New York City crushed my dreams like a little roach 🪳 squish
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- Опубліковано 12 лис 2022
- To be fair...did new york city actually crush my dreams or did I just crumble under the pressure? This is a universal problem. Hopefully sharing my mistakes will help you know what to expect living in new york if you are thinking about moving here. Hopefully if you have also reached rock bottom living in nyc, then we can commiserate together :)
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girl yes. I don't even live in NYC. Being a single lady in the city, I've really lost my ambition. Because I realized no matter how hard I work, I'm still treading water financially, in my career, everything. I pushed myself so far that I lost my mental health and my physical health. I realized no goal was worth losing those things for, so I simply *gave up*. I'm finding an easier way to live that can also bring me joy and fulfillment.
In life we need to give up certain things to achieve a goal, but we should not think that happiness only comes when we achieve our goals. The secret of life is to be happy on the journey and not at the end of it.
I really appreciate your honesty. As a native New Yorker I’ve always been bothered by the candy-coated, fairy tale myth of NYC that soooo many young people have. And shows like Sex and the City and Friends certainly haven’t helped paint any realistic pictures of New York. But I’ve never romanticized living here because I’ve experienced the real New York. And while I’m a New Yorker wherever I go and will have the city in my soul till I draw my last breathe, I’m also honest about the realities of life in New York. As do most other residents, native and transplant alike. And it can absolutely be soul sucking to live here. You find yourself often asking, “why am I still here?” And then something will happen to remind you. A perfect fall day. An afternoon stroll into a random street fair. A solo visit to your favorite museum. A delightfully unexpected string quartet playing beautiful classical music on the corner of 158th and St. Nicholas to a rapt audience of children and families. New York gets into your blood and it stays there, whether you love it or hate it. And real New Yorkers love and hate it in equal measure. Because to appreciate New York for all its beauty is to honestly recognize it for all its ugly. Thank you for your honest appreciation. I’ve happily subscribed because I fully support your journey of an authentic New York life. I look forward to seeing more of your real. Cheers from NYC.
“Because to appreciate New York for all it’s beauty is to honestly recognize it for all its ugly” wow, yes! Thanks for sharing 💝
Echoing this^!
A massive concrete jungle that smells like a restaurant dumpster. I'm glad I live on my 20 acres and wake up to see deer wandering in my backyard and have a view of the river below. I'll take "boring" nature over being surrounded by constant noise, lights, pollution, and 10 million people.
@@safeandeffectivelol oh wait, what’s that? The sound of no one giving a f*ck? And it’s 8 million people. If you’re going to be an a**hole at least be an accurate one.
sex and the city is one of the worst tv shows of all time, considering the effect it had on impressionable people (especially girls)
When you said “I don’t want to be ambitious anymore” I almost cried. I feel the exact same way. I’m still relatively new to the city and young (still a recent graduate) but I’m already feeling fed up with ambition and the endless striving. I feel like, so often, I was working and working for goals that I didn’t even care too much about achieving. I’ve decided that this season for me is more about cultivating my interests and passions and enjoying life in NYC. Cultivation, not striving. I won’t launch into an “ambitious” mode again until I’m 100% sure that I want it. It’s too easy to sell your heart and soul to your job and the hustle here but I just… I refuse. I will play the game as much as I need to but no more than that
“Cultivation, not striving” 🎯🎯🎯beautifully said!
Interesting. This must be how I’m feeling as well, even though I live in Chicago I am an artist and designer so I always feel this pressure to be insanely ambitious
Read Ecclesiastes 2:4-11 It talks about it all. I still love seeing her do what I've always wanted. Love this UA-camr and channel. 💜
Success doesn’t come easy. It takes years of busting your butt everyday working towards your dreams and goals. Unless you were born with a silver spoon then everyone who is truly successful worked long and hard. Being an influencer is the easy way out of true work. You can make videos of absolutely nothing these days and make a fortune if you know how.
Micah you look exactly like then youtuber! Don’t feel bad. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. You just need to focus yourself and push until you get your big break. It’s any industry. Promoting yourself until Luck mixed with preparation = success.
Moved to NYC in 2002 and stayed till 2006. Felt the same way...and all I can say is it wasnt easy....waking up at 5am...living in a basement in Queens...short money....but for those almost 4 years it did worth it! my dreams and expectations were gigantic....living in a city full of opportunities I couldnt reach out..... frustrations was a matter of time. I am glad I read something on a car bump' sticker that made me move back to my native country Brazil, and stay with my family and beloved ones. What did I read? "best things in life aren't things".....
I love this, thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing
Thanks too
Wow.🫶
It takes guts to expose yourself like that, be so vulnerable and admit so much, especially publically. Many people wouldn't admit all of those things even in therapy. Not even to themselves.
Ture!
You are pure, honest, unpretentious…so real. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to sit here and watch someone so authentic and vulnerable on a medium that is full of phoniness & bravado. I find you utterly charming and relatable. I’m in my late 50’s and have just fully embraced my lack of ambition and desire for only peace and simplicity. Consider yourself fortunate to have arrived there at 30. It’s a good place to land. Thank you for sharing your lovely self with us.
This means so much. Thank you ♥️♥️♥️
@@ChelseaCallahan I subscribed for this reason alone. What an honest and normal person, willing to admit what others won’t on the internet: living a simple life isn’t bad
I moved away from the east coast three years ago to a city in the southwest and it has been one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I lived in Washington D.C. and frequently traveled back in forth between DC and NYC. I didn't realize how truly miserable I was and how miserable and exhausted the people around me were until I moved away. Life is so much more affordable where I live now, it's easier to make friends and I'm actually flourishing in my career because I ironically feel less drained by the lack of pressure to be ambitious.
Good for you.
Very honest video. As a native NYer, I was desperate to leave, tired with the low quality of life, unaffordable housing, and just general difficulty of establishing a secure living. So I left, and now I've come back. It's hard all over this country. And especially as a Black person where you feel unwanted in so many communities and it's a fight to ignore those attitudes. I've returned to NYC, found a neighborhood I love near an enormous park, and am now fighting to find an affordable and rent-stabilized apartment so I can finally put down roots somewhere I feel wanted - because NYC really does welcome all.
I feel the same way. I'm 25, always wanted to be a filmmaker, but the effort it takes, the way it drains you to do all those things just to get a miniscule chance of succeeding...sometimes I feel like it is not even worth it. Growing up I was this type of guy who dreamed about achieving my dreams, leaving a dent in the world, scared of being forgotten when I'm gone...but the older I am the more I feel like being an average human being with just enough to have a happy and comfortable life is what I actually want. Is it depressing looking back at my dreams? yeah...but as time goes by you learn to appreciate what you have instead of what you could have. Btw, I really love your honesty. It makes me feel like we're friends :D
So so well said!!
splendid post. loved it.
I’m quite a bit younger than you, but from my perspective I still see 25 as pretty young. It may be a little too early to call it quits, but then again I’m not exactly in the same position as you are (although it does sound like you’re more burned out than anything; in which case it may not be the wisest idea to then take a sort of fatalistic perspective on life while in this state?)
@@MariaSantos-uo3pb from a 39yr old, i felt so old at 25, but it is SO SO young. 5 years ago you were a teenager! the same thing seems to keep happening the older i get, so ultimately i think age is irrelevant, just do your thing :)
It's the same in Los Angeles
“The reason you move here isn’t the reason you stay”. I’ve never lived in NYC but I’ve lived abroad and man this was better than I could’ve worded it! Moving to a new city or new country is one of the biggest and most rewarding challenges in my opinion!
I lived in NYC for 30 years and I was ambitious and full of energy. I achieve what I wanted and decided my second half of my life I will change to a different pace and like you be average. Before leaving I did the New York City marathon. Hurt my foot at mile 10 but determined to finish the race which I did. It showed that I can do anything as a reminder before I left. Now I live in Oregon with a chill lifestyle. I give thanks for NY with the diverse cultures and energy and feel satisfied I did what I wanted and now I am embarking on a new adventure
Wow such a cool story!! So awesome you did the marathon too and finished it. Oregon is the best. Thanks for sharing!
@@ChelseaCallahan wish you luck and always remember there is millions like you there so never feel alone
"I found out that I didn't have the drive to do anything that wasn't outwardly expected of me so therefore I did nothing and I sank, I totally sank." This hit home hard. I keep holding onto this idea that I can become better than I am but maybe it's time I accepted who I am... Really appreciate this video. Just found your channel the other day and I've been binge watching it.
We all can become better but it’s way easier without all the pressure ❤️ thanks for watching
This feels so familiar. I am so depressed and tired. So so tired. I was the wonder kid in my 20s. study a new language. Move to a new country, study there, build a life, be a shining light to those behind me and honestly I don’t care anymore. I want to do the bare minimum of what is expected of me and wait till I get to leave this place. I totally relate to this video
One of the most honest, gut wrenching takes about what it takes to live in NYC and why so many of us continue to do so, when it's obvious that there are much more saner ways to live. I lived in NYC for 28 years. I got to live my dreams. Not many people get to say that. I succeeded. But along the way I also changed into the type of person I no longer recongnized and admonished myself for: extremely aloof, indifferent, devoid of emotion, callous, and lacking my own humanity. Anyone who has lived a lifetime in NYC understands these feelings I just described. It's a coping mechanism. But I grew up along sunny shores, morning swims in the surf, a laconic disposition, a loving Greek family who have always been there for me and serenity. The coronavirus cut me off from the Northern Hemisphere and forced me to stay in Australia for a year and a half. And during that time I found my peace, my humanity and humility. It is sad, cause I lost a big love because of my attitude in NYC. One day she might forgive me. And now I am living in Europe again, where i first moved to in my early 20's. And still living the dream of a successful writer. But there's more I want to achieve here. But living in NYC trained me how to make it and equipped me with a skillset and mindset - no other city will give you. But sometimes if you bite too much of the Big Apple it can haunt you...
i'm going to think about this comment for a while, thank you for sharing. i just moved here 3 weeks ago for a summer internship and i'm already feeling like a different person in terms of my mindset and finding myself being more withdrawn and devoid of emotion as i'm moving along my commute. i'm from california so i'm used to a more warm social laidback energy and i'm definitely going to make it a point to keep myself balanced.
Your writing has moved me deeply, almost to the point where I feel this immense need to write and express. Thank you
I moved to nyc after getting my theater degree as well. Lived there for three years, hated the life, so then I moved to Hawaii. I’m now a marine biologist that studies coral reefs in the pacific. Couldn’t be happier. I tell people that you’re always allowed to change your mind. Your first dream doesn’t have to be your only dream.
Your dreams are worth fighting for.
I’m familiar with being drained and exhausted in a large city, but if it’s your calling, it’s impossible to walk away from it.
@@DialloMoore503 It’s always possible to rethink your dreams. Nothing is set in stone.
Your "deepest, most average self" line really got to me. It's easy to feel like we can't let ourselves be average when we see success stories of the very few who happen to make it big. But living an "average" life can be extraordinary and fulfilling in its own ways. I think it comes down to how we choose to interact with and enjoy life. We shouldn't have others tell us what is a good or successful life, we ought to measure that for ourselves from our own frame of mind. Hope you're doing well, you have many friends in the same boat, take care!
As a New Yorker, I approve of this message! Lately I'm feeling very drained out. A lot of people here are toxic! You have to have some kind of faith and still that's not always easy to keep your sanity.
Thank you
I'm so grateful for the message you're bringing here. I'm French and have experienced Paris instead of New York but what I relate too most here is the overbearing weight of the hustle culture that so many of us carry around long before we're able to stop and wonder what it is we really want from life. It's crazy to me to realize we've all been sold the idea that if we're not "successful" (in terms of how success is defined by our society), if we don't leave a trace on this planet, then we're somehow failed at life or are losers. I'm 32 and have spent most of my life working so hard towards my ambitions and dreams (I wanted to be a conference interpreter and work for international institutions) only to watch them crumble one after the other because life happened in the middle and, among other things, my body and my mental health forced me to stop all that sh*t and take care of myself, my real self.
I'm only realizing now that all these years I was on autopilot mode, plain pure robot mode, never stopping for a minute to enjoy what was actually and already there, chasing after something I thought would finally make me worthy and happy. It's insane. Like you now I just want to be the most average person you can find, live in a place close to nature, have a decent job that leaves me with enough time and money to spend on my hobbies, discover my creativity and myself, and enjoy the little moments of happiness daily life can bring you.
I'm currently reading the book "The way of Integrity" by Marhta Beck and it's such a timely god-sent gift because it's all about how we're conditioned to follow culture over our true nature, and it feels like a critical piece of puzzle to get me out of the thick fog I've been in all these years, on top of being f*ing liberating. I recommend it to anyone who's in this stage of their life, and I feel so much happiness to know that so many of us are finally waking up from the illusion and are ready to start their life in better harmony with themselves, how exciting!!
I just turned 30 and also very average. All that glamorous ambitious cells had died and I’m so happy to realize that being average is great too. I’m so glad that I found your channel and thank you for sharing ❤
Don’t let this person add to the voice in your head. 30 is YOUNG. Go for it. F*ck that.
So unique. No self-entitlement, no casting blame, and acceptance after a relization. Cheers for putting it out there.
I grew in up in New York. Lived in Greenwich Village until I was 34; now I'm 65. I can say what I loved about it here is no longer here. And the types of people who can thrive here now have to have a totally different mind-set than years ago. "Money" means SO much more here than it ever did. It was great being young and not having to be driven to attain a massive salary just to have "some" mobility in this town.
OMG! You are so right. I just moved here, and I am an empty nester. As a kid, I stayed in the Double Tree in TS and was enamored by the culture. I always wanted to return. My sons graduated, and I high-tailed it to NYC to live my dream: The Cosby Show, Friends, Seinfeld, Living Single, etc. A guy told me when I came, "Don't get lost." It is easy to do if you keep down paths that are no longer the way.
This place has shown me who I really am and what I really want. In six months, I am a completely different person. I quit being a permanent teacher and opted for being a sub who controls my time. I quit my Ph.D. studies. I don't have the fight in me anymore. I just want to live. Ironically, I am at peace. Thank you so much! This place is mythical, but not the way we believe.
Poignant thing to say.
I feel the same way about so many things.
"I don't have the fight anymore."
I had an extremely similar experience living in nyc for 7 years. at the end, I realized the things I truly valued (privacy, nature, space, fresh air, quiet) were VERY different things than I thought I wanted at the beginning of my stay. like you said at the end, there's peace in knowing that there's no "what if" - you had a dream and you went for it. now, it's time for a new dream :)
This is so, very relatable. I grew up in New York, lived all my life in New York except for college, and moved to Chicago almost six years ago. New York City is a special, one-of-a-kind, place, but it's much easier for me to appreciate it when I'm just there for a few days, and have a return ticket in my pocket.
Same. I was born in Brooklyn and always dreamt of living in NYC. Once I graduated college and realized how hard life could be in North Carolina, I realized there was no way I could survive giving 1.5 of 2 paychecks every month to rent. If I lived in NYC instead of just visiting the city I love so much would've lost its allure.
This made me cry. With happiness - with some sadness, too. I moved to NYC and it absolutely killed me. Every day you have to go out and see what you’re made of. And when you want a “good job! You’re working the absolute hardest you’ve ever worked in your life and you’re doing it well!” Yeah right! NYC will be there to smack you in the face and remind you that it was just another day in the epicenter of the world and tomorrow you have to start *alllll over again.* Cheers to you for the honesty - I needed it. I don’t feel so alone. ❤
Looking back myself, every goal I had in the past seemed without alternative and dramatically final. It turns out there is a fullfilling life to be had after getting mugged and kicked out of Dreamland. I takes a while to find your balance again. But there is something undeniably healing about stringing together months if not years of stability and calmness in your life afterwards. It gives us the opportunity to step back and take a deep breath. And when the time comes, we'll find new goals to pursuit. Maybe a little less grandeur but no less meaningful. Besides, being self-aware, generous and kind to fellow humans in this day and age is pretty extraodinary to me. The rest is just an occupation. This video was pretty cool and insightful. Thanks for sharing Chelsea.
Love hearing your experience & thoughts!! Very well said. Have a great week Henry
Had a very similar experience doing a few years in San Francisco working in tech. After a few years you realize you live in an amazing city that you’ve barely scratched the surface of because you’re burning yourself out in the rat race. Congrats on your realization…seems like a more fulfilling life is just around the corner :)
I had the same experience living in Chicago. I ended up leaving the city and moving home. But the experience makes you stronger and more true/honest with yourself. Just realize life has many journeys and destinations and just because your life doesn’t look like how you thought it would now doesn’t mean you can’t have a life that is what you need 💕
I mean honestly Chicago is cheaper than NYC but I feel that
sometimes its just being in the right place at the right time . that's luck . and also when obsession meets opportunity . talent doesn't always play. a part yet its a positive
Musicians know this.😉
Refreshing as always :) on my last visit to NYC, I went to Russ and Daughters (bagel shop) on my last day of the trip. I had a backpack with all my things. A woman in front of the store asked me (in a friendly way) why I was carrying such a large backpack. I told her that I was traveling and it was my last day. She asked me what I thought of NYC and I told her "Overall, I really enjoyed my time here but it's like living life on hard mode." I then asked her what she thought of the city. Turns out, she's one of the daughters of Russ and Daughters and is a 4th generation New Yorker. Ooooooops, I just slandered her hometown. She was nice though and was not upset with my response haha
Hahaha oh noooo 🤣 That’s such a good story though
Don't you think that would give her a certain amount of pride though? Also, she had her life planned out with a "job" already set up for her. That could be a blessing or a curse.
Most New Yorkers would agree with you.
Great video. Been in LA for about 9 years along with 1.5 years in NY living “the imagined life” … if you are in any way an introvert, which it seems like you are, it can be extremely difficult to have that cutthroat instinct to always be on and consistently take advantage of opportunities, and for what end goal? To lose one’s privacy walking down the street? It’s more important to nurture various aspects of your specialness rather than deduce to “I didn’t want to work hard enough”. My experience working on sets is that there are many insecure people who are actors and writers / below the line workers. They are always on their ego-driven agenda. Ultimately, it is no way to achieve meaningful happiness. It’s refreshing to hear you able to step back and take stock of it all outside of a limiting, outcome-based matrix. In my opinion, that is the seed of true success.
Streets are for the public. You don't need privacy there and aren't entitled to it.
I live on the other side of the world, but I can still relate. Three cheers to you for realising something that takes many other people a lot longer to understand. You don't have to be what others expect you to be. You don't have to be the achiever. Living a good life doing what you want, they way you want, in a way that gives you contentment is everything. Loving your videos.
As a 20 something in the early/mid 2000's, I would have given anything to live in NYC. We traveled there often and I loved everything about it. But, it never happened. I now know more about myself and realize I would have ultimately been unhappy there. It's great you got to experience it first hand though. Life changes so much as you get older and your likes and dislikes can change too. Now that I'm 40, I'm much more interested in living somewhere tropical and being surrounded by nature. We'll see if I ever make that happen, haha
Don't beat yourself up about losing ambition and seeking a toned down simple life. I'm 58 y/o and can honestly say my regrets are all the things I hadn't done in life. You moved to NEW YORK CITY and made a life for yourself there, that alone is an amazing accomplishment 👏 ❤!
Yeah, no retakes. You tend to do what is most important for you. Always love yourself and don't get too stressed -- enjoy life.
I'm loving your honesty, and it speaks to me as well. I've lived in this city all my life, and as an adult found myself having to push aside my creative and artistic endeavors (writing, photography) and focus more on a corporate job for practical reasons. I live alone and have no family support, so for me the sheer fear of failing here and not being able to provide for myself meant that I was more focused on my day job -- and simply too exhausted afterwards to also focus on art. I do still try to this day, but it is getting much harder to stay afloat as this city only gets more costly, more gentrified, and more touristy! I used to be optimistic before the YOU KNOW WHAT struck. But since then, I feel this strange malaise about living here. An apathy that's so against my true nature. I need to get out more, go for more walks in the many amazing and beautiful parks this city offers. Now that it's Spring again and the weather turning nice... perhaps I'll do just that! Thanks again for being vulnerable and sharing your amazing journey.
Hey! Just discovered your channel. I think what you're saying is actually true for most big cities. For instance, I'm living in Paris, and your words definitely resonate. What saved me (still does) is finding projects that are important to me but are still attainable in my present state (like passing your driver's license, reading this specific book, painting a stool to decorate your apartment). With time and progress, I believe you'll be able to really get to a life that you fully enjoy and that you can be proud of, so much so that you'll say you've achieved your dreams, even though they might not be the ones you originally projected 😊 sending love from France 🌞
I absolutely love this, the authenticity and honesty is super refreshing. And I can honestly say as someone planning to move here in the spring, I have zero idea what to expect, but I'm excited for the growth and the aspect of diving into the unknown. What I keep telling people is, "It's just something that I feel like I have to do. I have to try it. I'm either gonna love it, or I'm gonna hate it. But either way will teach me something I didn't know." 😌
I live 1000s miles away and I love this video. This maybe is the future of content creation. Being your authentic self and being honest with yourself. If this was another lifestyle blog I would of just skipped it but you just expressed something wonderful and true. I will be following along as I think you have made it, but your way and it's a powerful message to share.
Omg, I LOVE HOW HONEST YOU ARE!!!!!! This is SOOOOOO refreshing! Thank you so much for making this!!! Finally I was able to watch a video that didn't feel like a commercial for some fucking lifestyle that's unachievable for many but touted as "super easy". I'm not a city person at all, but I also am tired of all this pressure to be ambitious. I feel like that's more pervasive in our society now than ever. It's exhausting and frankly just not for everyone. Thank you for acknowledging this!
❤️
You are so far ahead of the game! To understand yourself this well while still young is HUGE. Your clear-eyed assessment of who you really are is so valuable & will serve you well.
I love how honest you are! You're my favorite new york vlogger
🥹thanks Rachel!!
2:17 "Living here has actually pushed me to my absolute limits, so now on a positive note, I can recognize my potential." I couldn't have summarized it better: until a situation or a place like NY has shown you where your limit is, you'll spend your life wondering if you're living up to what life could be. Once I 'hit the wall' living in NY, it actually eventually helped cultivate more of a genuine sense of inner peace.
I’m at 6 years here too and couldn’t more strongly connect with this. I love life in this beautiful frenetic city but career-wise, I’ve continued along the trajectory that I was on before I came here. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story.
I'm so glad I stumbled across your account. I live in Melbourne, Australia, so I can't say that I'm experiencing NYC right now, (although I will say my last overseas trip there was lifechanging for all of the reasons you spoke about, good and bad) but so much of what you said hit home for me. I work for myself as a photographer, and I've been at this constant "hustle" for two years now, and honestly, I'm just so ready to just live in a more average manner. The creative industry here is very sink or swim as well, and it's genuinely exhausting to keep pushing and pushing endlessly. I'm so excited to follow your journey, because more people need to share the realities of life, without the embellishments.
Your channel is so refreshing. Living in this crazy town, I feel like I’m supposed to be living it up even though it’s not my reality. I’m perfectly fine with my somewhat monotonous life here.
You have a very authentic and real voice, and its realness stands in stark contrast to the cacophony of voices on UA-cam that have "everything figured out" and tell you as much. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to hear someone say "I missed the mark and its ok".
She wanted to be a starving artist so she could have something to complain about? So she didn’t have something to complain about before that? This is no New Yorker and not an “Everyman.” Many of us grew up not having to “find” something to complain about, nor did we think we’d become Carrie Bradshaw. This is the voice of a coddled human.
This was beautifully told and painfully relatable. I moved to SF on a whim a few years ago. Needless to say, I didn't quite break into big technology how I planned to. I did however make a few lifelong connections and memories I wouldn't trade for the world. Somewhere along the way I think I learned my lesson. Happiness isn't living out this wild fantasy in your head. It's not even about making calculated plans to achieve attainable goals. Corny as it is, I think it's the experience along the way. There is something to be said for all of the unforeseen ups and downs that come with chasing down our ambitions. Despite having failed over and over to realize a myriad of "best laid plans" I had, I think I somehow wound up exactly where I needed to be without knowing where that even was at the time. Maybe I had difficulty grappling with the subverted expectations that were my 30s, but I am still holding out hope that I'm on track to lead a life I like. I Hope you and everyone else reading this feel the same.
One helpful thing about living here long-term is you develop a work ethos that, if you go to most other places, will more quickly place you on top of your field
i love how honest and raw you are. ugh thank you
Thanks for the honesty. I think people forget that NYC has always been rough for most people and there are very few spots on top- not to sound defeatist but the connections you make and the randomness of the universe do play a role. You can work very hard and not get anywhere in life, so it’s just a good idea to always measure the worth of our dreams while we try to catch them. Always try tho!
Wow. THANK YOU for saying this. I grew up in the suburbs of NYC, like, always in its shadow. There was always this expectation that success meant moving to New York and ~following your dreams!~ (I think this was engrained in me as a Jersey kid with the big city looming so close but then also reinforced by TV shows/movies/etc.) I’ve been feeling more and more like I never truly, actually wanted that dream (really, acting specifically, not even fame, just acting in general) because the work required to get there, to actually do it, I kind of hated and went against a lot of aspects of who I am and what I believed in. I’m not shutting that door forever, but as I’ve gotten older (I’m almost 29) I’ve realized that all I’ve really wanted this whole time is just to be happy in my day-to-day. To have work that I am good at and that I find joy and meaning in and challenges me (I do have that, thankfully). I’ve seriously been thinking lately that the meaning of life is that peace and joy you experience from all of the smallest things- hearing your mom’s voice on the phone, getting a hug from your friends, that first bite of a good meal. Maybe that sounds corny, but for me, I really think that’s it. And I’m content with that. That’s what I truly want, and I think that’s okay. (Sidenote I left home and am now living in a smaller city in the Northeast and it’s great. NYC will always be special to me but I think the joy in the small things can be found in other places, too.) thank you for reading, everyone. This was cathartic. Lol
Wow I could never live in a place like NY, sounds terribly stressful. I’m more of a country bumpkin and I need to hear bird’s singing outside my window in the morning 🦢
For anyone watching to feel validation, I've been in NY since 2010 right out of college. Everyone has a path to come across the mindset she explains, understanding what your personal limits are - including what you're happy with. This is why people say when you're young, you can take it, but just remember that it's the era of testing your limits and that you're choosing this. For some, that testing ends short, others it takes longer, and it all depends on a combination of luck, patience with yourself, and fortitude. I'm 36 now and I'm just feeling like I hit my stride here after 13 years of wandering around New York City. My advice is to do things with intent so that you know why you are doing it and when the feedback comes, really take it in with the purpose of understanding yourself better so can move onto the next why to see if that fits. Don't give up, because there really isn't anything to give up on. You're in one of the most amazing cities in the world and it's just like they say in marathon training, the hardest part is getting to the starting line so be proud of all and any work you've put into it because this is for you and not for anyone else as much as everyone else wants it to be (for them).
I went to New York once. I saw a smelly city of garbage, extremely high rent, and aging infrastructure. Seems like everyone living there for a job or a chance at a job that makes less 200k a year is under some kind of mind control spell from watching too much TV and media. Or maybe they are just extremely naive. The building are cool to look at, but you don't need to live there to see those.
@@AmericanDiscord You forgot the rats and rude and entitled people.
I really liked the honesty in your message. I’ve been here almost 11 yrs and moved here or be an artist. I got off that train after 6 years. Now I’m here trying to make the (serial) entrepreneurial thing happen. Funny thing is when I was acting I had many more friends cuz you met so many people along that journey. Now that I’m trying to launch a startup, it’s so isolating and lonely, which really sucks. I have to work super hard to start focused and not get too down while I’m trying to find my place here and make my endeavors come to fruition. Thanks for posting. We’re all gonna be just fine whether we stay in NYC or not!
Really loving your content! Never been to NYC but I confess I’m a sucker for the dream 😉
I believe that you showcase the process of creating stability through self care and self reliance… lessons which are absolutely foundational to be an adult!
Is it possible that this industrial concrete environment contributes to the difficulties of life there?
I lived in Berlin for 4 years (the New York of Europe lol 😋) and even though it’s considered a “green” city, the fact that you have to walk / travel the subway to get to peaceful nature was very difficult for me.
And then - once you get to the park - you will have to contend with doggy doo, cigarette butts, and people who hang out there who might not be stable or respect your personal space. 😑
Not relaxing !…
I’ve since realised that living in heavily urban environments is not a long-term option for me because I struggle to maintain health and wellbeing.
I thrive living in a ground-floor dwelling where I can step onto a piece of earth every morning. I don’t have that yet (currently in a tiny studio apartment in the south of Spain) but it’s my goal to have my own little patch of Earth to tend to, which can make town or city life far more manageable.
Thanks for sharing your days and your wisdom - keep up the great work and don’t give up on your dreams! 💗✨☀️💫
You said it perfectly how it feels! The mental health and well-being is definitely the hardest to maintain. I have no doubt you’ll have your dream of your own land soon enough 🏡☀️💓 thanks for watching!
As a person who grew up in NYC. It's always interesting seeing the perspective of someone who moves here from somewhere else. Growing up in Harlem & The South Bronx, I've always had an expectation of disappointment. So when it happens I just brush it off & keep moving forward. My family expected the most out of me, because I was "The smartest person in the family". I had an associates degree from community college a month before I graduated high school at 16. I graduated from Columbia University with a B.S. in Mathematics at 18. Then I decided I was done with school. Then I pursued a career in the music industry. Worked as an engineer on an album that earned me a platinum plaque & a Grammy. Then watched "The Devil Wears Prada" & decided that I wanted to work for Vogue. Ended up with a job managing the budget of all of Conde Nast's magazines. Then took advantage of the company's tuition reimbursement program. Got a B.S. in Computer Science. Now I work as a data analyst for a large tech company. Which is probably one of the most boring jobs ever. It's easy, pays 6 figures, & I live within a 15 walk from my the office building. Now that I'm in my late 30s I'm content having a mundane life.
What does your mundane life have to do with your job?
What about other aspects of your life: Hobbies, Social Clubs, Sports, Friends, Passions?
What I admire the most about this comment is that you switched/transitioned gears ⚙️. I’m currently in my first transition and it’s taking some time but you inspire me to believe it’s possible and it’ll be OK! Thank you.
Wow you’ve lived an interesting life!
That's a mundane life? Eh? So you were basically successful at everything you did. Good for you. I guess your experience is exactly the opposite of people like this Chelsea UA-camr.
Just discovered your channel. It is amazing how honest and down to earth you are. Since childhood I have been dreaming of living in NYC and that hasn't changed for the past 15 years, so I am planning to apply to local universities and hopefully will get to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly, and honestly I can't wait. Watching your channel now is like a small glimpse of what I can expect when I get there. Thank you!
So excited for you!! 💓
Hey! Just want to say nothing is worth getting into student loan debt! Please be careful! I wish I went to school in Europe 😅
Thank you for being so down to earth. I really respect this outlook, and it's so refreshing to see in an online world where so many influencers relentlessly strive to be exceptional/aesthetic/live their best life etc. I find it all a bit exhausting nowadays.
I don’t live in a city, but I spent my twenties in south Florida and was ambitious for a solid decade. I’m in my thirties now and I’m thankful to have left the ambitious energy behind me- I am still pursuing goals and dreams and stretching in different ways. But there is so much more to life than ambition. I learned that relationships have and always will mean more to may than even my ideal dream job. So I am thankful to now be surrounded by more people that I deeply love and to cherish my time with them above anything else.
Did you leave South Florida?
As a girl who grew up in Broward County, South Florida is a hard place to make a life for yourself. Incredibly expensive.
@@justynjonn yes, i moved to the northeast back to my hometown!
I moved to NYC after college to pursue my Broadway Dream. I ended up achieving beyond my wildest expectations. BUT: To make it in NYC, You have to want your dream more than anything else in the world. You have to be willing to do almost anything to attain it. And if you have a “fall back” you will fall back. It’s not for everyone. I watched as many people came and went home. NYC ain’t for everyone.
More power to you! And don’t sell yourself short. The realisation you had that you essentially just want to be yourself - that’s it. Doesn’t make you not ambitious or anything else of that sort. It makes you authentic - and that is far more important in my view.
I moved to New York from Europe at age 18, first as au pair to learn English properly and then ended up staying, going to university, then came the first job then the second and before I knew it 14 yrs were up - but I turned into an adult in New York City (and New Jersey initially). I was in my late 20s when sex and the city was hugely popular and I remember Charlotte Yorke’s apartment thinking ‘how can she afford this’ while I hung out in my comfy yet v small studio apartment on 80th between 2nd / 3rd - but I abs love New York and while I live in London England now, NY will always be my second home.
As to you - keep doing what you are doing, enjoy yourself and live your most authentic life. You do that every single day and who knows what’ll happen! Take care of yourself
this is the first time am coming across your vlog, it was a very refreshing level of honesty and courage with no ulterior motive , it had no biased narrative, other than you sharing how you have reached the point of plainly being honest with yourself. its beautiful and i loved it. I have a similar city in europe with the "magical" pull, used to live there for a while and now every now and then have the longing to return which realistically may not be an option. i had visited NYC once few years ago and i honestly felt the same "magic" in the air but in a much bigger and majestic scale. I have since been into the charm of NYC for a few years now and all the daily vlogs , shows and movies with NYC as landscape and cultural backdrop have been very enticing. "Pretend its a city" on netflix is a nice one to sum it up. But the reality is as you rightfully highlighted here , any such city can and will be brutal and unforgiving and can get ugly, but just like when you are in love, when you get things right, when you figure it out , nothing else could compare against the glorious wholesome feeling of getting into your own groove of things and carving out your own niche in life with that person , in this case , in that city. But you have to be honest , humble and find yourself first. We are social creatures and our development in life needs inputs and inspiration from the surroundings , but its a fine line between being inspired and being trapped in an idea. Getting lost is essential in fining yourself but you have managed to get yourself out of the "collective painting of others" with a ton of insight and a blank canvas. Whats your painting gona be like now ? Glad to subscribe and see you "truly being your deepest most average self you can be" :D, lol ... maybe you meant it with a hint of self-deprecation but i feel that is gona be your secret sauce in youtube and in life. thanks for sharing and best of luck, kick ass !
Marathon footage always makes me cry. I know every inch of that course. The first time I went to support a friend I KNEW I HAD TO DO IT MYSELF. And I did it the next year. Ive done it 10x.
I know youre running this year. I had to defer bc of any injury. Your channel is motivating me 🗽🥰
I never truly believed NYC was like depicted in SatC, Friends, and similar shows for most people, just those from wealthy families or high salaried jobs may have that experience. I did assume it'd be easier making friends and feeling a part of something. I have lived in cool areas for awhile but everyone is just shut off, cold, and mean. You have to meet people through other people but there are big gaps in social and wealth status that are hard to bridge. Similarly, I was hoping it'd be easier to excel in terms of work but there are just too many talented and overly ambitious people to compete with. I have been eager to move for awhile, ideally to a city in Europe but a few other cities in the US seem more livable to me in terms of quality of life, daily stress, cost of living, and climate. If I had a family, a lot more of the US would seem like reasonable options.
What other cities have you been looking at?
Whether you're sleeping on a park bench in Park Slope, Brooklyn or living in a Midtown Manhattan condo, life is what you make it in NYC... design and tailor your life around your nature or who you want to be. Life is like performance art and no city teaches you that like New York City.
Thanks for sharing these! I've been watching for a year now since I moved to NYC and I feel almost the same way as you. It's like, NYC crushed my expectations but the path that is open to me now, it's what I needed without knowing it before.
Besides that, every experience is a learning process of what you DON'T want in your life.
So yeah.. I agree with you!
Kisses from a Brazilian subscriber
This might be the most relatable vlog ever! I love you Chelsea. You talking about how you're feeling just makes me feel seen. Thank you 💖
Thank you Chelsea for the honest assessment and for being so authentic 😊
🥰
I deeply admire this honesty. I cannot relate directly, as my problem with NYC is the opposite, but I think we reach the same conclusion.
I moved to NYC five years ago, and have had amazing success. I work in a job I love, and I live on the top floor of a “luxury” high rise downtown. Basically, everything I wanted when I moved here worked out to me. However - my view of NYC has never been less positive. I’ve come to view NYC as small and less than consequential. There are absolutely amazing people doing amazing things, but the level of importance NYC places on itself is highly exaggerated, and has been waining since the NYC 1970s fiscal crisis.
During the pandemic, I read the 1950s novel The Man in the Flannel Gray Suit. The core theme of the novel is the conformity of NYC - everyone in that time was just another person in a gray suit, doing things other people in gray suits were doing. And while I rarely see anyone wearing suits by choice post-pandemic, the image informed my exact experience. I came to the largest US city expecting diversity of thought, but 90% of those I meet rehash the same ideas and live the same lives. How many times have I been invited to brunch or drinks in NYC? Hundreds. But, conversely, how many times have I had a genuine life defining moment or experience in NYC? Genuinely, once or twice.
I’m deeply bored here. Not for lack of entertainment - there’s significant things to do an see - but I’m bored by the people.
Would I move here again? Probably. Will I move to another city? Probably. Cities have always had a half-life of around 3 years (I’ve lived in major cities on both coasts and the Midwest), and I’ve been in NYC the longest, which says something. But ultimately, NYC is just another city. It’s not a life altering other world. And I think that is a shock to most people, like it was to me.
You sound like a typical smug New Yorker lmao
Yeah since the internet and social media you don’t really need to be in nyc to be a stock broker or a musician or an actor or an artist or anything. Back in the 80s you kind of did need to be here to do those things. And with the cost of living rising dramatically still even though there’s less real need to live here it makes less and less sense to do so.
You hanging around the same circles that's why . I bet you ain't got no friends from the bx or Queens who ain't in your socioeconomic bracket . I bet you ain't got no Dominican friends from Dyckman or Bolivian friends from Corona , Queens . It's your fault that your friends are the same
This problem exists in every place. 10% or less of the population are interesting, the rest are parrots repeating what they heard other people say.
@@janneroppola_photographer I 100% agree with you! I’ve lived in the major cities on both coasts and the Midwest, and you are correct. I think my assessment, however, has more to do with the concept that NYC labels itself as an enclave of diversity of thought, where my experience was mostly the opposite. I was commenting less on the human condition, and more so the false perception NYC writes about itself, and other parrot by default.
Thank you for this. This was real and honest and relatable and I appreciate hearing a person on UA-cam say this .
You speak to my soul..honestly. I had a thousand dreams and thoughts about my future but now I am in my late thirties and all I have is an office job. The things I thought I would do..or achieve still linger in my mind..taunting me every day as if to say " you're a loser...look what other peoples have achieved in your age...you're too lazy...you're not talented enough....and so on...and it just drags me down every day because even on good days...they keep poppin up..And it is just so refreshing to hear someone say "I don't want to be ambitous anymore..."....because this..this is what I would like to be able to say...to let it go and be content....I AM having a good life..I can support myself...buy the food that I like...do the things I like in my meager free time...No I am not a famous artist/writer....But I am also no loser...I think it is time to call out the media that has peoples believe that they are all losers when really, it should be celebrated when you're able to support yourself these days...Love you for this. It helps so much! Please keep on being yourself...
You can still do it.
Chelsea! I wonder how this video lands now that your channel seems to be gaining so much traction (success on the internet is still success, right?). Your radical acceptance of your own little slice of NYC life seems to have made you exceptionally relatable. Excited to be riding the highs and lows with you!
Hey! Life has a funny way of working things out, I'm learning :) Excited you're here riding the wave with meeee!
Not me fucking crying! I don't just relate to this but I'm living it now as a young person who grew up here. Thank you for being honest. I feel like it's so hard to have a conversation with anyone about the reality of living here, and what it does to you. I'm a tiny painter living in my beloved neighborhood and that's enough for me 💖
🥺💓
This resonates so much with me. I myself moved to London 15 years ago trying to build a career in journalism coming from a small place in Brazil. Thanks for sharing. ❤
That's a vulnerable video, I loved it. I identify with a lot of what you said even though I'm on the other coast. I also feel like my ambition is gone, and with every day that passes, I feel like that's okay. I'm at a stage in life where I don't constantly need to do better or strive for the next thing. Appreciating the moment and stepping back to enjoy what I have are more important. Life goes by way to quickly.
I feel you! I lived in Lisbon for three years (during the pandemic) and It crushed my dreams too. I got depressed and It was not the experience I expected. Being out of our comfort zone is INSANE and I wish more people talk about exactly about like this. Live in another place is challenging!
I'm new. I've watched a few videos so let me emphatically tell you youre not lazy. You're adjusting to your reality. It happens to us all. I accomplished some of my younger dreams and didn't want to do what it takes to keep them. They weren't my dreams as an adult.
Wow, I relate so much to what you said. When I was young, I had a dream and I went for that dream but I found that I did not have what it takes. I had not properly been prepared nor did I understand the ramifications of pursuing that dream. I was heartbroken and stayed in my room for two weeks when I came back to my parents home. I ended up going back to college for an entirely different career that I enjoyed and I was good at, but it was not my dream. I can look back now after decades and see that it was better that I did not get that dream because I did not have the proper personality or physical attributes to do that. So yes, contentment is a real goal and many people are fooled by watching television and social media into thinking that life is fun and easy and happy all the time and it just isn’t. I really really enjoy your videos and find some thing and everyone to relate to.
This video helped a lot. As someone who graduated high school not too long ago I’ve felt this pressure to go go go! And I’m exhausted. This video has reassured me that it’s okay to just be, and enjoy the moment🤍
Girl the editing is 🔥
Edit: I just graduated high school last week and I’m binging the sh*t outta your videos…there’s so much life advice 😩😩
omg congrats!! and thank you :) lmk if there’s anything you wanna seeeee
I rarely comment on videos, but just want to say this struck a chord with me (in NYC for 8 years). You're clearly an excellent story teller, and you never know if you keep at it in small ways that can lead to big opportunities ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That’s gotta be the most honest and wholesome confessions x
This was a very refreshing perspective! I’m currently in that hustle mode tbh but you’re reminding me that it’s okay to just chill and take it one day at a time. We don’t have to achieve everything in our 20s
"When your day job becomes your life job" this actually made me cry... like I've got tears welling up in my eyes because of how realistic this is... and yet here I am, still holding onto the ides that something will change. Despite the fact that almost all of my energy has been drained from my being. And to clarify... I don't mean living in the biggest house on the block. But I do mean living comfortably, without worry that my life is somehow going to end in tragedy if I lose my job. Because most of my income (not living in nyc) goes towards rent. That is awful.
I do want to add, you are my favorite person who vlogs in nyc... because your videos are literally the realist. Not this ideal version of what life should be... especially in a city that will drain you if you aren't a millionaire
That’s so so tough, I wish it wasn’t so hard to afford basic needs. I admire you for not giving up. Good things always come to people to try their best. Sending hugs 🤗 thanks for sharing 🧡
I've always dreamt of living in NYC but dreams are always so far from the reality. Thank you
come live here and write your own story! 💝
Wow congrats on the vulnerability and honesty. It's so funny so many people fail in their dreams but so few are open and honest enough to talk about it. I think we need both sides of the coin. Respect.
Thanks for sharing! I think you’re well on your way to realizing that most people are faking it, and even if they aren’t, their truth is not your truth. You are the only person you have to satisfy. Try new things, go with your gut, be kind to others, and enjoy life.
Why get up at 5 am? As in, what happens at five in the morning that is central to dream fulfillment? Should I be getting up before dawn and performing this mysterious task myself? Not a facetious question, btw ….
This is the most honest UA-cam video of all time. Everywhere else is gurus telling you how to live your life. Your personality really stands out.
Thank you for sharing this video. I too also had that feeling where my dream in the city becomes faded overtime and my regular 9-5 becomes a daily reality. I since left NYC back in 2012 and move to Philly but still come to the city to connect with old friends. No matter where we live weather in NYC or elsewhere, you do not have to always chase ambitions.
undergrad in ny here. been feeling this way for past couple years!!! and yes!!happiness does come from j paying attention to your needs and perhaps being "average" !!! great vid. You're speaking to so many people's hearts right now.
Holy shit. As people tend to, I thought I was alone in getting my ass kicked by the city. I moved to the city just over a year ago, looking to continue my career as a chef and believe me the ambition and self belief was THERE. To my surprise, the success came a lot quicker than what I had even been ready for, frankly even felt undeserved now that I look back at it. Restaurants are notoriously hard and stressful environments, especially fine dining, and I landed a job in which the money, the hours, and the predictability and control were on a level only a select handful few restaurants can offer and even fewer people get, especially with my age and background.
When I first moved I didn't get why everyone was so obsessed with money and cramming their schedule with a million things to do and over time, it got to me. Like a slowly progressing disease, I slowly became so hyper focused on how much money was coming in and how I only wanted more, that I lost my bearings and BURNT. MY. SELF. OUT. The worst part is it wasn't really anything overtly materialistic, no watches or fancy clothes but just the level of freedom and comfort people with more money could enjoy really fucked with me. I couldn't take any breaks, I couldn't afford to really take vacations. All of those frustrations were bubbling up so I became bitter and resentful and eventually, my performance dropped and then, I got fired. What was effectively my dream job, I lost due to the crazy stress of trying to keep up not only monetarily, but in energy and ambition and frankly I just wasn't prepared to deal with all that. I lived in an absolute perfect deal of an studio all to myself, but no other job I could get would afford me my rent. Hearing your story and hearing you say I'm done being ambitious I just resonated with so much. Now, I have the unfortunate task of deciding whether or not staying in city, which I do love, is sustainable. With a change of career (and income) in the cards, I don't know if I can quite be happy with the drop in quality of life which in NYC is just so much more stark than anywhere else. Having no friends or family here is very difficult.
Life isn't a small hat tv series. LOLOLOLLOLOl
Hi Chelsea! Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure most people relate to it. Cheer Up! Life’s good! 💯❤️
Thank you for sharing your experience in NYC with candidness & honesty. A life in NYC is always going to be somewhat fantasized for one’s whom haven’t lived it. To the ones whom have, I sincerely believe most will have no regrets choosing to venture to the city in their lifetime to strive and discover.
Finishing a race/marathon that makes you miserable and leads you nowhere is pointless hon. Also quitting is good if you are on the wrong path. I read somewhere that people who romanticize their live in New York are in a toxic relationship and need to get out of it.
I hope this doesn't sound hateful, because it's not. I like your vibe and just subscribed to your channel and I really hope you love yourself enough to do what's best for you.
Ooof I strongly disagree. But that’s ok :)
Moving to NYC in 2023 must be like moving into an insanely expensive shoe box filled with psychopathic rats.
Bless ur heart! You sound like me 20 years ago! I lived in NYC for 6 years, wanted to be a writer. Made little advance in that career but my life turned out good anyway. U are so right about so much and what you say is so positive. I lacked that drive too but it's not because I'm lazy its because I value the experience of living more than the satisfaction of a high-test career. Not saying successful writers don't, but unless you've got connections and/or wealth and/or profound luck, you have to invest every second of the day for years into any artistic field and at the end of the day, you gotta figure out what's important to you. Best of luck!!! (I was on the UES in a tiny studio but I loved it!)
Hi Chelsea! I came across your YT channel last week and have been watching all of your old videos. I'm loving it. You are real. I'm not moving to NYC in any way.. but I'm moving to São Paulo next week (I'm from Brazil, 32, single and working remotely), one of the biggest cities of the world, with a population of 12.33 million people. So, somehow, I can see myself in many of those thoughts and realizations. I just want to experience life in a different way, but (right know) with not many ambitions... just want to breath and live. Cheers from Brazil!
Growing up, I lived upstate NY. Watching tv shows and movies growing up about how magical NYC was, it made it so enticing. After college, I met my wife, and she grew up in the Bronx’s. She opened my eyes in how much a crap hole NYC is. Even the high end million dollar areas, there is still a bum pooping in front of the building. In the summer time, the streets stink like piss. Don’t believe me, take a trip to NYC in July. The crime is so out of control , all around that city, it’s spilling into the suburbs. They have stopped covering all the crime in the city on the news, because it’s scaring people away. Just another Hollywood fairytale that was not true.:(
Hello Chelsea, I just started watching you recently and I LOVE LOVE your videos. I am a Kenyan also living my "New York Journey" in Kenya. Just learning, relearning and unlearning a lot of things. Thank you for your authentic videos. You are like having an online big sister in New York. Keep winning and shining.