Being shy is like your true self being hidden inside a shell. You can break out of the shell and show your true self, but it feels impossible to do that. This is why you see some quiet people who later on start talking a lot when they break out of the shell. They're shy people. Introverts don't have a shell hiding who they really are. There's no true self hidden behind the quietness. The introverted-ness is a part of the true self.
Shy extrovert here. I thought I'm introverted for a long time as well, cause people always called me introverted. BUT I love being around people 😊 Also spot on with trauma. I have ptsd, which is one source of my shyness.
This was great, thanks, I have been researching "how do i get more confidence in myself" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Beyophia Unimaginable Blaster - (should be on google have a look ) ? It is an awesome one of a kind product for discovering how to say goodbye to your shyness and anxiety without the normal expense. Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my co-worker got cool results with it.
But introverts also like company, it is just that they need to recharge that much more - with them being alone. I always tought that I am extrovert, but I think I am in the middle... because I really need alone time and quietness, if I spended a lot of time with the people. It gets me exhausted, even tho I like being with them.
@@evicaf4e I think this is where we might be different 🤔 I load up energy when I'm around people and loose it slowly more and more the more alone I am. I live in an apartment with a friend too. I prefer it from living by myself 😊
@@danika9411 i love to hang out around the people, living with 3 people and also being around my friends and my work/study is very social, but I also enjoy being alone...going to nature by myself, being in silence, etc... I love both of the worlds equally.
This video was so eye opening. I’ve recently come to the realization at 22 that I’m likely a shy extrovert rather than introvert. I get bored and sad a lot when I’m alone, but still avoid social situations a lot because of anxiety, but then when I DO decide to hang out with people, it’s like the most uplifting and fulfilling feeling. Also, looking back, I was insanely extroverted as a kid lol, like annoyingly so, which caused some pushback which may have caused me to being more self conscious and developing social anxiety.
I grew up very very very isolated and always thought i was an introvert. It wasn't until i started a job where i fluctuated between being alone for long periods and working with anyone person that i realized how much less energy i had when i was working alone but i also felt a lot more in control of my anxiety, even if the situation wasn't any better. At the end of the day i realized that it was more comfortable to be alone, but healthier to be around other people
I'm a shy extrovert just realised that- I actually drained energy from being alone and I live being in social situations, just a lot of times I'm shy 😊
Thank you for this video. As an extrovert that is shy and has social anxiety, it's a hard thing to balance sometimes. Working on getting out of the shyness.
@@DavidsGameplayMC yeah in parties the right amount of alcohol makes you care less about others opinions or how they see you and makes you a more outgoing person
I think I've been an extrovert my whole life, just with very bad social anxiety. I used to irrationally fear embarrassing myself in front others. I always felt lonely and depressed. Once I was comfortable in my own skin I discovered rsd and realized I was worthy of living the life I desired. The more extroverted I act the better I feel on a day-to-day basis. Anyways, I feel like this is the kinda thing that cures depression.
Just had a conversation with a classmate last month. They were talking about living with roommates and how they couldn’t get enough sleep. When I said that I was so glad to be living alone, they responded that they actually liked living with roommates, because they’d get lonely if they lived by themself. I’ve always thought of myself as a shy introvert, but the pandemic (and moving out of state for the first time) has really confirmed it. I have never felt lonely when I was alone!
Yeah, I know a lot of people who wouldn't want to live alone - It baffles me because I love having my own space so much. It's my own space where nobody can interrupt my serenity.
I want to correct you. I'm not shy because of something that happened in my childhood. I was just born like this. Some people just have this extreme shyness.
I'm the same. Not a shy extrovert, but a non-shy introvert. Lots of social interraction is draining and I need LOADS of me time daily. But I am completely comfortable socialising with people, making conversations with strangers etc. 😁
Love the video. Finally fighting my anxiety has really changed my life, and I realize I am more extroverted :) The personality test is offline in case you are not aware.
I am so chatty and loud naturally so everyone wants to invite me out everywhere, I enjoy my time for about an hour then I start to want to sleep, I feel my energy has been drained by a energy vampire so I need to spend time alone to recover from parties and social gatherings. After a big party with lots of people I feel like I just climbed a mountain. I go very quiet towards the end of the night and look very drained where my extroverted friends look like they just came alive. You can tell who the introverts and extroverts are at the end of a big party, it is so obvious. I am still a very loud and chatty person, It doesn't mean I am extroverted.
I have severe social anxiety and adhd and I crave socialization but I just don't know how to do it. I used to be outgoing and say what I wanted to as a kid but then people judged me like parents and children...Now Im not..I don't know what to say in a conversation, I want to befriend people but its difficult af
For me, I would say that I'm a shy extrovert. Cause I do hesitate about going to big social gatherings at first, but then when I go, and the night is over, im glad that I went and wish to do it again soon.
I know so many people who say they are introverts yet they can spend hours talking in large groups, they hate being alone, and despite being outside all day they still feel the need to socialize. I identify as an ambivert, though I think I fall more on the introvert section, I find social events overwhelming and I find my alone time too precious for anyone to touch, but I am still very extroverted, but it has nothing to do with me being loud or energetic, it's just that I like talking to people and in rare cases, I might even find it more attractive than being alone, though only with ciertain people at a ciertain time
I'm just a bit left of the spectrum into introversion territory myself. I often get labeled as being 'shy' or even unfriendly/not nice. Of couse, I've had times where I've felt shy, anxious, and unfriendly, and I can definitely say, those are all different feelings from eachother and all separate from the natural state of introversion. I completely feel the thing about parties (love concerts myself), before it happens I'm always like "ahh what a hassle, all these people, I don't know should I even go??" but then I go and have a blast...but then need a couple days to recover xD
Good summary. I'm not shy, I speak often in front of hundreds of people and do TV interviews, podcasts etc.. But I am an introvert. Going out to bars and clubs is no fun for me, as such a lot of the advice by dating coaches who focus on those areas are of no (or little) use to me. Now we only have to find ways for introvert men to find cute, high quality women 😁
Hi sir thank you for this video now i realize i am an introvert and i realize some of the people around me who kind of criticize me for being introverted they are actually shy extroverts. Hehe
yeah sometimes i feel like a introvert but sometimes i feel confident and can walk into a store and just say whatever or when people talk to me im like yeahhh what up bro haha and i walk with confidence. other times im super shy and self conscious.
Im a fucking shy introvert with high level of severe Anxiety. Any PRO tips? "No man it's all inside your head. Just pray and have Faith and just be yourself", won't work either, tried it before, failed miserably. Any Cheat codes or some shit?
Hey Hex, sorry to hear that bud - Social anxiety can be really debilitating - there aren't any cheat codes sadly - it's something you have to work through the slow way. The only potentially fast ways I know of really require experts. 1 - Psychedlic therapy - This is the forefront of research, and good luck finding a professional to do this with you - there are very few of them. 2 - Medication - Oddly beta-blockers appear to work quite well for a number of guys with social anxiety - they shouldn't, but it appears that reducing muscle tightness, breathing rate, and heart rate in anxious situations goes a HUGE way to reducing our perceived anxiety levels. Barring the two above - the type of therapy I've seen teh most success wish is growing in popularity among psychologists - it's known as ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. You could look into it by getting a book called "the happiness trap"
I would like to ask , if being an introvert has nothing to do with being shy then what’s causing stress around people and needing recharge by being alone for a long period of time?
So, being around people always carries stress - not everyone thinks about it - but our brains have to work overtime - we have to c onsier complex social structures, be more aware of our body language, eye contacts etc - the brain has to work harder with lots of people around - it doesnt' matter if you're introverted or extroverted. BUT what extroverts have that introverts don't - is the reward centre of the brain fires off much more strongly - so the social rewards are much higher than for an introvert. So that generally keep extroverts pepped up and happy - introverts still get social reinforcement that can feel good too , but not as strongly as wtih extroverts.
Being an introvert in a social setting doesn't actually cause you stress, you just start to feel really tired and need to recover. Like, he said above, you don't get dopamine hits from socialising. You see this on so social media when people get dopamine hits from likes, those people are extroverts, extroverts gain energy from socialising where extroverts just get tired, it isn't distressing to be a introvert, you just want to go home early from parties and spend more time with yourself, it isn't distressing because it is naturally who these people are. Where shyness is a phobia of social interaction so it causes stress, all fear causes stress as it triggers your flight or fight mechanism. You can be both shy and a introvert you know!
I hate that dictionaries online often misdefine what introvert really is. I told my mom about it after a few days misinterpreting me (she said that I'm depressed one time). However, she didn't believe me after searching it because well... you know.
I love being around others. Though many times I stay to myself......Yet I never feel shy. It was confusing to me. But I realized I'm extroverted. I hate working alone; I hate being alone. I always wanna be around others (if I like them, that is).
Lots of people who are introverted have no issues with being social or being around others, it just causes them to get really tired and lose energy. Your ability to be around others has nothing to do with being a introvert or extrovert, that is what he is trying to explain in this video. It is to do with energy, do you gain energy the longer you talk with people or do you lose it, simple as that.
@@drrd4127 I never gained or lost energy being around people l. Maybe if the conversation is boring, then I'll lose energy. The only thing that brings me energy is sleep and coffee.
Thank you for the clarity, on being extroverted and my some what social anxiety (due to a few things)... But also, why do you feel the need to blaspheme the One who gave you life...
I don't think these definitions mean much. I scored two standard deviations below average on the Si scale of the MMPI yet I like spending time alone and examining my internal state.
I can't talk for the MMPI as I'm not familiar with it - but some personality tests aren't really very reliable or scientifically accurate at all - like Myers Briggs.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I think the MMPI is probably the most scientifically accurate one as it was developed based on empirical evidence. The scales were developed by comparing the average population to the responses of psychiatric patients The Si scale is considered the most consistent. A person tested 40 years apart usually gets almost the same score. Yes the Myers-Briggs test is considered pseudo science in these days. The MMPI Si scale is really about social introversion, something that can cause problems in one's life. Other types of introversion definitions are not really useful in my opinion.
I like to spend lots of time alone as well. But this pandemic has really shown me how all my introverted friends struggle not even half as much with this pandemic than me. I need human interaction every other day. I also love to discuss my internal state realizations with others. An introverted friend of mine love it too once a month or so lol. I could do it all day. It gives me energy.
I don’t think that personality tests are very useful. A study conducted showed that approximately 50% of personality test participants get a different result the second time that they take the test.
Well the difficulty with personality tests is, 1) What test is being run - for example MBTI is notoriously unscientific , so completely unreliable - 2) The conditions the personality tests are being taken under. The more the respondent works to be brutally honest with themselves, the closer the consistent they get. Most proper modern Personality tests, namely the Big 5, and 16 Personality Factor tests and pretty robust.
Very good test results said exactly how I feel I am... 🤣, not scared to say how I feel and struggle to gain rapport with women because I don’t understand them emotionally and that ends up in treating them like shit 🤣🤣🤣
Being shy is like your true self being hidden inside a shell. You can break out of the shell and show your true self, but it feels impossible to do that. This is why you see some quiet people who later on start talking a lot when they break out of the shell. They're shy people.
Introverts don't have a shell hiding who they really are. There's no true self hidden behind the quietness. The introverted-ness is a part of the true self.
Shy extrovert here. I thought I'm introverted for a long time as well, cause people always called me introverted. BUT I love being around people 😊 Also spot on with trauma. I have ptsd, which is one source of my shyness.
This was great, thanks, I have been researching "how do i get more confidence in myself" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Beyophia Unimaginable Blaster - (should be on google have a look ) ? It is an awesome one of a kind product for discovering how to say goodbye to your shyness and anxiety without the normal expense. Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my co-worker got cool results with it.
But introverts also like company, it is just that they need to recharge that much more - with them being alone. I always tought that I am extrovert, but I think I am in the middle... because I really need alone time and quietness, if I spended a lot of time with the people. It gets me exhausted, even tho I like being with them.
@@evicaf4e I think this is where we might be different 🤔 I load up energy when I'm around people and loose it slowly more and more the more alone I am. I live in an apartment with a friend too. I prefer it from living by myself 😊
@@danika9411 i love to hang out around the people, living with 3 people and also being around my friends and my work/study is very social, but I also enjoy being alone...going to nature by myself, being in silence, etc... I love both of the worlds equally.
@@evicaf4e That sounds good 😊 having the best of both worlds 😁
This video was so eye opening. I’ve recently come to the realization at 22 that I’m likely a shy extrovert rather than introvert. I get bored and sad a lot when I’m alone, but still avoid social situations a lot because of anxiety, but then when I DO decide to hang out with people, it’s like the most uplifting and fulfilling feeling. Also, looking back, I was insanely extroverted as a kid lol, like annoyingly so, which caused some pushback which may have caused me to being more self conscious and developing social anxiety.
Wow this comment made me realize I'm an introvert. I get exhausted around people and I'm usually happy alone for a long time
I like meeting new people and getting out there but I often get very anxious before going out anywhere and meeting once we get into the swing i'm fine
Same bro, same.
I grew up very very very isolated and always thought i was an introvert. It wasn't until i started a job where i fluctuated between being alone for long periods and working with anyone person that i realized how much less energy i had when i was working alone but i also felt a lot more in control of my anxiety, even if the situation wasn't any better. At the end of the day i realized that it was more comfortable to be alone, but healthier to be around other people
Yeah it's so fascinating how we can accidentally mix shyness, or being used to being along with introversion or extraversion
I'm a shy extrovert just realised that- I actually drained energy from being alone and I live being in social situations, just a lot of times I'm shy 😊
Thank you for this video. As an extrovert that is shy and has social anxiety, it's a hard thing to balance sometimes. Working on getting out of the shyness.
I love being around people I feel comfortable with, but too shy to create meaningful connections =/ help
Meet me
Fuck that’s my life in a nutshell. I find alcohol helps, although not the healthiest thing to recommend I realize.
@@DavidsGameplayMC yeah in parties the right amount of alcohol makes you care less about others opinions or how they see you and makes you a more outgoing person
I think I've been an extrovert my whole life, just with very bad social anxiety. I used to irrationally fear embarrassing myself in front others. I always felt lonely and depressed. Once I was comfortable in my own skin I discovered rsd and realized I was worthy of living the life I desired. The more extroverted I act the better I feel on a day-to-day basis. Anyways, I feel like this is the kinda thing that cures depression.
Well yeah I mean we can make a person clinically depressed just by removing social interactions from their life
Just had a conversation with a classmate last month. They were talking about living with roommates and how they couldn’t get enough sleep. When I said that I was so glad to be living alone, they responded that they actually liked living with roommates, because they’d get lonely if they lived by themself. I’ve always thought of myself as a shy introvert, but the pandemic (and moving out of state for the first time) has really confirmed it. I have never felt lonely when I was alone!
Yeah, I know a lot of people who wouldn't want to live alone - It baffles me because I love having my own space so much. It's my own space where nobody can interrupt my serenity.
I'm shy and introverted and I don't feel bad about it because I know myself💕
I want to correct you. I'm not shy because of something that happened in my childhood. I was just born like this. Some people just have this extreme shyness.
This is a common misconception, people think that if someone is shy they are automatically an introvert, but often that is not always the case!
I took the School of Attraction dating profile quiz and I got: Reserved, Shy and Self Reliant.
I'm the same. Not a shy extrovert, but a non-shy introvert.
Lots of social interraction is draining and I need LOADS of me time daily. But I am completely comfortable socialising with people, making conversations with strangers etc. 😁
Introverted mostly around the other gender. Extroverted when around the same gender. Yes, i'm weird.
relate also like the hanako pic
Fam just switch to the other side and you're perfect
some random weeb on the internet then ur gay lmao
Wtf
It’s more like I get anxious around the opposite gender more like “I care a lot about men validation” it’s sad-
But I’m working on that
Love the video. Finally fighting my anxiety has really changed my life, and I realize I am more extroverted :)
The personality test is offline in case you are not aware.
Well,you shed some light on the fact that where i get my energy and feel at home is different how comfortable i am in my natural environment.
I am so chatty and loud naturally so everyone wants to invite me out everywhere, I enjoy my time for about an hour then I start to want to sleep, I feel my energy has been drained by a energy vampire so I need to spend time alone to recover from parties and social gatherings.
After a big party with lots of people I feel like I just climbed a mountain.
I go very quiet towards the end of the night and look very drained where my extroverted friends look like they just came alive. You can tell who the introverts and extroverts are at the end of a big party, it is so obvious.
I am still a very loud and chatty person, It doesn't mean I am extroverted.
Yep, I can be loud and chatty, and know how to work a room, but DUDE it drains all my energy quickly!
I'm very interested in the Psychology of Personalities! Bring the videos \o/
I have severe social anxiety and adhd and I crave socialization but I just don't know how to do it. I used to be outgoing and say what I wanted to as a kid but then people judged me like parents and children...Now Im not..I don't know what to say in a conversation, I want to befriend people but its difficult af
Think of what you want people to say to you. That train of thought helped me to overcome my anxiety.
For me, I would say that I'm a shy extrovert. Cause I do hesitate about going to big social gatherings at first, but then when I go, and the night is over, im glad that I went and wish to do it again soon.
I know so many people who say they are introverts yet they can spend hours talking in large groups, they hate being alone, and despite being outside all day they still feel the need to socialize.
I identify as an ambivert, though I think I fall more on the introvert section, I find social events overwhelming and I find my alone time too precious for anyone to touch, but I am still very extroverted, but it has nothing to do with me being loud or energetic, it's just that I like talking to people and in rare cases, I might even find it more attractive than being alone, though only with ciertain people at a ciertain time
4:28 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you!!
Im mostly quiet but whenever I see someone talking abt something Im interesting in I talk a lot 👌
That personality quiz was like 95% accurate... Im impressed
Cheers Andrew!
I am a really shy introvert.
I'm just a bit left of the spectrum into introversion territory myself. I often get labeled as being 'shy' or even unfriendly/not nice. Of couse, I've had times where I've felt shy, anxious, and unfriendly, and I can definitely say, those are all different feelings from eachother and all separate from the natural state of introversion.
I completely feel the thing about parties (love concerts myself), before it happens I'm always like "ahh what a hassle, all these people, I don't know should I even go??" but then I go and have a blast...but then need a couple days to recover xD
How can I know what I am if I've never had any friends?
Good summary. I'm not shy, I speak often in front of hundreds of people and do TV interviews, podcasts etc.. But I am an introvert. Going out to bars and clubs is no fun for me, as such a lot of the advice by dating coaches who focus on those areas are of no (or little) use to me. Now we only have to find ways for introvert men to find cute, high quality women 😁
The test is really well done! I like it a lot :). The video is interesting, too
Hi sir thank you for this video now i realize i am an introvert and i realize some of the people around me who kind of criticize me for being introverted they are actually shy extroverts. Hehe
Haha yeah, you will get that time to time too ;)
I feel like the majority of people, although extroverted, actually dislike working in groups, especially if it’s for work or school.
I used to shy . Now I am an introvert.
yeah sometimes i feel like a introvert but sometimes i feel confident and can walk into a store and just say whatever or when people talk to me im like yeahhh what up bro haha and i walk with confidence. other times im super shy and self conscious.
Im a fucking shy introvert with high level of severe Anxiety. Any PRO tips?
"No man it's all inside your head. Just pray and have Faith and just be yourself", won't work either, tried it before, failed miserably.
Any Cheat codes or some shit?
Hey Hex, sorry to hear that bud - Social anxiety can be really debilitating - there aren't any cheat codes sadly - it's something you have to work through the slow way.
The only potentially fast ways I know of really require experts.
1 - Psychedlic therapy - This is the forefront of research, and good luck finding a professional to do this with you - there are very few of them.
2 - Medication - Oddly beta-blockers appear to work quite well for a number of guys with social anxiety - they shouldn't, but it appears that reducing muscle tightness, breathing rate, and heart rate in anxious situations goes a HUGE way to reducing our perceived anxiety levels.
Barring the two above - the type of therapy I've seen teh most success wish is growing in popularity among psychologists - it's known as ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. You could look into it by getting a book called "the happiness trap"
Well i like to read, right, ect while im alone. But i also enjoy hanging out with people wether they are familiar or strangers.
Yes interested in personality video!
Cheers, Lambertus
He Himself Is Extrovert
I would like to ask , if being an introvert has nothing to do with being shy then what’s causing stress around people and needing recharge by being alone for a long period of time?
So, being around people always carries stress - not everyone thinks about it - but our brains have to work overtime - we have to c onsier complex social structures, be more aware of our body language, eye contacts etc - the brain has to work harder with lots of people around - it doesnt' matter if you're introverted or extroverted. BUT what extroverts have that introverts don't - is the reward centre of the brain fires off much more strongly - so the social rewards are much higher than for an introvert. So that generally keep extroverts pepped up and happy - introverts still get social reinforcement that can feel good too , but not as strongly as wtih extroverts.
Being an introvert in a social setting doesn't actually cause you stress, you just start to feel really tired and need to recover. Like, he said above, you don't get dopamine hits from socialising. You see this on so social media when people get dopamine hits from likes, those people are extroverts, extroverts gain energy from socialising where extroverts just get tired, it isn't distressing to be a introvert, you just want to go home early from parties and spend more time with yourself, it isn't distressing because it is naturally who these people are. Where shyness is a phobia of social interaction so it causes stress, all fear causes stress as it triggers your flight or fight mechanism.
You can be both shy and a introvert you know!
I hate that dictionaries online often misdefine what introvert really is. I told my mom about it after a few days misinterpreting me (she said that I'm depressed one time). However, she didn't believe me after searching it because well... you know.
Thank you, I may be a shy extrovert.
i took the myers briggs and got 51% introvert and 49% extrovert. so yeah i was confused lmao 😭😭
Well it's a spectrum, so that suggests you are particularly extroverted or introverted - which can be a good thing!
I love being around others. Though many times I stay to myself......Yet I never feel shy.
It was confusing to me. But I realized I'm extroverted. I hate working alone; I hate being alone. I always wanna be around others (if I like them, that is).
Lots of people who are introverted have no issues with being social or being around others, it just causes them to get really tired and lose energy.
Your ability to be around others has nothing to do with being a introvert or extrovert, that is what he is trying to explain in this video.
It is to do with energy, do you gain energy the longer you talk with people or do you lose it, simple as that.
@@drrd4127 I never gained or lost energy being around people l. Maybe if the conversation is boring, then I'll lose energy. The only thing that brings me energy is sleep and coffee.
im shy introvert and i hate it
if you hate being an introvert than youre not an introvert! Youre just a shy extrovert!
Good stuff
Thank you for the clarity, on being extroverted and my some what social anxiety (due to a few things)... But also, why do you feel the need to blaspheme the One who gave you life...
Well, I'm not religious, so it doesn't really have a meaning to me.
I don't think these definitions mean much. I scored two standard deviations below average on the Si scale of the MMPI yet I like spending time alone and examining my internal state.
I can't talk for the MMPI as I'm not familiar with it - but some personality tests aren't really very reliable or scientifically accurate at all - like Myers Briggs.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I think the MMPI is probably the most scientifically accurate one as it was developed based on empirical evidence. The scales were developed by comparing the average population to the responses of psychiatric patients The Si scale is considered the most consistent. A person tested 40 years apart usually gets almost the same score. Yes the Myers-Briggs test is considered pseudo science in these days. The MMPI Si scale is really about social introversion, something that can cause problems in one's life. Other types of introversion definitions are not really useful in my opinion.
I like to spend lots of time alone as well.
But this pandemic has really shown me how all my introverted friends struggle not even half as much with this pandemic than me. I need human interaction every other day.
I also love to discuss my internal state realizations with others. An introverted friend of mine love it too once a month or so lol. I could do it all day. It gives me energy.
I wish someone would hear my story..🙃
I don’t think that personality tests are very useful. A study conducted showed that approximately 50% of personality test participants get a different result the second time that they take the test.
Well the difficulty with personality tests is, 1) What test is being run - for example MBTI is notoriously unscientific , so completely unreliable - 2) The conditions the personality tests are being taken under. The more the respondent works to be brutally honest with themselves, the closer the consistent they get.
Most proper modern Personality tests, namely the Big 5, and 16 Personality Factor tests and pretty robust.
Very good test results said exactly how I feel I am... 🤣, not scared to say how I feel and struggle to gain rapport with women because I don’t understand them emotionally and that ends up in treating them like shit 🤣🤣🤣
i'm sad
i wanna die
I'm sorry to hear that Amir - I hope you are planning to seek professional support like a therapist - this is what you most need right now.