How To Make Friends While Traveling Full Time (As An Introvert)
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Learning to be more outgoing & putting yourself out there while traveling can be hard when you are an introvert or have social anxiety but this week I faced my fears and tried a few different techniques to make new friends while living on the road in a van and traveling full time. I hope this helps someone else struggling with social anxiety to see that anything is possible & taking leaps of faith and trying new things can truly pay off!
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I just loved this video of yours, Tori. I’m 57 years old and back when I was in college there was a very pretty girl who I was so thoroughly intimidated by her that I never really tried, if you know what I mean. I just didn’t think I was in the same hemisphere as she was. I ran into her 20 years later. We both had spouses and children and we had a nice talk. During that talk she told me that she had the hugest crush on me back in our college days and she was too afraid to say anything. Your video reminds me that no matter how pretty or handsome the girl or guy, we all have the same fears And apprehensions. Keep up the great work Tory!
You literally have 158,000 + people following your story and watching you drive around and live in a van. I don't think you're giving yourself nearly enough credit for cool factor.. You're a G.. Go ahead and own that #Respect
facts
Making friends has always been hard for me too. Dont worry about it though. You'll find yourself but dont think too much about it. Feeling alone in a crowd of people is hard. But someone will find you. And it'll be amazing.
Everything you said is so true just Enjoy the Adventure 💚🤟 Brilliant as always
one of your best videos, mostly becuase you smiled a lot more than usal. After a long hiatus i might need to get back to YT creating again too
I can totally relate. Well done and another great video 👍
Bonjour, so sorry about all those bad news 😮 You are so courageous 🙏👏👏 your boyfriend didn't see you in your beautiful blue dress otherwise... maybe not 😊 What's the f... he doesn't know what he is missing, but you, you know and that's the more important 😅 You know now a new expérience for a better other person to have feeling about, and your freedom is like bigger wings 😂👌🙏🌞
Thank you for your very original photos and point of view on the vanlife 💎
Feel good and God bless you 😉
“pick the right people to be friends with”…perfect way to close this video, thanks Tory 🤗 💐
The only person you need to be is You. You can't be anyone else because they're already taken. Big props for pushing your personal boundaries and making yourself the best version of you.
As an extreme introvert, I can relate to all the things we tell ourselves in advance of doing anything. Props for getting out of your own way and having a great time!
"Wow, love is such a lie"
Loved that 😄
Tory, as a guy who suffers from a fairly aggressive case of PTSD let me say, corners are my safety zone. If we ever happen to be at the same gathering, please be aware that I WILL try to bribe you with food (usually tacos or doughnuts) in order to gain access to the corner you are guarding/hiding in. 😁👍 As always, BIG HUGS from Tennessee!
Just be who you are don’t worry nobody’s judging you. It’s too busy worried about their insecurities to be worried about yours.
Amen.
You've probably talked to more people and for longer in this video than I have in years. It's been around 31 years or so since I had a friend. I haven't even looked into a woman's eyes in about 15-17 years, who knows. I've been telling myself to go out and try singing karaoke for about 6 years, still haven't pulled the trigger. Just an old man with a dog. Anyway, nice video dear.
We love old geezers with dogs!!! 🫂 Cheering you on! (I still shake when I do karaoke, but am proud of myself each time. 😅)
The dog might be your best way to make a friend or two. Take them to a big dog park and you could be talking to people in a minute flat. My dog has definitely made a lot of connections for me.
Go to karaoke!! It's so fun! 💜 (I think I have 50+ karaoke videos on my channel LOL)
You are living the dream life afaic
You go do Karaoke dude. If you visit Australia I’ll play pool with you . God bless
LOL the fist bump shake you are totally rad! making a real video like this will show you how many others relate! good stuff
Aww sweetheart, you did amazing. I’m glad you are able to recognise when you need some company but absolutely love that you can set your boundaries & be unapologetically you. The “boyfriend “ obviously wasn’t the right fit as the right people want to be with you for who you are, not for what you’re not. Always be yourself lovely girl xxx
Hi whatcha up to hope all is well sending up prayers 4 healing and unspoken and 4 everyone and bless great healthy peaceful safe journeys travels and happy cmpn and happy day everyday in name of the Creator God/ Yahweh and Yeshua/ Jesus and the Holy Ghost/ Spirit Amen much honor and respect keep walking tall always hugs many hugs and cool video also plz plz while riding on the roads and really that's traveled by vehicles plz plz wear hi vis vest and or hi vis clothing and if ur byfrnd broke up with u 4 that reason then it wasn't meant 4 u and smile
🕊🦅✝️💪🙂👍👍
🚌🌅🌌⛺🌄🏞🏖
Love the video! Makes me think of back to the future. Seeing everyone on the future of skateboarding. Just seeing how they've changed over the decades.im from the days of the old skateboards. So seeing the electric skateboards is like seeing a glimpse into the future of kids.
My vote is for fist bump 👊 🤪 no worries 👍 Those electric skate boards do look cool. I’m pretty good on anything with wheels even a unicycle 😜 but skate boards never really worked for me 🤪 must be to mainstream 😂😱
The difference between a friend and an aquaintance, is the you can call a friend at 2am and say "I need bail" and they will only ask where you are and how much.
It can take a long time to establish that bond and trust, but it is priceless.
Hi, Tori. Hope all is well. The biggest human curiosity is what others think of us.
You are a sweet person, intelligent, interesting, charismatic, and much more. The right partner is someone who we trust as we trust ourselves, and both feel safe and comfortable in surrendering to each other.
Be the best you can be as a person, learn, enjoy, and evolve.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay happy! Everything else is manageable!
Pops
9:20 9:40
Being alone and comfortable with your own company is a powerful thing. Don't be ashamed doing what's comfortable. Also, that fist bump hand shake was too funny.
2:00 I'd have left by now. Good job sticking it out.
if u or other people think that you was just created not good enough just remember that you was created by God and no one can create as well as or is more intelligent than God... And if u or others dont love u just remember that (even tho He may not always love the things u do) u are still loved by God who is much better than anyone else
4. Ask someone to do a small favor for you. "Hey, will you hold this while I adjust my helmet? Thanks!" Creates a connection and you both feel closer to each other.
5. Know what kind of people you want to make friends list. Create a checklist. Same values, outgoing personality, humor, political beliefs...
6. Recognize that YOU can be intimidating to others! You are tall, good looking, fashion coordinated, fit. Sometimes people think quiet introverts are stuck up! Or unfriendly.
6. Wear an icebreaker. Stickers on your helmet, pins on your clothing, unique flair. They are conversation starters.
I'm planning to start going on solo road/car camping trips, and really trying to get more comfortable talking to strangers. I stand out already (I'm really tall), so a lot of times people will be come up to me, and in the last few years I've gotten better at talking with random people.
I'm looking to get out to more events/cons, etc on my trips, hanging out and meeting new people, and just having a good time.
It's funny because I LOVE being alone, but I Hate doing things alone. I went to the movies alone once and HATED it.
Hopefully camping and road tripping alone will be a fun enough experience.
Tory, I love that you went out of your comfort zone. I too am an introvert and take a while to warm up to people. Great video. From the outside looking in, you look like a very approachable person and I would totally gravitate towards you to say hi.
Have safe travels.
Jeff from California ❤
omg tory, i just watched the first 5 minutes and everything you say and feel is so relatable to me. i'm an introvert too and for me its so hard to make friends, especially as an adult. i'm looking forward to the rest of the video ❤
edit: thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences!!!
I too suffer from social anxiety. You were brave ! Keep going .
Let me get this straight; your "boyfriend" left you, because you're not good around people? After you gave him flowers? 😐 You did so well to let him walk. How many of my girlfriends have given me flowers? Exactly none. I think you're an excellent girlfriend and he was a douche canoe. I have no idea what that is. Well done for getting social, you're better than me, I would have stuck with corn chips and silence. 😀
I can understand what you are going through, I have/am gone through the same thing. If I could sell the house and get a van ( I can't I am chicken ) I would get in and NEVER stop so I wouldn't have to deal with ANYONE ever again !!!!!!
You're doing great mate, You're living so many people's dreams! Just keep on keeping on. There's not a day you haven't got through🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
Me too
As a fellow van dweller (3 yrs) and chronic introvert, I can completely empathize with what you're saying in this video. Like you mentioned, most of my true friends are located where I left (where I don't want to be) and I've been left to my own devices to try and find friendship on the road, which has not been easy. Dating / social apps only go so far when your hobbies are a bit different from the more popular ones. (Photography, off-road e-scootering, sailing, and 4 wheeling are my main hobbies, of which there are groups, but sometimes I'm the only female that shows up. That really amps the anxiety!)
I'm also going through a stage of wanting to be around ppl but I'm currently in one of those towns where not much goes on. I was just in LV a few months ago and had no idea there was an erider meetup! Thx for putting that out there as I'll def look that up when I'm passing back through!
Good luck to you and great video!
I think you're a beautiful inside and outside.
As a person! Don't forget to pray for your safety every day! I also want to say please get a dog!
5:05 hahahaha your just like me, overanalyzing every snafu that happened in a social activity
I feel like that van meet up group just wasn’t your people. When you meet your people you click and feel comfortable. I felt terrible seeing how uncomfortable you were versus how comfortable you were with your skateboarding friends. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Some people are just not supposed to be in your life. ❤
I have the same anxiety about opening my side door! I have two dogs too so i have mo choice but it still makes me a little anxious
Im in the same boat and I feel for you!!! Your lucky you have a dog though!!
Some of those drone shots are very good. So appreciate your intelligence and transparency. Very refreshing. And great job thats a lot of work. Peace.
Hey Tory, your video on making friends while traveling alone as an introvert is so relatable and inspiring! Keep sharing your journey! 🌟
Tory thank you. With my job I am away a lot and alone a lot. Hearing you have difficulty with this is just like you said. I can’t be the only one. You are one of the most beautiful human beings with an amazing spirit. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Hi❤ Tory❤❤ nice to meet you ❤❤❤ I like friendship ❤❤❤❤
Totally understand… you’re on the right path 😊
You're ex is a dick. Be yourself. Don't feel forced and go at your own pace. As an introvert I feel your pain. I get it...all of us do who are introverts. Find the pace that works for you. I think the bike riding was good. No pressure to mingle and most of it is intermittent. You ride and then take breaks. There is time in between stops giving you time to re-energize as you traveled. You found 1 person and got a nice 45 min conversation. That's great! Better than me I talk to people like once a month lol. Find your comfort zone...and work from there. If you need a break....take one.
I hope you find it easier as you go forward. I took a chance last year to meet up with some friends from online after 8 years. And it went great. I had a wonderful time. I hope you find a great group of friends as I have.
I call myself a destructive Introvert. Home is my happy place, I am also a guitarist in a rock band and crazy AF. I call it my Jekyll and Hyde personality.
Love this video!! The topic, the voice you lend (gold!), and the videography. Thanks for sharing this with the world.
this brought tears to my eyes when you were reading the poem. I relate to this so so much. Thank you!!
I get a little lonely once in awhile but I like it that way you can't trust anybody anymore I go to town and get supplies I can't wait to get back out here and set up again saving all kinds of money because I stay in one spot for 2 weeks one year I've saved back half the money I spent on my new camper I'm not going to complain about that
There’s something magical about this video
You got this! I don't think there is anyone who wouldn't be happy to meet you. Put yourself out there and I'm sure you will be happy you did it!!!
I feel this tysm 😅
Edit: You should email Ram back maybe they still want to work with you to 🤞
I messaged them back! They answered but cryptically so I’m not sure if it will lead to anything but I am keeping up hope 🎉💕☺️
As an introvert myself, I definitely have a social battery. I love to hang out, party, and have a good time with others but I have to have some alone time to recharge my battery after being social. And, If I've been pushing too hard with work and other life obligation, and my social battery is already low, pushing myself into social situations usually doesn't work out well. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and make the best of it, but it is best to recognize our limitations. Love that you are experimenting with different social situations and trying to find your balance.
We’re really just loners, together.
Fellow introvert for the last 58 year's from the uk that was great to watch thankyou
Great video Great channel 🌹🌹😎
I'm so happy I watch your video. You totally spoke to me.
I'm new to your channel but I will say I think you dodged the bullet with your boyfriend. If you care for someone and want to be with them you help them grow, not abandon them because they aren't perfect. That works both ways and is what makes relationships work. I enjoyed your video and your honesty and authenticity.
You’re amazing, just keep going!
Trying to buy a van and it’s completely awkward for me. I have so many questions and nobody to ask, so I get that life can be a challenge. It’s funny ... I can make friends, but I can’t figure out how to buy a van lol.
All we can do, is our best.
🌻🐝🧡
Try VanLife Facebook Groups! You can even ask anonymously if you feel self conscious of your questions but I find the groups tend to me really willing to help and want to offer their experiences and insights. (There was a group once who wasn't so nice when I asked a question but I just asked another group and they helped me LOL) In my first build I asked a lot of questions in Facebook groups :) Hopefully this helps!
Tory, thank you so much for your response and for sharing your experiences. This is a great community.
Joyful blessings🌷
You are one of my biggest heroes! I just wanted you to know how much I admire your authenticity! Also, I love how much I have learned from you!!!
You're a lot like me you should come to California
I like you we can go for a ride onn my Harley
Tory ... Tory!!! ... Tory? ... I am the very same introvert. One thing that helps me and relieves any anxiety about being introverted is this ... STOP GIVING A SHEET ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MIGHT BE THINKING - THIS MINDSET WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE !!! ... Just STOP the negative self talk. YOU ARE a Beautiful, Brave, Vibrant, Awesome, Adventurous, Kind and Sweet Young Lady ... F*&^K That X BF!! He has no idea what he threw away - he's a moron. I know a dozen and more well to do gentlemen and ladies that would love your company and would benefit having you as a friend ... Stay the course, you're on the right track ... it's time to not give a sheet about bullsheet ... know what I mean?. God bless you and be with you always. ... oh and P.S. I subscribed because you are inspiring too, just saying.
It’s not about being awkward. It’s about being a kind, honest, humble, generous and real person. And when you truly become that person, you’ll attract other likeminded individuals into your life. They won’t judge your awkwardness, if there are those moments. They like you realize it’s real life. If you meet someone who does or would judge you, try to be humble and don’t be afraid to show your human side. If they still judge you, pray for them, then purge them from your life. For every person who you would meet like that, there are ten more who possess the characteristics of an ideal friend. In summary, put yourself out there, but don’t be taken advantage of. Safe travels.
I recently found your channel and watched some of your videos and saw a confident young lady who was making alterations to her van. I felt envious of your ability (your practical capabilities and your production/presenting qualities are excellent). Your vulnerability in this video has surprised me. If I may offer an opinion, never doubt yourself. I look up to you.
Life is to short to worry about things that you can't change. You have way to much going for you to be so anxiety ridden! You're intelligent,young,pretty and the world is what you make of it! So,by all means,make your dreams come true! Good luck.
Anxiety,,diabetes, cancer, allergies, flu heart disease, strokes, many many other symptoms anorexia, obesity, manic depression, depression, paranoia,
To me this is such an important video essay. A lot of folks, including myself, have social anxiety. To see someone else work on overcoming these fears is helpful, more so than my therapist saying, "just put yourself out there." Also, sorry your BF broke up with you. Doesn't sound like he is very empathetic though. Also, I am not trying to be creepy and please take this as a compliment. You have amazing eyes. It makes me think of ice blue, at least on video. I wish you much joy on your adventures and hope you get your van build completed.
8. (Oops, I did 6. Twice!) Schedule speaking engagements! Every Kiwanis Club, Rotary Club, Optimistic need speakers for their weekly or monthly meetings. Give a 15-minute presentation with slides and leave 10 mins for Q&A. This will give you confidence to stretch yourself in so I'll situations.
9. Embrace your happy mistakes and negative situations. Bumpy road broke your door latch? Find out why and report it to the manufacturer. There might be a service bulletin on it.
10. Boyfriend? You have time for romance??? Your ex is an idiot. You both weren't clicking together and it was time to move on. Don't seek a partner. Immerse yourself in re-making the best version of yourself. Confidence will attract people to you.
IT'S NOT JUST YOU!! I have SUCH a hard time in a crowd of people where I don't know anyone... I recently joined a gym for my health, but I thought that a positive side effect might be that I could meet people. After a couple of months, I don't think that'll ever happen (REALLY, it didn't take that long to come to that realization). On a side note, I'm not far from Vegas. If you need to be around people, I'd set aside some time to help. I'm pretty introverted myself, so I don't really have humans to spend time with either, and haven't been able to find anywhere that works to meet people. An awkward picnic? maybe a mostly silent hike/walk? Meet up for a pint (that MIGHT help lube my people skills, LOL).
Amazing video :) I'm guessing you do all your own editing too , nice job and message !
Oh my! He broke up with you because you're not good with people? Ouch...nothing wrong with being introverted...sad for him because you're awesome.
Great video Tory....such positive messaging. Your (former) boyfriend's loss! 🤗
Thank you for this video! I have GAD and have been thinking about taking my VW Jetta and doing truckstop/urban camping. The only thing holding me back is my Ozempic for type 2 diabetes and the VA, itself. I love concerts, but sometimes the travel requires hotels which is quite an expense for me.
(commented before watching) Your friends will find you. You don't have to do anything. Most times it happens by accident, in the most unexpected ways. I like to think we all have a constellation of friends and people with whom we will inevitably cross paths, no matter what happens. Just live your life, and your people will come to you ... ❤
(commented after watching) See? You found each other 😊
Just continue to do what you’re comfortable with. Real friends are not always easy to find but when you meet them you just know it. Your ex wasn’t right for you. Obviously he was trying to change you into someone that he’s like. Congratulations on making new friends and continuing to be you. Your online friends have your back 😊
Wait a minute she said Boyfriend
How do you become more comfortable in your own skin and overcome social anxiety? Tough call. 1. Realize nobody cares. They are way too wrapped up in their own stuff to notice. And even if you do something embarrassingly stupid, nobody will recall it a month from now. Even if you do something that will garner tons of public attention, they won't remember the event six months from now.
2. Stretch by volunteering. Animal shelter. Food Bank. Special events. Sign up for an event and volunteer to work the registration desk!
3. Like in your resume, review your accomplishments first thing in the morning. Gives you confidence throughout the day so you feel stronger.
4. Know that you are loved (and liked!) and people deserve your friendship. You have unique God-given talents to help others in their quest.
Tory, if you are ever in Orange County near Disneyland, leave me a comment. You can park outside my house. I am in a safe neighborhood.
I am a new subscriber. I like your videos. I am happy you survived pepper spraying yourself. 😜
I am happy that you are making new friends.
Great video...again. Great discussion.
Take your bike to a bike shop and get fitted. Your seat is too low and you'll be more comfortable...and efficient. Be well kid. You are a good person. I so relate to you and your situation...and I'm 70...geeze.
Tory, just keep being you. If not being around people makes you happier, then do it. Live your life the way YOU want. Don't worry about others' judgment.
I'm just starting figuring out all my van plans and will hopefully start by the end of 2025, All these resources you've made available to us are amazing, so thank you!
also thanks for these tips, idk why i thought I'd be the odd duck out, i guess because most van lifers look like extroverts from the surface, so one introvert to another thanks for the advice on that as well.
I'm an introvert as well who likes meeting new people, but it's hard... I know your struggle, lol, and I commend you on your progress. As far as your boyfriend, I would say I'm sorry. I know it sucks but if he didn't understand your feelings and struggles, you are better off without him... I'm 50 now this year, but I have a hard time dating because most women close to my age can't keep up with me, lol I'm always trying new things that ppl half my age are like no way 😂 I'm in the process of building a stepvan for full-time living and most everyone thinks I'm crazy 😂 but thats their small minded thinking lol. Maybe someday I'll see you out and about on the road to happiness ❤
Tory, if you Pray🙏, Drunk Coffee ☕️ Or Tea 🍵 To, it can Help You With Your Social Anxiety For Real.
getting into climbing is probably the most social and the best networking activity one could get into. not just for moving around in the Us but also if you want to get with people in other countries before ever going there. 🤔 braking up with someone because they are not good around others is pretty petty. in a decades time most of the people we know will be gone, thats why we focusing on your bond with your part is more important then others. I find that there is a weird movement going on to push people to be in some kind of group, that being a full outsider who's find on their own is not acceptable. And I feel that it has to do with control - social engineering. Its harder to program people who do not care about pleasing others in social settings. Its also harder to sell people crap that they dont want or need when social pressures do not influence you as much as other. The field of psychology has been screwing us over since WW1 in ways most people are not fully aware of, and I feel not even people who study the field pay attention to.
I love how positive you are! an inspiration💅
Hi Tory, A lot in this video… First off you are a kind, intelligent and beautiful woman, anyone that gets to meet you is lucky. You are correct about who you choose to associate with, some don’t have a clue. I’m an introvert as well, it’s usually a good thing, being cautious about others keeps us safe in many ways. Take your time.
The X boyfriend.. hopefully always! Sounds immature, unappreciative of You the person that you are…
Real beauty and elegance comes from within, you have it for sure!!
Be safe out there
:)
I love group rides like this it is so relaxing and I think it is fun. Just go with the flows.
After watching this I took my dog for a walk and on the way I saw a little bird standing beside another dead little bird of the same colour on the side of the road. As I passed them another bird buzzed my car and I had to slow down to avoid hitting him/her. Friendship is fragile and infrequent sadly.
Great video. Last summer I went 2 months without talking to anyone when I was in ID & MT. It was amazing. But like you I began to think I needed to try. I went to WA, OR & CA to see friends.
But everything you said is true. As a 56 year old woman…I’m not ready to not have fun with new friends!
I am not shy
I just don't like to have conversations with others (or myself.... (UA-camrs))
😅
Tory, watch the cheap RV living channel with Bob Wells!!! Its a great channel that answer all your full time RV needs including loneliness!!! Bob is such a nice guy who really cares about Vans, motor homes, van etc nomads!!! He really has helped thousands of people and they all meet around once a year in Quartzite Arizona! I miss full time RVING and want to do it again at least part time !!
Gues what miss, you deserve someone who gives YOU flowers. Alternatively, as Miley sang, I can buy myself flowers!
hey mate from New Zealand!!! let's flip that we came we tried to we came, we saw, we conquered!! over thinking is a curse, don't worry it's something I struggle with to. to help my ptsd I've got a 6 week full time group therapy. all my head says is oh shit what am I doing! I'm going to use ya tips, it's going to be pretty raw for me. find your tribe and find your happy place I'm just learning what that is again.
That’s a terrible reason for breaking up :\. I’d be happy to do things with you no matter what 🤷♀️☺️. I also have the same challenges as you with talking to people
I really like your video. I don't leave a lot of comments on videos, but yours, I wanted to.
First, I think it's great that you were so vulnerable and let everyone see you at your weakest and most embarrassed self. I think this actually helps a lot of people know that they are not the only ones who feel this way. A funny thing about being isolated is that a lot of other people are as well, and no one actually gets to see what it's like for someone else, so this is really refreshing. Also, I know that whatever you might think of yourself, you have a solid sense of who you are, because this takes a lot of guts, and you've obviously got that.
Second, in regards to your ex-bf, don't even worry about it. You are a very beautiful woman, and you seem to have a good heart, so you will easily find guys who want to date you. If I could give you some advice, I would say that you should make a list of what you want from a relationship, and screen guys to make sure they are worthy of your time. You may not see your time as valuable right now; that's okay, but if you start getting more clear on what you do want, you'll find that you are much less willing to allow what you don't want to take up your time.
Third, you seem to analyze a lot; this is an amazing ability. I am much the same way; one thing I've learned to do is to use it like a super power....turn it on and off as needed. Do you have a problem that needs a creative solution? Analyze the hell out of it and you're pretty much guaranteed to find a really creative solution. However, when you find that you are over-analyzing as a means to not take action, I'd highly suggest you use Mel Robbin's 5 second rule. Count down 5-4-3-2-1 and then do what you're afraid to do. The counting is actually a way to take your mind off of what you've been thinking about (over-analyzing), so you temporarily get out of that inaction paralysis state of mind, and then you start moving.
Thanks for making great videos, I really enjoyed watching your journey on this one.
Biggest lesson to learn for good mental health -- Your feelings are a liar. Never trust 'em. Your feelings are a result of your actions. You do certain actions and it causes you to feel a certain way. Modern psycho-babble teaches exactly the opposite. "I have to deal with my feelings." No, no you do not have to "deal with your feelings." You deal with your feelings by taking positive action, and suddenly you'll *feel* a whole lot better!
I just got apartment. I was homeless veteran. I camped at NAS Pensacola for a year. I have no real friends period my only friend is Holy Spirit. Im alright but feeling couped in now.
Sorry to hear about the boyfriend, but unless you have some about compulsion about (literally) how the toothpaste tube must be squeezed, you'll find a new one. Or he'll find you. But yes, you are right: you've got to meet people in order to make new friends. It ain't easy. The best things never are.
We respect how open and honest you are. It is way more commendable in our eyes than someone pretending to not have weaknesses. We all have them, we can relate. I ride a bike too but, if I take a break for a while, then start again, my legs will burn a little at first as well, then it eventually goes away once the legs are used to riding again. It's a human thing. You're human. Welcome to the family. 😁🤣
LOL! That is one long dissertation on self-consciousness. People talk and they worry about what they said later, when in reality most people can't even remember what you said 20 minutes later. I think harsh criticism and ridicule turns people inward, often hearkening back to high school or other impressionable times in our lives. The more you socialise the more you'll shake that.