How to Cope with the Challenges of Living with BPD

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  • Опубліковано 10 лис 2024
  • Cope with your BPD symptoms using my BPD Card Deck: The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
    Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
    shorturl.at/bxB05
    If you're living with BPD, then you know that life can be a struggle. This video we'll discuss some of the common challenges and struggles that people living with BPD face. We'll also discuss how to cope with these challenges and live a more healthy and fulfilling life!
    Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
    He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
    The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
    Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
    rb.gy/hdyqyy
    Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2a...
    The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
    Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
    Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
    The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
    Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
    UA-cam: / @drdanielfox
    Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
    Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychology...
    Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
    Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
    LinkedIn: / drdfox
    Instagram: / drdfox
    Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
    Videos edited by Emil Christopher: emilchristopheredits@gmail.com
    Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
    If you or a loved one is struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), then this video is for you. In it, Dr. Fox shares advice on how to cope with the challenges of living with BPD.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 446

  • @JohnGeorge-pw2xo
    @JohnGeorge-pw2xo 7 днів тому +75

    I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.

    • @gusna82266
      @gusna82266 7 днів тому

      I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.

    • @MorrisBasar-jm9lc
      @MorrisBasar-jm9lc 6 днів тому

      Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏

    • @DonnDenisse
      @DonnDenisse 6 днів тому +1

      Yes Predroshrooms

    • @NetaZjdb
      @NetaZjdb 6 днів тому

      I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.

    • @MarcWilliams-dz7ik
      @MarcWilliams-dz7ik 6 днів тому

      Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google

  • @lauramcclain8651
    @lauramcclain8651 Рік тому +429

    I self-sabotage when things seem too calm because I feel like if I punish myself enough I will finally be able to “atone “ for my inherent wickedness. It’s a constant and vicious cycle . I can’t break free .

    • @bcrwarlock1974
      @bcrwarlock1974 Рік тому +20

      I understand and relate completely to what you are saying.
      You are not alone in this.

    • @JuneTurner-rn8ui
      @JuneTurner-rn8ui Рік тому +14

      I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but this is exactly how I feel. I’m sorry y’all feel this too

    • @SiriusDraconis
      @SiriusDraconis Рік тому +10

      Watch me from your cage
      As I rejoin my painful prime
      You and I are relics
      We provoke and we recline
      Walking in the shadows
      Of my blackened mind
      Angels crave my sorrow
      Sorrow they will find
      What if there's a God a hell and heaven
      Fire is the torment I must face
      Dying by the souls I have forsaken
      No one's going to catch my fall from grace

    • @angelfuentes9397
      @angelfuentes9397 Рік тому +10

      I feel the same way. My self-sabataging nature and need to be punished have caused someone I love great pain because I felt she would be better of without me and I'd be better off alone.

    • @martyscott1974
      @martyscott1974 Рік тому +2

      I can completely relate to this

  • @itsmejoy8918
    @itsmejoy8918 Рік тому +228

    I will feel depression after hanging out with people, even if it was seemingly a positive social interaction. I am convinced that the other person has decided that I'm weird now and that I said a lot of weird things when that's probably not the case. I will be stuck in an intense spiral for a week or two afterwards. I hate it because I know I need to be more social but it's hard to when these feelings are so extreme.

    • @nerdybird6532
      @nerdybird6532 Рік тому +5

      Yea me 2.

    • @stars_for_night_lights
      @stars_for_night_lights 9 місяців тому +11

      I relate to this. I create stories in my mind of what others think of me and even what they say when I leave. It's such a distorted view of reality. I found this channel to be very helpful. I also think the audiobook on UA-cam called Untethered Soul is amazing for those of us with BPD.

    • @theshumanat0r537
      @theshumanat0r537 5 місяців тому +2

      Is there any way to not think this way? I don’t think Im comfortable living this way anymore.

    • @unebaskyte4250
      @unebaskyte4250 4 місяці тому

      You are not alone.

    • @Emscom
      @Emscom 28 днів тому

      I so get that, once inner work is done you can have a little peace, keep going

  • @painoftheheart12
    @painoftheheart12 Рік тому +306

    Chronic stress is such a trigger for BPD. I thought I had things under control, but BPD never really goes away. Go too long without checking in with yourself, and you can find bad habits coming back to the surface.

    • @dannystark7668
      @dannystark7668 Рік тому +2

      Can you help me , I have some questions about my bpd ex.

    • @clouddancer46
      @clouddancer46 Рік тому +8

      100 💯 someday Sharif completely full functioning even four months and then one day one stressor after another and your debilitated and cannot function probably need to be hospitalized and your whole world shatters.

    • @kezmenflowers8691
      @kezmenflowers8691 Рік тому +4

      I've finally come to accept that I have this, so I'm looking for coping skills in order to help calm me when I do go through an episode

    • @moringaottawa
      @moringaottawa Рік тому +7

      Chronic stress is such a trigger for inflammation in the human body, period.

    • @linalg10
      @linalg10 6 місяців тому

      AMEN!!

  • @borderline2022
    @borderline2022 Рік тому +125

    I'm 38 yr old male and I want everyone to know that has BPD that I do hope we have another chance in another life and I want you all to know that I know how hard we love, how heavy we feel abandonment I feel your feelings too you are not alone and to all your Souls I send a piece of my love. I'm feeling your feelings dont forget you are not alone ok ❤🖤❤🖤❤

    • @JennyLynn-x9o
      @JennyLynn-x9o Рік тому +8

      It's no joke. You be easy too.
      And yes we feel their emotions plus ours plus the bpd emotions plus our "lityles' emotions all at once.
      I disgust myself that my children ever were scared of me getting mad. I remember being raised by bpd mom. It's the last thing I ever wanted to be. Sometimes the shame is unbearable.
      They know I'm doing everything I can to not hurt anyone. I'm longer than I ever imagined you could be , though.
      I'm scared i will inevitably be tooooo much.
      I don't think I can take another loss. At 49 bpd I'm exhausted

    • @Happysoul_3
      @Happysoul_3 7 місяців тому +5

      I always thought I had bipolar.. recently I realised that I have bpd

    • @kjd3339
      @kjd3339 6 місяців тому +4

      I really love how you stated that. Thanks for sending the love♥

    • @natechaloux5436
      @natechaloux5436 6 місяців тому +6

      Thank you. I'm not sure what life would be like without this grave emotional dissorder.
      I think I'll know when I'm dead.

    • @christophergatt7062
      @christophergatt7062 5 місяців тому +4

      You have no idea how badly I needed to read this. Thank you so much❤

  • @vanessap.4810
    @vanessap.4810 Рік тому +130

    I did it 😁. For once being alive doesn't hurt. It's been months since I've had a crisis. You're videos have helped me through the years. Thank you 💜

    • @JennyLynn-x9o
      @JennyLynn-x9o Рік тому +2

      I hope you are still feeling positive

    • @regularlyinconsistent5788
      @regularlyinconsistent5788 11 місяців тому +2

      So proud 🥹 ❤❤❤

    • @DavidAKZ
      @DavidAKZ 9 місяців тому +2

      Much love ❤️

    • @vanessap.4810
      @vanessap.4810 9 місяців тому

      @@JennyLynn-x9o I am 😊, it's been almost year and a half since I've had a crisis. I used to have them weekly. Life is still good 👍

    • @seththechefnola
      @seththechefnola 6 місяців тому +2

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @selfsabotagingbanana0451
    @selfsabotagingbanana0451 Рік тому +61

    Being broken is my comfort zone. I mean constant instabililty and misery is a kind of stability on its own, when you think about it. Thinking about what my life COULD be on the other hand makes me feel incredibly anxious and sad, anxious when I think about all the obstacles I have put in my own way over the years and sad because I`m mourning all the things that could have been. I honestly prefer feeling angry and like a bad person all the time over feeling anxious, sad and hopeless.

    • @tabithaarnsdorf7527
      @tabithaarnsdorf7527 Рік тому +7

      Every word you wrote I can honestly say I relate to the fullest

    • @justkim339
      @justkim339 Рік тому +1

      Some people with this condition dont get help also end up hurting others & making them ill!!!!!

    • @kstrat14
      @kstrat14 5 місяців тому

      I'm only happy when it rains lol

    • @marym3355
      @marym3355 3 місяці тому +1

      You just described my life experience. I’m 32 and only now I’m realizing I have BPD.

    • @ImSeeingStarz
      @ImSeeingStarz 13 днів тому

      I've never seen someone else say the same things I have in such exact words

  • @alpbasar9813
    @alpbasar9813 Рік тому +114

    I m a person living with bpd in Turkey and i follow you for sometime and in the most darkest times you are helping me out. I am also an actor and i will be on stage when your video starts but i d like to watch it. Hope everyone who has this condition can find a council like you at some point. Regards.

    • @dannystark7668
      @dannystark7668 Рік тому +1

      Can you help me. I have some questions about my bpd ex ? please reply.

    • @nathanndumb8190
      @nathanndumb8190 Рік тому +4

      I want friends with BPD so that I can talk to them and feel understood ,, let's create a whatsapp group

    • @Christine-jg3hf
      @Christine-jg3hf Рік тому

      YES ME TOO! AM ALL 4 IT! GOD BLESSED US ALL!💋💞🌷💪🙏

    • @ryan.1990
      @ryan.1990 Рік тому

      "Oh no my life is amazing and I have an acting job"
      You don't have BPD

    • @PricelessJesus
      @PricelessJesus 8 місяців тому

      JESUS LOVES YOU ❤SO MUCH

  • @SlyLilly
    @SlyLilly Рік тому +37

    Seeing everyone commenting gives me hope. I’m in a very high period with symptoms and it’s making life hellish. Much respect to everyone struggling with this illness. I just received the workbook and I am very much hopeful it will help bring much needed balance to my moods and life over time. I’m really glad I found this account.

  • @MamaCancer23
    @MamaCancer23 Рік тому +34

    I desire greatly to be in a healthy & stable relationship, as well as career. I’ve had plenty of opportunities for that but self sabotage came into play 😔 so, I’m taking the time & necessary steps to become better. It’s certainly not easy but I will have these things! ❤

  • @hard_at_work
    @hard_at_work 9 місяців тому +10

    I once was given advice by a pastor who had gotten out of a hole many of us find ourselves in. He said whatever shape you wake up in, do your best to work with that shape. If one morning you're a circle, be the best circle. If one morning you're a square, be the best square. If you are a triangle, be the best triangle. I'm 44 and I have never heard that before so if it helps credit to the man willing to give advice.🙏👍 I wish to put it to practice more 🙂

  • @dcullen8681
    @dcullen8681 4 місяці тому +4

    I'm 42 and after a life of chaos n pain, to finally understand, this is such a bittersweet pill for me, thank you for your work Sir I finally see a little bit of hope ✌️❤️

  • @19dresses
    @19dresses Рік тому +55

    I have been watching you for years now, and I just want to say THANK YOU from those of us who have been struggling to afford the mental health help & support they need. Your videos and workbooks are wonderful tools to help me gain benefits that I truly need from therapy ❤ You are helping so many - God bless you 🙏🙌

  • @JeyFox
    @JeyFox 2 місяці тому +27

    I have no fear of self-abandonment anymore. I've terminated all personal relationships, so there is no one to abandon me any more. Take that, BPD! 😂

  • @Huntington12345678
    @Huntington12345678 5 місяців тому +12

    I've given up on thinking I'll ever be "cured." My brain is just too fucked up to fantasize about that, anymore.
    I'm just hoping to find some... some... "thing" that can help me get through my difficult times/moments. A mantra. A saying or anything.
    I've tried a thousand different coping mechanisms. Nothing really sticks. It either loses effectiveness after saying it a dozen times or is just not memorable enough.
    I pray for the day I find an inner voice that's just as effective as the one currently in my brain, constantly telling me I'm a fucking idiot and a loser. Now, THAT voice has been going strong for YEARS! 😅😢

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  5 місяців тому +5

      The focus on cure may be the issue. Focus on managing it. Very different.

    • @favouritemusic8959
      @favouritemusic8959 2 місяці тому +1

      @@DrDanielFox excellent reply. Thank you Doc
      You are a true doctor of the mind.

  • @zero_bs_tolerance8646
    @zero_bs_tolerance8646 Рік тому +13

    I can't tell you how badly I needed a little perspective, a little validation, a little hope just now and boom! This video popped up.
    Thank you.

    • @raniaislam__
      @raniaislam__ 8 місяців тому

      me too, hope your feeling better

  • @la-liz7682
    @la-liz7682 Рік тому +30

    I so so so needed this tonight. Bf of three years was secretly married and I found out in the most crushing way. I didn’t eat for three days and ended up at urgent care with anxiety *but* what helped me was remembering that I could not overly attach to these feelings, that they are telling me a much more intense tale than actually exists. I was fine before this (lying) man and will be fine after 💪 the dramatic voices fearing otherwise are just that-voices that mislead me away from calmness and sanity and into darkness. Definitely a work in progress ! :)

    • @hb6839
      @hb6839 Рік тому +4

      Oh my gosh that's Terrible. Sending you lots of love and positive wishes ❤ hope you'll find happiness

    • @vulhorn
      @vulhorn Рік тому +3

      Holy shit that's absolutely horrible. Take the time you need to recover, I wish you luck

    • @amyharding7150
      @amyharding7150 Рік тому +2

      Just wanted to say your so strong and that you are worth more than that and that there are people out there who deserve your love ❤

    • @la-liz7682
      @la-liz7682 Рік тому

      @@amyharding7150 thank you so so much💖💖you are so sweet and I have tried to live in a way in the time since in a manner that my future self will be proud of😊I’ve done a ton of EMDR, concentrated so much of my energy as a mom and in my professional life, have a personal trainer and fulfilled a personal dream to go to Tahiti ☀️I feel like if I keep doing the right things, my heart will heal more and more over time 💖💖

    • @ronniselvan6243
      @ronniselvan6243 8 місяців тому +2

      I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's crushing when that happens especially when that person almost seems like they weren't really there. It's a terrifying feeling. I'm glad that urgent care was there for you. I hope you can recover from this person and know your worth. You are wonderful regardless of what this man chose to do. ❤️

  • @InstrumentvanVrede
    @InstrumentvanVrede Рік тому +54

    I am using your book, a DBT workbook by Matthew Mckay, Jefferet Wood, and Jefferey Brantley. I seem to live in this cycle of doing well and then falling apart in a very destructive manner. Your videos have helped my sister and mom understand this disorder and why I act as I do at times. I am 42 and male, in case you are curious. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos as they seem to show up on my feed at just the right time. Could be divine intervention, who knows! I am a subscriber to this channel as well.

    • @qazplmm632
      @qazplmm632 Рік тому +3

      I would say that this book actually changed my life. I’m almost 27 and I have gotten to doing well in terms of how BPD affects me for the first time after getting through the workbook

    • @InstrumentvanVrede
      @InstrumentvanVrede Рік тому +3

      @@qazplmm632 It took me a year to finish the book by Mckay and I'm 42% into Dr. Fox's book. Reading is the easiest part but establishing that constant mindful awareness, journaling, meditation, and accepting the way I am is still very challenging for me. I am aiming for remission of my symptoms.

    • @qazplmm632
      @qazplmm632 Рік тому

      @@InstrumentvanVrede I wish you good luck. I took notes from the book and made myself a macro for my phone. So I can open it and for example remind myself of how to challenge my core content or how can I calm myself down. Maybe you could try something like that as well.
      And it really works, when someone pushes my emotional button now, I'm able to notice that I am getting agitated, understand why do I feel this way and instead of being impulsive I calm myself down. I never knew that was possible

    • @InstrumentvanVrede
      @InstrumentvanVrede Рік тому

      @@qazplmm632 My progress has been dependent on my being active in reviewing the original DBT book I bought a year ago and making my way through Dr. Fox's book. I went through the initial assessments, and I hand-wrote all my answers. I am 42% into his workbook. If I skip a few days of study, I begin to regress back into my maladaptive behaviors. Usually leading to me melting down and rupturing my relationship with my mom and sister. I am 42, and was misdiagnosed with bipolar 1 for 13 years (I don't mind sharing).

    • @wanderingIvy67
      @wanderingIvy67 Рік тому +1

      This is the comment I was looking for. This is the first video I've seen of this doctor. I was impressed so I had to check the comments and now I see he's just like the other doctors on UA-cam. They give you a little bit of information and then sell you the rest. This kind of thing is really making me lose hope in humanity. 😢

  • @Lex-je1jd
    @Lex-je1jd Рік тому +65

    I’m married but now that I know I struggle with BPD, I often think I would be better to everyone else if I was not in a relationship. I feel bad for my hubby but I’m trying my best for him. He’s put up with a lot of drama from me and deserves the best for sure.

    • @tabithaarnsdorf7527
      @tabithaarnsdorf7527 Рік тому +5

      I completely understand what you're going through. I'm not in a relationship but I'm a single mother to a wonderful 6 year old... I stay feeling guilty and sad and depressed and like a bad mother... I constantly beat myself up.. if we don't go to the park on the weekend and choose to stay home I'll beat myself up. I will convince myself I'm a bad mother.

    • @DavidAKZ
      @DavidAKZ 9 місяців тому

      Much love ❤

    • @AshA-bt5fg
      @AshA-bt5fg 5 місяців тому +1

      do u hate him sometimes

  • @vivienlegeisha3425
    @vivienlegeisha3425 Рік тому +5

    Thank you Dr Fox. You have no idea how helpful this video is. The shame I feel, the internal negative voice, take such huge effort to overcome. “Normal” people don’t understand how much energy it takes for people with BPD to function as “normal”.

  • @meherunmeher4195
    @meherunmeher4195 Рік тому +19

    Man It's no joke hoe much relief this video gave me,I finally got officially diagnosed BPD & OCD today. I have suspected it for so long,I am scheduled to start DBT next week.I am in my earliest tweenies here fighting these with abusive narcissistic family with anyone much to rely on for emotional or financial support. I am so scared inside I needed this assurances,

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Рік тому +4

      I’m glad you found the video helpful.

    • @Christine-jg3hf
      @Christine-jg3hf Рік тому +1

      Me Too!GOD BLESSED US ALL STAY STRONG!💋💞🌷💪🙏

  • @MichaelDerousselle
    @MichaelDerousselle Рік тому +7

    This is so true for me. I can start weeping if I let my thoughts go where they want.

    • @JoeDadii
      @JoeDadii Рік тому +3

      I am the same way. If I let my mind run I find myself in the same position especially when you feel you could have handled it differently but it’s just hard.

  • @CanadianPhinsFan853
    @CanadianPhinsFan853 Рік тому +34

    1) It's too hard.
    2) I feel like I am a horrible liar no matter what I try to tell myself.
    3) I am never going to be CURED so what's the bloody point?
    4) Sick of being alive, but don't have enough courage to take my own life.

    • @lifeoutsidecomfortzone
      @lifeoutsidecomfortzone 4 місяці тому +3

      Courage comes from the heart, and your heart doesn’t want to stop. ❤

    • @Jason-eh3uj
      @Jason-eh3uj 3 місяці тому +2

      I am 64.Been trying to "fit in"my whole life. It does not happen.You must have SOMETHING THAT GIVES YOU PEACE AND JOY.
      Music. NATURE.Crafts. Art. USE THAT .EVERY DAY IS A INTENSE EFFORT TO BE "NORMAL"
      What makes me different I tap into and that is how I try to cope.Get a pet. Volunteer for something. Get a canoe or kayak or Mountain bike and look for friends that way .We often end up self isolating.
      I try to LISTN MORE THAN SPEAK.That way people won't run away. Keep interactions brief.Less chance to offend someone.I will never be "cured".But Don't Give Up.

  • @thevansickelherps
    @thevansickelherps Рік тому +17

    I first started watching your videos about a year and a half ago when I was in the midst of the lowest mental health season I'd ever experienced. I was only recently diagnosed with BPD and everything I found on the internet made it seem like a relational and literal death sentence - except your channel. I remember hearing you talk about symptom remission and thinking that just wasn't realistic for me ... Here I am, now 210 days clean of SH, 6.5 months pregnant with a sweet baby boy, and in remission from a majority of my symptoms! I've been able to reduce my therapy attendance from twice a week to twice a month! My commitment towards staying in the "maintenance mode" with my BPD is strong and I have so much more grace for myself on the days where I wake up and my comorbidities (MDD and CPTSD) make it a struggle - a commitment to changing my perspective has made all the difference. I know that a feeling is just a feeling and it will pass. I utilized my personal therapy, your videos and your workbook to help me get here!
    Thank you for your commitment to the mental health field, but specifically the BPD community. You're a beacon of hope for so many of us.

    • @SlyLilly
      @SlyLilly Рік тому +6

      Thanks for this comment, I needed to read this more than I can explain. Congratulations truly! Knowing it’s realistically possible to get where you are, where I felt like I was not too terribly long ago, is very reassuring that it can be done! Idk if this is a thing anywhere, but are there like support/constructive aid groups for other people with same disorder? Sorry if that’s weird to ask, it’s just overwhelming to also not know anyone in my age who can understand my brain even a little. Again congratulations on all your progress. ☺️

    • @bcrwarlock1974
      @bcrwarlock1974 Рік тому +3

      ​@@SlyLilly There are DBT groups held in some areas, and maybe online. I haven't attended one as of yet, but my therapist said that he facilitates one once a week. So maybe/hopefully you can find one too!

    • @bcrwarlock1974
      @bcrwarlock1974 Рік тому +3

      ​@@SlyLilly Also r3ddit has some groups for BPD, and I have found that it is a nice place to at least have conversations with others that understand what we are going through.
      I hope this helps!

    • @SlyLilly
      @SlyLilly Рік тому +2

      @@bcrwarlock1974thank you. I have no idea how R3ddit works but imma look into learning it 😅 I have no one to relate with and I’m freshly moved back to EU. Thank you again!

    • @LinYouToo
      @LinYouToo Рік тому +1

      ❤ 🙏 ❤

  • @BonitaBrandt
    @BonitaBrandt Рік тому +40

    I'm 77 years young and had this label put on me at age 22; and I can verify that the label itself makes a person's life difficult....in too many ways to mention. I wish the "powers that be" would change this label.

  • @lynnmalin
    @lynnmalin 6 місяців тому +3

    Thank you for this message.
    I've recently had a crisis in my beliefs of improving my bpd.
    You have made me feel that I Can beat this terrible condition and the screaming in my head will eventually leave.
    Thank you for giving me hope.

  • @reaude
    @reaude Рік тому +8

    Thanks for always bringing back compassion and understanding of people with this disorder☮

  • @grlsneverdie
    @grlsneverdie 11 місяців тому +3

    my mother is very narcissistic emotionally abusive. i think she had undiagnosed bpd as well, and i think because of her behavior i’ve developed bpd as well. i cannot ask for her to get me help because she’d be furious, so these videos help me so much. thank you.

  • @senyfelix1525
    @senyfelix1525 Рік тому +12

    I keep watching your videos cause it's the only way I feel validated but I've made up my mind that I wanna end this, I gave myself a year just to keep going but I'm extremely exhausted, I just keep going back to my worst and nothing changes for good.
    I do wish that if anyone else is going through it, they can survive and live the life they want and deserve.

  • @Vinchi2k
    @Vinchi2k 7 місяців тому +4

    I just want to be happy.

  • @zackrundell5469
    @zackrundell5469 Місяць тому +3

    I can be who I want to be

  • @andreahernandez9182
    @andreahernandez9182 Рік тому +5

    Thank you so much for your empathy

  • @extraspicytigerroll
    @extraspicytigerroll 11 днів тому

    Goodness. This is something I battle with. I have been using your workbook for BPD and it has been wonderful.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  11 днів тому +1

      I'm so glad to hear that the workbook has been helpful for you! Keep working through it, and remember that you're not alone in this journey.

    • @extraspicytigerroll
      @extraspicytigerroll 11 днів тому

      @ thank you so much! I’m currently working through a spiral. And I got excited when you mentioned something about a BPD lens? I have always said that the way my brain works is JUST like that.

  • @carinastaniak4435
    @carinastaniak4435 3 місяці тому

    thank you. i am 22, i have been diagnosed since the second i turned 18 when i was first sent to hospital. i have found it so hard to talk about my disorder due to the stigma surrounding it. it took me a long time to feel comfortable and accept my state. i am so glad i found this video when i needed it the most.

  • @judybee
    @judybee Рік тому

    Oh how glad I am that I found this channel. I am a parent and carer. After 30 plus years I thought I knew it all. I didn't. Your videos are inspirational and the help you offer is the best I have seen anywhere. So I shall continue to watch very closely from now on as it is helping me to help my daughter. Thank you.

  • @nataliachies8623
    @nataliachies8623 Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much for this. I struggle with having BPD and your encouraging words felt so heart warming.

  • @bijpls4059
    @bijpls4059 Рік тому +6

    Sigh it's so tiring, im rly grateful fr my fam, friends and doctors 😭. Im moderate-severe too... Its so tiring just fkin existing jfc. I realize most others feel the same way as i do, i just feel it 28489248x more intense 💀😊

  • @stars_for_night_lights
    @stars_for_night_lights 9 місяців тому +1

    Your channel is GOLD

  • @nappyfries
    @nappyfries 6 місяців тому

    Thank you so much for speaking about the success rate & what we see online. It’s really sad & defeating what’s put out by lots of content creators. I’m getting better about ignoring a lot of the clickbait stuff.

  • @stephaniemorgan6284
    @stephaniemorgan6284 Рік тому +28

    Psychedelics is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself

    • @Marksonfixedmatches
      @Marksonfixedmatches Рік тому

      Yes , doctor_mckenzie
      Sells psychedelics

    • @derickmartens
      @derickmartens Рік тому +1

      I made researches and found out that shrooms are very helpful, it has really helped to reduce anxiety and depression and some other mental health issues

    • @lauramaria2212
      @lauramaria2212 Рік тому +1

      ​@@Marksonfixedmatcheswow, where can I locate him, Is it on IG?

    • @geraldmiller5343
      @geraldmiller5343 Рік тому +1

      All the problems that these compounds can help solve, and the potential for peace they have.

    • @Marksonfixedmatches
      @Marksonfixedmatches Рік тому

      ​@@lauramaria2212Yeah, as doctor_mckenzie he has been my supplier for a year now

  • @drankjuice5271
    @drankjuice5271 6 місяців тому +4

    I’m so tired of being my worst enemy! 😢 I’m an author and I have a degree but I’m so ready to give up! I have no support system

  • @she_warrior1
    @she_warrior1 2 дні тому

    I was about to say you've given me hope, and you said i hope this has giving you hope faster then i can type. Im so thankful to find you, i keep finding videos of people expressing bpd as narcissism. I just wanted to bury myself bc i was abused by narcissists.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  2 дні тому +1

      I'm really glad to hear that my video has given you hope! It's so important to find content that resonates with your experiences. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.

  • @alphadog3384
    @alphadog3384 Рік тому +3

    Please make a video about decluttering and BPD. The struggle is real, about objects relationship and letting go, plus the thought of l might need this item down the road. I'm trying to be in the mindful logic, mindset, less emotional.

  • @MB-wk3he
    @MB-wk3he Рік тому

    Thank you for your kindness, Dr. Fox. Do not know whether poor memory is part of BPD, so this type of reassurance from time to time really helps. God bless you.

  • @klausdelpezzo3029
    @klausdelpezzo3029 2 місяці тому

    I just wanna give my thanks, doc. In the last two days of stumbling onto your UA-cam channel and literal years of self-study, doing my own research and fighting with said "family in the head," you've helped me more in a few videos than years of therapy have. I've been to bad therapists and I've heard a lot of bullshit from state-funded assholes that pretend to care but make it blatantly obvious that they don't via the way they conduct themselves in sessions. Thanks for being someone who truly fucking cares, and thanks for making these videos public knowledge

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  2 місяці тому

      Thank you for sharing your journey with me! I'm really glad to hear that my videos have had such a positive impact. Your resilience is inspiring, and I'm here for you every step of the way.

  • @jenniferscott3527
    @jenniferscott3527 Рік тому

    Im struggling so much right now. Im holding on to that hope as tight as i can. Trying to be aware and not self destruct. Sometimes it can be so hard but i will never give up on myself. I am worth more than a click ❤

  • @madeleinechow2641
    @madeleinechow2641 19 днів тому

    Your content is life-changing. Thank you

  • @JennyLynn-x9o
    @JennyLynn-x9o Рік тому +1

    Im scared to feel like i am in remission. Bpd always shows . All that helps is knowledge and staying focused during an episode. Try to keep my self from saying forget it all. All i can do is hold on and ride the damn ride when it shows up. I just had some good weeks . That is a big deal. My times between are getting further apart. Ty for your work. My therapist and i use your stuff more tjan anything. I appreciate you

  • @lovaaaa2451
    @lovaaaa2451 Рік тому +4

    Thank you so much Dr Fox. Your videos really help and comfort me as well as helps me as I am trying to learn to live as my girlfriend left me after lots of problems a few days ago. Learning to value myself and my life for other things than my relationship with her.

    • @ChandlerMuriBing
      @ChandlerMuriBing Рік тому +1

      Sending positive thoughts your way. Glad to hear you’re choosing to focus on yourself following your breakup. All the best 😊

    • @lovaaaa2451
      @lovaaaa2451 Рік тому

      @@ChandlerMuriBing Obviously that is a lie I am fucking dying

  • @chrisyroche7633
    @chrisyroche7633 Рік тому +4

    I was misdiagnosed two years ago with bipolar disorder; however, I’m just figuring out that I’m struggling with BPD. This is such a challenging disorder to live with and I feel so sorry for my fiancé.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Рік тому +4

      Very true, but you and your fiancé consider down and develop parameters and strategies so that reactions to overreactions, by both of you, can be managed. I wish you all the best.

    • @chrisyroche7633
      @chrisyroche7633 Рік тому +2

      @@DrDanielFox Thank you Dr. Fox, I think that is the hardest thing for us, simply because he asks me questions like, “what are you triggers” and honestly, I don’t know… sometimes I’m upset for no reason I feel like

  • @dominicrobinette6647
    @dominicrobinette6647 16 днів тому

    i needed to hear the things you just said, i’ve never felt so understood, thank you dr fox ❤

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  16 днів тому

      I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

  • @Aphaea_
    @Aphaea_ 7 місяців тому

    I watched this in the middle of an episode and I feel understood. Thank you

  • @thereisnosanctuary6184
    @thereisnosanctuary6184 Рік тому +7

    Arnold Schwarzenegger has a broadcast at 2 pm. Cutting it close, Doc!
    I can do both.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Рік тому +11

      That is rough competition, with the terminator, but my videos will be there for whenever you need them. I wish you all the best and thanks for the feedback.

    • @thereisnosanctuary6184
      @thereisnosanctuary6184 Рік тому +4

      I got Arnie to move it to noon.

  • @Hellerp
    @Hellerp 10 місяців тому

    Thank god I found you ! I finally understand myself

  • @IbnTufayl1
    @IbnTufayl1 Рік тому +2

    Thank you! This video gave me a lot of hope ❤❤

  • @nicolabutwell743
    @nicolabutwell743 Рік тому

    You are the only one I have listened to that totally understands this disorder and so wish you were my therapist,unfortunately I'm in UK, and really think you could help me with my daily struggles,love your vids and they really do help.thank you x

  • @dankmemes4986
    @dankmemes4986 Рік тому

    Thank you for making this so much stuff I read online talks about how those with bpd don’t deserve relationships and are manipulative people and while I do see terrible traits in myself than I want to work in this has given me more hope that I can work on these issues

  • @bridadon7371
    @bridadon7371 5 місяців тому +3

    I just wanna be happy without failure

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  5 місяців тому +1

      Failure is only when you stop trying, sounds cliche but it's true. Never give up, especially on yourself.

  • @kezmenflowers8691
    @kezmenflowers8691 Рік тому +2

    I was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder for the hallucinations i experience. That feeling of emptiness is what really drives me crazy because its like i need to be feeling something but im not and i dont know whats going on so ill do something impulsive just to feel something. Im older now so i have more control over my impulses but when i was younger i did some extreme stuff like become homeless and then also drove from Florida to California on a whim. Also drinking and driving and doing drugs. Self harming and suicide attempts. In and out of jail or mental hospitals. I overcame my drug and alcohol addiction and my last sucide attempt was back in 2019. Im doing better. Just have to overcome my food addiction. I know one of my triggers is social media so i need to back away and limit that.

    • @DavidAKZ
      @DavidAKZ 9 місяців тому

      Much love ❤

  • @kristyjean6219
    @kristyjean6219 Рік тому

    Appreciate every video you put out. I feel better about myself after watching each one, then things start falling part gradually until I see you on here again still believing in us. Thank you.

  • @JennyLynn-x9o
    @JennyLynn-x9o Рік тому

    Knowledge is our only power. Ty for your tools so much😊

  • @bobbygemini5435
    @bobbygemini5435 Рік тому

    I Am A Person With BPD, And I Also Have A Fiancé. It's Difficult Trying To Explain To Him What It Feels Like. Thank You For This Professional Outside Perspective On Something That Is Not Easily Helped 🙏🏾

  • @jackiegrice714
    @jackiegrice714 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for another informative and helpful video Dr. Fox.

  • @breahgardiner3702
    @breahgardiner3702 Рік тому

    After 6 years of therapy, I reconize my cognitive distortions/ dellusions but still have them & still somtimes avoid situations because of them.

  • @linalg10
    @linalg10 6 місяців тому

    I appreciate you Big Time for making these videos! This speaks to me because I’ve been struggling so long and I know something is up I just couldn’t find what it was! I’m going to link with a therapist asap!👍🏾

  • @tonytee9979
    @tonytee9979 7 місяців тому

    I have not been diagnosed but I’m certain that BPD is something I have and have been suffering with it for years now. Thank you for this video and explaining the challenges as they are now beginning to not feel like just my problems, as it’s been a battle with myself for too long now. I need to be aware of this and improve on this, as soon as something small goes wrong in my life it’s like a dark cloud of shame and anger for myself covers me and I go from feeling amazing and with it, to lost and disassociated.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  7 місяців тому

      It's great that you found the video helpful. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.

  • @86Sentra
    @86Sentra Рік тому +9

    i jus wish ppl realize we feel more than most like i swear im not mean fr

  • @15bernard33
    @15bernard33 Рік тому +3

    When I got out of a cult after in for several years I was age 23. I had little knowledge staying out of a cult and abandonment issues that got me in the cult. I studied comparative religion by Joseph Campbell and James Joyce classic litt. that helped the ptsd big time. Studies in psychology helped big time. Then I realized how my humor is so concrete and zanny. I am the last to get higher order of humor. I realized I had some mild form of autism as a hunch. Knowing about treats of cluster B by personality profile helped moderate PTSD, helped moderate BPD. It also helped me carry the ball and chain of autism. I find mental health messy but ironically sanity is related to sanitation. That is living a tidy lifestyle helps I would say. I find complex conversations in group therapy challenging. is this over sharing? probably not-- thou BPD is like that is can come back in odd ways like poor executive function to move from one activity such as dinner is over to do this needed task to prevent boredom and emptiness.

    • @DavidAKZ
      @DavidAKZ 9 місяців тому

      Thanks for posting. Keep that sense of humour;-)

  • @bpd_emi
    @bpd_emi Рік тому +1

    thank you Dr. Fox, your content helps me feel understood and inspired to change.

  • @Bluemoonjellyfishh
    @Bluemoonjellyfishh Рік тому

    Thank you so much for your videos Dr.Daniel Fox. Where I live I dont have access to see a doctor regularly, and recieve psychological treatment. I refer to your videos attempting to treat my BPD as I further study symptoms and coping methos. Thank youuuuu! Its quite eye opening, listening to you, I often find myself feeling shameful about the negative traits I exhibit and you validate that I will get there one day.

  • @gabrielaf2282
    @gabrielaf2282 Рік тому

    I am having a really bad day and I was about to play a meditation video but this was my first recommendation. Thank you for putting this information out there. I really appreciate it.

  • @anna-rosephipps3132
    @anna-rosephipps3132 Рік тому

    Was just now crying lstening to Schostakovich in the bath saying like a child i want my mummy and why didnt you love me? But my mood was otherwise ok and the tears were triggered by the sad music and general sense of tragedy about life, and my own insignificance, my own sad life. I then felt good again and ate a nice snack and listened to this video. The unkind things said about bpd people online, plus the family in my head were gone as a result. It's as if Dr Fox is defending us bpd people and has our back. I needed to feel that hope again!

  • @carolinemorrissey4602
    @carolinemorrissey4602 Рік тому +6

    I am well into my second year "dbt" enlightened, i dont want to overshare, it is a pathalogical re learning process, absolutley exhausting at times, but i can finally look at myself in the mirror and say you did good kid. It is a pervasive disorder but definitely not impossible to heal, but you have to be 100% commited to that process. Will be ordering my dbt cards for my handbag🙂

  • @word_salad_bingo
    @word_salad_bingo 6 місяців тому

    I have been in the middle of such a bad episode of despair and emptiness with my birthday coming up tomorrow, this video helped a lot. I don't want to get close to anyone, I just want to be alone all the time. Even when I do make friends I feel like they don't like me all that much. Men like me for a while because I'm attractive, but they leave eventually. I guess right now the pain of loneliness is the least scary option.

  • @rainbeau9752
    @rainbeau9752 Рік тому

    Thank you, Dr Fox. I wish we could meet. Your videos help me SO much

  • @666ABCDEFG
    @666ABCDEFG 10 місяців тому

    I love you doctor. You give me hope and peace of mind.❤

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  10 місяців тому +1

      I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

    • @666ABCDEFG
      @666ABCDEFG 10 місяців тому

      @@DrDanielFox 💐❤️🙏🏼

  • @CadmusAU
    @CadmusAU 9 місяців тому +1

    Im over having it - im sick and tired of feeling every emotion at 2000% and especially during a BPD episode feeling so powerful & bulletproof, yet being terrified of myself but not having any sort of control or awareness of this till i reach my "emotional comedown" and then have to feel the shame, regret and self hatred over what i said or did only for the other person who unfortunately was either the trigger or just was in wrong place and time to feel so damn hurt in my words and actions they want nothing to do with me going forward :-(
    Im starting to understand the 1 in 10 statistic of us suffers choosing to unalive ourselves - because eventually hurting those closest to us, eventually chips away at the last fragment of our very soul. I am lucky that my greatest fear is death, so personally im safe from that easy route out.
    And yes before anyone asks - im currently in DBT and are up to the part where both opposites of things arent always left or right but rather they can exist at the same time. Still doesnt help me to regulate my emotions to one where it doesn't leave an extinction level event behind....
    Not only did i have to survive Childhood cancer, and dealing with the father figure who raised me that was more than likely the cause of me developing this curse, i also have to live with the consequences and be cursed forever.

  • @danielestaub9445
    @danielestaub9445 Рік тому +1

    😎 Agree. It's very difficult. Especially when having a BPD lens on EACH eye! Self-destruction gets old but at a slower pace than my aging process. 😯 'Maladaptive' is my wife's favorite descriptor. Does she see something that I don't see?? This video gives me a lot of hope! 😊

  • @Rainybliss
    @Rainybliss Рік тому

    I love this so much. Recently purchased one of your workbooks. Thank you ❤

  • @rose4490
    @rose4490 Рік тому

    His Houston accent relaxes me. 😊

  • @LRT___
    @LRT___ Рік тому

    I’ve just been diagnosed with BPD. Thank you for this video, helps a lot 🙏🏻

  • @palapalak.8907
    @palapalak.8907 Рік тому +1

    Gym and exercise help alot.

  • @Jade-gb2xr
    @Jade-gb2xr Рік тому +8

    Hard to deal with my fear of abandonment especially when I purposely push people away… when really I want to be held.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Рік тому +1

      I think this shows really good insight and I think that you can use this to develop adaptive strategies to help you build healthy relationships.

  • @LuvRainKinnyaani
    @LuvRainKinnyaani 10 місяців тому

    Hit the nail pn the head for me times 100. I have chronic emptiness and no self worth no matter how much i try to yell myself other wise. however i dont smoke or drink i isolate i dont got money to spend unnecessarily, i only had 1 relationship, i orefer to stay alone in my depression then to contaminate the world with my ugly pain. I also have adhd and ruminating thoughts. I often think of not being here but no actual plans its the thought of not feeling in pain for tomorrow is what makes me think of it asa break abd peace. All because of neglect and failure to do better caregivers

  • @zenzesperspectives
    @zenzesperspectives 11 місяців тому

    Ohmygod I needed this😭😭😭😭

  • @hillarisosa7032
    @hillarisosa7032 Рік тому +2

    I’ve got called narcissist and that shit pissed me off 😂

  • @jessicacranmer4436
    @jessicacranmer4436 Рік тому +1

    I have been living with bpd for 26 years. I have found being Able to not only spot my triggers but have my DBT skills behind me when I do get triggered.

  • @paulshields5938
    @paulshields5938 2 місяці тому

    Try falling in love with a woman who suffers from clinical depression and anxiety….
    The no contact phases almost killed me and I still feel like we can be together!!! My current nightmare being an almost 50 year old borderliner

  • @Zaber_Za
    @Zaber_Za 6 місяців тому +2

    If there's no drama I'd create it just so I can feel noticed or something like that.

  • @cheezburgr32
    @cheezburgr32 7 днів тому

    Thank you for this

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  7 днів тому +1

      I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

  • @mroosie7488
    @mroosie7488 8 місяців тому

    I have just been diagnosed with this… my mother has it so I should have known

  • @royalpitamamma
    @royalpitamamma 20 днів тому

    I have trouble with being alone for a multitude of reasons, but I found ways to cope. First I had a lot of children. Now I have a lot of cats. I don't think I can't...anymore and I don't feel that empty hole in my heart anymore, but unfortunately I think my partner does and that hurts me to see him that way,

  • @VIDS2013
    @VIDS2013 6 місяців тому +1

    BPD is a brain circuitry anomaly, and it NEVER changes. Anyone who meets the diagnostic criteria for BPD as an adult will never be cured. (There's a major difference in this regard between people with some BPD traits vs. a BPD diagnosis.)

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  6 місяців тому +1

      These statements about change are not based on research and clinical outcomes of the last 20+ years. I want to encourage you to review this literature. Thank you for your opinion. Be well

    • @VIDS2013
      @VIDS2013 6 місяців тому

      @@DrDanielFox I am aware of recent clinical literature. However, in my dealings with Borderlines, Narcissists, psychopaths, etc., it is my personal observation that these people can easily fool psychologists in a clinical setting. The people who live with them and encounter them 'in the wild' are much better barometers of their progress (or lack of it).
      The other problem is that a huge number of mental health professionals are Narcissists, and that factor isn't accounted for in the conclusions. So what you're probably seeing in studies is, to some degree, the result of confirmation bias--basically psychopaths saying, "We're not so bad!"

  • @daynelawless
    @daynelawless Рік тому

    Thank you Dr Fox.

  • @reddirtreptilespetsexotics3304
    @reddirtreptilespetsexotics3304 Місяць тому

    I have spent many years self sabotaging my relationships and my marriage because I feel the need to have conflict within them even though I hate confrontation and avoid it at all cost. I realize it does nothing but cause harm to me and my loved ones but when things are calm, I have an overwhelming feeling that we are in a bad place because are aren’t “arguing” or discussing something that is bothering us. I’m still trying to understand why I search out the bad in any situation.

  • @Elaine-it9ne
    @Elaine-it9ne 7 місяців тому

    Dear Dr. FOX , My experience of long term mental health isdues from

  • @bobbynwanze
    @bobbynwanze Місяць тому

    thank you for this

  • @lonestar1104
    @lonestar1104 4 місяці тому

    As someone who suffers bpd this hurts to hear because it's all true especially the abandonment fears 😢

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  4 місяці тому

      I appreciate your honesty and sharing your experience.

  • @MySpaceDxC_Suffo_AtTheGates
    @MySpaceDxC_Suffo_AtTheGates 6 місяців тому

    If I am severe then that’s not my fault. I’ve taken every treatment available to humans. I’m about 85% better behaved now. I had no control over what I didn’t invent. And had no idea about what the disorder actually was. And was undiagnosed. It’s ruined my life and I’m still fighting to get well.

  • @EmotionalAbuseSurvivors
    @EmotionalAbuseSurvivors Рік тому

    Thanks for making a video on bpd