Internal Shifts To Save Your Marriage: Paradigm Shifting (Part 1 of 2)
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- Опубліковано 3 лип 2024
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How to Properly Lead Conversations to open Up & Heal Your Partner’s Emotions
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When diving into my client stories, one truth stands out about all healthy relationships, especially healthy romantic relationships: internal shifts matter most. These shifts, often overlooked, hold the key to success. Ignore them, and your partner will NEVER believe your changes are genuine!
But, for some reason, nobody gives you truly healthy relationship advice. No one actively tells you what healthy relationship building looks like. Paradigm shifting is THE secret ingredient behind lasting change.
In this video, I'm going to go DEEP into the WHAT, HOW, & WHY behind this.
So, welcome to Paradigm Shifting Part 1 of 2! This is where the journey to reconciliation and healthy romantic relationships truly begins.
Don't miss out on Part 2 of the Paradigm Shifting series!
• Internal Shifts To Sav...
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OTHER VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
Marriage Is Failing? Who Should I Take Relationship Advice From?
• Marriage is Failing? W...
Wife Wants Divorce & Does Not Believe in My Changes (The Paradox of Change)
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Why This Video Is CRUCIAL
00:00 - Why You Should Watch This Video
Internal Shifts - 5 Reasons You Should Care
02:22 - #1: Only Way To Build 5 Pillars
07:29 - #2: Crucial To Lead & Flip Script
15:08 - #3: Crucial To Falling Outcomes
18:00 - #4: The Key To Lasting Results
18:45 - #5: The Positive Feedback Loop
How Emotions Form - The WHAT/HOW/WHY
19:18 - Let's Start With Some Basics...
32:01 - The Obliviously Blind
39:48 - Okay, So How Do I Do This?
1:01:38 - Going Back To The WHY
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#GeoffreysSetiawan #RelationshipsRevival #GeoffreySetiawanReviews
Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts!
If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited).
At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not!
Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCEP148DS
Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
What about a cheater, an emotional affair. Should they not resist those feelings for affiar partner? Does thst conceot still apply. Would it help them release the affair partner, and see the changes in spouse.
Thank you again Geoffrey. Nevertheless a question comes to me: what is happening if your wife does not do her own work on herself while you are doing yours with the consrquences that I am feeling unsafe emotionaly and pschycilologicaly? This expression is what"s happening:" see the mote in one's neighbour's eye but not the beam in one's own".
@@peuple3993 @cg1232 I already answered your comment below, but putting it here as well for visibility.
Imagine you are someone’s leader, and the people you lead aren’t feeling safe, and you say, “Well, I don’t feel safe too.”
Is that a leader?
Can either person improve?
You are falling for what we call - equal blame illusion.
Like I said - the victim mindsets will always feel right and justified to you. You will always feel deeply tempted to fall for them because of the rewards and punishment paradox.
But if you want to take the easy way out and think and act like a follower (Short term reward), then do not be surprised when you get the results like one, or get treated like one (Delayed punishment) 🙂
E.g. take a look at my story and my client success stories, when you take it upon yourself to start first, and learn to create safety within (Feels like immediate punishment), you will be surprised at how much others will and can follow you as a leader and change themselves too (Delayed Rewards).
And if you doubt this, then think about what you are insinuating about your partner - that she is so flawed that even when there is a great leader to follow, she still cannot / won’t.
Reverse the roles - can you feel safe if someone thought so lowly of you?
So are you creating as much safety as you think?
Hmmm…see the circularity of this type of thinking?
A lot might think that the teachings that you are giving is only to how to get back your relationship, but this video just showed us that the changes that you are promoting is the high value changes that are very much needed to an individual. Given the amount of time that I spend watching your free contents on YT, I must say that the way I interpret life in general now is more than twice better than I did in the past. Before asking decency on other people, reflect on yours and be humble enoigh to ask how did I contribute to this, and what can I do to turn this into positive.
As I always say - No one has relationship problems, but people have problems with the self that reflects in their relationships.
Just like with ANY performance, the performance of life & relationships is 90% mindset :)
You get that right, the rest comes easier!
I can attest not from the course but from this video. Been following Geoff on UA-cam and putting these into practical use at work and with friends.
Long story short…she came over for Easter, we had a good talk and I learned more about what went wrong. Mind you this is three months in from abundance of contact to no contact back to squeezing hands when we leave. Real hugs.
I no longer get angry or judge. The seat of consciousness is real. You still get quick frustration but then laugh about what used to make you mad. He is right, the old views were absurd indeed. Will update in a month or two
Can’t wait to hear the update
So….update is this: she told me more of her fears. She told me more of her personal life concerns. But she couldn’t, or didn’t seem to be getting closer.
So at that point im like…either this guy is bs or I missed a very simple step. I’ll save you the time, I failed to untether. I realized it, and immediately felt better and more motivated after.
Why untether? G does okay explaining it but an easier explanation is that if you don’t then she cannot “fall” back in love with you due to the constant push (expectation) that is placed on her.
Geoffrey,
Thank you for posting these long form videos giving a more comprehensive overview of the topics you discuss. Very helpful
I love this polarizing example during POC 13:00
You’re giving so much value/resources & awareness about purple giraffe paradox 46:29 & 23:51
I bet this helps nurturing the right clients for being coachable/onboarding
I am so freaking grateful for this. Thank you so much Geoffrey, I can't wait to dive deeper into this video !
I’m so glad I came across your channel a year ago Geoffrey. Thank you for making these videos available.
I love the amount of knowledge as well as your effort. Couldn’t have asked for better morning. Thank you Geoffrey 🙌
Happy Easter my guy! 🤗
Thanks for this video. I lacked the subconscious internal shifts a lot
Geoffrey, I just want to say thank you so much. Your free videos have helped me change so much and I'm eternally grateful, I may not get back with my ex but I'm shifting my focus to fully go into the internal shifts deeply. Before I was wishy washy and although things began picking up with her, I crumbled. I wasn't where I needed to be in the internal shifts, but the changes I've made so far are so great. I discovered your channel on the 20th of December 2023, a day after my breakup and you've brought nothing but positive change in my life. I sincerely can't wait for more in depth videos like this
Grateful to Jason for his tough love. Can't wait. Very soon.
Carter
Having done your Masterclass yesterday, this is so much more relatable now.
And one of the things i love about your videos is that you dont sugarcoat what youre presenting. Even throwing a swear word in there every so often.
Would love to see a video in more detail about the auto suggestions how they are applied to each framework and how they are created
Just trying to understand - The frameworks and the Auto-Suggestions are 2 different skills.
Frameworks is used to guide interactions and conversations.
Auto-suggestions are used to shift your internals.
Given what is already said in the video, what "detail" of the auto-suggestions would you like to learn more of?
We can teach this for hours upon hours if you don't constrain us :)
Ok so we’re clear the Frameworks are untethering, bpv, antithetical thinking, identity shifting. As far as the frameworks it’s very clear breakdowns in each video. So Internals are what I think I haven’t been able to understand fully. Emotional flywheel, fae bias, auto suggestions especially. How do I build auto suggestions and how do I know when i need to go in and apply them. I just can’t really find a clear video for them. Appreciate it advance.
@@NarcoTheone-dh2co I suggest you try watching his free masterclass and more of his videos. You will get more clarity. You seem to be mixing things up. The things you're referring to as frameworks are the internals you need to work on.
Hey , this was a great vid, man. Thanks for presenting this stuff so coherently.
If I had the means, I'd be applying. For now, I am enjoying your online content.
Hey Geoffrey, thank you so much for this. You have just given us something so valuable, an insight into the process and the process to optimise the process. There is so much richness in what you just shared.
I am grateful man 🙏🏾. This was given for free? man we lucky!
Happy Easter!
Money is the problem for me and my partner right now. Particularly my career which has been quite stagnant for a while but I still know that my situation is not unique. I might know what I need to work on but I might have to dig deeper through antithetical ways.
So excited to watch this fully let’s goooo🎉
Let's goo!!
Excellent!!!!
Fucking brilliance is what this is . I always thought that the auto suggestions the general media suggests (just positive one liners) are not nearly enough to change the way you think after all you need to convince your brain to leave an old mindset for a new one which will always have a lot of subconscious resistance so u would definitely need more than just one liners
Right on! My auto-suggestion library is one of my most important folder in my computer. It has (and still is) contributed so much to my success in all areas!
Need In depth auto suggestion videos.
By chance could we go into more detail of the right structures and ammo to formulate effective autosuggestions in a future video?
Are these concepts applicable to the dating stage?
Can you make a video about “our competition”? My ex is with another guy. I’ve seen all the affair playlist but managing my emotions and see all the pictures of them on dates has me surviving not thriving.
I think I can understand what you might be going through, but you focusing on the wrong things.
Can you obsess over the processes and shift your paradigm to thinking about her happiness and seeing that it's cool she's happy and maybe there's something you can learn from what her current partner does to make her happy and then destroy that massively with your growth?
In this video Geoffrey explained how emotions forms and how we can go about creating self awareness and watching the emotions and shifting them via auto suggestions... There's so much you can get from his free videos. Try watching everything.
Your changes are for you, you getting your partner back is going to be a consequence of you doing the work. Perhaps you may even chose a different route in terms of a new partner but not without first doing the work.
@@Nuez234 thank you. I see exactly what you mean.
It’s obvious I’m still super tethered to the outcome. I’m doing it because I want to be with her not because this is who I am. Selfishly dismissing her happiness entirely.
I’ll continue focusing on my internals.
In same boat, lots of pain with her affair partner and her leaving.
@@Freskko I'm glad I was helpful🙏🏾.
@@tb87670 if you turn your focus to things within your control, watch how your emotions feel afterwards. Leave the true but useless stuff.
You have a massive opportunity right now. Don't waste it. It hurts, I know, the life you once had is crashing right before you, and the pain of your partner giving love, attention and care that she once gave you to another is heart wrenching.
But, no better place to be than on Geoffrey's YT channel. Don't waste this pain man.
and as we observe our feeling, How do we know if our paradigms is based something positive not a victim mindset in disguise?
Been following your videos for a while and the good thing it has actually helped me get to a point of reconciliation! The bad is that I made the same mistake/mistakes again that led to the initiatial break up. I can’t recall the exact video, but I remember you saying something along the lines of if I break safety again in a massive way it will be massively harder to get her back again. I may have went In too soon without completely adopting the frameworks, but what am I to do now? Do I start over from square one with the videos teachings (I can’t afford the program)? Do I start over with someone else ? Have I lost her for good ?
Any response Is appreciated.
Think deeply about paradox of change - if your partner resist and this makes you crumble, you're no better than the guy I showed in this video 😂
And guess what, she was right to doubt the genuine-ness of your changes!
I literally nearly have the same story. It’s been almost a year since initial reconciliation. I somehow understood the frameworks enough to get her to come back for about 6-7 months. Very very resistant. So resistant in fact that i broke into a victim again. 😂 then I finally started talking to Jason a few months ago and I told her and admitted that I hadn’t changed enough. She checks in on me every week or 2. I’m sooo focused on changing my paradigms that I notice her come and go and I just keep going. By the time I fully change who I am I imagine I won’t need to “memorize” anything. I am a professional musician, I play acoustic while singing very well. I’m never nervous because I practice literally 6-8 hours a day. Literally I’m nuts. Obsessed. I’m taking this program and putting it in that box. Every day I watch every morning and night for about an hour. 😂 I’m addicted! I don’t even worry about my partner. I’m just focused on what I can do to grow more and more. I know she will come back. I know she loves me. Duh. I’m the one who keeps sucking. Not this time… 😊 If I have victim mindset or negative thoughts I snatch them by the neck and suffocate them in the moment. I get less and less moments as the weeks go by. Once I get to like 5 months I will finally be new.
Yess 🙌 !!!! You responding meant a lot what you’re doing is very helpful and you are appreciated. I understood exactly what you meant just now. I’m going to make sure I get more attached to the process of changing for myself and not the changing to have (untethered). It is a very hard concept to not only grasp but to live in but the results I have gotten already have shown me that, like youve said before , I need to expand my mind on just what’s possible (10 second rule). I thank you so much Geoffrey.
The only thing is that my partner is now trying to use other guys to make me jealous. I see this as a form of resistance. Since I have broken safety again. And I also hurt her on a very emotional level. It’s been rough for me and I may need to build my bpv a little more. I may be a tad jelly’s person and that button she knows how to push. I don’t want to push it you already responded once but how do I overcome the jealousy? Sometimes I think I’m being a simp for trying with someone who is purposely making me jealous. Maybe I should go back to watch the video on affairs.
@@NarcoTheone-dh2co Just want to chime in & say you’re drowning in opportunities beyond what you can imagine that you can have. It’s way more than worth it to keep trying for your partner during affairs & there’s an abundance of more healthy benefits/paradigms/outcomes & positive behavior that you will add to everyone around including yourself for going through this controversial journey (others will judge you for)
Keep going, keep studying like your life depends on it, get inside, because time is ticking for these higher opportunities to still exist. Trust me, the free videos are not enough
Thank you again Geoffrey. Nevertheless a question comes to me: what is happening if your wife does not do her own work on herself while you are doing yours with the consrquences that I am feeling unsafe emotionaly and pschycilologicaly? This expression is what"s happening:" see the mote in one's neighbour's eye but not the beam in one's own".
Imagine you are someone’s leader, and the people you lead aren’t feeling safe, and you say, “Well, I don’t feel safe too.”
Is that a leader?
Can either person improve?
You are falling for what we call - equal blame illusion.
Like I said - the victim mindsets will always feel right and justified to you. You will always feel deeply tempted to fall for them because of the rewards and punishment paradox.
But if you want to take the easy way out and think and act like a follower (Short term reward), then do not be surprised when you get the results like one, or get treated like one (Delayed punishment) 🙂
E.g. take a look at my story and my client success stories, when you take it upon yourself to start first, and learn to create safety within (Feels like immediate punishment), you will be surprised at how much others will and can follow you as a leader and change themselves too (Delayed Rewards).
And if you doubt this, then think about what you are insinuating about your partner - that she is so flawed that even when there is a great leader to follow, she still cannot / won’t.
Reverse the roles - can you feel safe if someone thought so lowly of you?
So are you creating as much safety as you think?
Hmmm…see the circularity of this type of thinking?
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thank you very much. Very interesting. I will analyse it tonight again.
@@GeoffreySetiawan I like it. I understand. I will continue anyway but now still believing we could be back together. (I am a French speaker).