Everything she is sayin is a description of my life. I know the diagnosis bipolar with psychotic tendencies n suicidal ideation n anxiety n panic disorder, but I know they're missing a diagnosis. I looked up bpd n it was a list of me to a t. I'm not diagnosed with bpd yet n need help, but I'm having trouble finding help n overwhelmed
This is VERY unfortunately STILL my life. I have been misdiagnosed multiple times since my preteen years. I'm now 37 and still facing the same struggle. I keep having to go through changing diagnoses and comorbid conditions along with different medications to match them each time. She is absolutely right. As I keep trying to communicate and not getting anywhere but worse as years go by, I can't help but to feel more and more like a lost cause as NO one understands just how much of a prisoner to myself AND society I feel everyday. The Mental health field is very disappointing to say THE LEAST. Over my decades of seeking treatment, I've been let down OVER and OVER. I've even had some professionals give up and refer me to other professionals with hope that someone else could do better figuring out how to diagnose and treat me. Here I am present day with another Doctor because my last Doctor felt I needed to see someone else. Same story, different day. I finally decided to ask questions about my diagnosis again as the all the new medicines were just like all the others and it seemed like he wasn't listening to properly make sure I was being given the right medications! Medications I've always been given either were not helping me get better, making me feel like I was a robot going through the motions and not actually living, making me have really serious mental side effects, making me sick or making me unable to properly function to complete daily living tasks. I asked him exactly what are my diagnoses and possible comorbid conditions "now" that I'm being treated for (I knew like many other times, they change and unless I ask or get copies to inquire). His first sentence was to let me know that diagnoses aren't important and tried to reassure me that he was properly treating me for what "he" sees when we have our appointments. My heart instantly dropped AGAIN. I had been seeing him for a year at this point and we still had NEVER had ANY appointments lasting more that 10 to maybe 15 minutes (with appointments spread between one and two months apart). My close family members have even asked to go because they started to really worry again and wanted to try to express their concerns (of course with no successes as they would even question how I can relay what's going on with me when they can't relay what I go through in such short period of time). This part of healthcare has been extremely difficult for me. I say all this to say there are MANY flaws to getting the treatment you need and a LOT of people that live and die in suffering because of it. Suicide isn't always what people think. To many, it's a cowardly act but for those who have committed such an act against their life could've been being very brave the whole time they were secretly fighting for their life everyday that they lived. At some point, you wonder and feel like your decision to continue living and enduring is for the ones you love and not yourself...
Yep. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar over 8 years ago. Currently tapering off my mood stabilizer. Waiting to get into a DBT program. Scheduled for the BPD testing during my next therapy visiting. I'm 90% sure I'll pass, since I know I have CPTSD (self-diagnosed) and they are so closely related. Sammy is remarkable. I've been a mess since 2006. Probably because of the BPD, severe depression, and long term SSRI use. Everyone has to fight their own fight.
@@anniebrassell5343 - I hope you are doing better, Annie. You really do have to be your own advocate. I know it's hard. I was a damn zombie, but I knew something was wrong. I remembered who I was, how I used to think, how sharp my brain was, so.... I started researching. It is very surprising what you'll find when you do. You can diagnose yourself by following your symptoms for a few weeks and checking out the list of illnesses in the DSM 5. You can Google what you are looking for"DSM 5 bipolar symptoms" or "DSM 5 depression symptoms." Find something that fits. Go to a doctor you like and see what they say. You can also check online if any of your symptoms may be side-effects from medication. ALL psych medications have long lists of side-effects. Insomnia is a common one, for example. There are also websites where people rate their personal experience with medications and what they took them for. I like those. Stopped me from taking some meds. If you don't think your meds are helping - talk to your doctor about it! What you may benefit from is case management. That is basically when your therapist and shrink work together to manage your mental health. I'm going to Easter Seals, and that is what they do. Any therapist may be willing to do that, if they are familiar with the process, and competent in doing so. That way the therapist, who sees you a lot more, does the diagnosis, and the shrink orders the appropriate meds. I don't trust someone who has seen me for 10 or 15 minutes to throw meds at me. You are right. I've been to Easter Seals and another nonprofit and they both had case management. The most important thing is that YOU feel comfortable with your diagnosis/diagnoses and are improving or are moving towards the goal of improving. If you aren't, keep pushing until you do. I understand dealing with the health system is a constant battle, especially when you feel like you are doing all the work. If you need support from someone who understands, I've been at this a very long time. I'd be happy to be there for you. My email is lmanville77 @ outlook.com
Hi. Thanks for the helpful video. I have a question. If bipolar was a wrong diagnosis, why do you use bipolar medication (lamictal)? Does it also prescribed for bpd? Thanks.
They put me on two strong medications and discharged me. I was so sick too. It was horrible. I had to get off them myself, it took me two years. Pure hell. All I have is CPTSD. :( Horrible :(
I have BPD but I went through 50 years of “bipolar”misdiagnosis by DRS. explaining it was “bipolar mixed state” which made me accept that I MUST HAVE BEEN WRONG WHEN I insisted that I didn’t have bipolar lengthy mood swings . I was treated as bipolar almost my whole life until I searched and researched and figured it out myself. I’m now 71, in a nursing home, and all I can do now is look back on a lifetime of unhappiness, blame, bad behavior, and a whole lot of horrors that I can now see as part of BPD, not bipolar. But it’s too late for a Mulligan.
Im sorry to hear this, i went through the same but im finally diagnosed properly at age 30. My mother went until age 54 before finding out for sure an findin that all four of us kids have it. Mines just worse mixed with severe ptsd
Dats saddening at I at least hope God gives you eternal peace in heaven if not well what was the point of people struggling with mental illness Dey whole life God bless you ma’am I feel ya pain seriously smfh💯👌🙏
I'm so sorry you went through this. Mental health has been pushed to the back burner for so long and it sounds like you suffered for that. I hope you can small pockets of contentment in your life. Good luck my friend. It's never too late.
I was misdiagnosed with 'treatment resistant depression' for 2 decades. Told I had to stay on antidepressants for life. Turns out I have bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD. Antidepressants trigger mania for me.
Damn that's fucked up. I've had some weird episodes since starting my antidepressants, but I don't know for sure if they're to blame... In general I think they made me more social and relaxed, but now I sleep 13 hours at night and I don't really notice the passing of days. I guess normally my anxiety would kinda get me moving, but now I feel kinda frozen even though I still get anxiety, but it manifests differently. The episodes were I would barely sleep and eat alot but lose weight and I would like hop around and act like a child and I thought I had alot of energy and courage, but I was just acting really weird. Then at one point I just collapsed and started hysterically crying, which had happened before, but this time it was in public and I couldn't get up and an ambulance was called, because they thought I broke my leg, but then the doctor thought I had a psychotic break, but I was still aware I just couldn't speak or move or stop crying.... I was diagnosed with depression and autism, but I think I might have bipolar disorder. Does any of this sound familiar?
@@amidreaming333 when I had extreme crying episodes was usually PTSD for me which was worse in mood episodes with bipolar. People keep asking if I'm autistic all the time. I have traits
@@BipolarCourage I can take 1 or 2 low doses of ssri and immediately not sleep, and start some grandiose project. The BP is very evident, snd, I sympathize. What I wonder is.. what about ptsd. What are the most defining, or surefire symptoms of ptsd?
@@sebastianbillings7807 PTSD requires a medically defined trauma. Symptoms can include low mood, flashbacks, avoidance of anything linked to the trauma, dissociation, irritability etc etc. Can set off the bipolar & vice versa.
It’s funny, it’s your job to find the help you need. You’re sick, what normally happens is that the patient is unable to discern what they need and they go through life without the help... this field is so inept... people need professionals that are truly educated but unfortunately that is just not what is happening. I think a lot of people who are not able to self advocate are lost... they die.. just imagine you need your appendix removed but the doctor doesn’t do it until you tell them exactly what to do.... crazy
I'm a psychologist, but I don't practice traditionally for the reason it's driven by the pharmaceutical industry. The Dr. Makes money from prescribing meds. But the same is true in the medical society. Medical "mistakes" are the 3rd cause of death in the medical system. I don't think Borderline even exists as defined by the DSM-5. Many people have overlapping symptoms. And co-morbid conditions. She sounds Bi-Polar. The drug use complicates things & is a coping mechanism for pain. Pain underlies every disorder, but the drugs make it more difficult to diagnose. The definitions are made for Drs & INSURANCE companies. This is true of the Psych & medical community. They are both driven by Big Pharma. I have enough horror stories to fill a book about medical misdiagnosis's & people nearly dying, including myself. All people with any self-awareness can diagnose themselves better than a Dr., be it medical or Psych. She might have co-morbid conditions. BPD is in Cluster B with NPD, sociopath, & psychopath....the marker being NO EMPATHY. She clearly has empathy & insight, 2 things not present in Cluster B Personality Disorders. Self-harming is BPD, not present in any other Cluster B disorder. I think the way BPD is defined makes 90% of people with or without it misdiagnosed. Peace&love❤❤✌✌
@@gymnast2890 bpd is not defined at all as having no empathy. Npd isn't completely either. It's not that black and white. With bpd it's more like you tend to lack empathy WHEN you are triggered and have the typical bpd meltdown. It's only situational. We generally feel very deeply and CAN also emphasize very strongly and be insightful obviously.
I've learned that BPD are kinda the opposite of NPB because they have empathy. What they have in common is being manipulative but for different reasons
BPD kind of has an empathy paradox actually. Because at times, the individual with BPD can be extremely empathetic but at other times completely lack that empathy. I believe I saw a youtube video explaining this or read a psych study on it.
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder at 13, which, in retrospect, seemed waaaaay to early to be diagnosing me with anything. I was also a victim of malpractice and put on 8 very high dosage antipsychotics and antidepressants, along with ritalin, because adhd tends to be co-morbid with bipolar. My psych literally said, "You dont fit the criteria for adhd, but I'm going to diagnose you anyway." This went on for four years. I was actually the person to find bpd and read about it and brought it to my new psych. Lord knows how much brain development was stunted in me from being over medicated.
I really appreciate Sammy sharing her journey and she is so strong and smart and kind to share her story in order to help others. I just wanted to clarify from my Bipolar experience that not all low or high Bipolar episodes manifest in anger. I myself have never been aggressive. I am sure that there are also others like me in a similar experience. I just wanted to share this to set straight the stigma that people with Bipolar go from happy to angry. For me I go from super excited and grandiose which can lead to delusions and I just feel that life is sunshine and rainbows. My low is me not being able to take care of myself in the least and having suicidal ideation. Everyone is different and I don't feel people should use anger as a key descriptor. Sorry this is just something I have always felt strongly about so I wanted to put it out there
I love her, she’s my favorite youtuber!!! I found her about a year ago and I’ve been watching her daily since. I’m happy she’s on your channel! You’re one of my favorite channels too.💕💕
SamFam here.. these videos hit home hard! You are a amazing person! Thank you for your vulnerability and your beautiful soul! The world is blessed to have you! Thanks for being a voice for us all! Sending you so much love!🥰💕
That is so incredibly sad that the doctors weren’t able to reconsider and listen to her. Good for her for advocating for herself and being so resilient to not give up on treatment.
BPD has so much stigma around it I couldn't even see myself in the reflection. I internalize everything, so the idea of the loud, aggressive BPDer never sounded anything close to familiar. But when Dr. Ramani said something along the lines of "raging against yourself" and it all clicked that maybe I should look into this. It all happens inside my head and from the outside it just looks like I'm hypersensitive
This is definitely me, i was misdiagnosed at age 15 with bipolar and severe PTSD. Even though my manic episodes only lasted hours. I crossed all 9 questions as yeses on my bpd test. Come to find out my mother had the same issue but went undiagnosed until recently and it finally made sense. Life is hard with bpd an severe ptsd but atleast now we know where to focus my attention to manage it better
When they're talking about how you have to interview the psychiatrist/therapist and go try a different one if they're not for you: That's absolutely 100% true but the problem is the fucking healthcare in this country and that we might not necessarily be able to see many different people. Sometimes there's only a few to choose from that are considered "in-coverage" for our brand of insurance. Even with insurance, it can get ridiculously expensive. And then to imagine having no coverage at all? No wonder people can't get the help they need.
I had many years of counseling for ptsd , alcoholism, anxiety, depression. I’d just establish trust with counselor & insurance coverage would end. The insurance company seem to dictate treatment more than the doctors in America since around the time of Obama care or before( sorry, memory problems). . I’ve been on disability for 20 years for depression and immune system issues. Thankful for health insurance but mental health coverage seems less efficient ( more lack of care )and more difficult to obtain . the often months long waiting lists are brutal when you are suffering. . Often available counseling had a copay I simply couldn’t afford. I learned to decline new antidepressants ( tried many older ones after a terrifying experience with Effexor and again with Chan tix .), because we are the long term studies.
Splitting and dissociation are huge. My ex was BPD. At first I thought that she was DID or NPD. While there was some covert narcissism, I ultimately figured out that she was BPD (long story). She refused treatment and was abusive. I loved her, but she ultimately destroyed the relationship. All Cluster B’s gaslight, smear, devalue, mirror, project, discard, lie, blame-shift, deflect, triangulate and make crazy. I have empathy for BPDs who seek help, but you cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves.
What about those of us who are young adults (19 in my case) who can’t afford therapy even if they wanted it? And also don’t have the time or energy for it? I’m used to be a little high/medium functioning when I was 17-18 years old. I’m almost 20 now and I’ve become very low functioning. Even have a “dual diagnosis.” I couldn’t get help even if I wanted to. Now add in a narcissistic abusive father into the mix who doesn’t believe you.
@@gypsy-nr9zd, Good point. You need to get into DBT. If you do not have much income, Medicaid can help (if you are in the right state). A year of weekly DBT individual and group therapy can see up to a 70% improvement. My mother was Narcissistic which made me susceptible to APDs, NPDs and BPDs. I was codependent before understanding it late in life (my 60s). I do recognize that your father is a huge problem (and why). You are young, so there is hope for a bright future for you. Where do you live? I will do some searches and see what resources are available in your area. Having experienced depression myself, I can relate to the low functioning and low energy. It sounds like you need local resources that can help guide you through the process. Available resources depend upon your city and state.
Vampire Slayer I live in New York City. As far as which borough in NYC that I live in, that would be all of them (expect Staten Island or Brooklyn). I get kicked out a lot so one moment I might live in Manhattan, the next I’ll be in the Bronx and then Queens.
Hey VS, if you're up to it I'd love to have a chat. I've recently cut ties with a partner who has BPD and what you wrote really struck a chord with me. Message me on my channel or I can shoot you an email. All the best
Vampire Slayer can you message me on my channel? Also can you respond to the haters and trolls confusing Borderline Personality Disorder with NPD and Narcissism, under the video 2 part of this interview? I’m tired of being a robot telling people to stop spreading hate and stigma and assuming only females get BPD etc.
Her story really resonates with me. I was first prescribed antidepressants at 14yrs old to treat my clinical depression. I wasnt diagnosed BP until I was in my early 20s (wasnt my PCP but her PA and my PCP aggreed with her diagnosing me with BP) and have gone through meds with very unpleasant side effects. I havent seen a therapist since I was in high school. I have used drugs in the past and I do believe I have an undiagnosed eating disorder. As I began to live on my own I believe I have been misdiagnosed. I still am anxious about going back because I feel as though as they do not want to listen and just give me meds. I do want help and be sure about my diagnosis. I have ruined all of my relationships because of my own insecurities and for my angry personality. Self help can only go so far.
My story is quite similar to hers. I ended up in a psych ward at 15 for being self-harming. I was DX'd Bipolar after only 1 hr long session. I, however, had done quite a bit of looking in to my symptoms, and never agreed with my diagnosis. When I raised my concerns with my doctors, I was essentially ignored though. I was put on 3 or 4 medications and when those didn't help, we tried others. I've also been on around 20 or so medications over the years. They never really helped, and after awhile, I was basically blamed for being a 'bad patient' and told I must not want to get better. So I quit everything, just like she did. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before my symptoms progressed beyond my control, and I ended up back in the hospital while I was in college. After rather intense 3 day stay, the doctor mentioned the possibility of BPD, and I finally felt heard after so many years. Even so, finding treatment was difficult, and many doctors don't want to work with BPD patients, or really even know the right ways to help. Last year, I was finally able to get DBT therapy, and for the first time, I actually made and have maintained progress! I'm working again after years of not being able to, and my symptoms are so much more manageable.
I have both plus Severe Anxiety and CPTSD. I'm on medication which really works! The BPD wasn't diagnosed until 4 years after. I take Trileptal and Quetiapine and they work great but something was still wrong so I went to a psychologist who performed diagnostic tests and after, I got the BPD diagnosis. I'll have a CBT counsellor, medication psychiatrist, and now I'm going to see a Psychologist for the 1-3 years intensive DBT therapies to help counter the BPD effects like Black & White thinking, splitting, anti-social problems, and other of the 9 criterion. I've been on disability due to not being able to interact appropriately to bosses, co-workers, and the general public. The CPTSD prevents me from not freaking out around others. I self isolate to keep mentally calm. I get too upset over the littelist of things. I had a horrible childhood of Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual abuse then I had SEVERE anger/ alcoholic dependence, Anxiety medicine for 8 years. I had a string of Narcissistic Bosses who were either agressively pitting co-workers against each other and were crooked/ corrupt and no mtter where I transferred to, it never got any better. Constant trauma and mental abuse took a toll on my mental health and I had a complete psychotic breakdown at 38 and had to be hospitalized in the psych ward 10 days before I got the PTSD and Bi-polar diagnosis. She's TOTALLY right about interviewing YOUR counsellor to see if they work well for you! All this time since 2005 when my mom tried to kill me on Christmas and the PTSD really started, I began going to a counsellor for help. I WAS seeing her for 8 years and it really didn't help so much. More like putting a band aid on my symptons. Even she noticed that I was repeating patterns she couldn't understand. Rather than refer me, she just kept taking my money. It wasn't until after a major full layroscopic hysdyrectomy that my mental self began to really crack under the constant adrenal stress and fatugue. I became suicidal after I realized that no matter what I did, my job situation was just not going to improve. My doctor recognized the signs and told me I was going to have to go to a psychologist for the first time. SHE was a help. The regular marital and family counsellor was ill-equipped to recognize I had more SEVERE conditions. Long story short, I've been through 6 therapists before I found the right counsellor for me. Take care of yourself before more permanent damage occurs when you reach older ages!
Wow! Interesting story. Sorry to hear it. Can I ask how you manage to pay for all those expensive therapies and medications??? (I can’t afford it! With my parents’ health insurance, I have to pay a fee of $20 a session. Fuck that! Lol). Also, I don’t have the time to go to therapy. I think I need to ride this storm out with no jacket. I was diagnosed with BPD, MDD and alcohol use disorder when I was 18. When I was a kid I had severe anxiety too, but not so much anymore. Had a narcissistic dad and a codependent mom who added fuel to the fire. I get by using weed, nicotine and alcohol. I was prescribed lithium (but taken off of it at my request), abilify and trazadone. Tried to get seroquel but the shrink told my grandma I had an addictive personality, so I’m guessing that’s why she didn’t give me a sedative after I tried relentlessly lol. Anyway, I don’t plan on ever going on disability despite being pretty low functioning. Even though I do hide my symptoms pretty well. Except when it comes to alcohol (my first cousin who’s also 19 calls me an alcoholic as an insult all the time), and my grandma tried to get me to go to rehab after the shrinks insisted. I refused. Anyway, if you don’t mind answering that question I asked in the beginning..
@@gypsy-nr9zd right now a lot of therapy is offered virtually through apps like zoom and even FaceTime. Therapy being $20 a session and you going say 3 times a month would be $60. Most people spend that amount on weed every week. Try to look at the money being spent as an investment, don’t waste time with a bad therapist if you aren’t feeling good after the sessions or improving then move onto someone else. You can look on psychology today for a therapist. Good luck!! And remember that labels are for canned peaches not people.
I am BPD and was misdiagnosed Bipolar myself and put on meds. The meds made me feel light headed, made me violent, and my right thigh went completely numb.
Wow how much this feels like I’m listening to myself talking though.. so much like my story. she’s so strong & has such a great attitude ! Keep pushing beautiful 💕
I was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar at the same time. It was decided later that I only had BPD, but they had me on 7 medications in the end at that inpatient. It made me keep having breakdowns.
This series is really excellent. I didn't get diagnosed till I was in my 30's and it was well into therapy before I got my diagnosis. My therapist was amazing and I had started studying for a degree in psychology. When I started studying abnormal psych. I suddenly knew exactly what I had. My therapist confirmed. It's still a huge struggle. I am now 55 and in a different country and feel like I could seriously use more therapy. Hopefully something will work out
My General Practitioner dumped so many drugs into me he made me bi polar, and worse. Damn them. Seriously. I've ended up traumatized as heck, and that is all that is wrong with me. Yep, what she describes is how those drugs made me feel. Overcoming it has been hell. Trusting my feelings has been hard. They had me crawling out of and uncomfortable in my own skin. I've gotten to a place where I don't care anymore what anyone thinks, and it feels good after all of what I've been through. The majority of system does not care. Thank you for stating the truth that they're dumping drugs into us for no reason. They are destroying our lives. For me it turned into 14.5 years of hell. The majority of them are too bad, because they are at least apathetic. No, its NOT our job to manage them because most of the psych drugs have a "side effect" of confusion. That's what I found out, because right out the gate they confused me. Not only did they confuse me, but they changed the way I was thinking, and I began saying weird things. The industry is to blame. I should never have been given drugs. I told the doctor I was depressed and he gave me anxiety drugs. He was a cluck. Lucky for this woman she realized what was going on. That is what happened to me, too. Bi polar stuck with me.
I was never diagnosed with mental illnesses other than Trichotillomania, ADHD, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder prior to my BPD diagnosis, but for over 10 years, they tried so many meds that I lost track. Those included mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics. At a certain point I suspected BPD, but I was afraid that they would think I was just being a hypochondriac, and talked myself out of it. Turns out I probably should've said something. Side note: I also suffer from Trichotillomania (hair pulling BFRB), and I realized that's what it was because of a tiny article in a magazine I was going through during my high school art class for a project. I brought the article to my psychiatrist and told her that I think I have this and why. She'd never heard of it, but was intrigued, so she researched it further. She agreed with me that I had Trichotillomania. That was 16 years ago, and since then, I've seen an EXPLOSION in the awareness of it, and other BFRBs, as well as a recognition of the fact that it is NOT self harm. I've always been very open about it, because I know how alone and "freakish" I felt when I didn't know it was an actual disorder, and if my experience can help one person feel less alone and help them get proper treatment, then it was all worth something.
I was misdiagnosed with a severe bipolar disorder for over a year while taking many meds. It completely created some chemical brain imbalance or damage. I am now seeing as of 04-20-20 a new psychiatrists and he dignosted me with BPD. Mi life has been a nightmare. I am living in so much pain.
I agree, education is so incredibly important. It's why I 100% believe and advocate for teaching psychology in schools. Not just one class. Throughout our school careers we need to be taught and educated. Even if u don't have these problems someone u know might have one of them and it's important to know understand not just the people we love but the people we work with so we can have better relationships with eachother.
i was misdiagnosed with Bipolar One for 7 YEARS. i was put on medication after medication after medication. none of them worked; they only made me worse. like the woman in this video, i gave up on all treatment when i was 19. i felt like i wasn’t being listened to. a little less than a year later i went back into treatment for Anorexia Nervosa. finally with a new team of professionals, i was diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. i’m now receiving the right treatment & working towards a path of healing.
I can completely understand. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder after a 20 minute session (my correct diagnosis is C-PTSD with depression and anxiety) and the doctors refused to listen that the treatment wasn’t working. I also was so incredibly sick on the medication they put me on. I was an absolute wreck nervous. I lost 30 lbs in two months- all of which they used to justify their bipolar diagnosis. Bipolar disorder is not really as common as most people think. Between the attention it gets in the media, the advertisements for bipolar medication on TV, and the lack of awareness and/or stigma of other mental health issues- too many disorders involving mood instability are immediately diagnosed as bipolar. Another reason I think doctors would rather diagnose bipolar - is that there are so many medications for it whereas issues such as borderline, C-PTSD, etc, require much more time and effort from therapists and psychiatrists.
I think they should give most people suspected of bp 1 lower doses of lithium, and if they aren’t somewhat stabilized 2 weeks in, immediately a therapist should start digging into the possibility of other diagnosis. Lit is a beast against actual bp1
Story of the last 20 years of my life. Misdiagnosed, over medicated, complaining that something is wrong and told don't worry about it.. Now I have Tardive Dyskinesia , Anxiety/Panic Disorder and Borderline Personality. You have to be your own advocate.
“I would get so offended by little things that other people normally wouldn’t get… It was like life or death” - holy crap, I’ve been noticing this pattern in myself since like, as long as I can remember. I didn’t even hear of BPD until like 2 years ago, and the stigmatization of it made me neglect learning about it, so I didn’t consider it because I got fed the idea that BPD is all rage, instability in this idea of “hysteria,” and never did any education mention that anger blow ups can be external OR internal, that BPD isn’t the anger, that BPD is a whole nuanced thing that isn’t “crazy.” I got diagnosed with Bipolar in 20 minutes by my psychiatrist. :/. Only a month ago, after years, did he actually take me seriously when I brought up trauma, because I am “young” - started 16, now am 19, and he works with my dad. Hard to confront, but I’m needing to take in that my psychiatrist is not good for me, and honestly not a very good psychiatrist, which I discounted as me just being in trauma responses and black and white views of people, but now its like, okay wow fuck. Also its hard to make the change of who I see because of how many steps it takes, how little I know about getting care, and ADHD, CPTSD, just making executive dysfunction a huge hurdle. I know at least that I want to dedicate part of my life to improving the healthcare dynamics, especially in the psychology realm, at least by being a good enough therapist, teacher, or other sort of guide/helpful person.
Wow this is word for word verbatim what happened to me. I was diagnosed bipolar, my mother had it, I was medicated which made symptoms worse and then I got off meds and things got better for a long time but eventually I realized no something is wrong, it just isn’t bipolar
I learned too online. But my situation has been long term trauma (caused by the drugs.) I'm getting better. Yes, its chaotic being wrongfully drugged. She is incredible. Leaving behind chaos is wonderful.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 1, and when I brought up BPD to my psychiatrist, he told me it's possible that I have both. I struggle with feeling like he doesn't believe me that I have BPD. I believe him that it could be both. The 9 traits video had me in tears because I felt understood.
I'm currently working through something like this and thankfully I am fierce and tenacious because of what I saw my mom go through. Never give up and if you aren't able to be your own advocate, try to find someone in your circle of friends or family who will be there with you. We also have to consider that doctors are human and not immune to unconscious bias so watch out for that and ask questions about their experience with the disorder. I had a bizarre flashback yesterday... Remembering my doctor growing up who refused to take my tonsils out no matter how many times I got sick. Finally when I was 14 and in my first year of high school I went to the school nurse and she was shocked at the state of me. She told me to see a specialist immediately. The last time going to that doctor he reluctantly referred me to an ear, nose and throat specialist and told me that it was a bad idea for me to have my tonsils out because he remembered when he was a kid they took his out on the kitchen table. Seriously it was 1980, I was 14 and had to advocate for myself because my mom was not in the mental condition to do it and believed doctor s were like gods and always right.
Love this.. Its so hard living with BPD. Especially being alone. I know one day if i start treatment and get better, i can have lasting relationships. 💕👏👏👏👏👏
I'm also misdiagnosed as bipolar and they gave me antipsychotics, mood stabilizers antidepressants now man it took some time and energy to figure out I'm borderline NOT BIPOLAR 😢 Now i look back to this era of my life and all I see is disappointment 😔😥
I also have experienced the truth of the fact that the medical community is what i would call "negligent" in their lack of knowledge, understanding and trreatment with these things. If we do our own education, suddenly, we understand and are empowered, but finding professionals to work with is akin to finding the needle in the haysack. My experience. Very hard row to tow.
An ex-friend of mine claimed that therapy didn't helped her. This has resulted in her case being so textbook & only getting worse since she's continually self-medicating with weed/substance abusing to deal with her condition. She also just basically hops from friend or friend group to the next ones. She's also developed narcissistic traits, as I believe she has the petulant type of BPD, & she lets it control her despite saying she's self-aware, which she isn't much. She can self-analyze after something happens & the like, but in the moment, she's not able to discern what's going on & realize it's her BPD. If there's 1 thing I recommend people with BPD, please go to therapy. It's not only hard on you who has it, but also on those you consider friends. Especially when you split on them. Don't live without going to therapy & getting better. Make sure you work with a therapist who's good for you to go to. It'll be very worth it.
TW!! I've been in therapy since I was about 10 but no psychiatrist believed me because "you're too young to be depressed/anxious" at 15 I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD after a suicide attempt. I had also been self harming for years and the psychiatrists still said that "it's normal for your age to feel a little stressed at times". I was so angry so I gave up hope on psychiatrists and doctors because nobody listened and I just knew it was something else than just depression and anxiety because it was so intense that I couldn't control it, like Sammy explained so well. At 18 I decided to try again and met a psychiatrist that actually listened to me and believed that it could be something else and introduced me to yet another psychiatrist that's now gonna see what's with me. I really hope they listen and I've never felt so understood as when I hear Sammy and med circle talk about BPD. I have like 10/9 of those traits.
About 4mo.'s ago I found out that I had been misdiagnosed with Bipolar 2 for over 15yrs. I have BPD. I was relieved, upset, and so sad all at the same time. Relieved because things made more sense. Upset that 5 doctors overlooked my BPD. Sad because the correct diagnosis would have made a huge difference in my life. I was so skeptical about my diagnosis, and did all the research I could and I realized that I had all of the symptoms. I cried for days for longing to have known sooner. Knowledge makes all the difference in the world.
Being a primary care provider, mental health diagnoses are extremely difficult!! There is so much overlap of symptoms and blaming or getting angry with us for not getting it right the first time is shitty. We work so hard and most of us want to get it right. I love how they say “just find a new provider”, like that is so easy. The wait times to see psychiatrists that take insurance are like 6 months minimum! These people must be paying cash and obviously don’t have Medicaid. He is so pompous and judgmental. Grrrr!
Well, I disagree with you. The problem with a lot of psychiatrists is the ego. My daughter's didn't listen to our imput and parents know their children better than the once a month getting. I even gave her a spreadsheet but refused to listen because I'm not a doctor. Pathetic! It's not that hard when. Your given all the info
I got diagnosed bipolar about 13 years ago. Been on one medicine for that entire time, with occasional anti-anxiety meds and anti-depression meds. It’s only recently I started feeling I might be more BPD. My new psychiatrist has updated my diagnosis to bipolar with borderline tendencies, but I’m kind of upset she hasn’t pursued my borderline possibility further, especially since she’s the one who brought it up in the first place during our one hour intake evaluation! Like, any new psych I see always just runs with my OG diagnosis and never tries to be open to maybe it being wrong. It’s bizarre.
Yea my girlfriend of 3 years is Bipolar really high highs and really low lows I'm trying to educate myself as much as I can about having a bipolar disorder. Thanksgiving she told me we should go on a break and that she loved me but wasn't in love with me. we haven't been intimate in months and she admitted to me she has been doing substances you shouldnt be doing I know this is going to me a long journey but we have a 2 year old daughter I just want her to get better for her it's ok if she dont love me anymore just dont let our kid suffer
Many so called therapists, social pedagogue, social worker and psychologists seemed to choose this domain because of their shortcoming or failure. A friend of me who works in that field told me once that sometimes one can't differentiate between a patient and a caretaker. I had a glimps of that notion too, a psychoanalyst who turned out be very strange, bit scary. At the begining I liked to chat with him because of his skills to express in German language on a high level and it was a bit challanging to me. Back to actual topic, I revealed many abuses by those people which remained secret till now. I find out because of strange occurrence lately and in the past. It seemed those so called victims became later also offenders, special sexual misconducts perpetrated by femal caretakers, a taboo topic.
Between insurance companies paying drs to NOT practice medicine and lots of drs wanting to just dispense drugs for easy money people can fall through the cracks right and left. No one wants to talk about the neuro deterioration these meds can cause over many years. Been on meds for bipolar close to 27 years. If I complain that I’m still suffering or have bad side effects the voice changes to suspicion that I just don’t want to take my meds , there’s nothing else to offer since your insurance won’t cover new medications or the co-pay is $300 a month. They would rather keep doing as little as possible and just collect the check. My actual welfare is beside the point. I feel great sympathy for Britney.
I was diagnoses with bipolar 22 years ago and have been taking medication and therapy every sense. I never understood why my emotions would be up and down, suicidal and then fine all within a 24 hours period. that happened for years along with interpersonal problems. I finally got the diagnosis of BPD in 2015 - 15 years after being diagnosed with bipolar. I am now questioning the bipolar diagnosis. with my psychiatrists help, we have been descreasing my bipolar meds over the last year to see how I do. this will be the final test to see if I actually have bipolar disorder.
I am starting to wonder If these drs. Will refuse to say bpd due to the fact there is no Big Pharma money when diagnosed with bpd , there is alot Big Pharma money when diagnosed with bipolar. I was also diagnosed with bi polar and then bpd.
Lol interesting point there. But for me, they’ve known all along that I had BPD, but yet they prescribed me lithium, a mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder. And then abilify, which is an antipsychotic for schizophrenia and mania in bipolar 1. How does this make any sense?? 😂
I agree that that might be part of it. However, I'd like to add that it also might be the fact that BPD is a newer, less clear cut diagnosis than Bipolar disorder and that misdiagnosis are unfortunately common in mental health. For example, many people here and even a few people I know had where they were misdiagnosed as having depression when they in fact had bipolar depression and the pill count for both is pretty much the same either way.
I have been to treatment for depression anxiety and ADHD 5 times. None of them ever asked me to talk about my childhood or my severe child abuse, or not remembering 4 years of my life, surviving an emotional psychological gaslighting and physically abusive relationship with a probable antisocial or narcissistic personality with histrionic traits, or withdrawing from people and having a hard time making friends or with relationships, even though I told them. Nobody mentioned PTSD or anything like that. It’s just “how are you doing?” “what is going on?” “are you here for depression ADHD or anxiety?” Ok here is a prescription. I was basically going there for drugs not therapy.
*Disclaimer im not self diagnosing* I have done a lot of research and I believe that I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar when I actually could have BPD. I went to a mental hospital and an agreement of my discharge papers was immediately finding a psychiatrist. Well I was in the hospital so my mom had to find one, fill out all of MY questionnaires, and set up my appointment. 10 minutes into my first appointment with this psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with Bipolar. I had barely opened up or said anything in depth about my situation, he mostly went off of what my mother wrote down for me. I want to get a new psychiatrist but money and health care is so difficult.
"It's incredible to me that you've managed to live some resemblance of a life." That is a very positive sentence in this context, but I'm going to start using this as a roast.
Dr's are dangerously careless in diagnosing and prescribing psyche drugs. For myself, I had been wrongly diagnosed as bipolar by a Dr who took only one session of chit chat to make his decision about me. And I didn't even fit the criteria besides being an impulsive teenager. But he then prescribed me an antidepressant, an antipsychotic, and anticonvulsant, a mood stabilizer and I'm forgetting the last one but looking back that makes me furious. To just be playing with someone's brain chemistry like it's no biggie.
Yep I Was Diagnosed With Manic Depressive Bipolar Disorder and I Don't Think I Was Ever Bipolar Because Once I Was Diagnosed BPD, NAS and PTSD and Really Dove Deep Into Finding Out What the Differences Are About All My Diagnosis, I Actually Know I Am NOT Bipolar but I Do Have BPD, I Know I Have PTSD Due to To Past Trauma Woth Abuse and Domestic Violence as Well as Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.
My son was misdiagnosed with Rapid ffie bipolar disorder at 2! My dad and my brothers all have bipolar, amd it was explained to me that with each generation it gets worse and hits sooner. What if knew of it, I thought this is what his dad has too. It coming from both sides, it makes sense! Than given severe ADHD at 6 on top of that. My 2 year old was swallowing pills for this.... at 6 all BPD meds stopped my choice they had no affect. ADHD Meds minor help at times so we were always changing doses or types, but minimal gelp so my son at 15 asked to go off them.... we did there wad NO REAL IMPACT taking him off, so we knew then, its not as sever as they said nor does he need meds. , now at 19, his bio dad has finally gotten help and told us he is borderline personality. After learning about it I now see that's what our son has. Thank you for sharing your story!! Keep practicing self love and healing young lady.
I feel like Im the opposite. I was diagnosed with BPD in the Uk. But I have lots of other symptoms that are more prominent in other diagnosis. As apposed to BPD, however that was a diagnosis from 1 psychiatrist. I am currently seeking more Clarence. Its such a difficult area in the UK. If they don’t know what to do with you, its BPD. I know so many people now who get diagnosed under that umbrella.
1st I'm thankful for this channel 2nd I'm thankful to you Ms. Sammi for sharing your story with US. 3rd my story is ironically similar!! From the name to the 1st diagnosis Bp1 To researching while in therapy a Physco therapist at that. To researching mental conditions... self identify take back to therapist And so forth!!! I would love to speak to her thru email messenger... Find out where she is now with her journey.
My psych,said I was B.P. n I got so sick and almost died from the meds. Then 5 yrs.later they found out I had Hep C virus.., And the 2nd thing they said that I wasn't B.P. that my stuff was Historical! The things my family put me through.at age 35, found out that they said,my parents are narcissistic. And I thought that meant I needed to put them on a pedestal. They never told me how deep it went! I finally learned ALL about Narcissistic people,and everything that goes with it at age 60! Wow from age 30 until age 35,were the words Narcissist, and Historical.lol And again at age 60 I finally read, and found out about this thoroughly, Totally mind blowing! I'm now no contact with Parts of my Family,and so called friends,I'm learning to be nonCodependent narc. What a Hell crazy ride! The Hep C will make you feel as though your mental. Oh! Forgot to say I'm Help Free now. Which came from 3 blood transfusions starting at age 5- to 30. Thanks for your Channel and sharing, teaching people about all these things. Healing Hugs,from Pa.
Same- found out i have bpd, cptsd, depression anxiety and ahdh. Never heard of bpd before this year. #2023. I too had figured it all out on my own. Im constantly being prescribed medication that i have adverse effects which then messes me up mentally too because u genuinely don't feel good. I am too self aware and connected and constantly doubted by my facilities. Hectic. Craziness out there. Finally putting pieces together. Geez *sighs" thank goodness I'm not alone. One thing I notice is those of us that have the trauma also had the parent child title or caregiver assignment growing up. Idk maybe too much too soon for us at such a young state in a unstable environment. 🤦♀️
For someone with BPD who struggles with identity and purpose, it’s truly detrimental to be put in mind numbing medications. I feel like I wasted my life.
It seems like this is the same experience with a lot of people myself included. I wish there were more doctors and therapist who were understanding of this and really tried to help people instead if continually telling them to take something that isn't working.
OMG. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar when I was a teenager and experienced the exact same issues! I believe i have BPD now as a 36 year old. I am so scared. I am so worried about myself and I am having such an awful time trying to find a psychiatrist or doctor that will help. It's been nearly two years of begging my doctor.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar at 15yo and they never changed it,,, and while I do tick the boxes for bipolar and having manic episodes,,, I also tick all the boxes for BPD.
I always thought I may have bipolar disorder but now that I been learning more about BPD I have a feeling that’s what I have I made an appointment with my behavioral health specialist I hope I have some more clarity I’m sick of feeling this way and not knowing what’s wrong with me this helped me and gave me some hope 🙏🏼
I was ms diagnosed with bipolar from the age of 13 too 18 when I was 22 got diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder, traits of bi polar , major depression, social axitey , ptsd I’m bout too be 33 so I gave up after all the meds they had me on
Doc says. Bipolar at 23 then drop that and put on bpd as dignoses at 25. Then turn around at 27 and add bp2 and bpd PTSD ADHD. So I really don't even know!!! 🤦😬 My life's a heck of a ride :(
This is exactly why I hate psych doctors benches of this. I've been given multiple diagnosis depending on the doctor. It usually yoyo's between BPD, Bipolar, and schitzo-effective disorder.
Anyone might have a so called "personality disorder" if they had the amount of stressors on their plates plus drug addiction at the same time. That is a HUGE amount of stress. My question is ..I wonder, with humble respect, exactly how "sick" she would feel if she had fewer life stressors.
OK, yes, I agree that you have to get the right psychiatrist and/or therapist, but I live in Canada, and for the last 10 years at least, it is almost impossible to get a psychiatrist. Maybe for six emergency visits, stabalize you on meds, and send you back to your GP (primary physician) to monitor your meds. I struggled my whole life with undiagnosed and untreated anxiety and depression. For 12 years I saw a psychiatrist who said I had "treatment resistant major depressive disorder and anxiety" but i knew there was something else going on. I read and researched, and thought i had either Bipolar 2, or BPD. But because I didn't lash out at people my dr. refused to believe that I might have BPD. (I realized later on that I have "quiet BPD" (I internatlize all the rage and self harm). Finally after I begged for a referral to a major University Mood Disorders Clinic I was able to get a proper diagnosis of BPD. After a two year waitlist, I was able to go for DBT treatment. (although it was a very paired down publicly funded program, that did not help very much. (although it did stop me having suicidal ideation almost every day). I am doing better than I was, but it took me 53 years to get a proper diagnosis, and because of all the trauma and lack of proper mental health care, I have not been able to work for about 20 years. Thank you so much MedCircle for all this incredible educational information. I hope that this helps people find the correct diagnosis and treatment far sooner than I did.
I’m supposed to get tested for BPD. If i get misdiagnosed i’m going to just tell them that a lot of people with BPD and get diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I don’t know if I should ask for a retest or... I don’t know, I just don’t want to go my life misdiagnosed and not treated. Should I mention this before I get tested? I really felt what she said about “i’m not an angry person” and I feel like i should tell the person who tests me this stuff. Like, i don’t want to spend all my time and money on this stuff. Or, my parents too because i’m still a minor.
did you tell them you have similar bpd symptoms ? i’m going to get a diagnosis in a week and i don’t know if i should just say my symptoms and not mention bpd at all or if i should tell them i relate a lot to bpd.
I see myself like in a mirror. Some time misdianosed with a severe depression, and then with bipolar disorder. But it didnt work. One day I was terriibly suicidal and I went to hospital, where y in sisted on staying cause I coud not go back home with that kind of feelings and thoughs. They passed me several tests and I found myself all reflected in those questions. Finally, I discovered my illness.!!! That was the first step of the way, hard way I am walking. I specially remember the horrible feeling of emptiness, and feeling veeery old when I was just 21. Sorry about my english. I am spanish.
A woman I'm seeing is diagnosed with Bipolar, but thanks to some insight from a friend of mine, is likely misdiagnosed and rather has BPD. She's in therapy and also had a support group for abuse survivors until COVID came about. I've been debating within myself whether there's a way I can possibly tell her or not, but I don't feasibly see it without her then villainizing me afterward...
I won’t lie I feel a LOT like this and considered DID over BPD. I’m not always irrational or angry it’s much more like different states and triggers. If BPD acknowledged alters or aspects or alternate identities , I feel like this would fit a lot more people rather than DID.
So over a year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder by my mental health provider. I'm now seeing someone else and she believes I was misdiagnosed and that I actually have BPD. It's not 100% It sucks not knowing which it is
i'm 17 now when i was 16 i tried to see someone to diagnose me (a psychiatrist) so i went to the hospital and the psychiatrist made me talk to a nurse about stuff that i was dealing with and she went and told him. i only had a 20 min conversation with him. he said i was cluster b (boderline if apart of cluster b but he said he didnt want to diagnose me). i knew i was borderline i can just tell. i know myself really well just like the girl in the video. he ended up saying something about a mood distorter and bipolar but i said 100s of time it wasn't bipolar. no one listened to me and i was out of the loop. no one asked me questions and they picked and chose what symptoms they wanted to say i had. like depression when i was only depressed when i was younger. i have bpd and it's so obvious yet no one listens to me (and yes i feel abandoned). i have 9/9 of the criteria of borderline
Diagnosed with Bipolar2. Try this med, try that med.. I think I probably have BPD more so than BD, but who knows. I stopped the meds, the appointments, and all that for a few months. Was fine until last month. No clue what triggered but man!! Self loathing, suicidal ideations/fantasies, crying for no reason everyday, waking up just totally raging inside... ughh Ive used weed since I was 12, and thats even turning on me now. Appt with doctor next week. 🤷♂️
Wow 😳 she is so beautiful she’s perfect in every way. ♥️ I have bipolar as well I have anger and depression sucks because I go in this dark place and I forget about the world I live in and I push my loved ones aside for days With them trying to figure what’s wrong with me and I don’t speak within days to anybody it’s hard for me to sometimes wake up and get out of bed as I got older it got worse I try to not take any medication and try to be completely normal Very hard for me I understand ya.
The same thing with my daughter. This particular psychiatrist wanted to see her alone and My daughter seemed OK with it. 5 minutes later she comes flying out the door and tears.. The psychiatrist was asking her why she had half her head shaved and her hair dyed and piercings. We went there to get our meds changed because she was diagnosed at 1st With dysthimia. Later diagnosed with MDD. After she came out the door I went in and confronted the doctor and told her that from my observation this is more Psychotic and I wanted her put on serequal XR50 milligrams which surprisingly she did. Later she saw somebody else who diagnosed her with BPD and also by bipolar. Personally I don't believe she is bipolar.. She suffers a great deal still and it just rips me apart inside. I don't know how these doctors can diagnose somebody in 45 damn minutes. There's so much wrong with the psychiatric care system especially specially public
i’m diagnosed with bipolar and it just doesn’t feel right. i experience most of the symptoms of bpd but when i asked about it my drs said they don’t think i have it and feel like they wouldn’t hear me out
BPD vs cptsd? In my opinion not easy for anyone to unpick, no matter what the MH professionals qualifications are, what uni they teach at or how successful their private practice is. Most still too stuck in the catagorigal medical model. Top respect to this survivor of trauma, life, and the MH system
Over medicating has been a problem for friends of mine and probably why they wouldn't or couldn't stay on their meds. I have taken my meds since they were first prescribed for me but I was also lucky since my doctors also noticed that the meds have a more pronounced effect on me than on most other patients. I have been seeing links for Medcircle videos a lot. I had to come to their page because most of what I've been seeing as how bad people with BPD or other disorders can be and how to recognize them. I was even feeling like crap about it because I would watch parts of the videos to see what they were about and the points of view but I was only seeing people talking about how to spot people like me but not anything about how people like me can seek treatment or get help. I'm sure it's the Google algorithms and that is really starting to annoy the heck out of me. I look up videos related to my disorder and then I get links to how terrible people like me are. I am so glad that Medcircle isn't actually like that.
![Bipolar Disorder vs Borderline Personality Disorder [Differences & How to Spot Them]](/img/n.gif)
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Everything she is sayin is a description of my life. I know the diagnosis bipolar with psychotic tendencies n suicidal ideation n anxiety n panic disorder, but I know they're missing a diagnosis. I looked up bpd n it was a list of me to a t. I'm not diagnosed with bpd yet n need help, but I'm having trouble finding help n overwhelmed
Jayna Marie Arsenault The Certifiable One this is exactly how I feel and never once has any of my doctors ever mentions bpd
This is VERY unfortunately STILL my life. I have been misdiagnosed multiple times since my preteen years. I'm now 37 and still facing the same struggle. I keep having to go through changing diagnoses and comorbid conditions along with different medications to match them each time. She is absolutely right. As I keep trying to communicate and not getting anywhere but worse as years go by, I can't help but to feel more and more like a lost cause as NO one understands just how much of a prisoner to myself AND society I feel everyday. The Mental health field is very disappointing to say THE LEAST. Over my decades of seeking treatment, I've been let down OVER and OVER. I've even had some professionals give up and refer me to other professionals with hope that someone else could do better figuring out how to diagnose and treat me. Here I am present day with another Doctor because my last Doctor felt I needed to see someone else. Same story, different day. I finally decided to ask questions about my diagnosis again as the all the new medicines were just like all the others and it seemed like he wasn't listening to properly make sure I was being given the right medications! Medications I've always been given either were not helping me get better, making me feel like I was a robot going through the motions and not actually living, making me have really serious mental side effects, making me sick or making me unable to properly function to complete daily living tasks. I asked him exactly what are my diagnoses and possible comorbid conditions "now" that I'm being treated for (I knew like many other times, they change and unless I ask or get copies to inquire). His first sentence was to let me know that diagnoses aren't important and tried to reassure me that he was properly treating me for what "he" sees when we have our appointments. My heart instantly dropped AGAIN. I had been seeing him for a year at this point and we still had NEVER had ANY appointments lasting more that 10 to maybe 15 minutes (with appointments spread between one and two months apart). My close family members have even asked to go because they started to really worry again and wanted to try to express their concerns (of course with no successes as they would even question how I can relay what's going on with me when they can't relay what I go through in such short period of time). This part of healthcare has been extremely difficult for me. I say all this to say there are MANY flaws to getting the treatment you need and a LOT of people that live and die in suffering because of it. Suicide isn't always what people think. To many, it's a cowardly act but for those who have committed such an act against their life could've been being very brave the whole time they were secretly fighting for their life everyday that they lived. At some point, you wonder and feel like your decision to continue living and enduring is for the ones you love and not yourself...
Yep. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar over 8 years ago. Currently tapering off my mood stabilizer. Waiting to get into a DBT program. Scheduled for the BPD testing during my next therapy visiting. I'm 90% sure I'll pass, since I know I have CPTSD (self-diagnosed) and they are so closely related.
Sammy is remarkable. I've been a mess since 2006. Probably because of the BPD, severe depression, and long term SSRI use. Everyone has to fight their own fight.
@@anniebrassell5343 - I hope you are doing better, Annie. You really do have to be your own advocate. I know it's hard. I was a damn zombie, but I knew something was wrong. I remembered who I was, how I used to think, how sharp my brain was, so.... I started researching. It is very surprising what you'll find when you do.
You can diagnose yourself by following your symptoms for a few weeks and checking out the list of illnesses in the DSM 5. You can Google what you are looking for"DSM 5 bipolar symptoms" or "DSM 5 depression symptoms." Find something that fits. Go to a doctor you like and see what they say.
You can also check online if any of your symptoms may be side-effects from medication. ALL psych medications have long lists of side-effects. Insomnia is a common one, for example. There are also websites where people rate their personal experience with medications and what they took them for. I like those. Stopped me from taking some meds. If you don't think your meds are helping - talk to your doctor about it!
What you may benefit from is case management. That is basically when your therapist and shrink work together to manage your mental health. I'm going to Easter Seals, and that is what they do. Any therapist may be willing to do that, if they are familiar with the process, and competent in doing so. That way the therapist, who sees you a lot more, does the diagnosis, and the shrink orders the appropriate meds. I don't trust someone who has seen me for 10 or 15 minutes to throw meds at me. You are right. I've been to Easter Seals and another nonprofit and they both had case management.
The most important thing is that YOU feel comfortable with your diagnosis/diagnoses and are improving or are moving towards the goal of improving. If you aren't, keep pushing until you do. I understand dealing with the health system is a constant battle, especially when you feel like you are doing all the work.
If you need support from someone who understands, I've been at this a very long time. I'd be happy to be there for you. My email is lmanville77 @ outlook.com
Thank you so much for having me!❤️
Hi. Thanks for the helpful video. I have a question. If bipolar was a wrong diagnosis, why do you use bipolar medication (lamictal)? Does it also prescribed for bpd? Thanks.
They put me on two strong medications and discharged me. I was so sick too. It was horrible. I had to get off them myself, it took me two years. Pure hell. All I have is CPTSD. :( Horrible :(
Wow. You're telling my story. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you x
Thank you so much
I have BPD but I went through 50 years of “bipolar”misdiagnosis by DRS. explaining it was “bipolar mixed state” which made me accept that I MUST HAVE BEEN WRONG WHEN I insisted that I didn’t have bipolar lengthy mood swings . I was treated as bipolar almost my whole life until I searched and researched and figured it out myself. I’m now 71, in a nursing home, and all I can do now is look back on a lifetime of unhappiness, blame, bad behavior, and a whole lot of horrors that I can now see as part of BPD, not bipolar. But it’s too late for a Mulligan.
Im sorry to hear this, i went through the same but im finally diagnosed properly at age 30. My mother went until age 54 before finding out for sure an findin that all four of us kids have it. Mines just worse mixed with severe ptsd
Dats saddening at I at least hope God gives you eternal peace in heaven if not well what was the point of people struggling with mental illness Dey whole life God bless you ma’am I feel ya pain seriously smfh💯👌🙏
💌& 🙏
I'm so sorry you went through this. Mental health has been pushed to the back burner for so long and it sounds like you suffered for that. I hope you can small pockets of contentment in your life. Good luck my friend. It's never too late.
I'm glad you found out. I'm very sorry these therapists and psychiatrists failed you. Hugs from one BPD person to another ❤🫂 🙏
I was misdiagnosed with 'treatment resistant depression' for 2 decades. Told I had to stay on antidepressants for life. Turns out I have bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD. Antidepressants trigger mania for me.
Damn that's fucked up. I've had some weird episodes since starting my antidepressants, but I don't know for sure if they're to blame... In general I think they made me more social and relaxed, but now I sleep 13 hours at night and I don't really notice the passing of days. I guess normally my anxiety would kinda get me moving, but now I feel kinda frozen even though I still get anxiety, but it manifests differently.
The episodes were I would barely sleep and eat alot but lose weight and I would like hop around and act like a child and I thought I had alot of energy and courage, but I was just acting really weird. Then at one point I just collapsed and started hysterically crying, which had happened before, but this time it was in public and I couldn't get up and an ambulance was called, because they thought I broke my leg, but then the doctor thought I had a psychotic break, but I was still aware I just couldn't speak or move or stop crying....
I was diagnosed with depression and autism, but I think I might have bipolar disorder. Does any of this sound familiar?
@@amidreaming333 when I had extreme crying episodes was usually PTSD for me which was worse in mood episodes with bipolar. People keep asking if I'm autistic all the time. I have traits
@@BipolarCourage I can take 1 or 2 low doses of ssri and immediately not sleep, and start some grandiose project. The BP is very evident, snd, I sympathize.
What I wonder is.. what about ptsd.
What are the most defining, or surefire symptoms of ptsd?
@@sebastianbillings7807 PTSD requires a medically defined trauma. Symptoms can include low mood, flashbacks, avoidance of anything linked to the trauma, dissociation, irritability etc etc. Can set off the bipolar & vice versa.
It’s funny, it’s your job to find the help you need. You’re sick, what normally happens is that the patient is unable to discern what they need and they go through life without the help... this field is so inept... people need professionals that are truly educated but unfortunately that is just not what is happening. I think a lot of people who are not able to self advocate are lost... they die.. just imagine you need your appendix removed but the doctor doesn’t do it until you tell them exactly what to do.... crazy
I'm a psychologist, but I don't practice traditionally for the reason it's driven by the pharmaceutical industry.
The Dr. Makes money from prescribing meds.
But the same is true in the medical society. Medical "mistakes" are the 3rd cause of death in the medical system.
I don't think Borderline even exists as defined by the DSM-5.
Many people have overlapping symptoms. And co-morbid conditions. She sounds Bi-Polar.
The drug use complicates things & is a coping mechanism for pain.
Pain underlies every disorder, but the drugs make it more difficult to diagnose.
The definitions are made for Drs & INSURANCE companies.
This is true of the Psych & medical community. They are both driven by Big Pharma.
I have enough horror stories to fill a book about medical misdiagnosis's & people nearly dying, including myself.
All people with any self-awareness can diagnose themselves better than a Dr., be it medical or Psych.
She might have co-morbid conditions.
BPD is in Cluster B with NPD, sociopath, & psychopath....the marker being NO EMPATHY.
She clearly has empathy & insight, 2 things not present in Cluster B Personality Disorders. Self-harming is BPD, not present in any other Cluster B disorder.
I think the way BPD is defined makes 90% of people with or without it misdiagnosed.
Peace&love❤❤✌✌
Very well stated. Exactly. But most of them are careless jerks. Thank you.
@@gymnast2890 bpd is not defined at all as having no empathy. Npd isn't completely either. It's not that black and white. With bpd it's more like you tend to lack empathy WHEN you are triggered and have the typical bpd meltdown. It's only situational. We generally feel very deeply and CAN also emphasize very strongly and be insightful obviously.
I've learned that BPD are kinda the opposite of NPB because they have empathy. What they have in common is being manipulative but for different reasons
BPD kind of has an empathy paradox actually. Because at times, the individual with BPD can be extremely empathetic but at other times completely lack that empathy. I believe I saw a youtube video explaining this or read a psych study on it.
I actually have bipolar and they tried to diagnosis me with bpd when I was like 100% sure I didn’t have it
It's hard because they are trying to repress your bipolar and at the same time they are repressing grunge. I mean what will they let us have?
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder at 13, which, in retrospect, seemed waaaaay to early to be diagnosing me with anything. I was also a victim of malpractice and put on 8 very high dosage antipsychotics and antidepressants, along with ritalin, because adhd tends to be co-morbid with bipolar. My psych literally said, "You dont fit the criteria for adhd, but I'm going to diagnose you anyway." This went on for four years. I was actually the person to find bpd and read about it and brought it to my new psych. Lord knows how much brain development was stunted in me from being over medicated.
I really appreciate Sammy sharing her journey and she is so strong and smart and kind to share her story in order to help others. I just wanted to clarify from my Bipolar experience that not all low or high Bipolar episodes manifest in anger. I myself have never been aggressive. I am sure that there are also others like me in a similar experience. I just wanted to share this to set straight the stigma that people with Bipolar go from happy to angry. For me I go from super excited and grandiose which can lead to delusions and I just feel that life is sunshine and rainbows. My low is me not being able to take care of myself in the least and having suicidal ideation. Everyone is different and I don't feel people should use anger as a key descriptor. Sorry this is just something I have always felt strongly about so I wanted to put it out there
I love her, she’s my favorite youtuber!!! I found her about a year ago and I’ve been watching her daily since. I’m happy she’s on your channel! You’re one of my favorite channels too.💕💕
Priscilla R thank you so much girl!❤️❤️❤️
SamFam here.. these videos hit home hard! You are a amazing person! Thank you for your vulnerability and your beautiful soul! The world is blessed to have you! Thanks for being a voice for us all! Sending you so much love!🥰💕
That is so incredibly sad that the doctors weren’t able to reconsider and listen to her. Good for her for advocating for herself and being so resilient to not give up on treatment.
BPD has so much stigma around it I couldn't even see myself in the reflection. I internalize everything, so the idea of the loud, aggressive BPDer never sounded anything close to familiar. But when Dr. Ramani said something along the lines of "raging against yourself" and it all clicked that maybe I should look into this. It all happens inside my head and from the outside it just looks like I'm hypersensitive
This is definitely me, i was misdiagnosed at age 15 with bipolar and severe PTSD. Even though my manic episodes only lasted hours. I crossed all 9 questions as yeses on my bpd test. Come to find out my mother had the same issue but went undiagnosed until recently and it finally made sense. Life is hard with bpd an severe ptsd but atleast now we know where to focus my attention to manage it better
When they're talking about how you have to interview the psychiatrist/therapist and go try a different one if they're not for you: That's absolutely 100% true but the problem is the fucking healthcare in this country and that we might not necessarily be able to see many different people. Sometimes there's only a few to choose from that are considered "in-coverage" for our brand of insurance. Even with insurance, it can get ridiculously expensive. And then to imagine having no coverage at all? No wonder people can't get the help they need.
I had many years of counseling for ptsd , alcoholism, anxiety, depression. I’d just establish trust with counselor & insurance coverage would end.
The insurance company seem to dictate treatment more than the doctors in America since around the time of Obama care or before( sorry, memory problems). . I’ve been on disability for 20 years for depression and immune system issues. Thankful for health insurance but mental health coverage seems less efficient ( more lack of care )and more difficult to obtain . the often months long waiting lists are brutal when you are suffering. . Often available counseling had a copay I simply couldn’t afford. I learned to decline new antidepressants ( tried many older ones after a terrifying experience with Effexor and again with Chan tix .), because we are the long term studies.
Splitting and dissociation are huge. My ex was BPD. At first I thought that she was DID or NPD. While there was some covert narcissism, I ultimately figured out that she was BPD (long story). She refused treatment and was abusive. I loved her, but she ultimately destroyed the relationship. All Cluster B’s gaslight, smear, devalue, mirror, project, discard, lie, blame-shift, deflect, triangulate and make crazy.
I have empathy for BPDs who seek help, but you cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves.
What about those of us who are young adults (19 in my case) who can’t afford therapy even if they wanted it? And also don’t have the time or energy for it? I’m used to be a little high/medium functioning when I was 17-18 years old. I’m almost 20 now and I’ve become very low functioning. Even have a “dual diagnosis.” I couldn’t get help even if I wanted to. Now add in a narcissistic abusive father into the mix who doesn’t believe you.
@@gypsy-nr9zd, Good point. You need to get into DBT. If you do not have much income, Medicaid can help (if you are in the right state). A year of weekly DBT individual and group therapy can see up to a 70% improvement.
My mother was Narcissistic which made me susceptible to APDs, NPDs and BPDs. I was codependent before understanding it late in life (my 60s). I do recognize that your father is a huge problem (and why).
You are young, so there is hope for a bright future for you.
Where do you live? I will do some searches and see what resources are available in your area.
Having experienced depression myself, I can relate to the low functioning and low energy. It sounds like you need local resources that can help guide you through the process. Available resources depend upon your city and state.
Vampire Slayer I live in New York City. As far as which borough in NYC that I live in, that would be all of them (expect Staten Island or Brooklyn). I get kicked out a lot so one moment I might live in Manhattan, the next I’ll be in the Bronx and then Queens.
Hey VS, if you're up to it I'd love to have a chat. I've recently cut ties with a partner who has BPD and what you wrote really struck a chord with me. Message me on my channel or I can shoot you an email. All the best
Vampire Slayer can you message me on my channel? Also can you respond to the haters and trolls confusing Borderline Personality Disorder with NPD and Narcissism, under the video 2 part of this interview? I’m tired of being a robot telling people to stop spreading hate and stigma and assuming only females get BPD etc.
Her story really resonates with me. I was first prescribed antidepressants at 14yrs old to treat my clinical depression. I wasnt diagnosed BP until I was in my early 20s (wasnt my PCP but her PA and my PCP aggreed with her diagnosing me with BP) and have gone through meds with very unpleasant side effects. I havent seen a therapist since I was in high school. I have used drugs in the past and I do believe I have an undiagnosed eating disorder. As I began to live on my own I believe I have been misdiagnosed. I still am anxious about going back because I feel as though as they do not want to listen and just give me meds. I do want help and be sure about my diagnosis. I have ruined all of my relationships because of my own insecurities and for my angry personality. Self help can only go so far.
My story is quite similar to hers. I ended up in a psych ward at 15 for being self-harming. I was DX'd Bipolar after only 1 hr long session. I, however, had done quite a bit of looking in to my symptoms, and never agreed with my diagnosis. When I raised my concerns with my doctors, I was essentially ignored though. I was put on 3 or 4 medications and when those didn't help, we tried others. I've also been on around 20 or so medications over the years. They never really helped, and after awhile, I was basically blamed for being a 'bad patient' and told I must not want to get better. So I quit everything, just like she did.
Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before my symptoms progressed beyond my control, and I ended up back in the hospital while I was in college. After rather intense 3 day stay, the doctor mentioned the possibility of BPD, and I finally felt heard after so many years.
Even so, finding treatment was difficult, and many doctors don't want to work with BPD patients, or really even know the right ways to help. Last year, I was finally able to get DBT therapy, and for the first time, I actually made and have maintained progress! I'm working again after years of not being able to, and my symptoms are so much more manageable.
I have both plus Severe Anxiety and CPTSD. I'm on medication which really works! The BPD wasn't diagnosed until 4 years after. I take Trileptal and Quetiapine and they work great but something was still wrong so I went to a psychologist who performed diagnostic tests and after, I got the BPD diagnosis. I'll have a CBT counsellor, medication psychiatrist, and now I'm going to see a Psychologist for the 1-3 years intensive DBT therapies to help counter the BPD effects like Black & White thinking, splitting, anti-social problems, and other of the 9 criterion. I've been on disability due to not being able to interact appropriately to bosses, co-workers, and the general public. The CPTSD prevents me from not freaking out around others. I self isolate to keep mentally calm. I get too upset over the littelist of things. I had a horrible childhood of Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual abuse then I had SEVERE anger/ alcoholic dependence, Anxiety medicine for 8 years. I had a string of Narcissistic Bosses who were either agressively pitting co-workers against each other and were crooked/ corrupt and no mtter where I transferred to, it never got any better. Constant trauma and mental abuse took a toll on my mental health and I had a complete psychotic breakdown at 38 and had to be hospitalized in the psych ward 10 days before I got the PTSD and Bi-polar diagnosis. She's TOTALLY right about interviewing YOUR counsellor to see if they work well for you! All this time since 2005 when my mom tried to kill me on Christmas and the PTSD really started, I began going to a counsellor for help. I WAS seeing her for 8 years and it really didn't help so much. More like putting a band aid on my symptons. Even she noticed that I was repeating patterns she couldn't understand. Rather than refer me, she just kept taking my money. It wasn't until after a major full layroscopic hysdyrectomy that my mental self began to really crack under the constant adrenal stress and fatugue. I became suicidal after I realized that no matter what I did, my job situation was just not going to improve. My doctor recognized the signs and told me I was going to have to go to a psychologist for the first time. SHE was a help. The regular marital and family counsellor was ill-equipped to recognize I had more SEVERE conditions. Long story short, I've been through 6 therapists before I found the right counsellor for me. Take care of yourself before more permanent damage occurs when you reach older ages!
Wow! Interesting story. Sorry to hear it. Can I ask how you manage to pay for all those expensive therapies and medications??? (I can’t afford it! With my parents’ health insurance, I have to pay a fee of $20 a session. Fuck that! Lol). Also, I don’t have the time to go to therapy. I think I need to ride this storm out with no jacket. I was diagnosed with BPD, MDD and alcohol use disorder when I was 18. When I was a kid I had severe anxiety too, but not so much anymore. Had a narcissistic dad and a codependent mom who added fuel to the fire. I get by using weed, nicotine and alcohol. I was prescribed lithium (but taken off of it at my request), abilify and trazadone. Tried to get seroquel but the shrink told my grandma I had an addictive personality, so I’m guessing that’s why she didn’t give me a sedative after I tried relentlessly lol. Anyway, I don’t plan on ever going on disability despite being pretty low functioning. Even though I do hide my symptoms pretty well. Except when it comes to alcohol (my first cousin who’s also 19 calls me an alcoholic as an insult all the time), and my grandma tried to get me to go to rehab after the shrinks insisted. I refused. Anyway, if you don’t mind answering that question I asked in the beginning..
Sounds expensive
@@gypsy-nr9zd right now a lot of therapy is offered virtually through apps like zoom and even FaceTime. Therapy being $20 a session and you going say 3 times a month would be $60. Most people spend that amount on weed every week. Try to look at the money being spent as an investment, don’t waste time with a bad therapist if you aren’t feeling good after the sessions or improving then move onto someone else. You can look on psychology today for a therapist. Good luck!! And remember that labels are for canned peaches not people.
I am BPD and was misdiagnosed Bipolar myself and put on meds. The meds made me feel light headed, made me violent, and my right thigh went completely numb.
YUP!!!
Wow how much this feels like I’m listening to myself talking though.. so much like my story. she’s so strong & has such a great attitude ! Keep pushing beautiful 💕
I was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar at the same time. It was decided later that I only had BPD, but they had me on 7 medications in the end at that inpatient. It made me keep having breakdowns.
This series is really excellent. I didn't get diagnosed till I was in my 30's and it was well into therapy before I got my diagnosis. My therapist was amazing and I had started studying for a degree in psychology. When I started studying abnormal psych. I suddenly knew exactly what I had. My therapist confirmed. It's still a huge struggle. I am now 55 and in a different country and feel like I could seriously use more therapy. Hopefully something will work out
My General Practitioner dumped so many drugs into me he made me bi polar, and worse. Damn them. Seriously. I've ended up traumatized as heck, and that is all that is wrong with me. Yep, what she describes is how those drugs made me feel. Overcoming it has been hell. Trusting my feelings has been hard. They had me crawling out of and uncomfortable in my own skin. I've gotten to a place where I don't care anymore what anyone thinks, and it feels good after all of what I've been through. The majority of system does not care. Thank you for stating the truth that they're dumping drugs into us for no reason. They are destroying our lives. For me it turned into 14.5 years of hell. The majority of them are too bad, because they are at least apathetic. No, its NOT our job to manage them because most of the psych drugs have a "side effect" of confusion. That's what I found out, because right out the gate they confused me. Not only did they confuse me, but they changed the way I was thinking, and I began saying weird things. The industry is to blame. I should never have been given drugs. I told the doctor I was depressed and he gave me anxiety drugs. He was a cluck. Lucky for this woman she realized what was going on. That is what happened to me, too. Bi polar stuck with me.
I was never diagnosed with mental illnesses other than Trichotillomania, ADHD, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder prior to my BPD diagnosis, but for over 10 years, they tried so many meds that I lost track. Those included mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics. At a certain point I suspected BPD, but I was afraid that they would think I was just being a hypochondriac, and talked myself out of it. Turns out I probably should've said something.
Side note: I also suffer from Trichotillomania (hair pulling BFRB), and I realized that's what it was because of a tiny article in a magazine I was going through during my high school art class for a project. I brought the article to my psychiatrist and told her that I think I have this and why. She'd never heard of it, but was intrigued, so she researched it further. She agreed with me that I had Trichotillomania. That was 16 years ago, and since then, I've seen an EXPLOSION in the awareness of it, and other BFRBs, as well as a recognition of the fact that it is NOT self harm. I've always been very open about it, because I know how alone and "freakish" I felt when I didn't know it was an actual disorder, and if my experience can help one person feel less alone and help them get proper treatment, then it was all worth something.
I was misdiagnosed with a severe bipolar disorder for over a year while taking many meds. It completely created some chemical brain imbalance or damage. I am now seeing as of 04-20-20 a new psychiatrists and he dignosted me with BPD. Mi life has been a nightmare. I am living in so much pain.
I agree, education is so incredibly important. It's why I 100% believe and advocate for teaching psychology in schools. Not just one class. Throughout our school careers we need to be taught and educated. Even if u don't have these problems someone u know might have one of them and it's important to know understand not just the people we love but the people we work with so we can have better relationships with eachother.
i was misdiagnosed with Bipolar One for 7 YEARS. i was put on medication after medication after medication. none of them worked; they only made me worse. like the woman in this video, i gave up on all treatment when i was 19. i felt like i wasn’t being listened to. a little less than a year later i went back into treatment for Anorexia Nervosa. finally with a new team of professionals, i was diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. i’m now receiving the right treatment & working towards a path of healing.
Listening to her is literally making me want to cry 😭😭😭 relating hard
Same. 🙏🏻
I can completely understand. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder after a 20 minute session (my correct diagnosis is C-PTSD with depression and anxiety) and the doctors refused to listen that the treatment wasn’t working.
I also was so incredibly sick on the medication they put me on. I was an absolute wreck nervous. I lost 30 lbs in two months- all of which they used to justify their bipolar diagnosis.
Bipolar disorder is not really as common as most people think. Between the attention it gets in the media, the advertisements for bipolar medication on TV, and the lack of awareness and/or stigma of other mental health issues- too many disorders involving mood instability are immediately diagnosed as bipolar.
Another reason I think doctors would rather diagnose bipolar - is that there are so many medications for it whereas issues such as borderline, C-PTSD, etc, require much more time and effort from therapists and psychiatrists.
I think they should give most people suspected of bp 1 lower doses of lithium, and if they aren’t somewhat stabilized 2 weeks in, immediately a therapist should start digging into the possibility of other diagnosis.
Lit is a beast against actual bp1
Story of the last 20 years of my life. Misdiagnosed, over medicated, complaining that something is wrong and told don't worry about it.. Now I have Tardive Dyskinesia , Anxiety/Panic Disorder and Borderline Personality. You have to be your own advocate.
“I would get so offended by little things that other people normally wouldn’t get… It was like life or death” - holy crap, I’ve been noticing this pattern in myself since like, as long as I can remember. I didn’t even hear of BPD until like 2 years ago, and the stigmatization of it made me neglect learning about it, so I didn’t consider it because I got fed the idea that BPD is all rage, instability in this idea of “hysteria,” and never did any education mention that anger blow ups can be external OR internal, that BPD isn’t the anger, that BPD is a whole nuanced thing that isn’t “crazy.” I got diagnosed with Bipolar in 20 minutes by my psychiatrist. :/. Only a month ago, after years, did he actually take me seriously when I brought up trauma, because I am “young” - started 16, now am 19, and he works with my dad. Hard to confront, but I’m needing to take in that my psychiatrist is not good for me, and honestly not a very good psychiatrist, which I discounted as me just being in trauma responses and black and white views of people, but now its like, okay wow fuck. Also its hard to make the change of who I see because of how many steps it takes, how little I know about getting care, and ADHD, CPTSD, just making executive dysfunction a huge hurdle. I know at least that I want to dedicate part of my life to improving the healthcare dynamics, especially in the psychology realm, at least by being a good enough therapist, teacher, or other sort of guide/helpful person.
Wow this is word for word verbatim what happened to me. I was diagnosed bipolar, my mother had it, I was medicated which made symptoms worse and then I got off meds and things got better for a long time but eventually I realized no something is wrong, it just isn’t bipolar
I learned too online. But my situation has been long term trauma (caused by the drugs.) I'm getting better. Yes, its chaotic being wrongfully drugged. She is incredible. Leaving behind chaos is wonderful.
Good to see there aren’t any trolls and bullies and sexists comments in this section. For video two there was so much hate
I was diagnosed with bipolar 1, and when I brought up BPD to my psychiatrist, he told me it's possible that I have both. I struggle with feeling like he doesn't believe me that I have BPD. I believe him that it could be both. The 9 traits video had me in tears because I felt understood.
I'm currently working through something like this and thankfully I am fierce and tenacious because of what I saw my mom go through. Never give up and if you aren't able to be your own advocate, try to find someone in your circle of friends or family who will be there with you.
We also have to consider that doctors are human and not immune to unconscious bias so watch out for that and ask questions about their experience with the disorder.
I had a bizarre flashback yesterday... Remembering my doctor growing up who refused to take my tonsils out no matter how many times I got sick. Finally when I was 14 and in my first year of high school I went to the school nurse and she was shocked at the state of me. She told me to see a specialist immediately. The last time going to that doctor he reluctantly referred me to an ear, nose and throat specialist and told me that it was a bad idea for me to have my tonsils out because he remembered when he was a kid they took his out on the kitchen table. Seriously it was 1980, I was 14 and had to advocate for myself because my mom was not in the mental condition to do it and believed doctor s were like gods and always right.
Love this.. Its so hard living with BPD. Especially being alone. I know one day if i start treatment and get better, i can have lasting relationships. 💕👏👏👏👏👏
I'm also misdiagnosed as bipolar and they gave me antipsychotics, mood stabilizers antidepressants now man it took some time and energy to figure out I'm borderline NOT BIPOLAR 😢 Now i look back to this era of my life and all I see is disappointment 😔😥
I also have experienced the truth of the fact that the medical community is what i would call "negligent" in their lack of knowledge, understanding and trreatment with these things. If we do our own education, suddenly, we understand and are empowered, but finding professionals to work with is akin to finding the needle in the haysack. My experience. Very hard row to tow.
An ex-friend of mine claimed that therapy didn't helped her. This has resulted in her case being so textbook & only getting worse since she's continually self-medicating with weed/substance abusing to deal with her condition. She also just basically hops from friend or friend group to the next ones. She's also developed narcissistic traits, as I believe she has the petulant type of BPD, & she lets it control her despite saying she's self-aware, which she isn't much. She can self-analyze after something happens & the like, but in the moment, she's not able to discern what's going on & realize it's her BPD.
If there's 1 thing I recommend people with BPD, please go to therapy. It's not only hard on you who has it, but also on those you consider friends. Especially when you split on them. Don't live without going to therapy & getting better. Make sure you work with a therapist who's good for you to go to. It'll be very worth it.
What are good questions to ask when interviewing a psychiatrist or psychologist?
+
TW!!
I've been in therapy since I was about 10 but no psychiatrist believed me because "you're too young to be depressed/anxious" at 15 I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD after a suicide attempt. I had also been self harming for years and the psychiatrists still said that "it's normal for your age to feel a little stressed at times". I was so angry so I gave up hope on psychiatrists and doctors because nobody listened and I just knew it was something else than just depression and anxiety because it was so intense that I couldn't control it, like Sammy explained so well. At 18 I decided to try again and met a psychiatrist that actually listened to me and believed that it could be something else and introduced me to yet another psychiatrist that's now gonna see what's with me. I really hope they listen and I've never felt so understood as when I hear Sammy and med circle talk about BPD. I have like 10/9 of those traits.
About 4mo.'s ago I found out that I had been misdiagnosed with Bipolar 2 for over 15yrs. I have BPD. I was relieved, upset, and so sad all at the same time. Relieved because things made more sense. Upset that 5 doctors overlooked my BPD. Sad because the correct diagnosis would have made a huge difference in my life. I was so skeptical about my diagnosis, and did all the research I could and I realized that I had all of the symptoms. I cried for days for longing to have known sooner. Knowledge makes all the difference in the world.
Can it also go the other way. Bipolar misdiagnosed as BPD.
For sure
Being a primary care provider, mental health diagnoses are extremely difficult!!
There is so much overlap of symptoms and blaming or getting angry with us for not getting it right the first time is shitty. We work so hard and most of us want to get it right. I love how they say “just find a new provider”, like that is so easy. The wait times to see psychiatrists that take insurance are like 6 months minimum! These people must be paying cash and obviously don’t have Medicaid. He is so pompous and judgmental. Grrrr!
Well, I disagree with you. The problem with a lot of psychiatrists is the ego. My daughter's didn't listen to our imput and parents know their children better than the once a month getting. I even gave her a spreadsheet but refused to listen because I'm not a doctor. Pathetic! It's not that hard when. Your given all the info
MED CIRCLE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE
I got diagnosed bipolar about 13 years ago. Been on one medicine for that entire time, with occasional anti-anxiety meds and anti-depression meds. It’s only recently I started feeling I might be more BPD. My new psychiatrist has updated my diagnosis to bipolar with borderline tendencies, but I’m kind of upset she hasn’t pursued my borderline possibility further, especially since she’s the one who brought it up in the first place during our one hour intake evaluation! Like, any new psych I see always just runs with my OG diagnosis and never tries to be open to maybe it being wrong. It’s bizarre.
Yea my girlfriend of 3 years is Bipolar really high highs and really low lows I'm trying to educate myself as much as I can about having a bipolar disorder. Thanksgiving she told me we should go on a break and that she loved me but wasn't in love with me. we haven't been intimate in months and she admitted to me she has been doing substances you shouldnt be doing I know this is going to me a long journey but we have a 2 year old daughter I just want her to get better for her it's ok if she dont love me anymore just dont let our kid suffer
Hello I know exactly what you going through, i know of a doctor who can help you his Dr Isibor he helped my co-worker too with same problem....
Many so called therapists, social pedagogue, social worker and psychologists seemed to choose this domain because of their shortcoming or failure. A friend of me who works in that field told me once that sometimes one can't differentiate between a patient and a caretaker. I had a glimps of that notion too, a psychoanalyst who turned out be very strange, bit scary. At the begining I liked to chat with him because of his skills to express in German language on a high level and it was a bit challanging to me.
Back to actual topic, I revealed many abuses by those people which remained secret till now. I find out because of strange occurrence lately and in the past. It seemed those so called victims became later also offenders, special sexual misconducts perpetrated by femal caretakers, a taboo topic.
This guy touches on this. m.ua-cam.com/video/0kfY3OLDtgQ/v-deo.html dysfunctional dominoes.
Exactly-- there is no real communication. Doctors tell you what you have without communicating with the patient fully.
Between insurance companies paying drs to NOT practice medicine and lots of drs wanting to just dispense drugs for easy money people can fall through the cracks right and left. No one wants to talk about the neuro deterioration these meds can cause over many years. Been on meds for bipolar close to 27 years. If I complain that I’m still suffering or have bad side effects the voice changes to suspicion that I just don’t want to take my meds , there’s nothing else to offer since your insurance won’t cover new medications or the co-pay is $300 a month. They would rather keep doing as little as possible and just collect the check. My actual welfare is beside the point. I feel great sympathy for Britney.
I was diagnoses with bipolar 22 years ago and have been taking medication and therapy every sense. I never understood why my emotions would be up and down, suicidal and then fine all within a 24 hours period. that happened for years along with interpersonal problems. I finally got the diagnosis of BPD in 2015 - 15 years after being diagnosed with bipolar. I am now questioning the bipolar diagnosis. with my psychiatrists help, we have been descreasing my bipolar meds over the last year to see how I do. this will be the final test to see if I actually have bipolar disorder.
I can relate a lot with this story. I'm happy you kept making progress. that's what i do try my best and keep making progress.
oh i don't know about the recreational drugs. WHAT?
I am starting to wonder If these drs. Will refuse to say bpd due to the fact there is no Big Pharma money when diagnosed with bpd , there is alot Big Pharma money when diagnosed with bipolar. I was also diagnosed with bi polar and then bpd.
Lol interesting point there. But for me, they’ve known all along that I had BPD, but yet they prescribed me lithium, a mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder. And then abilify, which is an antipsychotic for schizophrenia and mania in bipolar 1. How does this make any sense?? 😂
@@gypsy-nr9zd smh
BPD / EUPD has such stigma in the UK. Officially named the diagnosis of exclusion. Is it the same in the US?
Yes!
I agree that that might be part of it. However, I'd like to add that it also might be the fact that BPD is a newer, less clear cut diagnosis than Bipolar disorder and that misdiagnosis are unfortunately common in mental health. For example, many people here and even a few people I know had where they were misdiagnosed as having depression when they in fact had bipolar depression and the pill count for both is pretty much the same either way.
I have been to treatment for depression anxiety and ADHD 5 times. None of them ever asked me to talk about my childhood or my severe child abuse, or not remembering 4 years of my life, surviving an emotional psychological gaslighting and physically abusive relationship with a probable antisocial or narcissistic personality with histrionic traits, or withdrawing from people and having a hard time making friends or with relationships, even though I told them. Nobody mentioned PTSD or anything like that. It’s just “how are you doing?” “what is going on?” “are you here for depression ADHD or anxiety?” Ok here is a prescription. I was basically going there for drugs not therapy.
*Disclaimer im not self diagnosing*
I have done a lot of research and I believe that I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar when I actually could have BPD.
I went to a mental hospital and an agreement of my discharge papers was immediately finding a psychiatrist. Well I was in the hospital so my mom had to find one, fill out all of MY questionnaires, and set up my appointment. 10 minutes into my first appointment with this psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with Bipolar. I had barely opened up or said anything in depth about my situation, he mostly went off of what my mother wrote down for me.
I want to get a new psychiatrist but money and health care is so difficult.
"It's incredible to me that you've managed to live some resemblance of a life." That is a very positive sentence in this context, but I'm going to start using this as a roast.
Dr's are dangerously careless in diagnosing and prescribing psyche drugs. For myself, I had been wrongly diagnosed as bipolar by a Dr who took only one session of chit chat to make his decision about me. And I didn't even fit the criteria besides being an impulsive teenager. But he then prescribed me an antidepressant, an antipsychotic, and anticonvulsant, a mood stabilizer and I'm forgetting the last one but looking back that makes me furious. To just be playing with someone's brain chemistry like it's no biggie.
Fuck:/ I experienced the same things 😢now I figured it out I'm borderline not bipolar. And looking back to this era I just felt disappointed 😔☹️
Yep I Was Diagnosed With Manic Depressive Bipolar Disorder and I Don't Think I Was Ever Bipolar Because Once I Was Diagnosed BPD, NAS and PTSD and Really Dove Deep Into Finding Out What the Differences Are About All My Diagnosis, I Actually Know I Am NOT Bipolar but I Do Have BPD, I Know I Have PTSD Due to To Past Trauma Woth Abuse and Domestic Violence as Well as Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.
We love you Sammy!! You're such an inspiration for me and my boyfriend!
Patrick aw thank you so much! Love you too!😭❤️
My son was misdiagnosed with Rapid ffie bipolar disorder at 2! My dad and my brothers all have bipolar, amd it was explained to me that with each generation it gets worse and hits sooner. What if knew of it, I thought this is what his dad has too. It coming from both sides, it makes sense! Than given severe ADHD at 6 on top of that. My 2 year old was swallowing pills for this.... at 6 all BPD meds stopped my choice they had no affect. ADHD Meds minor help at times so we were always changing doses or types, but minimal gelp so my son at 15 asked to go off them.... we did there wad NO REAL IMPACT taking him off, so we knew then, its not as sever as they said nor does he need meds. , now at 19, his bio dad has finally gotten help and told us he is borderline personality. After learning about it I now see that's what our son has. Thank you for sharing your story!! Keep practicing self love and healing young lady.
I feel like Im the opposite. I was diagnosed with BPD in the Uk. But I have lots of other symptoms that are more prominent in other diagnosis. As apposed to BPD, however that was a diagnosis from 1 psychiatrist. I am currently seeking more Clarence. Its such a difficult area in the UK. If they don’t know what to do with you, its BPD. I know so many people now who get diagnosed under that umbrella.
What an amazing young woman and story!
1st I'm thankful for this channel
2nd I'm thankful to you Ms. Sammi for sharing your story with US.
3rd my story is ironically similar!!
From the name to the 1st diagnosis Bp1
To researching while in therapy a Physco therapist at that.
To researching mental conditions... self identify take back to therapist
And so forth!!!
I would love to speak to her thru email messenger...
Find out where she is now with her journey.
The way I relate to this is unreal… I hope to be apart of the change
Wish there were an ADHD// borderline video
My psych,said I was B.P. n I got so sick and almost died from the meds. Then 5 yrs.later they found out I had Hep C virus.., And the 2nd thing they said that I wasn't B.P. that my stuff was Historical! The things my family put me through.at age 35, found out that they said,my parents are narcissistic. And I thought that meant I needed to put them on a pedestal. They never told me how deep it went! I finally learned ALL about Narcissistic people,and everything that goes with it at age 60! Wow from age 30 until age 35,were the words Narcissist, and Historical.lol And again at age 60 I finally read, and found out about this thoroughly, Totally mind blowing! I'm now no contact with Parts of my Family,and so called friends,I'm learning to be nonCodependent narc. What a Hell crazy ride! The Hep C will make you feel as though your mental. Oh! Forgot to say I'm Help Free now. Which came from 3 blood transfusions starting at age 5- to 30. Thanks for your Channel and sharing, teaching people about all these things. Healing Hugs,from Pa.
Same- found out i have bpd, cptsd, depression anxiety and ahdh. Never heard of bpd before this year. #2023. I too had figured it all out on my own. Im constantly being prescribed medication that i have adverse effects which then messes me up mentally too because u genuinely don't feel good. I am too self aware and connected and constantly doubted by my facilities. Hectic. Craziness out there. Finally putting pieces together. Geez *sighs" thank goodness I'm not alone. One thing I notice is those of us that have the trauma also had the parent child title or caregiver assignment growing up. Idk maybe too much too soon for us at such a young state in a unstable environment. 🤦♀️
For someone with BPD who struggles with identity and purpose, it’s truly detrimental to be put in mind numbing medications. I feel like I wasted my life.
@DrewsporesONINSTAGRAMS precisely.
Sammy is amazing and this was a great interview. Such a strong and self aware lady, and an excellent interviewer as well. Thank you for this content!
It seems like this is the same experience with a lot of people myself included. I wish there were more doctors and therapist who were understanding of this and really tried to help people instead if continually telling them to take something that isn't working.
No mania in BPD which is a personality disorder and Bipolar is a mood disorder. I knew something was up with me at 15 but counseling at 22.
OMG. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar when I was a teenager and experienced the exact same issues! I believe i have BPD now as a 36 year old. I am so scared. I am so worried about myself and I am having such an awful time trying to find a psychiatrist or doctor that will help. It's been nearly two years of begging my doctor.
Hello I know exactly what you going through, i know of a doctor who can help you his Dr Isibor he helped my co-worker too with same problem....
I was diagnosed with Bipolar at 15yo and they never changed it,,, and while I do tick the boxes for bipolar and having manic episodes,,, I also tick all the boxes for BPD.
I always thought I may have bipolar disorder but now that I been learning more about BPD I have a feeling that’s what I have I made an appointment with my behavioral health specialist I hope I have some more clarity I’m sick of feeling this way and not knowing what’s wrong with me this helped me and gave me some hope 🙏🏼
I was ms diagnosed with bipolar from the age of 13 too 18 when I was 22 got diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder, traits of bi polar , major depression, social axitey , ptsd I’m bout too be 33 so I gave up after all the meds they had me on
TAKEISHA Anderson..you didnt become ill after leaving the medicine...
How's life after medication give up?
“Education is so important” they couldn’t say it enough and that’s because it’s so true.
Can you talk to someone with avoidant personality disorder
They've tried, but none of them will respond to requests. *chortle
Doc says. Bipolar at 23 then drop that and put on bpd as dignoses at 25. Then turn around at 27 and add bp2 and bpd PTSD ADHD. So I really don't even know!!! 🤦😬 My life's a heck of a ride :(
I do trust any drs now.
Sammie is such a inspiration, i follow her on TT and she is honestly such a queen & gives some fanyastoc advice ❤
This is exactly why I hate psych doctors benches of this. I've been given multiple diagnosis depending on the doctor. It usually yoyo's between BPD, Bipolar, and schitzo-effective disorder.
Anyone might have a so called "personality disorder" if they had the amount of stressors on their plates plus drug addiction at the same time. That is a HUGE amount of stress. My question is ..I wonder, with humble respect, exactly how "sick" she would feel if she had fewer life stressors.
We will never know the answer to that question thomas. I'm smoking to fix me and it's not working plus I do think it makes it come on faster.
personality disorders have been in psychiatry for decades and they do exist.
Brain imaging needs to be mandatory too as evidence of diagnosis
No doubt, they go right to the drugs. smh
My 13 year old granddaughter was put on so much meds that made her sick feeling etc. so now she refuses to take anything. :(
OK, yes, I agree that you have to get the right psychiatrist and/or therapist, but I live in Canada, and for the last 10 years at least, it is almost impossible to get a psychiatrist. Maybe for six emergency visits, stabalize you on meds, and send you back to your GP (primary physician) to monitor your meds.
I struggled my whole life with undiagnosed and untreated anxiety and depression. For 12 years I saw a psychiatrist who said I had "treatment resistant major depressive disorder and anxiety" but i knew there was something else going on. I read and researched, and thought i had either Bipolar 2, or BPD. But because I didn't lash out at people my dr. refused to believe that I might have BPD. (I realized later on that I have "quiet BPD" (I internatlize all the rage and self harm). Finally after I begged for a referral to a major University Mood Disorders Clinic I was able to get a proper diagnosis of BPD. After a two year waitlist, I was able to go for DBT treatment. (although it was a very paired down publicly funded program, that did not help very much. (although it did stop me having suicidal ideation almost every day). I am doing better than I was, but it took me 53 years to get a proper diagnosis, and because of all the trauma and lack of proper mental health care, I have not been able to work for about 20 years. Thank you so much MedCircle for all this incredible educational information. I hope that this helps people find the correct diagnosis and treatment far sooner than I did.
I’m supposed to get tested for BPD. If i get misdiagnosed i’m going to just tell them that a lot of people with BPD and get diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I don’t know if I should ask for a retest or... I don’t know, I just don’t want to go my life misdiagnosed and not treated. Should I mention this before I get tested? I really felt what she said about “i’m not an angry person” and I feel like i should tell the person who tests me this stuff. Like, i don’t want to spend all my time and money on this stuff. Or, my parents too because i’m still a minor.
did you tell them you have similar bpd symptoms ? i’m going to get a diagnosis in a week and i don’t know if i should just say my symptoms and not mention bpd at all or if i should tell them i relate a lot to bpd.
I see myself like in a mirror. Some time misdianosed with a severe depression, and then with bipolar disorder. But it didnt work.
One day I was terriibly suicidal and I went to hospital, where y in sisted on staying cause I coud not go back home with that kind of feelings and thoughs. They passed me several tests and I found myself all reflected in those questions. Finally, I discovered my illness.!!! That was the first step of the way, hard way I am walking. I specially remember the horrible feeling of emptiness, and feeling veeery old when I was just 21.
Sorry about my english. I am spanish.
A woman I'm seeing is diagnosed with Bipolar, but thanks to some insight from a friend of mine, is likely misdiagnosed and rather has BPD. She's in therapy and also had a support group for abuse survivors until COVID came about.
I've been debating within myself whether there's a way I can possibly tell her or not, but I don't feasibly see it without her then villainizing me afterward...
I won’t lie I feel a LOT like this and considered DID over BPD. I’m not always irrational or angry it’s much more like different states and triggers. If BPD acknowledged alters or aspects or alternate identities , I feel like this would fit a lot more people rather than DID.
So over a year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder by my mental health provider. I'm now seeing someone else and she believes I was misdiagnosed and that I actually have BPD. It's not 100%
It sucks not knowing which it is
She's so smart
i'm 17 now when i was 16 i tried to see someone to diagnose me (a psychiatrist) so i went to the hospital and the psychiatrist made me talk to a nurse about stuff that i was dealing with and she went and told him. i only had a 20 min conversation with him. he said i was cluster b (boderline if apart of cluster b but he said he didnt want to diagnose me). i knew i was borderline i can just tell. i know myself really well just like the girl in the video. he ended up saying something about a mood distorter and bipolar but i said 100s of time it wasn't bipolar. no one listened to me and i was out of the loop. no one asked me questions and they picked and chose what symptoms they wanted to say i had. like depression when i was only depressed when i was younger. i have bpd and it's so obvious yet no one listens to me (and yes i feel abandoned). i have 9/9 of the criteria of borderline
I'm supposed to be the ill one yet I'm the only one fighting for me and my life
Diagnosed with Bipolar2. Try this med, try that med..
I think I probably have BPD more so than BD, but who knows.
I stopped the meds, the appointments, and all that for a few months. Was fine until last month. No clue what triggered but man!! Self loathing, suicidal ideations/fantasies, crying for no reason everyday, waking up just totally raging inside... ughh
Ive used weed since I was 12, and thats even turning on me now. Appt with doctor next week. 🤷♂️
i’m so worried I have the wrong diagnosis, I feel like bipolar matches a little of what i go through but the manic episodes i’ve never really had.
Wow 😳 she is so beautiful she’s perfect in every way. ♥️ I have bipolar as well I have anger and depression sucks because I go in this dark place and I forget about the world I live in and I push my loved ones aside for days With them trying to figure what’s wrong with me and I don’t speak within days to anybody it’s hard for me to sometimes wake up and get out of bed as I got older it got worse I try to not take any medication and try to be completely normal Very hard for me I understand ya.
The same thing with my daughter.
This particular psychiatrist wanted to see her alone and My daughter seemed OK with it. 5 minutes later she comes flying out the door and tears.. The psychiatrist was asking her why she had half her head shaved and her hair dyed and piercings. We went there to get our meds changed because she was diagnosed at 1st With dysthimia.
Later diagnosed with MDD. After she came out the door I went in and confronted the doctor and told her that from my observation this is more Psychotic and I wanted her put on serequal XR50 milligrams which surprisingly she did.
Later she saw somebody else who diagnosed her with BPD and also by bipolar.
Personally I don't believe she is bipolar.. She suffers a great deal still and it just rips me apart inside.
I don't know how these doctors can diagnose somebody in 45 damn minutes. There's so much wrong with the psychiatric care system especially specially public
i’m diagnosed with bipolar and it just doesn’t feel right. i experience most of the symptoms of bpd but when i asked about it my drs said they don’t think i have it and feel like they wouldn’t hear me out
BPD vs cptsd? In my opinion not easy for anyone to unpick, no matter what the MH professionals qualifications are, what uni they teach at or how successful their private practice is. Most still too stuck in the catagorigal medical model. Top respect to this survivor of trauma, life, and the MH system
Over medicating has been a problem for friends of mine and probably why they wouldn't or couldn't stay on their meds. I have taken my meds since they were first prescribed for me but I was also lucky since my doctors also noticed that the meds have a more pronounced effect on me than on most other patients.
I have been seeing links for Medcircle videos a lot. I had to come to their page because most of what I've been seeing as how bad people with BPD or other disorders can be and how to recognize them. I was even feeling like crap about it because I would watch parts of the videos to see what they were about and the points of view but I was only seeing people talking about how to spot people like me but not anything about how people like me can seek treatment or get help.
I'm sure it's the Google algorithms and that is really starting to annoy the heck out of me. I look up videos related to my disorder and then I get links to how terrible people like me are. I am so glad that Medcircle isn't actually like that.
Man, I'm 51 and have been diagnosed with manic depression at 8 yrs old, bipolar at 30 and I'm thinking Nope, I'm more like ....this!!
Hello I know exactly what you going through, i know of a doctor who can help you his Dr Isibor he helped my co-worker too with same problem....