I self-sabotage when things seem too calm because I feel like if I punish myself enough I will finally be able to “atone “ for my inherent wickedness. It’s a constant and vicious cycle . I can’t break free .
Watch me from your cage As I rejoin my painful prime You and I are relics We provoke and we recline Walking in the shadows Of my blackened mind Angels crave my sorrow Sorrow they will find What if there's a God a hell and heaven Fire is the torment I must face Dying by the souls I have forsaken No one's going to catch my fall from grace
I feel the same way. My self-sabataging nature and need to be punished have caused someone I love great pain because I felt she would be better of without me and I'd be better off alone.
I will feel depression after hanging out with people, even if it was seemingly a positive social interaction. I am convinced that the other person has decided that I'm weird now and that I said a lot of weird things when that's probably not the case. I will be stuck in an intense spiral for a week or two afterwards. I hate it because I know I need to be more social but it's hard to when these feelings are so extreme.
I relate to this. I create stories in my mind of what others think of me and even what they say when I leave. It's such a distorted view of reality. I found this channel to be very helpful. I also think the audiobook on UA-cam called Untethered Soul is amazing for those of us with BPD.
I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Chronic stress is such a trigger for BPD. I thought I had things under control, but BPD never really goes away. Go too long without checking in with yourself, and you can find bad habits coming back to the surface.
100 💯 someday Sharif completely full functioning even four months and then one day one stressor after another and your debilitated and cannot function probably need to be hospitalized and your whole world shatters.
I'm 38 yr old male and I want everyone to know that has BPD that I do hope we have another chance in another life and I want you all to know that I know how hard we love, how heavy we feel abandonment I feel your feelings too you are not alone and to all your Souls I send a piece of my love. I'm feeling your feelings dont forget you are not alone ok ❤🖤❤🖤❤
It's no joke. You be easy too. And yes we feel their emotions plus ours plus the bpd emotions plus our "lityles' emotions all at once. I disgust myself that my children ever were scared of me getting mad. I remember being raised by bpd mom. It's the last thing I ever wanted to be. Sometimes the shame is unbearable. They know I'm doing everything I can to not hurt anyone. I'm longer than I ever imagined you could be , though. I'm scared i will inevitably be tooooo much. I don't think I can take another loss. At 49 bpd I'm exhausted
Being broken is my comfort zone. I mean constant instabililty and misery is a kind of stability on its own, when you think about it. Thinking about what my life COULD be on the other hand makes me feel incredibly anxious and sad, anxious when I think about all the obstacles I have put in my own way over the years and sad because I`m mourning all the things that could have been. I honestly prefer feeling angry and like a bad person all the time over feeling anxious, sad and hopeless.
I m a person living with bpd in Turkey and i follow you for sometime and in the most darkest times you are helping me out. I am also an actor and i will be on stage when your video starts but i d like to watch it. Hope everyone who has this condition can find a council like you at some point. Regards.
I once was given advice by a pastor who had gotten out of a hole many of us find ourselves in. He said whatever shape you wake up in, do your best to work with that shape. If one morning you're a circle, be the best circle. If one morning you're a square, be the best square. If you are a triangle, be the best triangle. I'm 44 and I have never heard that before so if it helps credit to the man willing to give advice.🙏👍 I wish to put it to practice more 🙂
I desire greatly to be in a healthy & stable relationship, as well as career. I’ve had plenty of opportunities for that but self sabotage came into play 😔 so, I’m taking the time & necessary steps to become better. It’s certainly not easy but I will have these things! ❤
I've given up on thinking I'll ever be "cured." My brain is just too fucked up to fantasize about that, anymore. I'm just hoping to find some... some... "thing" that can help me get through my difficult times/moments. A mantra. A saying or anything. I've tried a thousand different coping mechanisms. Nothing really sticks. It either loses effectiveness after saying it a dozen times or is just not memorable enough. I pray for the day I find an inner voice that's just as effective as the one currently in my brain, constantly telling me I'm a fucking idiot and a loser. Now, THAT voice has been going strong for YEARS! 😅😢
Seeing everyone commenting gives me hope. I’m in a very high period with symptoms and it’s making life hellish. Much respect to everyone struggling with this illness. I just received the workbook and I am very much hopeful it will help bring much needed balance to my moods and life over time. I’m really glad I found this account.
I’m married but now that I know I struggle with BPD, I often think I would be better to everyone else if I was not in a relationship. I feel bad for my hubby but I’m trying my best for him. He’s put up with a lot of drama from me and deserves the best for sure.
I completely understand what you're going through. I'm not in a relationship but I'm a single mother to a wonderful 6 year old... I stay feeling guilty and sad and depressed and like a bad mother... I constantly beat myself up.. if we don't go to the park on the weekend and choose to stay home I'll beat myself up. I will convince myself I'm a bad mother.
I have been watching you for years now, and I just want to say THANK YOU from those of us who have been struggling to afford the mental health help & support they need. Your videos and workbooks are wonderful tools to help me gain benefits that I truly need from therapy ❤ You are helping so many - God bless you 🙏🙌
I'm 77 years young and had this label put on me at age 22; and I can verify that the label itself makes a person's life difficult....in too many ways to mention. I wish the "powers that be" would change this label.
I so so so needed this tonight. Bf of three years was secretly married and I found out in the most crushing way. I didn’t eat for three days and ended up at urgent care with anxiety *but* what helped me was remembering that I could not overly attach to these feelings, that they are telling me a much more intense tale than actually exists. I was fine before this (lying) man and will be fine after 💪 the dramatic voices fearing otherwise are just that-voices that mislead me away from calmness and sanity and into darkness. Definitely a work in progress ! :)
@@amyharding7150 thank you so so much💖💖you are so sweet and I have tried to live in a way in the time since in a manner that my future self will be proud of😊I’ve done a ton of EMDR, concentrated so much of my energy as a mom and in my professional life, have a personal trainer and fulfilled a personal dream to go to Tahiti ☀️I feel like if I keep doing the right things, my heart will heal more and more over time 💖💖
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's crushing when that happens especially when that person almost seems like they weren't really there. It's a terrifying feeling. I'm glad that urgent care was there for you. I hope you can recover from this person and know your worth. You are wonderful regardless of what this man chose to do. ❤️
I'm 42 and after a life of chaos n pain, to finally understand, this is such a bittersweet pill for me, thank you for your work Sir I finally see a little bit of hope ✌️❤️
I am using your book, a DBT workbook by Matthew Mckay, Jefferet Wood, and Jefferey Brantley. I seem to live in this cycle of doing well and then falling apart in a very destructive manner. Your videos have helped my sister and mom understand this disorder and why I act as I do at times. I am 42 and male, in case you are curious. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos as they seem to show up on my feed at just the right time. Could be divine intervention, who knows! I am a subscriber to this channel as well.
I would say that this book actually changed my life. I’m almost 27 and I have gotten to doing well in terms of how BPD affects me for the first time after getting through the workbook
@@qazplmm632 It took me a year to finish the book by Mckay and I'm 42% into Dr. Fox's book. Reading is the easiest part but establishing that constant mindful awareness, journaling, meditation, and accepting the way I am is still very challenging for me. I am aiming for remission of my symptoms.
@@InstrumentvanVrede I wish you good luck. I took notes from the book and made myself a macro for my phone. So I can open it and for example remind myself of how to challenge my core content or how can I calm myself down. Maybe you could try something like that as well. And it really works, when someone pushes my emotional button now, I'm able to notice that I am getting agitated, understand why do I feel this way and instead of being impulsive I calm myself down. I never knew that was possible
@@qazplmm632 My progress has been dependent on my being active in reviewing the original DBT book I bought a year ago and making my way through Dr. Fox's book. I went through the initial assessments, and I hand-wrote all my answers. I am 42% into his workbook. If I skip a few days of study, I begin to regress back into my maladaptive behaviors. Usually leading to me melting down and rupturing my relationship with my mom and sister. I am 42, and was misdiagnosed with bipolar 1 for 13 years (I don't mind sharing).
This is the comment I was looking for. This is the first video I've seen of this doctor. I was impressed so I had to check the comments and now I see he's just like the other doctors on UA-cam. They give you a little bit of information and then sell you the rest. This kind of thing is really making me lose hope in humanity. 😢
Man It's no joke hoe much relief this video gave me,I finally got officially diagnosed BPD & OCD today. I have suspected it for so long,I am scheduled to start DBT next week.I am in my earliest tweenies here fighting these with abusive narcissistic family with anyone much to rely on for emotional or financial support. I am so scared inside I needed this assurances,
Thank you Dr Fox. You have no idea how helpful this video is. The shame I feel, the internal negative voice, take such huge effort to overcome. “Normal” people don’t understand how much energy it takes for people with BPD to function as “normal”.
I am the same way. If I let my mind run I find myself in the same position especially when you feel you could have handled it differently but it’s just hard.
I first started watching your videos about a year and a half ago when I was in the midst of the lowest mental health season I'd ever experienced. I was only recently diagnosed with BPD and everything I found on the internet made it seem like a relational and literal death sentence - except your channel. I remember hearing you talk about symptom remission and thinking that just wasn't realistic for me ... Here I am, now 210 days clean of SH, 6.5 months pregnant with a sweet baby boy, and in remission from a majority of my symptoms! I've been able to reduce my therapy attendance from twice a week to twice a month! My commitment towards staying in the "maintenance mode" with my BPD is strong and I have so much more grace for myself on the days where I wake up and my comorbidities (MDD and CPTSD) make it a struggle - a commitment to changing my perspective has made all the difference. I know that a feeling is just a feeling and it will pass. I utilized my personal therapy, your videos and your workbook to help me get here! Thank you for your commitment to the mental health field, but specifically the BPD community. You're a beacon of hope for so many of us.
Thanks for this comment, I needed to read this more than I can explain. Congratulations truly! Knowing it’s realistically possible to get where you are, where I felt like I was not too terribly long ago, is very reassuring that it can be done! Idk if this is a thing anywhere, but are there like support/constructive aid groups for other people with same disorder? Sorry if that’s weird to ask, it’s just overwhelming to also not know anyone in my age who can understand my brain even a little. Again congratulations on all your progress. ☺️
@@SlyLilly There are DBT groups held in some areas, and maybe online. I haven't attended one as of yet, but my therapist said that he facilitates one once a week. So maybe/hopefully you can find one too!
@@SlyLilly Also r3ddit has some groups for BPD, and I have found that it is a nice place to at least have conversations with others that understand what we are going through. I hope this helps!
@@bcrwarlock1974thank you. I have no idea how R3ddit works but imma look into learning it 😅 I have no one to relate with and I’m freshly moved back to EU. Thank you again!
my mother is very narcissistic emotionally abusive. i think she had undiagnosed bpd as well, and i think because of her behavior i’ve developed bpd as well. i cannot ask for her to get me help because she’d be furious, so these videos help me so much. thank you.
1) It's too hard. 2) I feel like I am a horrible liar no matter what I try to tell myself. 3) I am never going to be CURED so what's the bloody point? 4) Sick of being alive, but don't have enough courage to take my own life.
I am 64.Been trying to "fit in"my whole life. It does not happen.You must have SOMETHING THAT GIVES YOU PEACE AND JOY. Music. NATURE.Crafts. Art. USE THAT .EVERY DAY IS A INTENSE EFFORT TO BE "NORMAL" What makes me different I tap into and that is how I try to cope.Get a pet. Volunteer for something. Get a canoe or kayak or Mountain bike and look for friends that way .We often end up self isolating. I try to LISTN MORE THAN SPEAK.That way people won't run away. Keep interactions brief.Less chance to offend someone.I will never be "cured".But Don't Give Up.
Thank you for this message. I've recently had a crisis in my beliefs of improving my bpd. You have made me feel that I Can beat this terrible condition and the screaming in my head will eventually leave. Thank you for giving me hope.
I keep watching your videos cause it's the only way I feel validated but I've made up my mind that I wanna end this, I gave myself a year just to keep going but I'm extremely exhausted, I just keep going back to my worst and nothing changes for good. I do wish that if anyone else is going through it, they can survive and live the life they want and deserve.
Psychedelics is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself
I made researches and found out that shrooms are very helpful, it has really helped to reduce anxiety and depression and some other mental health issues
@ thank you so much! I’m currently working through a spiral. And I got excited when you mentioned something about a BPD lens? I have always said that the way my brain works is JUST like that.
Please make a video about decluttering and BPD. The struggle is real, about objects relationship and letting go, plus the thought of l might need this item down the road. I'm trying to be in the mindful logic, mindset, less emotional.
thank you. i am 22, i have been diagnosed since the second i turned 18 when i was first sent to hospital. i have found it so hard to talk about my disorder due to the stigma surrounding it. it took me a long time to feel comfortable and accept my state. i am so glad i found this video when i needed it the most.
I was about to say you've given me hope, and you said i hope this has giving you hope faster then i can type. Im so thankful to find you, i keep finding videos of people expressing bpd as narcissism. I just wanted to bury myself bc i was abused by narcissists.
I'm really glad to hear that my video has given you hope! It's so important to find content that resonates with your experiences. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.
That is rough competition, with the terminator, but my videos will be there for whenever you need them. I wish you all the best and thanks for the feedback.
I just wanna give my thanks, doc. In the last two days of stumbling onto your UA-cam channel and literal years of self-study, doing my own research and fighting with said "family in the head," you've helped me more in a few videos than years of therapy have. I've been to bad therapists and I've heard a lot of bullshit from state-funded assholes that pretend to care but make it blatantly obvious that they don't via the way they conduct themselves in sessions. Thanks for being someone who truly fucking cares, and thanks for making these videos public knowledge
Thank you for sharing your journey with me! I'm really glad to hear that my videos have had such a positive impact. Your resilience is inspiring, and I'm here for you every step of the way.
Im struggling so much right now. Im holding on to that hope as tight as i can. Trying to be aware and not self destruct. Sometimes it can be so hard but i will never give up on myself. I am worth more than a click ❤
Oh how glad I am that I found this channel. I am a parent and carer. After 30 plus years I thought I knew it all. I didn't. Your videos are inspirational and the help you offer is the best I have seen anywhere. So I shall continue to watch very closely from now on as it is helping me to help my daughter. Thank you.
Thank you so much for speaking about the success rate & what we see online. It’s really sad & defeating what’s put out by lots of content creators. I’m getting better about ignoring a lot of the clickbait stuff.
Im scared to feel like i am in remission. Bpd always shows . All that helps is knowledge and staying focused during an episode. Try to keep my self from saying forget it all. All i can do is hold on and ride the damn ride when it shows up. I just had some good weeks . That is a big deal. My times between are getting further apart. Ty for your work. My therapist and i use your stuff more tjan anything. I appreciate you
When I got out of a cult after in for several years I was age 23. I had little knowledge staying out of a cult and abandonment issues that got me in the cult. I studied comparative religion by Joseph Campbell and James Joyce classic litt. that helped the ptsd big time. Studies in psychology helped big time. Then I realized how my humor is so concrete and zanny. I am the last to get higher order of humor. I realized I had some mild form of autism as a hunch. Knowing about treats of cluster B by personality profile helped moderate PTSD, helped moderate BPD. It also helped me carry the ball and chain of autism. I find mental health messy but ironically sanity is related to sanitation. That is living a tidy lifestyle helps I would say. I find complex conversations in group therapy challenging. is this over sharing? probably not-- thou BPD is like that is can come back in odd ways like poor executive function to move from one activity such as dinner is over to do this needed task to prevent boredom and emptiness.
I was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder for the hallucinations i experience. That feeling of emptiness is what really drives me crazy because its like i need to be feeling something but im not and i dont know whats going on so ill do something impulsive just to feel something. Im older now so i have more control over my impulses but when i was younger i did some extreme stuff like become homeless and then also drove from Florida to California on a whim. Also drinking and driving and doing drugs. Self harming and suicide attempts. In and out of jail or mental hospitals. I overcame my drug and alcohol addiction and my last sucide attempt was back in 2019. Im doing better. Just have to overcome my food addiction. I know one of my triggers is social media so i need to back away and limit that.
I was misdiagnosed two years ago with bipolar disorder; however, I’m just figuring out that I’m struggling with BPD. This is such a challenging disorder to live with and I feel so sorry for my fiancé.
Very true, but you and your fiancé consider down and develop parameters and strategies so that reactions to overreactions, by both of you, can be managed. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you Dr. Fox, I think that is the hardest thing for us, simply because he asks me questions like, “what are you triggers” and honestly, I don’t know… sometimes I’m upset for no reason I feel like
I learned a lot from this thank you. I struggle with therapy because i have infrequent bpd episodes where im extremely angry to the point of splitting. I've had therapy to try and prevent this, I'll go and talk it through and understand and learn the exercises and it feels like I'm getting better, they suggest its time to stop and that I'm at a good point. And then a while later I get triggered and have an outburst and the cycle repeats. But the issue is I split and cant remember what I've said and it's scary not knowing whats happened. I dont want to split but nothing seems to stop it once I've gotten to a certain point of upset. I dont want to be angry or make people feel on edge
I have not been diagnosed but I’m certain that BPD is something I have and have been suffering with it for years now. Thank you for this video and explaining the challenges as they are now beginning to not feel like just my problems, as it’s been a battle with myself for too long now. I need to be aware of this and improve on this, as soon as something small goes wrong in my life it’s like a dark cloud of shame and anger for myself covers me and I go from feeling amazing and with it, to lost and disassociated.
Thank you for your kindness, Dr. Fox. Do not know whether poor memory is part of BPD, so this type of reassurance from time to time really helps. God bless you.
Thank you so much Dr Fox. Your videos really help and comfort me as well as helps me as I am trying to learn to live as my girlfriend left me after lots of problems a few days ago. Learning to value myself and my life for other things than my relationship with her.
Im over having it - im sick and tired of feeling every emotion at 2000% and especially during a BPD episode feeling so powerful & bulletproof, yet being terrified of myself but not having any sort of control or awareness of this till i reach my "emotional comedown" and then have to feel the shame, regret and self hatred over what i said or did only for the other person who unfortunately was either the trigger or just was in wrong place and time to feel so damn hurt in my words and actions they want nothing to do with me going forward :-( Im starting to understand the 1 in 10 statistic of us suffers choosing to unalive ourselves - because eventually hurting those closest to us, eventually chips away at the last fragment of our very soul. I am lucky that my greatest fear is death, so personally im safe from that easy route out. And yes before anyone asks - im currently in DBT and are up to the part where both opposites of things arent always left or right but rather they can exist at the same time. Still doesnt help me to regulate my emotions to one where it doesn't leave an extinction level event behind.... Not only did i have to survive Childhood cancer, and dealing with the father figure who raised me that was more than likely the cause of me developing this curse, i also have to live with the consequences and be cursed forever.
It's a massive ball ache. Every minute of the day. Exhausting. 😢 I just feel worthless and not good enough and I'm fed up of all this. It's stopping me progressing in my job and relationships. Plus thankyou Daniel ❤ you xxxxx
Was just now crying lstening to Schostakovich in the bath saying like a child i want my mummy and why didnt you love me? But my mood was otherwise ok and the tears were triggered by the sad music and general sense of tragedy about life, and my own insignificance, my own sad life. I then felt good again and ate a nice snack and listened to this video. The unkind things said about bpd people online, plus the family in my head were gone as a result. It's as if Dr Fox is defending us bpd people and has our back. I needed to feel that hope again!
I am well into my second year "dbt" enlightened, i dont want to overshare, it is a pathalogical re learning process, absolutley exhausting at times, but i can finally look at myself in the mirror and say you did good kid. It is a pervasive disorder but definitely not impossible to heal, but you have to be 100% commited to that process. Will be ordering my dbt cards for my handbag🙂
I Am A Person With BPD, And I Also Have A Fiancé. It's Difficult Trying To Explain To Him What It Feels Like. Thank You For This Professional Outside Perspective On Something That Is Not Easily Helped 🙏🏾
Thank you for making this so much stuff I read online talks about how those with bpd don’t deserve relationships and are manipulative people and while I do see terrible traits in myself than I want to work in this has given me more hope that I can work on these issues
You are the only one I have listened to that totally understands this disorder and so wish you were my therapist,unfortunately I'm in UK, and really think you could help me with my daily struggles,love your vids and they really do help.thank you x
I have been in the middle of such a bad episode of despair and emptiness with my birthday coming up tomorrow, this video helped a lot. I don't want to get close to anyone, I just want to be alone all the time. Even when I do make friends I feel like they don't like me all that much. Men like me for a while because I'm attractive, but they leave eventually. I guess right now the pain of loneliness is the least scary option.
Hit the nail pn the head for me times 100. I have chronic emptiness and no self worth no matter how much i try to yell myself other wise. however i dont smoke or drink i isolate i dont got money to spend unnecessarily, i only had 1 relationship, i orefer to stay alone in my depression then to contaminate the world with my ugly pain. I also have adhd and ruminating thoughts. I often think of not being here but no actual plans its the thought of not feeling in pain for tomorrow is what makes me think of it asa break abd peace. All because of neglect and failure to do better caregivers
I appreciate you Big Time for making these videos! This speaks to me because I’ve been struggling so long and I know something is up I just couldn’t find what it was! I’m going to link with a therapist asap!👍🏾
Try falling in love with a woman who suffers from clinical depression and anxiety…. The no contact phases almost killed me and I still feel like we can be together!!! My current nightmare being an almost 50 year old borderliner
I am having a really bad day and I was about to play a meditation video but this was my first recommendation. Thank you for putting this information out there. I really appreciate it.
I have trouble with being alone for a multitude of reasons, but I found ways to cope. First I had a lot of children. Now I have a lot of cats. I don't think I can't...anymore and I don't feel that empty hole in my heart anymore, but unfortunately I think my partner does and that hurts me to see him that way,
Appreciate every video you put out. I feel better about myself after watching each one, then things start falling part gradually until I see you on here again still believing in us. Thank you.
I think for both the person with bpd as well as the partner, it's better to not get into a relationship. There is absolutely NO excuse for toxic behavior, violence and all the other stuff that comes along with it. Nobody should be at the receiving end of that. Respect yourself, respect the one suffering from it, respect the condition. A loving, stable relationship is a utopia in this situation.
Thank you so much for your videos Dr.Daniel Fox. Where I live I dont have access to see a doctor regularly, and recieve psychological treatment. I refer to your videos attempting to treat my BPD as I further study symptoms and coping methos. Thank youuuuu! Its quite eye opening, listening to you, I often find myself feeling shameful about the negative traits I exhibit and you validate that I will get there one day.
My estranged wife clearly shows 8 of 9 of the diagnostic criteria for BPD. It was really triggered 8 years ago. I believe it was a combination of age and social pressure. She is 9 yrs older than me and she had just turned 44 at that time. Plus she is very well and highly educated. Our business took a step and crazy down turn at that time. We lost a lot of money. We were married for about 12 years very happily before the trigger. I tried incredibly hard to get her help. She sabotaged anything and everything I tried. She became extraordinary abusive towards me, physically (random physical attacks), mentally (gaslighting), emotionally (hurting me with horrible things she was going to do). Then she started drinking wine. (2) bottles before noon everyday. She would continue to drink until 4:00-5:00 pm. This continued for years. Eventually I had enough and filled for divorce and had enough evidence to get custody of our children. The divorce never finalized. Now she has a new man but she has been partying 2-4 times per week at clubs for the last 4 yrs. Her friends and new boyfriend just think she a fun lady. She is a pretty 52 yr old woman that acts like an out of control 14 yr old for the last 4-5 yrs. Very sad and incredibly heartbreaking for me. I have no contacted her after finding out about the other guy. I need to move on. I can no longer be responsible for her behavior and decisions.
@conveyapp Yep. I'm still married to one. She does everything but the wine drinking. She's put me thru a living hell after I was forced into life on the road as a truck driver. Divorce is on the menu as I've recently retired. Live and be well.
😎 Agree. It's very difficult. Especially when having a BPD lens on EACH eye! Self-destruction gets old but at a slower pace than my aging process. 😯 'Maladaptive' is my wife's favorite descriptor. Does she see something that I don't see?? This video gives me a lot of hope! 😊
If I am severe then that’s not my fault. I’ve taken every treatment available to humans. I’m about 85% better behaved now. I had no control over what I didn’t invent. And had no idea about what the disorder actually was. And was undiagnosed. It’s ruined my life and I’m still fighting to get well.
Please reassess the validity of this diagnostic framework* and a lot of the DSM-5 #misogyny #pmdd #hormonalimbalance #excessestrogen #endocrine #traumainformedcare #health
I have been living with bpd for 26 years. I have found being Able to not only spot my triggers but have my DBT skills behind me when I do get triggered.
I have spent many years self sabotaging my relationships and my marriage because I feel the need to have conflict within them even though I hate confrontation and avoid it at all cost. I realize it does nothing but cause harm to me and my loved ones but when things are calm, I have an overwhelming feeling that we are in a bad place because are aren’t “arguing” or discussing something that is bothering us. I’m still trying to understand why I search out the bad in any situation.
It seems to me that choosing past loved ones in a session involving the patient with BPD, the former friend/ partner/ family member, in a safe place with the therapist helping the person with BPD along, would help both parties move on. I know myself, I don't really want to see my friend with BPD in a public place, as I don't trust what to expect. But I'd talk in this setting. This is more for the person with BPD. As time has passed, I know I'm okay to accept that this disorder did those things. I can separate that from the initial intentions my friend had. I feel that with every failed attempt at a relationship, the feeling of being this monster grows for them. I can move on, but If I had one wish for one last contact, having one healthy conversation with my old friend would help.
thanks :( I feel like I am crumbling and I just want people to understand me but I feel like no one does in any way thats good for either of us I am so lonely but I hope someday I wont feel as much like this
I self-sabotage when things seem too calm because I feel like if I punish myself enough I will finally be able to “atone “ for my inherent wickedness. It’s a constant and vicious cycle . I can’t break free .
I understand and relate completely to what you are saying.
You are not alone in this.
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but this is exactly how I feel. I’m sorry y’all feel this too
Watch me from your cage
As I rejoin my painful prime
You and I are relics
We provoke and we recline
Walking in the shadows
Of my blackened mind
Angels crave my sorrow
Sorrow they will find
What if there's a God a hell and heaven
Fire is the torment I must face
Dying by the souls I have forsaken
No one's going to catch my fall from grace
I feel the same way. My self-sabataging nature and need to be punished have caused someone I love great pain because I felt she would be better of without me and I'd be better off alone.
I can completely relate to this
I will feel depression after hanging out with people, even if it was seemingly a positive social interaction. I am convinced that the other person has decided that I'm weird now and that I said a lot of weird things when that's probably not the case. I will be stuck in an intense spiral for a week or two afterwards. I hate it because I know I need to be more social but it's hard to when these feelings are so extreme.
Yea me 2.
I relate to this. I create stories in my mind of what others think of me and even what they say when I leave. It's such a distorted view of reality. I found this channel to be very helpful. I also think the audiobook on UA-cam called Untethered Soul is amazing for those of us with BPD.
Is there any way to not think this way? I don’t think Im comfortable living this way anymore.
You are not alone.
I so get that, once inner work is done you can have a little peace, keep going
I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes Predroshrooms
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
Chronic stress is such a trigger for BPD. I thought I had things under control, but BPD never really goes away. Go too long without checking in with yourself, and you can find bad habits coming back to the surface.
Can you help me , I have some questions about my bpd ex.
100 💯 someday Sharif completely full functioning even four months and then one day one stressor after another and your debilitated and cannot function probably need to be hospitalized and your whole world shatters.
I've finally come to accept that I have this, so I'm looking for coping skills in order to help calm me when I do go through an episode
Chronic stress is such a trigger for inflammation in the human body, period.
AMEN!!
I'm 38 yr old male and I want everyone to know that has BPD that I do hope we have another chance in another life and I want you all to know that I know how hard we love, how heavy we feel abandonment I feel your feelings too you are not alone and to all your Souls I send a piece of my love. I'm feeling your feelings dont forget you are not alone ok ❤🖤❤🖤❤
It's no joke. You be easy too.
And yes we feel their emotions plus ours plus the bpd emotions plus our "lityles' emotions all at once.
I disgust myself that my children ever were scared of me getting mad. I remember being raised by bpd mom. It's the last thing I ever wanted to be. Sometimes the shame is unbearable.
They know I'm doing everything I can to not hurt anyone. I'm longer than I ever imagined you could be , though.
I'm scared i will inevitably be tooooo much.
I don't think I can take another loss. At 49 bpd I'm exhausted
I always thought I had bipolar.. recently I realised that I have bpd
I really love how you stated that. Thanks for sending the love♥
Thank you. I'm not sure what life would be like without this grave emotional dissorder.
I think I'll know when I'm dead.
You have no idea how badly I needed to read this. Thank you so much❤
I have no fear of self-abandonment anymore. I've terminated all personal relationships, so there is no one to abandon me any more. Take that, BPD! 😂
😂😊😂
😂
Yeah!)) we're in the same ⛵ from this perspective specifically ❤
I did it 😁. For once being alive doesn't hurt. It's been months since I've had a crisis. You're videos have helped me through the years. Thank you 💜
I hope you are still feeling positive
So proud 🥹 ❤❤❤
Much love ❤️
@@JennyLynn-x9o I am 😊, it's been almost year and a half since I've had a crisis. I used to have them weekly. Life is still good 👍
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Being broken is my comfort zone. I mean constant instabililty and misery is a kind of stability on its own, when you think about it. Thinking about what my life COULD be on the other hand makes me feel incredibly anxious and sad, anxious when I think about all the obstacles I have put in my own way over the years and sad because I`m mourning all the things that could have been. I honestly prefer feeling angry and like a bad person all the time over feeling anxious, sad and hopeless.
Every word you wrote I can honestly say I relate to the fullest
Some people with this condition dont get help also end up hurting others & making them ill!!!!!
I'm only happy when it rains lol
You just described my life experience. I’m 32 and only now I’m realizing I have BPD.
I've never seen someone else say the same things I have in such exact words
I m a person living with bpd in Turkey and i follow you for sometime and in the most darkest times you are helping me out. I am also an actor and i will be on stage when your video starts but i d like to watch it. Hope everyone who has this condition can find a council like you at some point. Regards.
Can you help me. I have some questions about my bpd ex ? please reply.
I want friends with BPD so that I can talk to them and feel understood ,, let's create a whatsapp group
YES ME TOO! AM ALL 4 IT! GOD BLESSED US ALL!💋💞🌷💪🙏
"Oh no my life is amazing and I have an acting job"
You don't have BPD
JESUS LOVES YOU ❤SO MUCH
I once was given advice by a pastor who had gotten out of a hole many of us find ourselves in. He said whatever shape you wake up in, do your best to work with that shape. If one morning you're a circle, be the best circle. If one morning you're a square, be the best square. If you are a triangle, be the best triangle. I'm 44 and I have never heard that before so if it helps credit to the man willing to give advice.🙏👍 I wish to put it to practice more 🙂
I desire greatly to be in a healthy & stable relationship, as well as career. I’ve had plenty of opportunities for that but self sabotage came into play 😔 so, I’m taking the time & necessary steps to become better. It’s certainly not easy but I will have these things! ❤
I've given up on thinking I'll ever be "cured." My brain is just too fucked up to fantasize about that, anymore.
I'm just hoping to find some... some... "thing" that can help me get through my difficult times/moments. A mantra. A saying or anything.
I've tried a thousand different coping mechanisms. Nothing really sticks. It either loses effectiveness after saying it a dozen times or is just not memorable enough.
I pray for the day I find an inner voice that's just as effective as the one currently in my brain, constantly telling me I'm a fucking idiot and a loser. Now, THAT voice has been going strong for YEARS! 😅😢
The focus on cure may be the issue. Focus on managing it. Very different.
@@DrDanielFox excellent reply. Thank you Doc
You are a true doctor of the mind.
Seeing everyone commenting gives me hope. I’m in a very high period with symptoms and it’s making life hellish. Much respect to everyone struggling with this illness. I just received the workbook and I am very much hopeful it will help bring much needed balance to my moods and life over time. I’m really glad I found this account.
I just want to be happy.
I’m married but now that I know I struggle with BPD, I often think I would be better to everyone else if I was not in a relationship. I feel bad for my hubby but I’m trying my best for him. He’s put up with a lot of drama from me and deserves the best for sure.
I completely understand what you're going through. I'm not in a relationship but I'm a single mother to a wonderful 6 year old... I stay feeling guilty and sad and depressed and like a bad mother... I constantly beat myself up.. if we don't go to the park on the weekend and choose to stay home I'll beat myself up. I will convince myself I'm a bad mother.
Much love ❤
do u hate him sometimes
I have been watching you for years now, and I just want to say THANK YOU from those of us who have been struggling to afford the mental health help & support they need. Your videos and workbooks are wonderful tools to help me gain benefits that I truly need from therapy ❤ You are helping so many - God bless you 🙏🙌
I'm 77 years young and had this label put on me at age 22; and I can verify that the label itself makes a person's life difficult....in too many ways to mention. I wish the "powers that be" would change this label.
There's NO powers to be that's why it exists in the first place
I so so so needed this tonight. Bf of three years was secretly married and I found out in the most crushing way. I didn’t eat for three days and ended up at urgent care with anxiety *but* what helped me was remembering that I could not overly attach to these feelings, that they are telling me a much more intense tale than actually exists. I was fine before this (lying) man and will be fine after 💪 the dramatic voices fearing otherwise are just that-voices that mislead me away from calmness and sanity and into darkness. Definitely a work in progress ! :)
Oh my gosh that's Terrible. Sending you lots of love and positive wishes ❤ hope you'll find happiness
Holy shit that's absolutely horrible. Take the time you need to recover, I wish you luck
Just wanted to say your so strong and that you are worth more than that and that there are people out there who deserve your love ❤
@@amyharding7150 thank you so so much💖💖you are so sweet and I have tried to live in a way in the time since in a manner that my future self will be proud of😊I’ve done a ton of EMDR, concentrated so much of my energy as a mom and in my professional life, have a personal trainer and fulfilled a personal dream to go to Tahiti ☀️I feel like if I keep doing the right things, my heart will heal more and more over time 💖💖
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's crushing when that happens especially when that person almost seems like they weren't really there. It's a terrifying feeling. I'm glad that urgent care was there for you. I hope you can recover from this person and know your worth. You are wonderful regardless of what this man chose to do. ❤️
I'm 42 and after a life of chaos n pain, to finally understand, this is such a bittersweet pill for me, thank you for your work Sir I finally see a little bit of hope ✌️❤️
I am using your book, a DBT workbook by Matthew Mckay, Jefferet Wood, and Jefferey Brantley. I seem to live in this cycle of doing well and then falling apart in a very destructive manner. Your videos have helped my sister and mom understand this disorder and why I act as I do at times. I am 42 and male, in case you are curious. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos as they seem to show up on my feed at just the right time. Could be divine intervention, who knows! I am a subscriber to this channel as well.
I would say that this book actually changed my life. I’m almost 27 and I have gotten to doing well in terms of how BPD affects me for the first time after getting through the workbook
@@qazplmm632 It took me a year to finish the book by Mckay and I'm 42% into Dr. Fox's book. Reading is the easiest part but establishing that constant mindful awareness, journaling, meditation, and accepting the way I am is still very challenging for me. I am aiming for remission of my symptoms.
@@InstrumentvanVrede I wish you good luck. I took notes from the book and made myself a macro for my phone. So I can open it and for example remind myself of how to challenge my core content or how can I calm myself down. Maybe you could try something like that as well.
And it really works, when someone pushes my emotional button now, I'm able to notice that I am getting agitated, understand why do I feel this way and instead of being impulsive I calm myself down. I never knew that was possible
@@qazplmm632 My progress has been dependent on my being active in reviewing the original DBT book I bought a year ago and making my way through Dr. Fox's book. I went through the initial assessments, and I hand-wrote all my answers. I am 42% into his workbook. If I skip a few days of study, I begin to regress back into my maladaptive behaviors. Usually leading to me melting down and rupturing my relationship with my mom and sister. I am 42, and was misdiagnosed with bipolar 1 for 13 years (I don't mind sharing).
This is the comment I was looking for. This is the first video I've seen of this doctor. I was impressed so I had to check the comments and now I see he's just like the other doctors on UA-cam. They give you a little bit of information and then sell you the rest. This kind of thing is really making me lose hope in humanity. 😢
I can't tell you how badly I needed a little perspective, a little validation, a little hope just now and boom! This video popped up.
Thank you.
me too, hope your feeling better
I can be who I want to be
True
Man It's no joke hoe much relief this video gave me,I finally got officially diagnosed BPD & OCD today. I have suspected it for so long,I am scheduled to start DBT next week.I am in my earliest tweenies here fighting these with abusive narcissistic family with anyone much to rely on for emotional or financial support. I am so scared inside I needed this assurances,
I’m glad you found the video helpful.
Me Too!GOD BLESSED US ALL STAY STRONG!💋💞🌷💪🙏
Thank you Dr Fox. You have no idea how helpful this video is. The shame I feel, the internal negative voice, take such huge effort to overcome. “Normal” people don’t understand how much energy it takes for people with BPD to function as “normal”.
This is so true for me. I can start weeping if I let my thoughts go where they want.
I am the same way. If I let my mind run I find myself in the same position especially when you feel you could have handled it differently but it’s just hard.
I first started watching your videos about a year and a half ago when I was in the midst of the lowest mental health season I'd ever experienced. I was only recently diagnosed with BPD and everything I found on the internet made it seem like a relational and literal death sentence - except your channel. I remember hearing you talk about symptom remission and thinking that just wasn't realistic for me ... Here I am, now 210 days clean of SH, 6.5 months pregnant with a sweet baby boy, and in remission from a majority of my symptoms! I've been able to reduce my therapy attendance from twice a week to twice a month! My commitment towards staying in the "maintenance mode" with my BPD is strong and I have so much more grace for myself on the days where I wake up and my comorbidities (MDD and CPTSD) make it a struggle - a commitment to changing my perspective has made all the difference. I know that a feeling is just a feeling and it will pass. I utilized my personal therapy, your videos and your workbook to help me get here!
Thank you for your commitment to the mental health field, but specifically the BPD community. You're a beacon of hope for so many of us.
Thanks for this comment, I needed to read this more than I can explain. Congratulations truly! Knowing it’s realistically possible to get where you are, where I felt like I was not too terribly long ago, is very reassuring that it can be done! Idk if this is a thing anywhere, but are there like support/constructive aid groups for other people with same disorder? Sorry if that’s weird to ask, it’s just overwhelming to also not know anyone in my age who can understand my brain even a little. Again congratulations on all your progress. ☺️
@@SlyLilly There are DBT groups held in some areas, and maybe online. I haven't attended one as of yet, but my therapist said that he facilitates one once a week. So maybe/hopefully you can find one too!
@@SlyLilly Also r3ddit has some groups for BPD, and I have found that it is a nice place to at least have conversations with others that understand what we are going through.
I hope this helps!
@@bcrwarlock1974thank you. I have no idea how R3ddit works but imma look into learning it 😅 I have no one to relate with and I’m freshly moved back to EU. Thank you again!
❤ 🙏 ❤
my mother is very narcissistic emotionally abusive. i think she had undiagnosed bpd as well, and i think because of her behavior i’ve developed bpd as well. i cannot ask for her to get me help because she’d be furious, so these videos help me so much. thank you.
1) It's too hard.
2) I feel like I am a horrible liar no matter what I try to tell myself.
3) I am never going to be CURED so what's the bloody point?
4) Sick of being alive, but don't have enough courage to take my own life.
Courage comes from the heart, and your heart doesn’t want to stop. ❤
I am 64.Been trying to "fit in"my whole life. It does not happen.You must have SOMETHING THAT GIVES YOU PEACE AND JOY.
Music. NATURE.Crafts. Art. USE THAT .EVERY DAY IS A INTENSE EFFORT TO BE "NORMAL"
What makes me different I tap into and that is how I try to cope.Get a pet. Volunteer for something. Get a canoe or kayak or Mountain bike and look for friends that way .We often end up self isolating.
I try to LISTN MORE THAN SPEAK.That way people won't run away. Keep interactions brief.Less chance to offend someone.I will never be "cured".But Don't Give Up.
I’m so tired of being my worst enemy! 😢 I’m an author and I have a degree but I’m so ready to give up! I have no support system
Thank you for this message.
I've recently had a crisis in my beliefs of improving my bpd.
You have made me feel that I Can beat this terrible condition and the screaming in my head will eventually leave.
Thank you for giving me hope.
Thanks for always bringing back compassion and understanding of people with this disorder☮
I keep watching your videos cause it's the only way I feel validated but I've made up my mind that I wanna end this, I gave myself a year just to keep going but I'm extremely exhausted, I just keep going back to my worst and nothing changes for good.
I do wish that if anyone else is going through it, they can survive and live the life they want and deserve.
Have you tried DBT?
God Blessed You Always!💞🌷💪🙏
DBT will change your life. Hang on
Psychedelics is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself
Yes , doctor_mckenzie
Sells psychedelics
I made researches and found out that shrooms are very helpful, it has really helped to reduce anxiety and depression and some other mental health issues
@@Marksonfixedmatcheswow, where can I locate him, Is it on IG?
All the problems that these compounds can help solve, and the potential for peace they have.
@@lauramaria2212Yeah, as doctor_mckenzie he has been my supplier for a year now
I just wanna be happy without failure
Failure is only when you stop trying, sounds cliche but it's true. Never give up, especially on yourself.
Goodness. This is something I battle with. I have been using your workbook for BPD and it has been wonderful.
I'm so glad to hear that the workbook has been helpful for you! Keep working through it, and remember that you're not alone in this journey.
@ thank you so much! I’m currently working through a spiral. And I got excited when you mentioned something about a BPD lens? I have always said that the way my brain works is JUST like that.
Please make a video about decluttering and BPD. The struggle is real, about objects relationship and letting go, plus the thought of l might need this item down the road. I'm trying to be in the mindful logic, mindset, less emotional.
thank you. i am 22, i have been diagnosed since the second i turned 18 when i was first sent to hospital. i have found it so hard to talk about my disorder due to the stigma surrounding it. it took me a long time to feel comfortable and accept my state. i am so glad i found this video when i needed it the most.
I was about to say you've given me hope, and you said i hope this has giving you hope faster then i can type. Im so thankful to find you, i keep finding videos of people expressing bpd as narcissism. I just wanted to bury myself bc i was abused by narcissists.
I'm really glad to hear that my video has given you hope! It's so important to find content that resonates with your experiences. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a broadcast at 2 pm. Cutting it close, Doc!
I can do both.
That is rough competition, with the terminator, but my videos will be there for whenever you need them. I wish you all the best and thanks for the feedback.
I got Arnie to move it to noon.
Thank you so much for this. I struggle with having BPD and your encouraging words felt so heart warming.
You are so welcome!
Thank you so much for your empathy
i jus wish ppl realize we feel more than most like i swear im not mean fr
I just wanna give my thanks, doc. In the last two days of stumbling onto your UA-cam channel and literal years of self-study, doing my own research and fighting with said "family in the head," you've helped me more in a few videos than years of therapy have. I've been to bad therapists and I've heard a lot of bullshit from state-funded assholes that pretend to care but make it blatantly obvious that they don't via the way they conduct themselves in sessions. Thanks for being someone who truly fucking cares, and thanks for making these videos public knowledge
Thank you for sharing your journey with me! I'm really glad to hear that my videos have had such a positive impact. Your resilience is inspiring, and I'm here for you every step of the way.
Im struggling so much right now. Im holding on to that hope as tight as i can. Trying to be aware and not self destruct. Sometimes it can be so hard but i will never give up on myself. I am worth more than a click ❤
Oh how glad I am that I found this channel. I am a parent and carer. After 30 plus years I thought I knew it all. I didn't. Your videos are inspirational and the help you offer is the best I have seen anywhere. So I shall continue to watch very closely from now on as it is helping me to help my daughter. Thank you.
Thank you so much for speaking about the success rate & what we see online. It’s really sad & defeating what’s put out by lots of content creators. I’m getting better about ignoring a lot of the clickbait stuff.
Im scared to feel like i am in remission. Bpd always shows . All that helps is knowledge and staying focused during an episode. Try to keep my self from saying forget it all. All i can do is hold on and ride the damn ride when it shows up. I just had some good weeks . That is a big deal. My times between are getting further apart. Ty for your work. My therapist and i use your stuff more tjan anything. I appreciate you
When I got out of a cult after in for several years I was age 23. I had little knowledge staying out of a cult and abandonment issues that got me in the cult. I studied comparative religion by Joseph Campbell and James Joyce classic litt. that helped the ptsd big time. Studies in psychology helped big time. Then I realized how my humor is so concrete and zanny. I am the last to get higher order of humor. I realized I had some mild form of autism as a hunch. Knowing about treats of cluster B by personality profile helped moderate PTSD, helped moderate BPD. It also helped me carry the ball and chain of autism. I find mental health messy but ironically sanity is related to sanitation. That is living a tidy lifestyle helps I would say. I find complex conversations in group therapy challenging. is this over sharing? probably not-- thou BPD is like that is can come back in odd ways like poor executive function to move from one activity such as dinner is over to do this needed task to prevent boredom and emptiness.
Thanks for posting. Keep that sense of humour;-)
Your channel is GOLD
I was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder for the hallucinations i experience. That feeling of emptiness is what really drives me crazy because its like i need to be feeling something but im not and i dont know whats going on so ill do something impulsive just to feel something. Im older now so i have more control over my impulses but when i was younger i did some extreme stuff like become homeless and then also drove from Florida to California on a whim. Also drinking and driving and doing drugs. Self harming and suicide attempts. In and out of jail or mental hospitals. I overcame my drug and alcohol addiction and my last sucide attempt was back in 2019. Im doing better. Just have to overcome my food addiction. I know one of my triggers is social media so i need to back away and limit that.
Much love ❤
I was misdiagnosed two years ago with bipolar disorder; however, I’m just figuring out that I’m struggling with BPD. This is such a challenging disorder to live with and I feel so sorry for my fiancé.
Very true, but you and your fiancé consider down and develop parameters and strategies so that reactions to overreactions, by both of you, can be managed. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you Dr. Fox, I think that is the hardest thing for us, simply because he asks me questions like, “what are you triggers” and honestly, I don’t know… sometimes I’m upset for no reason I feel like
I learned a lot from this thank you. I struggle with therapy because i have infrequent bpd episodes where im extremely angry to the point of splitting. I've had therapy to try and prevent this, I'll go and talk it through and understand and learn the exercises and it feels like I'm getting better, they suggest its time to stop and that I'm at a good point. And then a while later I get triggered and have an outburst and the cycle repeats. But the issue is I split and cant remember what I've said and it's scary not knowing whats happened. I dont want to split but nothing seems to stop it once I've gotten to a certain point of upset. I dont want to be angry or make people feel on edge
Your content is life-changing. Thank you
I have not been diagnosed but I’m certain that BPD is something I have and have been suffering with it for years now. Thank you for this video and explaining the challenges as they are now beginning to not feel like just my problems, as it’s been a battle with myself for too long now. I need to be aware of this and improve on this, as soon as something small goes wrong in my life it’s like a dark cloud of shame and anger for myself covers me and I go from feeling amazing and with it, to lost and disassociated.
It's great that you found the video helpful. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.
Thank you for your kindness, Dr. Fox. Do not know whether poor memory is part of BPD, so this type of reassurance from time to time really helps. God bless you.
Thank you so much Dr Fox. Your videos really help and comfort me as well as helps me as I am trying to learn to live as my girlfriend left me after lots of problems a few days ago. Learning to value myself and my life for other things than my relationship with her.
Sending positive thoughts your way. Glad to hear you’re choosing to focus on yourself following your breakup. All the best 😊
@@ChandlerMuriBing Obviously that is a lie I am fucking dying
I watched this in the middle of an episode and I feel understood. Thank you
i needed to hear the things you just said, i’ve never felt so understood, thank you dr fox ❤
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Im over having it - im sick and tired of feeling every emotion at 2000% and especially during a BPD episode feeling so powerful & bulletproof, yet being terrified of myself but not having any sort of control or awareness of this till i reach my "emotional comedown" and then have to feel the shame, regret and self hatred over what i said or did only for the other person who unfortunately was either the trigger or just was in wrong place and time to feel so damn hurt in my words and actions they want nothing to do with me going forward :-(
Im starting to understand the 1 in 10 statistic of us suffers choosing to unalive ourselves - because eventually hurting those closest to us, eventually chips away at the last fragment of our very soul. I am lucky that my greatest fear is death, so personally im safe from that easy route out.
And yes before anyone asks - im currently in DBT and are up to the part where both opposites of things arent always left or right but rather they can exist at the same time. Still doesnt help me to regulate my emotions to one where it doesn't leave an extinction level event behind....
Not only did i have to survive Childhood cancer, and dealing with the father figure who raised me that was more than likely the cause of me developing this curse, i also have to live with the consequences and be cursed forever.
If there's no drama I'd create it just so I can feel noticed or something like that.
After 6 years of therapy, I reconize my cognitive distortions/ dellusions but still have them & still somtimes avoid situations because of them.
It's a massive ball ache. Every minute of the day. Exhausting. 😢 I just feel worthless and not good enough and I'm fed up of all this. It's stopping me progressing in my job and relationships. Plus thankyou Daniel ❤ you xxxxx
You’re welcome. Pushback on that negative self talk. Be well
Was just now crying lstening to Schostakovich in the bath saying like a child i want my mummy and why didnt you love me? But my mood was otherwise ok and the tears were triggered by the sad music and general sense of tragedy about life, and my own insignificance, my own sad life. I then felt good again and ate a nice snack and listened to this video. The unkind things said about bpd people online, plus the family in my head were gone as a result. It's as if Dr Fox is defending us bpd people and has our back. I needed to feel that hope again!
I am well into my second year "dbt" enlightened, i dont want to overshare, it is a pathalogical re learning process, absolutley exhausting at times, but i can finally look at myself in the mirror and say you did good kid. It is a pervasive disorder but definitely not impossible to heal, but you have to be 100% commited to that process. Will be ordering my dbt cards for my handbag🙂
Thank god I found you ! I finally understand myself
I Am A Person With BPD, And I Also Have A Fiancé. It's Difficult Trying To Explain To Him What It Feels Like. Thank You For This Professional Outside Perspective On Something That Is Not Easily Helped 🙏🏾
You’re very welcome 😊
Knowledge is our only power. Ty for your tools so much😊
Thank you for making this so much stuff I read online talks about how those with bpd don’t deserve relationships and are manipulative people and while I do see terrible traits in myself than I want to work in this has given me more hope that I can work on these issues
You are the only one I have listened to that totally understands this disorder and so wish you were my therapist,unfortunately I'm in UK, and really think you could help me with my daily struggles,love your vids and they really do help.thank you x
Gym and exercise help alot.
I have been in the middle of such a bad episode of despair and emptiness with my birthday coming up tomorrow, this video helped a lot. I don't want to get close to anyone, I just want to be alone all the time. Even when I do make friends I feel like they don't like me all that much. Men like me for a while because I'm attractive, but they leave eventually. I guess right now the pain of loneliness is the least scary option.
Hit the nail pn the head for me times 100. I have chronic emptiness and no self worth no matter how much i try to yell myself other wise. however i dont smoke or drink i isolate i dont got money to spend unnecessarily, i only had 1 relationship, i orefer to stay alone in my depression then to contaminate the world with my ugly pain. I also have adhd and ruminating thoughts. I often think of not being here but no actual plans its the thought of not feeling in pain for tomorrow is what makes me think of it asa break abd peace. All because of neglect and failure to do better caregivers
Thank you! This video gave me a lot of hope ❤❤
I appreciate you Big Time for making these videos! This speaks to me because I’ve been struggling so long and I know something is up I just couldn’t find what it was! I’m going to link with a therapist asap!👍🏾
Hard to deal with my fear of abandonment especially when I purposely push people away… when really I want to be held.
I think this shows really good insight and I think that you can use this to develop adaptive strategies to help you build healthy relationships.
Try falling in love with a woman who suffers from clinical depression and anxiety….
The no contact phases almost killed me and I still feel like we can be together!!! My current nightmare being an almost 50 year old borderliner
I’ve got called narcissist and that shit pissed me off 😂
I am having a really bad day and I was about to play a meditation video but this was my first recommendation. Thank you for putting this information out there. I really appreciate it.
I love you doctor. You give me hope and peace of mind.❤
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@@DrDanielFox 💐❤️🙏🏼
I have trouble with being alone for a multitude of reasons, but I found ways to cope. First I had a lot of children. Now I have a lot of cats. I don't think I can't...anymore and I don't feel that empty hole in my heart anymore, but unfortunately I think my partner does and that hurts me to see him that way,
Thanks for another informative and helpful video Dr. Fox.
Appreciate every video you put out. I feel better about myself after watching each one, then things start falling part gradually until I see you on here again still believing in us. Thank you.
thank you Dr. Fox, your content helps me feel understood and inspired to change.
You're very welcome
I think for both the person with bpd as well as the partner, it's better to not get into a relationship.
There is absolutely NO excuse for toxic behavior, violence and all the other stuff that comes along with it. Nobody should be at the receiving end of that.
Respect yourself, respect the one suffering from it, respect the condition. A loving, stable relationship is a utopia in this situation.
Thank you so much for your videos Dr.Daniel Fox. Where I live I dont have access to see a doctor regularly, and recieve psychological treatment. I refer to your videos attempting to treat my BPD as I further study symptoms and coping methos. Thank youuuuu! Its quite eye opening, listening to you, I often find myself feeling shameful about the negative traits I exhibit and you validate that I will get there one day.
Thank you, Dr Fox. I wish we could meet. Your videos help me SO much
His Houston accent relaxes me. 😊
As someone who suffers bpd this hurts to hear because it's all true especially the abandonment fears 😢
I appreciate your honesty and sharing your experience.
I’ve just been diagnosed with BPD. Thank you for this video, helps a lot 🙏🏻
You're so welcome!
My estranged wife clearly shows 8 of 9 of the diagnostic criteria for BPD. It was really triggered 8 years ago. I believe it was a combination of age and social pressure. She is 9 yrs older than me and she had just turned 44 at that time. Plus she is very well and highly educated. Our business took a step and crazy down turn at that time. We lost a lot of money. We were married for about 12 years very happily before the trigger. I tried incredibly hard to get her help. She sabotaged anything and everything I tried. She became extraordinary abusive towards me, physically (random physical attacks), mentally (gaslighting), emotionally (hurting me with horrible things she was going to do). Then she started drinking wine. (2) bottles before noon everyday. She would continue to drink until 4:00-5:00 pm. This continued for years. Eventually I had enough and filled for divorce and had enough evidence to get custody of our children. The divorce never finalized. Now she has a new man but she has been partying 2-4 times per week at clubs for the last 4 yrs. Her friends and new boyfriend just think she a fun lady. She is a pretty 52 yr old woman that acts like an out of control 14 yr old for the last 4-5 yrs. Very sad and incredibly heartbreaking for me. I have no contacted her after finding out about the other guy. I need to move on. I can no longer be responsible for her behavior and decisions.
@conveyapp
Yep. I'm still married to one.
She does everything but the wine drinking. She's put me thru a living hell after I was forced into life on the road as a truck driver. Divorce is on the menu as I've recently retired.
Live and be well.
@@socialisttrafficregulator2015 I’m sorry to hear that.
I love this so much. Recently purchased one of your workbooks. Thank you ❤
I have just been diagnosed with this… my mother has it so I should have known
😎 Agree. It's very difficult. Especially when having a BPD lens on EACH eye! Self-destruction gets old but at a slower pace than my aging process. 😯 'Maladaptive' is my wife's favorite descriptor. Does she see something that I don't see?? This video gives me a lot of hope! 😊
Dear Dr. FOX , My experience of long term mental health isdues from
If I am severe then that’s not my fault. I’ve taken every treatment available to humans. I’m about 85% better behaved now. I had no control over what I didn’t invent. And had no idea about what the disorder actually was. And was undiagnosed. It’s ruined my life and I’m still fighting to get well.
Please reassess the validity of this diagnostic framework* and a lot of the DSM-5
#misogyny #pmdd #hormonalimbalance #excessestrogen #endocrine #traumainformedcare #health
I have been living with bpd for 26 years. I have found being Able to not only spot my triggers but have my DBT skills behind me when I do get triggered.
That’s terrific.be well.
I have spent many years self sabotaging my relationships and my marriage because I feel the need to have conflict within them even though I hate confrontation and avoid it at all cost. I realize it does nothing but cause harm to me and my loved ones but when things are calm, I have an overwhelming feeling that we are in a bad place because are aren’t “arguing” or discussing something that is bothering us. I’m still trying to understand why I search out the bad in any situation.
It seems to me that choosing past loved ones in a session involving the patient with BPD, the former friend/ partner/ family member, in a safe place with the therapist helping the person with BPD along, would help both parties move on. I know myself, I don't really want to see my friend with BPD in a public place, as I don't trust what to expect. But I'd talk in this setting. This is more for the person with BPD. As time has passed, I know I'm okay to accept that this disorder did those things. I can separate that from the initial intentions my friend had. I feel that with every failed attempt at a relationship, the feeling of being this monster grows for them. I can move on, but If I had one wish for one last contact, having one healthy conversation with my old friend would help.
It's important to acknowledge the impact of past relationships on all parties involved. Communication and understanding can go a long way in healing.
thanks :( I feel like I am crumbling and I just want people to understand me but I feel like no one does in any way thats good for either of us
I am so lonely but I hope someday I wont feel as much like this
same. You’re not alone❤