Men (Over 40) SECRETLY Long For THIS Way More Than Sex

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  • Опубліковано 24 гру 2024

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  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому +4

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  • @JohnSmith-ij4xe
    @JohnSmith-ij4xe 6 місяців тому +26

    See am driven by emotional not physical. I have refused sex with women because for me it has to go somewhere first then am ok with sex. I don’t like sleeping with someone just for the sake of it. Yes it’s exciting in the moment but brings me 0 satisfaction unless it’s with someone I truly feel connected with. I have been like this my whole life and hook ups do nothing for me.

  • @Sunlightsam24
    @Sunlightsam24 6 місяців тому +19

    I was lucky and connected with a man thru Match and we’re in the best relationship of our lives. One of my growth opportunities was to learn that not everyone has to like what I do in every area, even areas that are important to me. For example, I’m into fitness/gym, he’s not, but he hikes and walks with me. Also, realize that in healthy solid relationships, we influence each other for different reasons. He was what I suspect could be described as disagreeable. I don’t really see that from him because he knew I wouldn’t be with someone who operates out of negative energy. He also is opening his mind to energy, quantum physics. We need to have patience! Not patience for BS, but patience for growth out of the other person-women tend to push, then get hurt when he backs away. Women don’t like when men push them for sex, so don’t push him for what you want. Everything will unfold as it’s meant to. ❤

    • @MargaretCampbell583
      @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +1

      That is wonderful to hear

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 6 місяців тому +1

      @@MargaretCampbell583 Thank you, 15 years of dating and relationships.If it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone.

    • @MargaretCampbell583
      @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +1

      @@Sunlightsam24 Yes it can happen to anyone. I had very low self esteem in the past and I thought no one would want me. But I was wrong. I do think we may have to wait for the right person, and the right time. Waiting might be a blessing in disguise. 😀

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 6 місяців тому

      @@MargaretCampbell583 Well said! 👍

    • @dmrd222
      @dmrd222 6 місяців тому +2

      Gee, YOU sound like MY type! And I'm a (hetero) woman! - fitness/gym, energy/quantum physics, Consciousness, spirituality, manifestation, positivity, Awareness... 🤣

  • @karinesavard2016
    @karinesavard2016 6 місяців тому +35

    I traveled a lot when I was young, now it is less about pleasure seeking in the world and more about purpose seeking in the Lord. The latter being so fulfilling and I love staying at home, enjoying the garden and walks close to home. 🙏❤

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +7

    I agree with you about traumatic divorce and the problem it creates. Yes hurt people hurt people. Both my parents were like that.

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +12

    My father was generally good but wanted to kick me out when I was very ill. That was horrible. I didn’t go. Thank God I got over that terrible depression. Antidepressants so often saved my life. Before my Network Chiropractor cured my very serious mental illness (my psychiatrist nearly fell off his chair when he saw it) I never thought anything could ever change.

  • @Suessserat
    @Suessserat 6 місяців тому +12

    You're right. A lot of men(people) in their 50-60s are so deep wounded, and never (self) healed, that "live" decades with their early couple/divorce traumas and don't realize even how much their past is their present...some are really willing to connect to someone else, but they can't! Every woman is at the end a "bit..", a problem, the living reflex of these women who destroyed their ideals and hearts. Can really be loveable human beings, but they are impossible to get and give love like they could done. Sad! And very common...

    • @PATH918
      @PATH918 6 місяців тому

      👍🤝🌹❤️💯

    • @jakstorm3180
      @jakstorm3180 6 місяців тому +1

      I thought so too, this one I truly love and pursued for many years is now with me. I got her and the passionate lovemaking is absolutely perfect

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +15

    It’s very hard to meet people. Online dating is a way to meet people.

  • @patriciacollier128
    @patriciacollier128 6 місяців тому +1

    Great advice as always, we all need to feel valued and respected.
    Hope your first Fathers day was ok, as we get older these things come along it's hard, your parents raise you and in the end we are there for them as they get older.
    Please tell us more about the fundraiser too.

  • @IrmaClaeys24
    @IrmaClaeys24 6 місяців тому +6

    It is so. We meet strangers and specially in this tech era where FaceTime and long distance sometimes play a roll. I have to say that at first i was willing to meet someone even at a distance. I met a very compatible Canadian, we had a lot in common, even quemistry through a distance, but reality hit and being in Europe and he in Canada meant we would have to move the relationship forward. It happened, I was willing to go and meet him at his home base but he kept putting off coming my way... So, my perspective now is, if it happens for me, then it would have to be in a closer vicinity and as I am a foreigner in these parts, it becomes difficult to really be fully compatible as culturally we are different already from the get go... "the love conundrum"... Enjoy All your talks Johnathon!! 🎉
    Thank you!!

    • @gewfone
      @gewfone 6 місяців тому

      Why find a man in another country ??? That's making your life difficult

  • @Maya-zd1pc
    @Maya-zd1pc 6 місяців тому +1

    One of the best videos I've seen so far on this topic of building relationships, especially recently.
    So many on social seem to be frustrated and bashing and blaming the opposite gender for their relationship status.
    This video is so respectful and supportive to find understanding and support for both genders. Thanks, Jonathan!

  • @angelinpdx2297
    @angelinpdx2297 6 місяців тому +1

    Happy Father’s Day, Jonathon! You’re an amazing dad to Colin. Thank you for your transparency in all that you share about Connor’s passing. You are a father figure to all of us too, the women who follow you. You’ve helped me create boundaries and boost my self awareness/esteem/confidence. I am better at understanding the men in my life because of you. Thank you for being a stable figure in my life! Love you so! (I’ve followed you since Oct 2020.)

  • @ForeverTogether219
    @ForeverTogether219 6 місяців тому +8

    Respect is important
    🎉

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +5

    I walk daily, I love it yes we do like to show up as ambassadors for our best self

  • @JoySpirit888
    @JoySpirit888 6 місяців тому +4

    Happy Father's Day Johnathan 🎉

  • @anikaray4192
    @anikaray4192 6 місяців тому +1

    I really appreciated all of these points Jonathon.You are right both women and men need all of these. For me not only continuity but consistency is so important for building trust.Thank you 🙏🧡

  • @Missy-x3q
    @Missy-x3q 6 місяців тому +1

    I think that's great about taking someone to the airport. However, it should be stated I would expect the same. In my experience, that is yelling a narcissist "here I am!" I am caring and giving. But it needs to be reciprocal or we are sacrificing oneself for another. Partners! 100%!

  • @esterdorweiler9740
    @esterdorweiler9740 6 місяців тому

    Good information, Jonathon.
    Too many times, people focus on what they get more than what they give. ❤

  • @susancourtney882
    @susancourtney882 6 місяців тому +4

    Esther Perel states there is No Other Man. She is confirming men won't succumb to a secondary position in a relationship..i think this should be a wakeup call to women that self respect dictates a primary position in the relationship or move on😊

  • @Sunlightsam24
    @Sunlightsam24 6 місяців тому +11

    My BF travels for work, yet when we travel for pleasure, he tends to awful-ize any hiccup, while I remain calm. Then I use the opportunity to point out that everything always works out and it’s better to surrender and assume everything will work out, rather then go into negative energy. He’s given me the okay to give him a little reminder when getting starts to get agitated when we travel … I love this guy 💕

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for sharing

    • @gewfone
      @gewfone 6 місяців тому +1

      Awful- ize is interesting term...hahaha 😅

    • @hslntshrndz1795
      @hslntshrndz1795 5 місяців тому +1

      This woman is obviously mature. Her man is not so much.🤷🏼

  • @lindafish2789
    @lindafish2789 6 місяців тому

    Just as there can be many reasons for delays on a road, closures, detours, retracing steps, we try to anticipate them and work around them. Sometimes it just takes patience.

  • @zensvlognotapro
    @zensvlognotapro 6 місяців тому +1

    Me too I'm not a traveller because my main goal in life since when I was young was to break the chain of poverty from the family. Also its hard for me to prepare my luggage because I want to bring everything sometimes even hanger I wanna bring on my luggage, blanket, pillows, etc 😁.
    Yes JA I want to be accepted the way I Am because I have many insecurities but if someone accept me for who I Am , I can give my all 🤗
    Have a great Father's day over there JA💐

  • @noramaghanoy4941
    @noramaghanoy4941 6 місяців тому

    All excellent points Jonathon! Thank you.

  • @julieangle9721
    @julieangle9721 6 місяців тому +1

    Hi Jonathon, I enjoy you very much, you serve a great purpose ❤ sometimes we need to take risks

    • @MargaretCampbell583
      @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому

      I agree with you Jonathon does so much good in this world. He is a treasure ❤️😀

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому

      Always!

  • @jazzgal51
    @jazzgal51 6 місяців тому

    Relationships take work. Daily. Not going to deepen without putting in the effort. This is what I have learned from you and others. If I ever get in another relationship I will be different in this regard.

  • @susanharrie3326
    @susanharrie3326 6 місяців тому +4

    ❤Happy Father’s Day

  • @threecats1605
    @threecats1605 6 місяців тому +1

    I just recommended. I was married 45 years. I’m widowed and I recommend never dating a single man. They don’t know how to band they don’t know how to give and it’s always their way.

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +2

    Yes I am by myself. I agree with your opinion on arranged marriage. Yes children can really wreck second marriages

  • @1voice4you
    @1voice4you 6 місяців тому

    MAY GOD BLESS YOU THAT YOU HAD A GREAT FATHER'S DAY!

  • @esterdorweiler9740
    @esterdorweiler9740 6 місяців тому

    Good information! Thank you!

  • @karinesavard2016
    @karinesavard2016 6 місяців тому +14

    Ponctuality is very important, I'm always too early, because too late is a sign of disrespect.

    • @christinerowland2888
      @christinerowland2888 6 місяців тому +2

      Then I'm very disrespectful.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому +3

      Exactly

    • @gewfone
      @gewfone 6 місяців тому

      Punctuality *

    • @gewfone
      @gewfone 6 місяців тому

      ​@christinerowland2888 I'm sure it's not on purpose

    • @karinesavard2016
      @karinesavard2016 6 місяців тому

      @@gewfone ok sorry, I'm french and it is ponctualité for me 😂🤣😂

  • @gracesidorowicz572
    @gracesidorowicz572 6 місяців тому +1

    The person who says rather I’d 34:20 Be single that poor .. probably isn’t and if they 😊t live where I do . My therapist said a majority of clients she saw were there because they knew they needed it financially.

  • @pamjohn4602
    @pamjohn4602 6 місяців тому +2

    When I was married my ex said we are a good team. I was the team and he was the leader. I want a 50/50 team next time.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому +1

      100/100

    • @pamjohn4602
      @pamjohn4602 6 місяців тому +2

      @@JonathonAslay OK as long as it is equal.

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому

    Yes you are so right about the healing. BTW I joined your VIP group 😀. Re chemistry when I first met my somatic treater I didn’t feel any chemistry but I do feel it now but in a way that is quite different. Con my treater and I have some big differences. Con likes investing in properties which I dont like but I like investing in stocks. I am always early. I hate people being late. I agree it is disrespectful. Trust is so important

  • @truemorris6695
    @truemorris6695 6 місяців тому

    🌹🌹🌹HAPPY FATHERS DAY JONATHON 🌹🌹🌹. I made it back from Montana!! In Laguna beach SUnny CA🌞🌞🌞

  • @juliefrecker3811
    @juliefrecker3811 6 місяців тому +1

    You’re right Jonathon. I can’t get the duct tape off yet I’m reading self help relationship books. I don’t know how to convince him I’m interested. He’s bored and says I’m not into it.

  • @sylviasessentials
    @sylviasessentials 6 місяців тому

    happy happy Father’s Day !!!😊🎊y

  • @gregorystinette8271
    @gregorystinette8271 6 місяців тому +3

    Older people often have too much baggage & unresolved issues to even consider dating

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +1

    Happy Fathers Day ❤

  • @ForeverTogether219
    @ForeverTogether219 6 місяців тому +1

    Happy Father’s Day 😊

  • @CarolRosenblum
    @CarolRosenblum 6 місяців тому

    My friend is the father of 4 and the oldest of 8. Close Italian family. We care about each other and truly enjoy each other's company. However, he won't let me in to the rest of his life....taken up by family. I don't know how to address that.

  • @Cheryn77
    @Cheryn77 5 місяців тому

    I absolutely must have wine and dine they will definitely get akit back in my personality honesty integrity but they hsvebto prove themselves thry arent cheap wonen like providers

  • @monikaleszko5343
    @monikaleszko5343 6 місяців тому

    What is your option on moving in together ? Should a man move in with the woman ? or woman move with the man or find a new place all together?
    Perhaps it depends on other factors too!

  • @sylviasessentials
    @sylviasessentials 6 місяців тому

    I am also dealing with someone who is living with their daughter right now I guess until they get on their feet. I am not saying that his daughter does not like me because she always seems to be respectful when I’m face-to-face with her. But what I’ve been dealing with is that he put his daughter and his grandchildren and no disrespect about his grandchildren don’t get me wrong. But it’s just the same old same old. He put everyone before this beautiful strong connection that we had together. This is been going on for a long time. If it’s not his immediate family or his sisters, it’s friends in our immediate circle. I see it for what it is, so at this point being with my past person I don’t know at this time anymore. I know we have a connection and the love is there but it just seems like they keep pushing me away in one way or another. I guess that’s just how Carmick soul ties For one reason or another. Yes I have spoken to him just yesterday not my choice. He came around and decided to call me again and act like nothing happened from the past. He wants me to be business partners with him at this time since he has a small business and so do I on the side With handmade jewelry and of course, my make up channel to help blind people. Today, when I spoke to him over the phone, everything out of his mouth was very very negative for some reason. He got to the point that I had to say to him that he was complaining. Of course, when I said that he hung the phone up on me, but I’m gonna stand with what I said and the reason why is because the truth was he was being very negative about everything over the phone. on my end I don’t understand why because he has grandchildren and I do not have any grandchildren in my life. So anyways, this is where I stand at the moment with the man that I love that it just seems so hard to just try to come together with peace, all I want.❤

  • @dorotheefilion7186
    @dorotheefilion7186 5 місяців тому

    What about being in a relationship where there is addiction to narcotics and alcool?

  • @Missy-x3q
    @Missy-x3q 6 місяців тому

    What times and days are you live? I'll join if my schedule permits!

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому

      Monday Tuesday and Thursday at 5pm PST

  • @gracesidorowicz572
    @gracesidorowicz572 6 місяців тому +4

    There s a. Great movie with Robert Dinero and I think Meryl Streep about an older couple and she wants to go into sex therapy to have a closer connection in marriage . It’s really awesome . Dont take lovers .. be brave .. I wish my husband would have done that but he took the other option and I continue to pick up the pieces of a broken life .

  • @H.F1Ash
    @H.F1Ash 6 місяців тому

    I love that show

  • @MargaretCampbell583
    @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +1

    No bad boys I agree they are selfish. Yes we all want to be validated but that seems very important to men. There are no “I”s in team

  • @LeslieESP21
    @LeslieESP21 6 місяців тому

    Time is an illusion only ❤ is real

  • @selenaolivia1284
    @selenaolivia1284 5 місяців тому

    Shall you work with your partner? Or shall you not work with your partner? Will that ruin your relationship?

  • @eugeniajuarez9387
    @eugeniajuarez9387 6 місяців тому

    Psicologícaly she grieve enough.
    My suggestion would be, look for a counselor to help you, to find out, what did you learn from your divorce?
    What will you like in a man or what ate you looking for in a man!

  • @veronicaannsmith3619
    @veronicaannsmith3619 Місяць тому

    I don't think most men are open to learning about how to connect. Seems like they don't want to out out the effort.

  • @erinrenneisen7048
    @erinrenneisen7048 6 місяців тому

    Question: I was dating a man for a few weeks we have a physical connection had a good time together was moving forward. He had a panic attack told me about it and after a few days call me to say you did not want to hurt me knows I want a healthy relationship and can we just be friends. I would like to be his friend but I still have the same feelings towards him. I think he is a spender do I move on give him space tell him how I feel?

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 6 місяців тому +3

      You won’t be able to be his ‘friend’ without wanting more, so I would next. He’s wasting your time…my two cents

    • @littleone31917
      @littleone31917 6 місяців тому

      I agree. You need to cut off wasteful relationship to.save your energy for a good one.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому +1

      Sounds like it..

  • @marciasloan534
    @marciasloan534 6 місяців тому +2

    The date who stood you up GOT COLD FEET

    • @vikkiweigel2504
      @vikkiweigel2504 6 місяців тому

      Or got a "better" option ( in her mind).

  • @PetsNPatients
    @PetsNPatients 6 місяців тому

    You have the same coffee mug as me😂

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому

      That's all mug?

    • @sherryj738
      @sherryj738 6 місяців тому

      Jonathan, what ever happened to all the coffee ☕️ mugs that you used to use? Jen, the RN, made a good mug.

  • @nankyahawa7986
    @nankyahawa7986 6 місяців тому +2

    People that have experienced bad relationships are good at giving advice in relationships

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 6 місяців тому +2

      Personally I like to hear advice from people who are successful in anything they are giving advice on. That’s just me though…

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому +2

      All experience has value

    • @michellem4597
      @michellem4597 6 місяців тому +1

      @@JonathonAslay And this is why I watch your videos - I appreciate your outlook on many aspects of life.

    • @MargaretCampbell583
      @MargaretCampbell583 6 місяців тому +1

      @@JonathonAslay Absolutely true

  • @katemitchell665
    @katemitchell665 6 місяців тому

    No, Jonathan, you didn’t say Gamer Christina was insecure, you asked her why she cared? What do you think it implies to the other person to say to them, “why do you care”? Maybe she was just asking from a place of curiosity as to just exactly that….why do men flirt and don’t ask you out? Being curious does not carry the same “emotion” as caring about something. Your reply seems to have assumed she did care (insecure about guys flirting with her) vs being curious.
    I view asking a guy about his opinion on female muscle mass and hearing him say he doesn’t like it, is no more different than asking a guy if he sees himself getting married in the future, or if he could ever see himself living somewhere else besides (fill in the blank). They are dealbreaker questions. He said no. It doesn’t fit what you want for your life. Next.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому

      Is always to ask oneself, why do care...

    • @katemitchell665
      @katemitchell665 6 місяців тому

      @@JonathonAslay why is it that you think, or assumes she’s cares, and that she wasn’t coming from a place of curiosity?

  • @mosaicrenae7543
    @mosaicrenae7543 5 місяців тому

    You think they want teammates or cheerleaders? I have found the latter to be more true in my experience with men.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  5 місяців тому

      Grown-up men want teammates. Ego-based men want servants/cheerleaders.

  • @PATH918
    @PATH918 6 місяців тому

    Women also need VALIDATION TOO❤💯💯💯

  • @Angel42836
    @Angel42836 6 місяців тому

    I have been seeing this a new guy and I have been telling him every day that I love him for him and that I don't want him to change. I hate it when women complain about a guy doing something like playing games and she knew he did that before they got into a relationship with them and they are complaining about them doing that I don't get then why did you even want to be with him. I want my guy to know that he is supported by me and that I am happy for who he is

  • @bootsiekeegan4401
    @bootsiekeegan4401 6 місяців тому

    When many wimen like to create a nice living space not living like sanford & sons but my ex and his mom like using duck tape to hold draperies even though they have money have ridiculous living room etc chair with cup holder you use at beach or out door seating they use in living room? He says to me so what? No big deal... Im not a diva like lopez behaves but i like a cozy living room or patio you feel takes you on vacation even though you cannot afford to take off from pgh pa to Florida. Ex rattan glider chair pakm tree $17 plant a place to relax not a junk yard patio. ?? 😅

  • @SuperQdaddy
    @SuperQdaddy 6 місяців тому

    I accept the fact I don't want a serious relationship with you...because a poor interest in my life ..other than lets do something together...So..? I can be a fun good time with anyone...but next level is emotional intimacy...and a feminist is not open ?

  • @Chris-hp2gg
    @Chris-hp2gg 6 місяців тому +1

    Crab stuffed mushrooms in cheese sauce, thick cut roast beef au juice and Australian lobster tail. For dessert- Key lime pie.

  • @mahaliahoyte6038
    @mahaliahoyte6038 6 місяців тому +2

    Why do some rape?

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  6 місяців тому +2

      No Boundaries and sex addiction is one possible answer.

  • @mischum2915
    @mischum2915 6 місяців тому

    But the men‘s test to behave like a kid and want to be accept in this way I can‘t cope with it, sorry, he want me to go and I never contact him.

    • @littleone31917
      @littleone31917 6 місяців тому

      I agree. If a man is intentionally childish as a test, if you tolerate it, he will keep being juvenile.

  • @soozt828
    @soozt828 6 місяців тому +2

    Who Cares.....Sick of hearing "what men want".

  • @FlatStella1
    @FlatStella1 6 місяців тому

    oh yea, very selfish