Borderline Personality Disorder | My Diagnosis
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- Опубліковано 22 вер 2019
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In this episode, Sammy describes what it was like to finally get the right BPD diagnosis.
Nearly 40% of people with borderline personality disorder are initially misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). In this episode, Sammy Grimm explains what it was like when she finally got the right BPD diagnosis.
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Was your or your loved one's BPD diagnostic process similar to Sammy's?
Access more mental health educational video series like this one HERE: bit.ly/2m6vYzx
Thank you guys so much for having me!❤️❤️❤️
love you sammy
Sammy-Marie Grimm my 18 yr old was recently diagnosed with BPD and I shared your video series with her. It was so helpful, hopeful, and inspiring to both of us! Thank you!
Did you do group DBT therapy? I’ve heard it recommended but I haven’t found any groups near us.
Sammy-Marie Grimm your amazing and thank you for all your candid information on the topic. I salute your bravery. I can completely relate to your story and I have hope from hearing your story. Again, thank you 🙏
Thanks for your courage in sharing your story. Not an easy thing to do. You are helping many people by speaking out loud about a struggle that is unfortunately shrouded in shame.
So courageous... so honest... shedding light where in a place it is much needed... you’re awesome!
Thank you for speaking out for those of us with BPD. It is largely still a mysterious & unknown mental illness.
I'd say it's pretty well known, perhaps the most well known, as it's the most common. Schizoid personality disorder is an example of an unknown and mysterious disorder.
@@-SUM1- It's still vastly unknown among Psychiatrist's, Psychologists, Therapists & medical professionals in my area of the country.
@@terrilynch7845 that’s really unfortunate
@@jordanflanders7195 It was a relief, after 58 years of living to be accurately diagnosed.
Then came the hard work, to heal.
That's because it's absolute bullshit.
I was also misdiagnosed with Bipolar. I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar 2. It wasn't until I started seeing this amazing therapist, and the Psychiatrist of the place I attend therapy had diagnosed with me Borderline Personality Disorder. I am thankful that I have such supportive people around me that actually empathize and understand what I am going through. I have what is otherwise known as "Quiet" BPD
Kyle -- you are such a skilled interviewer -- and I so appreciate the work you are doing. You know how to ask a great question -- then listen -- not interrupt. You are the perfect person for this important job. Joe Laforsch
I remember that I was diagnosed with bipolar at 14 (despite the fact they aren’t supposed to diagnose it to those under 18) and getting told at 18 that I actually had BPD I got super mad at the new doctor with the correct diagnosis. It was unreasonable on my part. I went full denial. “No. It’s bipolar. That’s what they’ve told me. That’s what I’ve been treated and medicated for many years! Don’t just tell me that’s incorrect and it was all for nothing now!!!” Was my feelings then. But of course I couldn’t vocalize it then because I didn’t understand my feelings about it then and why I was angry. He tried to make me leave the room to tell my mother the diagnosis which made me a bit more upset but I refused to leave saying “I’m 18 now. I can stay in the room if I want now.” Thankfully I calmed down when he explained it to my mom.
MA Mental Health Counseling Student with Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis here. 1. After discussing this with many other affected individuals, I feel that the term "Borderline Disorder" is so contested and stigmatized by now (I don't think it started out this way; the term was originally just that, a diagnosis, and not a punishment or derogatory term), that it needs to be replaced by something else. As somewhat mentioned in this episode, the diagnosis itself now creates almost more pain than it brings healing, as both society and clinicians don't miss an opportunity to shame and blame BPD simply for being "BPD." In my case, the diagnosis explained my symptoms and thus brought relief, but I find the entire concept of "personality disorder" problematic as it is shifting the blame - originally I was simply a person suffering with symptoms and great mental distress, after the diagnosis it became about me (my personality) being somewhat defective, me being "difficult," "dramatic," etc. Marsha Linehan also didn't appreciate the term and suggested "emotion dysregulation disorder" instead. Apparently BPD is also very much linked to C-PTSD lately (which would be helpful, as this concept focuses on the roots, not "personality" insufficiencies when it comes to analyzing distress and dysfunction). 2. I feel very much alone in becoming a MHC with a mental disorder (even personality disorder)! Even though I get a lot of positive feedback from my classmates about how my insight based on my history of mental illness is helpful and educating for them, I haven't found any established therapists who are forthcoming about personal mental health problems (especially regarding severe mental illnesses). It is still such a taboo subject - even though people with mental illness are exactly the ones who can help clarifying much of the confusion and mystery that revolves around certain diagnoses. Could MedCircle do an episode on therapists / psychiatrists / MHCs / etc. with personal histories of mental illness? Are there any support groups out there? Any "wounded healers?"
I knew something was wrong and I researched different mental illnesses and I read bpd symptoms and I fit everyone of them. When I went to get diagnosed and they told me I actually burst into tears. It's a very hard life.
I got mine today. I knew it. I'm sad but also relieved and I need a hug. All the love to all of you bpd's. stay strong✨
Same here :') Sending you a hug
I know someone that exhibits a lot of these characteristics.. it's so heartbreaking to watch them struggle with everyday things.. it is a vicious cycle. So proud of this young woman! You are strong and beautiful.. and well on your way to recovery! Continued good health to you! God bless you both.. and thank you for sharing your story with us.
Listening to you is like listening to my own thoughts out loud. It feels like a weight is lifted off my shoulders knowing there's at least someone out there that knows EXACTLY how I feel and me knowing they understand 🥺❤️
Sammy, THANK YOU so very very much for talking about this!! I’m 55 years old going through my 2017. I have just been diagnosed with BPD & CPTSD... after 38 years of trying to find a correct diagnosis. It’s hard but you inspire me!!!
So sad the horrors some people experience. I’m glad she is finding peace, she’s working so hard. Kyle is so good as the interviewer in these videos. What amazing people
i was diagnosed a few weeks ago... without knowing. needless to say i was shocked! im so happy for everyone who finally found out the label that describes their struggles.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Sammy.
Yes I was diagnose with bpd in 2018 and you have to be completely honest in order to get the proper treatment.
I’m enjoying this series. It’s amazing Sammy figures it out herself .
I started watching this channel about 5 months ago and 2 days ago I got my diagnosis for BPD. Thank you guys for the educational content❤️
This was very eye-opening. Very intriguing. Great job, Sammy. Love from your SamFam.
I've just had my life ruined by someone I loved for 13 years that I am now convinced has BPD. I have since had some very eye opening conversations with her family that showed me she had lied to me since the first time I met her. She convinced me they were horrible people and it was all a lie.
The problem is we have 3 kids together and she is ruining their lives and teaching them to think and react like her. I need to find a way to get her to seek a diagnosis, but she thinks she is fine. I know inside she knows she isn't, but can't admit it. I can't let her ruins my kids lives like she did mine.
How do you help them to seek therapy and accept what they are if they aren't there already.
Omg I want to cry with you! Everything your saying I feel like I can relate on many levels. For years and years I’ve only been diagnosed with depression.
You have a great boyfriend! Thank you for being so brave to share so much with us. So helpful. Whish you all the best.
Please do more on DID, CPTSD, and panic disorder
I notice she seems to be a bit nervous while talking about it. I'm the same way whenever I talk about myself.
same
Great interview hope she gets the best care
Is it normal for people with BPD to have the same diagnosis reaction? Because I felt this exact same way, and I wanted to scream and cry but I was happy I found something
I got diagnosed with bpd after I experienced the worst major depressive episode of my life. I feel sorry for people who are stuck in that. It's really nothing like feeling down or blue. It's like been smothered by a lead blanket 24 hours a day
I was recently diagnosed with BPD and Major Depressive Disorder with Psychosis. I also ended up finding out for myself about this disorder and having that “AH-HA! Finally!” moment. This disorder is vicious and the damage it can cause is scary to anyone involved, ESPECIALLY the one suffering from it.
The moment hits like when you pick up the fastest momentum riding a rollercoaster down its steepest slope and it doesn’t go away but you didn’t know it was there or expected it to last this long. Or you’re on fire and no amount of water can put it out but in reality you’re trying to put it out with gasoline. You sit there trying to dry the water from your skin but it keeps getting wet because you don’t know your hair is still soaked with water. Meanwhile you have no idea why it’s happening or who to go to about it because you don’t want to burden people with something you can’t even explain yourself.
I had no clue what was going on. Where up or down was, why I couldn’t stop feeling pain after so many days. It doesn’t matter how many miles you walk, how many tasks you complete, or how many people talk or console you. You feel like you’re dying or not feeling at all. I do want to share a writing I did during a very dark moment so that people can understand what the thought process is during these times or know they aren’t alone. I’ve been dealing with feeling alone for a very long time. It was just a matter of when you want the help, which I’m currently doing at this point. But without the right help, it’s damn-near impossible to calm down someone who has this disorder. Here is the writing. It does have dark subject matter and offensive language so read at own risk. But this is what it’s like fighting with who you are without the proper help:
Nose dive from the loft
Where we left off
Into the ground
Being strong then so soft
Standing beside myself lost
Feeling no line I can't cross
When I should stand behind it
But I'm so blind with my eyes glossed
From the poison of rage
Blending all my days
Can't hold onto a single thought
In my chair dazed and crazed
Should I keep on smoking
Just blaze and blaze
I'm not one who plays
With your mental maze
My velocity's climbing
A downward declining
Through the nasty hole
Where thoughts have no silver lining
Let's go even deeper
Meet your sub-conscience reaper
Who has the key to your cellar
Grotesque rock bottom doorkeeper
Who gladly unsealed the lock
Opened the door when you dropped
To relive every bad choice
On the way to your fast stop
Going passed that line
You should have stayed behind
But it's too late now
Your home is the basement this time
There's no chance of escaping
My spirit is raped and
I can hardly move
All bound up, gagged and taped
The smell of shit makes the nape
Of my neck stand up straight
But no way to move
From this heightened and fucked up state
This process should not be monotonous
But with no inner cause it's because
The claws when our path's crossed
When I was lost and you held on
Pull me right, then the left
Straight up emotional theft
Then throw the rope at my chest
And say, "Go hang you instead"
Starting to sink in the dirt
In the basement beyond the Earth
I need to pull myself out
But I'm broken and too hurt
Let it pull me under
A much better slumber
To drown in the basement
Then let the rope do its number
how did it go when you got diagnosed? my whole family thinks i have it and i’ve taken MANY online tests and would score extremely high. i have an appointment booked for a psychiatrist. how long will it take to get a diagnosis? will i be told at the same appointment?
@@ttranyo Key thing is being honest with how you feel. My process was being checked by a nurse who logged what I was going through, waited for the therapist and mentioned some things that have happened and examples of what I went through. After that process I was diagnosed and talked to the psychiatrist. Have to mention this to prepare you, the psychiatrist is USUALLY not known for bedside manners so prepare yourself for a blunt and forward one. Other than that it was a very liberating moment for me. It’s a daunting task but necessary to help with this if you do indeed have it.
She is an important and strong person.
Very helpful. You guys are heroes
Love Sammy & Brian ❤
emily thank you! Love you!❤️
she's cool. smart. i think you got this girl. thanks for sharing your story.
It's a process we have to trust the process! Sammy your amazing keep shining bright beautiful! 💕#SamFam
very insightful!!! I'm trying to follow the meds- antipsychotic and a mood stabilizer so what was your associated. diagnosis...... DBT best treatment.... congrats and keep up the hard work
I'm a poet too and with BPD, OCD, PTSD...
and it is very irritating when my doctor judge me with my poems I hate it so muchh
Thank you Beautiful girl for sharing your story. 💜 I am so sorry your journey has been difficult, yet so graceful when sharing your story. I’m so happy you have answers.
"time to demonize a person" is what they think of these people. it shouldn't be in the cluster b cause you can have heightened empathy but kkkkkkkkkk
So encourageing
Wow. Informative.
youre a real gentleman Kyle
Is their a video that ends up explaining her Schizophrenia diagnosis?
At least they’re getting treatment and able to be treated vs wrecking relationships. It really does damage dating one but not as bad as a narcissist or antisocial personality. You’d never see those accept a personality disorder diagnoses. BPD is mostly formed in childhood so, don’t abuse your children that’s the most important thing.
I agree that it can be toxic or hard for the other person depending on that person and how the bpd person reacts to their emotions... I had a bf once who wanted to start learning and he was helping me come down from thoughts based from emotions.. It really helped.. Yet he did finally cheat on me n i understood he just cldnt n didnt want to.. Its abuse and neglect in children. Lot of people forget the neglect part.
Oh no i think antisocial is the worse to date bc their manioulation is calculated.
very informative ❤
Was also told I was bipolar and they threw medication at me and kicked me out. I'll never forgive the so called "psychiatrists". I had to self-diagnose. If there is a cultural revolution, the psychiatrists will have the same treatment as the billionaires and landlords.
Really nice talking tbey are talking about
When I got diagnosed BPD I cried for 3 hours. Still can't get help in UK
When I was diagnosed with bpd I went on a mission to read and watch everything about bpd. I cant relate to anyone else's experience with bpd. I've been in treatment for bpd for 17 years and I've made zero progress. I feel more alone and angry since nothing makes me better. I even had to stop going to group because I was becoming more and more destructive to others in group that were making break throughs. Am I alone in this experience? I just want to relate to someone, anyone so I can for sure know what's wrong with me so I can become better.
we are finite. you get one shot. how bad you want it? dont worry about them, worry about YOU!!! you know you better than anyone else after a lifetime of being you right? listen to you, be true to you, see you, forgive you, love you and believe you. feed the positivity, starve the negativity. are you crazy or unique? life is about the journey, not the destination. “Without suffering, there'd be no compassion.”
Please get well. Then maybe your story will help someone too. Grab hold of the positive. Listen to uplifting music. Get the help you need. You're worth it.
Been doing the work for 3 years and I learned a great deal of myself but felt worse. Being validated in person always felt like a pity play. Believing something to be true and not being able to feel it yourself was so hard to explain to anyone and even though I had a big support system I was feeling more alone than ever. I realized I wanted to feel validated myself and nobody was going to do that for me because I have control issues, and I would get angry if anyone tried to even relate or give me suggestions. 😬 I started watching different therapists on UA-cam thinking I knew what I wanted but would get turned off by the slightest. Finally coming across one who had never met me but knew everything about me was an odd feeling. For the first time I listened without feeling attacked or defensive (because I kept remembering he wasn't in the same room). I eventually gave in and started doing some journaling work he offers for free. I hate writing but the amount of information he was helping me get out of myself, by using generalized morals and perspectives, was too much to remember and it all felt so vital I couldn't lose it. I spoke so much to myself that I'd be able to make connections and see clearly, feeling validated internally little by little and it's been the only thing to give me hope. It was truly a game changer. I've only been doing it for a few months and make so many connections and release a lot of shame. I have been able to listen to myself for once and understand my brain patterns. I was just feeling what you posted last night and didn't want to comment because I felt silly and a tad self righteous but for the first time I feel open to giving other options a chance, so I feel it was needed. I hope you don't give up and find what works for you, thanks for commenting.
Can you have BPD under 18? I have 6 of the symptoms and I'm 13 so if anyone knows anything that would be helpful
I really need help understanding something that no one has yet known how to answer.
I have full blown fabulous BPD 🙄... with paranoia, dissociation, and I have random psychotic episodes of various kinds.... They tell me its "transient stress related Psychosis" common in BPD.....
Ok my damn question is... What is the difference with being diagnosed:
BPD with Schizophrenic tendencies, BPD with Psychosis, BPD with psychotic features. 😑
They all kinda come across the same, but with different wording after BPD, so I'm super confused how they differentiate them.
How do they know that maybe I have Schizophrenic tendencies and it's not transient stress related Psychosis. Or maybe I have psychotic features.
I mean Psychosis isn't just hallucinations... It's delusions and other things too, aside from constant paranoia.
Everyone just looks at me like 😳 when I make this point and ask... Like I've baffled them. But no answers. 😔
I'm also Bipolar... So in between those random episodes I'm dealing with crappy BPD.
Then there's the question... Is it BPD stress related Psychosis, or am I Schizoaffective. 🤷🏻♀️
But, then wouldn't schizoaffective be Bipolar with Schizophrenic tendencies?
Am I dealing with borderline Psychosis in between Bipolar episodes, or am I Schizoaffective?
See, mind blowing...I think of this stuff and professionals are like 😳.
I say I have these problems but my doctor just ups my mood meds cause he thinks am just moody from my ocd but I have so much similar symptoms to this but I want a doctor to care enough to look at me same with adhd.
I was just diagnosed with BPD
Hope ur doing good,itll be good in the end
Honestly tho SAINT MARSHA dbt saved my life!!!!!! Samfam forever xoxoxo
Olivia Nicoloff samfam!!!!😊❤️
@@SammyGrimm love you always girl!!!!!!! you give us hope that there is a life worth living despite all the suffering this disorder throws at us
The Doctors did not have a clue. So they scramble and pretend they know. I ended up having to diagnose my ex-girlfriend though a process of elimination. Sadly she would not go to therapy, so the relationship ended. She was a comorbid Covert NPD.
One of her dissociations was her "real self"; a beautiful person who I loved. But the sadist was dominant and destroyed the relationship.
Wait do you have any experience/knowledge in psychology or did you just say 'you have this' lmao
Now I have went to multiple Physio therapist, after getting dissapointed I am diagnosing myself.
Her 2017 is my 2020 :(
Mine too. I'm waiting to get into a DBT program, but have to be diagnosed BPD first. I already did the research before I applied for disability and diagnosed myself with CPTSD, which is so similar it's almost identical to BPD. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar and I am coming OFF the damn mood stabilizers. I can't STAND being a zombie. I have a shitload of willpower. I quit opioids and tobacco cold turkey. I'm going to get off meds and re-train my brain using my stubborn assed attitude and analytical mind.
So far, it's kept me alive through over 26 years of severe depression. I trust it. Then again, without God, my attitude wouldn't mean crap. I believe in myself cuz I have God to back me up. 😇🙏
Sending love and hope your way 🙏 please know it does get better
Just got diagnosed two weeks ago,
I don't know what to do
live
What workbook did she buy off Amazon?
Probably the one by Dr. Fox
It also sounds like bipolar 2
Damn girls are awesome 😁
In one of her videos on her channel she tells her audience that she actually purposefully lies to her therapists so that she doesnt get hospitalized?
Do you have the link to that video? I would think that’s normal with this disease since it makes you unstable. I had a friend who I believe has BPD and she constantly changes what she says.
I feel like it’s understandable though. Getting hospitalized isn’t fun
is she is an actress or real patient?
She is 100% a real patient not a actress u can watch her on you tube
Is she implying Bipolar isn’t a significant illness? I have both BPD and Bipolar are they are both just as significant.
How? When?
Ha fresh out of the drs office 😂
The one telltale sign of BPD......rage.
Sigh, everything has gotta be a disorder.. One day being a Genius is going to be a disorder... and they will treat it with stupify pills.
Thank goodness you don't need stupify pills. You're in no danger of being considered even close to brilliant.
emdr and rem are very very different things.. 14:38