The real problem is nice guys are unfairly labeled as weak or manipulative because they aren't like the abusive father you grew up with. Before you look for that next jerk, look for a good psychiatrist.
Long -Term- Relationship is dead globally all due to smartphones. No one meets women anymore face to face like before smartphones came out. Cold approach is dead too. Today women don't even look or smile anymore, all on their cell phones 24/7 on dating apps for hookups. No wonder why men have given up!
I dont think it is unfairly. A man is supposed to take charge, break barriers, be the leader. A nice guy will play it safe, then get butthurt if being nice doesnt result in sex or progression of the relationship. Women want a leader, someone to take charge. The guys who are jerks take charge, do their thing without care for what others think. That is an attractive trait to women because it signals the man knows what he wants, isnt afraid to go get it, and will follow through. Nice guys leave it up to the woman, and women don't want that. Nice guys also tend to be clingy and enough of those clingy guys turn into stalkers for women to be weary of them.
As a man, being nice is such a good trait. The fact that women don't want anything with you opens up a lot more opportunities of doing whatever you want without needing to care about being attached to somebody. If you don't connect with someone don't worry, just keep doing normal life, achieving your goals and such, cause in reality the only thing you should care about is yourself, and most of the times somebody would come to your life with the perfect timing, to ruin what you have built. Honestly speaking, when those women that think they are funny see there's no other way of getting somebody or the fun is over, then they go with those *nice guys* who, at the same time, are already done with that bullshit. Seriously, do not give a fuck, live your life and be happy.
@@GaryTongue-zn5di I agree with this statement. In the social media-driven world we live in today where so many people are selfish, fake, manipulative, toxic, untrustworthy, and embrace the victim mentality, those who are genuinely kind and authentically care for others and look out for them are in rare commodity. That being said, you also want to balance that with being able to establish boundaries in a firm yet healthy way. You don’t want to be a toxic asshat, but women find it absolutely sexy when a man draws a line in the sand, it sends the message that he has a lot of dignity/ respect for himself and won’t tolerate bullshit behaviors from others.
I'am nice guy and that's perfect for me because when woman don't give me attention I can earn money for yourself and can travel around world without asking nobody, with 44 years old my health is perfect and I see my friends are jelous because I have many options to do everything 😊😊😊😊
Plus when you start living with them, they re a lot more ugly than dating or each having your own place. They have a childish personality, uninteligent, eats, poops , farts, us single guys might have it better than we think. S.E. asia or even Latin America has more appreciative REAL women.
These modern women who say they want the bad boy do so, but usually for hook ups and casul sex. Once they hit 33-35 and they realize the bad boy passes them up for a 18 - twenty something y.o., they will then look for a nice guy who offers them stability.
They never stop wanting the badboy; they simply use the good man for his money while continuing to sleep with the losers. I am nearly 50 and women my age are doing exactly that.
@@chrisandsneaky2453True dat. I am 60 and I have seen women in their 60s doing this still. They keep a “nice” guy boyfriend but will cheat with a sexy bad boy.
Value yourself! This applies not just in dating life but also in every interpersonal relationships. The resultant circle may be small but it will be a high quality one.
@@DatingByBlaine We need to ban smartphones and all dating apps and will go back like 20 years ago. 20 years ago women were approaching. With an Italian background from Canada. I'm 55, 5.10 average, never married and have no kids. I've given up on women. Today women are on their cell phones 24/7. No one talks face to face anymore. I can't wait till AI will be destroying women and only then will women be begging for men. I have my condo and money so I'll die with my money. Today 90% are insecure and toxic. Relationships are dead, it's all hookups now with high body counts. Women marry to control the marriage so married men end up cheating. Marriage brings nothing for the men. I'm off the market.
Gee, when I've flat out disagreed about things with my first dates, they often got argumentative and lost interest, realizing we were not compatible on topics they really cared about. Not saying I should have been a simp and agreed with them, just to keep up my chances for a second date. I'm just saying that disagreeing with your date will often lead to her losing interest in you.
Depends what the conversation topic is about. If it is a core foundation like religion, politics, approach to life consider it a good vetting process for yourself. Don't approach dating as trying to win her over, instead approach it from a perspective of what does she bring to the table to keep me interested? If she disagrees with your foundational topics have fun on the date, then filter her out of your life and find somebody who matches you better.
@@Elementalism that's eventually what I did. And, no, I wasn't trying to win her over, because we were already in a serious relationship and in love when shit started to hit the fan on a regular basis with my different opinions and with not necessarily taking her side when she disagreements with other people if I did not agree with her position.
I like the video, useful tips on self prioritization. I dislike the concept of "friendzone". It's like "don't make a mistake, don't text the wrong thing, don't be too nice" etc, or you'll blow it. Just be yourself.
Some people chose guys that are a bit rough bad boy type but end up being a battered wife and girlfriend with lawyers and 911 on their cellphone as a result very traumatic
Just discovered your channel and am enjoying your videos. I used to believe being like Nice Guy Nate was being a gentleman, until I dated women who straightened me out. Self priority is extremely important. Great video, BTW!
Don't get me wrong you got alot of very good information but last time I checked sometimes women don't give the best advice on dating women because most women don't even like other women for the most part and most women don't even know what they want but I love knowledge and will listen to anyone so as long as they speak the truth.
I really needed this video. This was very helpful to me. I'm a "nice" guy, and I struggle with women. I've always thought, that it can't be that being a nice guy is what turns women off, because being nice is a positive thing. I can't change who I am, I'm nice, and will always be nice. But I can change other things, like how assertive, and confident, I am. Those are things that I can change, and I know I will see a difference when I make those changes to my life. Because what women actually like is confidence, and not just a guy who's a jerk.
Do yourself a favor…move on. Do nothing more than show interest in someone you like and then move on. Let her decide if she likes you. If she does, then maybe give her a chance. These women think far too highly of themselves. Where good men will work night and day to support a family, women are never working hard at a job to support a family…it is all for themselves.
I love myself and I do whatever i want to do! Anything I do I do it for myself and to improve on myself. I am a free and single man, and it’ll take a great woman for me to give time to her.
Their loss. And if they try to come back mid to late 30’s with some other guy’s kid, it’s gone from a nope to a hell no from me. I don’t think the 25-35 female ‘I’m so full of it even I don’t understand myself’ get this….probably the biggest reason older guys end up with younger women who don’t make this mistake.
@@DatingByBlaine I think it's not too late. I worked with a dating coach in 2011 for about 6 months. So something is telling me I still have the desire.
I'm around the same age and started following Blaine about a year ago. She is awesome. Sign up for her class. I wish someone like her was around for me 30 years ago.
I used to be a nice guy, i changed and putted myself first, i also improved in the looks and confidence department. BUT, i have to say that breaking out of this, women won't magically find you attractive, it will be the same life, but you are more comfortible in yourself, if you don't have any leads after you transform then you are in for a long run, and knowing that you don't get leads BUT don't want to be that "nice guy" either...yeah, you are trapped in a circle until you get leads somehow. It will get you no leads, but at least you'll be in a match better place if opportonuties present themeselves. Peace
Oh, and yes, one thing I want to add is that softness is extremely important to me. Speaking your mind is one thing, trying to teach others what is wrong with them and their lives quite another! I reject all people with harsh attitudes who think it is more important to tell what they see than actually listen to the other person and try to understand them. And yes, I am egicentric and tend to focus on myself as an autistic person, but if another person turn to me with their problems, I try to validate them and listen to their stories rather than try to find solutions to them or preach what they should do or judge them for being overwhelmed or down. For me, this has to do with basic respect.
This was the best explanation I have heard so far. I have seen so many videos trying to explain these words where it seems to be a strong conservative bias which is extremely annoying. These "nice guys" phrase is just one of these vage, broad stupid phrases and labels that are used that can be interpreted in tons of different ways and people often take advantage of such words to mean whatever benefits their own agenda. When it comes to the interaction with another person, I tend to talk a lot of myself and my own interests and then I have been told to show interest by asking questions. But surprisingly, my questions some times scare more people away than if I had continued to talk about whether came to my mind. "What sexes do your children have?", "Why was marriage so important to you? ...for practical reasons? Because you had kids together? And why did you wait? Because it would be more difficult to part ways of your relationship took a turn to the worse?", "Have you been robbing many banks recently?" etc. There is always something wrong with my questions in the eyes of others, it seems. I would never accept a woman who puts herself on a piedestal and thinks that since I am the guy, I have to lead the conversation or take all the initiatives. I know my value. I am not an entertainer and I will not try to convince anyone of anything; I am a human being! When it comes to taking care of my own life and get everything to work, it would be helpful if our society stopped treat me as an autistic person like a patient that needs rehabilitation rather than a person what special needs. If I sat in Wheelchair people wouldn't say that I need training so that I can walk again. But when it comes to us with autism, it is actually often we who can do practically everything ourselves and are reasonably intelligent who struggle the most, because we are treated like addicts needing to change habits despite the fact the autism cannot be cured. I don't feel ashamed for saying that I receive weekly help and support and help in my home because I am autistic, but it feels debasing to say that 46 y.o. I am still struggling to get my everyday life to work. More independence in the eyes of our society, in reality, makes us more handicaped and less able to live a full life and make progress and reach our personal goals. To be honest, I also find women who put themselves first more attractive. I don't want her to be support person who takes care of her own business, but doesn't need me in my life! If I have something to add to your life, take what you want from me given that I can provide it! It's extremely unattractive when women try to figure out what kind of a person I am, but don't show me their own feelings, struggles and needs. However, the video doesn't mention sexual attraction. One thing that annoys me is that when it comes to sex, men are not supposed to explain their personal needs. I refuse to conform to that and always say how it is right away after a conversation about sex has been opened. I often hear that women are attractive to more masculine men, but "masculinity" comes in many different shapes and forms. I think there is something to this, but a man who is less masculine in nature, can't change his personality to attract more women. Not only does he become a people pleaser, but trying to be something that goes against how you truly are can be detrimental to your mental health. It should be mentioned though that my problem is not going on dates and being put in "friend zone", but that I don't get to meet women at all - I have been on two dates for the last twenty years and I have almost no female friends anymore and I don't meet women in my daily life. Also, I am not exclusively looking for a "serious" relationship, but pretty much everything except text buddies who always never prioritize meeting me in person and engaging in activities with me. I have had enough if the latter (this applies to make friends too)!
I´ve come across a lot of what others would consider "Model Looking" women, and can tell you first hand that they have a lot of insecurities . Don´t be that guy who puts her on a pedestool, she´s just as human as you, mutual respect, be there for her as she´s there for you. Don´t be afraid to say no or have a backbone, don´t be an ass, it´s just as off putting as a woman being a B.... As a guy, she´s actually on point with this!
To be honest, being nice is a trait that kicks off a good first impression. Why 'treat them mean, to keep them keen' at the risk of turning them off entirely. Having said that don't cave and agree and pay for everything...be yourself, make her laugh and simply don't expect anything. Be prepared to walk away the moment she shows signs of doubt. Nothing wrong with enjoying your own company also. \m/
The amount of times I've had women telling me how boring their boyfriends are and how they are sick of them being so nice, I've tried explaining to them how that is a good thing and if your boyfriend was a jealous arse hole who battered you and didn't let you hang out with your mates you would not like that either, the reply I got was yeah well he could care a bit more so I said you are at another blokes house at 6 in the morning and you are complaining cos your boyfriend is not kicking off about it 😜 honestly I will never understand women as long as i live 😜
@@DatingByBlaine IAM not putting on some fake attitude some fake stuff just cause she wants to be ran through until men no longer want them and she ready to settle down with a real man who just don't wanna use her for a quick fling
I personally find it absolutely puzzling that someone who thinks that being nice is a sign of a weak individual....I'm a nice man yet when I'm taken advantage of or perhaps even thrown "under the bus " you are definitely going to witness the other side of me.....As nice as I am...I am just as evil...
I totally agree with you! Being nice is a lot more nuanced than most of these UA-camrs with their black and white thinking opinions. Well articulated, great coaching.
I think what she was really trying to say is Dont act too desperate, be Independent. And act like you can get any girl any time. All traits of a person who IS good looking. So if I do this at 5 ft. 7, ignore your calls for an hour, be more selfish and cocky, than Im gonna be attractive enough for you right????😮 Right???
Does introversion risk seeming like "being a simp"? Would love a video about introverts. It puts me at ease to listen and walk around in someon else's world when we're just meeting. I learn whether there's a fit for me there. That's a huge value going forward. I get lots of positive feedback/gratitude on this, but can't think of attractive women that seemed to like it.
Daniel, great Q! I'd think of being introverted and "simping" as distinct concepts. The type of listening you described is actually a huge asset dating-wise, and doesn't inherently imply simping IMO. One thing that may help is pushing yourself to share reactions after you listen, particularly if you don't agree with something a woman said
@@DatingByBlaine Being "introverted" or "ambiverted" is another ball park than "simping". You can still be assertive etc ...From my expierence, being "introverted" has more benefits generally than "extroverts". "Extroverts" want to be center front of attention usually while an "introverted/ambivert" will be a good active listener...Too many people slap labels too quickly... I´ll give you a list and then tell me otherwise that they don´t get women, this will also help a lot of men as well with the label "introverted"... Michael Jordan is an introvert. Elon Musk is a self-proclaimed introvert Johnny Depp is actually an introvert Keanu Reeves is an introvert Tom Hardy The Weeknd is definitely an introvert. The Canadian singer has once said that he’s shy and doesn’t like to be in the spotlight. That doesn’t mean he isn’t confident, though. Eminem Matt Damon Jay-Z (He´s with Beyonce, who is also an "introvert") Yes, while I listed a few "introverts", the point is, they get women. Sure they get women possibly because of celeb status, however you will notice a lot of them have also been married for several years , so they know how to keep....
Talking less would make you more of a mystery. Apparently women like that and find it attractive. I wouldn't worry about it looking like simping unless you're just being a yes man with her and agreeing with everything she says.
The issue of "nice guys" is about women need for a provider no matter how bad he is, bcs they see the issue of sociale behavior theirs to inculcate to men
Thank you for explaining this. However, some women want the man to plan the date to for him to prove leadership, and such. Okay, fine, but the catch would be IF I would take her to a place or activity she does not like. Well I am kinda screwed, because that would kind of ruin her hopeful impression about me, turned negatively. It would be much better just to ask what she would like to do as well? Apparently not. They do not want to think about the plans, that is a mans job. But would later complain about it when its not her "thing" . If she did not like where we went or activity we did. She should have given her input from the very beginning. There is always a contradiction in thinking when it comes to women. Is it being a nice guy to ask what she would like to do so both man and women enjoy each others company?? I guess not.
Except this isn't how those societies worked. The "nice" hunter cooperated with the other hunters so they would be successful and they shared their catch to provide for the entire group. The asshole was kicked out of the group because surviving required cooperation.
the world without genuine kind people, not just men, would be a world riddled with war, cruelty and evil. Is that what people want? Seriously, i always try to be kind, decent and helpful to everyone from humans to animals, and while i will never be attractive or cool or rich or whatever, i am content and happy to live a life in giving and helping. Giving genuine love to others despite never getting it back is a hard thing to do but it is the right thing to do.
Blaine, though what some of what you say makes sense. Compared to me it doesn't make sense. When I go out by myself, I go where I want to go. There's no one else here to tell her I'm going here or there. The last lady I took to lunch, I chose the spot, and said let's go to such and such. I paid, because I'm a gentleman. I treated her nice, polite. Later I mean another day as we dated, I would disagree with her like you said and it turned into an argument, every time just about it turned into an argument. She wouldn't take advice I had given her, however later finally told me I was right, she should've listened to me. Now she's with a man that she's totally submissive to. What the HELL? Why is she submissive to him? But argues with me? Please contact me and tell me.
basically.. women want what they must strive to achieve. if something comes too easily, women will go the other way. but not all women are like this. just the weak, easily swayed, lacking personal direction ones. i'm quite sure that a woman who actually knows what she wants will not be dissuaded by a man who is caring. The idea of a man that puts his woman ahead of his own needs I'd say is most often a fantasy. I don't know of any man that does that. If a woman is playing these sorts of games, better to just find another that isn't.
You shouldn't aim to be an a**hole but if are perceived as one, then it is much better than being a nice guy. Trust me I have been both and being the nice guy is a horrible way to live If you're nice and get nothing, resentment builds. If you're an asshole and get nothing, then you stay true to yourself. Again, to not try to be an asshole. Simply state your needs wants and desires. If they can't match you, then that's OK
My thoughts, for what little they're worth 🤪. There's a big difference between helping someone in need and letting someone bully you. If you're the type of person who puts others needs above your own and those people actually need your help, I think that's very attractive to most people. For example, sacrificing some of your relaxation time to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Doing that is putting others' needs above your own but I think that's awesome and very attractive. This is very different from if some asshole is demanding something they don't deserve but you just go along with it because you want to avoid conflict and it's easier to just give in. That's very unattractive because it's really a lack a courage. By letting someone bully you, you aren't being nice to them. You're just being a coward. That's very unattractive. I personally think that trying to "not be too nice" is the wrong thing to focus on. Yes, don't let people be mean to you without challenging them. Stand up for yourself. And I agree that you shouldn't spend tons of money on a first date because it can make the other person feel like they owe you something. But if you were really kind to someone on a date and they rejected you, I seriously doubt that it's because they think you put other people's needs above your own. I'd expect it's more like they have specific preferences for their partners' personality type, sense of humor, physical appearance, achievements, communication style etc. I just don't think it's because they think someone is too generous to others. Because I think generosity and helping those in need is a great thing (not talking about people taking advantage of you). If a woman seems to date assholes, those assholes are probably very physically attractive, maybe have a lot of money, and likely don't present themselves as assholes at first. They are probably good at appearing kind at first and wait until later to show their more negative traits. It's not their selfishness that was attractive. Women who truly want someone selfish probably have self esteem issues, and you don't want to focus on them anyway. So my advice, as worthless as it is haha: If you get rejected this way, just focus on becoming the best version of yourself according to what you think is best, and find someone else. You likely just weren't compatible. Don't think about being more self interested.
Something leads me to believe that this lady is okay with being friends with nice guys but that's only because she wants to get the resources and money by pulling him along and using him
Right, women are attracted to that. Now folks just remember that attraction is the most horrible foundation for a relationship. Compatibility is what you should be aspiring to have. Someone with whom you can be transparent, give feedback and receive it, someone who respects you and gives you an environment to thrive and find wellness. Things that you wont find if you live by what this video shares.
Tried that selfish act stuff , Doesn't work , especially Number Two , On Number One , started reading books , Gym , Salsa dancing lessons , In Number Two the moment I disagree with a woman even proving that I was right and she admitting that she was wrong , BooM , DATE OVER ........at least twice
That’s were you went wrong. Stop getting into I’m right discussions. That is not attractive. Ed Mylett says “it is not your job to make people believe what you say: it is your job to show people you believe what you say. “ you can show you have your opinion without arguing. Good luck friend
Another way to say this: People confuse correlation with causation - in general, it isn't being nice that's unattractive or being bad that's attractive, it's other things that those guys tend to do that make the difference. It's best to be a good guy and know the things women find attractive.
i wonder if you got an episode on vetting the right women for you. i been running into a lot of not so great women but they dont show those bad signs until later.
How are You gonna say something to a Woman that she disagrees with You in a date if You can't get a girl to go on a date with You if You're a "" Nice Guy"" and women don't date "" Nice Guys"" ???
I had exactly that thought several times through this vid. I don't even know who this vid was aimed at. Not the nice guys who get friend-zoned but no dates, not the bad boys who are gonna get laid without Blaine's advice, not Joe Average who has a cloak of invisibility as far as women are concerned, and not the poor b's on the bottom rungs of the rating ladder. Who does that leave?
I think there’s a stark contrast between a quality masculine man and your average nice guy. The masculine man oozes confidence, underpinned by rock-solid integrity and a killer sense of purpose. He’s not just nice; he’s genuinely kind, but with an edge of ambition and a sense of humor that makes interactions magnetic. Emotional intelligence? He’s got it in spades, balancing empathy with self-assurance and a polished physical presence. He knows his worth and doesn’t just play the support role-he actively uplifts and encourages. In contrast, the nice guy, while well-meaning, often struggles with self-confidence and ambition. His kindness can veer into passivity, and his emotional intelligence might falter when handling his own needs. He might lack the passion and assertiveness that make the masculine man not just attractive but compelling. It’s the difference between being someone who is pleasant to be around and someone who commands respect and admiration.
She's right. She does not recommend being a selfish asshole. She says to be kind and considerate, yet put your own interests first. Don't be afraid to disagree. Don't be a doormat. Stand up for what you believe. This will make women respect you, and without respect, there is no sexual attraction. Someone who is too agreeable can't be trusted. If you never say 'no', all your 'yesses' are meaningless.
I think 'nice' is not the appropriate word here, because niceness is necessary. Noone likes jerks. The appropriate word here is 'boring' or 'annoying'. If a woman knows exactly what you are going to think, say or do because your behavior is predictable, that makes you a boring and annoying person to be with, and also someone who is probably not honest and behaves the way he does just to seem more lovable or a more perfect match for the woman. I understand that women hate this. Just as men hate when a woman behaves the same way.
I do not understand this current dating culture; actually, it infuriates me. Why is there a need to play mind games? Why can't both a man and woman put all their cards on the table and just be real with one another with their innate personalities? Why must a woman "test" a man in this manner that you described? Based on the information that was presented in this video, is it safe to infer that the majority of women are self-absorbed egomaniacal narcissists who have weaponized their beauty in order to get what they want (or think they want)? I think so. However, once women lose their trump card (looks) typically after age 55, their egos erode and they seek companionship above anything else because their sexual value greatly diminishes in the dating marketplace.
Bro all you said is just fact and I have done a lot of research about "dark female nature" and I have also red a lot of ebook about dark female nature and all this is what you still experience in most women during marriage. It's very important for men to know about dark female nature and know how to be smart when dealing with women.
Nice guys finish last - when it comes to selfish and shallow people judging them. The women who have wised up and realized the errors of their ways in time to keep their nice guy never regret it. Stop encouraging idiots to reject nice guys. It only exacerbates the shallowness problem we have in this world.
Stop watching this, I have the answer - woman like this prefer having one foot out the door , so if any ANYTHING minor happens, they can ditch and move on to the next guy. Nice guys generally don't do anything wrong, so women find themselves having to choose between actually being happy or seeing what else is out there. Woman don't want happiness, they want excitement.
Nice guys generally do EVERYTHING wrong because they treat a woman the way they think a woman should want to be treated. The a-hole treats them the way they actually want to be treated. You can’t actually make someone happy but you can get them excited!
* "Women want the finished product in men, they are not willing to go through this with him. His growing into life process", and another reason for men to step away from "those women". The "nice guy" and the "Simp" are a description of a good person growing up, and if you don't like it then you can't complain "where have all the good men gone"!!! A good therapist would know this. * The "self-interest" comment is another double standard for women. Where she doesn't like it when he has self-interest, but it's okay if she does. *** All this shows us that women are going through some intense growing pains, and us men need to step away from them as they go through this. OR get caught up in the destruction of their tornado. This is going to last about 10 years. So guys, find something else to do in that time... Independent men will love that "Freedom". And guys that love the companionship of women, need to join men's groups and keep busy. Go in peace.
I think another thing nice guys don't always realize about themselves, but women definitely notice, is that they think their "nice" behaviors entitle them to immediate sex or a relationship. This used to be me. I thought that getting a girl some special gift for her birthday/Xmas would be a clear sign and she'd then reciprocate with a date. That's just not how it works, and once you realize your own motives you also realize what you're doing isn't a nice gift, it's an implicit transaction. Modern dudes need to realize that brief moments of fake politeness or big spending on a date aren't the only alternative to being an a-hole, and most of all stop blaming women because they don't care for what we're offering. It's ok and healthy to take personal responsibility and better ourselves WITHOUT expecting immediate gratification after step 1.
+1 great callout. Checking certain boxes (e.g. good career, good person) doesn't directly translate to dating success. These are necessary but not sufficient conditions :)
Women give those things instantly to losers and badboys, so why shouldn't good men expect it? We should be treated BETTER than the trash, but women invert that and treat garbage men like kings while crapping on good ones. If you let a woman string you along, not giving you what she freely and immediately gave to assholes, you're a damned fool.
Even as a positive, “nice” is pretty lackluster. If that’s your main feat, you want to be “Great”, not “Nice”. It goes without saying that no girl would ever want to go out with someone that isn’t nice anyway… (well at least to her that is 😂). I think when we hear this we should rather be reading “shy”, “soft”, “not enough”, “no sex appeal”, or something like this. Which likely means not confident enough or not as direct, flirty or pushing things as you should be with that girl. If I say a girl is “nice” as a first qualificative, I certainly wasn’t into her, and probably will not see her again (if I was looking for a date). Things goes both ways. Often ask yourself “what if it was me” resets the reason and it answers a lot of questions!
Maybe it's a better idea to teach girls moral values and to learn to chose a partner based on logic instead of hormones and emotions. And maybe we can save our civilization that way.
The issue, is that "nice guys" are not actually nice..... now let me explain. The guys who are labelled as "nice guys" are those, who will do everything to a girl, a shoulder to cry on as she described, and i have seen things guys do that really are embarrassing just to have a chance with a girl .... think of it like watching national geography. These same type of guys, won't be this nice to another guy, to an elderly, at work, but once they see a girl they like ... game over! So simply girls who are genuine see that and want someone normal. Whereas girls who are crazy look for something more adventurous as this is boring, and the supply of such men is "buy one get 5 for free chasing you".
Well I have a split personality, I was born and raised a Nice Guy 😇 and at the same time I have the ability to be an asshole/jerk 👹 (only when there's a bunch of Assholes and jerks around me) and I promise you you're not gonna like it! Trust me!!! I know myself than my parents does. A nice guy inside of me is much better than the other one! And He always Prevail because he's a nice guy. But IF being an Asshole/Jerk will be the only thing to make any Women so friggin happy then I can be an asshole/jerk at any moment it's like a Shift on the Fly.
This a long range run. Bad boys abandon women in the first three to five years. Leaving their children traumatized without a father to guide them in this evil world. The they want a a good guy who take care of this broken family. This is very stupid. Men need to reject these women until they find a good and humble woman interested in raising a family with love. It is not that difficult.
"Women don't like selfish assholes" - and then proceeds to describe how women like selfish assholes :D
Look at the action becuase it's louder than any spoken word.
@@zensenpai6669 "Asking a fish how to catch it" ~ Patrice Oneal
The internet and social media beg to differ
I love hypocrisy.
Yep
The real problem is nice guys are unfairly labeled as weak or manipulative because they aren't like the abusive father you grew up with. Before you look for that next jerk, look for a good psychiatrist.
Long -Term- Relationship is dead globally all due to smartphones. No one meets women anymore face to face like before smartphones came out. Cold approach is dead too. Today women don't even look or smile anymore, all on their cell phones 24/7 on dating apps for hookups. No wonder why men have given up!
I dont think it is unfairly. A man is supposed to take charge, break barriers, be the leader. A nice guy will play it safe, then get butthurt if being nice doesnt result in sex or progression of the relationship. Women want a leader, someone to take charge. The guys who are jerks take charge, do their thing without care for what others think. That is an attractive trait to women because it signals the man knows what he wants, isnt afraid to go get it, and will follow through. Nice guys leave it up to the woman, and women don't want that. Nice guys also tend to be clingy and enough of those clingy guys turn into stalkers for women to be weary of them.
As a man, being nice is such a good trait. The fact that women don't want anything with you opens up a lot more opportunities of doing whatever you want without needing to care about being attached to somebody. If you don't connect with someone don't worry, just keep doing normal life, achieving your goals and such, cause in reality the only thing you should care about is yourself, and most of the times somebody would come to your life with the perfect timing, to ruin what you have built.
Honestly speaking, when those women that think they are funny see there's no other way of getting somebody or the fun is over, then they go with those *nice guys* who, at the same time, are already done with that bullshit.
Seriously, do not give a fuck, live your life and be happy.
Don't be nice all the time.when you nice she will take you kindness for a weakness.
Kindness and weakness are two completely different things. Kindness is a strength, not a weakness.
@@GaryTongue-zn5di I agree with this statement. In the social media-driven world we live in today where so many people are selfish, fake, manipulative, toxic, untrustworthy, and embrace the victim mentality, those who are genuinely kind and authentically care for others and look out for them are in rare commodity. That being said, you also want to balance that with being able to establish boundaries in a firm yet healthy way. You don’t want to be a toxic asshat, but women find it absolutely sexy when a man draws a line in the sand, it sends the message that he has a lot of dignity/ respect for himself and won’t tolerate bullshit behaviors from others.
I'am nice guy and that's perfect for me because when woman don't give me attention I can earn money for yourself and can travel around world without asking nobody, with 44 years old my health is perfect and I see my friends are jelous because I have many options to do everything 😊😊😊😊
Plus when you start living with them, they re a lot more ugly than dating or each having your own place. They have a childish personality, uninteligent, eats, poops , farts, us single guys might have it better than we think. S.E. asia or even Latin America has more appreciative REAL women.
So guys, don't be assholes, but be assholes 😂
Guys are avoiding women altogether now.
All should until they mature…
Question since when benevolence goes all together with selfishness?
These modern women who say they want the bad boy do so, but usually for hook ups and casul sex. Once they hit 33-35 and they realize the bad boy passes them up for a 18 - twenty something y.o., they will then look for a nice guy who offers them stability.
They never stop wanting the badboy; they simply use the good man for his money while continuing to sleep with the losers. I am nearly 50 and women my age are doing exactly that.
@@chrisandsneaky2453True dat. I am 60 and I have seen women in their 60s doing this still. They keep a “nice” guy boyfriend but will cheat with a sexy bad boy.
Too late by then. Nice guys have moved on.
Value yourself! This applies not just in dating life but also in every interpersonal relationships. The resultant circle may be small but it will be a high quality one.
Yes!
@@DatingByBlaine We need to ban smartphones and all dating apps and will go back like 20 years ago. 20 years ago women were approaching. With an Italian background from Canada. I'm 55, 5.10 average, never married and have no kids. I've given up on women. Today women are on their cell phones 24/7. No one talks face to face anymore. I can't wait till AI will be destroying women and only then will women be begging for men. I have my condo and money so I'll die with my money. Today 90% are insecure and toxic. Relationships are dead, it's all hookups now with high body counts. Women marry to control the marriage so married men end up cheating. Marriage brings nothing for the men. I'm off the market.
Based on my first wife, apparently it's because women prefer a drug addict who beats them.
Nuh, u just attracted low value ones maybe coz u r the same.
So true.
Gee, when I've flat out disagreed about things with my first dates, they often got argumentative and lost interest, realizing we were not compatible on topics they really cared about. Not saying I should have been a simp and agreed with them, just to keep up my chances for a second date. I'm just saying that disagreeing with your date will often lead to her losing interest in you.
Depends what the conversation topic is about. If it is a core foundation like religion, politics, approach to life consider it a good vetting process for yourself. Don't approach dating as trying to win her over, instead approach it from a perspective of what does she bring to the table to keep me interested? If she disagrees with your foundational topics have fun on the date, then filter her out of your life and find somebody who matches you better.
@@Elementalism that's eventually what I did. And, no, I wasn't trying to win her over, because we were already in a serious relationship and in love when shit started to hit the fan on a regular basis with my different opinions and with not necessarily taking her side when she disagreements with other people if I did not agree with her position.
Better yet. If a woman says friend zone, or your a nice guy but, it’s time to walk away permanently.
I like the video, useful tips on self prioritization. I dislike the concept of "friendzone". It's like "don't make a mistake, don't text the wrong thing, don't be too nice" etc, or you'll blow it. Just be yourself.
no the real reason is that ur not a 10 ft tall blonde curly haired blue eyed muscular full hair full beard ultra rich man
Nice guys don’t finish last…. Single mothers do!
Single mothers don't finish at all.
That’s right 😂
😅
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The nice guy dates the single mother. What a combo
Some people chose guys that are a bit rough bad boy type but end up being a battered wife and girlfriend with lawyers and 911 on their cellphone as a result very traumatic
:(
Cope
It is advice like this why decent husband material just stay single
Just discovered your channel and am enjoying your videos. I used to believe being like Nice Guy Nate was being a gentleman, until I dated women who straightened me out. Self priority is extremely important. Great video, BTW!
Thank you! Great realization :) Hope my channel would be a help for you too :)
Don't get me wrong you got alot of very good information but last time I checked sometimes women don't give the best advice on dating women because most women don't even like other women for the most part and most women don't even know what they want but I love knowledge and will listen to anyone so as long as they speak the truth.
I really needed this video. This was very helpful to me. I'm a "nice" guy, and I struggle with women. I've always thought, that it can't be that being a nice guy is what turns women off, because being nice is a positive thing. I can't change who I am, I'm nice, and will always be nice. But I can change other things, like how assertive, and confident, I am. Those are things that I can change, and I know I will see a difference when I make those changes to my life. Because what women actually like is confidence, and not just a guy who's a jerk.
Do yourself a favor…move on. Do nothing more than show interest in someone you like and then move on. Let her decide if she likes you. If she does, then maybe give her a chance. These women think far too highly of themselves. Where good men will work night and day to support a family, women are never working hard at a job to support a family…it is all for themselves.
This video could resume to "don't play her games"
*Nice guys often get overlooked because they don't show their true value. Great insights!*
I love myself and I do whatever i want to do! Anything I do I do it for myself and to improve on myself. I am a free and single man, and it’ll take a great woman for me to give time to her.
Give nice guys a chance and stop automatically labeling them!
Their loss. And if they try to come back mid to late 30’s with some other guy’s kid, it’s gone from a nope to a hell no from me. I don’t think the 25-35 female ‘I’m so full of it even I don’t understand myself’ get this….probably the biggest reason older guys end up with younger women who don’t make this mistake.
Yep, I agree!
Blaine, I just started following you on IG. At almost 44 years old I have very little dating experience and still learning.
Thank you for the follow. I really appreciate it! Not yet too late to learn :)
@@DatingByBlaine I think it's not too late. I worked with a dating coach in 2011 for about 6 months. So something is telling me I still have the desire.
I'm around the same age and started following Blaine about a year ago. She is awesome. Sign up for her class. I wish someone like her was around for me 30 years ago.
I used to be a nice guy, i changed and putted myself first, i also improved in the looks and confidence department. BUT, i have to say that breaking out of this, women won't magically find you attractive, it will be the same life, but you are more comfortible in yourself, if you don't have any leads after you transform then you are in for a long run, and knowing that you don't get leads BUT don't want to be that "nice guy" either...yeah, you are trapped in a circle until you get leads somehow. It will get you no leads, but at least you'll be in a match better place if opportonuties present themeselves.
Peace
Oh, and yes, one thing I want to add is that softness is extremely important to me. Speaking your mind is one thing, trying to teach others what is wrong with them and their lives quite another! I reject all people with harsh attitudes who think it is more important to tell what they see than actually listen to the other person and try to understand them.
And yes, I am egicentric and tend to focus on myself as an autistic person, but if another person turn to me with their problems, I try to validate them and listen to their stories rather than try to find solutions to them or preach what they should do or judge them for being overwhelmed or down. For me, this has to do with basic respect.
This was the best explanation I have heard so far. I have seen so many videos trying to explain these words where it seems to be a strong conservative bias which is extremely annoying.
These "nice guys" phrase is just one of these vage, broad stupid phrases and labels that are used that can be interpreted in tons of different ways and people often take advantage of such words to mean whatever benefits their own agenda.
When it comes to the interaction with another person, I tend to talk a lot of myself and my own interests and then I have been told to show interest by asking questions. But surprisingly, my questions some times scare more people away than if I had continued to talk about whether came to my mind. "What sexes do your children have?", "Why was marriage so important to you? ...for practical reasons? Because you had kids together? And why did you wait? Because it would be more difficult to part ways of your relationship took a turn to the worse?", "Have you been robbing many banks recently?" etc. There is always something wrong with my questions in the eyes of others, it seems.
I would never accept a woman who puts herself on a piedestal and thinks that since I am the guy, I have to lead the conversation or take all the initiatives. I know my value. I am not an entertainer and I will not try to convince anyone of anything; I am a human being!
When it comes to taking care of my own life and get everything to work, it would be helpful if our society stopped treat me as an autistic person like a patient that needs rehabilitation rather than a person what special needs. If I sat in Wheelchair people wouldn't say that I need training so that I can walk again. But when it comes to us with autism, it is actually often we who can do practically everything ourselves and are reasonably intelligent who struggle the most, because we are treated like addicts needing to change habits despite the fact the autism cannot be cured. I don't feel ashamed for saying that I receive weekly help and support and help in my home because I am autistic, but it feels debasing to say that 46 y.o. I am still struggling to get my everyday life to work. More independence in the eyes of our society, in reality, makes us more handicaped and less able to live a full life and make progress and reach our personal goals.
To be honest, I also find women who put themselves first more attractive. I don't want her to be support person who takes care of her own business, but doesn't need me in my life! If I have something to add to your life, take what you want from me given that I can provide it! It's extremely unattractive when women try to figure out what kind of a person I am, but don't show me their own feelings, struggles and needs.
However, the video doesn't mention sexual attraction. One thing that annoys me is that when it comes to sex, men are not supposed to explain their personal needs. I refuse to conform to that and always say how it is right away after a conversation about sex has been opened. I often hear that women are attractive to more masculine men, but "masculinity" comes in many different shapes and forms. I think there is something to this, but a man who is less masculine in nature, can't change his personality to attract more women. Not only does he become a people pleaser, but trying to be something that goes against how you truly are can be detrimental to your mental health.
It should be mentioned though that my problem is not going on dates and being put in "friend zone", but that I don't get to meet women at all - I have been on two dates for the last twenty years and I have almost no female friends anymore and I don't meet women in my daily life. Also, I am not exclusively looking for a "serious" relationship, but pretty much everything except text buddies who always never prioritize meeting me in person and engaging in activities with me. I have had enough if the latter (this applies to make friends too)!
WTF Blaine how'd you find Where's Waldo as your nice guy example🤣🤣 that's awesome. Great vid!
Hahaha. Secret. And thank you!
I´ve come across a lot of what others would consider "Model Looking" women, and can tell you first hand that they have a lot of insecurities . Don´t be that guy who puts her on a pedestool, she´s just as human as you, mutual respect, be there for her as she´s there for you. Don´t be afraid to say no or have a backbone, don´t be an ass, it´s just as off putting as a woman being a B....
As a guy, she´s actually on point with this!
To be honest, being nice is a trait that kicks off a good first impression. Why 'treat them mean, to keep them keen' at the risk of turning them off entirely. Having said that don't cave and agree and pay for everything...be yourself, make her laugh and simply don't expect anything. Be prepared to walk away the moment she shows signs of doubt. Nothing wrong with enjoying your own company also. \m/
The amount of times I've had women telling me how boring their boyfriends are and how they are sick of them being so nice, I've tried explaining to them how that is a good thing and if your boyfriend was a jealous arse hole who battered you and didn't let you hang out with your mates you would not like that either, the reply I got was yeah well he could care a bit more so I said you are at another blokes house at 6 in the morning and you are complaining cos your boyfriend is not kicking off about it 😜 honestly I will never understand women as long as i live 😜
This is awesome! Love the nuance and deep understanding you have!
I appreciate that, thanks!!
@@DatingByBlaine IAM not putting on some fake attitude some fake stuff just cause she wants to be ran through until men no longer want them and she ready to settle down with a real man who just don't wanna use her for a quick fling
I personally find it absolutely puzzling that someone who thinks that being nice is a sign of a weak individual....I'm a nice man yet when I'm taken advantage of or perhaps even thrown "under the bus " you are definitely going to witness the other side of me.....As nice as I am...I am just as evil...
I totally agree with you! Being nice is a lot more nuanced than most of these UA-camrs with their black and white thinking opinions. Well articulated, great coaching.
But being an asshole has no nuances - women always like it.
I can’t concentrate watching this video because you’re awesome
I think what she was really trying to say is Dont act too desperate, be Independent. And act like you can get any girl any time. All traits of a person who IS good looking. So if I do this at 5 ft. 7, ignore your calls for an hour, be more selfish and cocky, than Im gonna be attractive enough for you right????😮 Right???
Does introversion risk seeming like "being a simp"? Would love a video about introverts.
It puts me at ease to listen and walk around in someon else's world when we're just meeting. I learn whether there's a fit for me there. That's a huge value going forward.
I get lots of positive feedback/gratitude on this, but can't think of attractive women that seemed to like it.
Daniel, great Q! I'd think of being introverted and "simping" as distinct concepts. The type of listening you described is actually a huge asset dating-wise, and doesn't inherently imply simping IMO. One thing that may help is pushing yourself to share reactions after you listen, particularly if you don't agree with something a woman said
@@DatingByBlaine Being "introverted" or "ambiverted" is another ball park than "simping". You can still be assertive etc ...From my expierence, being "introverted" has more benefits generally than "extroverts". "Extroverts" want to be center front of attention usually while an "introverted/ambivert" will be a good active listener...Too many people slap labels too quickly...
I´ll give you a list and then tell me otherwise that they don´t get women, this will also help a lot of men as well with the label "introverted"...
Michael Jordan is an introvert.
Elon Musk is a self-proclaimed introvert
Johnny Depp is actually an introvert
Keanu Reeves is an introvert
Tom Hardy
The Weeknd is definitely an introvert. The Canadian singer has once said that he’s shy and doesn’t like to be in the spotlight. That doesn’t mean he isn’t confident, though.
Eminem
Matt Damon
Jay-Z (He´s with Beyonce, who is also an "introvert")
Yes, while I listed a few "introverts", the point is, they get women. Sure they get women possibly because of celeb status, however you will notice a lot of them have also been married for several years , so they know how to keep....
Talking less would make you more of a mystery. Apparently women like that and find it attractive. I wouldn't worry about it looking like simping unless you're just being a yes man with her and agreeing with everything she says.
I wonder how many guys she has in the friend zone and is okay with it? It won't matter too much longer because men are going their own way MGTOW
The issue of "nice guys" is about women need for a provider no matter how bad he is, bcs they see the issue of sociale behavior theirs to inculcate to men
Thank you for explaining this. However, some women want the man to plan the date to for him to prove leadership, and such. Okay, fine, but the catch would be IF I would take her to a place or activity she does not like. Well I am kinda screwed, because that would kind of ruin her hopeful impression about me, turned negatively. It would be much better just to ask what she would like to do as well? Apparently not. They do not want to think about the plans, that is a mans job. But would later complain about it when its not her "thing" . If she did not like where we went or activity we did. She should have given her input from the very beginning. There is always a contradiction in thinking when it comes to women. Is it being a nice guy to ask what she would like to do so both man and women enjoy each others company?? I guess not.
The hunter who doesn't give away his catch can actually provide for his family. The nice hunter who gave it away failed to provide for his family.
Facts.
Except this isn't how those societies worked. The "nice" hunter cooperated with the other hunters so they would be successful and they shared their catch to provide for the entire group. The asshole was kicked out of the group because surviving required cooperation.
the world without genuine kind people, not just men, would be a world riddled with war, cruelty and evil. Is that what people want? Seriously, i always try to be kind, decent and helpful to everyone from humans to animals, and while i will never be attractive or cool or rich or whatever, i am content and happy to live a life in giving and helping. Giving genuine love to others despite never getting it back is a hard thing to do but it is the right thing to do.
The friend zone is great, a lot less pressure and expense.
Blaine, though what some of what you say makes sense. Compared to me it doesn't make sense. When I go out by myself, I go where I want to go. There's no one else here to tell her I'm going here or there. The last lady I took to lunch, I chose the spot, and said let's go to such and such. I paid, because I'm a gentleman. I treated her nice, polite. Later I mean another day as we dated, I would disagree with her like you said and it turned into an argument, every time just about it turned into an argument. She wouldn't take advice I had given her, however later finally told me I was right, she should've listened to me. Now she's with a man that she's totally submissive to. What the HELL? Why is she submissive to him? But argues with me? Please contact me and tell me.
basically.. women want what they must strive to achieve. if something comes too easily, women will go the other way. but not all women are like this. just the weak, easily swayed, lacking personal direction ones. i'm quite sure that a woman who actually knows what she wants will not be dissuaded by a man who is caring.
The idea of a man that puts his woman ahead of his own needs I'd say is most often a fantasy. I don't know of any man that does that.
If a woman is playing these sorts of games, better to just find another that isn't.
Great video coming from a nice guy! I appreciate the tips that you gave and I am looking forward to implementing them into my dating life
Don't be a nice guy. Be a good man
You shouldn't aim to be an a**hole but if are perceived as one, then it is much better than being a nice guy. Trust me I have been both and being the nice guy is a horrible way to live
If you're nice and get nothing, resentment builds. If you're an asshole and get nothing, then you stay true to yourself. Again, to not try to be an asshole. Simply state your needs wants and desires. If they can't match you, then that's OK
This was some good stuff, thanks! Sometimes I put the girl too much above myself and I've been trying to work on that.
Holy shit. Im Nate. 🤯
Thank you for finally putting this in a way that I can see it. Clearly, I have a lot of work to do.
"No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover
My thoughts, for what little they're worth 🤪. There's a big difference between helping someone in need and letting someone bully you. If you're the type of person who puts others needs above your own and those people actually need your help, I think that's very attractive to most people. For example, sacrificing some of your relaxation time to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Doing that is putting others' needs above your own but I think that's awesome and very attractive.
This is very different from if some asshole is demanding something they don't deserve but you just go along with it because you want to avoid conflict and it's easier to just give in. That's very unattractive because it's really a lack a courage. By letting someone bully you, you aren't being nice to them. You're just being a coward. That's very unattractive.
I personally think that trying to "not be too nice" is the wrong thing to focus on. Yes, don't let people be mean to you without challenging them. Stand up for yourself. And I agree that you shouldn't spend tons of money on a first date because it can make the other person feel like they owe you something.
But if you were really kind to someone on a date and they rejected you, I seriously doubt that it's because they think you put other people's needs above your own. I'd expect it's more like they have specific preferences for their partners' personality type, sense of humor, physical appearance, achievements, communication style etc. I just don't think it's because they think someone is too generous to others. Because I think generosity and helping those in need is a great thing (not talking about people taking advantage of you).
If a woman seems to date assholes, those assholes are probably very physically attractive, maybe have a lot of money, and likely don't present themselves as assholes at first. They are probably good at appearing kind at first and wait until later to show their more negative traits. It's not their selfishness that was attractive. Women who truly want someone selfish probably have self esteem issues, and you don't want to focus on them anyway.
So my advice, as worthless as it is haha: If you get rejected this way, just focus on becoming the best version of yourself according to what you think is best, and find someone else. You likely just weren't compatible. Don't think about being more self interested.
Quite wise I think.
Agreed 100%!
Super thoughtful, Kevin!
Something leads me to believe that this lady is okay with being friends with nice guys but that's only because she wants to get the resources and money by pulling him along and using him
Right, women are attracted to that. Now folks just remember that attraction is the most horrible foundation for a relationship. Compatibility is what you should be aspiring to have. Someone with whom you can be transparent, give feedback and receive it, someone who respects you and gives you an environment to thrive and find wellness. Things that you wont find if you live by what this video shares.
Tried that selfish act stuff , Doesn't work , especially Number Two , On Number One , started reading books , Gym , Salsa dancing lessons , In Number Two the moment I disagree with a woman even proving that I was right and she admitting that she was wrong , BooM , DATE OVER ........at least twice
That’s were you went wrong. Stop getting into I’m right discussions. That is not attractive. Ed Mylett says “it is not your job to make people believe what you say: it is your job to show people you believe what you say. “ you can show you have your opinion without arguing. Good luck friend
does it apply in India dynamics here are little different
Thanks for the explanation!
Glad it was helpful!
Excellent video, thank you!!!
Another way to say this: People confuse correlation with causation - in general, it isn't being nice that's unattractive or being bad that's attractive, it's other things that those guys tend to do that make the difference. It's best to be a good guy and know the things women find attractive.
If women want to be beaten up, no problem. Finally we can do what we want.
Amazing video. You've recognized alot of flaws I have in myself.
Awww. Thank you. Not yet too late to do something about those flaws :)
@@DatingByBlaine you're right. Thank you:)
No women want nice guys to pay the bill while Chad and Tyrone are still pumping and dumping
i wonder if you got an episode on vetting the right women for you. i been running into a lot of not so great women but they dont show those bad signs until later.
Define “Nice Guy”
How are You gonna say something to a Woman that she disagrees with You in a date if You can't get a girl to go on a date with You if You're a "" Nice Guy"" and women don't date "" Nice Guys"" ???
I had exactly that thought several times through this vid. I don't even know who this vid was aimed at. Not the nice guys who get friend-zoned but no dates, not the bad boys who are gonna get laid without Blaine's advice, not Joe Average who has a cloak of invisibility as far as women are concerned, and not the poor b's on the bottom rungs of the rating ladder. Who does that leave?
Great video
And if you don't have a goal ?
Great video as usual Blaine. But what's with that background music 😊
Thank you! What can you say about the background music?
What chance do have if women keep saying you are ugly no chance at all even my own sister said I was to ugly to get a girlfriend she was right
I think there’s a stark contrast between a quality masculine man and your average nice guy. The masculine man oozes confidence, underpinned by rock-solid integrity and a killer sense of purpose. He’s not just nice; he’s genuinely kind, but with an edge of ambition and a sense of humor that makes interactions magnetic. Emotional intelligence? He’s got it in spades, balancing empathy with self-assurance and a polished physical presence. He knows his worth and doesn’t just play the support role-he actively uplifts and encourages. In contrast, the nice guy, while well-meaning, often struggles with self-confidence and ambition. His kindness can veer into passivity, and his emotional intelligence might falter when handling his own needs. He might lack the passion and assertiveness that make the masculine man not just attractive but compelling. It’s the difference between being someone who is pleasant to be around and someone who commands respect and admiration.
She's right. She does not recommend being a selfish asshole. She says to be kind and considerate, yet put your own interests first. Don't be afraid to disagree. Don't be a doormat. Stand up for what you believe. This will make women respect you, and without respect, there is no sexual attraction. Someone who is too agreeable can't be trusted. If you never say 'no', all your 'yesses' are meaningless.
I think 'nice' is not the appropriate word here, because niceness is necessary. Noone likes jerks. The appropriate word here is 'boring' or 'annoying'. If a woman knows exactly what you are going to think, say or do because your behavior is predictable, that makes you a boring and annoying person to be with, and also someone who is probably not honest and behaves the way he does just to seem more lovable or a more perfect match for the woman. I understand that women hate this. Just as men hate when a woman behaves the same way.
Nice Guys Don't Finish Last , Dating Coaches and Social Media tell women To Ignore Them and Not Date Them !!!
I can sum it up quickly using the title of a Country song, girls want "A Lot Less Talk and a Lot More Action"!
Amazing vid. This topic sounds familiar. Thanks for posting this extremely helpful advice.
I disagree with all of it though.
JK just practicing.
lol
49 year old man here …. This video is goofy 👎🏼👎🏼
finishing last is a good thing. do you really want to spend your life with a guy that just finishes within the first minute?
We don’t finish last at being nice.
Head spinning headache ahhhh.
Blaine i love you❤
I do not understand this current dating culture; actually, it infuriates me. Why is there a need to play mind games? Why can't both a man and woman put all their cards on the table and just be real with one another with their innate personalities? Why must a woman "test" a man in this manner that you described? Based on the information that was presented in this video, is it safe to infer that the majority of women are self-absorbed egomaniacal narcissists who have weaponized their beauty in order to get what they want (or think they want)? I think so. However, once women lose their trump card (looks) typically after age 55, their egos erode and they seek companionship above anything else because their sexual value greatly diminishes in the dating marketplace.
Bro all you said is just fact and I have done a lot of research about "dark female nature" and I have also red a lot of ebook about dark female nature and all this is what you still experience in most women during marriage. It's very important for men to know about dark female nature and know how to be smart when dealing with women.
interesting. good tips
good points 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Nice guys finish last - when it comes to selfish and shallow people judging them. The women who have wised up and realized the errors of their ways in time to keep their nice guy never regret it. Stop encouraging idiots to reject nice guys. It only exacerbates the shallowness problem we have in this world.
This "coach" is full of it. Yea, I am sure the guy who stuffs his own face and basically ignores the woman is a real "catch" for the long term.
Nice guys come 🥇
Arrgh..the "Vocal Fry" in the audio is deafening!
Stop watching this, I have the answer - woman like this prefer having one foot out the door , so if any ANYTHING minor happens, they can ditch and move on to the next guy. Nice guys generally don't do anything wrong, so women find themselves having to choose between actually being happy or seeing what else is out there. Woman don't want happiness, they want excitement.
Nice guys generally do EVERYTHING wrong because they treat a woman the way they think a woman should want to be treated. The a-hole treats them the way they actually want to be treated. You can’t actually make someone happy but you can get them excited!
* "Women want the finished product in men, they are not willing to go through this with him. His growing into life process", and another reason for men to step away from "those women". The "nice guy" and the "Simp" are a description of a good person growing up, and if you don't like it then you can't complain "where have all the good men gone"!!! A good therapist would know this.
* The "self-interest" comment is another double standard for women. Where she doesn't like it when he has self-interest, but it's okay if she does.
*** All this shows us that women are going through some intense growing pains, and us men need to step away from them as they go through this. OR get caught up in the destruction of their tornado. This is going to last about 10 years. So guys, find something else to do in that time... Independent men will love that "Freedom". And guys that love the companionship of women, need to join men's groups and keep busy.
Go in peace.
Make a video on nice girls pls
I think another thing nice guys don't always realize about themselves, but women definitely notice, is that they think their "nice" behaviors entitle them to immediate sex or a relationship.
This used to be me. I thought that getting a girl some special gift for her birthday/Xmas would be a clear sign and she'd then reciprocate with a date. That's just not how it works, and once you realize your own motives you also realize what you're doing isn't a nice gift, it's an implicit transaction.
Modern dudes need to realize that brief moments of fake politeness or big spending on a date aren't the only alternative to being an a-hole, and most of all stop blaming women because they don't care for what we're offering. It's ok and healthy to take personal responsibility and better ourselves WITHOUT expecting immediate gratification after step 1.
+1 great callout. Checking certain boxes (e.g. good career, good person) doesn't directly translate to dating success. These are necessary but not sufficient conditions :)
How do I get laid then? Asking women for sex hasn't worked.
Women give those things instantly to losers and badboys, so why shouldn't good men expect it? We should be treated BETTER than the trash, but women invert that and treat garbage men like kings while crapping on good ones. If you let a woman string you along, not giving you what she freely and immediately gave to assholes, you're a damned fool.
Coffee date at best. Or, if you have a favorite sports team you’d like to see, then invite her along. If she wants to go, great. If not, take a buddy.
Even as a positive, “nice” is pretty lackluster. If that’s your main feat, you want to be “Great”, not “Nice”. It goes without saying that no girl would ever want to go out with someone that isn’t nice anyway… (well at least to her that is 😂).
I think when we hear this we should rather be reading “shy”, “soft”, “not enough”, “no sex appeal”, or something like this. Which likely means not confident enough or not as direct, flirty or pushing things as you should be with that girl.
If I say a girl is “nice” as a first qualificative, I certainly wasn’t into her, and probably will not see her again (if I was looking for a date). Things goes both ways. Often ask yourself “what if it was me” resets the reason and it answers a lot of questions!
Maybe it's a better idea to teach girls moral values and to learn to chose a partner based on logic instead of hormones and emotions. And maybe we can save our civilization that way.
Haha, but what if you genuinely agree with her answer?
The issue, is that "nice guys" are not actually nice..... now let me explain.
The guys who are labelled as "nice guys" are those, who will do everything to a girl, a shoulder to cry on as she described, and i have seen things guys do that really are embarrassing just to have a chance with a girl .... think of it like watching national geography.
These same type of guys, won't be this nice to another guy, to an elderly, at work, but once they see a girl they like ... game over!
So simply girls who are genuine see that and want someone normal. Whereas girls who are crazy look for something more adventurous as this is boring, and the supply of such men is "buy one get 5 for free chasing you".
Poor Nate !
Well I have a split personality, I was born and raised a Nice Guy 😇 and at the same time I have the ability to be an asshole/jerk 👹 (only when there's a bunch of Assholes and jerks around me) and I promise you you're not gonna like it! Trust me!!! I know myself than my parents does. A nice guy inside of me is much better than the other one! And He always Prevail because he's a nice guy. But IF being an Asshole/Jerk will be the only thing to make any Women so friggin happy then I can be an asshole/jerk at any moment it's like a Shift on the Fly.
The men women are attracted to is sum'd up by the sugar hill gang- " hotel motel holiday inn.
If your girl starts acting up then you take her friend"
I really don't see how this video required 9 minutes and 28 seconds....sheesh..
This a long range run. Bad boys abandon women in the first three to five years. Leaving their children traumatized without a father to guide them in this evil
world. The they want a a good guy who take care of this broken family. This is very stupid. Men need to reject these women until they find a good and humble woman interested in raising a family with love. It is not that difficult.
Bro most girls are traumatized and are also narcissistic by nature.
This says a lot about women! No wonder why transmen are becoming the better women