FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: ua-cam.com/channels/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1g.htmljoin Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
I Wish i had a Brother like you. You are so right. People think It s ok to treat people badly. I prefer being alone rather than accept rude people around me. Thank you ❤
1. Fleaky behaviour 2. Complaining 3. Not saying what you want. Reject. Dismiss. Men are not mind readers. 4. Talking negatively about exes. 5. Making little to no effort. Wonderful insights! ..like always. ❤
@@lisam6907 yes! Exactly! And without any sense of familiarity you are expected to be all physically passionate in first two meetings. :) I feel rather they are desperate.
Even though it has been about 39-40 years since I dated, the guys I have dated in my 20s were so nice and kind, and always asked what I would like. I always told them and we always had a great time. I am learning about the current dating situations. From what I am learning about from you, it seems the gals are sitting back and not connecting with the guys on many levels. After having a happy successful marriage of 36 years and a year dating, we shared the effort and we both appreciated and respected one another. You nailed the topic!
Great idea on the first phone call. The first call 📞 I know he’s not right and still go on the first date lol. Not anymore! I can’t stand when men talk about the last girlfriend 🙄Thank you!
I agree men expect more appreciation. A guy gave me roses, and I hugged him and told him thank you they are so beautiful. And then two weeks later, he told me I didn’t appreciate his roses that I didn’t show appreciation for his effort. What else was I supposed to do?
Cautionary tale...my ex boss "sat in her feminine" the whole time she was dating her online beau. He organised EVERYTHING. He was happy to, from where the next date would be to what meat they would cook that night. She was in HEAVEN. They are now married...and he is a controlling tyrant who explodes if she tries to have any input into decisions. He refused to allow her to have a wedding cake, even, because "we've both worked so hard to get fit and trim, why go and spoil it by stuffing our faces at the wedding". He lays out what she is going to wear the next day. He limits how often her daughter can call her...she has no idea what account their money goes into or how many accounts there are... yikes! Now, sitting in my feminine = relinquishing my power and self-determination. Not only that, but it allows a guy to think you're just A-OK with having a puppeteer.
He's probably a narcissist, and before anyone says you can't label everyone a narcissist, I have studied the disorder for over 5 years (because I lived it) and this is textbook behavior.
Try starting by writing a daily gratitude list. 3-5 things you are grateful for. It helps many people look at the world through positive eyes. I always offer to pay the tip. The man is always impressed, actually shocked and he never lets me pay.
The absolute truth is a man who is into a woman for a long term partnership will do everything he can to spend time with her. I can say this though-if you are willing to back off of asking and relax and be fun to hang with, there’s a very good chance you’ll get what you want. 😉
Question: I have dated a wonderful man for a year. We have a great time but what concerns me is he still has a connection with his ex wife that cheated on him and left him 10 years ago. Am I wrong to ask him to disconnect with her and show me that he has closed that connection and to stop talking about her.
Good video! I always "appreciate" Janelle's honesty and integrity - it shines through her eyes. Thank you for addressing her confidence issues. It helps us all.😊
I don't necessarily think taking it slow is a bad thing. If you haven't watched the video Love Bombing Ourselves by Rushing Intimacy and Creating Instant Relationships / Attachment Trauma, by Alan Robarge, it is one of the best videos I've ever seen on UA-cam. It's especially great for co-dependents and people with anxious or fearful attachment styles.
The guy I was dating for 3 months said he wanted to go slow and keep things casual but all the things he did acted like what a boyfriend would do. I wish I would have known!! I just thought he needed more time I didn't know he was going to break up with me even after taking me to Florida twice!! I'm still dumbfounded.
I believe your right taking it slow is a good thing because if you don’t have sex and just be friends and enjoy your friendship always give yourself an expiration time either 1 year or 2
It's usually the people with attachment issues who don't really know what they want. Unfortunately, it's just another lesson learned. When we know better, we do better. 😉
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Question: when we are both hyper sensitive about giving more effort and it is compounded with a breakdown of healthy communication… why should I want a relationship with where I am being treated with disrespect and lack of effort?
I think here is something fairly typical about men that doesn't happen to women & is perplexing to us. Jonathon has decided that he's ready for a committed relationship & will choose the best candidate that crosses his path. For women, on the other hand, they fall in love, or don't, & choose on that basis. So men make it a rational decision & even if in love, won't commit until they're in a certain mindset. What is that mindset? There's something about that readiness, but what?
This was a brilliant reading which I thoroughly enjoyed. Can relate to many things you say and what I myself have also experienced, while I'm learning a lot here. Thank you 😅😊❤
Jonathon I felt that you didn’t treat Mel Stillers question with much sensitivity. People in their seventies do want to meet a partner too, and they are aware ageism is ever present. Pickle ball is often played by younger people rather than older ones in my experience 😀🙏
I don't like mistakes I'm a masculine female so I think I'm allergic to play all the time I am more in touch with my emotions like I'm supposed to be but I was trying to be like a 60 or 70s female and just looked in my mouth shut and let somebody do whatever they want or me and treat me really fast so I don't do that anymore but especially physically or mentally and I don't like being attacked and all that sexy stuff from the 60s and 70s does not work anymore and people are more equal and so I don't like it when people do things like that
what do you mean with, when woman make no effort? Isn`t it for men less attractive, when it is to clear and easy to assume she likes you, because she arranges everything to see him? I experienced that men like to chase and if they dont have to - she is less attractive to them? am I wrong? my experience is, that these men who are really interested in you as a person, they try to get into contact and ask you for dates.
Uh oh Jonathon. Now I know why I'm single. I was one of those princesses. Felt entitled, no putting in the work. I would sit there thinking " look at me", " look at me" and enjoy all the great compliments that men gave me. I was soo shallow. That was in my younger years. Now I'm old and no one will look at me. Lol. Quite frankly I'm beyond the dating years but what you are saying is so true. I'm so glad that you speak about this to help other ladies! Where were you when I was young????? 😂
@@JonathonAslay I was shocked he didn’t want to hug me (hugged me a long time ago). I did get the massage I asked for though. I’m becoming a beck and call girl. Time to take the duct tape off.
Hi Jonathan. You mentioned a woman in her '70s that was doing a lot of dating. Do you by any chance know the dating sites that she recommends. Thank you I appreciate the help
Gee, Jonathan, the more I listen to you the more the I learn. I sure wish we lived closer, I would love to meet you. You tell it like it is. I personally think you would be a wonderful date.
You have alot of good content, but I'm sorry - if a man asks me out on a date- I say "THANK YOU" EVERY FUCKING TIME! But there's no way in hell I'm offering my presence up & oh- "Let ME pay YOU to impress ME!" 🤦♀️
I choose to treat people well and you are so right so many feel that it’s ok to treat people in a way that is so close to abuse. Horrible and women in my country often treat people badly.
Personal question: are your eyeglasses driving you crazy I wear glasses and I have since the fourth grade. It’s my observation that the lens for your right eye is not made properly. Did you have Botox such that it affected the muscle in your right eye? Are the eyeglass frames fitting you properly? Is the right ear stem pulling the right side too close to the eyeball such that the vision you’re getting is not correct. So that is that. Go back to your good ophthalmologist if your glasses are bothering you and get them fixed. Karen doom Long Island
it was in a book. forgot title. he and his wife were done having children, but anyway they had one more. named her Spring. She was blessed with a beautiful singing voice. I think that the spirit Moved Mrs D. Wish I could remember the title. A collection. @@JonathonAslay
A lot of people are emotionally constipated as you say, Jonathan. Most people do not know how to be present and natural. I am not on any dating sites not a good profile writer. Don't know how to sell😂
Yes to all the things you said, I’m a Leo too and feel the same way when it comes to partnerships, why are people in my case men so closed off , well I know why 😏. The best way is to be honest, speak your truth, say / ask for what you want I hate the guessing game. I’m meeting a guy this weekend, which so far fits the bill , but keeping an open mind.. which me luck 😜
Good presentation as always ...I just heard the word, "emailing me" from something you read out. Red flag indeed! Now, who emails nowadays for dating purposes other than scammers?! The comment alone is weird. I'm quite astounded by the behaviours and thoughts of some people...Really, the sentence, "like stealing candy from a baby", comes to mind
FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com
The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/
Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations
Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/
Join this channel to get access to perks:
ua-cam.com/channels/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1g.htmljoin
Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
Abundance makes dating more difficult. People are overwhelmed with choices and, with dating apps, they treat it almost like shopping.
Yes
I Wish i had a Brother like you. You are so right. People think It s ok to treat people badly. I prefer being alone rather than accept rude people around me. Thank you ❤
1. Fleaky behaviour
2. Complaining
3. Not saying what you want. Reject. Dismiss. Men are not mind readers.
4. Talking negatively about exes.
5. Making little to no effort.
Wonderful insights! ..like always. ❤
Exactly 💯
I think this obviously goes for both gender roles. I saw this behavior in the last man I dated.
Even the men say let the man LEAD by making consistent effort.
Please make a video on different ways to have Transactional relationship 👍
Have seen this movie before numerous times, Alina.
I think these days men hate the most if you say both should know each other a bit before getting intimate 😂
Agreed it’s like they get offended and take it as rejection but really its all part of the dating process
@@lisam6907 yes! Exactly! And without any sense of familiarity you are expected to be all physically passionate in first two meetings. :) I feel rather they are desperate.
@@juhichaudhary3657 haha yes! I question their moral code as well at that point and the spidey senses call desperation like you said
Exactly. They don't want to participate in the process itself.
@@lisam6907 so agree with you! :)
Even though it has been about 39-40 years since I dated, the guys I have dated in my 20s were so nice and kind, and always asked what I would like. I always told them and we always had a great time. I am learning about the current dating situations. From what I am learning about from you, it seems the gals are sitting back and not connecting with the guys on many levels. After having a happy successful marriage of 36 years and a year dating, we shared the effort and we both appreciated and respected one another. You nailed the topic!
Oh, I’m so glad you are realizing what men are doing out there! 🙏🏻 😊
Always!
Thanks!
Awe... thank you 😊
Jonathan, I think you need a big hug ❤
Great idea on the first phone call. The first call 📞 I know he’s not right and still go on the first date lol. Not anymore! I can’t stand when men talk about the last girlfriend 🙄Thank you!
Exactly
I agree men expect more appreciation. A guy gave me roses, and I hugged him and told him thank you they are so beautiful. And then two weeks later, he told me I didn’t appreciate his roses that I didn’t show appreciation for his effort.
What else was I supposed to do?
Red flag?
As a woman, these are turnoffs for me when a man shows any of them!!!
Yes, they go both ways.
Casual relationships are ruining everything, and it's why I moved away from dating apps. The standard needs to be what aligns with your own values.
Cautionary tale...my ex boss "sat in her feminine" the whole time she was dating her online beau. He organised EVERYTHING. He was happy to, from where the next date would be to what meat they would cook that night. She was in HEAVEN. They are now married...and he is a controlling tyrant who explodes if she tries to have any input into decisions. He refused to allow her to have a wedding cake, even, because "we've both worked so hard to get fit and trim, why go and spoil it by stuffing our faces at the wedding". He lays out what she is going to wear the next day. He limits how often her daughter can call her...she has no idea what account their money goes into or how many accounts there are... yikes! Now, sitting in my feminine = relinquishing my power and self-determination. Not only that, but it allows a guy to think you're just A-OK with having a puppeteer.
He sucks 😮
He's probably a narcissist, and before anyone says you can't label everyone a narcissist, I have studied the disorder for over 5 years (because I lived it) and this is textbook behavior.
@@1991windsor Can't say you're wrong.
Sounds like "🍑🕳️" behavior!!
God's blessings to all Amen 🍀🙏😇😇🙏😇🙏
Try starting by writing a daily gratitude list. 3-5 things you are grateful for. It helps many people look at the world through positive eyes. I always offer to pay the tip. The man is always impressed, actually shocked and he never lets me pay.
I agree Jonathon. I have started to speak up in small ways.
Abusers and users struggle with having respect for themselves, never mind others.
The absolute truth is a man who is into a woman for a long term partnership will do everything he can to spend time with her. I can say this though-if you are willing to back off of asking and relax and be fun to hang with, there’s a very good chance you’ll get what you want. 😉
Love your content. I’m glad I stumbled across your channel.
Glad you enjoy it!
Thank you for answering my question! You're such a big help
Happy to help!
Question: I have dated a wonderful man for a year. We have a great time but what concerns me is he still has a connection with his ex wife that cheated on him and left him 10 years ago. Am I wrong to ask him to disconnect with her and show me that he has closed that connection and to stop talking about her.
Does he want to change Jennifer?
You have the right to ask anything since you're involved with him.
Jonathon I vent but I do something about it . Men must be prepared to admit when they are wrong.
It’s attitude
Indeed
S-T-O-P new word I-T 😂 I watched the clip you mentioned. Profound 🧐. I should just “stop it” 😅
Extremely attractive women do put in effort when they are actually attracted to someone.
On each date we talked about exes then he’d say enough talk about exes then we’d drop it lol
It's not about talking about exes. It's about how you healed from the past relationship.
Thanks, Jonathan! This video was really helpful. 💙
You're very welcome 🙏
@@JonathonAslay ✨💙🙏🏻
Good video! I always "appreciate" Janelle's honesty and integrity - it shines through her eyes. Thank you for addressing her confidence issues. It helps us all.😊
Well said!
Thank you so much!😊
I don't necessarily think taking it slow is a bad thing. If you haven't watched the video Love Bombing Ourselves by Rushing Intimacy and Creating Instant Relationships / Attachment Trauma, by Alan Robarge, it is one of the best videos I've ever seen on UA-cam. It's especially great for co-dependents and people with anxious or fearful attachment styles.
The guy I was dating for 3 months said he wanted to go slow and keep things casual but all the things he did acted like what a boyfriend would do. I wish I would have known!! I just thought he needed more time I didn't know he was going to break up with me even after taking me to Florida twice!! I'm still dumbfounded.
I believe your right taking it slow is a good thing because if you don’t have sex and just be friends and enjoy your friendship always give yourself an expiration time either 1 year or 2
It's usually the people with attachment issues who don't really know what they want. Unfortunately, it's just another lesson learned. When we know better, we do better. 😉
That’s right Jonathon. He made it clear no relationship but keeps dating me.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
@@JanMuench467 Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
@@JanMuench467 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now telegram. impressive
Question: when we are both hyper sensitive about giving more effort and it is compounded with a breakdown of healthy communication… why should I want a relationship with where I am being treated with disrespect and lack of effort?
You shouldn't want it... why do you accept it? Is a better question
I think here is something fairly typical about men that doesn't happen to women & is perplexing to us. Jonathon has decided that he's ready for a committed relationship & will choose the best candidate that crosses his path. For women, on the other hand, they fall in love, or don't, & choose on that basis. So men make it a rational decision & even if in love, won't commit until they're in a certain mindset. What is that mindset? There's something about that readiness, but what?
This was a brilliant reading which I thoroughly enjoyed. Can relate to many things you say and what I myself have also experienced, while I'm learning a lot here. Thank you 😅😊❤
You are so welcome
I agree Jonathon the game playing is stupid. I answer texts right way. Lol
SPOT ON JOHNATHAN 😊
Jonathon I felt that you didn’t treat Mel Stillers question with much sensitivity. People in their seventies do want to meet a partner too, and they are aware ageism is ever present. Pickle ball is often played by younger people rather than older ones in my experience 😀🙏
From what I understand, Pickball is played by a lot of 70 and 80 year Olds.
Truth❤❤
I don't like mistakes I'm a masculine female so I think I'm allergic to play all the time I am more in touch with my emotions like I'm supposed to be but I was trying to be like a 60 or 70s female and just looked in my mouth shut and let somebody do whatever they want or me and treat me really fast so I don't do that anymore but especially physically or mentally and I don't like being attacked and all that sexy stuff from the 60s and 70s does not work anymore and people are more equal and so I don't like it when people do things like that
Ome Republic: the song that ess rattling in your head😁
Yes. Too many people genderize. It comes down to one's ethics, morals, values and personal integrity. Fear of loneliness has many settling.
I don't act entitled at all. I'm very appreciative, always.
That's good to hear....
People were more tolerant, then
Where is the chat box?
what do you mean with, when woman make no effort? Isn`t it for men less attractive, when it is to clear and easy to assume she likes you, because she arranges everything to see him? I experienced that men like to chase and if they dont have to - she is less attractive to them? am I wrong? my experience is, that these men who are really interested in you as a person, they try to get into contact and ask you for dates.
sorry for my mistakes in English I`m no native speaker :-)
Uh oh Jonathon. Now I know why I'm single. I was one of those princesses. Felt entitled, no putting in the work. I would sit there thinking " look at me", " look at me" and enjoy all the great compliments that men gave me. I was soo shallow. That was in my younger years. Now I'm old and no one will look at me. Lol. Quite frankly I'm beyond the dating years but what you are saying is so true. I'm so glad that you speak about this to help other ladies! Where were you when I was young????? 😂
Thanks for sharing
Many genderize. The important things are our personal morals, ethics and personal integrity. Don't settle.
Is fwb like dating? If he texts or calls and gets me to visit is that a date?
NO!!!! It's not!!!!
@@JonathonAslay I was shocked he didn’t want to hug me (hugged me a long time ago). I did get the massage I asked for though. I’m becoming a beck and call girl. Time to take the duct tape off.
Some parents allow grown children to sleep in there homes with their boy or girl friends,
Hi Jonathan. You mentioned a woman in her '70s that was doing a lot of dating. Do you by any chance know the dating sites that she recommends. Thank you I appreciate the help
All of them...
Gee, Jonathan, the more I listen to you the more the I learn. I sure wish we lived closer, I would love to meet you. You tell it like it is. I personally think you would be a wonderful date.
Awe... thank you 🙏
Correct about flaky behaviour.
You have alot of good content, but I'm sorry - if a man asks me out on a date- I say "THANK YOU" EVERY FUCKING TIME! But there's no way in hell I'm offering my presence up & oh- "Let ME pay YOU to impress ME!" 🤦♀️
Thanks for sharing your experience
No princess behaviour from women
Differentiate
Parents trained their children.Today it's difficult to differtiate parents from children
What is your website?
Www.jonathonaslay.com
Woman just connect to friends by venting. It’s rise estrogen, push down cortisol, to say good for her libido. Break the ice on his concrete 😆
Question 🙋🏻♀️.
I’m learning a lot from listening to you 💞
I choose to treat people well and you are so right so many feel that it’s ok to treat people in a way that is so close to abuse. Horrible and women in my country often treat people badly.
Not anymore, but I have paid for more 1st dates than anyone I know!
The world was a lot smaller for sure
Yes
So this disrespect is passed on
Negative attitude are not good.
Yes
Stop it Bob Newhart
👍🏼
Personal question: are your eyeglasses driving you crazy I wear glasses and I have since the fourth grade. It’s my observation that the lens for your right eye is not made properly. Did you have Botox such that it affected the muscle in your right eye? Are the eyeglass frames fitting you properly? Is the right ear stem pulling the right side too close to the eyeball such that the vision you’re getting is not correct. So that is that. Go back to your good ophthalmologist if your glasses are bothering you and get them fixed. Karen doom Long Island
It's something else called ptosis...
No beard 😮
Check out the story of how Dyer got his last child.
I can't seem to find what you are referring to...
it was in a book. forgot title. he and his wife were done having children, but anyway they had one more. named her Spring. She was blessed with a beautiful singing voice. I think that the spirit Moved Mrs D. Wish I could remember the title. A collection. @@JonathonAslay
Wrong name . Skye.@@JonathonAslay
Their
I agree Good personhood is so important
Exactly
Co- create
🎉
As if you don't have some issues
I've got lots of issues indeed
Enjoyed your comment about love ❤...way to go! Let's all fuck our brains out to true love and happiness 😊
A rude comment Kathleen. We ALL have issues. Guess what. Even you!
❤
👍🏽
A lot of people are emotionally constipated as you say, Jonathan.
Most people do not know how to be present and natural. I am not on any dating sites not a good profile writer. Don't know how to sell😂
Oh, I wish I could help with the profile ☺️
Yes to all the things you said, I’m a Leo too and feel the same way when it comes to partnerships, why are people in my case men so closed off , well I know why 😏. The best way is to be honest, speak your truth, say / ask for what you want I hate the guessing game. I’m meeting a guy this weekend, which so far fits the bill , but keeping an open mind.. which me luck 😜
and very good looking men put in zero effort and seem to also have the entitled attitude as well
Men don’t have to go to sex workers to get off
Sad and true
Good presentation as always ...I just heard the word, "emailing me" from something you read out. Red flag indeed! Now, who emails nowadays for dating purposes other than scammers?! The comment alone is weird. I'm quite astounded by the behaviours and thoughts of some people...Really, the sentence, "like stealing candy from a baby", comes to mind
Oh Jonathan, you are funny sometimes, don't cut yourself short.
BIG BIG HUUGS BIG BROTHER 🫂♥️
Awe... thanks