The effect of INFJs on ENFPs in relationships
Вставка
- Опубліковано 15 кві 2020
- From an ENFP perspective and based on my own experience, I explore the joys and dark sides of the relationship with INFJs, whom I consider my favorite MBTI type.
If you enjoy my content, buy me a coffee here, I’d love that! : ko-fi.com/mindimalist
-Become my Patreon here: / mindimalist
--
Info for one on one consultations
You can reach out to me if you need help with MBTI, or if you need a coach in any of the subjects that I talk about on this channel. Email me at mindimalist.info@gmail.com
--
Follow me on
Instagram: / mindimalist
Facebook: / mindimalist
I'm an INFJ, and I love ENFPs.
Such an amazing pair, isn't it?
Of course it has its downsides as well but overall a very high compatible match.
It can be a profound connection. ENFP.
Same 😍
As an INFJ, ENFPs are my absolute fave. It's cool to hear about why it's reciprocated.
The first INFJ I met, we began to know things about each other without ever having spoken of these things at all before. I was the first to mention it. I just "knew". We had at least one shared synchronicity experience together.
Since this first encounter with an INFJ I have been having more and more inexplicable intuitions. Phenomena I cannot account for by any sort of science.
I have met many more INFJs since, two are casual friends though the connection isn't as strong as the first one I met.
I am not yet sure of why this connection was the way it was for me. I remember I was very happy.
(ENFP)
I totally feel you! I have had this same experience with two INFJs. I can call it, a "profound" connection that involves mystical experiences (synchronicities of all sorts). I never thought of it that way. Thanks for your input :)
I know, nevertheless, other INFJs with whom I didn't experience the mystical experience, but I doubt that one might be an ISFJ, with whom I seem to have also a good connection!
@@Mindimalist I had a strong connection with someone last year that I think was ISFJ also. I did ask if she might be INFJ when we first but she had no idea of typology..
My experiences were rather mystical and profound also. Unfortunately the INFJ door slammed me and I do not know why.
It's been hard to get over.
I am leery of INFJs now because of their door slam tendency.
This was 6 monts ago but im curious of what things u experienced after meeting the infj. Especially the inexplicable intuition.
@@perciousmatter7001 Looking back it seems the INFJ did something that is quite profound. They opened me up in a way that has never occurred before. I even remember calling her once and saying "You're special to me in a way that no one has ever been before." She said she was crying then. I had no idea of the connection that was occurring between us. I knew nothing about typology then.
Since this experience I have had multiple instances of intuition many of which look like some of the 'clairs'. Knowing things without quite knowing how I know them. A few people have seen me do this.
She and I both knew things about each other before we ever mentioned it. She also knew we would be friends before I did though I was the one to initiate it.
I have spotted many INFJs now. Sometimes I can tell almost right away. Its like a signature has been left on me that sometimes tells me I am in the presence of an INFJ. One of the INFJs I discovered when I realized said to me "Its like I have known you forever." We are not friends -- she works at the library. I spotted her as an INFJ in less than a minute, I just felt it. This has occurred on several occasions finding another of your type.
I do not know if this is something all ENFPs/INFJs experience. Carolyn Zaikowski has a video about the ENFP/INFJ connection. It might be a benefit to you if you meet one of us to be prepared.
The last INFJ I spotted occurred about a year ago. I was able to tell from seeing them twice at a café. I just had a gut feeling. I asked and she did not know anything about typology so I mentioned the test. I saw her again that same week and she came over to me showing the result and asked "How did you do this ?" It was nice to sit across from the INFJ stare once again.
When I was with my best friend sometimes by just being in her presence I could feel myself self actualizing. There was nothing she needed to do than just be present for this to occur.
She is missed beyond any measure I can articulate she was my best friend. Nothing will ever be the same.
So so true
If the enfp accepts the guidance of an infj and an infj accept the expantion of the enfp and each one of them is patient about the other to grow, these two personalities can benefit from a very great growth being with each other.
Oh yes. They are a great fit for one another. Set aside their differences, they share a lot of values.
Hi. My mom is an ENFP and I am a INFJ. We are best friends. She is so silly and we have so much fun hanging out together... I want to thank you for helping me see her side. We have a family member who is kinda mean to us. We don't know why because we are so nice.. Of course I have to figure out why by analysing it but everytime I bring it up my ENFP mom says just drop it. We never disagree, so it surprised me. I think it's easier for her to ignore it and let it go. Thank you for helping me understand her better. And yes ENFPs are great!
Thank you for sharing your experience, I can only imagine how cool it would be having a mother-daughter relationship of the ENFP-INFJ sort :)
Thank you for giving me this feedback. It means a lot to me every time I hear that the work I put here helps others
I’m assuming the family member is an istj. I get it. My Mom is an isfj and I am an INFJ, and we have two turds; a sister and Dad. They are nasty, and we are so nice, understanding, and way smarter. They think they are, and sometimes it’s easier to just let them.
I think the two do something very similar. To me they seem to face a lot of different options and are trying to make the best ones. Like both are lead to Rome but use a different process to get there. Infj seem to use process of elimination and enfp the opposite a more inductive way of reasoning. That difference in thinking is just so fascinating to me :)
Yes, yes, yes! Similar values, same goal, different process, still very similar, but different, hence complementary.
@@Mindimalist Indeed!
No don’t worry, it does make sense... i just like how cheerful and open enfj are... cause we don’t have to read them since they read their self to us... so this causes us to trust them since we can see that they are being their true self and so we start to open up... And when enfj acts childish or something, we actually find it cute (instead of giveing a weird look) and relatable since like me personally, i or we have a secret childish personality for fun or something...
Exatamente. Você tirou as palavras da minha boca.
Sou mulher INFJ e também já me disseram que eu tinha um jeitinho meio infantil, mas esta parte de mim, eu só mostro para pessoas conhecidas e familiares.
Admiro os ENFPs porque é como se eles fossem o meu "eu interior" vivendo em plenitude.
i’m an infj and my partner is an enfp like you! I agree with everything you’ve said😊
Such honest and well-reflected self-insights!
Thank you!!! Stay tuned because I’m releasing in the upcoming weeks a new video about ENFP’s and infjs . Make sure to subscribe :)
INFJ here. Prayer is meditation and meditation is prayer! Except for "911 Prayer"; which is asking for something material or for something to be done FOR US instead of BY US. The second being an incorrect way of using these. The first helps you tap into that something "greater" within; which is connected to the outside heavily. You can also approach this by seeking something "greater" outside of you because the outside is connected to the part that is within because that is what that part of the mind does, as stated above. Both are useful for everyone! Prayer usually connects outward to something "greater", but can connect to the "greater" inside also. Meditation is the same but in reverse, people usually connect to the "greater" within but can connect to the "greater" outside. The "greater" being something GREATER than oneself, ie. GOD, the SELF (the part of GOD that is within), being that we are created in GODs image. The "SELF" is the part of us that is like GOD within us and is the part that gives us the best potential understanding of the "GREATER" or GOD within and outside ourselves.
P.S.: Share this with your INFJ friend who needs an explanation of WHY to be doing these!
It should help them understand, and where they don't "they" can easily fill in the blanks that "they" have. I HOPE this Helps, and very well SHOULD! PEACE n' LOVE!
"Why would praying work?"... Trust me, I've asked this from most around me 😂
- INFJ
😂🤣😂 LMAO
I think as us INFJ’s get healthier, while we still seek out truth, we become focused only on truth for ourselves. Maybe it’s because my Ti has worked out that if believing in anything helps someone become a better person, that is what matters.
What a lovely comment and it shows indeed growth. Thanks for sharing 🤗
As an INFJ, hi!! You’re also my favorite being an ENFP.
Aww 💜
Same 😊
This interaction between these two types intrigues me and your video prompted me to think about it some more. I figure I should share my thoughts instead of letting them go to waste by doing the usual and filing them away from anyone in my 'brain cabinet'. Plus, we all have a lot of time to think at our hands right now - so why not put in some extra time to write it down, right? :)
(woops, wrote a little too much - will spread it out over some comments)
I have met a few people that I reckon could be considered to be ENFP - and even watching videos of ENFPs envokes this feeling of an immediate, almost effortless connection. Something which I do not often get and if there is anything that I value most, it's an effortless and honest connection.
So yes, 'we get each other' and this comes as a huge relief for me; no pretense required, no need for putting up a mask. Almost as if back in childhood, I can just be who I am and more importantly: I even get validation for being just me. I can't be absolutely sure, but I think this feeling is mutual and applies to both sides. I assume that it does, how else could I feel this comfy with you guys.
But where does this come from?
I think the answer lies both in what we share, but also in what makes us different. We compliment each other well, we can cover some of each other's blindspots (though we might still need outside help to not go off on a wild dream about unicorns and rainbows). I think MBTI does a pretty good job here: we share the same stack - just that the functions are mirrored and oppose (and expose) each other. Two sides of the same coin. That what creates 'the whole' are opposites coming together. Where you can help us out of our hole, we can help you from flying too close to the sun. And then we meet in the middle, to the benefit of both of us.
To be a bit less abstract, you said that your friends helped you understand yourself better. From my experience with ENFPs they can require help coming to terms with their negative emotions. They seem to ignore these feelings and try to hide them, which can lead to them building up until it becomes too much. Without going to deep into INFJ stereotypes: this is something that I very quickly pick up on and which makes me uncomfortable. At some point I cannot _not_ talk or I would feel bad myself. Facing and evaluating negative emotions is essential for me, not doing so feels dishonest.
In MBTI terms, one could ascribe this to Fe working with Ni and Ti against a Fi with Ne Te; noticing something that could pose a problem according to the interal Ni-Ti model versus overlooking a potential problem in favour of the grander picture.
Obviously, this can work the other way around as well. An INFJ may dwell too much on things, dig too deep and get stuck - and then you come in like the cheerful bulldozer that you can be and free us.
I'm curious to know if you have ever done a Big-5 test and what your 'score' for neuroticism was. Higher neuroticism relates to more sensitivity for and acceptance of negative emotions. Might be interesting to find out whether INFJs usually end up with higher scores and ENFP with lower scores.
As to why an INFJ seems to be able to keep up with an ENFP: the Ni-Ti is constantly busy with creating and refining an abstract, mental representation of something or someone (although it must be said everyone does this in some way). In an interaction, I try to assume your (i.e. an ENFP) perspective and through that I can fine tuning my internal model of you.
Since we are so samey in a lot of ways, this can create a sort of feedback loop:
My internal model of you turns out to be accurate quite often which feels so validating and rewarding that I want to keep refining it.
And since my model is shaped through my idea of your perception (INFJ Fe and Se), you feel understood, which makes you want to keep sharing.
In other words, an INFJ loves putting puzzle pieces together and an ENFP loves finding new pieces. What a perfect combination to put big pictures together, huh?
Sadly, no. It isn't all perfect. Sometimes these differences can cause as much trouble as they can cause excitement.
Where an ENFP might revel in a "candy store of information" (lol! you've found a fantastic analogy there), an INFJ might not know what to do with all of it and stay 'outside'. Another analogy would be "long distance swimmer vs deep sea diver" which is excellently explained in this video ua-cam.com/video/wOUGHRr6sSo/v-deo.html .
An INFJ may be too reluctant to move, to stray too far away from and possibly leave behind the internal construct that they've built up all their life. An ENFP may be unhappy to stick to one place for too long.
On top of that, an INFJ might neglect their own emotions as they get carried away by the joy of helping an ENFP - and the ENFP might be too excited to notice the INFJ's needs. This can end up in an explosive disaster, especially in a romantic relationship - I have definitely been there.
About your impressions of an INFJ's stance towards spirituality: I don't think 'ultimate truth' is quite the right reason why your friends scrutinize the idea. If their world view does not include spirituality as something that applies to them, then that's just that. Whenever I am confronted with concepts that do not 'vibe' with me, it's because they do not fit my world view or because I haven't thought of those things before. And since this view was carefully constructed, new ideas must stand the test of validation for me to consider building them into this view. This validation, however, is not necessarily based on objectivity and rationality - but rather my intuition and ideals. It's a preliminary, albeit mindfully accepted 'personal truth', not an ultimate one... although I must admit, appearing to be so reluctant to embrace new stuff gives the impression of seeking the ultimate truth.
But don't worry - we're not sages, that's just how we work; we must prod and poke _everything_ whereas an ENFP seems to be far more flexible as you acknowledge yourself around 8:00.
For example, I consider MBTI to be somewhat of a spiritual thing: I _know_ it is not proven scientifically, yet I can't shake the feeling (and I definitely tried!) that some of it appears to be true enough.
And lastly... the dreaded Ni-Ti loop which you touch on around 11:03. Both introverted functions. Combine that with high neuroticism and you end up in a self destructive dance. Down the obscure rabbit hole, and the deeper I go the less I want to get out. Ti feeds Ni bad impressions to incorporate, which then results in even worse impressions.
But instead of writing even more, this video explains it better than I could: ua-cam.com/video/Y5vrwSLwdlc/v-deo.html
Hi Bierrollerful, thanks for sharing your thoughts. It literally made my day reading your answer, rich in details and new information. I had to laugh while reading it and say to myself, yeah, definitely an INFJ. Your "but where does it come from" made me laugh even harder haha.
Yes, I agree, we seem to cover each other blind spots. I wouldn’t call INFJs and ENFPs opposite though. The real opposites are the ESTPs and ISTJs respectively. I’d say that we are halfway opposites, meaning that there's a 50% where we meet each other the: having the same functions - but opposites the other 50%. And I guess that this is where the feelings we have for each other come from; that lightness, the childhood-like-friend feeling that you describe. For me, it feels like I’m being seen just as I am, and actually, INFJs are one of the rarest people that can see beyond the ENFPs “rainbows” facade, or at least that’s how it feels for us. They make us feel comfortable but also there’s no much bullshit that can stand on the way for long, because they have a way to put it aside, or we cannot hold our walls for so long with them. Something like that I can add up.
@@bierrollerful I understand where you come from when you talk about us avoiding negative emotions always as if it’s a part of our lifestyle. I don’t think per se that that’s what we do, although it can look like that to INFJs. To discuss this I think we have to start with an open mind and accept that your process is valid and useful for you, and I guess mine is valid and useful for me, I navigate life like that and it works for the most.
But, the overall process is more or less, yes Fi dominance I guess. We do not try to avoid the negative, but we do not feel the urge or need to analyse all of the possibilities in such detail as I see Ti users do. We are in tune with our inner values and can soon decide what to do with that feeling/information Te, spending less time in it than INFJs.
And on the other hand, It looks from the outside that we’re pretending to be okay when we are not. And that’s not the case, we are genuinely good if we seem to be (Or at least the ENFPs I know and myself), and when we are not we might go silent and disappear for a while, because we just don’t like being martyrs. We don’t avoid it, we feel it just ourselves and when we are ready we share it with others, most likely when it’s cooler inside. INFJs have said directly that I’m avoiding emotions because of this.
@@bierrollerful Thanks for sharing the videos, I checked them out. And no I haven't taken the big5 test yet !
Love it. You explained the dynamic so well. Ever sense I found out about enfp's, I think they are wonderful people (especially romantically with us Infj's). 🥰❤️🔦
You have great news about MBTI, or otherwise know as Myers-Briggs aka Myers Briggs Type Indicator. You have wonderful knowledge and assessment of ENFP, INTJ, INFJ, ESTP. Do you also know Nine Enneagram Type Descriptions ? Your videos provide a great learning experience. This is fantastic ! You have real knowledge for personal growth, and self care. All your advice is based on sound psychology and draws from works Carl Jung, or Jungian Psychology.
Thank you very much for noticing my content on MBTI, very much based on Jungian studies. I do have a few videos about the Enneagram, check it out! I am very happy that my videos help you on your path of personal development
My crush is an INFJ, she kissed her ex yesterday 😭 I was really happy thinking about the future we were supposed to have togheter... she made me feel really good... I don't know why she did that, because I know she feels the same way as me, we're connected in an extraordinary level... but anyway, we can be friends I guess, I doesn't want to less our frienship only because this shit :')
Have you communicated your feelings with her? Even though people think INFJs just know and get things, its very important to communicate and let them know.
@@mimi19932 Yes... I wrote this comment a year ago... And communicated my feelings a month ago. She says she doesn't feel the same. Thanks for the advice btw! You're right about communication :)
is a judging type because their first extroverted function is Fe, which is a judging function.
Yesss you’re right!
We're not a judging type, we're predominately a perception type, P. The J only refers to the external interaction with the world. So like this, you're a predominant P extroverted, we're (infj) predominant P introverted. You see? Because our predominant function is P regardless of introverted or extroverted.
I feel like for infjs the ultimate truth just opens up more possibilities, so maybe it's not so bad? If you know some things are certain, you can connect things together that on the surface level seemed to be completely different, and it really makes you think about all there is we don't know yet :)
INFJs are very interesting people. Have you seen this conversation I had with an INFJ friend of mine? ua-cam.com/video/1ynBstxeH8c/v-deo.html
@@Mindimalist I hadn't, thank you! Very enlightening 😁
INFJ male here.. about the negativity towards the end of the video.. ENFP’s to me are prone to toxic positivity, while ENTP’s can fully appreciate that side of us INFJ’s. That’s why I love ENFP’s as a friend, but for a relationship, I need an ENTP. Sucks that both INFJ males and ENTP females are SO uncommon!
My critic about the enfp personality is the believe system, if you believe just in things that works for you it may be not the right things espcially if it is religion (haven and hell which is a critical thing), especialy if it is a technical issue that need an accrute understanding of the things, and in a lot of contexte.
You’re talking about logical analysis right? Kind of analysing at something in a detached way, trying to find the blind spots of it? - because we’re not good at that. ENFP’s lack Ti.
@@Mindimalist Yes, that thing.
But without the detached logical analysis the ideas won't be accrute and as we know our believes are also ideas.
@@elmehdisaniss2731 haha well you sound like an INFJ, and trust me, non INFJs including us ENFPs have other methods... that’s the beauty of mbti, understanding that we’re all different and that we all lack some things but compensate with others.
Missing introverted thinking as an ENFP, is not a problem. We just don’t rely on that because we cannot rely on something that we don’t know. Instead we go practical and use Te, that we know better. When I try to explain extroverted thinking to an infj they don’t know it either. And I think as well, you don’t know what your missing, the world is simpler then. But again, we lack some things but have other things to compensate ;)
@@Mindimalist hahaha I will just laugh because it's so hilarious how god created us.
I focus on the negative hoping others can see behind the veil of reality. I want people to burn away all of the bullshit and lies so we can focus on what's real. What's real is ideal to us but unfortunately what is ideal for others is not real.
This is crazy I am an INFJ who has a close friend/roomate who is an ENFP and it was them who triggered my spiritual awakening. I was indoctrinated into religion as a child so in my early 20s I went hard in the opposite direction identity as an atheist. I’ve never felt understood by anyone as much as them 🥺
INFJ gang 🙌
Crazy you brought up religion.. So true! My girlfriend is an infj. I remember early on in our relationship, the biggest red flag/ only was religious views. Just like you, I am not committed to one belief system. I also would never try to coherse anyone that what they believe in isn't real. There's A lot of positive things that can be learned through religion. I just being so open minded see the big picture. So I always question the environment in which your raised in religiously, could very well be the only religion that you will ever learn. So in my mind I am accepting of things of which I don't know. Most Christians have never subjected themselves to another religion. Same is true for other religions. So it's not that I can't accept a higher power exists.. its my mind thinks. Just do right by yourself and others. I'm not convinced you're destined for heaven or hell at birth because you weren't surrounded by the right religion.
Mas a diferença é que quem crê no cristianismo não crê apenas porque recebeu os dogmas desde criança. Crê porque tem a plena convicção de que Cristo realmente existiu e veio ao mundo para pagar pelos nossos pecados. Mais do que uma religião, o cristianismo é uma experiência com o próprio Deus bíblico que se revela no cotidiano de quem crê nEle, inclusive nas pequenas coisas. É uma experiência de fé.
É verdade que nem todos conhecem outras religiões além do cristianismo, mas já vi quem conheceu a grande maioria das religiões e disse com convicção que não experimentaram nada parecido com a experiência do cristianismo e do Deus bíblico.
God I love ENFPs. -INFJs
I'v met you before , we actually was in a relationship ...I went through a so called phase but I didn't know it and FYI it was a long distance relationship...anyway I took you for granted and didn't return your calls after we broke up but you still wanted to make up and then ended up with an esfp who is a f' n poet and adventurous, who can actually take u and do the things we imagined ...depressing asf .
Infjs are built to provide truth to enfps beliefs
Infjs are vessels of truth
❤❤🎉
INFJ 8w9
Not in a minute... From your expression... Yeah you... ENFP 😅😅
A little suggest... Script a point... You are not talking to your usually friends... 😉
That was my first video ever. Things have changed since then and I do write a few points I want to talk about (sometimes). Check out my newest videos.
I appreciate your suggestion though I don’t think scripting is something for me. My channel is made for those who enjoy my way of communicating.