my experience with death (update)
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
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knowing you were so nervous to put out the initial video, this update is really nice to see. i think you really made a difference by letting so many people see that they’re not alone in their own intrusive thoughts. i hope you’re doing better knowing you have so much support :’)
agreed!! it helped me realize sooo much about myself and it encouraged me to talk about it with my therapist! this video helped boost my progress with my healing journey when i felt so stuck before 🙏🏼💕💕💕
444 likes lol 😌
@Liza Richards material gworl
That "beautiful insignificance" thing is called optimistic nihilism and I actually discussed it in my class in art school just a few days ago, it's very interesting
My therapist literally brought this up 2 weeks ago...it's still rolling around in my head
@@LouderThanLife7 it's still rolling around mine too, a decade after I first heard it. Idk I find it comforting tbh. If nothing matters then everything can matter as much as I want it to :)
I tell people I’m an optimistic nihilist and half of them freak out.
Nihilism can be utterly beautiful and freeing. It’s not what it’s made out to be.
Also… did not expect to see 3 people talking positively about my self described mindset… thanks people… really boosting my ego today.
Nice to see people accepting other, less mainstream ideas. You guys got some decent therapists/teachers. For me it was something I spent years figuring out, through trauma and pain and addiction. Now I’m clean, and happier than ever; I attribute a lot of that to my optimistic nihilism. It’s just hard to get under my skin, and have become a pretty healthy type of stoic. Because I contextual want everything through the lense of “well does it REALLY matter?”.
Usually what upsets us… doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. We gotta focus on what we can affect, not just everything we can see and feel.
That realization of like "nothing matters" but, not a bad "nothing matters" is exactly what I went through last year when I was graduating from high school. I tried to tell people that I felt so much better lately because everything that was stressing me out I knew wouldn't really impact anything in the long term. But, when I told people that I had this new philosophy about life and that I was less stressed because of it, if I ever said why I was feeling that way my friends and family were just worried about me because they thought I gave up or something. But I didn't give up, I didn't say "nothing matters so what's the point?" I said "nothing matters so I can live my life the way I want." I stopped telling people about my new philosophy and my thoughts on existentialism because it made people uncomfortable and I always felt so bad about that. So thanks for putting out this video, and the last one, it made me feel like I wasn't wrong, or going crazy. ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
I feel similarly to you!!
@@notnecessarilynini (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡
Yes, that's my bf philosophy and I'm trying to start thinking the same because I'm tired of putting so much weight on my shoulders when I absolutely shouldn't. Most of the things I worry about aren't really important in the grand skim of things and it's so freeing. Just care about the things that really impact your life and do what you really want to do, what makes you happy, because in the end, it won't matter to anyone else but you.
But I get that it's so hard to talk about it to people, they think you don't care anymore and (like my parents) they tell you to not think like that because you can make an impact or whatever, but what if I don't?! What if I just want to live happy in my little corner of the world?! I don't care that people will remember me or not, I won't be there to care lol 😅
@@biboubip_lea I totally agree, it reminds me that once I told someone I was afraid of dying and they said as long as your memory lives on then you're not really gone. Which, is cool to think about and that's great if you believe that but like, being an atheist and all, when I'm dead I believe I'll just be gone so what will I care if people remember me or not. I won't be there to care at all just like you said.
Hey Nick.
My mom died at the end of January. She was disabled for my entire life. I was unfortunately put into a position of caregiver from a young age. For the last 10 years of her life, she was tetrapelegic (parlyzed from the neck down) and unable to speak.
Luckily, my mom was able to get care for 16 hours a day. It was my responsiblity to take care of her for 8 hours a day. I moved out several years ago, my dad taking on the caregiver role.
Since then, i struggled with the idea that my purpose is created by me. For my entire life until that point, i saw my purpose as a caregiver and as a provider for my family.
The phrase beautifully insignificant is such an important phrase. I think it perfectly encapsulates what life is
you're an amazing person, this makes me tear up thinking how kind you were. you did everything for your mum, i'm truly sorry for your loss 💖
I hope you’re doing okay, I’m sorry for your loss 💖
@@oight honestly, i think if anyone was in my possition theyd do the same thing. My mom never felt sorry for herself (or if she did, she never showed me that side). She asked me how my day was until she couldnt. She never stopped being my mom. Was there for me in anyway she coulf
Watching someone who has the same questions about death or thoughts, whose had the same sort of religious experience makes me feel so much less alone and comforted. thank you so much Nick (: one of my favorite youtubers.
A few hours after watching your first video I found out one of my friends committed suicide. It definitely made those type of thoughts I had so much worse. Everyone around me dodges the subject like they're scared of even mentioning it. Knowing someone I look up too had similar thoughts about death helped me immensely. it's nice going from "just pray about it" or "it'll be fine because we will end up with god anyways" to someone actually talking about it in a way where I relate. Thanks
My condolences to you and your friend, I hope you can celebrate their life and find happiness ❤️❤️
I am so sorry for your loss, losing a friend to suicide is the most heartbraking feeling. I wish you the best
I am so sorry. Take care of yourself.
Well shit, I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s truly terrible… hope you’re doing as well as you can be. 🖤🖤
i am so sorry for your loss i wish you he best
I like to think about "Nothing really matters." in such a way that it basically means that I'm free to do anything I want to do in my life. What people think about me couldn't be more insignificant to the universe and me aswell.
This logic could be used to justify murder and torture and any other heinous crime. Truth is, everything matters and matters intensely.
@@dinospumoni5611 sorry i didnt mean it in that way, im fine with what anyone does as far as they don't hurt themselves, anyone, or the environment around them. there is no way to justify murder or anything similar. murder is absolutely 100% wrong (obviously).
Personally I think its a bit silly to say nothing matters because the notion of mattering is always depending on something. like a lot of things matters to a lot of people. "Nothing really matters" seems like a denial of my own values and intreste. But I agree with the sentiment you mean
I said this elsewhere, but basically I think of it as 'if nothing matters then everything can matter as much as I want it to' :)
The other day I went on a walk with my new cat and just enjoyed the fact that the seasons change every year. We're hitting spring in the north and it's lovely to feel the breeze and hear his little feet crunching on the leaves. None of it Matters, but that means I can find as much beauty in these little things as I want :)
Sorry that other guy misinterpreted you to mean justifying m*rder. I know exactly what you meant. All I want in life is a garden and a cat, and I'm halfway there:)
@@mightymeatymech I didn't mean to misinterpret what he was saying, I just disagree. Things do matter. As far as we know, we're the only conscious life in the universe and are therefore infinitely significant. Or even, our very existence is the reason the concept of significance exists at all.
I certainly wasn't suggesting he was actually justifying murder of course. It was just an argument against the idea. If you think murder isn't ok then by definition means you think things matter.
Even if we aren’t known by the 99% of people, we are known by our loved ones and loving everyone in our lives makes it all significant
(tw: cancer, s****de)
You have so much support and you're not the only one at all. Recently I've been having to face death in a way I never have before. We found out this month that my pancreas is failing and with my family's medical history, it's likely my fathers cancer. It has a 70% mortality rate. I have a colonoscopy in 2 months that they're pretty confident will find the cancer if its there, but until then all I can do is wait. I've tried to stop living before years ago and its completely different when its out of your control. You dont know how much is left of you. I started thinking heavily about whats going to happen when I die and I do every single day because it might be close, but thats true for everyone. I think the only thing that matters is that you positively effect the people that YOU care about while you're here. It really doesn't matter if we aren't remembered in 100 years because we dont remember them either, they arent whats important. My concern has always been that I cant take care of the people I have now. Honestly, I think I'm going to just start making youtube videos for those people if I find out I'm actually dying so when I'm gone they can Kind Of hang out with me and they still have me. You already have a lot of videos so maybe it can bring you some comfort that once you're gone, the people that care will still have parts of you that they can tap into without losing you forever. The first thing most people forget when someone passes is their voice in my experience. They have your voice. I just hope that can bring you some comfort
Great point I thought the same thing. Even after he dies these videos will likely exist for centuries if not millennia.
I miss my dads voice every day...
Im sorry if this is mean bur i hope you can make it. I hope you get better.
I know (from personal experience and what I'm going through right now)that hearing someone's voice means everything. I often am too sick to record videos, so I keep a sort of podcast. Just me talking. I wish my Dad would have had technology available to him before he died, because I miss his voice. So I'm trying to do what I can, while I can. I hope you are in as little pain as possible, and being treated with dignity and care by all those in your life right now.
i think you would really love a book called tuesdays with morrie. it's a book of interviews with an older man who is passing away from ALS, he gives his wisdom and life lessons to his former student of how he views life and death. it's a really beautiful book and it's one that reminds of how precious life is and how much good we can do for ourselves and the people in our lives towards the end.
Nick gassing himself up to push through nearly sneezing was both hilarious and inspiring.
Indeed
I have a subtype of OCD called Pure O, meaning purely obsessional (although psychologists have found out that we have internal compulsions and some external ones such as googling, reassurance seeking and confession) and I can relate somewhat especially the fear of dying and Alzheimers although the themes are more towards the harm of others and the fear of hurting others for me personally. I'm glad content creators and celebrities are coming out with similar experiences, it really helps break stigma. For anyone reading this with similar issues, there is help out there for you, there is Exposure Response Prevention therapy for OCD, which while difficult and scary, will help a lot with managing the anxiety. I hope your day goes well
harm ocd is so so so real. although i haven’t personally dealt with that theme, i personally am tormented by relationship ocd that makes me worry and doubt my relationship with my boyfriend. i’d never wish this disorder on ANYONE.
@@p8735 I've been there. The whole thing started with relationship OCD when I was 17 and then went to real event and some of the more gross ones and I genuinely felt like a monster until I found out what it was. The thing is OCD is so trivialised that people don't know that they have it and don't bother getting help and it really does fuck with your brain in such a big way. Also not everyone understands intrusive thoughts and I've been branded a bad person for certain intrusive thoughts even though OCD always attacks things you care about and it does not reflect you as a person.
i had this (still have it but now i'm 25 years old, it's a lot more under control, critical thinking got a lot better to help me rationalise before it got worse). i didn't know what it was called, but at the time i felt so alone and didn't know how to talk about it to friends or most family. my fears were mainly the future of AI and worries about global warming wiping out life on earth lol. then i'd get tired and move onto another obsession for a few months, it was pure torture because it felt like i had to rationalise every argument why it wasn't as helpless of a situation as i thought, until i could concentrate and move on. it also actually started with worrying about relationships now i think about it?!
i think a lot of headlines made things worse. to sum up a long story short (this started from when i was around 15 to when i was about 22), a lot of things just got easier to combat with experience in life and knowing how to stop a cycle before it got worse. mainly not to google answers at the start of the obsessive worry, but also things like AI - basically realised through so much research that AI advancing to an incredible intelligence it replaces most jobs is a silicon valley techbro delusional fantasy. might be just impossible because of physics and not enough materials on the planet to build anything like simulating even one human brain for long. only other option they try and hope for is quantum computing in a more stable state, which a lot of researchers think it may be impossible because of the laws of physics basically.
with global warming, my brother is a climate science researcher at one of the best universities in the world for it (i'm nowhere near as smart lol). him and his bf (also a researcher) helped me so much with understanding it better, and how it's thought to be impossible for it to be an extinctual event like what happened on venus with a runway effect, and how "maybe even more than half of studies use the RCP8.5 pathway, but it is very very unlikely to happen in reality". there's a good article that he sent me about it from nature called "emissions - the 'business as usual' story is misleading" if you are interested. it still will most likely be around RCP 2.5-6 depending on government action, and the fact is so much could be mitigated right now if we weren't so capitalist in the west... it will also we affect the global south a lot more than in the west, which isn't fair at all to people who barely contributed to the crisis. his point was we should not think it's too late because it actually harms funding and motivation for climate change research and policy change! he also said that him and all the other meterologists/climate scientists look at climate models all day long, and don't have the climate doomism he's been seeing in our generation and younger. they are worried 100%, but it's in a practical way and it is not a helpless situation at all.
my stupid, rambling point is just that these are examples of things that really consumed my thoughts for months at a time over years. i wish i could help people going through it now. i really just want people to remain hopeful, that things that seem right now are set in stone and that are terrifying will (depending on the cause) usually get better, either from better understanding of further research or through learning to cope and not place such importance on it. i know this can't go away overnight, and everyone is different. but i really sympathise with you all and are wish you all the best
It sounds like he has existential OCD
I’m glad the comment about being “beautifully insignificant” resonated with you, or at least made you shift your thinking just a bit! I was trying to piece together a comment on your last video that made a similar point but my brain couldn’t do it. But here’s my little experience: A few years ago I was at my lowest.. very depressed.. and it’s random, but I became very infatuated with learning about astronomy, cosmology and all that super sciencey space talk. The more I learned about the rest of the universe, and how, we as a planet- and as people are practically nothing, made me let go of the pressure I had been putting on myself in my personal life. Because suddenly none of my problems seemed to be as big. Knowing how much the human life was just a wonderful coincidence (as far as we know) helped me begin to view life as something sacred, and to be cherished. Now I don’t quite care what happens to me after this is over… I know it’s wishful thinking, but I wish to have my soul up there in the cosmos somewhere. When I was growing up, my mom once told me each star in the sky was an angel in heaven. And I think that has always stuck with me. :) idk. Learning about space helps me a lot. Love you nick, wish you the best in your journey
Ever since my mom died, I've been afraid of losing people I love (and of dying lol.) Your words hit home so much because I related to all of your fears: fear of insignificance or nothingness or forgetting who I am, who I've loved. It's so cruel that the more you love life and are attached to it the scarier it is to lose it all. I really appreciate you getting this personal bc I'm 25 and want to be at peace with all of it but I'm not. Knowing that someone else in the world understands that fear makes it just a bit easier.
Didnt notice that death was updated nice! Really excited to try it out
It was super weird but comforting to see that you have very similar OCD symptoms that I do. I've never met anyone else with OCD, and especially someone else with OCD that also has obsessions related to death/existentialism until you uploaded that video. So thanks for these vids dude 👍🏻👍🏻 very cool.
it’s funny cuz I just watched the prev video a few hours ago and really resonated with your experience with existentialism and religion growing up. I think your video did well cuz you were so real and not in a cliche way. people may talk about mental health but rarely do they detail their own obsessive/ intrusive thoughts, esp about something so big yet relatable.
2:12 SO glad u can feel our support, this community really is here for u and ur creativity 🤍
I'll never forget that video Nick, it made me finally feel so much less alone in this topic and the way my brain works. I've always not only felt but also BEEN alone pretty much my whole life. It's very hard for me to connect to others because they just don't get my fears, my worries my, my episodes etc. Finding your channel this year, being the hardest year of my life so far, brought my mood up everyday even if it was just a little and I needed that so bad. Also being trans your inclusivity means so much to me cause it's hard to find people who accept trans people but don't make exclusive trans content since that's not rly what I like to watch on UA-cam. Idk man I just really rank you an s tier UA-camr, you really are a good one! I hope you can see all the good you do and your potential for so much success in this industry.
Proud of you nd love you you're never alone OCD is so incredibly terrifying I admire you so much Nick
I’m happy the response for the part 1 was super positive! I’m one of the people who felt your experience was eerily similar so it’s comforting knowing that you and so many other people in the community can relate!
& I’m excited for the future of the channel and that you’re making videos you’re truly excited and passionate about! & I look forward to finding out more about the upcoming projects you hinted at!
thank you for being so open/honest with your community & sharing the things that are important to you (from personal videos like this, to the cool interviews, to the serious videos about samir and snowy joe, etc). I’m so glad to be a part of this community & wish you the best in everything!
You know what, I've never really struggled with this kind of thing like, existential dread and all that fun stuff (at least not to a large degree), but I just came back from a visit with my grandmother who is very sick and really declining quickly. It's likely the last time I will ever see her again, and so I've been feeling kind of the low the last little while, and it's kind of knocked me into some old patterns of thought - things along the lines of, 'nothing really matters,' 'everything sucks and will always suck,' 'there's no hope,' that I'm fundamentally alone, etc. The bit about beautiful insignificance and just talking about how we feel like shit once and a while has brought me a lot of comfort, and taken some of the weight off my chest, I think. So thanks. I feel a lil less alone a lil more hopeful ❤️
your video was so nice to listen to. as someone who has dealt with the sudden death of a friend at 18 this past summer, i’ve had to confront death quite a bit. the randomness of death terrifies me, but i always feel weird talking about it with people because it can be a heavy subject. knowing that there’s so many other people out there that feel the same way and have the same anxiety is comforting. i appreciate your content and thank you for making it
i think it is really important that you know that regardless of how ‘well’ a video goes, how many subscribers you have, etc etc- there are always gonna be people that support and love to see anything you put out.
i think the fact that you even have this community is quite beautiful. you’ve created something beautiful.
the reason i personally watch your videos and i think many other people is because i can genuinely tell your a generous and beautiful person, your personality is so welcoming and your videos bring me comfort. i also love how much i can relate to your views on the world around us and what u find important, i love ur videos nick and ur an amazing person!
I love the part about being beautifully insignificant, it is so true and comforting. Struggling with the loneliness of anonymity at college is hard and im still trying to figure out finding close friends on campus. When I do realize how lonely I feel at times it can get really hard because the small amount of friends that I do have on campus can make me feel insignificant.
AAAAAAAAAAAA u talking about feeling insignificant in like the grand cosmic scheme of things really hits home. glad you made an update to your previous video, even though i dont really have the same perspective about death as you, its still nice to hear your experiences, especially about religion.
omGhhgGGH you talking about centering your life around yourself. aaghhh i had a similar revelation recently as well.
this video is so good. i can't even comprehend how difficult and vulnerable it is to upload an emotional video like this. hoping the best for you nick
U are a genuine person, Nd you happen to be a good person. You attract what you put put. That's why your fan base is as supportive and encouraging! We ♡ you. It's rare nowadays.
AHHHHH holy fucking shit that sure is my comment about beautiful insignificance oh my lord 🥴 i cannot tell you how over the moon i am that my existential rambling resonated with you, nick, and based on the comment section, many others. i watched this video within a couple hours of it coming out and i’ve been trying to formulate an appropriate response since. I’m besides myself with gratitude for this community and for being part of a space of people willing to be open about such difficult topics. i am a strong believer that vulnerability is one of the most important ways we can connect with others and i prioritize being vulnerable in all my relationships and my work as an artist. i used to be a s3x educator and something i would always tell the people i spoke to about relationships and communication is that vulnerability begets vulnerability - in order to expect others to be vulnerable with us we have to lead with vulnerability. i lead my life with vulnerability despite how scary it is because it is one of the best ways to connect with other people and feel less alone and that’s what life is about for me. at the end of the day all we have is the significance that we make for ourselves and each other, and i can sure as hell tell you that the significance of this moment and reaching people with my thoughts is one that i will celebrate and cherish for a long, long time. I’m wishing everyone who resonated with my comment nothing but peace and love in your lives ❤️ if anyone ever wants to chat more about it hit me up on instagram @rac.mar seriously i love talking about this stuff it is so cathartic
me learning about recut from this video after manually cutting my videos up for years 🤡
as a person who has seen several people close to me struggle with cancer and eventually die, as well as living with a life-threatening condition myself, I can certainly relate to the comfort of significance. My experiences have led to addiction, depression, and anxiety, all of which im still dealing with today. I love your honesty and openness and it makes it all a little lighter for everyone in similar spots. Despite its stigma in society, mental health impedes the lives of most so thanks so much nick we love you
hey nick, i really liked this video because i love seeing perspectives of things from other people. it’s great that you have the confidence to share this to us. plus this was very well edited and filmed. i love seeing any of your videos cause they always cheer me up.
You’re initial video low key freaked me tf out not because it was something I hadn’t thought of but because it’s been my exact same experience and thought process I went through. Even the whole being alone in your head thing. Like I kept turning to my bf and being like wtf that’s literally me TO A T. But there’s a video by “In a Nutshell” that made me feel a lot better actually, it’s called “The Egg”. And it’s this theory that we’re all pretty much the same person reincarnated at different points. They explain it a lot better and anyways if you see this you should check it out cuz you seemed to think really similarly to me and that helped me so it might help you, or anyone reading this that felt similar.
I’ve been dealing with a lot of the same issues as of late, this was extremely helpful.
Thank you so much.
means a lot to me that youre talking about this publicly. its something ive really struggled with, especially recently, and seeing you and others talk about it so honestly is just immensely helpful & validating !
nick i’ve never ever commented on a youtube video. but i just wanted to tell you that i relate to your experiences and thoughts so much and it was so refreshing to hear someone talk about it. thank you 💕
same
me too
your initial video was so comforting to me, i have ocd as well and suffer from the same themes as you, I've never seen anyone with the same fears of death and seeing you talk so openly about it made me feel understood, thank you
I just came from your last video about death but just wanted to say again: thank you for sharing this. When I went through my own exsistential crisis about death there was very little videos from people who talked about it and it resonated with me so much and made me realize a lot of other people experience this revelation as well. Wishing you well and hope you know you at least helped one person :) ❤️
"if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do." - angel
i love the interview videos. humans are so diverse, and your interviews showcase how amazing and interesting people are. i also really enjoy your interview style, the non-judgemental nature of them and how you honestly try out new things. thank you for your hard work!
Last December I went through an existential crisis that felt like a non stop, week long panic attack all because I came to the realization that I believe 100% that when I die, it’s lights out, I won’t think ever again. And like I said the death anxiety gave me this week long panic attack, I couldn’t sleep, eat, I was going to doctors for anxiety medication, and watching NickIsNotGreen helped me chill out, and then when I started to feel better after 8 long days nicks first My Experience With Death video came out which helped me more then the literal therapy and doctors I went to 💀I am feeling better now, and even though it still effects my day to day life but it’s a nice feeling to know I’m not alone
Thanks for posting this comment. I thought my panic attacks would never go away and they will obviously come back every now and then but it makes me feel better that you feel better now. ❤
nick, i just really want to thank you for uploading your videos surrounding this topic. i’m 27 and I’ve struggled with intense death anxiety since i was a child, and it mostly manifested as health anxiety/health ocd, but I’ve still gone through these really debilitating episodes of obsessions surrounding the concept where i spend literally every single waking moment thinking about it, and i make myself sick just from how upset the thoughts make me to think about. I also struggle to find comfort in almost anything when i’m feeling and thinking this way.
the last time i had the existential thought spiral was back in 2019, but i’ve been in it again unfortunately and so i’ve revisited your videos on this topic. it’s a hard thing to even want to share with someone else because of how intense and depressing it feels, so again - thank you for having uploaded these videos. ❤
you talking about comprehending the amount of people that watch your videos reminded me of this word my brain has been stuck on for the last couple months. a bit ago i saw the word “sonder” going around which is basically just the realization that everyone’s life is just as complex or even more complex than your own, and i think it’s cool because it’s something that’s pretty much impossible to comprehend. but since, it’s added this extra layer onto my constant thoughts of existentialism and my mindset of life in general. it’s really made me appreciate life, human beings, and just being alive in general, and i think the comment you brought up about beautiful insignificance adds onto it as well. i’m kinda struggling to put this thought into words but what i think i’m trying to say is that i appreciate that so many people have begun seeing existentialism as not just this intense feeling of dread, but that maybe we can see it in a positive way, or at least not a strictly negative one, and that maybe we can use it to actually appreciate life while we have it. i hope what i’m saying makes sense but even if it doesn’t that’s ok! sometimes u just gotta word vomit and i feel like this comment section is very open to that lol
one of the most reassuring and comforting videos i have ever seen
I'm really glad you made this update! It's cool to see you grow and have such an accepting community. I loved what you said about finding meaning in insignificance. It has been a journey, but I have found my own meaning for living through creating and being the best version of myself I can be. Everything is so connected which means any growth or change we make in ourselves will be reflected around us--changing the world by being your own light. Being able to sit with yourself and be proud of who you are and what you have created is such a fulfilling feeling. However this takes time and it's easy to get stuck in the day to day. That's where being present with yourself is so important and finding a positive way to do that (yoga, meditation, music--any way to get in the "flow"). I'm glad you are taking your channel in a more meaningful direction and trying to measure success by your own terms rather than what YT or anyone tells you.
hi nick! another banger of a video as always. i love videos like this and i understand the stuff you're going through :>
you'll always be as great as you are now
Thank you so much for making this! I haven't been feeling okay at all lately and I was able to watch both your update and original video while at work and I am starting to feel a little better. There's just been so many things going on that I don't know how to properly cope or deal with and they really are taking a toll on me. This was really nice to watch ❤️
Thank you so much for posting these videos, Nick. Both of them, along with all of the comments from people who are in the same situation, really helped me feel less alone in my existential dread, post-religious beliefs, and obsessive thought loops.
i'm so glad that you're realizing the impact you have on your viewers. at the end of the day, i watch your videos for you, nick. thanks so much for sharing this :)
a big thing that makes me enjoy youtube videos is the person behind it and ur pretty great. i love the new interview content you've been doing. people can tell when u like the content better and at least i like it when the creator is passionate
i love this kind of vid and the last one like this. i love listening to people talk about everything and anything, mostly people like you that i look up to and appreciate. thanks so much nick :)
so proud of you for not only the first video, but this one as well. i know i'm not the only person this has resonated with so much. i'm so grateful that i found your channel, as i absolutely love being part of this amazing community.
going to go check out your playlist now!! it's exciting to see you making videos that you connect with more and that you're proud of. can't wait to see what the future will hold for you & your channel. thank you so much nick.
It warms my heart so much to see UA-camrs be so open and like, real. If anyone on this platform is genuine and cares it's Nick for sure :)
i love the way you've been making videos that you yourself enjoy, and seeing how these topics make you feel makes the quality of the video even better. you're engaged and the genuine attitude you have towards those videos that you feel are cool and important is what brings me back to your channel. the "nonmainstream" videos are the best because there arent lots of them and surprisingly enough I actually learned a lot. keep up the beautiful work and keep doing you. you will have nothing but those who are aligned with your vision and channel supporting you and sticking by your side, parasocially of course lol
I appreciate both videos you posted about this topic. I struggle a lot with death, both personally in my experiences and interpersonally with people I love. I have a lot of mental illness and genetic illness in my family, and I have fear of experiencing that, or have already experienced it. I have friends who feel the same way I do, but knowing that others feel that way too makes me feel more comfortable in my emotions. Since Covid first hit my thoughts on death have gotten worse, especially when a lot of people close to me got it, though thankfully most were okay. I don’t even know if that made sense or had a coherent point, I just want to say thank you, for all of your videos, and for making life just a bit easier.
I'm glad you made an update, you're definitely not alone. I enjoyed reading people's comments too, so many people feel a similar way. It's nice to see that the support meant a lot to you, this seems like a really good community :) (also, whenever I drink water now I think about your video)
i like what your therapist said, your videos are a good distraction for me, just like how you can focus on making videos, we get to watch them. its nice watching a content creator knowing that they have or are going through similar things. i also love the direction your channel is going and love the interview type videos. keep up the good work nicki snot
i watch you dude bc you’re actually sensible and have common sense. i watch for YOU because I genuinely enjoy hearing ur opinions and thoughts. common sense isn’t so common and it’s refreshing and validating to hear those thoughts that I have out loud.
i'm a huge fan of the interview series youve been doing! the sword swallower was so cool man, i'm happy to hear this is the direction the channel is headed! really grateful to have very real and honest influencers like you!
When I watched your first death video, I didn’t relate really to your perspective on death and so I didn’t want to comment talking about mine because I thought that what you needed to hear most was from people who related and could make you feel less alone. My experience is similar to yours in a lot of ways, especially with religious trauma, and my brain has also had a fascination with death for a long time, but I didn’t think that was enough. Seeing this video made me realize that you and this community you have created does care about all sides of a conversation and that you would listen and find our stories important, even if they weren’t the same. Thank you for the incredible community you have created that makes all of us feel so seen and included and being willing to address the things you need to and make the content you want to make, because trust me, people will want to listen and see it, because you’re the one making it❤️😊
i’ve been loving the interviews pls do more!!! cool people doing weird stuff is my fave i love it
I’m loving these videos where you just chat about things on your mind. Watching someone who has the same thoughts, struggles, etc is refreshing. Hope you have a great day Nick :)
it's comforting to hear your response to those of us who resonated and shared their own experience with the topics you discussed in the first video. Thank you for being vulnerable about this, it's reassuring to know you're watching someone with a similar experience.
I'm glad you've read the comments and found you're not alone in feeling like this! I know how hard it is to talk to people about how you're feeling, especially in a big way like this. Like that one comment you mentioned, I always try and think back to that "we're insignificant, nothing matters, so just enjoy yourself while you're here" to calm down those thoughts and feelings of dread and it works. Having mental illness(es) is something really tough to deal with but the community behind you will make it easier, I promise. hopefully you're still feeling well and okay after posting this! We all appreciate the content you put out :)
you're incredible, tbh. you're doing amazing and i'm really proud of your progress with therapy and managing intrusive thoughts well! your videos really help me a lot, it's so refreshing to listen to other perspectives or know that someone else in another country also goes through the same things... the only thing i have to say is: thank you. and keep doing you, i absolutely love all vids you mentioned
watching your videos is like hanging out with a friend, finding out that you have ocd was really cool because i have it too! we all love your personality and are here to watch u grow and experiment with ur channel :)
all of your interview videos are great keep making them please!
Wow I loved this video, Nick! was nice to hear you talk about how you felt with the responses and where things are at with the channel. I love these podcast sort of feel videos from creators I watch all the time, it ads a nice personal connection to everything that isn't the content itself. Great stuff, looking forward to the interviews!
I love the way that your channel is going and it’s worth the hit because you are enjoying it too. And I’m proud of you(:
your videos are always so comforting and real thank you for taking time to talk about this and give people a space to talk. you're one of my favourite creators on this platform thank you
Love the video Nick, I’ve really liked seeing you talk about and do what you want on your channel. It definitely seems like you’ve really excited about these videos, and it’s really brought my mood up as well. Much love ❤️ .
i’m so glad you’re talking about this again :) i just watched the first video
im really glad you made these videos. they helped me feel not so alone with my own thoughts about death. sometimes it gets so bad i breakdown and have panic attacks. i felt so ridiculous thinking about death the way i do and as much as i do because i always thought 'who thinks things like this?' it was really bad when i would lay down at night to go to sleep so now i turn on a podcast or something to help distract me as im falling asleep. for me, it really helps since i cant afford therapy.
there's a million things i could say, but i basically just want to give you a knowing pat to the shoulder, man. even just the tone youre able to carry in this video, i get the feeling youre a bit more at ease 🥺 that's wonderful to see
i really really enjoy the interviews youve been doing!!! if you're able to in the next video interviews, i would love to have a brief history into the topic/act, and if you're able to invest, some microphones to record audio a bit less cluttered by background noise and stay an even level seems like a good step :-] do what you love, i love what you're doing. and as always, thank you for sharing
Beautiful video Nick! I especially loved the end part where you gave us your therapist’s take on everything :)
I’ve loved the interviews and these two videos!
I’m currently deconstructing from being raised in a cult. It is always helpful to see what other people coming out of a high demand religion are going through. I’ve found I go through phases of worrying and obsessing over about one thing or the other. A month ago it was mourning the childhood I never really had. This month I’ve actually been thinking a lot about death and the idea of an afterlife. I don’t know what I believe yet, but I have actually found a lot of comfort in the idea of just ceasing to exist. I think the extreme eternal goals, judgments, higher purposes etc. made me EXTREMELY anxious as a child (and into adulthood). The grandiosity and utmost importance of these things are overwhelming to me. Knowing that my life is finite gives me the motivation to care about my health more, and to care about mine and others happiness more.
Watching Ask a Mortician’s videos have helped me feel really peaceful about my physical, earthly death. I don’t know if watching them is right for you. I like them because I find comfort in lots of research and information. I really love her videos, but it could definitely fuel your obsession.
I actually almost died in 2019. I had a stroke, grand mal seizure and was in the icu for a week. I was already questioning my religion a little before then. But the near death experience opened my eyes to how important this life and our people here are.
You are amazing for taking about this here! I only see people being open about this in my specific ex-religious groups. So it’s nice to see it come up with a creator I watch all the time!
hey nick! as someone your age, i like watching your videos because you remind me of my friends and just make me feel cozy and not alone. i think that making people feel that way is more than enough of a purpose!! keep just being you and make whatever content you want. many of us will watch it and just be happy to hear your thoughts ❤️ thanks for the update!
i’ve been meaning to watch this video for a while and i did comment on the first one, but i still felt like the conversation was really important and it was nice that you listened to everyone’s stories. it’s really nice how you mentioned the comment about beautiful insignificance. this is something that has been hard to learn for me, especially in a positive light as someone who has consistently had bad thoughts, and chronic depression. i grew up as a Jehovah’s witness and i left when i was 19 and over the past 5 years after this like spiritual deconstruction has been amazing but also rough at the same time. i related to what you said in the first video about how when you are raised religious there is so much structure in being told something and it being so black and white. it’s extremely difficult to deconstruct those beliefs and find yourself with this freedom to believe whatever you want and it’s terrifying, especially when it comes to nothing mattering or yourself not being part of some bigger plan. that was kind of the hardest part for me because once i was no longer in a belief system or religion it was like, did any of this matter, do i matter, what is the point of anything? i think with my own journey i’ve found similar comforts that you talk about in this video. like, i’ve been able to figure out my own purpose and be happy with what i have in my life. it brings me more comfort than believing what i used to when i was religious about the afterlife and my purpose because even though the freedom to decide what you believe is scary, when i started to realize that i matter to other people and that even my tiny impact on someone’s life, no matter how fleeting it is, means something…it just changes the entire perspective of your life almost. so anyways…idk if that made any sense, but basically i just decided that i think my purpose is to be kind to other people and do what makes me happy even if i’m only on this earth for a little while.
My grandpa and grandma were amazing people. Selfless and kind and helpful. The way people talk about them still to this day makes me so happy. They were loved by everyone and impacted so many of our family and friends lives in deep ways. This is the life I want to live and the legacy I want to leave. It doesn't have to be huge and grand, I just want to be like them.
Your first video was honestly therapeutic for me. Your story was eerily similar to mine where I grew up religious and ended up not really believing in anything and the idea of death has always been so scary for me. I feel like it’s a topic that's very taboo so its hard to find a community of people who feel the same way. I often find that when I talk about it with people about these fears they feel secure in their beliefs and dont feel the same way I do and it can feel lonely. Having you explain your story and have the same thoughts that I do, and seeing an entire community of people share similar stories and fears is so comforting. I really appriciate you speaking on this topic and sharing your story because it has helped me and many other people. We are all so supportive of you! ♥️
i honestly feel weird watching videos that seem so similar to my life and are mentioning things that i never could let out of my brain and i would’ve never thought someone out there could think the same thigns as me and be worried about the same things and it makes me feel like i am not alone and it honeslty is so so so nice to see that. i feel like i am still so young and shouldn’t be having thoughts like this and sometimes it gets really scary to imagine that i am so incredibly insignificant in this world and this comment will probably be seen by nobody. like i can do whatever i want but i still feel so panicked about the smallest things. i’m still figuring out my life and your videos make it a tad bit easier :) i love you nick and i’m so so grateful to have found your channel and such a nice community ❤️❤️❤️
I really resonated with you when you talked about cutting the silence from your video. I honestly didn't even think about automatically cutting the silence, I've been doing it manually this whole time like a peasant. You really changed my life.
You so appreciated as a creator, you have created such an amazing community and I think everyone here just really connects with you being true to yourself. You meeting people and talking with them is so important and the fact that you are making content that hurts the business side of things but those are the videos I think we appreciate the most.
i relate so heavily to you, and these videos are a real comfort.
Loved the update. I had cancer at 22 and this topic is not talked about enough. I loved the part about being insignificant but in a good way. That really is key. YOU do not have a purpose, but your time here does. Live day to day with purpose. Enjoy the present moments. Chase joy. Happiness is the meaning of life. To feel it and to share it. So I’d say you’re doing pretty wonderfully. Keep up the good work and thank you.
I really appreciate these 2 videos. I think I needed to watch them at this exact moment in my life. Thanks
Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad that making that original video helped you in the sense of taking control of things etc. It's so nice to see how hard you are trying to read all the comments from people who have described their own experiences, and I'm glad that the original video helped you and others who have similar experiences, to feel less alone. I admire you a lot for the various ways in which you add so much value to this world. The interviews and other such types of videos have been really fun and i cannot wait for what's to come next. Take care ❤️❤️❤️
Im so inspired by you addressing this topic publicly and in such a raw and informal way that let’s us viewers interact with it in our own ways. Also I’m so exited to hear you’ll be doing more interviews! I love hearing stories from people from all different walks of life and professions and there isn’t enough content like that so I can’t wait for the upcoming videos!
As someone who has had a very similar experience with religion and adhd relating to death, that video was very validating and sort of comforting in a way. I was always too scared to say anything about how I was feeling until I saw your video. It helped me feel like I wasn't alone in my thoughts and helped me to open up to my therapist about it. I cannot thank you enough for making that video.
It’s very comforting to hear how everything in the wake of your first video changed something in you to where you’re able to take ahold of your intrusive thoughts better and overcome them somewhat. It really gives hope to someone like me who is just starting down a path of recognizing and coping with intrusive thoughts. Ngl I’m really proud of you and this community you’ve built. Happy to be a small part of it :)
I hope you’re doing better. It takes a lot of courage to talk about topics like this and it gets extremely personal, but I know some people are extremely grateful that feel the same way and assuring them they’re not alone.
aa I loved your last video about this and I relate to so so so so much of what you said!! hope you're doing well :)) and also I love vids when someone is just talking about whats on their mind, so these two are some of my faves from you! (not saying I dont like your other videos lmao they are all great)
You sharing your thoughts is so interesting and actually leaves a great impact on us, the viewers, and hopefully yourself. I actually look forward to more videos of you just sharing your thoughts, without any sort of structure or forced feeling. Thank you for making great content, Nick.
Watching this evolution of yourself is so beautiful and amazing to see! We love you nick
Thx for putting these vids out Nick Ik it takes a lot, lots of ppl appreciate it, keep doing what ur doing
You’re an amazing person your channel is so warm. Idk how else to explain it. You’re the best
Glad you are doing okay , that video was such a brave thing to upload and a great way to open up .
I think death being nothingness (in my beliefs) brings me peace because i just don't have to care/stress over anything and i could rest. The idea of heaven and hell brings me stress because it means after i go through everything i still have to do more
your channel definitely has become something that makes me feel connected to the creator more than any other channel i’ve followed. you seem to approach everything with an admirable authenticity and it’s honestly like watching im watching my bsf rant abt anything. so sure, a lot of creators don’t have a privilege of having a supportive audience, but most creators dont have this sort of vulnerability and authenticity with their audience. most of it is because of you /g /pos :))
thank you so much for your candor and openness! im so happy that the last video received such positive feedback and am looking forward to seeing you put out content that speaks to you more (the sword swallower vid was amazing and i absolutely love your water sommelier vids too) :)
I really appreciate this realness, so much. Idk why exactly but it felt very grounding to hear you express your thoughts again on this. Both videos were really great. Thank you for putting this out into the world!!