Swipe left for sex: love & HIV in the age of Grindr | Scott Fried | TEDxPSU
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- Опубліковано 29 кві 2015
- Popular apps, such as Grindr, Tinder and OK Cupid, have made it easier for people to find and hook up with others at a faster rate than at any other time in human history. They’ve also allowed us to act in uncivil ways towards each other and ourselves. In this compelling talk, Scott Fried bravely explores the themes of love, rejection, sex, truth, longing and HIV/AIDS as part of a personal narrative. He exposes the secrets and hidden meanings of these interactions and the stories we tell ourselves …ultimately delivering a global message of humanity and hope.
Scott Fried is a health educator, international public speaker and writer. He has touched more than a million people across the US and in numerous other countries through his lectures, publications, and humanitarian work. His message for teens, young adults, parents, teachers and professionals is a powerful one of love, responsibility, sacredness and self-respect. By dealing with such diverse topics as eating disorders, suicide, self-mutilation, bullying, coming out, addiction, safer sex and broken hearts, he shares the pain and doubt that are part of the adolescence and teenage years.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
This was absolutely riveting! I wish you a very long and health life, sir.
I was fortunate enough to travel across part of the country with Scott. Probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. His story is riveting
I recently met someone who was HIV postive (I'm negative) on Growlr, but realized (this has nothing to do with status) that this man refused to love. (Again, nothing to do with status, I buried a partner who had full blown AIDS.) I realized i was being objectified as he disposed of me, as he has done with thousands of others, that he didn't love. It was devastating. tHE REAL problem with apps, is you cannot assess whether the person is a pathic player, or if the person is truly looking to bond....and it's easy to forget that we really want to bond.
Thank you Scott for sharing your story and spreading the word that We Are Enough! An important life changing message.
Damn! Excellent presentation, hard hitting & worth it!
This was something I needed to hear today....these words of encouragement and the message about being loved...
Can always rely on a TedTalk to cheer you up and inspire you
It's very hard to listen to Mr Fried and not consider the value of yourself and others as actual humans. His insight of how often we seek instantaneous self satisfaction without considering the consequences of our actions is a terrifying. He definitely made me uncomfortable about the actions I've carelessly embarked upon through my own life. Thank you Mr Fried, for sharing your tribulations in order to prevent me and others from falling victim to our own.
This is one of the best TED talk that I have ever heard in my life.
Beautiful speech he should have had millions of views..! I am a woman and he moved me to tears, he is so right we all hunger for acceptance and to be good enough..! I don’t have social media and I don’t do dating apps either. It is lonely at times but honestly sometimes it’s just not worth the headache and the misery with dating.
Absolutely moving.
Especially when he started to sing at the end.
I’m really impressed.
That singing was random 😂but im glad i stopped with grindr
What is grinder? Is that a new SIT? So sorry, I from Costa Rica.
Same.
@@ljrockstar69 a hookup app
This ted talk really need a 2022 version/debate
Amazing. Really amazing. I think I recognize him. I live in west village nyc and he is always around and also I saw him at pride Always educating people. Wow. Amazing speech. What an awesome person.
It's a great presentation. Although it's not anything I haven't heard from others. It was good until he started singing. It went from super to silly.
Agreed.
I stop using Grindr one month ago because my friend and his partner tested positive for HIV. I also get tested and thank God it's negative. My anxiety gets crazy after what happened to him.
How's your friend and his partner doing? What about you? 🔍
Internalized homophobia leads to so many problems down the line. People can unconsciously believe that no one will be capable of loving someone like then, which leads to risky behaviours and seeking love in unfulfilling, atypical ways. The remedy is definitely to let people know they are enough and that people will be able to love them for more/ longer than a (risky) hoookup
You're so right.
Exactly.
Thank you for this video !! I think everyone should this !
I never go on sites for hooking and am not familiar with the terminology but this is an eye opener of how little things matter in this world
Powerful.
i'm sorry i'm confused, you start out saying how some guy didn't disclose his hiv status to you and gave you hiv and that's not ok, but when a guy on grindr can tell you have it by the way you're beating around the bush to give an answer then quite politely turns you down you're not ok with this? if you knew the guy who gave you hiv was positive, would you not have done the same?
He's undetectable, meaning he cannot infect other people
This guy articulated this well.
omg you look so healthy to have had it for so long and i agree with everything thank you for making things better
Powerful talk
I laughed at because that's how we talk to each other on these app and don't ever think about the consequences!
It just is a dangerous and crazy world... maybe always has been
This is why I don't date or have relationships at all.
I am the same. I live alone, do not date and take no chance. Safest way to live even though lonely in some ways.
Aw scott, u should date. Your a handsome guy
Scott Kaiser I think I'm heading that way.
Stefan G because people are flawed, terribly. Fake and phony, ridiculous expectations, and play too many games. And don't love and accept people for who they are.
Me too Scott k.... I tried grinder thinking it would be just another dating app, the first pic a got was adick pic... And from there on the majority was that. I deleted the app. It gets lonely but oh well....
February 2, 2022. 6 years later.
Thanks.
Sadly 6 years later and things are the same, if not worse, on Grindr and the other hookup apps.
The words he sang at the end are from the song "My Fair Share (The Love Theme from One on One)" performed by Seals and Crofts, music by Charles Fox, lyrics by Paul Williams. It is from the soundtrack to the 1977 movie "One on One" starring Robby Benson and Annette O'Toole.
Thank you for this! I was addicted to Grindr for years and I want a real relationship. Grindr is nothing but full of the lowest of the low. The bottom of the barrel. I want a relationship with true compassion and I will never find it on grindr.
Why does he start singing 😂
Everardo Longoria 😂😂😂😂😂
lol
Love this
As a poz man of 19 years, I'm finding the panic around the Coronavirus hilarious!
Right.. u r absolutely right
Really good
Inspiring
What was with the singing? Otherwise a great talk..
Thank you, Mr. Fried.
powerful
@7:27 is my kind of carrying on hahahahaha
I wish i was in the audiance😉
I was on board until he broke out in song. Was this supposed to be a lavish Broadway musical?
I hear David Sedaris.
his last words sleep with me if you dare? no homey don't do that
is it Tedx Talks or Tedx jingles .. rofl.. i could not get finally what he wanted to convey here :(
Wow 😮 we opening
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Grindr people are so picky and choosy
I don't think he is on grindr to educate people 👀
I wonder how old was he?
I agree with the message but it’s a bit too emotional :/
Great information, but a bit overly dramatic
If he wants people to stop judging and objectifying him, maybe he should attempt to get to know people himself. Judging by those messages he just wants to hookup.
Lmao yeah
he has to learn how to deal with rejection
Swipe left....way left
Theres one inspirational DILF that just started singing
All thanks to Christiana Moses for her best work in recovery my Grindr account
Grindr is bottom of the barrell,,,,period,,,,no thank you,
Today’s society is really sick...no pun intended. Yuk.
and thats why i left homosexuality and now i am a happy person
hahahaha
Bare backing means someone loves you…….? Are you high?
Why on earth is he going on Grindr if he wants love? They have dating apps for HIV positive men to meet each other.
He sounds like Lin Manuel Miranda??
thumbs down from me, no painted pants.
I am only human born to make mistake 😎
So angry.
You know, I sort of thought that too but I’m not sure he meant to come across that way.
I hate he singed at the end
Hi, no one wants HIV so you can't blame them. My advice find other men who are positive.
but if They lie to you and say negative, would that change anything? it's more safety and actually impossible to pass on the virus with modern medication like 0%.
@@tiensimon1263 Sure but I like to believe people are honest, if not they can always ask the person to go test.
@@PharmacyTechLabs if you're undetectable it's 0% passable now due to new medication. Now all that's left is a cure. But we have already smashed it being a big problem now.
I just got to the singing. This is one big cringe.
Irratating
Why do gays have to act so cheesy. Wtf was that.silly song at the end
lol
sick
What is?
A singing sissy speaker!
Jesus... Melodramatic. Overwrought. Stereotypical. Ultimately crying for approval and affirmation. Typical of certain pseudo-liberals of today's world and Ted consumers. Any more? Thank you.
All thanks to Christiana Moses for her best work in recovery my Grindr account
All thanks to Christiana Moses for her best work in recovery my Grindr account