to talk at adult-to-adult level, my toxic 15 yrs relationship was over. He wasn't interested in mutual interaction. 😂
Holy crap, Richard. Over the past year since going seriously no contact I have obsessively listened to nearly all of your pod casts.
It's working.
People, listen to Richard. Your abuser implanted you with a slew of internal viruses. BUT you CAN purge them one at a time. It IS possible. It'll take about 8 months for the hardest phase, then it gets easier.
After 50 year of this, starting in childhood, I am coming out on the other side! Oh my GOSH how I love and cherish every moment now.
Keep at this. Now YOU are implanting your OWN mind with a new program, new ideology, NEW HOPE.
One day, one podcast, even one screaming minute to the next.
Don't look back because you're not going that way anymore.
this may not be for everyone but i just wanted to suggest following the teachings of marcus aurelius and jesus👑. for me personally he upgraded the purge to a fkn vampire super holocaust🔥
🎯🎯🎯❤
My sister asked to repair our relationship and when I told her only if we had an open & honest relationship, she said no.
We never spoke again. That was 8 years ago, I was shocked, sad and distraught until now. I thank my resistance.
@@marywhite3970 I know, that's why I kept her out of my life the few times she tried to hoover me back in on her terms.
"They're born evil" is how parents hide the abuse they have perpetrated.
Regardless of where in the body the trauma happens it is felt in the brain. Therefore mental abuse IS trauma.
You are becoming quite a scholar on this issue.
Richard, you just made sense in why I feel so happy recently.. realised my own 'mind' is coming back.. the one with healthy introjects, feel witty, loving people, enjoying details.. it was nothing new 5 years ago, this is how I am by default but I completely lost it being with my ex. He was diagnosed with BPD but was an absolutely massively aggressive narcissist.
I refused to submit and I only engage in equal relationships. I’m used to the constant conflict with people who want to be Oppressors. They try and force themselves onto me and I refuse to “Obey”. And I refuse to parent anyone who is not my child, this is madness of the highest order!!!!
I recently got rid of a male friend like this of 16 years as a guy. One too many times they tried to sneak a bossy stance on me. They took a cheap shot at me the last time I was walking out the door of their apartment. I had politely announced that I was not putting up with that. Their violence reaffirmed my decision
@@SST4SSG Did it get physical or was it verbal? That is wild!!
Brilliant.
Yep I did gestalt chair therapy between early 2017 to early 2018 for hardcore physical and mental child abuse.
Best thing I ever did, it set me free and I've had a relationship with my inner child for six year's parenting him, disciplining him gently as a good parent would etc.
I would suggest therapy for survivers of NPD abuse, gestalt chair therapy is for hardcore child abuse mind you.
Thanks Richard dude.
I’ve never heard of gestalt chair therapy. Why do you think it is helpful in recovering from narcissistic parental abuse?
@@katydid594
Dear Katy.
My apologies for the late reply.
I trust you are well.
In response to your question, it helped me because once I got in touch with my inner child, I started having these "awakenings" for want of a better word.
The awakenings manifested themselves in spotting and seeing NPD's around me in my personal life, work, friends, then finally my family.
All of which I went "no contact" with and put them out of my life forever. My family were the last to go back on march this year. Moreover, I was studying heavily NPD also.
I hope that helps you.
God bless.
Sorry for my English, I’m a German.
After 14 years with my abuser I started drinking again.
( I have been a sober alcoholic for 23 years ! )
Now I can’t manage to get proper sober again, I’m filled up with heavy depression, anxiety, isolation and suicidal.
Coming from a malignant Mother, just collected toxic people in my life.
Struggling for years already and nearly giving up.
I’m glade for those channels, cause at least I know, I am not all alone.
🫂 you are not alone 🙏🏻
Love your seminars. Find them insightful and help me understand how the mind of a covert narcissist and how the abused reacts to narcissist abuse. I’m slowly going limited contact. Before I couldn’t even string two sentences together but I’m very slowly learning to talk in a “normal” way after almost 30 years of abuse. Keep doing your wonderful seminars. 😊
"The super ego is not a quality control device, it's a recorder"...I'm shook. Yes, this is what is happening to me. I'm hearing my "inner critic" and allowing it to give me orders in stressful situations. It's not helping. It's not saving me. It's a broken clock that happens to be right twice a day and I've been cling to those twice a day examples for this entire relationship...
Co parenting with a vulnerable narcissist, going through court, 4 year old daughter parroting the awful things the mom is telling her. Mom tried to say I SAd her in an attempt to get a non molestation order order. She can't even help the passive aggressive messages even though we're using a co parenting app to communicate. The woman is super dangerous.
She wants your daughter to blame you for not being present in her life. Don't say this to the kid, ever. Just keep being there for her, and when she's of age, she WILL make her own conclusions about you. At one point, the mother starts to act with her like she did with you, seen it happen a dozen times. Just keep being a loving father, show her what real love is, you've got this.
@corvus_knives Thanks man. I appreciated that and that is EXACTLY what I'm doing. I am her calm.
My husband went through the same with his ex. Compassion for you and your daughter. Best of luck. ❤
@@jkw__ thanks 😊
Brother ❤❤ I feel you, very similar situation. I have a 7 1/2 year old with a borderline/covert, narco path, who destroyed a business I started couple years later, with the help of a covert/probably BPD, but not diagnosed. They will do their absolute best to put you through hell. For months or years, or the rest of your life, in any way that they can!
Do you ever feel like you became the Narcissist yourself? when you are the Golden Child and the Scapegoat... I fear I have become the Narcissist myself.
"You're making a horrible noise with your face holes!" ROFL
I love how you Spoke at the end about why we focus on Narcissism and not self-healing. I am trying to use more pleasure in my life in order to focus on the progress I am making, despite how much of a horrible place I am in the world... I recently had a flip switch inside where I no longer felt hurt anymore, but I felt loved. and I'm trying to embrace the positive form of this hurt that has been dumped on me through out my life. Hurt can pretend to be love... and I was reminded of what Self-Love felt like. Hurt and Love felt so close to each other and I was confusing one with the other... So trying to keep that positive feeling propelling into reshaping my understanding of what it means to have peace and joy in my life once again. What you said really confirmed that I am on the right path to self-healing.
After a lifetime of narc exposure the memories take on a persona of their own and become a separate entity... I think the term is "intrusive thoughts", I get those often especially as my awareness has grown. That is a sign that I have separated myself from the narc's projections imo.
go Richard...greetings from mila Croatia 😀
You’re right on target, Richard! As usual. After 47 years I finally “came to”..out of the spell. After a year of ongoing therapy I’m finally standing up for myself like never before. She not allowed to affect me any longer. She’s been making a fool out of herself in front of others while attempting to public shame me. For all the wrong reasons. As she’s aging.. she’s loosing her “talent” and power she’s had all these years with manipulation and abuse. All of her 6 kids are finally seeing her clearly and turning away. And she is absolutely acting like a child. And yes, she does want me to speak to her like she’s the child 🥴🤯
Craziest shit I’ve been through in all of my life. She has taken sooo much time and energy of others. I was always her “little helper”/“right hand man”growing up. Now days she’s such a blatant bully 😂🙃😢 🤷🏻♀️ I can finally laugh about it. I understand she is literally not in her right mind. So she doesn’t even register fully how annoyed and fed up everyone around her has become. She will die miserable. Her doing. No one else’s.
This is so spot on. Once I looked into transactional analysis recommended by a therapist... everything made sense and relationships in general were easier to navigate and boundaries easier to set. It also helped me really acknowledge my own behaviour and adjust accordingly . I love all your content, Richard. Has helped me so much over the years and still does ❤ thank you
This makes sense. I'm white knuckling it right now to stay away from my narcissist. He has become rude and demanding and sees nothing wrong with his behavior. We've broken up and now he is messaging like nothing happened . No recognition of the lines he crossed. He asked what I meant when I told him that. I'm so addicted to his attention but the verbal abuse is so bad. Really struggling.
I feel for you. As Richard says, do not attempt sincere communication with the terminally insincere. Like talking to a wall! It may help you to read about trauma bonding. It is possible to break the addiction. No contact is best way. It is amazing to get your power back and live drama free! Wishing you the best.
One Hour At A Time SomeTimes
Dont Stop Trying
You Will Get Free And you Will Truly Be Happy Again When you Are Totally Separated
It Helped me To Realize What we Are Dealing With Is Not A Human who Is Normal
When A PerSon Has NPD, There Is A Nesting Of Demons
When we Realize we Are Dealing With Spiritual Beings, It BeComes Easier To Separate Their Behavior ToWard us From who we Really Are
And we Are DeServing Of Real Love And Kind Treatment
You Will Get Thru The Hard Part
Then you Will Breath
Shalom 😊
They dont recognise boundaries do they, and the entitlement, omg. Just remember youre worth more than that, keep your self respect and sanity at all costs. Theres someone out there who will treat you better, you deserve it, but you wont find them wasting time with this one. Have to value yourself to find that strength.
Block and delete. Job done.
"He asked what I meant by that" 😂 I know it's not funny, but I can so relate
Thank you.. for explaining this. my mind is not good at the moment, it's clogged up with his past . His abuse . His cruel actions. everything that I have gone through many years in life with him. Its no wonder it is difficult to free those awful memories what they have put there. I don't think you are ever the same again as you once was before.
1:11:41 Thank you for sharing your journey. The more I listen….the more I’ve come to understand that the answers I seek, are already embedded within me. I see the growth in you. It has motivated me to understand and accept myself in ways that was blocking me from moving forward. Yes I’m a little sad about how long I have felt left out. Because of your candid honesty I am encouraged to be the courageous person that I am. This feels cereal. I am grateful for your service.🙏🏼🤍🕊️
How do u remove Mommie DEARESTS & my ENTIRE FAMILY ABUSE?
Walk away first!
You should try this out 😊😊
I got to say much love to you and thank you for your contributions... Must of saved my life a few times already 😅 👍
I've been listening for several years, and your information is always helpful.
Richard... so happy that you are in therapy... it shows! We all need it... And especially those of us who are compassionate and have the desire to help others along this recovery path so they & we can live our best lives. I remember someone telling me to get involved in something that is helping others, which takes that intense focus off of ourselves... and while investing time in others lives, we will get the help that we have needed. We learn through helping others.
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, explaning an option as how to cope with a certain issue and you hear.....
"This is for Me!"
I need to do this!
I believe that this is how God works. I'm really good at discerning & evaluating others situations & suggesting a path that I believe would benefit them, always having their best interest in mind... but as for discerning what is best for me, I can't see the forest for the trees... 🤪😁
I have a revelation myself, but I still continue to ruminate constantly! My revelation was if I am having hypothetical imaginary conversations with my ex or his family because they don’t know what I know or won’t believe me… Then that means I need them to know truth me to be set free…(“the truth will set you free) But This means I’m giving MY power away to others to set me free…that I’m being dependent on them knowing truth for me to be free, instead of radically accepting the truth, that I know and I alone have the power to set myself free and to keep my power and stop giving it away. But still, I ruminate .
And have many dreams of talking (sometimes screaming!) it out over and over I bet xx
thankyou for putting that into words.
Do chair work 100 percent effective
@@Ceogoogle. what’s that? also this is totally not a “therapy” but I met someone and seriously that cured 90% of my rumination!!! crazy how love can do healing work…and give the mind something else to ruminate on.
You know it!!!
Thank you Richard for your time and the level of consideration you devote. I truly appreciate you and having started my day with your insight I am better prepared to deal with life today. The poetry was the icing on the cake. I asked God for discernment and He led me to you. I will continue to march on through the rising river of insanity,inspired.
Behold, I am sending you as lambs among wolves; be therefore crafty as snakes and innocent as doves
@@roccobolognese8179
Hey...I'm curious, if you don't mind, would you elaborate on the context of your reply?
@@wattsurfrigginproblem Jesus is saying in Matthew 10:16 that the call to be sheep among wolves is ultimately a call with certainty of vulnerability in the midst of persecution. Jesus is saying that if you are really with Him, persecution is a guarantee. Many have the misconception that sheep are not smart. While they may not be the brightest animals, they are known for their strong following instinct. When a sheep goes into a hostile environment, they are actually quite intelligent. They understand they have no real protection, save their flock instinct. As soon as a wolf comes, the natural instinct for sheep is to come together. The thought is we are more protected together than alone.
ok i just copiepasted this above from an online article, i personally am just happy for you beeing inspired and so on and so on. It also comforts me, that the rising river of insanity you and me at times experience (the wolves) is just some normal sort of personality developement people go through and knew about even 2000 years ago, so lets just keep on walking with open eyes bro. something like that. did u get it / u feel me?
it was sooooo much and so well suited to my needs. Thank you 💚
Blown away!!!! Such a huge Aha moment. Thank you so much.
Love and appreciate your wisdom your humanness, your humor and your gift to humanity ♥ may you be well ❤ 😊
I vote for not having kids. Why? If you know you’re disordered, you know you were abused as a kid, why would you risk that? Lol.
Too much logic haha😅
don't have children.
Richard, you were terrified of leaving because, if you did leave, YOU are the villain, because, at some point in the relationship, you told yourself you love her, and THAT is the moment the trap is sprung and the lock set: If you love her, you will endure her abuse; if you refuse to endure her abuse, then YOU lied when you thought or said, "I love you," and YOU are the narcissistic deceiver.
Richard, Once again, you have provided exactly the support and guidance and explanation I need, at the exact moment I need it. I know you aren't feeling well and the fact that you are still working to help those of us who are suffering and struggling continues to amaze and humble me. I'm also on day 5 of "Break the Narcissist Possession" course. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. I am leaning on you so hard right now.
Richard Grannon! I love you so much. Thank you for your videos. They help me stay in reality. I like your philosophical and humorous approach. Also, all your different accents. Please keep ‘em coming!
Love and appreciate your messages .. still recovering after 5 years ☹️
I really enjoy listening to your lectures/videos. Ive learned so much for you. Thank you Richard
😂you're so funny. Great show. Thank you🙏
You've done an excellent job, in real time... you are where you are and that's the best anyone can do in time. We're all in this boat together and learning and thinking together, you're fine Richard because you're genuine and sincere. Thank you for being Real, that's all anyone needs or wants. Your insights are valuable and helpful or we wouldn't keep coming back to listen, think and learn beyond complete psychological terms and absolute definitions... which is somewhere between Sam Vaknin and Dr. Ramani, without being a psychologist (different people are needed to make sense)...which is the very necessary balance we (those who listen) need. Thank you, for being here. I need the variation, I believe others do too, or we wouldn't follow different different channels... Thank you!
Very well said , Bravo! 👏 🙌 ❤
Im Gandu😆
You're a genius, Richard. Thank you for laying it out so clearly. It helps!
I really appreciate your aside about trauma and how much is enough to "damage the engine" ... that's something that needs to be said often, because I too tend to downplay anyone's trauma (my own and others) if I don't recognize it as rising to the level of shock and awe. It doesn't have to be shock and awe to damage a delicate wire in a crucial place. That was a really good analogy.
Thank you for breaking it down. That explains the constant questioning about my past before we got together, childhood trauma, breaking up with my childhood sweetheart and father of my children and having cancer.
Your video has made it so much clearer, I no longer need closure.
"Our music is not good...English people don't sing good" 😂😅🤣 You made me spit out my coffee! As a former Catholic, I must agree, LOL 😅🤣😂😅🤣😂😅🤣😂😅
😂i think that that's a Catholic trade all over the world- if the music is beautiful the lyrics would want you to kill yourself 😅
This makes so much sense to me. It’s strange because I wanted answers to these questions for a while now. Thank you Richard
Great job. Thanks !
Awesome video Richard, Thank you!
I love my fellow strugglers, glad we are all working together.
Thanks Richard. I can never hear this information enough particularly when delivered in your inimitable style.
This really helped me understand
Thank you so much for all you do
Sending you healing & positive vibes xx
So is God just Freud's Super Ego in a collective and societal construct?
Ur comments on Catholic, English singing is crackin me up! So much truth. I always joke ‘Protestant/Catholic/and other English derived religious’ ceremonies are sooo boring and lack any tone or rhythm compared to many other religious worshiping. The singing is no different! We are just so dull and flat lol. Thx for the laugh!
Thank you Richard…you have answered many questions that I’ve been ruminating over…I recognize I am in a Cult of One …I moved 12 hrs away from the Narcissist, blocking all media and phone contacts…at around the 7 month mark, I made the deadly decision to remake contact…here I am 9 months later asking myself for the 100th time why I decided to do this…hopefully I can find a suitable therapist to move through my insanity!
What you said regarding when you’re on to them, that it will start the breakup process, hit me like a ton of bricks. Looking back to a year ago when i googled and realized what I was living with for the last 12 years, was correct! Once i was aware, there was no not seeing it anymore. It made sense. Thank you! I’m not sure why this helped me and my thoughts, but it did. I moved back about 10 months later, but as of two weeks ago, I’m out now for good.
Wow, I think I know the church! Have you visited the musem next to it? I am watching your videos since yesterday, I allready wrote in another comment that finding you was my Christmas gift. So, thank you once again! 🤗🙏
The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction...if you see this Richard watch some of her videos...the 6th trait in psychopathic something or other it's called...interesting research showing certain traits as risk factors not always related to codependency...agreeableness, loyal,...a few others...but I just thought it was interesting info...it's showing that sometimes it's related to someone's personality that they find it hard to leave...but with all that being said ..I just thought it could possibly be helpful to you and the work you are doing 😊
Interesting... my narc used to talk about her 3 "spirit fairies" that would guide her. She absolutely believed in them. I wonder if this is what it translated to (the I, ego & super ego)?
Oh my… how are reading my mind so much lately. 🤣 3 years post divorce and I can recognize more more and more things now that I’m out of the fox hole.
🤣🤣🤣 50:00🤣🤣🤣 screw therapy! Bye therapist! I did this and it wasn't good! It's so crucial to do work in therapy that is honest and focused on particular issues instead of just going in and having a chat...I've done this many times and it just doesn't work very well....at all.